Chapter Text
Scar woke up feeling refreshed.
A good nap could really hit the spot, he was still a bit drowsy from their intense morning but he felt leagues better than before. Honestly he might’ve kept sleeping all the way to tomorrow if he didn’t start feeling a bit hungry. And it was good he did! The last thing Green needed was to skip more meals.
Speaking of Green he was still asleep. Curled up in the sea of blankets he looked more relaxed than Scar had ever seen him. His small wings were not only visible instead of hidden away under his shawl but completely lax, laying against his back like a pair of blankets. His face, so often pinched in concern or fear, was wiped clean, relaxed and peaceful. It almost didn’t suit him.
He spent a minute or two just staring at him until he abruptly realized how creepy he was being. He quickly shuffled out of the nook, snatching his cane from the nearby wall, leaving Green to his rest.
He had migrated part of his chest monster into the kitchen of Jellie’s castle earlier this morning. He usually didn’t bother making food for himself, relying on the far easier -if not as good- villager made stuff but he wanted Green to have a real meal. Nothing said comforting like a homemade meal and Green could definitely use some comfort.
So Scar made them lunch. It was honestly pretty fun, he’d kinda forgotten how much he enjoyed cooking when the other option was so convenient. He was just finishing up when Green joined him.
He didn’t even hear him come in, he just turned around and he was there. Scar yelped, nearly dropping the armful of ingredients he was putting away. Fortunately Green was quick on the draw, swooping in to grab whatever had fallen before it could land on the floor.
“Green! Didn’t see you there, how’re you doing? Sleep well?”
“Yeah, sorry.” Green mumbled quietly.
“What? About the ingredients? Don’t worry about that, you caught them all anyway.” Scar said with a laugh, one which Green didn’t return. He didn’t seem upset at least so Scar would take it.
“I just finished making us some lunch! Feel free to have as much as you want, I made plenty. You can eat down here or in your room if you'd rather.” Green nodded quietly, setting the ingredients on the counter and staring at them in contemplation.
Scar didn’t say anything either, gathering a couple plates for their freshly made pasta. He pointedly didn’t look at Green, not wanting to pressure him in any way, though he was internally delighted when he settled on a stool nearby.
“Got anything you want to do today?” Scar asked casually, passing a plate to Green.
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess get some more furniture for my room? I want to check in with Xisuma at some point too. I know you said he hasn’t found anything yet but I just- yeah. Anyway.”
Scar shot him a hopefully understanding and comforting smile. “Yeah I bet we can make that happen! Xisuma should be easy enough to get a hold of, we can go in person or you could call him on my com if you like. As for the furniture we tend to make our own since there isn’t really a shop that sells any. Other than my visionary mattress store of course. I’d be happy to help you make some though! I’ve always really enjoyed making furniture. You know I didn’t use to bother for the longest time but once I couldn’t find this exact piece I needed so-”
Scar ended up rambling all the way through lunch. He felt a little sheepish about it, he knew he tended to lose himself in his monologues but fortunately Green didn’t seem to mind.
As they finished eating and Scar ran out of steam on his current topic of choice -best wood types for various furniture pieces- they settled into a semi-peaceful silence. It was probably only uncomfortable to Scar who couldn’t stop thinking about their… conversation that morning.
He couldn’t stop himself from circling back to Green saving him from that creeper. At the time he just thought it was a nice gesture. Maybe Green had felt bad because he had just walked back or maybe he figured he had less items to potentially lose or whatever. When he came home to find Green panicking it threw all of that out the window.
He just couldn’t understand. Why would Green do something like that when he didn’t know if he would even respawn? If there was even a sliver of doubt why would he do anything but run?
“Uh Green.” He started nervously, swallowing heavily as Green turned his attention to him. “About yesterday-”
Immediately Green stiffened, his face paling slightly.
“- I really do appreciate you helping me out but I’m a little confused. And concerned. You thought your lives were limited? And you still took that creeper for me?”
Green swallowed the bite he had, staring resolutely down at the table. “I had to.”
Scar waited a moment for him to explain. He didn’t.
But it didn’t make any sense. Green didn’t have to do anything, especially when he thought his lives were limited and especially when he knew Scar’s weren’t.
Permadeath wasn’t something Scar thought about overly much, it was such a distant threat with an admin as seasoned and careful as Xisuma. He couldn’t imagine living with the kind of fear Green must.
“Why?” He asked, trying to sound less desperate than he felt. Green looked up at him, his vibrant, sickening eyes staring at him without emotion. “Why did you feel like you had to?”
Green grimaced, guilt flashing across his face. “Because I did. I-” he cut himself off, screwing his eyes shut. The room felt a little dimmer without them. “… I did something terrible.”
“Yeah?” Scar prompted gently after another tense moment of silence. Sure Green saving him was not the best decision but Scar would hardly go as far as to say terrible.
“Yeah. Not- not to you. You know, kind of.” Green scotched back from the table enough to curl his knees up to his chest. “Sorry, it gets confusing. Maybe we should think of a nickname for him too?”
“For him? Oh!” Scar sat up a bit more, instantly intrigued. “You mean your Scar don’t you? Why don’t we call him Yellow since that’s the color of his eyes.”
Green flinched minutely, Scar almost didn’t catch it. “Yeah, sure.”
“So you said you did something terrible to him, what happened?” Scar prompted gently. He almost felt bad for pushing but he couldn’t just let this go.
“I just… I didn’t mean anything by it, it was an accident. It was just supposed to be a joke.” Green’s eyes shuttered open. They looked haunted. “I uh, another friend of ours Martyn -I don’t know if you know him, or any version of him I mean- he had found a way to mimic a creeper hiss. It was really convincing, scared the shit out of me and several others. But it was fine y’know, just a joke. We all had a good laugh about it.” He looked down at his lap, twisting his fingers together anxiously.
“I’m not trying to pass the blame or anything, it’s just- the context helps.” He took a deep breath, his eyes looked a little misty. “There was a creeper just around and I- I thought it’d be funny. To scare Yellow with it.” Scar felt his palms start to sweat. Something was clicking together in his mind and he did not like it.
“I didn’t realize how close I’d actually brought it to him. He was de-sensitized or didn’t hear it or- it doesn’t matter. All that matters was that he died. His first life just gone. Gone like that, like nothing. He was the first to lose one and it…” He took in a weak breath, blinking past tears.
“I owe him my life.” He said solemnly. He didn’t even seem… upset or resigned or anything. But it felt weird, it felt wrong. “I’ve been trying to protect him, try to make up for it try to- to do something. I’ve taken so much from him, my life is the least I could offer.”
Scar swallowed back the faint taste of bile, averting his eyes guiltily.
He knew of course that whatever happened to Green yesterday wasn’t… good but he didn’t realize it’d be so- he certainly didn’t expect to be so connected to it anyway. Other him. Yellow.
Scar knew if it was him he wouldn’t want anyone to stay by his side out of some obligation. And he definitely knew he wouldn’t want someone’s life to belong to him.
“Well,” he started finally, nervously. “You don’t owe me anything.” Green turned back to him with his sharp, piercing eyes. “I just mean, you’re like trying to protect me and take care of me which is really nice and I’m not complaining or anything but- but you don’t owe me anything. If anything I should be taking care of you since you're my guest.”
“Oh.” Green looked back down to stare at the grooves in the table, face void of all emotion. “I guess so. But it wasn’t- I really do care about Scar. My Scar. It’s not like… I made it all sound worse than it is.”
Scar grimaced, wrapping his arms around himself in a sort of half hug. “I’m sure it’s… complicated. I don’t mean to judge you guys or anything I just… I’d like to know you’ll be ok when you go back.”
Green’s face twitched into something close to a smile before smoothing back out again just as quickly. “Well, I don’t know about that but I’m sure it won’t be any fault of Scar’s. Yellow’s.”
Scar shivered a bit at that. Of course he knew Green’s server was far from safe but it was still a little jarring to hear him talk about it so casually.
“I wish you could just stay here.” He said, voice quietly sincere.
“You know if I did Grian would probably never wake up.”
“What?” Scar turned to gape at him, shocked. “Why would you say that?”
Green blinked at him in surprise, his eyebrows furrowing together slightly. “Oh I just thought… well it pulled me in to be a replacement didn’t it? Until Grian’s done ‘resting’ or whatever.”
“Dude, what?” Scar reeled, Green was looking at him like everything he was saying was basic, assumed information. Of course Scar knew that Green’s arrival and Grian’s… situation were related but the way Green said it-
“You say it like it’s your fault.”
“Well it’s not my fault.” Green argued, frowning down at his intertwined fingers. “I didn’t ask to come here, and I don’t know why Grumbot fancied me a good replacement anyway but… pretty obvious that’s what’s going on isn’t it?”
“No! No that’s not obvious that's crazy! Look, I know the note said ‘dad rest’ or whatever but we don’t have any idea what that actually means. Grumbot never makes any sense. And besides if it wanted you to ‘replace’ Grian wouldn't it be online? For you to parent it or whatever.”
Scar leaned back, tapping against the head of his cane as he thought. “Honestly trying to figure out what Grumbot’s ‘thinking’ has always seemed like a bit of a fool's errand. We still don’t even know why it had us go to Empires. I mean it was super fun! I’m so glad we went, it was really great to become closer to some of those guys we don’t see so often, but I don’t know if it served any purpose for Grumbot.” He turned back to Green with a shrug, a weak smile on his face. “I know I’m in the minority here but I don’t feel like I need to understand what’s going on all the time. Sometimes it’s nice to just go with the flow and see where the world takes you.”
Green stared at him, his vibrant emerald eyes boring into him. “… You have a strange way of seeing things.”
“Thanks, I think.”
“It’s good I came here instead of you coming to my world.”
“Oh! Uh yeah I guess.” Scar shrunk a bit in his set, feeling suddenly sheepish. “Sorry, I feel a bit silly for going on like that.”
“It’s fine.” Green looked back out at nothing, something somber in his expression. “It’s nice.”
“… Thanks.”
Scar, quite frankly, didn’t know what the fuck to do now. He was still reeling from everything Green had said. He felt like his brain was lagging behind the conversation, still grappling with the first couple of sentences.
Green didn’t seem bothered by his silence, tracing his fingers along the wood grain quietly, lost in thought. Scar could only imagine what those thoughts were. He almost asked until he thought better of it, he probably didn’t even want to know.
“Well, I guess I just want to thank you. For talking to me.” Green snapped his gaze back over to him, his blinding green eyes impossible to read. “That was- well it was a lot. I appreciate you taking the time to explain everything but Green, please,” he leaned forwards, taking a risk to place a hand over Green’s. He didn’t pull away. “You don’t owe me anything. I know I said that already but I just- yeah. Anyway. And I know your respawn didn’t mess with your lives or anything but I’d still appreciate it if you were a bit more careful.” He smiled ruefully. “If you could see my respawn log you’d call me a hypocrite but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”
“Sure.” Green said, voice light and breathy and not all the way there. Scar couldn’t examine it too closely, it felt like his head was bursting at the seams with everything he’d already absorbed.
"Right ok." He let go of Green's hand, moving instead to fiddle with his cane anxiously. "Uh, you talked about wanting to do some furniture stuff? Do you want to do that now?"
"Yeah, if now's a good time." Green agreed easily, standing up and offering a hand to Scar.
He took it gratefully, flashing Green a warm smile. "Great! Let's head on back to the chest monster and you can pick out some wood and wool."
Working on the furniture was a welcome distraction. Scar knew exactly what he was doing, he could work on it without being afraid of messing anything up or making anything worse.
It was relieving, after everything.
—
Scar ended up helping Green with the furniture late into the day. Late enough that he decided to go and make them dinner. Late enough that Green felt awkward asking to call Xisuma.
It was fine. Surely. Green- well, he didn't trust Xisuma, but Scar did.
Green didn't really trust Scar either, so that was little comfort.
Still he didn't ask. He sat and ate some more of the best, most filling food he'd had in months and didn't say a word. Scar seeemd to have forgotten all about it, not so much as mentoning meeting Xisuma or Grumbot as he bid Green goodnight.
He glanced at the pile of blankets and pillows he'd made, the sight of it incredibly enticing. He would love nothing more than to just curl up and sleep like everything was fine. But a sick sort of uncertainty curled in his chest, a feeling that he ached to satiate.
It's not like he'd been told he wasn't allowed to leave Scarland. He'd be there and back so fast Scar would never know the difference.
Green equipped his borrowed eltrya, gliding out of one of the castles many grand windows and down to the entrance of the park.
Good thing there was a path right to where he needed to go.
—
Green came to a landing inside the Grumbot cave. He didn’t know why he was here, not exactly.
Everything about this mess had been so confusing and disorientating. Somethings had actually been kinda nice but with the undercurrent of fear that came from being separated from his charge it was hard to appreciate it. Scar needed him and he needed to be useful to Scar, to make it up to him. He couldn’t do that from wherever he was.
He walked up to the large robot's face, staring at it blankly. Such a strange entity, it had an inordinate amount of power over his life and while he was used to being fucked with for the amusement of ‘higher’ beings he at least understood what the Watchers were about. He didn’t know what this thing wanted.
Well, that wasn’t entirely true.
It wanted it’s ‘dad’ to rest. Grian. The player who shared his name and little else, but it was enough of a similarity for Green to get forcibly inserted into this world. The same Grian who built enormous, beautiful and intricate structures in this peaceful server surrounded by friends and allies. They were nothing alike.
A bitter taste surged in his mouth. Even if he was remotely ok with being a replacement it was obvious what a terrible choice he was. This Grumbot may be powerful but above all that it was stupid.
“Just what were you thinking anyway?” He asked it suddenly, glaring at it’s ‘sleeping’ face.
It, of course, didn’t answer.
“Or can you think at all? You’re nothing but a hunk of metal and code, what circuits shorted out to make you do something like this?” Still nothing. Green stalked up to it, circling around the monitor. “What am I even meant to be doing here? Be your fucking step dad? How can I do anything for you if you won’t tell me what you want!”
After doing a loop around the whole machine he stopped again at its monitor, glaring at the display. “At least They were upfront about what They wanted. Or maybe you want the same? Am I just your newest toy? Maybe you’ll only send me back if I stop being entertaining.”
The longer the silence stretched the more Green seethed. He was sick and tired of his life being fucked with, his and Scar’s.
“Tell me, what would make this boring for you? I won't kill myself. I wouldn’t even do that for Them and you won’t let me die here anyway, not for real.” He smiled, he wasn’t happy but he couldn’t help it. It was like his face was splitting open, spewing all the poison that’d been bubbling under the surface. “Oh that must be it, not dying is the real torture isn’t it? Death’s the easy way out is that right? Well you’re shit at your job, all your captives are living like it’s paradise.”
It didn't answer. Green wasn't truly expecting it to.
He sighed heavily, suddenly feeling exhausted. He sat down in front of the face of the machine, leaning back on one of the oversized wires behind him.
He sat there and stared. For… he wasn't sure how long. A while.
When a voice sounded behind him Green nearly startled right out of his skin.
“I shoulda known you’d be back here eventually."
Green was immediately on his feet. He spun around in an instant, pulling his dagger out in a swift, practised motion.
Xisuma was standing behind him. He cautiously raised his hands up near his head as he saw the knife gleaming in the low light. “Sorry I frightened you friend, I was burning the midnight oil and stepped out for a break. I wasn’t expecting any company.”
Green bristled, his wings fluffing up from where they were pinned to his back under his elytra. Instinctively he was trying to make himself bigger and more intimidating. Trying to match the chilling silhouette of the much larger admin, backed by the moon and still in full armor. The only thing he accomplished was a sharp and growing ache between his shoulders, one that would surely only get worse if he didn’t take his elytra off.
Without it he wouldn’t be able to leave the cave. He kept it on.
There was a brief moment of silence, Xisuma clearly waiting for Green to say something and Green determined to keep quiet. No one said he couldn’t come here, no one forbade him from leaving Scarland. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, anything against the rules. Not like Xisuma with his helmet anyway.
It caught the moonlight, shining blatantly obviously in the darkness. Green glanced to the sky, trying to spot any eyes peering down on them from the space between the stars.
Xisuma cleared his throat awkwardly and Green’s attention snapped back towards the admin. He lowered himself to the ground, sitting cross legged and pulling his com out. The light from his screen looked too bright and too artificial compared to the natural, soft moonlight filtering in from the opening above.
“I’ve been trying to read Grumbot’s code. Like I told you before, it was made by our Grian and another player named Mumbo. They made it of regular redstone, at least they thought so at the time, but it’s become more than the sum of parts somewhere along the way.”
He glanced up at Green, thanks to the light of the screen Green could see his face through the visor. He was smiling wearily, looking rather worn down. “I didn’t look very far into it at the time, our universe is filled with so many strange things. Worlds and servers brimming with experimental, unstable code. Mods that can do anything from creating brand new, never before seen resources to changing our perception of a regular, vanilla world like this one. I’ve long since stopped trying to understand it all, but this should have been an exception. In the beginning it was such a minor presence, the most it ever did was try to aid Grian and Mumbo and they were so fond of it. It’d feel cruel to try and shut it down.”
“Not that I’ve been trying to shut it down now of course, I suspect that would do far more harm than good at this stage. I’ve just been trying to understand it. It’s a shame it won’t talk to me like it talks to Grian and Mumbo, reading its code like this is like trying to understand how a player thinks by looking at their medical records.”
“Comparing it to a player? Rather bold of you, admin.” Xisuma seemed a bit startled that Green had decided to speak, and even more so by what he decided to say.
“Well I’d hardly say that, it’s sentient after all that has to count for something.”
“Something maybe, playerhood hardly.”
“On that I won’t debate you, perhaps it was an inept metaphor in the first place. I admit I’ve never been one for philosophy.” Xisuma said with a slight shrug of his shoulders before turning back to his com.
By now Green was convinced he wasn’t actually in trouble or any danger to speak of. He lowered his knife but kept it in hand, turning his back on the admin to look towards the machine once again.
It was definitely the same face from his dream, from right before he was brought here. Even back then it had felt oddly familiar, nostalgic in a way that defied all logic. He walked up to it, resting a hand on the cool screen of its face. He swore he felt it heat up a bit under his touch.
So he was a knock off copy of one of it's dads. Surely there were hundreds or maybe thousands of universes to pick from. If it wanted Grian to ‘rest’ so bad it could’ve plucked any old replacement out of whatever world it wanted. Presumably. Green couldn’t spare the time, couldn’t laze about in this eutopia when he’d left Scar behind in a server one hair trigger away from a warzone.
There was already blood in the air. Ever since the server saw Scar go red it’d been holding its collective breath, waiting for the first real kill. And more than that, the first real death. He couldn’t let it be Scar, not after all he did to protect him, all he did to try and cover for the horrific disadvantage he’d put Scar in. Scar wouldn’t be first, he’d make sure of that.
“I need to go home.” He admitted, voice thick with the threat of tears. He couldn’t cry now, not here. He wasn’t safe here.
The typing of Xisuma’s com stuttered to a stop, even without turning around Green knew he had looked up at him. He could feel his eyes boring into his back, could practically hear the questions on the tip of his tongue.
“I’m sorry.” He said instead, making Green tense with shock. “I’m doing all I can to bring you safely back there, I promise.”
“Your word doesn’t mean anything.” Xisuma sucked in a sharp breath, a heavy tension crackled to life in the space between them. Green felt every muscle in his body tense, ready to spring into action, ready to fight if now was the moment this admin let his caring facade slip.
He held his breath as he waited, wings fighting for freedom from behind his elytra, the muscles straining so hard they cramped painfully.
“... I suppose it doesn’t.” He said finally. He sounded sad. Sounded resigned. “I don’t think I’ll make any more progress tonight. Besides, if my players found out I’ve been skipping sleep they’d just drag me off to bed themselves.” Xisuma stood, Green still didn’t turn around but he could hear the half step Xisuma took towards him before thinking better of it and backing off. “It’s hardly my place to say it, but I suspect you could use some sleep too. Try and get some rest.”
Rest. Funny.
With that a loud pop sounded, the smell of gunpowder filled his nose like poison. Then in a rush of wind the admin -Xisuma- was gone. Leaving Green standing alone in the cave. Mostly alone. He glanced at Grumbot’s face once more, grimacing slightly at the ridiculous mustache.
Sentient. Ridiculous.
Green flew back to Scarland, leaving Grumbot to his rest.