Chapter Text
The whole cafeteria was looking at them. Ho Sub just squealed so loudly that for a moment Si Mok thought that he morphed into a seagull. They both bowed apologetically in the general direction of other tables before leaning towards each other. Few smirks, raised eyebrows and curious murmurs later the attention was off them, and the normal buzz of conversations returned to the cafeteria.
“I’m sorry. Si Mok, you’re a man of action!” whispered the investigator, giggling as if he won a moderate prize in a lottery. Si Mok observed him stoically, although he could feel a smile forming on his lips. It was… nice, having someone react so enthusiastically to stories from his life, he thought.
“You advised me to go for it.”
“I just didn’t expect you to actually do it so quickly,” Ho Sub tried explaining, hoping that his lunch partner wouldn't ask more questions. While the prosecutor was always clear and firm in his opinions, his demeanor was generally considered meek by those working with him. Ho Sub estimated it would take Si Mok two to three business years to kiss Yeo Jin.
“So, you’re dating,” Ho Sub said proudly. Mentally, he added another success story to his match-making abilities, although his input was rather small this time.
Si Mok nodded, looking to the side before his gaze dropped to the food adoringly. He had no problems labeling this Monday as a great day. He was in love and dating, talking about it with his friend over a heavenly lunch. All of this would have sounded absurd to him just a month ago.
After lunch, Si Mok was called to the Prosecutor’s Choi office. It was an unexpected appointment, as Si Mok rarely worked directly with the chief. When he entered the office, Choi’s assistant brought him coffee unprompted - black with a bit of milk and no sugar, just as he liked. It was a subtle sign that Hwang Si Mok wasn’t the only person in the office that was paying attention to details.
“Sit down,” Prosecutor Choi ordered without flourish. When Si Mok obliged, he continued, “How long have you been here, Prosecutor Hwang?”
“Nine months, sir”, Si Mok replied, making a move in a game that he knew his opponent predicted already. He had no idea what this meeting was about. Their quarterly meeting wasn’t supposed to happen for another month. There were no cases in need of consultation, there was absolutely nothing out of order needing fixing in his work.
“What are your ambitions, Prosecutor Hwang?” the boss asked nonchalantly. Si Mok’s conversations with his boss were frequently chaotic, so such a question wasn’t out of the ordinary. Prosecutor Choi seemed to be a fan of a strategy of an attack on all fronts. Si Mok didn’t respond.
“Do you want to sit at this desk one day?” his boss inquired, tapping his finger on the title accompanying his name on the badge standing at the desk. Si Mok kept silent. He wasn’t suited for long-term people management, and such a high role included plenty of people managing.
“I wish to use my abilities well as a prosecutor,” he finally responded with something lazy but safe. Prosecutor Choi looked bored. Again, this non-committal answer was expected.
“You know that we move prosecutors every two years or so,“ Choi said, resigning from trying to get more information out of his subordinate. “But I will be honest with you. I looked at your papers. Your work history, your cases and recommendations from previous bosses,” he paused for a reaction that never came. No microexpressions crossed Hwang Si Mok’s inexpressive face. “You have too much potential to waste it away on routine, long cases like we have here. After this post, you’re set for promotion.”
Choi looked at him for a minute, but this unnerving strategy wasn’t working on anyone else in this room but him. Si Mok didn’t react, as this wasn’t news to him. They already discussed it during their recent meeting, so bringing it up again seemed like a waste of time.
“I have an opportunity for you. A post has opened, and despite your short time here I think you should try for it. Sure, we can wait another year if you want to, but consider. There’s no guarantee of something so good opening soon. Deputy Chief Prosecutor of the First Criminal Division, how does it sound? It’s a promotion, and it will open the doors to move to Special Investigations later. You will have my full recommendation.”
Only then the younger prosecutor reacted. A tiny frown appeared.
“Is Prosecutor Kim changing position?”
“No,” Prosecutor Choi responded, waiting for the inevitable next question. The young prosecutor didn’t refuse outright, which meant that he was interested. Hooked, thought the chief.
“Then which office is it?”
“Our one and only Busan. You already worked in the capital, so you should be more than fine there.”
Si Mok looked at the map hanging on the wall, as if he was checking the distance between the cities. It was a useless gesture; he knew the exact distance and time it took to travel from Seoul to Busan. Three hours by train, more by car depending on the traffic.
Choi Sung Hyung was surprised at his subordinate's reaction, who was looking at the map in the most intense display of emotion that Choi ever saw from him. He looked sad in a calm way, like a person who was about to go to a beach but it started raining. Did he miss something? Prosecutor Hwang was a certified loner estranged from his family, Choi was sure of it. And it wasn’t even that far away, his last post in the south had much worse connection with the capital, if this was important. This was a complication in the perfect plan of distancing himself from the problematic prosecutor. If Hwang Si Mok takes the position, they will both gain, Choi thought. Busan also gave infinite opportunities to make noise, if this was what his weird subordinate wanted.
Since their recent visit to Seoul, Prosecutor Choi was contemplating over what to do with this dangerous man working under him. Choi had a good, albeit unremarkable, career and he wasn’t planning on sullying it with an inter-office scandal breaking out towards the end of his working years. With someone like Prosecutor Hwang, it was a matter of time. How many people in his office were truly honest? How many had never bent the rules, never looked the other way? Choi couldn’t vouch for each of dozens of his subordinates, and he wasn’t going to wait patiently for this time bomb to explode in his hands. He had nothing to hide regarding his own integrity, but any bigger problem below him would force him into the shame of resignation.
Prosecutor Hwang was a good employee suited for this job, so the chief didn’t feel particularly guilty for speeding up his career at the cost of more experienced candidates. The caveat was that for an early promotion, he needed Hwang Si Mok’s enthusiastic, formal application. The position was in a grueling division but overall attractive for someone without ties, so Choi didn’t expect the slightest problems here. Of course, it wasn’t so easy. The problematic prosecutor wasn’t called problematic for no reason.
“Can I think about it, sir?” he asked, the sadness on his face untraceable in his voice.
“Come to my office on Friday. With or without the application,” agreed Prosecutor Choi. There was no point in trying to convince the other man. Clearly there was some obstacle that he needed to process. “I will send you the details by email. You can go.”
Prosecutor Hwang stood up and barely bowed before leaving the office.
Si Mok’s head was touching the cold tiles of the men's bathroom windowsill, his face sweaty after the shock his body just went through. He had barely made it from his boss’ office to the nearest bathroom before the attack came. Despite a few months’ break, the pain was as familiar as ever. High pitched sound, gasping for air, wanting to split his head open to free it from the insane pressure, it was all like a clockwork. He could easily imagine his internal, invisible time bomb resetting itself, already ticking down towards another time, another horror.
The pain subsided and Si Mok started noticing his surroundings again. Someone loosened up his tie, and now he remembered that a stranger’s hands guided him towards the window before patting all his pockets. He opened his eyes, bracing himself before the inescapable exchange.
“Are you OK? Do you need any medicine? Should I call an ambulance?” asked a concerned voice. A prosecutor that Si Mok knew only in passing was looking at him with eyes wide open. Si Mok shook his head with as much energy as he could muster. It was a mistake, because he instantly felt nauseous.
“Prosecutor Hwang, how many fingers do you see?” another pale face appeared. It was Prosecutor Lee, who Si Mok recently drove to the conference in Seoul. He waved his hand in front of Si Mok so quickly that his nausea intensified.
“Three,” he said hoarsely after swallowing with effort. If he vomits, they will definitely call an ambulance. Luckily, it looked like he half-guessed correctly, as the two men looked significantly calmer.
“Do you need anything? Coffee?” asked Prosecutor Lee, now more steadily.
“I’m fine. I apologize,” Si Mok stood up shakily and leaned against the wall. It must’ve looked really strange when he was kneeling on the floor, pressing his head into the cold tiles. He would be angry with himself if he could, but he just felt overwhelming tiredness. It was a short, but strong attack, and having witnesses made it much worse. The two men were looking at him expectantly.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine. Thank you for your help,” he said drily, fixing his tie as much as he could without looking in the mirror. He didn’t want to see how he looked right now. He’d seen enough in his coworkers’ eyes to make an educated guess.
“Here,” Prosecutor Lee gave him a wet towel, pointing at his face. Si Mok bowed slightly while taking it and wiped his face, waiting for them to leave. The men didn’t move.
“Do you have epilepsy?” Lee asked suddenly, and the other man cringed at the personal question. Si Mok opted for an ambiguous head movement, hoping that it would be enough to stop more questions. Miraculously, it worked. He really must look horrible for them to take pity on him so quickly. Prosecutor Lee moved closer, fixed Si Mok’s tie with expert hands, mechanically cleaned up non-existing dust from his shoulders, and finished the process with a strong pat to his arm. It reminded Si Mok of Yeo Jin, so he labeled it as a friendly gesture.
“I’m fine now,“ he repeated, but in the end Prosecutor Lee decided to accompany him to his office door, just in case. The other man left them alone, and Si Mok could only hope that he was as discreet as Prosecutor Lee seemed to be.
Back in his office and somewhat back to his usual self after a strong coffee, Si Mok absent-mindedly moved his mouse in a circular motion, pretending to work. If Miss Park noticed anything amiss with him, she didn’t comment.
Si mok knew what caused the attack. The proposed early promotion was like a gift too good to be true. Criminal divisions were infamous for the heavy workload and violent material, especially in big cities, but it wasn’t something that bothered him as much as others. Most of his work was like that, before the few white-collar cases he tackled towards the end of his post in Seoul. And the Council, of course. As Prosecutor Choi said, moving from a Criminal Division to Special Investigations Division wasn’t unattainable if he ever wished to focus more on bigger investigations. The promotion to Deputy Chief also sounded good. Management, but still with enough space left to have investigations on your own. Hwang Si Mok couldn’t help but admire how well his boss had picked the spot for him.
The problem was, Si Mok didn’t want the position. Not if it meant moving to Busan. He knew it instantly, the only reason he didn’t refuse outright was because the headache was already building and it would take more time to explain his refusal than to simply postpone it. Si Mok’s whole adult life was built around doing his job well, and going where he was ordered to in a belief that he was working towards the good of society. Now, for once, he wanted to put his own preference over the orders, even if it meant refusing a very attractive promotion. He wanted to stay in Wonju for as long as he could. If they move him far away the next year, he will at least have a year more of closeness to Seoul that finally meant something to him. And Wonju also started to find its place in his heart. For the first time in a long time, Si Mok felt close to someone. Not only Yeo Jin, but Ho Sub too. Someone could say it was only two people, but it was infinitely more than just a few months ago. By some impossible luck, his life stopped being about paying back a debt of his existence, and began to be about simply living it. He remembered the lunch that seemed so far away now, and the warmth he felt at the investigator’s expressive reactions. It was astonishing that it was this “heart over mind” revelation that made his nervous system short-circuit.
Si Mok spent the week without thinking about the issue anymore. Knowing so clearly what he wanted was liberating. He will wait till the standard end of his post in Wonju, and see what happens next, case closed. He also has spent little time thinking about the attack witnessed by his coworkers. He would've known by now from concerned Ho Sub if there would be any gossip about it.
In the evenings, he read the mystery book that he got in Suwon. It was “Lolita”, a controversial book that even he had heard about, and indeed it had an unreliable narrator, on top of a disturbing theme. Lies, abuse, manipulation and all kinds of crimes were part of Si Mok’s daily work, but he wondered how such a book was perceived by people whose paths have never crossed with criminals. On Thursday, after finishing the story, he decided to get another mystery book during his weekend visit to Seoul, this time promising himself to choose something guaranteeing a lighter topic. He was sure that Yeo Jin wouldn’t mind dropping by a bookstore.
The thought of spending the whole weekend with her was at the back of his mind constantly throughout the week. They texted about it and made little plans every day around lunchtime. Si Mok was almost sure that he was excited, even if he didn’t exactly feel it the way others seemed to. Yeo Jin invited him under the condition that he will go hiking with her on Saturday, and he agreed instantly. He liked everything about this idea.
Si Mok started Friday with eating the frog. He went straight to his boss’ office and was let in instantly. Prosecutor Choi’s happy expression changed immediately when he noticed that his guest was empty-handed. He gestured towards the most uncomfortable seat in his office, and raised his eyebrows expectantly.
“I decided not to try for the position you mentioned,” the younger man said without preamble. The chief looked at him with visible anger.
“Why? Is it too perfect for you?” he asked sarcastically.
“Personal reasons.”
“Will the personal reasons be gone next year when you’re moved to, say, Jeju?” Prosecutor Choi asked, the question sounding much more like a threat than he intended. It baffled him that Hwang Si Mok, who had no personality, had personal reasons. But the chief was an experienced man, and this failure to move the nosy kid away was just another thing that he knew he will have to accept. The anger started to leave him as quickly as it appeared. Meanwhile, Hwang Si Mok had no shame, because he actually smiled. That is, the corners of his lips moved upwards for a split second.
“I hope not.”
Prosecutor Choi sighted, looking at the map on the wall. He seemed to have calmed down quickly. In the silence stretching between them, Si Mok almost asked the question that he already knew the answer to. There was no need to say it out loud, it would only put a bigger mark on him. They both knew why he was given this opportunity, and as long as it remained unsaid they could maintain the status quo. Si Mok had a sensation that he couldn’t quite name, but it felt as if the knowledge weighed more than iron, pulling him down. How heavy will it get by the end of his career? He sat with such thoughts for a while, waiting to be dismissed. Finally, his boss returned his gaze towards him, face as neutral as Si Mok’s. They were both learning from each other and of each other.
“You can go. Keep up the good work,” Prosecutor Choi said, not unkindly.
Si Mok stood up, bowed a bit deeper than when he entered, and left the office. He ate the frog, now he had only one more workday to go through and then, finally, the weekend.