Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Okay. Today is the day. I’m gonna ask him.

Roxanne took a dep breath, steeling her nerves. She had to get this right. She didn’t think it was too much of an exaggeration to say her life was at stake.

She had been waiting for three weeks. Three, god-damned weeks, for this chance, ever since she came up with the idea and she would be damned if she had to wait another three weeks, or how ever long it took Megamind to kidnap her again, to ask him.

It’s now or never Roxanne, and never is not an option.

She had just woken up in the kidnapping chair, her hands tied to the arm rests, disgusting bag (that they still had not washed!) over her head and now all she had to do was wait. She knew from experience that it wouldn’t be long.

She had never been nervous during a kidnapping, at this point she almost felt more comfortable in the chair then she did on her own couch at home, but right now her heart was practically beating out of her chest. She didn’t have a back up plan. If he refused…

But he wont… maybe… maybe he wont…. God please say yes, please please please say yes…

Roxanne never prays. Normally she’d scoff at herself for even thinking of it but this time… Roxanne squeezed her eyes shut and begged, pleaded, implored even, that Megamind would say yes… that he would agree to help her.

Finally she heard them. They were casually chatting in the hall on their way to her and she let the familiar sound of their banter calm her. She did some deep breathing as they got closer but it didn’t seem to help much, she was still an inch away from hyperventilating. They could probably hear her heart beating from all the way across the room.

They were laughing when they came into the room and Megamind’s big theatrical guffaws which usually set her at ease, this time only made her shoulders tense.

The bag was ripped off her head and she looked up into Megaminds smiling face. He spun with a flourish, his new cape fluttering majestically as it settled at his sides, framing him perfectly.

That had to be practiced. There’s just no way that happened organically. Come on Megamind, how long did you practice that in the mirror before you got it just right?

Under normal circumstances, she might have smiled back, crossed her legs, said some sarcastic quip about his dramatics… the internal monologue was helping, she decided. She was far too tense for the time being to actually participate in their usual sarcastic banter but this, at least, helped.

“Miss Ritchi!” Megamind spread his arms wide in a welcoming gesture, giving a little sarcastic bow. “We meet again.”

Say something Roxanne. Now, do it now! Before the cameras turn on and Metroman shows up! Say something!

She froze…

She couldn’t even form the words…

Megamind paused and gave her an odd look. It was her turn, after all. She ‘missed her cue’ so to speak and he noticed. Ever the professional, he carried on though.

“Don’t try to stop me, Miss Ritchi!” he yelled, swinging around dramatically and starting towards the control panel on the wall. “Today is the day all of Metrocity will bow before my power!” he turned sharply, looking back at her in anticipation she could read all over his face and still…

SAY SOMETHING! Please!

When she still said nothing he glanced behind her, perplexed, to where she assumed Minion was though she couldn’t see him. She could almost make out his helpless shrug at her silence out of the corner of her eye.

“… uh… Minion! Prepare the ‘Device’!” her quiet seemed to have knocked the wind out of his sails. Even the brainbots, zooming around above them (doing god knows what) seemed to have lost a bit of pep in their flight.

He hesitantly started to turn away, brow furrowed. He almost looked hurt that she wouldn’t respond…

….

“…wait.”

She barely got the word out, a whisper, but the reaction as immediate.

Megamind fully turned back to her but made no move to come any closer. “Miss Ritchi?” he said, just as quietly.

….

Okay, this is it. Just say it… Say the word… Say it…

…

“……….. Timeout.”

The reaction was… abrupt, to say the least.

Megamind’s eyes widened as he looked sharply at Minion. “Minion, code: black.” He said with urgency. Minion ran over to the other wall and pressed a single button, well-hidden on the side of a support beam.

Immediately, all the brainbots left except for maybe half a dozen that seemed to all group together in the corner, waiting, it looked like.

Every monitor shut down, every blinky light and spiny dial turned off. The constant hum of machinery that she had never even noticed before was gone. Even the lighting changed. The lair that was before dark, filled with shadows from strategically placed lights, was now lit in a soft, gentle glow, easy on the eyes but filling the space and in one effective blow, made everything feel much less intimidating.

Megamind rushed over, stopping just a few feet away, and looking at her with such concern…

“Is everything okay, Miss Ritchi?” he said softly.

“Yes.” She answered reflexively and winced because obviously, it was not. Her eyes dropped to the shiny silver M on the clasp of his cape because looking into Megaminds big eyes, filled with care and concern was just too much right now. “I mean, no… I… I wanted to ask you something…”

She trailed off and tried to gather her thoughts. Her stomach was all tied up in knots and she was genuinely concerned she might lose her lunch before she could get through her little speech. Megamind, to his credit, let her gather herself in silence (although she did happen to catch the shocked look he and Minion shared over her shoulder).

God, she hated this! She had never been prone to anxiety before… before. Now she couldn’t go five minutes without looking over her shoulder. Her clothes didn’t fit right any more because she was losing weight because she couldn’t eat because her stomach was always twisted up in knots. She couldn’t live like this any more!

“I wanted to propose a deal.” She tried going for her ‘strong reporter voice’ but she felt like it might have missed the mark by a few miles, especially since she still couldn’t bring herself to look the blue man in the eye.

Megamind was silent for only a second before his eyes lit up and he practically bounced forward a step in excitement.

“What kind of deal, Miss Ritchi? Do tell!” he was like a kid being promised his favorite candy, bouncing on the balls of his feet and if this had been two weeks ago, Roxanne would’ve rolled her eyes fondly…

“A deal.” She confirmed. “I would like you to do something for me and in exchange… I will do what ever you want for the next 3 kidnappings…” she paused, eyes still trained on that silver ‘M’, waiting for any kind of reaction or commentary and didn’t really know what to do when none came. “What I mean by that is, I wont hurt anyone or cause any kind of property damage or anything like that but, if you want me to scream or beg o-or if there’s anything specifically you want me to do or say, I-I’ll do it. Anything you want, f-for the next 3 kidnappings…” the stutter was new and she hated that just as much as the anxiety. The longer she talked, the more ridged Megamind became until he was standing still as a statue in front of her.

She’d known the man for almost 7 years at this point and she’d learned a lot about him in the short amount of time she’d spent with him during their ‘visits’. One thing she had learned as fact was that a still Megamind was not a good thing.

He had never been still while looking at her. He was always smiling, spinning, jumping, rocking, throwing himself around from one side of the room to the other, flailing and dancing and always always moving…

Megamind stood in front of her, motionless. He had leaned back until his body was ramrod straight, arms at his sides, not even his fingers were twitching.

“What, exactly, do you want me to do in return?” his voice was unnervingly calm. He never took his eyes off her and she could feel his calculating gaze pinning her down to the point she didn’t thing she’d be able to move even if she wasn’t tied to the chair.

“… I want you to make someone go away…” it came out quieter than she had meant it to but the way he was looking at her was really eating away at her nerves and she was already almost about to back out before she’d said anything at all.

Megamind reared back in shock, his eyes going wide and… fearfull?

“Miss Ritchi…” he began carefully, “are you asking me to… kill someone for you?” he kept his voice and face neutral, waiting for Roxanne to confirm.

Her eyes grew to the size of saucers and for the first time that day she looked him in the eye. “No! No no no no! That’s not what I meant, I swear. I would never ask you to do something like that!” Roxanne said in a rush and of course that’s what he would think!

Phrasing, Roxanne! Phrasing!

His posture finally relaxed a bit, relieved, she was sure.

“I don’t want you to kill him I just…” this was the hard part, really, because she didn’t even know what he could do but if anyone could do anything, it would be Megamind. “I just want him to go away. I want him to go on the other side of the country. The other side of the planet! I don’t want to accidently bump into him in the store or at work. I don’t want to hear his voice or see his face or, or, or anything ever again. I just want him gone!” by the time she was done she was out of breath and… Megamind had gone still again.

He stared down at her from 3 feet away, calculating, analyzing her every breath and each tiny twitch of her fingers, arms crossed over his chest. “What did he do?”

“…..”

She couldn’t answer that.

“… What did he do Miss Ritchi?”

“I… I don’t-”

Please don’t make me say it…

“Because I’ve known you for a long time now and I know you’ve had to deal with your fair share of… bad men, shall we say…”

“Stop, I don’t-”

“And you’ve never asked for any kind of help before.”

“I don’t want to talk about-”

Stop! Please!

“I’ve seen you interview serial killers, arsonists and tax attorneys and look completely in your element.” Roxanne had never heard him speak in that tone before. His voice had taken on a darker quality that sent a shiver down her spine.

“Megamind please, don’t-” he wouldn’t let up and Roxanne was never more angry then now that the man was so damn good at tying knots and she hated the shame filled wetness starting to fill the edges of her eyes because she couldn’t cry in front of Megamind! She just couldn’t!

“So what did he do Miss Ritchi?”

“Stop stop STOP it, I don’t want to-”

“What. Did. He. Do.” He leaned in and carefully enunciated every word, eyes hard and mouth thin.

“He raped me, Okay?!” her scream echoed around the room and she got some kind of vindictive pleasure out of it because at least that shut him up.

“He- he- I- I was” and now she couldn’t stop. Now that she’d finally said it, all the words just started coming out of her. Everything she had been trying to pretend was just a horrible nightmare. “I- I- I went to t-this bar with my f-friends and he was there and we work together and I- I thought he was- I thought I could trust him and he asked me to dance and then the n-next thing I know I’m waking up in the b-back of his v-van and he’s on top of me!” she was stuttering (the god-damned stuttering!) and gasping and everything just came rushing out in one breath so by the end she was barely making actual words, her sounding more like breathy squeaks… and it was the first time she had actually said what happened out loud. “He was on top of me!” she repeated, forcing it out between gasping sobs. “H-he was… and I- I c-couldn’t mo-move. I couldn’t move or scream or anything!”

She couldn’t even see through her tears anymore but Megamind had gotten closer and she reached up (and when had they untied her hands?) and wrapped her arms tight around his waist, burying her face in his sternum. He held her tight right back, wrapping his arms around her upper shoulders, one of his hands on the back of her head, pressing her even closer. She found that once she started she couldn’t stop; not the tears or the story. She’d been walking around for weeks, pretending it never happened, pushing it away, working till she dropped and now it was all coming out and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

“He took my id! When he was done, he went through my bag and took my id and he- he… he drove me home… he carried me up to my apartment and put me on my couch… he took my spare key… a- a- and…
he fucking kissed me goodnight… like we were on a fucking date or something…” she was close to hyperventilating, rushing through the story, and somehow it was easier to talk now that he was holding her.

“I work with him, Megamind. Every day I have to go and work in the same building as him and I'm… I'm so scared… I’m scared to walk home at night and I'm scared to go to bed and I'm scared to go to sleep and I'm just… scared… I-I don’t want anyone to know about it, I just want him to go away! Please, please I just want him to go away! Please Megamind. Please, please, please…” she couldn’t talk anymore, she just devolved into ragged sobs and gasping breaths, squeezing Megamind for all she was worth and he held her back, one hand on her back rubbing soothing circles on her shoulders, and one hand carding through her hair, keeping her firmly where she was and she was just so grateful that he hadn’t pushed her away and was allowing her this small comfort. This wasn’t exactly their usual dynamic. In fact, she realized, this was probably the first time he ever touched her in any way.

She didn’t know how long they stayed like that but at some point her breathing finally calmed enough that she wasn’t right on the edge of hyperventilating and her crying could be classified as more of a weep instead of the deep and humiliating sobs they had been before. No less embarrassing of course but at least, possibly, more dignified?

No no, Roxanne, there’s no dignity here. Nice try. Megamind’s never gonna look at you the same now. You had a complete break down right in front of him, you’re fucking pathetic.

She was so caught up in her own head that she didn’t notice they were moving until the lighting changed. She looked around and saw they were walking down a dimly lit hallway, Megamind had a strong arm wrapped around her waist and she found herself clinging to him like a frightened child and really, at his point, she couldn’t find it in herself to be any more mortified than she already was. So she wrapped her hands up in his cape and just held on tighter.

“Where are we going?” she got out between soft gasping breaths. She’d never heard herself sound like that before either.

Megamind squeezed her a little tighter and patted her hand where it was clenched in his shirt. “I’m taking you home, Miss Ritchi.” He said softly.

“What… what about the plot?” oh god, here she was trying to ask him for a favor and instead she went and ruined his plot?! She hadn’t missed the fact that he hadn’t said yes and really, she thought, it was no wonder. He was a super villain, he could have anything, make anything he wanted so all she could really offer him was her obedience and really, what had she been expecting?

Megamind just shook his head a little. “I think we can save this plot for another day. No harm done.” And he was speaking so softly and genuinely that all she could do was duck her head and stare at her feet in shame as he steered her through his lair and into the garage. She instinctively went to get in the back seat but he led her over to the front passenger door and help her inside.

Any other time she would’ve been looking around and memorizing all the buttons and gadgets because, when would she ever realistically get to sit in the front seat of the invisible car again? Now, though, she just curled up close to the door and leaned her head on the cool glass, trying desperately to stop crying but it seemed like she had opened the metaphorical flood gates.

It had been over three weeks since it happened and she had just been walking around, trying to pretend like it hadn’t. Today was the first time she had actually acknowledged it and it seemed like her body was unwilling put all that stress and fear and anxiety back in pandoras box and she really really wished this didn’t have to happen in front of Megamind, of all people.

She looked down when she felt a slight pressure on her arm. It was a small tissue box. She looked up to his face for the first time that night and saw him glance at her from the corner of his eye then quickly right back to the road. She took the box with a whispered ‘thank you’ and slowly started wiping at her soaking wet face. The tissue came back smudged in day old mascara and she knew it had to have been all over her face and wasn’t that just a cherry on top of this fucking cake of a day?

Roxanne was absolutely drained and it was hitting her all at once. She hadn’t been sleeping and the sleep she did get certainly wasn’t restful. She had been a tangled ball of nerves for weeks, jumpy and on edge and she was just so tired. The rumble of the engine and strangely comfortable silence was like a soothing balm to her frayed and anxious mind and it hit her, in that moment, that right here in the front seat of Megaminds car, sitting next to an actual super villain who had kidnapped her over 100 times by now, was the first time she had felt safe all month.

She had almost forgotten what that felt like.

It wasn’t long before her apartment building came into view and she sat up straight, eyes down cast and fought down the urge to ask him one more time.

They rolled to a stop outside the entrance to her building and Megamind reached back and grabbed her purse from the backseat, handing it to her gently.

She only hesitated for a moment, before taking it from him with a trembling hand and whispering a quiet “thank you”.

When she went to open her door, he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She turned back with wide eyes and for a moment, all they did was look at each other.

Slowly, Megamind reached out his right hand for a handshake.

Roxanne was torn between hope and confusion, but she reached out and took it with her own.

“I accept your proposal.”

Chapter Text

Roxanne didn’t know what to expect the next day but what she got was far and beyond anything she could have imagined.

It started with the keys.

She ambled down the stairs the next morning, planning to make herself some coffee and maybe choke down some cereal if her stomach would let her. Instead, she found a set of keys and a note.

The note read simply, “These are the new keys for your home. These are the only copies and they will only work for you.” It was written in elegant ink on thick stationary that had a swirling ‘M’ in the upper right corner.

When she held them up, she could tell they weren’t normal keys. They didn’t look like any kind of keys she had ever seen before. It was smooth until she placed her thumb on the flat part and then it transformed into what looked closer to a typical key and when she looked at her front door, there was indeed a new doorknob and deadbolt.

Megamind had made her a new doorknob with new locks and a set of keys that was connected to her fingerprints and would only work for her.

Suddenly, it felt like she could breathe again. Like she was inhaling for the first time in weeks. She felt butterflies in her stomach, but they were the good kind. The kind where she thought maybe she actually could eat something today and not be sick.

Of course, that was when she noticed the box of fresh donuts right next to her coffee maker.

So, it was a good morning. The first good morning she’d had in a while.

Her walk into the office was still nerve wracking. She had to take a deep breath, a few deep breaths, before she could make herself go into the building. Recently, this had become one of the worst parts of her day. She and him worked in different departments and different floors but sometimes, at least before, they would end up in the same elevator at the same time.

She’d been making it a habit lately to show up either too late or too early for that to happen anymore and even went so far as to just take the stairs on the days she didn’t feel up to taking the chance.

Still, the fear that he was lurking around every corner was ever present. Mostly because sometimes he would be.

Today, however, was different.

Something was different and she couldn’t exactly put her finger on it but it was like the air felt better. She didn’t realize it until the day was almost over but it felt like going from being watched constantly to not being watched at all.

Like the eyes she was imagining on her back and the presence she could feel skulking around her bubble was just gone.

Her walk home had become another trying part to her day but, again, it was different.

She was getting used to looking over her shoulder and picking out places to hide if she needed to or even taking the longer route home because it meant more light and more people.

She hadn’t even walked one block when she heard it.

A brain bot!

Roxanne looked up and all around and for the second time in so many days, she felt like crying.

On the top of every building, out of sight to anyone who didn’t know what to look for, was a brain bot. Dozens of them. They lined the streets on both sides, their little glowing blue heads just barely peaking out over the rooftops.

She walked straight home and they were on every. Single. Building.

Chapter Text

Megamind didn’t make a habit out of kidnapping people who weren’t Miss Ritchi.

But he could make an exception.

It didn’t even take the whole night to find him. He dropped Miss Ritchi off at her home, snuck back in an hour later to change her locks and drop off some fresh donuts, and was breaking into his house before the clock hit 3am.

It might have been quicker if he had thought to ask her what his name was but he didn’t ask and she didn’t offer. Besides, it was more fun this way.

What did he know about the man.

• He worked with Miss Ritchi but in separate departments.
• He owned a van.
• He was in his mid-30’s.
• He frequented bars near his work.

From there, it was simple.

He hacked into KMCP’s staff directory and the DMV records, cross referenced every mid-30’s man who owned a van and worked at the station and came up with exactly eight names. All that was left to do was see which one was at the bar at the same time as Miss Ritchi and the facial recognition software he created took less than five minutes to narrow his list down to one.

Trevor B. Mitchell.

Trevor lived in a small two-bed one-bath apartment on the upper east side of town. He drove a small van, a 2005 black Chevy Express. He made $65k a year working in the I.T. department at KMCP which made it even more depressing how laughable his online security was. The man’s laptop had the weakest firewall Megamind had ever seen.

It took four minutes for him to find everything he needed to know that he would use to destroy this man.

That was already the plan, of course, but now? After finding the pictures, the videos, the extortion and blackmail of his other victims and what he would undoubtably do to Miss Ritchi if given the chance, he decided not to wait.

At first, Megamind thought he might take his time, learn all he could of the man, torment him in the way he deserved until he was begging for peace.

But that was too good for him. Trevor deserved something special.

He woke up confused and in pain. He knew he went to sleep in his bed last night but that definitely was not where he was waking up.

There was a bag over his head but he could already tell he wasn’t in his apartment anymore. It was too quiet for it to be his apartment.

There were ropes tied tightly around his wrists and ankles, keeping him locked in place on this metal chair. There was more rope tied across his chest so tightly that he was restricting his breathing and making the chair back dig painfully into his spine.

“Oh good. You’re awake.”

Trevor jumped as the calm voice broke the silence, sending his heart into a frenzy. He might have screamed if it weren’t for the gag in his mouth and wrapped securely around his head.

“I’d worried I got a little carried away with the forget-me stick.” The voice continued with a dark chuckle. Trevor felt a shiver go down his spine.

Suddenly a hand was at his head, roughly yanking the sack off him and tearing out a good chunk of his hair in doing so. He finally got his first good look at the room and felt his blood run cold.

It was completely black with the exception of a single small lamp sat on a desk in the corner. The room itself was small, one door, no windows, one desk and two chairs. The chair in front of him was empty but he could see a shadow moving along the wall, creeping out from behind him until it was leaning in the open door frame.

Megamind.

Everyone knew what Megamind looked like even if he wasn’t wearing his signature look and he most certainly wasn’t. There was no cape, no giant collar, no spikes.

Metrocity’s most renowned supervillain was standing casually in front of him wearing dark blue jeans and a black tee shirt. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands in his pockets and a more serious expressions than Trevor had ever seen on him on any of his broadcasts or the pictures the news managed to get of him.

He gulped, feeling sweat start to bead on his forehead. He’d been scared before but now? The uncertainty and confusion was just compounding on top of each other and creating a bone-deep terror.

He started to shake, and sweat, and squirm in his seat, testing the limits of his restraints and finding no give whatsoever and all the while, Megamind stood there, silently watching.

“You made a mistake.” Trevor stilled at the softly spoken words, eyes going wide and pulse picking up speed. “You broke the rules, Mr. Mitchell.”

Megamind started walking, strolling really, orbiting around him in a slow circle.

“I own the criminal underground of this city. Did you know that?” he continued, voice low and hard. “The public gets to see Metro Man and I and our cute little ‘fights’ but that’s all just dinner theatre. That’s just for fun, to pass the time and keep us entertained… My real job…”

Trevor felt a pair of hands land softly on his shoulders and jumped in his seat. They forced him back down with surprising strength and held him in place. He felt like he was going to be sick.

“My real job isn’t quite so cute.” His voice was much closer now, practically whispering into his ear. Trevor’s heart was thrashing in his chest. He couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped him if he tried. “I’ve been the Overlord of this city for well over a decade now. I’m firm but fair. The criminal under ground is thriving under my care and it’s mostly due to the set of clear and strict rules that everyone has agreed to abide by.” The hands on his shoulders squeezed to an uncomfortable pressure and he tried to get away from the pain of it but there was nowhere for him to go.

Finally, the hands retracted, and he could feel his spine decompressing, but he couldn’t stop the light tremors that permeated his body. Desperately he turned his head, trying to see the Villain as he walked out from behind him, as if being able to see him would somehow protect him from whatever this was.

“You broke the rules, though. You broke one of the most important rules. A top 3 rule.” Megamind continued, walking around until he ended up at the second chair in the room and took a seat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together.

There was no humor in the alien sitting in front of him. No smarmy grin. No raised brow or laugh lines around his eyes like the rest of the population was used to seeing on the tv.

Megaminds eyes bore into his own terrified ones and he said, slow and dark, “You put your hands on Miss Ritchi.”

Megaminds arm shot out and grabbed the edge of the seat right between Trevor’s legs and dragged him forward until their knees were touching. Trevor screamed through his gag and flinch at the sudden move.

“You made Miss Ritchi cry.”

Megamind slammed his hands down onto Trevor’s where they were gripping the arm rests of his chair.

Trevor looked on in terror as Megamind’s eyes narrowed and his grip on his hands tightened until he could feel his very bones crying out in pain.

Megamind leaned in close and whispered in a growl, “You made her afraid.”

Suddenly, Trevor screamed, the sound muffled through his gag, as Megamind took one of his fingers and bent it backward. The bone was sticking out at an odd angle, not protruding from the skin but very clearly broken. Tears were pouring from his eyes as he started to beg in earnest.

Megamind ignored his pleas and instead trailed his fingertips along and over to the next finger on his right hand, gripping it tightly.

“You hurt her.”

SNAP

Trevor screamed and begged and pleaded.

“You took away her sense of safety.”

SNAP

Trevor gave up on begging and simply screamed. He twisted and turned and fought but the ropes he was bound with were unyielding and he could not get away from Megamind’s tight grip on him. He was blinded from the tears and pain that radiated up his arm and seemed to strike every nerve.

“But most importantly… you pissed me off.”

Megamind raised his fist and slammed it down on Trevor’s thumb, the crunch of broken bones reverberated through the room, even as the chair itself broke under the pressure. Trevor collapsed in a heap on the floor, trembling and soaked in his own urine.

Megamind stood and watched him, eyes hard and without any sympathy. He let the man cry on the floor as he walked over to the desk and pulled out a small stack of cards.

“Here’s how this night is going to end.” He said loudly, to be heard over the others mans pathetic whimpering. “I’m not going to kill you, only because Miss Ritchi asked me not to. She’s a good person like that.” Megamind crouched down, putting himself right into the other man’s line of sight. “You will pack your things and you will leave. I don’t care where as long as it’s far away from here. Wherever you go, you will live out the rest of you pathetic, miserable existence alone.” Here, he reached out and grabbed the man by his hair, forcing his head back to look him in the eye. “I’ll be watching to make sure you do. I will be keeping very close tabs on you from now on. Not just for Miss Ritchi.”

He dropped his head, it bounced off the ground painfully, and stood, pulling up the stack of cards and Trevor’s eyes widened upon realizing what they actually were.

Megamind started reading off the names on each of the ID cards Trevor had collected over the years.

“This is for Anna. And Stacy, Morgan, Taylor, Vanessa.” There were more in the stack but Megamind simply threw the cards down by his face, where they spread out so they could both see all the faces of all the women he had raped over the years.

“But that’s later.” Megamind continued. “That’s after we’ve had some more time to… talk.” He smiled for the first time that night and Trevor found he wished he hadn’t; It was all sharp teeth and promises of pain. He felt his heart drop down into his stomach and bile raise up in his throat.

“Lucky for you, I like to talk.”

Trevor didn’t leave until well after the sun rose the next day but when he did, he never returned to Metrocity.

Chapter Text

It took a couple days for the news to reach her, and even longer than that for it to really sink in.

He was gone.

Roxanne found out a few days after the fact over casual office gossip with one of her friends that Trevor had left suddenly. No warning, no explanation, just gone. The man didn’t even clear out his desk before leaving town.

She was happy… or, she should be happy about that… right?

And it’s not like she wasn’t! No, she was definitely relieved that he was gone and she didn’t have to see him or work with him or anything like that.

He was gone and that was a good thing.

It’s just…

The nightmares didn’t go with him.

And even with the new locks and the key that would only work for her and the brainbots that still, over a week later, would see her home safely, she walked around her own apartment with a knife in her hand and her running shoes on.

She still wasn’t sleeping well (even with her brand-new night light). She still didn’t have much of an appetite. She found herself nervous and jumpy and some people at the office were starting to notice. Her supervisor even pulled her aside to have a ‘chat’ after she jumped a foot in the air when one of the co-anchors patted her on the shoulder. That was humiliating.

She could feel people looking at her funny, even if she couldn’t ever seem to catch them.

But she should be happy, now. The monster has been exorcised from her life and that will never not be a good thing. Never mind that her nerves were still shot and sometimes it felt like she was dancing on the last thread of her sanity.

Megamind followed through much faster than she ever thought he would and she was grateful.

She just couldn’t understand why, even with him gone, she was still left with all the anxiety and the night terrors and the fear.

She was actually relieved when she woke up with the bag over her head two weeks later. With Megamind there, she had no reason to be afraid. He and Minion would never hurt her.

So, she sat back in her (surprisingly comfy) chair and waited. They didn’t leave her waiting long but already this was the oddest kidnapping to date. Was she sitting on a couch? Why did it smell like Italian food?

She didn’t have much more time to think about it before the familiar footsteps of her captors made their way into the room.

“Miss Ritchi, we meet again.” Megamind began and the words were so casual and so typical, it was so nice that she actually felt the tension, that she didn’t even know was there, ease out of her frame and a light smirk dance across her lips.

“I believe you recall our deal…” his voice was much closer but there was a note of caution that was uncharacteristic of him. She could understand why though, she did make a bit of a fool of herself the last time she was here.

“I remember. I promised to do whatever you wanted for the next three kidnappings and I meant it. So, just name it.” She said, resigned to whatever silly, dumb or no doubt ridiculous thing he would have her do. Megamind was all about the show, after all.

“Minion! The bag!”

“Yes sir!” and she rolled her eyes. God, she could practically here minion giving a salute.

Suddenly the bag was pulled off her head and she squinted in the semi-bright room while her eyes adjusted… and then blinked. And blinked again.

No.

This… she could not be seeing what she thought she was seeing right now.

She wasn’t in the evil lair. She was in a living room? And she wasn’t sitting on a couch but actually on a lazy boy recliner. There was a big screen tv and the coffee table in front of her was filled with board games and a stack of movies. Megamind and Minion were standing in front of her… in their jammies?

Megamind had big fluffy slippers shaped like bats. Minion was wearing sushi pajamas.

Minion was wearing sushi pajamas?

Megamind was wearing sky blue jammies with rubber duckies on them and they were clearly a favorite set by how they were well worn and a little bit frayed on the edges.

For several minutes, no one said anything.

She stared at them. They stared at her.

Until, slowly, a smile broke out on her face. Her chin started quivering as she tried to hold it in but then she was laughing.

Loud and uncontrollable, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Oh my god! You guys look so cute!” she could barely get out between wheezing breaths.

She saw, through her tears, the boys giving each other a look. Megamind gave his head a little jerk in her direction and Minion wasted no time, leaping towards her and untying her hands.

Megamind sat down on the floor across from her, the coffee table between them, and gave her a serious look, pointing one gloved finger at her. “Whatever I want. You promised.”

Roxanne held up her hands, still giggling, but not trying to argue in any way. Instead, she copied him and slid down to the floor, leaning back against the chair, and poked at the stack of movies.

“So, what are we doing?”

Megamind grinned and gestured to the games stacked on the edge of the table. “I thought we would start with Scrabble and see how we feel after that. We have plenty of movies to choose from but I just grabbed a few to start. Which one should we play first? There’s Mean Girls, Galaxy Quest and Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” He held up all three movies and looked at her like it was the most important decision she could possibly make.

She grinned, still laughing a little at the absurdity of everything that was happening right now, but nevertheless reached out and pointed to Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Megamind smiled wide and jumped up to put in the DVD. “Minion! Get the mozzarella sticks!”

“Right away, sir!” and off he ran into what Roxanne could only assume was the kitchen.

“Oh, hey minion?” she called out. He stopped in the doorway and spun around in his tank, waiting. “Do you guys have any wine?” she asked, hopefully.

The fish grinned. “Red or white?”

“Red please!” he gave her an actual salute and ran off like the amazing fish he was.

Megamind plopped back down in front of her and pulled out the scrabble from the top of the stack of games and started setting it up, handing her the bag full of letters and letting her choose first.

Minion came back a few minutes later with a plate of cheese sticks and a cooler filled with ice, sodas and a single bottle of red wine with a stemless wine glass.

She sat there, sipping her drink and watching the boys get the movie going and the game set up and for the first time in a long time, she couldn’t stop smiling.

Chapter Text

Megamind had kidnapped her a second time, less than two weeks after their game night and this time they had stayed up until the early morning playing Pictionary and a four hour game of monopoly that ended with Minion crying and Roxanne flipping the board over.

It was a blast and she found herself actually looking forward to the next time she got snatched. Maybe she should start carrying around a spare set of PJ’s in her purse just in case?

The boys were a lot of fun. Minion was a fantastic cook and very witty when he wanted to be. Megamind was hilarious, whether it was on purpose or not, and they had so many arguments over movies and games that she was quickly starting to consider him a friend.

On a whim, she’d asked for his phone number halfway through Legally Blond. He didn’t even ask why, he just gave it to her, which she took as a good sign that maybe he though of her as a friend as well.

When she was there in their evil lair, surrounded by popcorn, board games and brainbots, she felt safe.

She knew there was only one more kidnapping before they went back to business as usual… but she was hoping they might be interested in permanently changing the parameters of their relationship.

She had a plan, and all she had to do was wait for the next time the invisible car pulled up beside her on the street.

Someone was watching her. She could feel it. She could feel their eyes on her like hands sliding down her back, but she couldn’t get away. She couldn’t move.

Her whole body was frozen, stuck to the bed like glue, every limb was a thousand pounds. She couldn’t even wiggle her toes. Her eyes could move, but that was it. It was dark but she knew someone was there. Just outside of her periphery. Why couldn’t she breathe? There’s no air! Her lungs were working in overdrive and someone was in her room and she could not move!

There! Right there in the corner was a shadow. He’s right there! She could see him, standing there, even if she couldn’t make out his face or the rest of him, he was there, and she was stuck.

Just like last time.

She couldn’t move, couldn’t scream, couldn’t fight and that asshole was just standing there, stalking her. There must have been something in her food. He must have put something in her food!

God, not again! She couldn’t be helpless again! How did he get in?!

Why couldn’t she move?!

Move!

MOVE!

Roxanne jerked up in her bed very suddenly, grabbing the hammer she kept under her pillow.

“Come out!” she screamed into the dark room. “I know you’re there, just come out!” this was not going to happen again. This time she would fight.

It was him. He was back and he must have broken in somehow because she recognized the smell of that cologne. It lingered and stuck to her clothes like glue right after it happened. She could feel the bile raising up the back of her throat at the scent and scrambled off her bed and into the center of the room. She spun around in circles in a panic, checking every dark corner and anywhere he could be hiding but found nothing.

Instead, she made a run for the bathroom, locking herself inside. She braced herself against the door, sliding down to the ground and clawing at her pocket trying to get a hold of her phone. She had started sleeping with her phone in her pocket every night and she was so glad for it now because she never would have remembered to grab it off the night stand before running in there.

Her hands were shaking too hard for her to unlock it at first. It took several tries, but she finally got it and called the only person she could think of.

Megamind answered his phone on the second ring. There were only so many people who had his number and would call him at, he looked at his watch, 2:37am.

And he recognized the custom ringtone instantly.

“Miss Ritchi?” he asked, voice rough from sleep. He had given her his phone number when she asked for it at their second of three game and movie nights he had planned. He didn’t bother questioning why she wanted it and the fast, ragged breathing he heard on the other line made him glad he didn’t.

“He’s here!” she whispered urgently, sounding panicked and close to either tears or hyperventilating. “He’s here! He’s back! He’s in my home, I saw him! I could smell his cologne! Help! Please, please help!”

Megamind was already up and at his computer, pulling up the tracking device he had implanted in Trevor before they parted ways. “I’m on my way. Are you safe?”

“I-I have a hammer and I locked myself in the bathroom.” She wheezed out, the terror in her voice making a shiver go down his spine.

“Good. Stay right there. I’m on my way but I have a few brainbots in your area and they’ll get there before me. They’ll find anyone that managed to break in, just stay were you are and I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you.” She whimpered in gratitude. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Megamind redirected the brainbots to Miss Ritchi’s apartment and waited for her to hang up before standing and stepping back.

Trevor didn’t know about the tracking device, Megamind made sure of that, so there was no way he could have removed it. It gave him vitals, gps location and even let him administer a little shock if Megamind felt like he needed one.

The man was in Costa Rica. He had been ever since he left Metrocity and his location hadn’t changed at all since. He couldn’t be in Miss Ritchi’s apartment and indeed the little dot on his screen said that the man was right where he had been for weeks now, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t be someone else.

He didn’t waste another minute, just grabbed his D-Gun and ran for his motorcycle.

Roxanne didn’t know how long it was before she heard a crash downstairs and then the unmistakable sound of brainbots flying around her home. She heard them flying around, from room to room, but one of them seemed to be stationed right outside the bathroom. She could see the blue light peaking in from under the door and it instantly made her heart rate slow to a more normal pace.

It was only a few minutes later that she heard footsteps creeping into her room. She clutched the hammer tighter in her hands. She was almost too afraid to breath and double checked that the lock on the door was still good.

“Miss Ritchi, it’s me.”

“Megamind!” she sagged in relief, dropping the hammer and jumping to her feet. She yanked the door open and threw herself into his arms. He held her tightly right back.

They stayed that way for a few seconds before Roxanne pulled back and asked, “Did you catch him? He was here, he was in here. I smelled him, I saw him, he was right there.” She pointed a shaky finger into the corner of her room, the other hand fisted tightly into Megaminds pajama top.

“Miss Ritchi, there is no one here.” He said gently. Roxanne scrunched her brow, her face crumbling in confusion.

“No, that’s… that’s not right. He was here. Someone was here. I’m not lying!”

“I believe you!” he said quickly, taking her by the shoulders and walking her backwards back into the bathroom. “I believe you.” He repeated more calmly. “The kids already did a sweep and found nothing so now I will do my own search. You will stay here and lock the door until I come back. If there is someone here, I will find them.”

Roxanne found herself nodding along and somewhere during his speech, she ended up with the D-Gun in her hands. He walked back out and waited for her to lock the door again before leaving. It took Roxanne a full minute before she realized there was a brainbot still in the room with her and she only noticed when the little guy started nudging her shoulder.

Absently, she found herself sitting on the side of her tub, staring at the door, D-Gun in one hand and petting the little blue bot with the other. She couldn’t take her eyes off the door. She could barely even blink. It felt like if she looked away for even a minute, when she looked back all her childhood monsters would be waiting for her.

She couldn’t say how long it was before Megamind came back, just that the gentle knock on the door made her jump where she sat.

“It’s me.”

Roxanne managed to open the door in a slightly more dignified manor, and looked up into his eyes, begging for answers.

“I looked everywhere, every room, every corner, I even did a scan of your entire place and we are the only living beings in here.” He never took his eyes off hers and his voice was so sincere.

She believed him. But what did that mean? Did he get away?

Then he answered as if he had read her mind. “The bots checked the locks when they got here and they weren’t broken or tampered with in any way, I even checked the street surveillance, and no one came or went from this building in the last hour… there was never anyone here.” He finished, crouching down so he was at eye level with her where she was sitting. Gently he took the gun from her hands and tucked it into the back of his pants.

Roxanne could feel the sting behind her eyes and a lump form in her throat. That couldn’t be right. She saw him. She saw someone.

“But… I could smell him… I swear I saw him standing in my room… Megamind, I’m not crazy.” She spoke slowly, voice cracking down the middle, pleading with her eyes for him to believe her. “I – I’m not making this up.”

“I know. I believe you.”

She looked at him in stunned silence. “How can you say that when you just told me there was no one there?”

For a second, he just looked at her, like he was trying to choose his words carefully. “Just because he wasn’t here, physically, doesn’t mean he wasn’t lurking in the shadows.” Megamind stood and, cautiously, offered her his hand.

She took it, wide eyed and still shaky from the adrenaline rush, and he led her downstairs and over to her couch, where they both plopped down. All the lights were on, she noted.

Every single one. There were no shadows for monsters to hide in.

She leaned her head over to rest on Megamind’s shoulder, even going a step farther and wrapping her arms around his bicep and holding on tight. Finally, she let the tears fall.

“…. Sometimes, I can still feel his hands on me… I hate it…” she admitted softly into the silent room.

Megamind just reached up and put his hand over where hers were fisted in his shirt.

They didn’t move from their spot for the rest of the night and Megamind was still there when she woke up in the morning.

She slept the rest of the night without a single nightmare, safe at his side.

Chapter Text

Roxanne was sitting back in the living room with the boys. They had made a habit out of sitting on the floor around the coffee table, putting on a movie for some background noise (This night’s selection was “Jurassic Park” followed by “Weekend at Bernie’s”) while they argued over whatever games they were playing.

They had just finished a game of Chutes and Ladders in which Minion had very clearly cheated and Roxanne was sitting back, a glass of her favorite wine in hand, as she watched the two boys fight about it.

Over the last few weeks, Roxanne noticed that Minion always cheated at games, it was never subtle, she and Megamind could always tell right away, but Megamind liked to let the game play out before calling the fish on his bullshit. It was more fun that way.

She couldn’t help but chuckle as their argument ended the same way it always did; Megamind ordering Minion to go to the kitchen and make them a snack to make up for his ‘treachery’, while she and Megamind cleaned up the table and picked out a new game.

For three weeks straight, every Saturday night, Megamind and Minion would pick her up (knock her out) and take her to the same comfy living room and they would play games and watch movies and eat whatever Minion put in front of them.

She loved their little game nights. She loved the comradery between the boys and how they both had their own cute habits between them and how their personalities played off each other. She loved that Minion made something new each week (This week it was lasagna and it was divine) and got so excited when they would compliment him on his cooking skills. Sometimes he’d spin in circle around his tank and the tiny frills on his back would light up in joy. She loved the way Megamind always got a little too into the games and more often than not would be yelling by the end, which was just fine because there was usually a 50/50 chance she would be too.

She’d never really been much of an extrovert, she only played one on tv because being a news personality was all about personality. Roxanne didn’t actually like going to clubs or bars or giant parties, she just kept getting pulled into them by her friends, old college roommates, colleagues… she’d been letting herself get dragged into all these places that she never really enjoyed because she felt like she had to, for her career or for her image, and look where that got her.

These game nights felt a lot more like getting back to her roots. Her old self coming back to the front. Quiet (relatively), intimate, comfortable, and genuinely fun. Saturday was now her favorite day of the week. She’d already decided after the second time that she didn’t want it to end.

So when Minion ran off to make them a big plate of nachos and Megamind started rooting through their mountain of games trying to decide on the next one they should play, she finished off the rest of her wine and steeled her nerves to say exactly that. There was still the chance that Megamind was only doing this out of pity, and he was really just counting down the days until he could start putting together some evil plots again, but Roxanne didn’t think so. This felt too real to just be misplaced sympathy.

“Miss Ritchi! What do you think: Settlers of Catan or Clue?” Megaminds eyes were shining in glee and he smiled real big as he held up both games for her to see.

Roxanne grinned back and took a small chance. “You know, you can just call me Roxanne… if you want.” She said softly but with confidence.

His reaction was subtle but immediate. His mouth dropped open just a little, his eyes somehow got the tiniest bit wider. His smile never wavered but for a few seconds, he wavered, and it seemed like he could be knocked over with a feather.

“Roxanne…” he said, softly, with an amount of reverence that she had never heard anyone speak her name in before. Almost like it was something to worship. He paused after he said it, like he was testing out how it felt on his lips. If she hadn’t been looking right at him, she might have missed the way he took a shuttering breath in and let it out slowly.

But she was looking, and she did see, and she felt her nerves settle just a little bit more at the action.

He didn’t say another word, just held up the games and waited for her to point at one. This was their own newly established tradition; Megamind would give her options and she would make the final decision. She decided on Settlers of Catan because she knew it was Megaminds favorite even if he never said so.

He dropped his gaze to the ground as he carelessly tossed Clue behind him and made his way back over to the table while Roxanne set her glass down and started putting away chutes and ladders to make room.

The mood of the room turned a little bit awkward, the movie still playing on low in the background.

Roxanne didn’t really know how to start the conversation. Several times in her head she started and stopped, nothing quite sounding right. Maybe it was best to just do what she always did before and jump in, feet first.

“Hey Megamind?” she started and saw out of the corner of her eye his hands tremble a little as he set up the board. “I know this is the last one… the end of our deal…” Roxanne tried to sound self-assured and bored, like she used to during their kidnappings, but it felt like she might have missed the mark by a few feet. She held back a wince and just decided to lean into the awkward atmosphere. Why not? What did she have to lose, anyway? “But we never did get to watch Galaxy Quest and my Saturdays are usually open anyway so I was thinking maybe next time you and Minion could come over to my place and we could have our movie and game night there.” She finished in a bit of a rush, going for nonchalant but settling for just being glad that she didn’t end up stuttering through her words. She looked up just in time to see Minion standing frozen in the kitchen doorway, mouth agape and giant plate of nachos in hand. Megamind had stopped moving entirely, looking at her in wide eyed wonder.

Time seemed to stand still. Every second felt like an eternity. Finally, thirty seconds and one century later, time started to move again. Megamind and minion, almost as one, turned to each other, grinned and quickly got back to their regularly scheduled programing.

Minion ran over and dropped the platter on the far side of the table, reaching out to help Megamind finish setting up, both talking over each other as they worked together seamlessly.

“Yes! Of course we could do that!”

“We certainly can’t end game nights without watching Galaxy Quest!”

“I could make enchiladas!”

“We’ll bring our jammies - ”

“Do you like chicken or pork more, ma’am?”

“And make root beer floats!”

“I’ll just make both!”

They went on like that for a while and Roxanne decided not to even try to hide her pleased grin. Why bother? If they could be this open with their excitement, she had no reason to hide her own.

Chapter Text

Roxanne was not panicking. She was not. That would be ridiculous. Just because Megamind and Minion were coming over to her house for the first time (Invited) and they were going to (possibly) sleep over and watch movies and play games all night? Pfft! Whatever. No big deal.

Did she buy a new flannel pajama set just for this? Yes.

Did she also buy seven new games while she was out just in case they didn’t like any of the three dozen she kept in the hallway closet? Yes.

Has she been calmly (frantically) running around the house trying to find all her extra pillows and blankets and periodically (Obsessively) checking that she had all the boys’ favorite drinks and snacks? Yes.

Did she kinda feel like she wanted to throw up a little bit? Also yes.

None of that means anything though because she was not panicking. She was… nervous, maybe. She had an appropriate amount of nerves for the present situation.

So the boys were a little late. That didn’t mean anything. It was five minutes, not a big deal. It certainly didn’t mean that they weren’t coming. It didn’t mean that they had just been humoring her after all and the game nights weren’t as important to them as they were to her.

They were only six minutes late! That didn’t mean that they forgot or that they still didn’t think of her as a friend and she was still just some woman they kidnap for their evil plots because they still think she’s dating Metro Man.

Roxanne plopped down in the couch, boneless, and stared helplessly up at the ceiling. Who was she kidding, she was a mess. The pathetic part, at least to her, was that she wasn’t even worried about them showing up. She was worried that they wouldn’t show up.

For the last month, Saturdays were the one night a week where she didn’t have to worry about nightmares or at the very least, was able to sleep at all. She didn’t want to admit how difficult it had been since it happened but she was alone right now and had no one to lie to but herself so what difference did it make.

She hated this apartment. She use to love it. It was her first adult apartment that she rented with her adult money. She picked out every chair, every decoration. Coming home use to be the best part of her day.

Now… She slept with a knife under mattress and a hammer in her bed. Every day when she came home from work she couldn’t take her shoes off until she had checked every room, couldn’t relax until she had locked every door and window twice.

It had been really bad the first few weeks after it happened. It got better after she told Megamind. Now, at least, she could sleep. They never talked about it but Megamind had stationed several brainbots outside her building. She could see their glow out her window, perched on the top of the next building over. Every night she’d lay in bed and look out her window, searching for that faint blue light one street over and it was always there. She’s always worried one night she’ll look and it’ll be gone. She thinks when that day comes is the day she’ll start looking for a new place.

But on Saturdays? For the last almost month, Saturdays were a reprieve. It became a habit for Megamind to drive her home in the early morning and he stayed until she got inside the building. Ever since she got his phone number, after that first embarrassing time she called him in a panic, he started checking in with her at night around when she got home because of course he knew her schedule.

If it had been anyone else, it would be creepy but for some reason with Megamind it just felt natural. Like he should know her schedule.

She looked at the clock again.

Eight minutes late.

Did she tell them the wrong time?

Roxanne jumped off the couch and ran for the kitchen where she left her phone, pulling up their texts.

Rox: Hey, I dont think I ever asked but are you guys allergic to anything?

MegaBrainMan: Minion can't eat oats and mushrooms are too evil for even I to handle.

Rox: Oats and mushrooms

Rox: I think I can handle that

Rox: lol

Rox: So I'll see you guys at 7 tonight?

MegaBrainMan: YES!!

MegaBrainMan: Minion is making tamales!!

Maybe they changed their mind at the last minute?

She looked around her apartment. There were stacks of games set out by the coffee table. There were blankets and pillows everywhere, ready for use. She had bowls of chips already out because the guys could really pack it away when they felt like it.

It was too early for her to be feeling like an idiot, right? She should wait at least half an hour before crumbling under the weight of her own insecurities and doubts. It was only ten after. Ergo, she had least another twenty minutes before she could let the humiliation creep in.

What would she do if they didn’t show? She was so hyped up and anxious that she was practically vibrating where she stood, she would never be able to get to sleep.

Maybe she cou –

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Roxanne whirled around so fast she might have felt her spine pop a few times. Out on the balcony stood Megamind and Minion! Megamind had a canvas bag in one hand and was waving excessively with the other, a large dopey grin on his face. Minion was grinning just as wide, waving with both his little fins, and in his robot gorilla hands was a massive pot that Roxanne already knew was filled to the brim with the best tamales she will ever eat.

Behind them sat the flying motorcycle with a side car attached.

“ROXANNE!!”

“Hello Ma’am!! Sorry we’re late! We had to drive slower after I almost dropped them!” Minion yelled through the door, gesturing to the giant pot in his hands.

“It’s true! Blame Minion!”

Roxanne laughed to herself as she rushed to the balcony doors. Both of them waited patiently for her to come unlock the balcony door, even though she knew for a fact that both of them could pick that lock faster than she could get to it in the first place.

The second she got the doors open, they burst inside, minion heading straight for the kitchen and Megamind already talking as he pulled out over a dozen movies from his bag.

“We brought options! Of course we have Galaxy Quest, but I also brought Office Space, Austin Powers, and The Matrix!” he laid them all out on the table as he mentioned them and turned to Roxanne, excitement dancing in his eyes, waiting for a decision.

Yeah, this felt pretty close to perfect. Maybe this apartment wasn’t so bad.

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Is he really asleep?”

“Oh yes.”

Roxanne and Megamind were both curled up on the couch, Roxanne with a cup of coffee and Megamind with a mug of hot coco. They were both looking at Minion, who had grabbed a large blanket, one of Roxannes favorite actually, covered in unicorns and rainbows, a left over from her childhood, wrapped it around his shoulders like a cape and went to stand in the corner.

Roxanne looked down to her watch. “It’s been 20 seconds. You’re telling me he fell asleep in 20 seconds?” she said with no small amount of awe in her voice.

Megamind just shook his head fondly. “I know. He was really excited for tonight and all the food and games, Normally it never takes him that long to fall asleep!”

Roxanne looked at him sideways for a second or two but in the end decided to let it go. Minion was sleeping soundly in his bowl, slowly swimming in circles not unlike a dog running in its sleep.

“Is he safe like that? The gorilla suit isn’t gonna tip over or anything?”

“No, no! It’s a safety feature. The suit locks in place when Minion falls asleep and it has an internal gyroscope so it’ll always stay upright when it’s not being operated.”

‘Ah, of course! Obviously!’ she thought with a fond roll of her eyes.

It was safe to say the night was a success. There were dirty dishes everywhere, popcorn and potato chips ground into the carpet and corn husks filled her sink. There were little game pieces and monopoly money all over the floor from where she had, maybe a little bit, lost her cool and flipped the board.

The place was an absolute mess and she couldn’t even imagine how long it’ll take to clean up tomorrow (Because no way was she gonna even try to clean tonight), but she hadn’t felt this content in a long time.

She set her coffee down on the table and grabbed the thick crocheted granny quilt from the back of the couch and pulled it around her, snuggling down a little deeper into the cushions. She both heard and felt Megamind moving around beside her, pulling his legs up onto the couch and sitting criss-cross with his cocoa in his lap.

She wasn’t looking directly at him, but she could feel the weight of his eyes on her.

“Roxanne?” he said softly, and she barely had to turn her head to look at him. His eyes were trained on hers.

For the first time she could remember, his face was completely neutral. It was still weird, even after all this time, to see him out of his cape and collar. He still had the collar of his night shirt popped but the little white sheep instead of the spikes didn’t exactly have the same effect. He still wore gloves, was still fully covered just like always, but he was softer now. Maybe he always was?

She got lost a little, looking at him. He ducked his head a bit, catching her eye again and regaining her attention.

“… How are you?” He said, just above a whisper, big saucer eyes penetrating and sincere.

How was she supposed to answer that? She didn’t want to lie. Should she lie? It would be easier, for sure.

“I…” she hesitated, losing her voice for a second. How was she? She should just say she’s fine, right? That’s what people want to hear when they ask that question. They never want to hear the real answer.

She gazed right back at him, and he never looked away. He didn’t try to rush her and he didn’t seem like he was expecting any certain type of answer. All she really saw was curiosity.

She made a decision.

“I’m… not great, I guess.” She said quietly, taking a shaky breath and pulling her knees up to her chest. “Some days are better than others, and it’s better than it was at first but…. It just… it feels like he stole something from me, you know? Besides the obvious. Like a piece of me is missing or broken but I don’t know what it is or how to fix it.”

Megamind was quiet for a second, “He stole your peace of mind.” And it wasn’t a question. He said it with an amount of certainty, like he knew.

Roxanne huffed out a sharp laugh full of disdain and devastation, almost feeling sick to her stomach.

“…. He stole my peace of mind.” She repeated under her breath.

That felt, maybe a little too big to be thinking about right now, but she kept it in the back of her mind and decided to pull that thought out and look at it later.

“… Yeah… So, not great. Getting there, maybe… I’m thinking about possibly going to therapy?” she didn’t mean to finish that as a question but she was still unsure herself.

Megamind just nodded in agreement. “Therapy could help, but only if you’re willing to let it.” He sounded like he’d said that before and Roxanne had a hard time picturing in what situation he would have needed to, but it still struck a chord in her.

Only if she’s willing to let it…

“I’m not sure yet, still just thinking about it.” And why she felt the need to justify that thought, she did not know, but Megamind just nodded as he set down his own mug, like that was a completely reasonable thing to say.

It was quiet for a while, but not uncomfortable. The radio was tuned into a soft jazz station and the volume was on low. The lights were dim enough that Roxanne almost felt ready to fall asleep where she was sitting.

She looked at Megamind out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning back on the couch, more serene then she had ever seen him. He was still sitting criss-cross under his own blanket but he had turned so they were both facing the dark TV screen.

His hand was resting on the cushion between them.

Without thinking and still feeling a little more loose then she thought from the bottle of wine she’d had over the course of the night, she reached out and laced her fingers with his, palm to palm.

Megaminds eyes popped open wide in shock and for a moment, Roxanne thought she had made a grievous error.

They never touched. She knew this. She could literally count the number of times they had physically touched each other on one hand. What was she thinking?

She waited, holding her breath, her stomach tied up in knots, and was just about to apologize and pull her hand back when, ever so slowly, his fingers curled around hers. They were slightly longer, and just a bit more thin than a humans, but they fit just perfectly between hers.

She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.

When she looked back up to his face, he was staring straight back at her with that same wide-eyed look of amazement as before.

“I never thanked you.” She whispered into the quiet room, seeing the moment he heard her and his brows went up in what could only be surprise.

“Thank you, Megamind… I wouldn’t be doing even a quarter as well as I am if it weren’t for you.” She had to swallow down the lump in her throat because this was important. He needed to know how grateful she was and she refused to cry right now. “Thank you for believing me, and making me feel safe…. You’re a really good person, Megamind.” She finished, holding his hand tight. She didn’t think his eyes could get any wider, he almost looked like he was about to cry and it broke her heart a little bit. Has no one ever told him that before? He has to know he’s a good person, right? She never would have invited him into her home if he wasn’t.

She waited for him to say something back, saw him swallow a few times and thought maybe he had a lump in his throat too, but in the end all he did was give her a tight smile and squeeze her hand again. They both ignored the dampness in the corners of his eyes.

He didn’t try to let go of her hand but she had a feeling that if she gave even the tiniest indication that she wanted him to, he would.

She fell asleep right there on the couch, still holding his hand.

Chapter Text

Megamind couldn’t take his eyes off it. The way her hand just curved into his. He wished he wasn’t wearing his gloves so he could feel her warmth on him directly, but probably she never would have taken his hand in the first place if he hadn’t been. He was afraid to move and dislodge her hand, wonder of wonders that she hadn’t let go in her sleep. Instead, he sat in the dark, stiff as a board, staring at their hands still clasped together in an effort not to stare at her face like a creep watching her sleep.

The fact that he was sat on Miss Ritchi’s couch at all was still a marvel. On Roxanne’s couch.

He’s allowed to call her that now. She told him to. She said he could.

The fact that she had invited him. And Minion! That she even seemed excited they were there. He didn’t know what to think.

She had offered to do ‘whatever he wanted’ and what he wanted was game nights. Movies and food and games.

It was pathetic, he knew it was, he was under no delusions but he thought maybe she wouldn’t mind humoring him since it wasn’t a public display. Roxanne was good like that and he would have never ask her to debase herself in public anyway.

He thought last week would be the last time this ever happened. He was prepared for it, for everything to go back to how it was.

He never would have thought that Roxanne would turn the tables on him and invite them over to hers so they could continue. If he had had one thousand chances to guess how last week’s game night would have ended, he never would have gotten close to the correct answer.

Roxanne shifted beside him and he tensed, ready to let go and jump away if he needed to but all she did was let out a soft groan and clutch his hand a little tighter in hers before settling.

His heart was racing faster than it ever had, he could feel it pounding in his torso. Surely, this would never happen again.

This must be a one-time thing. Roxanne simply wanted to express her gratitude and humans were so casual with their touches. Not with him, of course, but in general. Roxanne has always been different from anyone else he knew and clearly this didn’t mean the same thing in human culture as it did in his, but that knowledge didn’t make his body react any differently.

He took in a deep, shuttering breath, trying again to calm his racing heart. He never thought he would get to do something like this. To be trusted in this way.

What would happen now? Is this the last time? Or will this become a weekly thing in a more permanent way? Not the hand holding, that was obviously never going to happen again. The game nights, though. He was never good at reading and understanding social cues and norms. What was the protocol in this situation?! Minion might know, he was better at that kind of thing. He would just have to wait for the fish to wake up.

The feeling of her hand in his was all consuming and he knew he would never get to sleep. He wouldn’t dare move from this spot.

She said he was a good person.

…

She said he was good…

…

…

She thinks he’s a person….

Chapter Text

Roxanne woke up slowly, awareness coming back to her one piece at a time.

Everything was soft and warm and she didn’t really want to get up so she didn’t. Truly good and restful sleep had been hard to come by recently and she didn’t want to waste a second of it.

It wasn’t until she instinctively started to stretch a little and she flexed her hand that was still being held so gently by someone else that the memories of the night before came back to her and she smiled.

Leisurely, she opened her eyes to the sight of Megamind looking down at her with wide eyes of his own. He was completely still, like he was waiting for something, but she figured he was just waiting for her to wake up.

She stretched out the rest of her body and her unoccupied arm, groaning at the delightful ache in her muscles.

She tried to say something along the lines of ‘Good morning’ but it came out sounding much closer to, “G’d mernin.”

“Good morning.” Megamind replied, quiet and almost breathless.

Roxanne slumped gracelessly back onto the couch, sighed, and rolled her neck around trying to work out a few kinks. Sleeping on the couch had not been part of the plan and she was sure she was going to pay for it later but for now? This was actually a rather lovely way to wake up.

Looking around, she spoke through a big yawn, “Where’s Mini?”

“H-he,” Megamind stopped, swallowed, and continued in a much more sure voice, “He went to the store. He wanted to make breakfast but your cabinets are unusually bare.” He finished in a statement but Roxanne could hear the question underneath and gave a little huff of a laugh.

“Yeah, I’m not exactly a homemaker. I usually order out or just get easy frozen stuff. I might have some cereal but I don’t know if I would trust the milk in the fridge right now.”

Megamind nodded like that made perfect sense, and not the embarrassing failure at adulthood that Roxanne always felt it was.

“Well, He should be back any minute. He left a while ago now. He wanted to know if you preferred waffles or pancakes.” He watched her from the corner of his narrowed eyes and immediately it felt like this was a test.

She squinted right back at him, she had to play this carefully.

“Clearly,” she started, cautiously, “Waffles are the superior breakfast food.”

Megamind cheered, “YES! Exactly! Thank you!! Can you believe Minion actually thinks Pancakes are better?!” he sounded so appalled that Roxanne had a hard time keeping a straight face.

“Blasphemy.”

“It is.”

All Roxanne could do was giggle and grin at his antics. The man was always so expressive, when they first met she had really thought it was just a character he put on for the camera. It only took a couple kidnapping to realize this was just his personality. He just felt things to a more extreme degree than humans, she supposed, and had no long term way of holding that back. She couldn’t understand how anyone could think this man was evil when he wore his heart on his sleeve the way he did.

Until these game nights they started having, it hadn’t even occurred to her that she might be the exception to the rule and not the other way around.

She looked down, seeing their hands still clasped together and laying on top of the blankets.

He’d held her hand the whole night.

The thought made her feel warm and happy in a way she wasn’t fully ready to examine so early in the morning. Instead, she squeezed his hand one last time and let go, throwing the blankets off and rising from the couch with a groan. She could feel her back popping as she stretched from side to side.

“If Mini is gonna make waffles for breakfast, I’m going to run up and take a quick shower bef-.” She stopped mid-sentence, turning in a circle in the middle of the room. “Hang on.” She spun again, faster this time, looking at the floor, the kitchen, the coffee table. “What the fuck?”

Roxanne looked at Megamind with a furrowed brow, hands raised in a helplessly confused manner, almost ready to believe she was hallucinating.

“Minion cleaned.” He said simply, as if that was all the explanation needed.

And, no, it absolutely was not. “Did he vacuum?!” she pointed to the obvious lines on the carpet, yelling incredulously. “How did I sleep through a vacuum?!”

“Oh! That was Rosie!” Megamind turned with a wide grin, pointing up into the corner where a small, oddly flat headed, brainbot was hovering. She turned in circles and trilled happily at the attention. “She is also a Roomba, but better because I made her.”

The place was spotless. There was not even a crumb in sight. Everything was put away and she could see from where she stood that there weren’t even any dishes in the sink.

This was too much. It was too early and she needed a shower and an aspirin.

Maybe simply saying ‘Minion cleaned’ was enough. What else was there to say?

“I… I’m gonna,” she jerked a thumb behind her towards the stairs. “I’ll be right back.” And she made her way upstairs, shaking her head, not sure if she should laugh or not.

Well, they left without making plans for the next week.

They had a lovely breakfast where Minion made gorgeous, fluffy waffles with strawberries and whipped crème and she’d only spent about twenty minutes upstairs showering and getting dressed, but damn, if Minion wasn’t an over achiever, she didn’t know anyone who was. By the time she came back down, he was already putting the second waffle on a plate.

They talked, they joked, Roxanne mentioned how impressed she was with how clean the apartment was. It was a lovely morning.

And then they left.

And Roxanne had forgotten to ask them if they wanted to come back the next week and now it was Wednesday and pretty soon it would be Friday and then it would be too late to ask at all.

It’s just that she didn’t know what to do with herself for the rest of Sunday. She tried to get some work done but her concentration wasn’t cutting it. She’d actually been struggling at work for a while. Her mind was always elsewhere and it was hard to focus.

Then on Monday, in the middle of her work day, she realized she hadn’t gotten anything done in hours because she just kept looking at her phone, agonizing about whether she should text and ask or if she should wait for Megamind to contact her because what if he didn’t forget, and in fact just didn’t want to come back? Ugh! She hated how much she was second guessing herself lately! She had never been like this before…. Before.

Tuesday morning was spent in much the same way as the day before, at which point Roxanne could no longer lie to herself and had to admit that there might be a bigger problem and she really should look more deeply into therapy.

Tuesday afternoon was spent hiding in the bathroom at work trying to talk herself down from a panic attack. She was not fully successful.

Tuesday early evening saw her sitting in her boss’s office, requesting a short sabbatical from work due to ‘personal health reasons’, that he approved almost before Roxanne could finish asking.

So, clearly, she had been doing a great job at hiding her anxiety at work. So great, in fact, that her boss decided to gently remind her that therapy was fully covered under their insurance plan and handed her a list of doctors’ offices to choose from. That he just happened to have laying around.

So that was fun.

That night she made some calls, did some research (which was one of her favorite things to do anyway) and now, here she was, sitting in Dr. Mandi Patel’s office lobby, waiting for her turn to go in.

The last person left a few minutes ago and Roxanne was going to be called back any minute, according to the receptionist. She’d spent the last twenty minutes pretending to admire the generic artwork on the walls and the impressively large monstera in the corner. When that got old, she started picking at a loose thread on her shirt but had to stop when the seam started to come undone so then she started biting her nails, a habit she had thought she’d broken years ago and of course that was how Dr. Mandi found her, with her finger stuck in her mouth like a toddler.

“Miss Ritchi?” Dr. Mandi said from the doorway, smiling kindly at her. “I’m ready for you.”

Roxanne quickly pulled her hand away from her mouth and tried to discreetly wipe her fingers off on her pants. She stopped and took a pump of hand sanitizer from the bottle at the receptionist’s desk before following the older woman back.

Dr. Mandi had some excellent reviews and testimonials from former patients. She’d won several awards for her work and had multiple degrees in mental health and, honestly, one of the main reasons Roxanne picked her was that she saw a picture of the Doctor and thought she had kind eyes.

When she called in that morning, she didn’t think she’d be able to book an appointment so soon, and secretly she was kind of hoping for something a little farther out so she could psych herself up for it, but as luck would have it someone else just cancelled their appointment for the very same day.

Yay.

“Um, I just wanted to thank you for being able to see me so soon.”

“It was very lucky you called when you did, I think.”

“Yeah. Very lucky.” They made their way into the office and Roxanne took a second to look around. It was all light tones and soft lighting. The doctors chair was a very plain, pale green armchair but the couch was big and soft looking. Faux leather in a dark brown and two pillows on each side. A small area rug made the room feel cozy. It almost felt like they were sitting in someone’s living room.

Roxanne took a seat on the couch, in the farthest corner, twisting her fingers around themselves nervously.

“Now, Roxanne, what brings you in today?” Dr. Mandi pulled a notebook into her lap and turned to a blank page, giving Roxanne a small, gentle smile.

What brought her in… where to even start.

She looked down, glaring at her nervous shaking hands, and took a deep breath. She had to talk, she wanted to talk but also no she didn’t. It’s not like there was any point in lying and the best place to start was usually at the beginning…

She started slowly, words fighting their way out of her, but it got a little easier as she went on.

“About two months ago… I was raped by a co-worker… I went out with some friends, some work friends, and one minute I was in the club and the next minute I was on my back in a dirty van and he was… on top of me. I don’t know what he slipped me but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t fight, I couldn’t even scream. Then when he was done, he stole my ID and drove me home, like we were on some twisted date. Let himself into my apartment and everything. My ‘friends’ never even questioned when I didn’t come back to the club. I don’t think they know what happened but they never even tried to find me, or text me or see if I was okay. I never told anyone except for these two… friends of mine, not from work, and they’ve been great but I think I’m relying to much on them now. And I’m scared all the time. Even when nothing is happening. Even in broad daylight. It’s like there’s a monster in every shadow and all I can see are shadows. And I’ve never been an anxious person before but now I - ”

Roxanne cut herself off, going quiet. Her hands were shaking so bad now and somehow she found herself out of breath. It felt like there was a lead weight in her stomach. It was the first time she had said all of that out loud.

Slowly, she looked back up at the doctor. The older woman was looking at her with sympathy.

“You’ve had a lot going on in the last few months.” It almost sounded like a question, but it was said more like a statement. Regardless, Roxanne nodded in agreement. “Let’s talk about that.” Dr. Mandi finished softly.

~*~

And that was how Roxanne got a brand new medication to help her manage her anxiety.

Before the end of the day, in fact.

Chapter Text

They were not invited back.

He knew they wouldn’t be, of course Roxanne wouldn’t invite them back, but there was still something that stung about it. Minion never mentioned it (even though he noticed) and Megamind would never admit it, but he walked around that entire week with his phone glued to his hand, just hoping she would text him.

They’d been meeting every week for a month, and it was nice. It almost felt like having a friend. He was going to miss it.

It had been thirteen days now, not that he was counting, and he knew it wasn’t going to happen. The last he’d heard from her was that she took a long leave from work and started going to therapy.

He was happy for her but at the same time, it was just more confirmation that she wouldn’t be looking to him for anything anymore. Part of him, a big part actually, didn’t understand why she started coming to him instead of her boyfriend. He thought maybe it was because the man hadn’t been there when she really needed him and she was still mad. He certainly wouldn’t blame her for that. He didn’t ask because it didn’t seem like something she wanted to talk about and, frankly, the less he had to talk about the city’s resident ‘Hero’ the better, in his opinion.

Now, here we was, in evil lair, spinning around in his favorite chair, pretending like he wasn’t still watching his cell where it sat on his desk. He spun his phone around on the desktop, looking up at all the screens, flicking his eyes from to the other. Some were focused on surveillance around the city just keeping an eye on things. Most of them were tuned into his satellites. He’d launched a few of his own over the years but it was easier to just piggyback a signal off satellites that were already there, and government agencies were so cocky about their satellites that it was child’s play to hack in and use them how he pleased.

He'd never truly given up trying to find his people. If he had made it off his dying world minutes before it was destroyed, wasn’t it reasonable to think that others might have as well? He couldn’t be the only one. The last of his species. He just had to keep searching and one day, maybe, he would find them. For years, he’d been sending out messages, hoping any other survivors would hear and come get him. Assuming they actually wanted him.

(It was something he only ever thought about when he was at his lowest. That they might already know where he was, they might have heard all his increasingly desperate pleas, and decided he wasn’t worth their time.)

So far, he had never gotten an answer, but that just meant he hadn’t looked far enough yet.

He shook his head, forcibly dragging himself out of his self-pitying trance and trying to find some motivation to get back to business as usual. He needed an evil plot! It had been far too long since he and his nemesis had entertained the city with their antics, and he was just sitting here feeling sorry for himself. Shameful.

He’d thought about just doing the one they had cancelled months ago, but it felt wrong. It would have been incredible though. There were holograms, horses, hula-hoops and possibly even glitter, but no. That plan was scrapped, it was tainted now.

He needed something new. Something fresh!

(Some excuse to see Miss Ritchi again)

It’s just… difficult for some reason. He’d been trying for several days now to come up with something, but it was like the inspiration was gone. Normally, it wasn’t this hard. At one point he had so many ideas for evil plots that he wrote them all down and chose them at random from a hat.

Where was that hat?

No, he didn’t need the hat, he had no ideas to put in it anyway!

He slammed his head down on the desk and groaned. He felt like a hamster on a wheel. Just running and going nowhere. He might have even started wallowing back on the self-pity train if his phone hadn’t started vibrating for the first time in over a week.

• Hey Megamind! I know we didn’t talk about it last time but I was wondering if you guys would be interested in –

No, that sounded stupid. She couldn’t send that.

• Good morning! How would you guys like to come over again on Saturday for another game night? Or I could go over to yours?

That was worse. How was that even worse?

• Hello! I was wondering if –

“Enough with the exclamation points! It’s too much! Just stop it!” Roxanne groaned and flopped backwards onto her bed. It had been over a week since their last game night at her place. Saturday came and went, and she still hasn’t gotten up the guts to ask them back. Though, not for lack of trying.

Honestly, maybe she should just wait for them to kidnap her again. It was bound to happen sometime, right? It’s not like Megamind gave up being evil.

…

… wait.

It has been a very long time. Actually, this is the longest stretch of time he’s ever gone without some ridiculous scheme to take over the city. Was he just giving Roxanne some space or was it something more?

She grabbed her phone.

Hey, so I noticed you haven’t tried to take over the city recently.

What’s going on there?

She sent both messages back to back before she could talk herself out of it then threw her phone down like it burned.

She really was doing better. She’d being going to see her therapist twice a week for almost two weeks now and her anti-anxiety meds were really helping. At least she thought they were. She felt more calm in general so that’s a win.

She felt her phone vibrate by her legs and snatched it back up.

True evil genius takes time, my dear  >:)

Roxanne snorted and rolled her eyes.

Have you ever considered retiring from villainy? Hanging up the cape, so to speak?

She waited for a reply. And waited. She saw the little dots in the corner so she knew he was writing something but whatever it was never got sent. It was several minutes before they stopped all together.

Huh.

Don’t take this the wrong way…

She hesitated. This could go in several directions and it was hard to predict which road it would take.

But you’re not actually evil.

This time, the response was almost instant.

:O
How dare you!
I am the most evil!!!
I see no reason for you to attack me like this!!
Maybe you’re the evil one! >:(

Okay, she knew him well enough at least to know that if he was truly mad, he wouldn’t be using cute little emoji’s.

-_-*
Come on.
No you’re not.

Am too!

Megamind, you know I’m a journalist, right?

Yes??

So you know how research is basically 80% of my job?

… yes???

Megamind!!
Do you honestly think I haven’t looked up the statistics of all your fights? All your convictions? You are, essentially, my main job.

I have no idea what you’re implying.

Oh

Okay

Wait

No no!! you asked for this!!!
You have 68 criminal convictions currently. Of those, 55 are for major property damage.
7 are for theft, 5 are for grand theft auto, and 1 was for animal cruelty which I looked more into and found out that you brought a cow onto the top floor of the court building and they had to get a crane to get it down because, apparently, cows can’t go down stairs
Did you know that?
That cows can’t go down stairs?
Did you know that before you brought that cow up there?? I’m genuinely curious.

…

… no I did not.

You average about 2 “Evil plots” per month

The quotes were unnecessary.

You’ve been doing this for going on 7 years now but lets round down to 6 just for the sake of it.
You’ve been kidnapping me exclusively for the last 5 years.
2 ““Evil plots”” per year for 6 years is 144, give or take.

The double quotation marks is just mean!!

During that time you have caused roughly 3.4 BILLION in property damage.
Mostly to buildings that should have been condemned anyway and have since been built back up into affordable housing.
Wanna know how many people you’ve hurt?

No

Directly, none.
Indirectly, 2.
Do you want to know how many people Metro Man has hurt in that same amount of time?

…

… yes.

Directly, 37.
Indirectly, 23,042.

… you can’t be serious.

Wayne has a bad habit of throwing punches without looking first. He’s responsible for a lot of injuries not just in your own fights but in all the other battles he gets into.

Roxanne stopped, waiting a few seconds to see if he would reply.

You seem to have a very negative opinion of your boyfriend.

Huh… was that deflection? Possibly. This would be a good opportunity to come clean, though. It was different before, when there was the possibility that Megamind would stop kidnapping her if he knew that she and Wayne were just friends (Something she pointedly did not look to deeply at when she first realized it) but now she had his phone number. She could bother him whenever she wanted.

He's not my boyfriend.

…

What?
Did you break up??

No
He was never my boyfriend.

Oh, wow. Why was her heart beating so fast?

She lay there on her bed, anxiously staring at those three little dots appear and disappear.

Eventually, they stopped, but only because he was CALLING HER.

He is currently calling her. She stared at her phone as it buzzed in her hand. She really didn’t think he was going to call her, but okay.

Okay, game time.

“Hel- ”

“What do you mean he was never your boyfriend?!”

She paused, letting him finish. “Hello.”

“Roxanne!!”

“I mean exactly what I said. He was never my boyfriend.”

“Like, never ever?”

“Not even a little bit.”

“Surely you’re joking.”

“I joke you not, and don’t call me Shirley.”

“DO NOT TRY TO DISTRACT ME WITH HILLARIOUS MOVIE REFERENCES!”

Roxanne laughed. It was all she could do in this ridiculous situation.

“Megamind, it’s okay!”

“It is not!! I have been lied to!! I have been deceived!! For years!!!”

“Okay, that’s a little dramatic. If you’ll recall, neither one of us ever actually said we were dating.”

“That is not possible!”

“It absolutely is.”

“Then why does the whole city think you’re dating?!”

“Mostly because you kept kidnapping me.”

“………….. oh.”

Roxanne chuckled again, rolling over onto her stomach and relaxing her head down onto her arm. “Yeah. That’s not how it started but that is how it got as big as it is. It all started because of that one article. With the picture? You remember?”

Roxanne certainly remembered. It was five years and some change ago. Right after one of their cute little battles, and she was still trying to make a name for herself. She’d tried to run after Metro Man after the fight and get an exclusive but tripped over some rubble and, of course, there Wayne was, all smiles and showy concern on his face as he caught her. Another news studio snapped a few pictures, all of which came out looking much more romantic than they actually were. After that there was some speculation, sure, but when Megamind kidnapped her for his next plot, the rest was history.

“I – I do. That article was the reason –“ he cut himself off but he didn’t really need to finish the sentence.

“Yeah. Exactly. And as someone who works in the industry, I can tell you that the more you try to deny something, the more people believe it to be true. So, Wayne and I talked and we decided to just let it happen.  We’re friends, but nothing more. Never were, never will be.” She finished calmly.

There was silence on the other end of the line. She could picture in her head Megamind, in the lair, stunned speechless by this revelation and couldn’t deny that it was hard to not giggle like a teenager. She was already laying in bed, kicking her feet and twirling her hair around her finger like a fifteen year old girl talking to her crush.

“Why… why not tell me? I would have stopped abducting you if I had known.” Megamind asked. He sounded so genuinely confused and uncharacteristically hesitant, what could Roxanne do but tell the truth?

“I – I mean, at first, it was because I thought it would be good for my career. I’d always wanted to be a journalist and up until that point, I was stuck at a desk doing research for other people and I thought, hey, this might get my face out there at least.” She stopped, swallowing to try and alleviate her dry throat. Why did telling the truth make her feel so vulnerable? “And then, it was because I just didn’t want to. I liked being part of your plots. They were fun and you guys never did anything to make me uncomfortable or scared… that’s what I’m trying to tell you, Megamind. If you were truly evil, you wouldn’t care about my comfort. You wouldn’t care about if I was safe or whether or not I got hurt, but instead you take precautions to make sure I’m always okay. Don’t think I never noticed!” she said firmly.

It was true. There had been times in the past where she got hurt and the next time she found herself tied up in the chair, things would be different. The time a couple of storage shelves almost fell on her? The next time and every single time after that she was only ever placed in the center of the room where nothing could hurt her. The time in the chemistry lab, when she tried to escape and they both realized that it was a bad idea for her to be tied TO the chair? She has never found herself to be tied to anything ever again, just restrained and placed in the chair instead.

Not to mention she had a very strong suspicion that he planned his plots around her period because of the bad cramps she usually gets. It only happened once, that he took her on the worst day of her cycle, but it was real suspicious that it never happened a second time. In over five years? Yeah, nah. She didn’t know if she wanted that confirmed because how the fuck did he know what her cycle looked like, but regardless… it was kind of sweet.

“Bad people don’t care about things like that. An evil man wouldn’t cancel his evil plots because his kidnappee was sick or… or upset.” She didn’t know how her voice got so soft near the end there.

Her only answer was silence and for a second she worried he might have hung up. That maybe she was pushing too hard. She did that sometimes.

She pulled the phone away from her face and saw the call was still connected so she decided to let it rest for now. She didn’t want to scare him off. For all his bravado in front of a camera, Megamind was surprisingly skittish in private.

“Um, also,” she began, biting her lip trying not to wince. “I, uh, I know we didn’t talk about it the last time you guys were here, but I was wondering if you might like to make our Saturday movie/game/food nights a regular thing?” Roxanne finished hopefully, and with any luck she wasn’t coming off too needy. Lord knows that wasn’t a good look on her.

The silence was deafening.

She didn’t even think Megamind was breathing.

Oh god, abort. Abort! This was a mistake! This was definitely a big mist-

“Really?” Megamind said, the surprise clear in his voice.

Oh.

Oh!

“Yeah! You’ve – I, um, it’s just, I missed you guys last week. Saturdays are my favorite and, if you want to, no pressure or anything, but I was thinking we could make it a regular thing. Every Saturday. Movies, games, food, food coma.”

She didn’t really know what she would do if he said no. She didn’t plan that far ahead. Hell, she didn’t even plan this far ahead.

“Your place or mine?”

Ha!

“Both? We could switch every week or so but also I don’t mind hosting.”

“What time?”

“Let’s say 5pm?”

“Deal!”

Chapter Text

Roxanne was doing better. For real, this time.

She’s been on leave and going to therapy for over a month now, with two more weeks off and Dr. Mandi said that by the time she goes back to work, they’ll knock it down to once a week.

Her nightmares were slowly going away. She doesn’t sleep with the hammer anymore (But she did buy a bat and put it under her bed for emergencies. Dr. Mandi said that was more reasonable).

The brainbots are still around.

She still kind of loves that.

She leaves the curtains in her room cracked open just enough that the light from them shines in, like her own personal night light. It was late on a Friday night and she was laying in bed, looking out the little gap in her curtains. Two twinkling blue lights were hovering on top the building right across the street, moving back and forth like a couple of soldiers on guard duty.

She giggled a little bit to herself, imagining them marching on their long thin appendages, helmets on their heads and old-fashioned rifles slung over their shoulders.

It was the silliness of that image that lulled her to sleep.

The feeling of a strong, warm arm wrapped around her waist was what woke her up. It was thin, but firm, dense. Warm fingers spread out over her stomach and slowly crept up under her tank top. They didn’t go too far, just resting over her abdomen, holding her close to the toned chest at her back.

Another arm snaked it’s way under her head and across her chest to embrace her even more firmly. His whole body was lined up with hers. His warm breath ghosted across her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

“Miss Ritchi.”

The gentle sound of his voice made her smile but she didn’t want to open her eyes just yet. “I told you to call me Roxanne.” She whispered.

She felt his chest vibrate with a chuckle as he leaned down and kissed her gently behind her ear.

“Roxanne.”

She shuttered, groaning lightly and bending her head to the side to give him more room. He greedily accepted her offer, slowly making his way down her neck as his hands finally started moving.

The arm going across her chest and hand resting lightly on her shoulder made it’s way down her sternum and under her tank top to cup her breast, his thumb making a point to glide off one pebbled nipple in reverence.

The other one slowly, so very slowly, inched it’s way down from her stomach to her sleep pants, stopping at waist band just long enough for her to nod her head, before continuing downward.

His lips were leaving little trails all over her neck and back up to her chin and god she just wanted him to kiss her, but he kept pulling away in a teasing manner. His lips finally found hers at the same moment his agile fingers found her clit.

She moaned deeply as he started rubbing little circles around her nub. He took advantage and, finally, crashed his lips to hers, diving his tongue deep into her mouth, mirroring what his fingers might be doing soon.

She was so wet, they could hear it with every little move of his hand. She couldn’t stop moaning but he didn’t seem to mind the noise. The hand on her chest pinched her nipple lightly, not wanting to be forgotten.

She had to break away from the kiss so she could breathe, panting into his mouth, sharing each other’s breath. God, he was everywhere, so warm and firm. His mouth never left her, his whole body was at her back, she was surrounded by his arms and his hands, god his hands!

He was all over and all around and she just wanted him to be inside. She needed him to be inside.

“Megamind!”

With a gasp, Roxanne shot up in bed, sweating and panting. Her eyes were wide as she looked around her still dark room and then her bed.

She was alone.

She swallowed, heart pounding in her chest, and trying to get her breathing back under control.

She just… it was…

She shifted and flinched from the wet feeling in her panties, she had soaked right through them. She hadn’t had a wet dream in years.

That was… intense.

It was a dream. It felt so real though. She could practically still feel his hands on her, his lips, his fingers on her –

Oh god.

Oh.

Oooohhh.

Uh oh.

Okay, it was fine. Everything is fine.

So she has a little crush, it’s not a big deal. Megamind had really showed up for her when she needed it and he was funny and cute and smart so of course! It was only natural that she developed a little bit of a crush!

It’s. Fine.

And it doesn’t matter because Megamind does not feel the same way about her. They’re just friends. They’re beginning to become very good friends actually and she was not about to let some stupid little crush ruin that by behaving in a way that would make the man uncomfortable.

She was happy with being ‘just friends’.

It was fine.

Roxanne closed her eyes and finally set down her, now lukewarm, mug of coffee. She’d just been sitting there, in the café, holding the damn mug for who knows how long while she zoned out and tried to convince herself that the dream from last night was no big deal.

That dream was… intense.

God, it was so real…

It was… nice, actually.

It was the first time in months that she had felt anything even close to desire. The first time she had had a dream like that in years, she really didn’t know how long it had been.

She never did get back to sleep after that. Instead she took a long shower and tried to figure out if it would be ethical to masturbate to the image of her friend when she knew he didn’t feel the same about her. In the end, it made her stomach twist in a not fun way and she decided against it.

She spent the rest of the morning walking around aimlessly, cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned, organizing and reorganizing her kitchen. Eventually, she couldn’t find any more to do around her place, even just for pretend, and took off early for her brunch date.

Well, ‘date’ might be a strong word. It was just Wayne.

They hadn’t talked in a while, actually. She didn’t realize that it had been literals months since either of them even texted each other. Granted, she kinda had other stuff on her mind.

But he texted her the other day and asked if they could meet for coffee at the usual place and she said yes. They should catch up anyway, she figured.

The man was late, though.

Not by much but that guy had never been on time so it’s like she really expected him to come walking through the door at the time he said he would. 9am for Wayne usually meant 920am at best and to be fair, she did get there at least a good 20 minutes early so it’s her own fault she’s been sitting there as long as she was.

She was genuinely surprised to see the man walking in only nine minutes after the time they agreed to meet.

He walked up to her at the small table in the back of the café, their usual spot, with a grin and a light blush.

“Hey, Roxxy.” He pulled out his chair and sat heavily, looking tense but not unhappy.

There was almost a lightness to him that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Good morning.” She replied, with a hint of playful suspicion in her voice. “Sooo,” Roxanne picked her coffee back up and took a slow sip. “Long time, no see. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Wayne?”

“Aah, heh,” he seemed uncharacteristically fidgety which immediately had her hackles up. He busied his hands by playing with the cloth napkin on the table, shifting a bit in his seat from side to side. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Roxanne blinked. “Yeah. I did actually pick up on that. What about?”

Wayne cleared his throat and finally stopped fidgeting, looking her in the eye. “I think I met someone.” He said under his breath, biting his lip.

Roxanne’s eyebrows shot up her forehead. Huh. Interesting. “… You think you met someone? You’re not sure?” she teased, a soft smirk slowly taking over her face.

He smiled back with a twinkle in his eye and said more firmly, “I met someone.”

“Wow… she must really be something.” She murmured into her cup, taking a sip before setting it down again.

She didn’t miss the way Wayne’s cheeks lit up in a blush and he dropped his eyes to the table. The way he nervously cleared his throat before speaking, quietly.

“Yes… he is.”

Roxanne smiled to herself, trying to keep the humor out of her eyes. She knew. Of course she knew. He had never explicitly said it but it wasn’t hard to pick up on. No man would be so eager to pretend to date someone to keep other girls off his back without a reason.

Also she saw him, more than once, checking out the other news crews asses (always the men) whenever something big was wrapping up.

“Tell me about him?”

Immediately all the fear dropped from his face and he smiled dreamily.

“His name is Bernard. We met months ago when - you remember when I accidentally hit that wall during the last big battle and it came down? That was the back wall of this museum and he works there and I went back to help clean it up afterwards and we got to talking a bit and… he’s really sarcastic and he had this dry sense of humor that I love and his hair! Argh!” he buried his face in his hands, stifling a giddy little giggle, and Roxanne would be lying if she said she wasn’t happy for him.

A waitress came by a second later and dropped off his tea and two blueberry muffins. His cheeks were still bright red as he thanked her and started adding an ungodly amount of sugar to his tea.

Roxanne let him finish his little ritual before speaking again.

“You want to break up.” It wasn’t a question and she didn’t bother phrasing it like one. Briefly, he looked worried, like he was doing something wrong by wanting to pursue this guy he clearly had feelings for. As if he thought she would be upset that their pretend relationship was coming to an end.

“Yeah… it’s just, he doesn’t want to hide. He said he spent way too much time in the closet as a kid and now that he’s finally out he doesn’t want to go back in and… I don’t want to pretend anymore either.” He finished softly.

As if he needed to justify it.

No, it was time. If she was being real honest, it was past time for them to come clean.

“I want to come out.” He said, confidently and without any doubt. “And I want to retire.”

… what?

Oh.

What??

That, okay, that was not what she was expecting to hear.

“You want to retire?”

“Yes.” He breathed, all the air rushing from his lungs. “I can’t do it anymore.” Wayne said, miserably. “I’m so tired, Roxxy. I just, I don’t want to do it anymore and Megamind hasn’t been around in months and I think maybe, if I could just talk to him, maybe he doesn’t want to anymore either, ya know? Maybe if we both agree to stop, we can both… just stop. These past few months have been so nice. No major battles or fights. Nothing that the police couldn’t handle on their own. It’s just, it’s been so nice.” He finished softly, absently stirring his tea and shoving a chunk of blueberry muffin into his mouth.

Roxanne was stunned. She had a suspicion that Megamind also wanted to stop. At least he hadn’t made any attempt to start up with the big plots again. They hadn’t talked about it again since that time almost a month ago and she’d decided not to bring it up unless he seemed like he’d be open to talking about it.

She’d had no idea that Wayne wanted to quit. Looking at him now, though, she could see it. Didn’t she literally just think, as he walked in, that he looked lighter than he had in a long time? She figured that was just the boyfriend but maybe it was also the down time. Not having to fight. Not having to rescue her all the time.

Okay.

“Wow, that’s a lot.” She commented lowly.

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“Okay, lets tackle this one thing at a time.” Roxanne reached into her bag and pulled out a small notebook, laying it on the table and diving back into her purse. “I think we should break up on air.” She finally found her pen on the bottom of her bag and flipped her notebook open to a blank page on the table. “It would be the easiest way to tell as many people as possible as quickly as possible and you can announce your retirement at the same time, if you want to.” She looked up at him at the last part and he had such gratitude in his eyes, like he actually thought she might try to talk him out of it or something. Like he just realized he wasn’t going to have to fight about it.

“I want to come out too. At the same time.” He said, quietly but no less firm.

“Are you sure? You can’t un-ring that bell.” She didn’t want to discourage him but she didn’t want him to feel like he had to do it all at once.

“I’m sure. I talked about it with Bernard, a lot, and I don’t want to be in the closet anymore either. I want to come out.”

And who was Roxanne to try to tell him no?

“Okay.” She smiled up at him. “How soon? I’m on leave from work right now but I’ll be back in the office in a few weeks so we could set it up for sometime after that. Unless you want to do it sooner and have one of the other reporters interview you?”

“No. God no, I would much rather it be you and me.”

Roxanne felt a little ball of warmth in her chest at that. They started this whole charade together, it was only fitting that they ended it together as well.

Roxanne grinned, huffed out a deep breath and squared her shoulders. “Okay then. Let’s brainstorm some interview questions and see what we can do.”

And, hey, if this was an excellent way for her to distract herself from the fact that Megamind was going to be in her apartment that very night, for the first time without Minion, and she was going to have to pretend that she didn’t just have the hottest dream of her life about him less than 24 hours earlier…

Well, shut up.

Chapter Text

Roxanne and Wayne talked at that little café until lunch time rolled around. They finally got everything sorted just after 1pm, even down to making some note cards for him to go off of and coming up with most of the questions Roxanne would ask in the interview so he could practice and prepare.

She knew she would be back at work in two weeks’ time and would probably have a lot to catch up on from her absence so they set the interview date for three and a half weeks, on a Monday morning. They left with a hug and Roxanne gave him an encouraging pat on the back, and that was that.

She would text him with any additional questions she thought of but other than that, there was nothing left to do but clear the live interview with her boss and she knew that wouldn’t be a problem so she would wait until Monday to call in.

For now though, she was sitting on her couch in the living room, ordering three large pizzas and sodas from her favorite place because Megamind was going to be there in a half hour.

30 minutes.

Alone. Because Minion was busy.

And she still couldn’t stop thinking about that dream.

She needed to, though! It was totally inappropriate. Megamind was her friend (at this point, she would even go so far as to say he was her best friend) and she shouldn’t be thinking like that about him especially when he’s given no indication that he thinks of her the same way.

Snacks! She needed snacks!

“Minion, please! You have to come with me!”

“Nope.”

“Minion!”

“No.”

“I order you to come with me!”

A stray piece of fabric went sailing through the air and landed perfectly over Megaminds head. He tore it off and threw it on the ground with a scowl.

“Sir, you don’t need me there.”

“But – ”

“She’s not going to kick you out just because I’m not there as a buffer.” Minion said, sympathetic, but still rolling his eyes at Sir for his antics.

Megamind let his shoulders drop and he plopped gracelessly down into the recliner and stared at the ceiling, occasionally stealing glances at his monitors on the other side of the room. (Still nothing. Shocker.)

“You don’t know that…” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sir, she knows I’m not going to be there and she hasn’t cancelled. Besides, these nights are more for you two than they are for me.”

That was true. Minion was more of the go with the flow, ‘I’ll do it if you do’ kind of fish but he was never very social by nature.

“But everyone likes you more and we play off each other well. I’m more likable with you there!” Megamind tried to reason, ignoring how his voice was going a little whiney near the end.

Minion sighed and looked up from where he was sorting through various materials and fabrics. “Sir, I think you should just tell her. That’s what this is really about, anyway. You feel guilty because she doesn’t know about you and your people.”

Megamind couldn’t even say anything because he was right. When Minion was there it felt more like a group of friends just hanging out but if it’s just him and Roxanne, well, that feels more pointed.

That feels more like he was using her. Which he wasn’t! Not really. Not intentionally. He loves their movie nights and getting to spend time with Roxanne… but it would be a lie if he said that was the only thing he got from it.

“I can’t tell her… she’d hate me.” He says miserably.

“Do you genuinely like to spend time with her?”

Megaminds brow furrowed. “Yes.” That was a dumb question. Minion already knew that.

“And if you didn’t need to feed off of her, would you still want to spend time with her?”

“I don’t need to – ”

“Would you?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Then tell her that! She doesn’t seem too upset about you kidnapping her for the last several years so I would say the odds are in your favor here.”

“Miiinnniiioooon!”

“Sir, I want to stay here and organize my fabrics and maybe work on that new cape I’ve been thinking about. You want to go play games and watch movies with miss Ritchi. I don’t see why we can’t both do what we want.”

He wasn’t exactly wrong, Megamind had to concede. He didn’t want to force his friend to do something he really didn’t want to do just because he was feeling… feelings about stuff.

He sighed deeply and petulantly, double checked he was fully covered and his nighttime gloves were secure, and jumped up.

He started for the garage but quickly ran back in where Minion was holding out two boxes in his hands for him to grab with a big stupid grin on his little stupid face, which Megamind took with a bit more force than necessary.

Megamind secured the bag in the passenger car of the flying motorcycle with a seat belt and with one last deep, fortifying breath, he took off.

Arguably, she might have gone a little overboard with the snacks but what else was new, really. This was her cheat day and she intended to live it to the fullest.

She decided to make up a whole platter for ease of access. She got her biggest tray and filled it with potato chips, twizzlers, gummy bears, sour straws and various types of chocolate candy. There was a whole separate bowl just for popcorn and all of that only took about five minutes to throw together so… she did something.

It might be a tiny bit childish.

It's just that this time, they decided to spend the whole night binge-watching the best show to ever be created.

Star Trek.

Specifically, the original series.

It was going to be a proper slumber party and she wanted it to feel the part.

And what was a slumber party without a pillow fort?

She pushed the couch back and took all the cushions off to make the walls. She layered several big blankets and her fluffiest duvet on the floor, with two pillows, for comfort and then draped the whole thing with a sheet.

Honestly, it looked kinda perfect. It looked cozy.

Roxanne almost wished that she had some fairy lights that she could string up for a more whimsical effect. Megamind was a very whimsical person, he would have appreciated it. She was fairly confident he was going to love this anyway, but the lights would’ve been a nice touch.

She ran back to the kitchen to grab her unhealthy abomination of a snack tray and by the time she set it out on the floor in front of their little blanket cave, she could hear the soft revving of the flying motorcycle coming to a land on her balcony.

She didn’t know how even just the thought of him always managed to make her feel like a kid again.

She was excited. Like, genuinely excited and she giggled to herself as she rushed over to the French doors. Her nerves from earlier were all but gone, the dream temporarily forgotten. She threw the doors open and pulled Megamind in by the wrist, spreading her arms in a very ‘ta-da’ type of way.

His reaction was completely worth it.

He took all of 1.3 seconds to understand what he was looking at before he dramatically gasped and his hands went to his cheeks.

“IS THAT A PILLOW FORT??!!”

“Yeah!”

“IT’S INCREDIBLE!!!”

Roxanne’s cheeks were hurting from how wide she was smiling as Megamind rushed over and examined the fort with all the seriousness of a professional contractor, ooh-ing and ahh-ing at every angle.

Finally, he crawled inside until the only thing she could see were his favorite blue bat slippers poking out.

“This is very structurally sound!” he said, clearly impressed.

Whether he was exaggerating or not, she really didn’t care. It was obvious he appreciated it as much as she did which was enough to prove he was a person of substance.

Roxanne turned around to close the doors to the balcony and saw the two boxes on the floor where Megamind clearly dropped them when she pulled him in. She picked them up and locked the doors behind her, hoping there was nothing in them that was breakable.

“Hey Megamind? What are these?”

He poked his head out from the fort and as soon as he saw what she was holding he bolted back over, making grabby hands at her on the way.

“They’re for us!! Gimme gimme! This one’s yours!” he pulled both boxes out of her hands before quickly thrusting one of them back at her. She took it eagerly, his enthusiasm infectious as always.

She didn’t waste any time, yanking the lid off and shoving the tissue paper on the inside out of the way. It was a blanket? No, not a blanket. It was a hoodie… no way… no fucking way did he get –

“Is this an Oodie?!” she almost screamed. It was incredibly soft, rainbow tie-dyed, big as a tent and went down to her mid-calf.

She could not wait to put it on! It felt amazing in her hands, buttery soft! Even as she was pulling it over her head, she looked up to see Megamind was already wearing one of his own, his just as big and plush but black with blue zebra stripes.

“No! it’s even better because Minion made it!” he spread his arms wide to show his off and it really was a work of art.

She tugged the hood up with a massive grin and it instantly fell over her eyes. The sleeves were long enough to cover her hands and overall, it was the comfiest thing she now owned.

‘Cozy’ was quickly becoming the theme of the night.

It was four hours later and they were settled into their little cave very nicely. They were laying side by side (a respectable distance still between them) on their stomachs, surrounded by empty pizza boxes and candy wrappers. Roxanne was absolutely going to have to spend some extra time in the gym that weekend.

They were watching the Naked Time, Sulu was running down the hallways of the Enterprise challenging everyone to a dual. Megaminds gaze was glued to the screen but Roxanne was watching him from the corner of her eye, a soft smile playing on her lips.

She liked the way his eyes sparkled when he was excited. The way his face just lit up when he was happy. When he laughed, where a humans face might turn red, his cheeks went purple, almost magenta in color. He didn’t have an adams apple like humans did, his neck was just smooth. Of course, his neck and head were the only things she had ever seen of him.

Even now, and every other time they met up for date night… game night.

(Dear god they were date nights weren’t they? It didn’t feel like that before because Minion was there but now it’s just them and it definitely feels like a date, oh god.)

Even now, he was covered from the base of his neck to the tips of his toes. He had this particular set of gloves that he uses when he comes over and Roxanne had taken to calling them his ‘leisure gloves’ in her head. She never really questioned it, it was always just a Megamind thing, but now that she was thinking about it, she was curious.

“Can I ask you something?” she whispered, trying not to distract too much from the show.

“Uh huh.” He replied, clearly distracted but he still turned his head a bit towards her, even when he didn’t take his eyes off the tv.

“Why do you always wear gloves?”

The change was instant. Megaminds eyes widened and his shoulders tensed, slowly creeping up to his ears. This hands, which had been reaching for another twizzler, froze midair. She watched as he pulled it back and both his hands curled up into his chest, like he was trying to hide them.

That was not the rection she was expecting or wanted.

She watched as his face went through several stages of emotion. He stammered out a few syllables but couldn't seem to get the sentence going.

“I’m sorry.” She said quickly, trying to back pedal. “I’m – was that a rude thing to ask? Is it like a cultural thing? You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable, I was just curious but it’s okay! I didn’t mean to ask something so personal if that’s what it is.”

She bit her lip to stop her rambling and decided to just focus on the show. Kirk was fighting again and someone was singing very poorly over the ships com and she tried not to let her eyes stray back to her right side, where Megamind was still laying quiet and stiff.

It stayed that way for a while and Roxanne hoped she hadn’t ruined the entire night by asking what she now believed to be an entirely inappropriate, possibly insensitive, maybe even taboo, question.

“It’s not… it’s not exactly a cultural thing…” Megamind said, hesitantly. Roxanne looked back at him, surprised that he was willing to talk about it. His eyes were trained on the ground though. He seemed more resigned to than willing to talk and Roxanne didn’t like that.

“Megamind, it’s okay. I didn’t realize it was a touchy subject. You don’t have to explain yourself to me if it’s too personal.”

The last thing she expected was for him to burst into near hysterical laughter for a few seconds, mumbling something about ‘touchy subject’ under his breath.

He ran one hand down his face before stopping and looking at his gloved hand, almost sadly.

Finally, he sighed.

“It’s not a cultural thing… not really.” He started, more firmly than before. Roxanne reached over for the remote and paused the show. She had a feeling this was going to be a heavy talk and she wanted to be present for it.

Megamind had a tendency to seem very carefree and goofy and open, but at the same time she felt like she barely knew anything about him. He kept all the big stuff to himself.

He started tapping his fingers on the floor, a nervous tick of his she had noticed over time.

“My people are… were… similar to empaths.” He was barely whispering by the last word, pausing like he was waiting for her reaction.

That word hung heavy in the air between them.

Were.

It wasn’t hard to put some of the pieces together but the picture they were creating in her head was devastating. What happened to his people that he had to speak of them in the past tense? Of course she wanted to know but this was absolutely not the time and place for it. One difficult conversation per night, that was her new rule.

“So, you wear gloves because you don’t want to accidentally touch someone and feel their emotions?” she tried to keep her voice open and void of judgement. If Megamind was finally opening up about himself, she didn’t want to do anything that might shut that down.

He winced anyway, subtly shifting where he was laying to put just a bit more distance between them. She hated that he felt like he had to do that.

“No.” he murmured and continued haltingly. “I wear gloves… so that I don’t, uh, accidentally feed on people…”

He wouldn’t look at her and honestly that might have been a good thing in the first moment after he finished talking because what? Both of their eyes went wide like saucers though she suspected for completely different reasons.

She took a breath in and tried to calm her racing thoughts, attempting to let her analytical journalist mind take over and get more information before forming an opinion.

“Okay… by ‘feed’, do you mean you eat peoples emotions? Like a wraith?” because wow. That’s an interesting thought. Really, there was so many things she wanted to ask that she just needed a minute to organize it all in her head.

Megamind seemed a little uneasy at the comparison and took a shaky breath. “No, I’m not stealing people’s emotions. I’m not sucking out your happiness through your face like a Dementor, it’s just… I – we were, my people, needed to feel an emotional connection to others to live. There isn’t really a human concept that I can accurately compare it to other than food. I need it. I have to.” He rushed out and Roxanne could feel his fear like it was a palpable thing. Absently, she thought maybe that was how other people’s emotions felt to him.

“I… have so many questions, I don’t even know where to start.” She looked at him with anticipation and a grin. To steal a quote from Spock himself, this was fascinating.

The shock and wonder on his face made something in her chest ache. He can sense others emotions. It took a second for her to put together that that doesn’t just mean the good ones.

“Do you – is it okay if I ask you some stuff?”

With his mouth slightly agape, all he could do was nod. He was looking at her like she wasn’t real and she didn’t really know what do with that.

“So, okay so,” Roxanne ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the strands and trying to think clearly. “Can you only feel, or feed on, people’s emotions when you’re touching them?”

He was already shaking his head before she finished talking. “No, it’s, if people are close enough to me or feeling something about me specifically, then I can feel them and feed off that, but only a little. If I want to, um, feed directly from a human, because you aren’t the same species, it needs to be through physical touch.”

“Wait, wait, hold on.” Roxanne looked around the room with her brow furrowed, a small frown on her face. They were literally surrounded by junk food and pizza boxes. “Megamind, do you even need regular food?”

He took a second to look around as if seeing the mess for the first time, and looked back at her a little more sheepish than before. “Technically, no, or I wouldn’t if I was…” he paused, suddenly nervous again. “If I was healthy.”

Roxanne felt her eyebrows shoot up, something cold settling in her stomach. What the fuck did that mean?

“It’s just,” he continued, almost tripping over his words as he tried to get them out faster. “Humans don’t like me. They never have and good emotions are better to feed on than bad ones but I grew up in prison, so good emotions were hard to – ”

“Woah! Hold on. You grew up in prison?!”

“Yes.”

“Megamind. You grew up in prison.”

“Yes?”

They spent far too long staring at each other after that statement.

Finally, Roxanne sighed and scrubbed her hand over her eyes in frustration. “Okay, I feel like you’re not fully understanding the gravity of that statement, so I’m – we’re gonna put a pin in that. But we are coming back to it later.” She said firmly, waiting for Megamind to nod in agreement. She chose to ignore his obvious confusion about it. “Continue. You grew up in prison…”

“Yeah,” he picked up slowly, hesitantly, but kept going none the less. “It was easier when I was a baby. Everyone likes babies and the other inmates would be friendly enough. But, the older I became the harder it got to find the good feelings to feed on. Food helps, I can digest it, but…” he struggled for a second. Roxanne could see the fight on his face to come up with a comparison she could understand, and she really did appreciate that. This was, literally, an alien concept to her.

“It’s like, imagine you were lost in the desert. You have unlimited water but no food. The water will keep you alive for a while but eventually you’ll still starve to death.”

Good emotions are better than bad. Does that just mean that the bad ones are less nutritious? That feels like a weird way to phrase it but he implied he wasn’t healthy so that had to be true, or at least partly true. He is very thin. He is very thin. She thought it was just his species but what if he was actually just starving and had been for his whole life? She shuddered, the thought sending a chill down her spine.

When he said he wears the gloves to prevent accidentally feeding on someone, she thought he meant he was protecting the other person but what if he was protecting himself from all the bad things people feel about him?

He grew up in prison.

Another puzzle piece slowly slid into place in her mind and god, why did it all make a sickening sort of sense?

“Megamind,” she began softly. “Did you become a supervillain in order to make a whole city full of people hate you at the same time? So you wouldn’t starve to death?”

She hated how ashamed he looked. How his whole body seemed to deflate under her gaze.

His breathing became a bit harsher. He wouldn’t meet her eyes and he started tapping the floor with his fingers again. “… I was hungry.” He whispered, desperately. Like he was begging her to understand. To not hate him.

Oh look, there was another piece she hadn’t even thought of until now.

“And you’re not doing any plots, kidnapping me and fighting Metroman anymore, because now we meet up every week and you can… eat…”

She didn’t know exactly how to feel about that but she could see the devastation slam down like a cage over his face and somehow, in a sick sort of way, it made her feel better. She only thought it for a second but his reaction made it clear. He wasn’t only coming over because he had no choice. She knew it, in the back of her head, that he wouldn’t come over every single week to play games and watch movies with her if he didn’t think of her as a friend too. She wasn’t just because he had no alternative.

That last voice that would whisper to her in the dark of night that he only cared out of pity was finally quiet.

“I – I, no, that’s n-not, I-I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll go!” He stammered and shook his head, leaning back and it wasn’t until he started looking like he was about to run that she finally woke up and took action.

Right as he was starting to get his hands under him, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down into the blankets. She still had a lot of questions but she could ask them later.

For a few seconds, it was still as they looked at each other. The tension in the air was thick and heavy.

She hated the fear she could see in his eyes. The way he almost looked like he wanted to cry.

The fact that he was looking at her like she was another human for him to be afraid of.

Slowly, she held out her hand, palm up.

He looked at it in confusion, before glancing back up at her.

She tried her best to soften her face and gave him a small friendly grin, looking pointedly around the room one more time, her eyes landing on the nearly finished tray of snacks she had made earlier, before finding his again.

“Are you still hungry?”

It took a moment for him to understand. It was almost like he couldn’t process what she was really asking. Then he looked at her with that same wonder as before. Like she wasn’t even real. He kept glancing back and forth between her hand and her face like he couldn’t believe what she was offering.

He sucked in a deep, shuttering breath.

“I’m starving.” He whispered.

Slowly, so he could see her every move and stop her if he wanted to, she reached over and gently took one of his hands in hers. These gloves were shorter than his regular gloves, stopping at his wrist. She snapped open the single button close on his inside wrist and with one final glance into his eyes for permission, she tenderly started taking the glove off, finger by finger. She could feel the slight tremors in his hand and kept her touch light and gentle.

She set the glove aside, respectfully, when it was off and, gently, slipped her hand into his, threading their fingers together in the same way as weeks before when they fell asleep on the couch.

Megamind groaned and she could only imagine the skin-to-skin contact must be a lot for someone who is so used to there being a layer between him and the rest of the world. Roxanne almost thought she saw a tear in his eye but he dropped his head down and buried it in the elbow of his other arm before she could be sure.

His whole body went completely lax and she never realized how strained he must be all the time.

Roxanne ran her thumb over the back of his hand, pulling it towards her and caressing it between both of hers, ignoring the soft whimpers he gave with every delicate touch.

She gave him a few minutes before reaching over and grabbing the remote, turning the volume down a little bit and starting the show back up. Megamind didn’t move for hours and she held his hand for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

He was floating.

Everything was so soft and he felt like he was floating.

He felt… oh there was so much to feel. Too much to name them all, too many to keep track of.

The boredom and apathy clung to his fingers like sticky toffee candy, annoying in the way it stuck to him and wouldn’t let go.

Anger and annoyance flowed through his chest like fire, scorching bright and hot but passing by too fast to burn.

Humor, happiness and oh there was even joy! It was sweet and sour all at once, filling him from head to toe and he’d never felt so full in his life! It was like lemonade on a hot summer day. Cherry pie before it had the chance to fully cool. Fresh strawberries and mint ice cream.

Peace. There was peace. It was like water in a drought. Spring rains and clean linens.

So much, so very much more and it all surrounded him in a kaleidoscope of colors and sensations and he was floating.

For a while it was overwhelming, though not in a bad way. It was very much like sitting in front of a feast and not knowing what his first bite should be. In fact, that was maybe too close of a comparison. It took some time for him to start coming back to himself and for once he couldn’t say how long, down to the second. A few hours, maybe?

Is this what it felt like to be high? Human drugs had little to no effect on him, his biology being too incompatible, but if he had to guess, this looseness in his mind and body, the near euphoria of being full for the first time since he was eight days old, it had to come close.

He was almost dizzy with it.

Or, maybe he was actually dizzy.

Regardless, it took a lot of effort to even open his eyes again. He only got them open just a crack, but the site before was too good to be true. It simply had to be a dream. A really good dream.

Roxanne was still laying on her stomach right where she had been when she first took his hand. Her feet were up and lightly swaying back and forth behind her. The massive hoodie was practically swallowing her up, the only part of her he could see was her hands and her face. She reached for the popcorn bowl, now down to the last crumbs she could find but she didn’t seem to mind. Her eyes were glued to the tv, watching as the crew of the Enterprise beamed down to an alien planet where strange things were happening.

His eyes traced every detail he could find, from the way her feet would tap against the ‘walls’ of their little fort every once in a while, making the sheet ripple, down to the curve of her cheeks when she laughed.

She was still holding his hand.

He could the soft trickle of emotions feeding into him, not as overwhelming as before but still very pleasant. He could feel them tingle as they traveled up his arm and sent shivers down his spine.

This couldn’t be real. It had been close to twenty years since he touched someone without his gloves, he forgot how it felt when the person he was touching didn’t hate or fear him.

Roxanne was too good. She was too good to be true. Certainly too good for him.

That didn’t stop him from wanting to hold her hand for the rest of his life anyway.

It was just… he didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want her to let go of him. It had been. So. Long. Since anyone touched him like this and here was this woman who had every reason in the world to hate him and she felt safe.

With him! Of all creatures!

And she did, actually, feel safe. Humans never felt just one thing at a time, this he knows, but amongst all the dozens of emotions floating through her in this one moment, there was the sensation of safety. It was soft, pillowy. It surrounded him like a warm blanket. It was better than he deserved.

After everything. After kidnapping her. Tying her up with a bag over her head. Using her as bait in his schemes just so he could suck up whatever he could from the people of the city and taunt his high school bully.

The hand in his squeezed and his eyes shot up to Roxannes face. She was looking at him with such tenderness, if he focused he could feel the tendrils of worry, concern, creeping up the nerves on his arm.

“Hey…” she whispered, so softly he almost thought he imagined it. “Are you okay?”

That was when he felt something trickling down his face. Tears. Of course. Of course he was crying, how much more pathetic could he get?

But she wasn’t disgusted. She wasn’t angry or annoyed or anything else she had every right to be. Instead she was sad. The worry/concern was bitter on the back of his tongue.

There was just so much. So much he wanted to say but there was a lump in his throat and his chest was tight and he desperately did not want her to let go yet. He didn’t want to be selfish and he didn’t want her to think he was ungrateful.

It was just… he just…

“Thank you.” He forced the words out, scratchy and rough. He had to. She had to know. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

He lowered his head down to the ground, forcing himself to only loosely grip her hand in case she wanted to pull away but all she did was hold it tighter, more firmly between her own.

“It’s okay, honey.” The endearment made his heart clench and the tears kept flowing quietly from the corners of his eyes. She said it just as softly as before.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Roxanne never did get to sleep that night. She knew she was going to have to drown herself in coffee if she wanted to have any chance of staying awake but she wanted to be there if Megamind woke up again like before.

Her heart clenched in her chest just thinking about it.

He hadn’t moved. Not more than an inch in the literal hours it had been since she first took his hand. She’d had to pee for the last two hours but she was determined to hold it at least until the man woke up.

Roxanne had turned the tv off a while ago. All the snacks were gone and while she was tired, she wasn’t exactly sleepy. Instead, she passed the time observing the hand in hers.

His skin was soft. And smooth, almost like a dolphin. He didn’t have any of those fine baby hairs that humans had all over them. It was almost like he didn’t have any pores at all.

She let out a shuddering sigh as she cast her eyes onto her friend. He looked blissed out. Already his cheeks seemed to have some more color to them.

All this time.

His people are empaths who need emotions to survive the same way humans need food.

His people were…

Roxanne shuddered and put that away, not wanting Megamind to have to taste her sad and upset, yet still unable to stop herself from wondering what fear and hate must taste like, and felt her stomach clench at the thought.

Sharply, she shook herself out of her maudlin mood and tried to focus on happier things. Tried to think about the fun stuff. That time in second grade when she would push all the kindergarteners on the swings and it made her feel strong. The first time she ever baked a pumpkin pie for thanksgiving, by herself, and she forgot to add the sugar leaving it tasting both bland and bitter at the same time. Her whole family couldn’t stop laughing the rest of the night and they still bring it up every year.

One by one, she let herself reminisce in as many happy, joyful moments as she could remember.

The sun was just barely starting to come up, the sky getting a touch lighter with every second that passed, when Megamind finally started to stir. It was gradual. He groaned, stretching a little before gently, to her surprise, letting go of her hand.

For a moment she was confused and her hand felt all tingly from holding his all night.

“Go pee, Roxanne.” Megamind mumbled softly from where his head was still buried in his elbow.

“Oh my god, you can feel that?!” she was horrified and fascinated at the same time.

He didn’t dignify that with an answer and instead simply pointed in the direction of the stairs without looking.

Roxanne really wanted to stay and ask more questions now that he was awake but her bladder was fighting a losing battle and she really had no choice in the matter.

She decided to brush her teeth and wash her face while she was up there. The last thing she needed right now was for Megamind to smell her atrocious, candy fueled morning breath.

By the time she made it back downstairs, Megamind was already setting the room to rights. Their fort was gone, turned back into a couch and he was piling trash into a garbage bag he must have found under the sink.

Without a word, Roxanne reached for the empty pizza boxes and the nearly empty platter. It was calm and quiet and unusually peaceful. They cleaned everything up and all that was left was the dishes. Roxanne washed, Megamind dried, and she didn’t think it was her imagination that the both of them seemed to be taking their time.

She didn’t want him to go.

That’s what it was. This feeling of eager longing. Now that she knew this big secret of his, maybe he would open to sharing more about himself? She’d always been curious but despite how goofy and carefree he always seemed during evil plots, he was very tight lipped whenever it came to anything personal.

Could he tell what she was thinking? He implied that someone has to be thinking about him specifically for him to… feed? Absorb? Is it like how a flower photosynthesizes? What was the right term? Oh god, what if she used the wrong term and accidentally insults his mother or something?

Could he tell she was thinking about him right now? He couldn’t read her mind, she knew that much, but could he tell what she was thinking based on what she was feeling? There had to be some kind of correlation there, right?

Beside her he chuckled lowly, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Megamind slowly grin and turn slightly towards her.

“Miss Ritchi, are you projecting your emotions towards me?” he asked with no small amount of humor. She could see the laughter dancing in his eyes and what was the point in trying to deny her emotion to an empath anyway?

“I didn’t think I was. Sorry.”

“No! It’s alright! I just wasn’t expecting it… Your – ”, he cut himself off and seemed like he was warring with himself about what he was going to say. She stayed quiet and hoped he would trust her enough to finish his sentence.

She saw his shoulders relax a bit as he ducked his head, cheeks turning a pretty shade of purple.

“Your curiosity is very fulfilling.” He finished, softly.

Somehow, she had an inkling that that meant more than what he was just saying with words, but even if she didn’t understand it, she recognized a compliment when she heard one.

“Thank you.” She replied just as gently, not wanting to spoil the mood, but the dishes were done and her place was clean and she just wished…

“Would you like to stay?” she blurted it out quickly, before she could lose her nerve. “I mean, I don’t know if you have anything going on today but I don’t and I have so many questions, not that you’re obligated to answer them or anything and I wish we could just go out and wonder around for the day if you were up for it but we could also stay here, if you wanted?” she kind of lost all her steam near the end there, desperately trying not to cringe at herself. Word vomit was not the look she was going for.

Megamind was just looking at her with wide saucer like eyes. They both stood there for some amount of time, staring at each other. Should she say something or just wait? She was starting to notice that when Megamind was surprised he took a few seconds to process and react so if that’s what was happening then maybe she should just wait…

She wasn’t going to take it back. Despite how awkward it ended up sounding, she meant what she said and she wasn’t going to chicken out now.

So she waited. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long before a slow smile started to form on his face, his eyes lighting up.

“I have an idea.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It didn’t take them long to get to Evil Lair. As soon as the bike was parked they both jumped off and Roxanne followed behind as Megamind ran inside.

“Hi Minion!”

“Hey Mini!”

Minion was sat in the living room where they had their first movie night, light jazz music playing low and leisurely pulling a needle and thread through some beautiful shimmery fabric.

He didn’t even have to grace to look startled by their sudden appearance, he simply waved at them without looking up.

“Good morning, Sir, Ma’am.”

“Wait here, I’ll be right back!” Megamind rushed off, not waiting for a reply and practically flying through a door leading, she assumed, deeper into the Lair.

“Miss Ritchi?”

Roxanne spun around back towards Minion. He stood from his rocking chair and held up the fabric he had been sewing when they walked in. It was, in fact, a dress. An absolutely gorgeous dress. It was a deep, dark purple that sparkled in the light. It twinkled at every minute movement and almost seemed iridescent at the right angles. Minion smiled in the typical Minion way. “Would you mind helping me with something while you wait?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It took Megamind about twenty minutes to find whatever it was he was looking for but finally he came rushing back into the main room… only to stop dead in his tracks.

Roxanne was standing on the coffee table, Minion kneeling at her feet with a few pins on a cushion on his wrist. She was barefoot and she had changed from her jeans and t-shirt into what he could only describe as a dress made for and by the gods themselves.

It was floor length, his view from behind her showed how it dipped deeply in the back, draped beautifully all the way down to her waist, two thin spaghetti straps the only thing holding it up. It hugged her curves and dear god, did she have curves…

Megamind didn’t think he could speak if he tried. De-Gun to his head, he wouldn’t be able to utter a word.

He could see the entire expanse of her long neck and toned shoulders. Her arms were bare and the shear amount of skin he could see should have been scandalous.

He didn’t know how long he’d been standing there before Minion noticed him, standing up.

“Ah! Sir! What do you think? This is what I was working on all night.” He said, hands on his hips with pride. “I think it turned out quite well!”

Quite well, he says, like Megamind didn’t feel his entire world tilting on its axis. Like he wasn’t struggling to remember how to breathe, but then… she turned around.

Her face was the picture of joy. It lit her up like a super nova. She was blushing but still smiling wider than he’d ever seen.

“Megamind, look at this dress! Isn’t it stunning?!” she came close to yelling in her excitement, and what could he do but agree.

“Yes,” he murmured under his breath, his eyes never leaving her face as she beamed and spun in a circle for him. “Stunning.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked as Minion helped her down from the coffee table.

He had to swallow several times before he could reply. “Yep, yes, yeah I-I found it.”

“Good! I’ll go get changed and we can go!”

She lifted her long skirt and hurried into the bathroom. Megamind couldn’t stop his eyes from trailing her the entire way, nor could he tear his gaze from the door after it closed behind her.

He felt the air shift beside him and didn’t have to turn to know what kind of smug expression was sitting on his friends face.

“Minion.”

“Yes sir?”

“You are a low down dirty rotten bastard.”

“Oh? I thought she looked quite nice. The dress really hugged her figure well. I thought you might like it. Purple really is her color.”

Megamind slowly turned to his so-called ‘friend’, eyes squinted and mouth open, aghast.

“You are true evil.” He said in a whisper, slight awe creeping in no matter how much he fought against it.

Minion smirked, lifting one eyebrow as he leaned down to whisper back, “I learned from the best, sir.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Roxanne followed him back out to the garage, waving goodbye to Minion on the way.

As soon as the door closed behind them, he whirled around brandishing a small box.

“This is a prototype. Just something I’ve been working on.”

“What is it?”

He smiled and opened the box, revealing a watch. It was nice, clearly a men’s watch. It didn’t look like much but when it came to Megamind, Roxanne knew better than to judge a book by it’s cover.

Or rather, a watch by its face, as the case may be.

Without any more fanfare, he slipped it on and fastened it around his wrist. Megamind took a deep breath and, as Roxanne watched on in wonder, he turned the dial on the side and suddenly, there was a whole different person standing in front of her.

Her mouth dropped open in shock.

He was a bit of a plain man. His outfit matched hers in a way, jeans and a t-shirt, but his were clearly more worn. The jeans were frayed at the cuffs and the shirt had some band logo that was so faded it was almost gone. He was dark skinned, had short curly hair, a lean build and all around looked nothing like the Megamind she knew. With the exception of his eyes. They were still the same bright, vibrant green.

“Oh my god…” she whispered.

“What do you think? Will it work?” he held his arms out and spun slowly in a circle, letting Roxanne look him up and down with a calculating gaze.

“It’s incredible. You can’t even tell! Is it a hologram? Who is this guy?” she reached out and poked him in the arm. The image didn’t change but her finger did pass through an inviable barrier so what she touched was not the skin of this stranger, but the tight long sleeve shirt Megamind always wore.

“it’s the pizza guy who delivers to us sometimes and yes, it is a hologram! The battery should be good for years but it’s not, as you can tell, solid. It is also not waterproof so as long as we don’t get caught in the rain, we can go wherever we want.”

Roxanne smiled wide. They could go wherever they want.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If someone had told Roxanne Ritchi six months ago that she would be walking through the park eating ice cream with Megamind and sharing childhood stories, she would have had them committed.

And yet, here she was doing exactly that.

“I actually used to have really long hair.”

“You did? I’ve never pictured you with long hair.”

“That’s because I hated it! My mom always wanted me to have long hair. I have two older brothers so when I came along she thought, ‘oh! Finally! A girl I can dress up and brush out her hair like a Barbie!’ It got so long, it was way down passed my hips and I hated it so much that when I was sixteen, I stole my brothers hair clippers and just shaved my whole head!”

Megamind through his head back and laughed, miming wiping tears from his eyes.

“Your mother must have loved that!”

“Oh my god, she was pissed! I don’t think I’ve ever heard her scream that loud!”

They both shared a giggle at the image, stealing glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking between licks of their ice cream cones.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If someone had told Megamind six months ago that he would be laying on a blanket in the grass with Miss Ritchi at his side, watching the clouds pass overhead and telling her about his people, he would have asked them several more questions because clearly they would have been psychic.

“My people were a matriarchal society. I find it very odd that humans are the opposite. Men are far too emotional to lead, in my opinion.”

“Speaking from personal experience, are you?”

Megamind sat up on his elbows for a moment, raising one eyebrow at her. “Can you honestly picture me as the leader of a country? Or any other man you know?”

The silence after his question was both telling and hilarious.

“That’s what I thought.” He scoffed, plopping back down and putting his hands behind his head. “But, more than that, my people can’t exist alone. We were never meant to. Everyone, when they were born, were given a minion. That’s not just his name, it’s what he is. That word is just the closest thing in human language to match it. We’re given a minion to help settle and steady our minds until we’re old enough to find our own partner. It’s kind of like a marriage but much more permanent. ‘Soul Bond’ might be a better term to use, and it doesn’t have to be romantic, it could be completely platonic in nature, it’s just two people who find themselves to be very compatible.”

Megamind took a chance and glanced to his side, only to see Roxanne looking right back at him. He didn’t know why this moment felt so intimate, but he hoped that he wasn’t the only one feeling it. They weren’t touching and she hadn’t given him permission to read her again since last night. The last thing he wanted to do was violate her trust by taking without asking.

“Megamind… what happened to your people?” she asked softly, a crease forming on her forehead.

He bit the inside of his cheek and slowly turned his head back to the sky. He knew if he said he didn’t want to talk about it that she would let it go.

“My planet was dying.” He started, haltingly. He’d never actually spoken of it out loud before. Not to anyone. Not even Minion because they had both been there when it happened. “The only reason I know anything at all about my people is because they – we – I have an eidetic memory and my parents spent the first eight days of my life telling me stories about our people, our customs, our culture and our family. They took me all around our home town and introduced me to everyone and everything, they wanted to show me as much of our world as they could before it was gone. I remember everyone I met being sad, and scared… they told me what was happening. A black hole began to form in our universe and no matter what anyone did, they couldn’t stop it and it was only getting bigger. When I was eight days old, they put me into a small ship, only big enough for me and Minion, and shot me out into space… and, so, I watched my home planet, and everyone on it, get sucked into a black hole…”

He heard a sniffle from beside and looked back to Roxanne. She had tears in her eyes and a look of horror on her face.

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered. She scooted closer and wrapped her arms around his right arm in some semblance of a hug. “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.” And she leaned her forehead against his shoulder.

They spent a few minutes in silence and for the first time, Megamind felt like he had someone to grieve with.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Roxanne was fully aware that she was living in her own world of make believe. Did she want this day to have been a date? Yes. Was it? No.

She knew that, but still, it’s nice to pretend. The fact that they were in a little dinner down the street from her apartment, sitting across from each other in a booth, eating pancakes at 8pm on a Saturday evening, in no way made it feel even more like a date…

Except for how it totally did. Ugh.

“What’s your name?” she asked out of the blue. (heh)

Megamind looked up in confusion, mouth so filled with pancakes that his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Hmm?”

“I was just wondering, is Megamind your name? Or is that just like a nickname or a moniker? I always wondered but I never asked and I didn’t know if it would be rude to ask or,” Roxanne kind of waved her hands around in an unsure gesture.

Megamind huffed out a laugh and swallowed his massive bite.

“I don’t have a name.”

“… The fuck do you mean you don’t have a name?”

“I don’t have a name!” he laughed. He actually laughed as if that was all the explanation she needed.

Men. Unbelievable.

“Remember I told you how my people were an entirely matriarchal society? That ran deep and boys weren’t given names when they were born. Girls, when they were born, all the women in their family would get together and come up with a name for them. Boys didn’t get names until they were an adult and found a bond partner and She names him on the night they bond.”

The low hum of the dinner around them was the only sound for a little while after that. All Roxanne could do was stare.

“… Fascinating.”

Megamind snorted into his drink.

“So, you wouldn’t get a name until your wedding night? So how did you come up with – ”

“Actually, I guess moniker would be a good term for it. Boys, somewhere around twelve or thirteen, would come up with some kind of moniker to describe them. Usually it was something they were good at or had a passion for, like AthleticClimb or DeepSeaDive. Something they were proud of.”

Roxanne smiled in a way she knew was a little too wistful for this little dinner. “And you chose MegaMind. I love that. It’s very accurate.”

She didn’t miss the way his cheeks and the tips of his ears lit up in a blush as he ducked his head, or the little grin he couldn’t fully suppress, but she didn’t comment on it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They ended up back at her place, sitting sideways on her couch facing each other. They were each bundled under their preferred blankets and passing a bottle of wine back and forth between them, not bothering with glasses. The only light they had was from the moon and stars pouring in from her balcony doors.

They spoke softly in the dim light, sharing secrets easily now.

“I’ve only had two serious boyfriends in my life. One in high school and one in New York when I was in college, and I broke up with both of them for stupid reasons.”

“They couldn’t have been that stupid if they facilitated a breakup.”

Roxanne grinned in a very ‘wanna bet’ kind of way.

“I broke up with my high school boyfriend of two years because he slurped his Jello and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Megamind cringed, shuddering in his seat. “That is a completely justifiable reaction and you made the correct choice.” He said solemnly, raising the bottle in a salute before taking a quick sip and passing it back.

Roxanne grabbed it by the neck and took a great big swig of it.

“What about your college boyfriend?”

“Ugh, I broke up with him because of the ringtone he gave me on his phone. He refused to change it and I decided he wasn’t worth the fight.” She shrugged. Their knees knocked together through the blankets and made Roxanne wonder when they even got so close. They must have been subtly inching closer together as the night wore on and the moon came out.

“What was the ringtone?”

Roxanne rolled her eyes. “Same one that everyone uses for me: Roxanne by The Police.”

Megamind scrunched up his face and frowned in confusion. “I don’t use that as your ringtone.” He stated simply.

Roxanne paused halfway to raising the wine bottle back to her lips and looked at him with skepticism. “Uh huh. Sure you don’t.” she said, disbelievingly.

“No really, I don’t.”

She raised her eyebrow as if waiting for him to confess to a crime, but all he did was hold her gaze. Finally, she set the wine bottle down on the coffee table and reached into her pocket to pull out her phone.

“I’m gonna call you…”

“Okay.” And he wasn’t even smirking. The man didn’t look nervous at all.

“I’m gonna call you,” she repeated, “And if I hear Roxanne by The Police, you owe me a strawberry cheesecake. A whole one, not just a shitty little slice.”

He fished his own phone out of his pocket and turned the volume up so they could both hear it. “Deal.” He said with confidence, a smile playing on his lips.

Roxanne scoffed, shaking her head. Literally everyone uses that song as her ringtone, there was no way –

“Dirrrty deeds! Done dirt cheap! Dirrrty deeds, done dirt cheap! Dirrr – ”

Roxanne hung up, stunned silent. So much so that for a few seconds, all she could do was stare.

She felt her heart stuttering in her chest. “Why,” she started but had to stop, swallow and start again. “Why that song?”

“Because it’s your favorite song.” The of course was left unsaid but he still looked at her like he couldn’t understand why she would even ask that question.

“It is my favorite song, but how did you know that?”

“You told me. Three years ago, during the easter bunny bandit heist.”

And she had to pause again because yeah, he was right. She had completely forgotten about that but yeah. His sound system wasn’t working properly and he had to put a hold on the heist until it was fixed and in the interim, they somehow got to chatting about their favorite music and the very next plot he kidnapped her for, the intro song he chose was ‘Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap’ by AC/DC.

“I would never use Roxanne as your ringtone, you hate that song.” He scoffed, like that was obvious.

“I do hate that song…” maybe to him it was obvious, but she certainly never mentioned that little detail to him.

She stared at him like she was seeing him for the first time. Today had been like something from a dream. They spent the whole day talking and never once did it get awkward or uncomfortable. It was the best first date outing she had ever been on.

She was starting to get an idea that… the feeling really was mutual.

He was looking at her a bit funny which, honestly, was fair because she had just been staring at him for a not normal amount of time.

She smirked lightly, really just a small lifting to one side of her mouth. “Do you wanna know what your ringtone is?” she asked, holding up her phone and wiggling it around.

Megamind raised his eyebrows. Yeah, he was definitely curious. He didn’t even say anything back, he just pressed the call button and her phone started vibrating in her hand.

‘It’s the way you love me, it’s a feeling like this, it’s centrifugal motion, it’s perpetual bliss, it’s that pivotal momen – ”

He hung up and the song cut out. He was staring at her the same stunned wonder she assumed was on her own face a minute ago.

He dragged in a deep breath, never taking his eyes off of hers and she could see the question he was going to ask before he could finish it.

“Why – ”

“Because it’s your favorite song… you told me two years ago, during that rainbow unicorn stampede plot.” Her voice was practically a whisper, as if speaking any louder might break whatever lovely spell they were sitting in.

He simply nodded, breathing out shakily, and Roxanne made a decision.

“Megamind… I want to try something, and if I'm way off base and I’m totally wrong, we can just pretend like it never happened and I promise I’ll never bring it up again…”

He looked a little bewildered but not worried.

She leaned in, scooting that little bit closer until there was only a few inches between them.

“… Can I kiss you?” she asked softly, gazing tenderly into his eyes.

The silence after her question made her heart race but just like that morning, she waited. ‘Just give him a few seconds Roxanne, his brain needs to catch up.’ She thought to herself.

Eventually, several breaths later, he swallowed hard. “… Yes.”

Between one breath and the next, her lips were on his.

Chapter Text

The kiss was, by every standard, chaste, but it might have been one of her favorites. Top five for sure.

His lips were warm and soft and they fit perfectly against hers. He tasted like the churros they got from the street vendor as they walked back to her apartment. Cinnamon sweet.

After far too short a time in her opinion, she pulled back and opened her eyes. Megamind kept his closed for several more seconds. He looked like he was in bliss and she had to bite her lip to try and keep in her self-satisfied smile. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked at her like she was otherworldly. He did that sometimes, when she managed to surprise him. She didn’t think she would ever get tired of it.

His eyes trailed down her face until they landed on her lips and he let out a shuddering breath.

“Thank you.” He breathed.

Roxanne giggled and ducked her head. “No one’s ever thank me for kissing them before.” She whispered into the dim room.

“Really?” Megamind looked aghast when Roxanne nodded. “Rude.” He said, almost under his breath. She watched his eyes as they darted around the room like he didn’t know where to look. They landed back on her, down to her lips, up to her eyes and quickly back on her lips again before he cleared his throat. “Would you – ”

She lunged at him before he could even finish asking. She may have been a little more aggressive than she meant to be because she landed on top of him on the couch. She was straddling one of his legs and his hands came up automatically to grasp at her hips. She almost worried that she might be too heavy for him but when she went to pull back, to apologize, he gripped her tighter and pulled her back down. All the while, their lips never detached.

This kiss was anything but innocent. It was verging on filthy.

Roxanne trailed her tongue along his lips and when he gasped, she wasted no time diving in, dragging a moan from him that she felt deep in her chest.

Megamind started timid, but he caught on quick and soon it was a battle. A give and take. Roxanne felt one of his hands trail up her back and into her hair, giving it a light tug. His smirk against her lips told her that he could feel how much she liked it.

It was lovely and it went on for so long that she lost all track of time. Soon their passion waned and deep hungry kisses became soft and lazy. They pulled back and leaned their foreheads together, just holding each other in a tight embrace.

“Megamind…” Roxanne whispered against his lips. He gave a small hmm that he was listening as he idly trailed one hand up and down her back, sending shivers down her spine all the way to her toes. “I really like you.” She said, just as soft.

She left soft kisses along his cheek and down to his neck. He tilted his head back with a sigh. “I… I really like you too.” He replied, breathlessly.

Roxanne grinned against his skin, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck and wrapping her arms tight around him. She settled more fully into him and breathed deep his scent. He smelled like cinnamon, fresh grass from their day lounging in the sun, her favorite red wine from the bottle they were sharing.

She left more soft kisses on his neck and shoulder as she asked, “If you’re interested, I would really like to date you.” And she thought she knew what the answer would be, but that didn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach from starting a revolution.

Megamind stilled underneath her, huffing out a disbelieving laugh. “Yes. Yes please, I want that very much.” He said, voice thick with emotion.

Roxanne smiled, her cheek next to his, lightly sucking a bruise into the skin under his ear. With a sigh, she felt all the tension leaving her body. She laughed lightly, when she felt Megamind do the same.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next two weeks were a blur. They saw each other almost every day, making out like a couple of teenagers. More times than she could count, they ended up laid out on her couch, every part of her touching ever part of him from head to foot. Sometimes their hands would wonder but it never felt like a race to the finish line. It was almost luxurious. Roxanne caught herself thinking the words decadent and savory more than once and then had to laugh at herself because she was reasonably sure that’s what Megamind would call it as well if the blissed out look on his face was anything to go by.

In between kisses, they talked. Whispering secrets back and forth, continuing to get to know each other while wrapped in each other’s arms, legs tangled together.

Roxanne found that, beyond just being curious about it, she actually loved that he could read her emotions. There were times his hands would start to slide up the back of her shirt and she would feel her anxiety kick in and before she could even fully realize what she was nervous about, his hands would be gone, landing somewhere much safer. Her hips or her upper back above her shirt.

She’d never been with someone who could read her like that. It made her feel safe.

“You make me feel safe.” She whispered into his neck, where she was peppering small kisses along his collarbone. She loved the way it made his skin turn this lovely shade of purple. They were once again laying on her couch, Roxanne on top of him in much the same way she was for their first kiss. They were both breathing hard, panting into each other’s necks. His hands were on her hips, his thumbs rubbing circles into the skin at her waist. She loved that he didn’t wear gloves around her anymore.

She felt his breath hitch and stutter beneath her. It wasn’t the first time she said it, but his reaction was the same every single time. Shock, disbelief, the way he would look at her like he couldn’t believe she was real. It made her heart swell and her stomach dance. They had only been ‘dating’ for a few weeks but it felt like this had been building up for years and maybe it had, but she had never felt this way for anyone else. Like if she fell, he would catch her.

It made her want to take the leap.

She bit her lip, leaning up slowly and placing a soft, feather light kiss on his lips. “Will you come to bed with me?” she whispered. She hoped that he would say yes, but she couldn’t help to be a little nervous.

One thing she learned over the weeks they had spent together was that Megamind could feel what she felt, but he didn’t always know what the feeling was about. It led to a bit of confusion sometimes. Like now.

Megamind scrunched up his brow and leaned back just a few inches, looking worried. “Roxanne, you don’t… I don’t expect any – ”

“I know!” she hurried to reassure him, not wanting his worry to fester into something bigger. “I know, but I want too… if you do too?” she finished a little more unsure of herself than she began. She didn’t think she would be ready to go to bed with him so soon but it didn’t feel like it was too soon. Of course, that didn’t mean he felt the same.

Another thing she learned is that Megamind was almost painfully insecure. He stopped wearing his gloves around her, yes, but that was just about the only concession he made. He still wore long sleeves every day and leggings that covered him down to his ankles. Once, she tried to take his shirt off and he tensed up so fast, she was terrified she had ruined everything, but she backed off and he relaxed and she didn’t try that again.

Now, she just hoped he felt a little safer with her, too.

He shifted his eyes, looking to the side and biting his cheek and she tried not to feel let down. The last thing she wanted was to guilt him into something he wasn’t ready for. She was just about to try and walk back her offer when he moved.

Slowly, he started to sit up, pulling Roxanne with him. He stood, taking her hands in his and she could feel how they shook just a little. He had his head down and tugged Roxanne’s hands up to his cheeks so he could kiss her palms. “I… I don’t… I’m not…” he started and stopped several times, struggling to get the words out and Roxanne cupped his face and pulled him close, closing her eyes and putting their foreheads together in a way she had come to understand meant something very intimate for him, for his people.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I don’t expect anything either… I just want to be close to you.” She let her thumbs caress gently under his eyes and felt the tension seep out of his shoulders.

Megamind turned his head just slightly to the side and kissed her palms again and again, like he couldn’t get enough of her touch. He nodded and started pulling her gently towards the stairs. They didn’t stop touching the whole way to Roxannes room and in fact, the closer they got, the more urgent their touches became. By the time they made it through the door, they were kissing passionately once again.

Roxanne fell back onto her bed, Megamind landing on top of her. She kissed him deeper with a throaty moan, clutching at his waist and pulling him closer.

He groaned, trailing dirty kisses from her mouth down to her throat. She felt one of his hands lightly trace the hem of her tank top in question and, before she could think too hard about it, she reached down and tugged it off in one smooth motion.

It wasn’t until she threw it across the room that she even thought to be self conscious but Megamind was looking at her in that way again. Like she was a marvel. His eyes raked hungrily over her chest and down to her stomach. Her nipples started to pebble in the cool air, she hadn’t been wearing bra. His arms were braced on either side of her hips as he looked his fill with wide eyes and a hunger in his look and she grasped his wrists just to feel that connection.

Slowly, he lowered himself down and took one pebbled nipple into his mouth, sucking gently as his hands traced a light path up to cup the other one, using his thumb to rub across the sensitive skin.

Roxanne got goosebumps from the feeling. She raised her hands and held him by the back of the head, pulling him into her. When he switched to the other side, she couldn’t stop the lewd moan from escaping her throat.

He took his time, laving attention to each breast lovingly before kissing his way down her stomach, whispering endearments as he went. She could only pick up every other word, but they made her blush anyway.

“… Goddess… Let me worship you… can’t believe… gorgeous.”

When he got to her shorts, all she had to do was lift her hips in invitation and he reverently slid them and her underwear down at the same time and let them fall to the floor. Once again he sat back on his heels and just looked with greedy eyes.

Lightly, he trailed his finger tips up her legs, the inside of her thighs, over her hips and lightly grazing over her pink, peaked nipples. He leaned in close to kiss her softly, so very softly, on the lips.

“Miss Ritchi, please, may I taste you?” and he sounded so sincere, so desperate and so wrecked at the idea of it, how could she possibly say no?

She’d barely managed to nod her head when he raced back down her body, kneeling between her legs. He didn’t dive right in, like she half expected him to. No, he admired. He savored. He let his fingers explore first, running through the soft hair she had, neat and trimmed. He leaned down further until he was laying on his stomach between her legs and eye level with her core, making her blush like she never had before.

She covered her face with her hands and tried to fight down a near hysterical giggle. She didn’t want him to think she was laughing at him, but all he did was kiss her inner thigh where she felt him smile against her skin.

He started kissing his way up towards her center. As he got higher, he started slowly lifting one of her legs to fit snugly over his shoulder, until finally, he kissed her where she really wanted him.

At the same time as his lips closed over her clit, he pressed one finger inside her and curled it up into the perfect spot. Roxanne saw stars, moaning filthily into the otherwise quiet room.

“Oh my god sweet fuck!” Roxanne groaned out, panting and already feeling her legs start to shake. “How did you do that?!” she demanded. She had almost expected that she would need to guide him a little. They had talked about their histories and she knew he had never been with anyone else.

Megamind’s head popped up from between her legs with a smile. “I did a lot of research.” He said cheerily, letting his thumb lightly rub circles around her clit while they talked.

Roxanne half laughed, half moaned, throwing her head back into the bed with a wide smile. “Research, he says! Oh my god, please tell me you didn’t watch porn for a practical demonstration?!”

Megamind went back to kissing her inner thighs as his hands held her open and his fingers explored her folds, sometimes dipping inside and always hitting that same spot.

“That’s where I started, yes, but it didn’t seem very realistic. There are, however, some very helpful videos that were a lot more educational and provided a very thorough hands-on visual demonstration.”

Roxanne had never laughed so much during sex. She was full on giggling between whimpers because the whole time he was talking, his hands never let up on their casual exploration. His nimble fingers were filling her nicely, gliding in and out of her, slowly building up her pleasure with expertise. She was going to have to ask about those video guides after. Tomorrow maybe. The second he stopped talking though, all laughter left her.

He pulled his fingers out and slid his tongue inside in one smooth motion, making Roxanne gasp and her back bow off the bed. His tongue was longer than a humans, logically she already knew this but to have it put to practice in such an intense way was a shock to her system. His fingers weren’t the only things with pinpoint precision apparently. She didn’t even notice when she reached down with one hand and grabbed him by the back of the head, holding him tightly to her core and damn near riding his face.

Megamind slipped his arms under her thighs and grasped her by the waist, both her legs now over his shoulders and framing his face tightly.

He made absolutely no complaint about this.

Roxanne was having trouble catching her breath, panting and whimpering as he thrust his tongue in and out of her, periodically moving up to show her clit some much needed attention.

He kept her on the brink for a long time. She would be skating on the edge of completion and he would pull back, petting at her sides and nuzzling her mound and her quivering thighs until she came back down and then started all over again. She was dripping wet and it was maddening and delicious and she never wanted it to end.

She couldn’t say how long they continued like this but Roxanne was getting desperate and finally caved, resorting to begging for her release.

“Please! Please, Megamind, let me cum! I need it, please!” she had her eyes squeezed tightly closed. Her ankles were locked together behind his back and she had both hands on the back of his head now, not even letting him up to breathe.

She felt him huff a little laugh against her pussy, and briefly considered being offended, but then he attacked her with renewed fervor. He gave her clit one very good, long suck and Roxanne shattered. Her body went taut and she threw her head back in a silent scream.

Her legs were shaking nonstop as waves of unmitigated pleasure wracked her body, making her convulse and shiver. Megamind stopped just at the moment it started to get too much for her to handle, and laid his head down on one of her thighs to catch his breath. His hands were still holding her by the waist, much more gentle now, slowly running up and down her flanks in a soothing manner. She reached up one trembling hand and laced her fingers with his.

For several long minutes, they simply lay there, breathless. Eventually, Megamind started to move, crawling up from between her legs and trailing lingering kisses up her body until his mouth was on hers. She could taste herself on his lips and looped her arms around his neck, groaning deep and throaty into his mouth.

“Miss Ritchi,” he whispered between one kiss and another, “Please *kiss* please can I *kiss* may I have you again? *kiss* Please Roxanne *kiss* let me taste you *kiss* one more time.”

Roxanne’s mind was still close to mush and her entire body was still tingly from that monster of an orgasm but she was pretty sure she just heard Megamind ask if he could eat her out again.

She pulled back and opened her eyes for the first time in a long while. Megamind was still fully clothed. He hadn’t even taken his shirt off. He just gave her the most incredible orgasm she had ever had and he wanted to try again?

“But…” she had to clear her throat and shake her head a little bit to get some clarity back. “But, what about you? Don’t you want to – ”

The look he gave her brough her up short. He smirked, raising one eye brow and huffed. Slowly, he leaned back down and left a lingering kiss on her lips. “Believe me, Roxanne, I felt everything you did.” And she blushed.

Oh. Yeah. Of course he did.

And, well, if that was the case, she would be a fool to say no and Roxanne was no fool.

She giggled and dove forward into another deep kiss. They didn’t leave her bed until well into the next morning.