Archive of Our Own ^beta

"What do you mean you aren't dating?!" Patton exclaimed, jumping up from his seat. 

Logan shrugged off the loud sound, shifting his gaze from his laptop to Remus. Remus was splayed over Logan's lap, twisted a bit to leave enough room for Logan to balance the laptop on his knees. He was currently gnawing on some piece of jerky that Logan knew better to ask the flavor of. Logan didn't especially... feel anything. 

"We simply are not dating," he responded to Patton's outburst. 

"But!" Patton protested, gesturing at the two of them emphatically. "You wouldn't let other people lay on you like that!" 

Logan looked down to Remus again. "I suppose you are correct in that. However, I don't believe that 'laying on one another' is any part of the requirements or description of dating." 

"I'm not all sappy like Roman," Remus added with a shrug. "Just not dating material."

Patton pouted, instead of being satisfied. "Don't go putting yourself down, mister!" 

Remus's mustache twisted as he frowned confusedly at Patton. 

Roman, who had been less invested than Patton in the question of whether or not Logan and Remus were dating, was brought into the conversation as Patton tugged at his sleeve pleadingly. "Sure you're dating material. You've got... good bits... somewhere in there." 

Remus cackled and sent Roman a suggestive look. "Oh yeah? Where inside me?" 

Roman groaned loudly, chucking a couch pillow at his brother. 

Logan blocked it, more because it was, in fact, going to hit his laptop, than because he felt Remus needed protection from the pillow. 

"See!" Patton said. "That's sweet! You're sweet with Remus!"

Logan sighed. "You act as though I would lie to you about our relationship status. There is no need to prove anything based on our actions." 

"Well, last time he had a suspicion about feelings," Roman said quietly. 

Logan had to concede that point. Janus had been lying about his relationship with Virgil, while Virgil hid details and generally backed up Janus without outright lying himself. It had relieved quite a bit of relational tension in the friend group when they had finally admitted that they were dating, and the mystery was no longer being probed into.

He did not want a repeat of that tension. 

"To my understanding, 'dating' is merely a label placed on relationships, and does not hold any inherent requirements in the label," Logan said. "Therefore, our relationship could be called dating or not called dating, without a significant difference in day to day actions. Remus, would you consent to calling our relationship 'dating'?" 

Remus shrugged. "Sure, why not?" 

"There." Logan said decisively. "Are you satisfied, Patton?" 

On the contrary, Patton looked dismayed. "That's not how dating works! You love each other!" 

Logan pursed his lips. "I do feel affection for Remus. He and I have consented to labeling ourselves." 

"Yeah, that's not really quite how it works, Specs," Roman said. 

Remus blew a raspberry in his direction. "It's none of your business, just help your boyfriend feel better and leave us alone. I can't even enjoy my crocodile--" 

"Crocodile?" Roman asked with a look of profound suspicion, partially drowning out the rest of Remus's flavor description. 

Patton's expression had turned to something emotional and confusing to Logan. "You two don't have to date if you don't want to, just for me." 

"Neither of us showed any sort of dislike for dating," Logan replied. "I am neutral to the label and desire our collective relationship to be without obstacle." 

Patton whined, clearly still emotional about this. Logan agreed with Remus that Roman ought to comfort him. Roman was far more adept at emotions in general and Patton in particular. 

"What do you want?" Remus asked, irritation coloring his tone. "Want us to make out in front of you or something?" 

Patton just made an even more unhappy expression, staying silent. 

"I'd prefer not engage in that publicly," Logan said to Remus as an aside. 

Roman scoffed. "You guys make out in private and that isn't dating to you?" 

"We simply have not labeled our relationship before," Logan protested, getting more frustrated that this was becoming a problem. "Neither of you have ever expressed any objections to the ways we interact before now. Why is this a problem now?" 

"We thought you were dating," Roman said. "You guys make sense for dating. It's not like, a problem." 

Logan huffed. "Then why are we having this conversation at all?" 

Remus sat up from Logan's lap, frowning. "Patton just got his panties in a twist about it." 

"Don't say that to Patton," Roman shot back, bristling. 

"Maybe we just... let it be?" Patton said conciliatorily. 

There was a moment of looking back and forth at each other, and then Remus shrugged, his frown melting into something mischievous. "Sure. So who's willing to give me notes on math from today? I skipped out." 

Logan crossed his arms over his chest. "I will not. It's important for each person to learn, not merely put down correct answers on tests." 

Their conversation shifted, becoming much lighter and more familiar to Logan. Everything with Remus was already good. They could call it dating or not, but whatever it was, it was valuable to him, and he never wanted it to change.