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Chapter Text

Julio is toweling off his hair, trying to remember where he left his hair tie, when he walks into his room and gets smacked in the face with the smell.  It's rich and cloying and organic and he can practically taste it.  Omega in heat.  He freezes, hackles raised.  Tastes the air and there's something weirdly familiar about the scent.  He closes the door behind him, and what he previously assumed was a lump of blankets on his bed starts growling.  

"Wha-" he manages, tasting the smell on his tongue, a little dizzy with it.  "Tabby?  You need me to get Sam?"

He remembers when they were both kids with X-Factor and Tabby had her first heat.  That young, it isn't a sexual thing, but he remembers how scared she'd been.  How she'd screamed at him to leave her alone with a crack in her voice.  He's protective, sue him, especially once she'd told him about her time on the streets.  He tries not to think about it too much, but he's keenly aware that as bad as the Right was, it could've been a lot worse if he'd manifested as an omega instead of a beta.

He's got no idea why she would come to him first when Sam is just down the hall, but she used to say that he and Skids smelled "safe".  It's a weird feeling of not being man enough mixed with relief that he's at least good for something.

Another growl, and he reassess because that's not Tabby.  The smell's got a weird metallic tinge that's different from Tabby's scent.  It's simultaneously familiar and alien.  It takes a minute to click; it smells like Shatterstar.  Aerosol and copper and sweat and something softer, like melting butter or brown sugar.

He clears his throat.  "Hey, uh, Star?  That you, dude?"

It can't be.  Shatterstar's an alien.  He doesn't have a secondary gender.  He's a clone and literally came out of a test tube.  Not to mention, guys aren't omegas.  At least, being one as a guy is really really rare and makes you a freak of nature.  But he knows the smell, the overwhelming musk of an omega in heat, and Star's always been weird as hell.

Another growl, and the blankets shift enough that he can see two eyes shining out from underneath, like a cat's at night.  Definitely Star.

"Hey, man," he says, voice cracking a little.  He shoves the what the fuck feeling to the back of his mind.  So Shatty's an omega.  That's, like, the least weird thing Julio's found out about him so far, if he's being honest.  "Is it okay if I come closer?"

The blankets shift, and Shatterstar grumbles but doesn't growl at him.  Cool.  Awesome.  He'll take that as a yes.  He walks over to the bed slowly, hands where Star can see them.  He's jumpy as hell on a good day, and this definitely isn't that.  He crouches down, very aware that he's putting himself face-to-face with an extremely dangerous, stab-happy alien in heat.  God, how does he get himself in these situations?

"So, uh, you're an omega.  That's... cool."  He cringes.  Great start, Julio.  "Why didn't you say anything?"

Shatterstar growls, low and deep and rough in a way that sets Julio's hair on end.  He sounds like an angry cat, a whine tinging the growl, and Julio really hopes he isn't about to get his face clawed off.  Metaphorically.

"Dude," he says, "I'm not gonna hurt you.  I mean, I'm a beta.  It's not like-" he pauses.  Rakes a hand through his hair.  Wonders if maybe that's exactly why Star is hiding in his bed.

"I do not understand," comes Shatty's voice, rough and raw.  "You speak like this is normal."

Julio swallows.  "I mean, this isn't your first heat, right?"

Star hisses again.  "That word.  I do not know why you are using it."

He inhales sharply, getting a lungful of Star smell that makes him dizzy.  "Oh wow.  Uh.  So this isn't normal on Mojoworld either?"

Shatterstar peers out from his nest to give him a withering look, seeming put upon by all the questions.  "No.  Clearly, I am defective in some way."

"You're somethin' alright," Julio says, a little laughter in his voice despite it all.

Shatterstar makes another rumbling noise low in his throat and settles deeper in the blankets.  He's burrowing in, and Julio is reminded of how animals will hide when they think they're dying.  It makes his stomach twist. 

"Hey," he says, softening his voice.  "C'mon, man, talk to me.  I wanna help you get through this."  He flushes.  That came out wrong.  "I mean, not like that, but just..." he trails off, not sure how to phrase this without sounding like an ass.  "I'm gonna get you some water, okay?"

Tabby always got really thirsty during her heart.  She also had weird cravings.  She used to complain that it was like a second period every four months.

He gets up to leave, but Star's hand shoots out from under the blankets and grips his wrist, hard.  "Please," and oh, he sounds bad, "Do not leave."

Julio laughs nervously.  "I'll be right back, amigo.  I promise."

Shatty grumbles again, but lets go of him.

Julio rubs his wrist, wincing.  That one might actually bruise.  "I'm gonna get you some water and, uh, a snack.  Okay?  That sound good?"

Star relents, and Julio nods, about-facing and fleeing the room.  He makes it halfway to the kitchen before he realizes that maybe he should tell someone else about this.  He's heard that late heats can kill an omega, or just generally be super unpleasant to deal with alone, and that's for normal omegas.  Star's had a lifetime of unpleasant, deadly experiences, though, so he considers his options.  There's Cable, which, absolutely fucking not.  None of the old bastard's business, alpha status be damned.  Sam might be a better option, but he's dating Tabby and then there's the whole guy thing.   He shoves his hands in his pockets.  He'll just have to wing it.  Star wouldn't want people knowing that he's all vulnerable like this anyhow.

Sam's in the kitchen, but Julio avoids any conversation by some miracle, rummaging through the cupboards and pulling out the sugariest cereal he can find before snagging a bottle of water.  Maybe he slams the fridge door a little too hard, but he always makes things rattle so Sam doesn't seem to notice.

He heads back to their room, and has the insane urge to knock even though this is his room too.  After a second he actually does it.  Better to let Star know he's coming than surprise him.

"Hey," he says as he shuts the door behind him, "I'm back.  I brought you some cereal."

Shatterstar's still burrowed under the blankets, but he makes a curious noise and shuffles around a bit.  Finally, his head pokes up from the bundle.  Julio inhales as the smell sharpens.  Star looks wrecked; he's flushed like he's got a fever, which he might, and his pupils are blown wide.  He sways a little and looks at Julio, making a single burning second of eye-contact before looking away.  Julio swallows, shuffling over to the bed and holding out the cereal.  He gets a better look at Shatty and realizes something.  

"Hang on," he says, face burning, "Is that my shirt?"

Star is wearing one of his t-shirts, one that he's been looking for for the past week or so.  His eyes narrow and he snatches to cereal with a grumble. 

"Dude, I know you can talk," Julio says, flabbergasted. 
 
Shatty wolfs down some cereal and snatches the water bottle from where Julio set it on the bed.  He shifts on the bed again, studying him.
  
"Star," he says, sitting down next to him on the bed, "C'mon.  Tell me how to help."

Shatterstar studies him for a bit longer, then seems to find whatever he's looking for, because he rasps, "I do not know..."

"What happened on Mojoworld?  Didn't other people have stuff like this go down?"

Star nods, gulping down more of the water.  Then he winces, hand fluttering to his stomach.  Julio reaches out on instinct to do- something, he's not sure -but Star growls at him again, teeth bared.  He freezes, a little hurt and a little guilty that he's hurt.

"Hey," he says again, trying to soothe him.  "You're safe here.  No one's gonna do anything you don't want."

Another reason he didn't get anyone else.  Star's freak out with the girl  at the Drone Club was only a few nights ago and it still sits fresh and uncomfortable in Julio's mind.  This would be like that, but on freaking steroids.  Who knows how Star would react to it?

"There were-" Shatterstar starts, then gulps down even more water.  The bottle's half empty already.  "There were slaves who..." he trails off, sitting up.  "I want my swords," he says abruptly, and it's a little like a kid asking for their favorite stuffed animal.  Pouty and and tremorous.

"Okay," Julio says, a little surprised Shatty doesn't already have them in his bundle of blankets.  "I'll get 'em for you."

He can feel Star's eyes on his back as he grabs the swords from their sheathes and brings them over to the bed.  Star's bed sits empty, made with a uniform military precision that is just how Cable likes it.  He wonders idly if being an omega is why Shatty likes taking orders so much, then immediately feels queasy and guilty about it.  Tabby's an omega, and she's the most rebellious person Julio has ever met.

"Here," he says, handing Shatterstar his swords.  He shakes out his hands, feeling the left over vibrations from the blades clashing with his own natural vibes.  He's the only one of them who can grab the swords without almost breaking a bone.  When Star takes them but doesn't say anything, Julio clicks his tongue.  "Háblame, por favor," he says.  Situation's like this are why Shatty learned Spanish, after all.

Shatterstar grips the blades, running his thumbs over the leather grips like he's soothing himself.  "Se los llevaron," he says, clipped and formal but it makes the hair on the back of Julio's neck stand up.  "We were told it was because they were faulty."

Julio swallows, feeling a little sick.  "Did any of them come back?"

Shatty stares for a long time.  "None that I can recall," he says finally.

Alright.  So Mojoworld is a fucked up place.  He knew that already.  "That's not gonna happen here," Julio says.

Shatterstar eyes him suspiciously.  "Do not lie to make me feel better," he says, shuddering.  "I am broken.  Useless now.  I will be canceled."

"No," he snaps.  "No, even if that's how we did things here, I wouldn't let that happen.  You're my friend."

Star's eyes go wide and shiny, and Julio thinks for one horrifying second that he's going to start crying.  He wouldn't know how to handle a crying Shatterstar.  

"Oh," Star croaks, sounding like he hasn't had water in days.

"Yeah," he says, feeling weirdly embarrassed by his outburst.  "This is all, uh, well it's not exactly normal but..." he trails off, one hand coming up to his mouth.  He chews at his thumbnail as he thinks.  "Did anyone ever explain heats and shit to you?"

Shatty shakes his head.  Julio internally groans.  Great.  This is just great.  "Do you know where they took the slaves-" and he hates that word because Star isn't that, not anymore "-who were, uh, faulty?"

Shatterstar looks down at his lap.  "There were rumors.  Physical coupling is not common, but-"

"Yeah," Julio cuts him off, still extremely grossed out by the concept.  He really fucking hates Mojoworld.  Hates that this is a conversation that they have to have at all.  "Yeah, it's like that."

Shatty looks horrified.  "No," he says, curling in on himself.  "I will not  do this.  You say that on Earth I- I am allowed to make choices.  I do not want to do this."

"Then you don't gotta," Julio says, trying to get him to calm down.  The smell is eye-watering at this point, and he knows that he's lying to Star.  "I mean, maybe it's not too late for suppressants or something?"

He's really grasping at straws here.

Shatterstar is shivering even under the blankets, looking sweaty and feverish and absolutely miserable.  If Julio were an alpha, he could make it go away for him.  He pushes that thought aside furiously.  Even if he were, Star made his opinions about that clear.  He doesn't want sex from Julio or anyone else.  So, there's no point in even thinking about it.

"What if it is too late?" Star asks, studying him with glassy eyes.

Julio hesitates.  "I mean... You either die or-" he swallows.  "It wouldn't be like Mojoworld.  It would be one of the team, not some stranger."

Shatty straightens a little.  Squints at him.  "Could it be you?" he asks.

He chokes on his own tongue a bit.  "I mean-" again, his brain is melting.  "I mean, I couldn't knot you-" he flushes, and he's sure he's bright red.  "It wouldn't feel as good as with an alpha.  But..."  He shrugs helplessly.

"But I would not die," Star says, sharp eyed and cutting right to the core of what Julio isn't saying.

"No," he says, swallowing.  "You wouldn't."

"Okay," Star says, setting his swords aside.

Julio stares at him, the word not making sense.  It's like his grasp on English has left the building entirely.  "Okay, what?"

"I want it to be you, then," Star says, completely un-self conscious.  "You are my best friend."  He says it like it makes perfect sense, like it's the only reason he would ever need for this.

"But you said you didn't..."

"I do not want what they do on Mojoworld," Shatty clarifies, a little sharp.  "You are different."

"I'm not gonna be as good as an alpha," Julio warns him.  "And I've never even, y'know, gone the distance with a girl."

"Well then it is a good thing I am not a girl," Shatterstar says, and he's teasing now, Julio can tell.

He exhales, scrubbing a hand over his face.  "Uh, right.  Okay."  He scoots closer to Star, feeling awkward and so bad at this even though they haven't done anything yet.  "I'm gonna kiss you.  That cool?"

Shatterstar nods.  This close, Julio can see just how flushed and sweaty he is, the way his eyes have glazed over a bit.  Despite the fact that Star is one of his best friends, they don't touch all that much.  They've wrestled some, because Shatty is violent and not great at casual touch, and maybe Julio will tug at his ponytail playfully or knock their shoulders together, but he's never touched Star's face.  Not like this, with intent.

He cups Star's jaw and leans in until their noses are touching.  Their knees are pressing together awkwardly and even sitting down and with Star slouching like he is, he's still a little taller than Julio.  Tall enough that he has to crane his neck to kiss him.

When their mouths touch, Shatterstar jolts bodily, like an electric current is running through his body.  Julio pulls back, exhaling, about to ask, but then Star's mouth is back on his and that doesn't really seem to matter much.  Their noses press together and Star isn't touching him at all save for the kiss, but he's making these breathy little noises as Julio combs his fingers through his loose hair.  He's only seen Star's hair down a handful of times, but it makes him look so much softer.  Like a real person.  He can't stop petting it, the sweaty strands clinging to his fingers like spiderwebs.

One of his thumbs sweeps down, just under Shatty's jaw, and he whines, hands coming up to fist in Julio's shirt and yank at the fabric.  Scent glands.  Right.  Julio pulls back, images of biting that sensitive, swollen spot flickering through his head.

"That feel good?" he asks, trying to be suave.

Star just pounces on him in response, pressing his own fingers to the same spot on Julio's jaw.    His glands aren't as developed as an alpha or an omega's, but they still get plenty sensitive.  It's a vestigial thing, apparently, but it doesn't feel vestigial when Shatty's pressing on it like that.  He's mimicking the pressure, playing with it.  Trying to copy what made him feel good, Julio guesses even as his brain is leaking out of his ears because that feels so good.

He tips his head back, letting Shatterstar do whatever the hell he wants.  This is for him.  Julio's just a willing warm body.  Anything he gets out of it is secondary to Star not dying.

Star presses hard enough to bruise and Julio sees stars.  "Fuck," he pants, hands gripping and twisting in Star's silky hair.  "Don't stop, please."

Shatty presses closer and replaces his fingers with his mouth and holy hell, Julio might die from this.  He straight up just might die.  He falls back on the mattress, his head clipping the headboard but not caring because Shatterstar is a warm weight on top of him and he's hard, wriggling against him and burning hot even through his clothes.  He lets go of Star's hair and shoves his hands under his shirt to feel over his back and down, dipping under his waistline.  Star bites him, hard.

Julio wraps his legs around Star's waist flips them so he's the one on top, grinning down at him breathlessly.  His neck aches, like he's gonna have bruises tomorrow, but he doesn't give a shit.  "Where'd you learn how to do that?" he asks.

"Pornography," Star says shamelessly, hair fanning out over the pillow.

Julio snorts, lowering himself so he's propped up on one arm.  "You finally figured out jerking off?"

He scoffs.  "No.  I was simply doing research.  You all seem to consider sex an interesting conversational topic, so I needed to discover why."

Julio has to laugh at that, at the expression on Star's face.  "Well, I'd say it paid off."  He lowers his mouth to Star's neck, pressing a light kiss to his own gland.

The reaction is immediate.  Shatty's hips jerk up, making Julio groan against his neck.  Hands, which had been previously kept pretty close to Star's chest, grab at his shirt and yank so hard the fabric rips at the seams.  Shatterstar freezes, pressing himself back against the bed like he thinks he's done something wrong.

Julio sits up, putting his weight on Star's crotch, and shrugs the remains of his shirt off.  Trying to be sexy and feeling like a complete idiot.  But Shatterstar is watching him with wide eyes and blown pupils and after a delayed moment he scrambles to pull off his own shirt.  Then he's grabbing at Julio's shoulders and pulling him down for another kiss.

They make out like that for a while, shirtless and pressed together and maybe putting off the inevitable for a little bit.  Just trying to enjoy themselves like everything is normal, like Julio isn't worried he's not gonna be enough for Star.

Eventually, they do end up naked.  Shatterstar is flushed all the way down to his impressive dick and Julio feels inadequate and turned on and scared shitless all at once.  Star's out of it too, and Julio feels awful for him.  He wishes this were under better circumstances.  He wishes Star didn't have to deal with yet another way his body is out of his control.

Once they're both as ready as they can be, Julio pulls away and grabs for the condom he keeps in his wallet in case he gets lucky that's been sitting in there for over two years.  He rolls it on with fumbling hands and realizes he doesn't have any lube.  He also realizes it probably won't matter because Star is wet and leaking onto the sheets.

"Hey," he says lamely, putting a hand on Star's thigh.  "M'gonna, uh-" he really has no idea what to say, so he kisses Shatty's shoulder and puts a hand between his legs.

He's slick and tight around Julio's fingers, and even tighter around his dick.  Shatterstar's entire body arches off the bed with the first thrust, and he grabs at the sheets so hard they rip audibly.  It's hot, and also mildly terrifying because it means Star's not controlling his strength at all.  Julio goes completely still, trying not to give it up immediately.  Star already has twice, once from them making out and a second time from when Julio was opening him up, and it's an ego boost.  Or it would be, if Julio didn't figure anyone touching Star right now would get a similar reaction.

Shatterstar whines incoherently and claws at him, shoving his face right up against Julio's scent glands and rubbing his cheek against them.  It feels dizzingly good, and he can't help but find a rhythm as he brings them both off as many times as he can.

After, Julio lays there dazed and sleepy, Shatterstar still clenched around him.  Julio can't knot him, but Star's body doesn't seem to care.  Star himself has latched on just as tight, clinging like an octopus with his face still buried in Julio's neck.  It's kinda nice, the cuddling, even if he feels raw and a little chafed from it all.  His thighs ache and he's thirsty and sticky, but Shatty's alive and that's really what matters.  He pets Shatterstar's hair, still obsessed with the feeling of it between his fingers.  It's so soft, and it smells like bubblegum.  He lazily presses a kiss to the skin behind Star's ear, just to soothe him.  The action seems to make Star melt into him a little more, his breath tickling Julio's neck.  It's really nice to just lay here with him like this.

"You feelin' any better?" he asks softly, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yes," Star hums lazily.  "Less like, ah, something is wrong with the body."

"That's good," Julio says, his other hand tracing Shatty's naked spine.  He hisses when the action makes Star wriggle.  He never thought he could get tired of sex, not that he is.  It's just a lot of sex all at once.  "I'm glad, man.  And you didn't, uh, hate it?"

He doesn't think Star hated it, but he feels like he should ask.

Shatterstar pauses, seeming to roll it around in his head.  "No," he settles on.  "It was not... Like I feared.  And you smell nice," he adds, nuzzling at Julio's neck again.

"Cool," Julio says, flustered.  "I really didn't wanna make you do anything you didn't want to.  I never wanna do that to you."  His throat feels tight.

Shatty wriggles, lifting his head to look Julio in the eyes.  "That is why I trust you," he says.  "You... care," he settles on, nose wrinkling like that isn't the word he was looking for.

"'Course I care," Julio says, throat still tight.  He feels weirdly emotional about this.  "You're my best friend, dude."

His eyes seem to soften, and he nods.  "And you are mine.  That is why I decided it would be you, if I had to do this."

With that mindfuck of a statement, Star shoves his face back into Julio's neck and they lay there like that until Julio is able to pull out of him.  And then they lay there for a little longer.

Chapter Text

"Julio!" his mama calls from the kitchen, "There is an American man on the phone for you!"

Julio sighs, setting down the copy of the Two Towers he's been reading.  "Tell him I don't wanna talk to him!" he shouts back.  

"Julio!" she says, poking her head into the living room.  "I didn't raise you to be rude to your elders."

He groans, getting to his feet.  "Fine.  I'll talk to him."  He takes the phone from her and isn't surprised to hear Cable on the other end.  "Didn't know you spoke Spanish," he says into the receiver before Cable can get more than a word out, switching to English. 

"I speak a lot of languages," Cable says dryly.  "You need to come back."

"I told you, I'm taking time off," he snaps.  "God, you never listen to anything I say, do you?  You're such a-"

"It's Shatterstar," Cable says.

Julio stops in his tracks.  "What do you mean?  Don't be so freaking cryptic.  Is he okay?"  Worry drowns out his annoyance, though he tries not to let it leak into his voice.

"This really isn't something you should find out over the phone," Cable says.  

"Oh screw you," he hisses, ready to slam the phone in the cradle.  

"He's pregnant," Cable says.  "You wouldn't happen to know how that happened, would you?"

His mouth goes dry and he glances back at his mom on reflex, like he thinks maybe she heard and is gonna have a fit about this.  She doesn't even know he's-  He hasn't told anyone.

"He doesn't have a secondary gender," Julio tries weakly to argue.  

"Rictor," Cable says flatly, "I'm a telepath, and Shatterstar's shielding is extremely weak."

"Fuck you," he snaps.  "This is why I left!"

"So you're not going to come back, even though this is on you?  I had more faith in your... friendship with Shatterstar."

He pushes down another well of rage at the insinuation.  "I used a fucking condom, asshole."  He swallows.  "And yeah, I'll come back.  For Star, not 'cause you asked or nothin'."  Even to his own ears, he sounds like a pouting kid.  "I can catch a plane and be there by tomorrow."

"I'll send a car when you're back.  Do you need money for plane tickets?"

"Fuck off," he snaps, and hangs up.

He stands there for a moment, staring at the wall.  His first knee jerk reaction is to run, or to find a gun and blow his brains out.  He's shaking, hard enough that the wall are shaking with him.  He tries to get a grip on himself, watching the cupboard rattle.   A coffee cup skitters to the edge of the counter and falls to the floor with a crash.  He jumps, staring at it.  

"Julio!" his mom says, running into the kitchen.

She stands in the doorway like she's afraid to get too close to him, and that's what snaps him out of it.  He takes a short gasping breath, grabbing the counter so his legs don't give out.  He reels himself back in, pulling away from the crushing panic until the earth stills.  He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a few more deep breaths.  

"M'okay," he says, still shaking slightly.  "It's okay, Mama."

"What happened, Julio?  Who was that man?"

"My... teacher," he says.  He feels shitty for lying to her, but the idea of telling the truth makes him feel sick.  "One of my friends is... sick.  Really sick.  I need to go back and see him."

She makes a sympathetic sound, putting a hand on his back.  "I see.  You are a good friend, Julio."

"Sure," he says, throat closing up.  

"Look at me, my son," she says, and he does.  She makes a clucking noise, like she used to when he would come home with scraped knees and tears in his eyes.  "Oh Julio.  My sweet boy.  You will go see your friend, and you will call me and tell me, okay?"

He nods, chest aching.  He doesn't deserve this.  She wouldn't want anything to do with him if she knew the truth.

"Let me get my purse," she says patting his cheek before bustling through the kitchen.  "I will drive you to the airport."

"You don't have to do that," he protests weakly.

"What kind of mother would I be if I did not see you off when you're so upset?  Go pack your things and I will take you."

He does as he's told, moving half on autopilot as he throws his clothes into his suitcase.  He grabs his book for the flight, not that he thinks he'll be able to focus at all, and drags everything outside where the car is waiting.  His mom is in the driver's seat, and she clicks her tongue when she sees his obvious distress. 

"Your friend will be okay, Julio.  Which one is he, from the picture you showed me?  The blond one?"

He shakes his head.  "No, uh, the one with the red hair.  Star."  Even just saying that much feels like she'll hear something in his voice and know.

"Oh yes," she says, "With the strange tattoo.  He is very handsome.  You two must get lots of attention from the girls."

He feels an aching twist in his chest at that.  "Yeah," he agrees.

"He looks like a strong young man, I'm certain he will recover before you even arrive."

"I hope so," is all he can say.  

Getting his ticket and getting through security feels like sleepwalking.  He's staring off into space, book open on his lap as he tries to think of what the hell he's supposed to do now.  Shatterstar's knocked up and it's his fault.  Cable knows, which means everyone else probably knows too.  There's no way they don't.  He's so unbelievably fucked. He almost misses his plane he's so out of it.  The entire flight back to the states, he stares out the window and tries his best not to freak out and shake the plane to pieces.  Pregnant, his brain chirps the entire way there, he's pregnant and it's yours. It just doesn't feel real at all.  He's barely nineteen, he can't have a kid.  He'd be a shit dad anyway.  He never even thought he'd live long enough to have a kid.  Christ. Between him and Star, the kid's practically doomed already.  It's a mean thought, but one he can't quite shake as the plane is landing.  He hates flying, so he's almost relieved to be back on the ground again.  Almost, because he's sick with nerves over this.  He bounces his leg and chews his thumbnail until his cuticle bleeds all through the flight. The taste of copper in his mouth just makes his nausea worse, but the pain is grounding.  It's not like he can pull out a razor and slit his wrists anymore.  He rubs idly at his scars.  God, with his luck the baby will inherit his fucked up brain.  He knows it's supposed to run in his family on his birth mom's side.  He's got an aunt that just up and went crazy one day.  He'll be lucky if he doesn't lose it too.

True to Cable's word, there's a car waiting for him.  Out of the people who could be there to drive him, Jimmy is a bad but not a total nightmare.  He's playing his emo shit, but Julio doesn't necessarily mind it right now.  It fits his crappy mood. The entire drive back, he fidgets in the passenger seat, wondering when Jimmy is gonna drop the act and start laying into him.  He wonders why the hell Cable even called him back at all.  It doesn't make sense. There's no way they want him around after this.  Shatterstar is useful, at least.  Well, maybe not anymore.  He's at least obedient, a perfect soldier that follows orders.  All Julio ever does is screw shit up for himself and everyone else.  Case in point: Star being pregnant.

It's cold, even with the heater on and his hoodie zipped all the way up, and he keeps bouncing his leg.  It's half anxiety, half trying to keep himself warm.  Jimmy still hasn't said anything and it makes him so nervous he can't help but blurt, "Whatever you're gonna say, say it."

Jimmy doesn't take his eyes off the road.  "I don't have anything to say, Ric."

He scoffs.  "Sure you don't."

Jimmy shrugs.  "Do you want me to say something?  Because honestly I'm surprised you came back at all."

"Oh, fuck you," he snaps, even though he asked for it.  "I'm an asshole, but I'm not- I wouldn't run out like that."

Jimmy finally looks at him, seemingly unimpressed.  "You realize how much like bullshit that sounds, right?"

He sags in his seat, looking out the window as his skin prickles with discomfort.  "I told him I'd come back if he needed me," he mutters.

"Okay," Jimmy says.  "Again, I wasn't gonna hassle you about it.  You're the one that asked."

"How pissed are the others?" he asks, drumming his fingers on the windowsill.  

"No one's pissed," Jimmy says.  "Well," he ammends, "Meltdown might be, but not because you knocked your boyfriend up."

"He's not my fucking boyfriend!" Julio snaps, sitting upright.  "And who the hell is Meltdown?  You guys replace me already?"

Jimmy's brows shoot up his forehead and he whistles.  "Tabitha," he says, not addressing his panicked denial at all.  "She cut her hair and changed her name.  You're not the only one having a crisis.  Jesus, calm down."

Julio huffs, returning to his important task of glaring at out the window like the mountains in the distance have personally offended him.  "What happened to living at the school?" he asks.  They're even more in the middle of nowhere than they were at Xavier's, which sucks ass.  

Not that he necessarily hated when they were living in Camp Verde surrounded by nothing but earth for miles, but that had more to do with the fact that Julio could get some privacy if he walked far enough into the desert that anything else.  If he needed to let loose, he could do it and the team would be none the wiser.  With all the trees and steep terrain, Julio can't do that without risking causing serious damage.  He hates feeling so hyperaware of that.  He only really feels it when he stands in the middle of the Times Square, staring up at all the buildings and thinking about how he could bring it all down if he wanted to.

Jimmy shrugs. "Cable thought it was time to move, I guess.  A lot went down while you were gone, Ric."

"I know," he mutters.  He shifts uncomfortably, pulling his hoodie tighter around his body.  "How, uh, how's Star doin'?"

"He's okay," Jimmy says after a moment.  "Freaked out, and he's a little... confused, but he's okay."

Guilt surges in Julio's gut, and he nods, jaw set.  He can feel Jimmy's eyes on him, and he swallows.  "He's not, uh, sick too much?"

Jimmy shrugs.  "Not really my business, you know how he gets, but as far as I can tell he's pretty normal for three months along."

The words, said so casually, twinge through him.  "Good," Julio says vaguely, "That's good..."

He spends the rest of the trip up to Cable's secret paranoia bunker in the mountains chewing on his thumbnail until it bleeds and staring out the window while the whiney strains of Jimmy's music filter through the speakers.  The closer they get, the more nervous he feels.  His stomach twists itself into knots until he swears he's gonna vomit.  He rolls down the window despite the cold, trying to stop the queasiness from overwhelming him.  When the roll to a stop, he stumbles out of it on trembling legs.  He presses his hand to a nearby tree, curling in on himself.  

"Oh fuck," he says.  "Shit, I can't do this.  Shit."  He presses his other hand in a fist against his mouth.  The ground underneath him shivers and for one great and terrible second he's sure he's about to lose all control.

Jimmy stands there, a solid pillar against the earth.  "Surprised it took you this long to freak out," he says evenly.  

"You didn't see me when Cable called," Julio says without thinking, once he no longer feels like he's gonna vomit all over his shoes.  He stands and straightens his shoulders.  "Fuck it, let's go."

He remembers one if his cousins having cancer when he wad very young.  Too young to really understand what has happening, just that someone in his family was very very sick.  One of his first introductions to death that was almost natural, caused not by the violence of men but the uncaring cruelty of nature.  Walking into the bunker makes him feel like he's six years old and walking into the big hospital in Guadalajara to see his cousin who was the kind of sick you don't come back from.  It wasn't the first funeral Julio had ever been to, but it was the first time a family member other than his birth mother had died without the intervention of another person. It's that same sorta about to walk off the edge of a cliff feeling that makes him sick to his stomach.  Except it's worse because this time he did it to himself. He follows Jimmy like a man going to his death, nerves frayed and teeth set on edge.  He hopes Jimmy will just take him to see Shatterstar and it'll be just the two of them, but he's got the world's worst luck apparently so instead he walks into a room with Cable and the rest of the team.  He resists the urge to turn on his heels and walk right back out the door, because fuck this.

Instead, he slouches and raises a hand in a wave.  "Uh," he says, "Hey."

Roberto grins at him, the kind of grin where he's about to open his mouth and make a shitty joke.  Julio glares at him as hrd as he can, sending a silent shut the fuck up his way.  Beto closes his mouth, but the shit eating grin stays.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Rictor," Cable says, in that even tone that always sets Julio's teeth on edge.  

"Where is he?" he snaps, hands shoved deep into his pockets so no one sees them shaking.

"What, no hello for me?" Tabby snipes.  Like Jimmy said, her hair is shorter than he's ever seen it and she's got a restlessness in the way she moves that he clocks instantly.  

"Heya Tabs," he mumbles.

She huffs, but looks mollified.  

"Shatterstar is in his room," Cable tells him.  

Julio sends Jimmy a deeply wounded look because why the hell didn't he just bring him right there so he could avoid the welcome wagon from hell.  Jimmy ignores him.

"Great," he says flatly.  "I'm gonna go see him now, if you all are done staring at me like I kicked your dog."

"Rictor," Cable says, and Julio groans aloud.  

"Literally, can you just fuck right off?" he snaps.  "I told you on the phone, I only came back for Star."

"Wo-ow," Tabby drawls, "Who pissed in your Fruit Loops this morning?"

When he and Tabs were with X-Factor, they used to get in screaming matches so loud Jean would make them go sit at opposite ends of Ship until they calmed down.  It hasn't happened in years, but he remembers vividly how they would get to that point as he glares at her.

"I dunno," he snaps back, "Maybe the fact that I don't wanna be here is putting me in a bad mood."

She rolls her eyes and flips him off.  

"Seriously," he says, rounding back on Cable, "I'm gonna go see Star, and the rest of you are gonna leave me be.  I don't want a fuckin' lecture."

"Well, ye shoudla thought a that before ye knocked Shatty up," Terry pipes up, arms crossed.  She looks pissed at him.  

"Hey," he snaps at her, "Here's a thought: mind your own fucking business and stop leading Jimmy on because watching him follow you around like a sad puppy is really pathetic."

"Hey!" Jimmy snaps, stepping in between them, "Don't take your bad mood out on her!"

"What are you gonna do about it?" he snaps, "hit me?"

If he were in his right mind, he would never pick a fight with Jimmy, who's taller than Star and outweighs him by a lot.  But he's not, and so he lets his powers shake the room a bit.

"Dude," Jimmy just says, a wounded look on his face.

"Alright," Domino sighs.  Julio jumps, because he hadn't even noticed her in the corner.  "As fun as it is watching you have a meltdown, that's enough.  C'mon, Shakey."  She grabs him by the arm and drags him out of the room.

"Don't fucking touch me!" he snaps, trying to yank out of her grip.  He's shaking, anger and guilt and fear coursing through him in a nauseating cocktail.  But Domino's grip is like iron. 

"Quit whining, I'm doing your dumbass a favor.  Teenagers," she grumbles, "You all act like the world is fuckin' ending at the drop of a hat." She practically throws him and he smacks into the wall with a wheeze.  "Calm down," she says, voice low.  "This is your mess.  Buckle down or don't, I don't give a shit.  But don't do this in public.  It's embarrassing."

He stares at her, then nods.  "Fine," he snaps.  "Just tell me where Shatterstar is and you won't have to see me anymore."

She nods at a door to his right.  "He's in there."

He turns around to stare at the door, and when he looks back over his shoulder, Domino is gone.  He swallows roughly, then knocks.

Chapter Text

The door to Shatterstar's room opens a crack, and even just that lets out Star's familiar scent tinged with something extra.  Julio inhales reflexively, his stomach flip flopping nervously.  He runs a hand through his hair and tries his best not to look too freaked out.  

Shatty peaks out at him, squinting.  For a second, there's a weird expression on his face, almost like Star doesn't recognize him.  But it passes so quickly that Julio is sure he imagined it.  The expression that replaces it is wide-eyed and overwhelming relieved.  Like Shatterstar's looking at something he can't quite believe is real.

"Julio?" he says, a surprised smile splitting his face.  

"Yeah man," Julio says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  "Uh, surprise?"

Shatty opens his door the rest of the way, and now Julio can see all of him.  The harsh overhead lighting doesnt hide much, and Star's wearing a tight shirt.  It's not as obvious as Julio was imagining, but then he doesn't really have a good grasp on what pregnancy looks like at three months along.  It's definitely... visible.  It makes him feel nervous and dizzy all over again, breaking the fragile illusion of normalcy that had fallen over them.

Shatterstar catches him looking, and he shifts a little.  "I am, ah-"

"I know," Julio says.  "Cable called me.  That's, uh, that's why I came back.  I told you I would if you needed me."

Star gets a funny look on his face at that.  Almost... like he doesn't believe it.  Or he thinks Julio is lying to him.  "You did not return my calls," he says uncertainly.  

Ouch.  "I got the voicemails," he says, "I was just..." 

He wonders why Star didn't tell him about the pregnancy in one of those calls, why he had to hear about it from Cable.  He wants to say pride, that Shatty thought it would be a slight to his honor to admit to weakness or some shit.  But that feels like an excuse.  Maybe he really didn't think Julio would come back if he told him.  Maybe Shatterstar was worried it would scare him off for good this time.  

It's not like he gave Star a reason to think otherwise.

He swallows, throat suddenly tight.  Crosses his arms.  "Can I come in?"

"Yes," Shatty says, opening the door wider and stepping back, "Of course."   He pauses, a pained expression.  "I missed you very much."

Well doesn't that just make him feel like shit.

He steps into Star's room, arms still crossed like he needs to protect himself.  Ha.  Like he isn't the one that caused this mess in the first place.  The room is a little messy by Shatterstar standards, which is to say there's a shirt hanging out of the hamper and the bed is made with less than military precision.  There's a strip of photos from some kitschy photobooth pinned up next to a polaroid Julio recognizes.  Him and Star, motion blurred because they were both laughing.  It makes his chest hurt.  The strip of photos shows Terry and Shatterstar, their firey heads pressed together.  They could be twins, if you didn't hear them speak. Terry's also an alpha.  It makes Julio feel a sickening sense of jealousy.  Alphas and omegas are built to be together, just like men and women.  That's how things are.  Just because Julio helped Shatty through one heat doesn't mean he can satisfy his needs like an alpha could.  Terry could do that for Star, if he wanted her to.  She certainly wouldn't have been stupid enough to knock him up.  

Shatterstar closes the door, and a hush falls over the room.  With the door closed, the smell has intensified.  It's Star's normal smell, tinged with something powdery and milky.  Pregnancy hormones, Julio realizes, flushing red.

"I missed you too," he says belatedly.  Awkward awkward awkward, his brain chirps over and over.  "For the record."

He can't stop staring at Star's stomach.  The subtle curve of it under his shirt.  It makes him feel restless, nervous and like a kid about to get in trouble.  A tangible manifestation of his bad decisions and impulsiveness.  He wonders if Star hates him for this.  For doing something to his body, like Mojo's goons did.  He's just as bad as all of those fuckers, hurting Shatterstar for his own enjoyment.  He really should just find a tall building and throw himself off it.  

But he can't, because he made this mess and now he has to clean it up.  

"Are you..." he swallows, "You feelin' okay?"

Shatty shrugs.  "I am sick in the mornings," he says.  Fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.  "And I keep wanting to eat blueberries."

Julio laughs.  He doesn't mean to, Shatty just sounds so put upon about it all.  "Sorry," he says.  "Fuck, sorry, I'm not laughing at you.  It's just, blueberries?"

Star's eyes crinkle minutely, his version of a grin.  "I had only ever had them once before but now I crave them constantly.  At least they are filled with nutrients."

"Yeah, could be worse," Julio supposes.

"Yes," Shatterstar agrees, and then the brief moment of mirth disappears from his face.  He frowns deeply.  "Are you staying?"

Julio winces.  There it is.  "I... I guess that depends."

  "What do you want?" Star begs, "I will do it.  Please don't leave me again."

Julio just feels sick at that.  He thought if he gave Star space, he'd adjust to his absence eventually.  But it seems like it just made Star's clinginess worse.  And the sheer desperation in his voice, the sharpening of his scent, makes his distress crystal clear.  He's in Julio's space, the invisible barrier between them broken in favor of Star grabbing at him.  Julio jolts at the hands on him.  Big hands, Star's hands.  His eyes wide and shining, voice trembling.

"Hey man," Julio says, trying to soothe him.  "M'not just gonna ditch you like this.  I mean-" he swallows.  "Have you been to the doctor at all?  Did they tell you about your... options?"

He almost hopes no one told Star about abortion, mostly because if they did and he said no then Julio doesn't know what to do.  He's not cut out to be a dad.  Neither is Shatty.  It would really be for the best if they could just make the problem go away.  Star's face sets.  The panic doesn't go away, necessarily, but he no longer looks like he's about to cry.  Julio is grateful because he has no fucking clue what to do with a crying Shatterstar.

"I was told to get rid of it would be very dangerous to me," he says, fidgeting again.  "My healing ability is not working right."

He holds out his arm, pointing out a round scar that Julio hadn't noticed.  It stands out starkly, pink and shiny on otherwise unblemished skin.  It makes Julio's stomach drop, because Shatterstar doesn't get scars.  He heals too quickly for them to last.

"McCoy says that it would not work, and to get it to work would be dangerous, if not impossible."

"Fuck, dude," Julio says, bile rising in his throat.  "I'm sorry.  I'm so fuckin' sorry."

Star looks down at his feet.  "I am... afraid," he admits tentatively.

"I'm sorry," he repeats.  Feeling sick and guilty.  "I'm not going anywhere, okay?  I'm sticking with you through this.  I promise."

Shatty looks up, eyes wide, and then he closes the distance between then, lips crushing against Julio's.  He jerks back, breath caught in his throat.  Wanting nothing more than to sink into the contact, but pushing back at Star's chest instead.  Visions of the last time they kissed floating behind his eyes.  Star looks like a kicked dog. 

"I'm sorry," Star says, sounding panicked again. "I am sorry, I should not have done that."

"No," Julio says, "Wait, I just wasn't expecting it."  His mind is spinning.  He didn't think Star wanted him like that.  His heat was an outlier.  Julio was just helping him out.  Star only chose him because he was desperate and Julio was there.  "You're just confused," he continues.  "It's the hormones, okay?  I'm not... You don't want me."

Star looks even more upset.  "You are going to leave again?" he asks, voice breaking.  "You left last time."

"No," Julio says, shaking his head.  He crosses his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture.  "I- Fuck, dude.  M'not leaving.  I don't want you to do something you don't want just because you think it'll get me to stay, or 'cause I got you pregnant."

That's how this all started.  Shatterstar doing something because he had no other option, and Julio was too selfish to say no.  He's not gonna let Star do that to himself.  Not again.  

"I don't... I want you to be happy," he says.  "And that's not me.  I'm not gonna ever be that for you.  You don't want me like that, seriously."

Star shakes his head, looking doubtful.  "I think you are wrong," he says stubbornly.  "I know what I feel."

"Do you?" Julio asks, feeling like an asshole as soon as he says it.  He's tried not to do that, tried not to throw Star's struggles with emotions and socialization in his face.  "I just mean, maybe you're mixed up.  You don't gotta kiss me to keep me around."

But Shatty has set his chin stubbornly.  "I thought about it.  About what we did.  I had dreams.  It made me want..." he seems to search for the word "...more from you."

Julio practically chokes on his own tongue.  "Shit, really?  You had a wet dream.  About me?"  He doesn't believe it, but Shatterstar isn't the kind of person to lie about this.  He doesn't know how.

Star nods.  "The dreams did leave me with a wetness, yes."

Again, that chokes him.  He's flushed to the tips of his ears.  "Dios mio," he croaks, "The shit you say..."

"It is the truth," Star insists stubbornly.

"Okay, okay," Julio manages.  "You do want me like that, then."

He doesn't know what to do with that.  It makes him feel giddy at the possibility, but also scared shitless because what if Shatterstar changes his mind?  What the hell would he even do?   He has to trust that Star knows what he's feeling and this isn't some weird learning experience for him.  

"You do not feel the same," Star guesses when Julio doesn't immediately reply.  "I have upset you and you will leave again."

"No, dude, that's not it.  Holy shit, gimme a sec.  I... I just don't want to make you do something you'll regret."

"I will not," Star says, stubborn.  "I know what I want."

This time, Julio doesn't fight him on it.  Instead he looks at Shatty's face, which he's intentionally been avoiding.  He looks feverishly sincere.  Julio swallows and steps up to him.  He reaches out and puts a hand on Star's arm, fingers brushing the scar tissue there.  It feels less gross than his own scars do, but maybe it's just Shatterstar.   He's always been unreal.   

"We can," he swallows, throat dry, "Try that kiss again.  If you wanna?"

Shatterstar beams at him, too wide and with too many teeth and just beautiful.  Then his brow furrows in concentration and he leans down.  It seems to happen in slow motion snapshots.  The brush of their noses.  The feeling of Star's breath against his face.  The milky copper scent of him.  His hands resting on Julio's shoulders.  And then they're kissing, Star's mouth pressed to his.  It's chaste compared to the frantic open mouthed kisses they shared during Shatterstar's heat, but it makes something in Julio's chest go molten.  Star tastes like something sweet and salt and the unique Shatty-taste that Julio has been craving since that day three months ago.  He tastes like home. Julio pulls back, breathing heavy through his nose.  Feels heat strike through him when Star whimpers and chases his mouth, the hands on his shoulders flexing.  He licks his lips, flushed.  Star tracks the movement with wide eyes.  For a moment, they just stare at each other.  Then Star's expression crumples and he pulls Julio into a tight hug.  It's the last thing Julio is expecting, and he wheezes at the pressure on his ribs, but lets Shatterstar cling.  It really seems like he needs it, and Julio would be lying if he said it didn't comfort him too.  He feels hot breath on the side of his neck and then wet as Star shoves his face into the crook of his neck, bent like a tree in a strong wind.  

"Hey," Julio says lamely, "Hey, no, don't do that.  It's okay, I'm not leaving."

Star just makes a miserable noise.  

"Am I really that bad of a kisser?" he asks with a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

Shatty shudders and sniffles, and Julio doesn't know what to do besides wrap his arms around Shatterstar and hold him tight.  His stomach is pressing against Julio's torso and he can feel Star's heartbeat.  He can feel a second heartbeat too, and it takes a moment to process what that is.  When he does, he jolts, eyes going wide as a sense of wonder fills him, mingling with the anxiety already wracking his trembling body.  His nerves are shot, and something about this makes everything feel more real.

"Holy shit," he says, nervous all over again.  "The baby."

Star pulls back.  "What is it?" he asks, face blotchy and red and voice thick with tears.  It shakes Julio to his core, seeing Star like that. 

He stares at Star's stomach.  "The baby," he repeats.

"It is not a baby yet," Shatty argues.  "It is a fetus."

"Dude," Julio says, "I can feel it's heartbeat."

Chapter Text

Julio wakes up with hair in his mouth, coppery strands in his face like spiderwebs.  He sputters, blinking and pushing himself up on one arm, his other hand pulling away from where it was laying over Shatterstar's waist to push it out of his mouth.  He yawns, slumping back down into the mattress.  By now, Star has woken up to, probably disturbed by the movement.  He's always been a light sleeper, a survival mechanism when you live in a place as hellish as the one Shatty grew up in.  

"Shh," Julio says, still asleep enough that he feels no shame or embarrassment about combing his fingers through Shatterstar's hair.  "Go back to sleep."

Star needs to sleep more now, Julio knows.  Over the past week, he's been reading up on it online.  Only in the privacy of the room he's sharing with Star, though, because he feels like he'll get laughed at if the others see him doing it.  In all honesty, he's been avoiding everyone.  He said a lotta shit he regrets, and he'd rather avoid them all until they stop being pissed about it.  So he's been focused on Shatterstar because at least he's happy to see him. Star hums, rolling over so that he's facing Julio.  His eyes are still fogged over with sleep, half-lidded, and his expression looks contented.  It makes Julio's breath catch in his chest, like metal snagging fabric.  Shatty leans into his hand, eyes fluttering shut as he continues running his fingers through his hair.  In these quiet moments, the anxiety and self-doubt lurking inside Julio's fucked up brain quiets to almost nothing.  He's reminded of a cat stretched out luxuriously in the sun, looking at Star. Julio feels helpless at the sight, a kind of overwhelming warmth filling his body.  The way Star just lets him touch him, even after he got him pregnant, makes him feel a little drunk.  He honestly thought Shatty would never want anything to do with him ever again.

"You like that?" he asks, hushed.  Flushing at the implications, but that's not even what he's going for.  He genuinely wants to know. 

"Yes," Shatty rasps, voice thick and low with sleep.  His accent so much more prominent like this.  "Se siente muy bien."

Julio has found that he really likes it when Star speaks Spanish.  "Eso es bueno," he says, continuing to comb his fingers through his hair.  

They sit like that for a while, in quiet company.  It's easy when it's just the two of them, to do these things.  And Julio feels like he owes it to Shatterstar after fucking off and leaving him confused and knocked up.  The least he can do is give him a scalp massage.  It feels so strange, being allowed to do this.  Knowing that the rest of the team are probably placing bets or making jokes about them right now.  The thought makes him bristle reflexively, his jaw clenching.

Star's hand comes up to cup his jaw, and Julio shivers as his fingers brush the dip behind his ear.  "Voy a besarte ahora," Star announces, before doing just that.  

His mouth is warm, and infuriatingly he doesn't have morning breath.  He tastes clean, like fresh water, and a little sweet.  Julio exhales through his nose, all the tension immediately leaving his body.  He props himself up on one arm so he doesn't put all his weight on Star, tilting his head to deepen the kiss.  He's always hyperaware of Shatty's stomach when they do this, and they've been doing it a lot over the past week.  No sex, not yet, because Julio is still reflexively nervous about that, but a lot of kissing.  Shatterstar really seems to like kissing him, god knows why.  It's not like Julio is particularly good at kissing.  He's only kissed two people in his entire life before Star.  And never anything like this, slick and open-mouthed and so hot it makes him feel like he's boiling.

They do that for a while, Shatterstar's hands combing through his hair, blunt nails rasping at his scalp.  It makes Julio moan, and then go red because of the noise.  It's wanton and undignified, but Star just swallows it and keeps sucking on his tongue like a man dying of thirst being given water.  It's an ego boost, and Julio chances smoothing his hands down Star's sides.  

Suddenly Star pulls back, his face pale.  "I am going to vomit," he says, stumbling out of bed towards the trash can.

Julio jumps out of bed after him, hands going to hold Shatty's hair out of his face.  He always sleeps with it pulled back in a braid, but pieces around his face inevitably fall out while he's sleeping.  While Shatterstar retches, Julio does his best to be comforting, even though he's a little freaked out.  Any reminder that Star is pregnant freaks him out.  And he hates that all this is his fault.  Even if Star doesn't seem to hold it against him. He makes a lot of vague shushing noises under his breath, trying to soothe Star.  Presses a hand to his shoulder blades as he heaves and feels the twin heartbeats under his skin.  It makes his anxiety ratchet up.  Is morning sickness supposed to last this long?  What if it means something's wrong with Star or the baby?

"Feeling better?" he asks when Shatty pulls back.  Fingers working at the tension in his neck and shoulders.  "Need anything?  Water?"

Star nods, and Julio grabs the glass off the nightstand.  He hands it to Shatterstar, who takes small sips.  Julio watches him, trying to see if anything is wrong.  Well, outside of the obvious.  

"Stop staring at me," Star says, a little sharp.  "I am fine."

Julio looks away.  "Yeah, sorry, I know."

He scrubs a hand through his hair.  "Hey, so, I know you're supposed to see Hank today.  Do you, uh, want me to come with?"

To be honest, he expects the answer to be no.  Sure, Star's been clingy, but he's also weird about anything medical.  And all of this is so medical.  

Star makes a face. "Yes.  I do not want to go, but I am supposed to."

"Yeah," Julio agrees.  "I get it man."

If it were for anything else, he'd offer to help Shatty ditch.  But he can't do that, not when it's for Star's own good.

"I'll go with you," he offers tentatively.  "If you want me to."  He takes his hand off Star's neck, feeling like he's touching him too much.  

Star makes a face.  His accent gets weird and nasally all of a sudden.  "I don't... What are you talkin' about?"

Julio's brow furrows.  "The appointment?" he says.  "With Hank?"

Star's eyes look glassy and confused, and he stares at Julio like he doesn't know who he is.  "I'm not sick," and yeah, his accent sounds weird. 

"Uh," Julio says.  "This isn't funny, Star.  If this is your idea of a prank, it fucking sucks."

Star just keeps staring at him with a confused look on his face.  "That's not my name," he says. 

"O-kay," Julio says.  Is this because of the baby?  Some kinda weird pregnancy amnesia?  "Shatterstar.  This isn't funny."

Star blinks, and then his eyes clear.  "I apologize," he says, accent slipping back to normal.  "I don't know what that was."

"Has that, uh, happened before?"

Shatty shrugs.  "Perhaps.  I do not know."

Julio nods.  "Right," he mutters.

They don't talk about Star's weird episode any more after that.  It was weird, but Star's always been weird so Julio chalks it up to a quirk or a prank that failed horribly and keeps on trucking.  They shower at the same time, and Julio keeps stealing glances at Shatterstar's swelling stomach.  His chest looks a little bigger too, not that it was small to begin with.  Star catches him looking once, and he opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but Julio looks away and ignores him before he can.  When they're getting dressed, Star comes up behind Julio wearing only a towel, and he has a vivid fantasy of getting on his knees and taking that towel off.  He shoves it guiltily away.  Not what Star wants from him, no matter what he might've said.  He just didn't want Julio to leave, and Julio needs to remember that.  If Star wants to kiss him, Julio lets him, but he's not initiating anything.

Still, when Shatterstar hands him a brush and sits down in front of him, Julio sits on the bed and brushes his hair.  This feels almost more intimate than the kissing.  He remembers the first time he'd seen Star with his hair down.  The way Star had bared his teeth at him in a silent snarl, even though he walked around half-naked most of the time without any shame.  And now he's just letting Julio run his hands through it.  It makes him feel like he's getting away with something.

He twists Star's hair into a braid, like he used to do for his little sisters.  Sometimes, he thinks about braiding his own hair but discards the idea almost as soon as it comes.  There's a reason he cut his hair.  He looked too much like-

Well.  Exactly what he is.  And it scares him that people think they know him and Star.  Just because of one night that didn't mean anything.  He's just being a decent friend by sticking around.  If Star wants to kiss him, then Julio will let him because no one had ever even hugged him before coming to earth.  He's touch starved and he trusts Julio, even after everything, and Julio owes him.  He ties off the braid and holds it for a moment, rubbing his thumb over it.

"Ready to go?" he asks after a moment, letting go of the braid.  

"I suppose," Shatty says, sounding very annoyed with the whole ordeal.

Julio doesn't comment on it, 'cause he's got every right to be pissed off.  For some reason, he's chosen to direct that energy at Hank rather than Julio.  God knows why.  He doesn't pull his hand away when Star grabs it, clinging.  His shoulders do stiffen when they walk out of their room, though.  He steels himself for the comments that are surely coming.

Terry flicks her eyes over them when they pass through the entertainment center, giving Shatterstar a smile and a wave.  To Julio's surprise, Star waves back at her awkwardly.  It makes Julio feel stupidly jealous.  He should be glad Shatty is making other friends.  Terry is nice.  He should encourage this.  Should apologize for what he said about her and Jimmy.  If someone said that about him and Star, he'd be pissed.  

Instead, he grinds his teeth and ignores her, tugging Star along with him before Terry can try to start a conversation.

"Since when are you and Terry friends?" he mutters under his breath.  

"She was very helpful while you were gone," Shatty says.  

"Cool," Julio says through gritted teeth.  

He can feel Star's eyes on him, a knowing look that burns through him like dry ice.

The next person they have to deal with is Dom.  Not terrible, actually.  She cuts her eyes between him and Star but doesn't say anything when he asks for the keys to the jeep.  He breathes a sigh of relief when they get to the garage, only to be met with the lingering push of Cable's telepathy.  

"Stay the fuck outta my head, pendejo," Julio spits at him.  

"Good morning to you too, Rictor," Cable says.  "Shatterstar."

"No," he snaps, "I ain't doing this buddy-buddy shit with you."

"Alright," Cable says.  "Where are you two going?"

"Star's got an appointment, not that it's any of your business."  His hand is sweaty where Star's is tangled up with it.

"Let me know how that goes."  The words are directed at Shatterstar, but Julio still flips Cable off over his shoulder as they leave.

Once they're in the jeep, he can breathe a little easier.  Shatty is curled up in the passenger seat, cheek pressed against the window.  The air feels heavy with tension, and Julio hates it.  He fumbles through the tapes until he finds the MSI one Star picked out when Julio helped him figure out what music he's into.  He shoves it in the tape slot and turns up the volume.  Under the tempo of the music and the roar of the engine, he swears he can hear Star humming.  Curious, he takes one hand off the wheel and brushes it over Shatty's arm.  Feels the vibration of him, and yeah.  He's humming.  Most people wouldn't believe it, but Shatterstar can sing.  Like, really sing.  Julio's only heard him do it once or twice, but it's not the kind of thing you forget.  His voice is rough, sure, but there's something about it that makes Julio shiver.  Maybe he's biased.  Or maybe Star is just annoyingly perfect at everything.  He's got one hand resting over his stomach, all casual-like, and he's staring out the window as they drive down the mountain.  He's gorgeous, the sunlight catching in his hair and turning his blue eyes almost transparent.  Like a clear mountain stream.  Julio is seized with the sudden urge to kiss him.  Fantasizes about stopping the car and pulling Star in and kissing him senseless.  His grip tightens on the steering wheel. 

He swallows hard, turning his eyes back to the road.  "If you need to throw up, tell me and I'll stop."

Shatterstar makes an irritated noise, and Julio can picture the way his nose is wrinkled in annoyance.  It makes the corner of his mouth tug up in a grin.  "I told you, I am fine."

"Hey, I believe you," he says, voice light.  Teasing.  "Just don't wanna have to clean vomit outta the car when we get back."

"Fine," Star says mullishly, "I will inform you if I feel ill."

Julio turns up the music, and they make their way down the mountain towards Westchester.

Chapter Text

The closer they get to Westchester, the more nervous Julio gets.  His palms start sweating and his mouth gets dry.  He reminds himself that if Shatterstar is staying cool and collected, than so can he.  He's not the one with a literal human being growing inside their stomach.  He's just the idiot that put it there.  He keeps glancing over at Star out of the corner of his eye.  His frown has deepened as they enter town, and it's clear as day that he's not happy about this.  It sends another pang of guilt through Julio.  This is all his fault.  He has no idea why Shatty wants anything to do with him.  He really should tell Julio to fuck off and stay gone.  But he doesn't, and Julio will take it as long as he gets it.  

Someday, Star'll get sick of him.  It's just a matter of time

They pull up through the gate, passing into the school's driveway.  He's not really sure where to park as a guest, he's never visited like this.  It doesn't take more than a minute though for Xavier's voice to echo in his head.  He flinches at it, grip tightening on the steering wheel.  He hates telepaths. 

"Rictor, Shatterstar," Xavier says beatifically.  "Just park off to the side and come through the front.  Hank is expecting you."

Julio parks the car, thinking mutinous thoughts Xavier's way.  

Shatty seems unbothered by the invasion of his privacy, which just about sums up this whole fucked situation.

He gets out, rounding the car to open Star's door for him.  It's the polite thing to do.  Of course, he's not fast enough and Star is already out of the car by the time he's reaching for the handle.  So Julio is stuck with one hand hovering between them awkwardly.  Shatterstar looks at him with an unreadable expression and laces their fingers together.   Julio's ears burn, but he lets Star hold his hand.  He probably just needs the comfort.  That's all this is.

"You ready for this?" he asks Star, squeezing his hand.  Hoping he isn't overstepping.  

Shatty has a grim expression on his face, like he's about to go to war or something.  Actually, it's closer to how he looks before he enters a crowded public area.  War thrills him.  

"I will endure," he says, with a long-suffering air.  He squeezes Julio's hand back, though.

That makes his heart twist because Shatterstar shouldn't have to endure this.  He shouldn't have to deal with any of the shit Julio's put him through in the past three months.  This is all his fucking fault.  But he lets Star cling to his hand, comforted by the contact of him, cool and dry skin against Julio's own sweaty palm.  Ignores the warmth in his chest that threatens to spill over because he'll do something stupid if he acknowledges it, like kiss Shatty stupid.

"Sooner we go, the sooner it'll be over with," he says instead.  "I'm with you, man.  I'm not goin' nowhere."

Star looks at him with those wide eyes of his, then sets his shoulders and nods.  He takes long determined strides towards the front door of Xavier's, practically dragging Julio behind him.  Turns out being knocked up didn't change his insane physical strength.  Julio feels some kinda way about that, but pushes it down.  So not the time or place.  He scrambles to follow Star, heart in his throat. Xavier's still feels a little like a prison.  Julio doesn't have the same fond associations with the place as the other New Mutants.  His big experience is being held hostage in the Danger Room while they figured out that Cable hadn't actually shot Xavier.  He doesn't much like the guy either.  Too smug and self-righteous for his taste.  Almost worse than Cable. He locks his mind down tight as they enter the building, drawing on all of Jean's tips from when X-Factor first picked him up.  She's the only person he'd ever trust to get inside his head, because she taught him exactly how to shut people out.  Herself included.

They make their way down to Hank's lab, still holding hands.  It's the longest he's held hands with anyone, and he's hyper aware of how sweaty his hand is.  It probably feels gross for Star.  Fuck. Hank is blue and furry now, which is weird but whatever.  Julio's too distracted and embarrassed to really give a shit about it. He's also the one who gave him the Talk, and he feels like he got a bad grade on a test or something walking into the lab. Shatty growls when they enter, and Julio glances over at him.  Raises an eyebrow, a silent You good? sent his way.   Star glares out full force.  He definitely doesn't wanna be here any more than Julio does.  It would be funny, except for the million ways it isn't.

"Hello," Hank says, giving them both a friendly smile.

Star continues glaring at him, so Julio takes the helm of the conversation.  "Hey," he mumbles, cheeks burning.  

"So," Hank says, "It's safe to assume you're the, ah, other father?"

Christ.  Did Shatty not tell him?  

"Yeah," he confirms, feeling like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  

"I see," Hank says, adjusting his spectacles.  Two words, and he manages to make Julio feel like even more of a royal screw up.

Julio wants to cross his arms over his chest defensively, but that would require letting go of Shatterstar's hand.  He shoves his free hand into his front pocket instead, shoulders curving into a unrepentant slouch.  Like he's trying to curl into a ball and sink through the floor into the earth's comforting embrace.  

"What do you want," Star snaps, bristling.  On edge.  Hank is the one doctor Julio can stand, but Star clearly doesn't feel the same.  

Hank takes it in stride.  "I want to make sure you're healthy and everything is progressing as it should be," he says.  Friendly tone, like they're having a conversation and not one of the most mortifying moments of Julio's life.  

Star grumbles.  "You have said this.  I do not require medical assistance."

"You might not," Hank says, sounding perfectly pleasant, "But what about the little one?"

Julio winces reflexively at the reminder.  Star's grip on his hand tightens to the point of being a little painful.  He knocks their shoulders together and squeezes back, even though he can't possibly match Shatty's strength.

"Fine," Shatterstar snaps.  "What do you wish to do."

"Just a routine examination," Hank says.  "Do you want Rictor to stay for this?"

"Yes," Star says immediately.

"Alright," Hank replies easily.  "You can sit, and we'll just have a few questions first."  He gestures to a chair.  "My apologies, Rictor, I wasn't expecting Shatterstar to bring his partner."

The insinuation burns through him.  "We're not-" he stops and squeezes Star's hand.  "It's fine."

"I will stand also," Shatty insists.  "I do not need a chair."  His chin is raised stubbornly, like he thinks they might try to make him sit.

"That's perfectly fine," Hank says, although he raises a brow slightly at Julio.  

He winces, feeling caught.  He spends the next fifteen minutes wallowing in his own discomfort, before Hank says something about an ultrasound and Star snarls.  

"It's a routine examination during pregnancy," Hank says soothingly.  "Perfectly safe."

"No," Star hisses, puffed up like an angry cat.  "You will not put me in your machines again."

"Hey," Julio says, trying to calm him down.  "It's like on TV.  To see the baby.  I won't let him do nothin'.  I promise."

Shatterstar locks onto him, eyes wide and panicked.  Julio remembers vividly him fighting tooth and nail against getting any medical treatment right from the beginning.  Doctors on Mojoworld aren't very nice, it turns out.  Julio gets it, but he knows that Star needs to do this.  He grabs both his hands, gripping them tightly.  Rubbing his thumbs over Star's knuckles.  Trying to calm him.  

"M'right here, dude.  Nothing's gonna happen."

He pours as much reassurance as he can into his voice.  Because for some insane reason, Star sees him as an authority on being a person, and if Julio tells him it's chill, he'll believe it.  To drive the point home, he clasps the back of Star's neck.  Hank's presence makes him hyper aware of what it looks like, but then, Hank already thinks they're gay.  So it can't get any worse.  

(It can, but he's trying not to think about it.)

He sweeps his thumb over Star's hairline and stares into his wide mismatched eyes and for a second, it's just the two of them.  Star is searching for something in his face, and he seems to find it because he nods and breaks eye contact.  

"I do not have to take my pants off for this?" he asks mullishly.  

Julio's brows shoot up and he swings his head around to look at Hank.  "Uh, what?"

"Pelvic examination," Hank explains.  "Standard for the first trimester of pregnancies, and good in general for omega reproductive care."

Julio doesn't know what that is, but it sounds rough.  It also makes him think about Star with his pants off, and he flushes.  "Cool," he squeaks.  

"And no, Shatterstar, it's just your shirt," he continues, gesturing to the bed.  There's some machines set up next to it, and Julio gets why it freaked Star out.  Medical shit sets him on edge too.

Star lets out a put-upon noise and lets go of Julio's hands to strip out of his shirt.  Julio flushes and looks away reflexively.  Star's got scars peppered over his chest now, gunshot wounds that didn't heal right because he went and got shot right after Julio got on the plane.  And no one told him.  He's a little shocked that didn't kill the baby.  He's seen people get shot and it's gruesome.  Then again, Star's healed from worse.  Julio looks back as he climbs onto the table per Hank's direction.  He grabs the chair and scoots it over to sit next to Star, who immediately reaches out for his hand again.  He laces their fingers together and gives his hand a squeeze.  It's kinda nice, holding his hand.  Helps him focus on something other than the noise in his head.  He watches nervously as Hank spreads gel on Shatterstar's bare stomach, which makes Shatty wrinkle his nose in distaste.   He's clearly not a fan.  Julio squeezes his hand again.  He feels trapped in a loop.  Just watching and offering what little comfort he can.  Jaw tight and tongue feeling swollen and heavy in his mouth.  Throat tight.  He keeps swallowing.  

Hank fiddles with the machines and the screen turns on, showing grainy gray footage of what he assumes are Star's internal organs.  It looks a little scifi, but he doesn't see anything baby shaped yet.  

"The heartbeat should be audible by now, if you want me to use a machine to let you hear it," Hank says as he sweeps part of the machine over Star's stomach.  

"I felt it," Julio blurts, his face turning red.

Hank looks up at him and smiles.  "That sounds like it would be quite incredible," he says.  

Julio swallows a ball of some kinda emotion.  "It's fine," he says, not fooling anyone.  

"Ah," Hank says, "Here we are.  The little one."

He points at the screen and Julio can make out a... well it looks like a baby.  A weirdly proportioned on with a big ass head and spindly little limbs, but a baby.  

"Holy shit," he says, staring, "Holy shit."

He looks over at Shatterstar, momentarily overcome with emotion.  It's part flying by the seat of his pants terror and part something else.  Something awed.  

"It is very small," Star says dubiously, squinting at the screen.  He looks a little pale, even moreso than normal.  "Is it supposed to look like that or is it ill in some way?"

Hank laughs.  "It seems perfectly healthy from what I can see.  Human fetuses look strange at first."

"The head is huge," Julio goggles, forgetting being tough or unbothered for a second.  That's a kid.  His kid.  Holy shit.

"I can tell you the gender, if you wish," Hank says.  

"Uh," he glances at Star, who nods.  He seems to be in a firm no talking mood.  "Sure."

Hank fidgets with the machine and then makes an 'ah-ha!' noise.  "Congratulations.  It's a girl."

He looks back at Star, awed and scared and a billion other emotions.  That's their daughter.

The rest of the appointment goes by pretty quick.  Hank wipe the goo off Star's stomach and as soon as that's done Shatty is getting off the table and pulling his shirt back on.  His face is set in a way that Julio knows means they have like ten seconds to leave before he flips out.   He grabs Star's hand and squeezes it.  Chill out, he wills at him.  

"You wanna go to the car?" he says softly.  Already grabbing the keys from his jacket pocket in preparation.  

Star snatches them out of his hand and bolts.   

Shit.  That's gonna be a thing.  

He looks back at Hank, suddenly feeling the overwhelming fact that they're alone.  He shoves his hands in his pockets, already missing the feeling of Star's hand in his.

"I'm going to give you a list," Hank says, "And some supplements.  I trust you'll relay my instructions to him?"

Julio nods, still feeling shaken up.  Holy shit they're having a kid.  A little girl.  That's almost a relief.  He took care of his little sisters, so he knows what to do with a girl.  And Tabby can help.  She's a girl, she'll know what the kid will like.  Logically he knew but seeing that little lumpy body on the screen made it feel so much more real.  His hands are shaking.   He's not sure he can drive like this.  

"Yeah," he croaks.  "And, uh, you got any book recommendations?"

Hank smiles at him.  "That's right.  You've always been a curious young man.  And yes, I can give you some books on the subject.  I have a few that were meant for Shatterstar, but he refused them.  Said he would watch television about it.  He's quite... set in his ways."

That gets a little laugh outta him.  "Somethin' like that, yeah."  He swallows nervously.  "I didn't do it on purpose y'know.  It wasn't- I wouldn't- I'm not stupid."

"Rictor," Hank says gently, handing him a stack of books, "I didn't think you did.  I know you, young man."

He gathers up a few more things and puts them in a plastic bag.  "There's a binder in here, it has some suggestions.  You two aren't on your own with this.  Really, it's quite a fascinating phenomena, male omegas.  Rare, but not unheard of.  Pregnancy can be tricky, though.  Dangerous, for both parent and child."

Julio takes the bag.  "But he's gonna be okay, right?" he says nervously.  "You're a good doctor."

"I'm going to do my best," is all Hank says.  He pats Julio on the shoulder.  "I think you should go see about your... friend."

"Yeah," Julio says, keyed up and nervous.  "Yeah."

He hurries out to the car, his mind spinning out.  Over and over, all the possible ways this could go wrong.  Like he thought, Shatterstar didn't sit in the car.  He's pacing next to it like a caged animal, fingers tight around the hilt of his short sword.  Julio shifts the books in his arms as he hurries down the steps.  He sets the stuff down on the hood of the car and then he clears his throat. 

"Hey man," he says.  "Can we do a status report?"

It's something that Star responds well to, framing it like that instead of asking him how he feels.  Making it a little like a mission report.

Shatty growls low in his throat, his pacing getting more intense.  He pivots on his heel, snarls, and sprints across the lawn towards a tree.  Julio swears and takes off after him.  He's only covered half the distance by the time he sees Star lash out at the tree with his sword, opening gashes in the bark.  

Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.  

"Star!" he shouts, picking up the pace, "Dude!  C'mon, talk to me."  He skids to a stop a few feet from the tree, not wanting to box Star in. 

"I hate this!" Shatty snarls angrily.  "It is too small!"

"What?" he says, panting.  "Dude."

"The baby," he growls.  "Too fekting small.  Will not be able to defend itself."

"She's not gonna have to," Julio says, heart breaking.  

"Will," Star insists.  "Mojo will come for it."

"No way," he says, the thought filling him with something terrified and protective.  He'd never let a kid, any kid, go through what Shatterstar did if he gets a say in it.  Especially not his kid.  "We're gonna protect her.  And Mojo doesn't even know where you are."

"He will find me," Star says with bone deep certainty.  "Will find me.  It.  Will take-" he lunges out and sinks his blade into the trunk of the tree nearly up to its hilt like the it's made of butter.  "And it cannot defend itself.  Cannot hold a blade.  Will die in the training pits."

"Star, Star, no," he tries, marching up and grabbing Star's shoulder. "Shatterstar look at me, man.  I'm not letting that happen.  Ever.  I fuckin' swear it on- on my mama.  I swear it."

Star spins to look at him, teeth bared and eyes huge and wet and terrified.  His gaze bores into Julio with a terrifying certainty.

"Dude," he says, and then because he has no idea what else to do, he yanks Star down into a kiss.  

This is the first one he's initiated, and he's totally prepared to be shoved off.  Instead, Shatty whines like a wounded dog and clings to him.  Their mouths are mashed together and their noses press awkwardly against each other, but there's a jittery energy to it that feel electric.  Star tugs at him, and they stumble together until Star's back hits the tree.  His clever fingers threading into Julio's hair and twisting until he gasps at the bolt of heat it sends to his groin.  He tells himself sternly that he cannot get a boner from this.  

Star is just freaked out.  He needs to remember that's what this is, even when Shatty's shoving his tongue down his throat.  Whatever he needs to cope, Julio will give to him.  

Hopefully he doesn't fuck this up too.

Chapter Text

Julio gasps as Shatterstar flips them, shoving him bodily against the tree.  He scrabbles for purchase at Star's biceps.  Fuck.  They really should not be doing this on Xavier's lawn.  But then Star's thigh is slotted between his legs and he gets a little hazy on why they shouldn't keep going.  Especially when Shatty's mouth moves to his neck, sucking at his pulse point until he goes lightheaded.

Shatterstar making him see stars.  There's a joke in that but he's too caught up in the moment to put it together.

Julio sprawls flat against the tree, gasping as Star's teeth scrape over his skin.  His hands scrape for anything to hold onto, one of them twisting in Shatty's hair and the other groping along the tree trunk until his knuckles knock against the hilt of the sword.  Mindlessly, he wraps his hand around the hilt and it sends a shockwave through his body.  He jolts, fingers twisting as the vibrations surge through him and spread out through the ground around them like his body is a lightning rod.  Head spinning, he opens his eyes and finds Star staring back at him with wide eyes.  His neck stings like the top layer of skin got scraped off by Star's teeth.

Fuck.  

He lets out a nervous giggle, still highly aware of his own boner, and the way Star's is pressing into his stomach.  "We gotta go, man," he manages.  His hand is still twisted in Shatterstar's hair, and he flexes his fingers.  His single plait is a mess now, and it embarrasses Julio for some reason.  "We can't, uh, on Xavier's lawn."

Star nods slowly, his mouth swollen in an incredibly appealing way.  He's so fucking hot it's unfair.  Julio cups his jaw, patting his cheek before untangling their legs awkwardly.  He pushes off from the tree and walks to the car.  

"You unlock it?" he asks, trying for some semblance or normalcy even though he's still hard. 

"I did not feel like being trapped," Star says.  He's studying Julio, eyes sweeping up and down the lines of his body.  Pausing briefly at his crotch.

It makes Julio flush deeper.  God, Star must think he's an ass for that.  But he doesn't comment, just tosses Julio the keys and they pack up and set out.  The drive back is awkward and quiet.  Julio can't stop himself from glancing over every so often at Shatty, his mind bouncing from the image of the baby on the screen to the kiss and back again.  The emotions make his hands tremble, and he tightens his grip on the steering wheel.  The drive back is mostly silent, save for the occasional crackle of the radio and and the way Shatty mutters to himself.  Julio isn't entirely sure if he should be worried about that, but he doesn't pry.  He knows that, in his own way, Star doesn't like talking about his problems.  

The next few weeks are pretty calm.  Julio isn't sure what Cable wants from him, aside from keeping Shatterstar happy.  He doesn't bug him about training, which annoys him so much he almost checks out the Danger Room just to spite the guy. He doesn't, though, not until it becomes clear that not only does Star intend to continue his normal work outs, he's actually pushing himself harder and longer than before he got pregnant.  It's just the type of bullshit Julio would expect from the guy, like he's trying to prove he's still the biggest and baddest around, but he's also pretty sure it's more than that.  He hasn't forgotten the certainty in his voice when he talked about Mojo taking him and the baby.  There's no way he can tell Star to stop with his routine, but he figures if he goes along with him, he can help distract him enough that he doesn't over do it.  Normally, he sleeps way later than Shatty, but the night before he puts Operation: Chill Out into effect, he asks Star to wake him up 'cause he wants to work out with him.  Star gets so extremely excited by the idea that Julio feels a little bad for tricking the guy, but it's for his own good.  He feels a lot less bad when he's dragged out of bed at fuck off o'clock in the morning.  It's still dark outside.   He has no idea how Shatterstar does this day in and day out, much less why he enjoys it so much.  But his excitement at exercising together is endearing enough that Julio doesn't complain.

Much.

"I got some suggestions," he tells Star when they've turned on the lights in the Danger Room.  Because it's that early.  "Y'know, stuff we can do that's supposed to make having the baby easier on your body."

Star squints at him.  "Like training," he says dubiously.  

Julio yawns so wide his jaw cracks audibly, but he nods.  "'Zactly, dude."

He'd grabbed the binder from their bedside table when he'd woken up, or rather when Star had dragged him into a standing position with his eyes closed.  Hank had filled it with a lot of helpful information, things that Julio never would've even thought to look at.  He's particularly keeping in mind the facts about physical comfort.  Even if Star insists he can tough it out, Julio wants to make this as easy as possible for him.  He's now twenty-two weeks along, and it really shows.  It's freaky, but Julio has started to get used to it.  At least, he isn't wracked with guilt at the sight of Star shirtless anymore.  His pecs are bigger too, but that might just be the extra exercise he's been putting in lately.  Julio isn't sure how it works for male omegas because they don't already have boobs, and looking at Star's naked chest isn't exactly conductive to thinking logically.

"So," he says, cracking the binder open and finding the exercise section, "Says to do stuff like wall pushups, squats with a fitness ball, and leg lifts."  Hank even added pictures.  "S'pretty simple stuff."

Star leans over his shoulder, his hair falling into Julio's face as he observes the images.  He wrinkles his nose.  "These are for children.  I do not need the ball or to modify the side plank.  I can do it on one finger, easily."

Julio groans.  He'd been afraid of this.  "Yeah, man, except you're with child or whatever.  Means you gotta do stuff different.  Modify it."

"Very well," Shatterstar says, but there's a divot between his eyebrows that means he doesn't like it.  "I will do these modified exercises.  And then I will do my normal routine."

So much for getting him to take it easy.  

Julio does the simplified stuff with him, because he knows Shatty won't let him get away with sitting around.  Despite his assurances, it's all easy stuff, and Star seems frustrated by that fact.  

"This is ridiculous," he gripes.  "These forms are rudimentary.  I have no use for them."

Julio scrambles to his feet.  "Dude, c'mon.  You can't keep acting like nothing's different.  I know you get tired easier now."

That's the wrong thing to say.  Shatty snarls, dropping into a fighting stance and lunging at him.  Julio swears and dodges, just barely missing getting punched square in the chest.  Before he's recovered, Star is pivoting towards him for another attack. Fingers open this time, clawing like he's Feral.  Maybe he's fought like this before, disarmed and using whatever he has at his disposal.  Julio has seen him bite people.  He manages to dodge again, the blow whistling through the air next to his ear.  The fight would be more fair if he used his vibes, but he knows shaking babies is bad and he assumes subjecting unborn ones to intense vibrations is probably just as bad.  He's trying his best not to fuck his kid up before she's even born.  Star doesn't seem to care, though.  He growls and goes low, trying to sweep Julio's feet out from under him.  He lifts one leg in time but Star lunges and catches his foot.  He yanks him down to the floor and pins him by his wrists, panting.   

"I am-" he takes some deep breaths "-Fine.  Do not treat me like I am weak."

"You're shaking," Julio says softly.  Staring up at Shatty and wondering if he shoulda said something sooner.  If that would make it better for him.  "It's okay, dude.  You don't gotta be like normal.  'Cause shit's crazy.  And I'm here."

Shatterstar's fierce expression wavers, and then his eyes get watery.  The iron grip on Julio's wrist loosens a fraction as Star does his best not to break down in tears.  It's heartbreaking to watch. Star sits back and lets go of his wrists, nose scrunching up as he blinks back tears.  Julio doesn't comment on it, just sits up and hesitantly puts a hand on Shatty's shoulder.  Rubbing his thumb in what he hopes is a soothing motion against his bare skin.  He briefly considers kissing him there, but decides against it.  Not what Star wants from him right now.

"You don't want this, do you?" he asks softly.  It's not really a question.  

Shatty sets his jaw, then shakes his head.  Julio swears.  Once again, he's fucking up.  

"What about..." he trails off.  "We could put the kid up for adoption.   You know what that is?"

Star's eyes go wide.  "No," he hisses, shaking his head.  Hands coming up to clutch his hair.  "No, no, adoption is not-"  Something happens to his voice, like the bridge of his nose got pinched.  Accent changing.  "I don' wanna be here, I want my mama!"

Julio has no idea what to do.  He wonders if Shatty's completely losing it, going wacko because of all the stress. It gets worse.  He goes rigid and hits himself in the face, hard enough to leave a mark.  Julio lunges forward and grabs Star's wrist, swearing profusely.  Star howls, fighting him but it's like he's not using his full strength because Julio pins his wrists pretty easily.   He's on top of Star, holding him down.  Desperately trying to keep him from hurting himself any more.  

"Star," he says, "Dude, c'mon.  S'okay."

"Mama!" Star shrieks in that odd accent.  Still fighting at half strength.  Human strength.

Julio wants to cry.  He has no fucking clue how to help, and he worries he's doing more harm than good.  Star is still screaming and bucking underneath him, like a kid throwing a temper tantrum.  He's so focused on holding Star down without hurting him that he doesn't notice the Danger Room door opening.  

"Jesus!" Tabby snaps. "What the hell is going on?!"

"I dunno, he just went nuts!"  Star's elbow clips him in the chin and Julio swears.  

"Ma!" Star screams, "Mama please, I'll be good!  Jus' come back!"

"Oh fuck," Tabs says, dropping to her knees.  "Honey, your mama's gonna be right back," she says in a false cheery tone.  "She let me in to watch ya while she went out."

Julio stares at her.  "What're you-"

"Shh!" she hisses.  Then, under her breath, "Get offa him and play along.  Now."   Her voice brightens again, "She just wanted ya to have somebody around while she got some groceries."

Shatty stares at Tabby, sniffling.  He rubs his eyes and sits up, seemingly mollified.   "Is it nap time?"

"Yeah babes," Tabby says.  "C'mon."  She helps him to his feet and takes his hand, leading him out of the Danger Room.  

Julio follows, dazed.  The whole situation makes no sense to him.  Shatterstar doesn't even have parents.  He came out of a test tube, genetically modified to be the best killing machine in the world.  He's sure told them enough times.  He bristles when Tabby just waltzes into their room and helps Star into bed, but she shoots him a look and he doesn't say anything.  Tabby tucks Star into bed and turns off the light, dragging Julio out of the room with her.  She shuts the door and sinks against it, blowing air out through her nose.  It ruffles her bangs.  

"What the fuck," Julio snaps.  "What was that?"

Tabby opens her eyes and gives him her patented you're chronically stupid-look.  "He never mention the name Ben Russell to you?"

He furrows his brow.  "No?"

"Course he didn't," she groans.  "Jeezy creezy, this is a mess."

"What?" he demands, crossing his arms.  "He find some other guy while I was gone?"

"Like you care," she snaps back.

That stings, but he tries to keep his expression level.  "I do, actually."

Her expression softens a bit.  "I know, Ric.  I'm just... He was a mess, ya know that right?"

"Yeah."  There's a bubble in his throat.  "I figured."

"Like, really fucked up," she continues.  "He lost his mind, Ric."

"That's not my fault," he argues feebly.  "I had to go, Cable didn't give me a choice."

"Right, 'cause if you didn't leave everyone would find out about you and Shatty," she says, rolling her eyes.  "I need to get snacks.  You're coming with me."

He stares at her, incredulous.  "No?  I'm staying here."

"Yeah, 'cause you were so useful back there."

"Fuck you, Tabs."

"Nah, don't wanna get knocked up."  The hurt must show on his face, because she sighs.  "Just don't leave again, asshole.  Alright?  He needs you.  I-" she bites her lip.  "Don't be a shitty dad."

It hits him like a sledgehammer, what she's skirting around.  Her own dad, and his.  All the bad stuff they dumped on the two of them as kids.  It's not a shovel talk, just a reminder not to be an asshole.  It gets caught in his throat and tangled up in his ribs, all the expectations of being a man.  Richter men are alphas.  Richter men don't apologize.  Richter men fuck women and sell guns and don't care who gets hurt.  

He's a pretty big failure in his father's eyes.

"Who is Ben Russell?" he asks.  "Or is this somethin' I should only ask Star about?"

She shrugs.  "Dunno.  He doesn't seem to know any more than we do about it."

He meant that as a question of Shatterstar's privacy.  "I'll ask him later," he decides.  He would hate if he had a public breakdown and everyone decided that made it their business.  

Tabby nods.  "Come to the store with me?" she wheedles.  "I'll buy you a coffee."

"Sure," he decides.  Before they go, he pokes his head into their room.  

Shatty is asleep, bundled under the cover with his hair sprawled all over the pillow.  In the dim light, he looks younger somehow.  Less serious.  Something tightens in his chest at the sight.  Half protective impulse, half longing for something he refuses to put a name to.  And maybe that's his other problem.  Ignoring shit until it blows up in his face. Well, it's a problem for him to deal with another day.  He closes the bedroom door with a tightness in his throat and follows Tabs out to the garage. 

Chapter Text

When Tabby said she wanted to go to the store, he didn't think she meant the 7-11. Which is probably on him but whatever. Before all this, he really wouldn't care, but he's trying to be more conscientious of the food they're making just because eating only top ramen can't be good for the baby.

The baby.

He's stopped thinking of her as a thing and started to see her as a person. It started with the ultrasound; it's hard to dehumanize someone once you see a picture of them. Once you've felt their heartbeat pressed up against you, small but steady. He's still scared shitless, of course, but it's mixed in with something that's a little excited. Because it's a little bit of him and little bit of Star in the shape of a person and that's fucking incredible. Even if it's also fucking terrifying. He shakes the thought out of his head because it's not really the time to be daydreaming about him and Star raising a family. It's not like it would be a normal one, if they do keep up their... whatever they've been doing after the pregnancy is over. There's no guarantees it wouldn't be basically like a child of divorce situation, half the time spent with him and half with Shatty. He thinks he could stomach that. They'll still be friends after this. Still hang out and watch TV and argue about stupid shit. Just now there's gonna be a baby with them. That's not so bad.

Tabby clears her throat, overly loud. "Hey, head in the clouds, I asked what cereal you want."

He shrugs. "Just pick whatever." Turns his attention back to scanning the shelves for something he thinks Shatterstar might like.

He's not sure how to fix what happened earlier. Not sure if there's something to fix. So what if Star went a little nuts while he was gone? He's back now. Easy fix! Except it doesn't seem like it's working. All the little moments that he brushed off over the past month as bad jokes or pregnancy hormones are crystallizing in his head as something really concerning. Something much worse than what it seems. He has no idea how to help, and that's even more terrifying than the pregnancy. Because at least there's other people who have been through that. A break with reality, or whatever Shatty's going through, is tougher to fix.

If it even can be.

That's a scary thought. If Shatterstar goes nuts, then Julio has to raise the kid all by himself. And he's the last person who should ever be a single parent. He'd permanently fuck her up for sure. As it is, his confidence in his co-parenting abilities is pretty shaky. He reminds himself that they're the only option this kid has, so he has to just get over himself. Even if he can't see himself living to be twenty, let alone living another twenty years. But he has to. There's literally no other option, because Star freaked out at the mere mention of adoption. And to be honest, Julio isn't sure about it either. He's heard enough horror stories about the foster care system, especially if it ever gets out the she has two dads.

He doesn't realize his hands are shaking until Tabby nudges him and grabs his wrist, digging her nails in a little. It's a holdout from their X-Factor days, when any little thing would cause Julio to have a meltdown. It's embarrassing in hindsight; he should've just gotten over it. He's over it now.

"M'fine," he manages, shaking his hands out. Like he can shake off the dizzying pattern of thoughts plaguing him. "Just tired."

"O-kay," Tabs drawls skeptically. "Shatty keepin' you up? I heard people get horny when they're knocked up. Like an aphro-whatchamacallit."

He feels like his face might explode. "No- fuck you, shut up!"

She grins, and he knows she's never letting this go. "I knew it!" she crows. "I knew he was secretly a horny freak. No one stabs themself that much and isn't hella kinky."

She says it like it's some secret knowledge that all girls know. Maybe that's what's in their magazines or something. Julio feels something protective surge up in his chest at the insinuation. He still remembers Shatty's freak out at the Drone Club, the way he'd huddled into himself and shivered like he was the one with seismic powers. Julio's so fucking bad at being steady, at being the focal point for people to hold onto and keep themselves from washing away, but he tries with . He really tries.

"He's not like that," he snaps, a little bit more of an edge to his voice than he usually uses with Tabby.

She catches it, arching a brow at him. "Uh-huh," she says slowly. "And you two haven't been spending the past month screwing like rabbits behind closed doors."

Julio balls his fists. "No!"

He must sound sincere, because she nods, eyes widening just a fraction. "So, what? You just share a bed and cuddle and hold hands?"

His face feels hot. "Yeah," he mumbles, chewing on his thumbnail.

"Huh," she considers. "That's super fucking cute, actually. I didn't know you two were so wholesome. That why you liked Rahne?"

He winces at the mention of Rahne. "Sure," he says evasively. "And Star an' me, we aren't together like me and her were."

Tabby's light expression drops. "Well why the hell not? You knocked him up."

He huffs out a breath, feigning interest in the rows of chips. "What do you want me to do, Tabs, marry the guy? Not like I even could."

"Would you?"

His hand spasms. "Would I what?"

"Would you marry him?" It's such an absurd question for a million reasons, but she sounds deadly serious.

He swallows, mouth dry. "This is so stupid. It doesn't fucking matter what I would do. It's not an option."

"Oh, screw you, Ric!" she snaps, shoving his shoulder and stomping off. "I'm going for a smoke. You're not invited."

He stares at her incredulously as she slams out of the 7-11, then goes back to browsing the shelves listlessly. Truth is, he's been trying to quit smoking since he got the news. It's… not going great, but he figures it's the thought that counts. And he never does it around Star anymore, which is the most important thing. Even if the mere mention of Tabby stepping outside to smoke makes him crave a cigarette so badly his hands start trembling again, he tells himself he's doing his best. That's all anyone can really ask of him in this situation, right? He rubs the bridge of his nose. Apparently not. He's got no clue why Tabs is suddenly pissed at him. Why should it matter whether or not he would marry Shatterstar in some hypothetical world where he could? It's not actually an option. Girls are fucking weird sometimes, even Tabby.

He continues to peruse the shelves idly, not really focused on anything he's seeing but also trying not to think about anything either. It's a balancing act that he's almost not failing at, until he sees the pop tarts. There's a bunch of normal flavors, like strawberry and cinnamon and shit, as well as blueberry. He stops. Star kept saying he was craving blueberries. Maybe he'll like these. Mood buoyed by his find, he grabs the basket Tabby discarded during her temper tantrum and marches up to the register. Looks over the magazines in case there's any of the stupid celebrity gossip magazines, because Star has a weird obsession with them. It's probably a trauma thing, but it seems harmless and if Julio's being honest it's pretty cute. He grabs one with some weird rumor about two actors whose names he vaguely recognizes, and someone claiming they saw Dazzler on a date with a mystery blond guy. He throws it in the basket and puts it all up in front of the cashier, a bored college student with a shitty mustache.

He stares longingly at the cartons of cigs behind the counter, then shakes his head and forks over the cash for the groceries. He's kinda proud of himself for not caving, actually, but fuck if he'll let anyone know it. He's tough, he doesn't need to be pat on the head over it. Even if withdrawal sucks.

He shuffles out to join Tabby on the curb, plopping down next to her with a rustle of plastic shopping bags. She glances at him, mouth set in a line, but doesn't say anything. The smell of cigarette smoke makes him dizzy. He curls his hands into fists.

"Here," she says after a moment, handing him one.

"I'm trying to quit," he tells her, but takes it with a queasy feeling of guilt.

"Cold turkey isn't the way to go," she says, lighting it.

He inhales the smoke, feeling the nicotine jitter through him and settle in his lungs, soothing his nerves. "It is if I'm trying not to poison my kid."

"He's not here right now, you can cheat."

He shrugs, cigarette between his fingers. "Still. I need to stop before the baby comes."

Tabby laughs suddenly. "Sorry," she says when he looks at her. "Just… I guess I didn't think you'd be this invested."

"Thanks," he grumbles, grimacing at the words.

She nudges him. "Aw, don't be like that. You don't exactly have a stellar track record of sticking around."

He brings the cigarette up to his mouth, swallowing back the taste of bile and guilt. "That was different. I'm not gonna walk out on a kid. I'm not that big an asshole."

"I think it's sweet," Tabby says. "You bein' a dad. As long as you don't fuck it up."

"Why'd you lose it on me like that back there?"

Her teasing smile drops. She stares out at the horizon for a second. Stubs out her cig. "'Cause my dad fucked me up, and my mom left. And you're a good guy but..."

He swallows. "Yeah," he mumbles. Suddenly disgusted with his own weakness, he tosses the cigarette as far as he can. The end glows as it soars through the air, then disappears into the darkness of the pavement. "Trust me, I'm well aware. I dunno, I brought up giving her away this morning but Star freaked. And-" he scrubs a hand through his hair "-I felt her heartbeat, Tabs. I saw her."

"You got attached," she says, a teasing lilt to it.

He nods, throat tight. Doesn't know what else to say, because she's right. And he knows he'll be a shit father. How can he not be, when his only example thought it was a good idea to take an eight year old to an arms deal. He still has nightmares about the muzzle of that gun being pressed against his forehead, but when he'd shook and sniffled after, his dad had smacked him across the back of the head and reminded him that men don't cry, especially not Richter men. At least they're having a girl. Less likely to fuck her up with all the expectations he grew up with.

"Wanna see her?" he asks suddenly. Tabby's practically the kid's aunt, 'cause she's the closest thing he has up here to family. "Hank gave me a picture and uh-" he opens his wallet with fumbling fingers. "Yeah, anyway, here."

The picture is a grainy black and white print out of the ultrasound, and she doesn't really look like a baby yet, but that doesn't matter to Julio. She's his, his and Shatterstar's. A whole other person that they made together. It's incredible, really. Even if they're nowhere near good enough for the job.

"Whoa," Tabby says, staring at the picture. "She's weird lookin'."

"Hey, that's my kid you're shit talking," he complains good-naturedly, knocking their shoulders together. "She's not even born yet, give her a break."

Tabby laughs, then looks at him. "Maybe you won't fuck this up, actually."

He flushes, ducking his head. "I'm tryin'," he says, and it comes out more sincere than he meant it to.

"Alright," Tabby says, standing with the sound of popping joints, "Let's go before this gets too sappy. Wouldn't wanna ruin your tough guy street cred."

He stands, grinning at her. "Glad you know what's important here." Carefully, he tucks the picture back into his wallet and grabs the groceries.

When they get back to base, the sun is climbing high into the sky and the rest of the team is up and about. Julio's good mood fades, a sense of dread curling through him when he sees Jimmy in the kitchen. He contemplates leaving the groceries for Tabs to put away and going straight back to his and Shatty's room to hide in a totally dignified manner, but the blueberry pop tarts taunt him. He should at least make Shatterstar something to eat as an apology for whatever this morning was.

The thing is, he and Jimmy haven't really talked since he blew up at everyone that first day back. He feels like an asshole for what he said, but he's also bad at apologizing. So, he figured he'd just avoid the guy until enough time had passed that the hurt wasn't at the surface anymore. His tried and true method of conflict resolution: avoid it until it stops being relevant enough to cause problems. Jimmy, to his credit, doesn't call him out as he stares awkwardly at the microwave, waiting for the pop tarts to finish heating up. That actually makes him feel worse, because of-fucking-course he has to be the bigger person about this. He burns his hand on the pop tarts as he pulls them out and swears loudly, almost dropping the plate. Absurdly, he feels a little like crying, but shoves the feeling way way down where it'll never see the light of day.

"You good?" Jimmy asks evenly.

"Fine," he bites out. Swallows, then, "I didn't mean what I said."

"You're not fine?"

So he's gonna make him come out and say it. Great. "I don't think you're pathetic," he mumbles. "I was being an asshole 'cause I was freakin' out."

"Okay," Jimmy says. "I made coffee, by the way."

Julio figures that's as close to an I forgive you as he's getting, and takes it as such. He pours himself a cup of coffee and takes the plate of blueberry pop tarts back to the room. He bumps his elbow against the door in a clumsy attempt at knocking while his hands are full, then pushes into the room. From what he can see, Shatty seems like he hasn't moved a muscle since he and Tabby left for the store. He's still curled up under the blankets, hair spilling over the pillow in a copper curtain. His eyes don't open when Julio pads over to the bed, but he can read Star well enough to see the subtle tensing of his frame. He's awake, and pretending not to be.

"Brought you breakfast," Julio tells him, shooting for casual and failing by a mile as he sets the plate of pop tarts on the night stand. "They're, uh, blueberry. Dunno if you're still craving that these days."

That's a lie. He keeps a mental list of every food Shatterstar's mentioned craving or making him nauseous since he got back. He'll take that shit to his grave, though.

Star's eyes snap open. "Julio?" he croaks.

Tension he didn't even realize he was carrying leaks out of him. "Hey man," he says with a nervous little grin, "You hungry?"

"Yes," Star says simply, starting to sit up.

Julio moves to help him, even though he knows it'll probably just piss Shatty off. Surprisingly, Shatterstar lets it happen without complaint, even leaning into the touch. Which is actually super concerning but Julio figures they can deal with that later. Once he's got Star propped up against the pillows, he sets the plate in his lap. Steals a pop tart, because he's an asshole, but leaves the other three for Star and sits cross legged next to him on the bed. He watches with amusement and fondness aching in his chest as Star inspects one of the pop tarts, breaking it in half and sniffing it before taking a bite. Julio remembers when he refused any food he didn't have a direct hand in making because he felt like he hadn't earned it, and feels a surge of pride at how far his friend has come. Shatterstar's eyes get big in the way that means he really likes something as he chews.

"Good?" Julio asks, taking a bite of his own pop tart and then a sip of his coffee, hiding his grin behind the rim of the mug.

"Yes," Star hums, "It is sweet. I like it."

"Does she like it too?" he asks with a nod at Star's stomach, a teasing note in his voice.

"She cannot voice an opinion yet," Shatty says in his high and mighty you're being stupid tone.

"What do you think the cravings are?" Julio whispers conspiratorially, dramatic just for the fun of it.

That makes Star's eyes go wide again. "Is this true?" he asks suspiciously.

"Dude, no, I was fucking with you," Julio says with a laugh.

Star's nose scrunches up, affronted at the teasing. He's got crumbs at the corner of his mouth and his hair is falling out of its ponytail and there's pillow creases imprinted red on his cheek, and he's the most beautiful person Julio's ever seen. He suddenly wants to kiss Star so bad it's a physical ache. Instead, he leans over and brushes the crumbs away with his thumb, a more innocent and platonic gesture. Or maybe not, with the way Shatty's eyes widen and his cheeks redden. Julio gets a little distracted by the freckles on the bridge of his nose, and even more so when Star's tongue flicks out to catch his thumb and sweep across his lower lip. He inhales sharply, not pulling away but going still. Leaving it up to Star to decide where they go from here. It's always gonna be his choice if Julio has anything to say about it.

"I-" he starts, and then Shatterstar is turning his head to kiss his palm and every thought he's ever had in English and Spanish leaves his head completely.

"I saw that on television," Shatty says, all long lashes and guileless eyes. "Did I do it right?"

Julio nods frantically, pretty sure he's blushing so hard his brain is cooking in his skull. "Sí," he manages, scrambling for the right words and coming up empty. Is this how Star feels all the time?

Shatty seems pleased by his reaction, if the curve of his lips is anything to go by. "Quiero besarte," he says.

Julio laughs, a little strangled. "Sí, por favor hazlo." It always does something to him, the fact that Shatterstar learned Spanish just to talk to him.

And when Star leans in to kiss him, he melts into it.

Chapter Text

The kiss starts relatively static and chaste, but it doesn't stay the way for long. Shatterstar seems hell-bent on giving Julio an inconvenient boner with the way he tilts his head and opens his mouth to bite at his lower lip, one hand skittering across Julio's hip and the other fisting in the back of his shirt. It sends a flash fire sense-memory down his spine of Star's heat, the way he'd ripped his shirt and the sheets out of sheer uncontrollable need. It makes his palms sweat, mouth a little dry because at the end of the day Julio may not be a virgin anymore but he's no sex expert either. Sexpert. He snorts, and it turns into a moan as Shatty continues his assault on his lower lip. Julio tastes blood, which shouldn't be as much of a turn-on as it is.

As it is, Julio's jeans are feeling pretty tight and he thinks he might literally combust. Is this how Rusty felt when he used his powers? Not the time to think about him, actually, because Shatterstar is making these little needy noises and holding him as close as possible, like he wants to crawl inside Julio's body and stay there forever. He sounds almost as desperate as he did during his heat, and if Julio didn't know that omegas skip heats during pregnancy, he might've thought that's what was going on. Star's mouth is hot and wet and Julio wants to drown in it forever. In Shatterstar. Fine red hair slipping through his fingers as he grasps at Shatty. Half trying to soothe whatever this is, half just as desperate for touch. His hand finds the back of Star's neck, fingers tangling in his hair and pressing against his scalp in a way that makes Star shiver and whine. He sounds completely wrecked and they haven't even done anything yet.

That trips him up a bit, 'cause this is different from kissing and holding hands and holding Shatty when he has a nightmare (and Julio never knew before this, that Shatterstar wakes up shaking and scared in the middle of the night just like he does). This is sex, and he can smell it in the air already, emanating from Star. Not a heat smell but similar. An I need youwithout words. It makes him dizzy, like a contact high, and he presses Star gently back into the propped up pillows. Feeling him hard against his hipbone. Pulls back enough to detach their lips, jolting at the way he whimpers. He never thought he'd hear Star whimper, not for him. Not for this.

"Hey," he says, trying to focus. "Star, can we check in?"

Because it all comes down to that. Julio thinks he'd do anything Shatty asks, as long as he asks.

Shatterstar nods, pupils blown. "I feel-" and he's so red his freckles have practically disappeared "-like before, the club, but it is good. Not unwanted. The stirrings."

"Horny?" and he laughs a little despite himself, "You're horny, is that what you're sayin'?"

Shatty huffs, lifting his chin. "Yes," he says. "That is why I kissed you. You are making me-" he pauses, clumsy with the new word "-horny."

The teasing laugh turns to a strangled noise somewhere in the back of Julio's throat. "You can't just say that, dude," he chokes, face so hot he could probably cook something on it.

"You asked," Star points out.

Then he bites his lip, looking like he wants to ask for something but doesn't know if he's allowed to. It's a familiar expression, but not one Julio's seen in this context.

"¿Qué pasa?" Julio manages to ask around the fluttering in his stomach.

"Me gustaría..." Star begins, then trails off. He's quiet for long enough that the silence starts to feel oppressive. Then, "Sex," he blurts out, "With you."

The bed frame rattles violently as Julio tries to gather his thoughts. He has a sudden flash of his conversation with Tabby earlier. An aphro-whatchamacallit. It all clicks into place, and a sense of calm settles over him. Star just needs to blow off some steam. It's all just hormones, like the cravings. That's fine. He can help with that, if that's what Shatty wants.

"Sure," he says, shooting for casual. He sits back on his knees, stripping his shirt off in an awkward attempt at looking cool and sexy.

Somehow, Star seems entranced by it. His eyes skim over Julio's body, mapping his terribly unimpressive bare torso. Sure, he's got muscle, but he's short and scrawny and nowhere near as built as Shatterstar. Not to mention the scars raked into his chest from the run-in with Creed. Still, Star is looking at him with such intensity that it brings his boner all the way back in an instant, like it's snapping to attention. Curious, because he sees the way Star's eyes flicker to his hands, Julio traces a finger over his chest. Shatty jolts like he's been shocked, eyes wide.

"You like watchin'?" Julio asks, dropping his voice lower in order to sound sexy. He's not sure how much he succeeds, but Star's eyes are still on him and his throat bobs as he swallows.

"Yes," Shatty says, thin and strained and raw. Like he's forgotten how to speak English.

An idea strikes him, one that he'd be lying if he said he'd never thought about (he has, he so has) but never for long and only late at night. It also gets around his lingering concerns that going all the way could be bad for the baby.

"Want me to suck your dick?" he asks, skin burning as he says it.

This somehow carries more weight than anything else they've done together so far. Because during Star's heat, Julio was the one on top. It's not as gay that way. But sucking him off is a whole other thing. That's gay. In a way that he can't come back from. But he can't take it back, not when he sees the way Shatty's eyes light up at the words. The way his lips part slightly, and his tongue sweeps out to wet them. Julio bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood.

"I would like that," Shatterstar decides primly, but his tone is betrayed by the flush in his cheeks and disappearing under the collar of his shirt.

Star sees him staring and, with a slinky deliberateness, strips his shirt off. Now it's Julio's turn to inhale. Star's stomach is half moon round and pale, belly button sticking out like the knot of a balloon. A reminder of what happened the last time they did this. Star's chest has definitely swollen, and his pecs are starting to look a bit like breasts. It's not… Julio can't deny that he's into Star, but this doesn't really do anything significant for him either way, even though it definitely would if he were straight. The thought makes his hands shake. He shoves it away. He can have that crisis once he's taken care of Shatty. What is doing it for him is the significant bulge visible in Star's pants. Which says something about himself that Julio is just going to ignore for the time being. Swallowing nervously, he scoots between Shatterstar's legs, settling on his stomach. Not really sure what to do next.

Maybe he should kiss it? Or help Star get undressed?

"Julio?" Shatty asks, and he looks up and gets stuck looking up at Star. He's gorgeous like this, and it spurs Julio on.

He leans in and kisses the bare skin of Shatterstar's hip. That's less intimidating, even if Star's boner is brushing against his cheek. When Star squirms, he sucks a hickey into the soft skin, drinking in the quiet wounded animal noise Star makes. He watches the bruise fade, then works on unbuttoning Star's pants.

Shatterstar's dick, like the rest of him, is made to be impressive, which is actually a super uncomfortable thought, but Julio doesn't dwell on it. Can't, with Star right there and desperate. He gets a little addicted to it, admittedly. He's too eager at first, tries to take him all in at once. Gags and tears prick at his eyes and he has to take a breather, use his hand to make up for what he can't fit in his mouth. He didn't think he'd actually like the taste, but he does. It's guy and musk and Shatterstar and he tries to swallow, doesn't get all of it, coughs and chokes a bit. Is shaking with his own arousal by the end of it, so fucking proud of the way he's turned Star to a puddle of satisfaction. His own dick refuses to be ignored, so he presses his face to the crease of Shatty's hip and shimmies his pants down in preparation to jerk off. But Star, with his superhuman senses, notices.

"Come here," he says, hand tugging at Julio's hair.

He swears, moaning a little because fuck he's really into that apparently. He's not gonna argue, though, so he crawls up the bed until they're face to face, legs getting tangled in his jeans. He swears again, kicking them off and collapsing next to Star, fully on display. He sees Star's eyes travel south, and he turns his face into the pillow in embarrassment. He's solidly average, but compared to Shatty he's small. Star doesn't seem to care, with the enthusiastic way he curls his hand around him and strokes. Julio lasts an impressive three minutes, and he dares anyone to last longer with a guy as hot as Shatterstar giving them a handjob.

For a while, neither of them speak. The only sound is their breathing, ragged and satisfied. Julio contemplates passing out, letting this be tomorrow's problem, but it's only like one in the afternoon. Instead, he turns his attention back to Shatterstar. There's still a flush in his cheeks, contrasted against his usual paleness. He looks satisfied, peaceful, his eyes half-lidded. When he gets feeling back in his limbs, Julio props himself up on one arm so he can look down at Star for once.

"Hey," he says quietly, reaching out to tuck some hair behind Star's ear. Heart twisting when Star leans into the touch and closes his eyes. He's so touch starved, and it makes Julio so fucking sad sometimes. "Feel better?"

"Mm," Shatty hums. "Yes. You are very talented at that."

Julio laughs, feeling flustered and fond. "I'm really not, dude."

"I disagree," Star says, closing his eyes.

"Okay, mister all-knowing," Julio teases. "Got any other pearls of truth you wanna share?"

"No, I-" Star's eyes fly open all of a sudden, and he tenses, hands clutching his stomach.

Julio jolts, all his lazy happiness draining away and being replaced by ice water in his veins. "What's wrong?" he asks frantically, sitting up and fumbling for his pants. "Do you need a doctor?"

Star just stays stock-still. Then, he shakes his head and says very quietly, "I feel her moving."

Julio practically collapses into the bed again, relief making his vision fuzz over for a second. "Jeezus, dude. You scared the shit outta me." He rakes a hand through his hair. Then Star's words actually process, and his eyes snap to his stomach. "Wait, for real?"

Shatty nods, eyes still huge and awed. He grabs Julio's hand and presses it to his stomach, and Julio immediately goes still, feeling like if he moves he'll break something important. He feels the vibrations of Star and the baby underneath his hand, their twin heartbeats pulsing in unison against his palm. Then, he feels something else, something new. She's moving, just like Star said. He feels some big and indescribable emotion well up in his chest. Like a sapling taking root, breaking through the surface of the soil and stretching out towards the sun. He turns his head to look at Shatterstar, a small smile on his face. Tentative and incredulous, and a little terrified.

"Does it hurt?" he asks, whispering because it feels like he should.

Star shakes his head, eyes still wide. "No. Just… movement."

Julio can't stop the nervous giggle that escapes his throat. "Good," he says lamely.

He leans in to kiss the corner of Star's mouth, because it feels like the right move. Thumb rubbing circles into the skin of Star's stomach. Shatty sighs happily, tilting his head so they're kissing properly. Julio pulls back after a moment, feeling fragile for no good reason. He looks at Shatterstar, relaxed and resting, and needs to keep this moment with him forever. Needs to make sure Star feels like this as often as possible. Which means they gotta actually talk about shit. They can't have a repeat of this morning, of Shatterstar pushing himself to his breaking point and freaking out. He needs to understand that no one's gonna hurt him if he takes it easy. That Julio won't let that happen.

"So, uh, this morning," he starts. Not quite ready to take his hand off Star's stomach. Not ready to stop feeling the baby's heartbeat and movement. "What was that all about?"

Shatterstar's eyes open and his expression sours a little. "You are asking about Benjamin?" he confirms.

"So Tabby wasn't fucking with me," Julio says, not that he really thought she was. Hoped, maybe. He keeps rubbing circles into Star's stomach, hoping to bring back that sleepy-satisfied look. "She said you, uh, got a little confused for a while."

For a moment, Shatty doesn't say anything. He just stares at the ceiling. He's quiet long enough that Julio really starts to worry. Wonders if by asking he's sent Star into another fit. Finally, he feels Star's hand fumble for his own. Lacing their fingers together. Cool dry skin, softer than it should be 'cause Star's healing factor does away with calluses and scars alike. Makes him seem pure, untainted, completely innocent even though he's killed more people than Julio can count. Maybe he is, even so.

"I don't know," Shatterstar says, after enough silence that Julio jolts at hearing him speak. "Benjamin is… the police said I am him. That I am delusional, and Mojoworld is a fantasy."

"Screw what the cops say," Julio tells him, because the blank empty look on Star's face scares the shit out of him. "What about Cable, or Hank? You talk to them about this? Or Dom, she got cloned or whatever too."

"I thought they were lying. But there are pictures of him. Files. And he is identical to me, save for-" he brushes his fingers over his eyemark "-and so I do not know what to believe. And sometimes I think I am him. I remember it."

Julio nods slowly, new information slotting neatly together with what he saw this morning. "That sounds fuckin' scary, man. I'm sorry that's happening to you. Maybe-" he chews his lip. "Maybe he's a telepath or somethin' and he's messing with you. Or maybe… You said Mojo clones people, right?"

Shatterstar shrugs. "Most on Mojoworld are clones, or artificially created. Windsong and I were supposed to give our genetic material to be combined after our marriage."

"Right," Julio says, a stab of jealousy going through him. He shoves it away. He's got no reason to be jealous of a girl Star's shown zero interest in at all. And he shouldn't even be jealous if he did want her, because Star isn't his to feel that way about. "You'd have a buncha test tube babies."

Star nods, his expression grim. "I am copyrighted material," he says, like that isn't a mind blowingly insane thing to say about a person. "Which is why I…" his hand drifts back to his stomach. "I have concerns about the baby."

"I told you," Julio says, dead serious, "I'm not letting that happen. You're never going back there again."

Shatty gives him this forlorn look that makes his chest ache. "That is very honorable of you, but they are powerful. Mojo is powerful."

"Fuck that," he snaps, squeezing his hand. "I-" he swallows. "We're in this together. No one's taking you away." The from me goes unsaid. "I promise, okay?" He leans up on his arm again, staring Star straight in the face. Trying to make him believe what he's saying.

Star doesn't meet his eyes, and he feels his heart break.

Chapter Text

They don't talk about it. Which has become standard for most of their issues, but this weighs heavy over Julio. The lack of trust stings, even though it seems like Shatterstar can't help it. Julio remembers being fresh off of the Right's torture, and the certainty that it wouldn't last. That something bad would happen again and he'd be right back in the machine. So maybe he has no right to hold Star's lack of trust against him. Words mean shit in the face of lived experience. And it's not like he hasn't given Shatty plenty of reasons not to trust him recently. So he lets the next few weeks pass without bringing it up. Doesn't mean he doesn't try to subtly do everything he can to make Star feel safe. Tries to just… be around, because he's pretty sure that's what counts the most in Shatty's book. Lets him hold his hand as much as he wants and gives him any affection he asks for when he asks for it, no matter where they are, Julio's own embarrassment be damned. And the rest of the team seems to be operating on a similar idea; let Shatterstar do and have whatever the hell he wants until the baby comes, and don't say shit about it.

Star's twenty-five weeks along and the toll on his body is clearly frustrating him. His healing factor also seems to have stopped working entirely, or near enough, because Julio watches him pick at the place where Hank drew blood from his arm until it starts bleeding again and it takes a full day to heal. It's terrifying, because Julio has been reading practically anything he can get his hands on about male omegas and pregnancy and most of it seems to point to birth being dangerous, if not outright deadly, for both the baby and the parent. The idea of going through all of this just for Shatterstar or the kid or both to die makes him sick to his stomach. He doesn't think he could handle that. So he's attentive and watches Star to the point that he knows it must be grating, but Star never complains. Seems to bask in the attention even, although he shows his teeth when anyone tries to interfere with his training regime. It's like Shatty still thinks he has something to prove.

Cable takes them both off missions. This leads to the first argument Julio's ever seen between him and Shatterstar, a look of embarrassment and rage on Shatty's face, a flush in his cheeks as he calls Cable a coward and a lotta nasty-sounding things in Cadre while Cable just stands there and silently takes it. Finally, Star seems to tire himself out and stomps off outta the Danger Room. Julio takes it as his cue to follow. He's been doing a lotta that lately, following Star around and picking up the pieces after a meltdown. There's a certain irony to it.

"Hey," he says, jogging up to where Shatterstar has curled up in a ball just outside the base. It's getting colder, Fall approaching, and he itches to wrap Star up so he doesn't get sick or something. "Come back inside, man."

Star grumbles, his shoulders a rigid line of muscle and tension. He doesn't look at Julio.

"Dude," he says, sighing and going to sit next to Star. "He's just concerned. You're not healing anymore. It's a tactical decision."

Shatty loves claiming things as tactical when objectively they're not, so Julio figures he's got every right to do it right back at him.

Another grumble.

Julio nudges him gently with his shoulder. "C'mon, lets go inside. Or… we could go see a movie?" Lilts his voice up at the end, like he's trying to appeal to a dog or a small child. Coaxing, gentle in a way he never knew he could be before all of this.

That gets Shatty's attention. "I- hm," he stops, but Julio knows he's got him hooked. "What movie?"

"Whatever you wanna see."

"It can be a romantic comedy? Or a musical?" That's a point of contention between them. Shatterstar is fascinated by romcoms and musicals, all that girly shit, and Julio hates them on principle.

But he swallows his pride. "Sure."

He's rewarded with one of Star's rare real smiles, wide and toothy and a little shy. The one that never fails to make Julio's breath catch in his throat. "Alright," Star agrees.

They end up seeing 10 Things I Hate About You. The title doesn't seem very romantic, but apparently Tabby went and saw it and told him it was good. When Star and Tabs started talking about movies, he doesn't know, but he endures the next hour and a half for Star's sake. It's less terrible then he thought it would be, and every time he glances over at Shatty in the dark of the theater, his eyes are big and fixed on the screen, brow furrowed in concentration. The whole time, though, he holds Julio's hand. They share a bucket of popcorn and some sour candy, another thing Shatty apparently can't get enough of, and it's… it's good. Things actually feel normal for a little while.

That normalcy lasts until they walk outta the theater. He's laughing at Shatterstar because he's asking such Star-typical questions about the movie and it makes Julio want to kiss him right on the mouth. See if he can taste the popcorn and candy on his tongue. He almost does it, too.

"Julio," Star says, interrupting that train of thought. His eyes have gone sharp like they do right before a fight, and he's staring hawk-like at something over Julio's shoulder.

He turns, laugh still caught in his throat. It dies instantly. A group of guys around their age are staring at them with expressions ranging from mocking to outright disgust, noses wrinkled or twitching as they scent the air. Most of them are snickering, but a few look visibly pissed off. Julio fights the urge to yank his hand outta Star's and run, suddenly hyperaware of the hormone smell wafting off of Star. He does half of that. Drags Shatty outta the theater, heart beating so fast it's the only thing he can hear. Star makes a noise of protest but lets himself be dragged along. He doesn't slow down until they reach the parking lot, tremors shuddering through his frame.

Shatty is looking at him, concerned. "Julio-"

"Get in the car," he tells Star, glancing over his shoulder. He's scared, and it pisses him off. "Seriously, get in the fucking car." He tries to steady himself. Tries to calm his racing heart and stop shaking enough that he can drive.

Shatterstar stares at him for a long moment, then does as he's told. His face is red from exertion and he just slumps there, stomach protruding obviously from his jacket. He could almost be a girl, if you squinted, but he's also so clearly not. And Julio was an idiot for doing this, taking him out of their cozy little bubble of a freak show and out into the world where they're worse than mutants.

He gets in the car. The drive back is silent, and it's his turn to fume and sulk.

It gets added to the list of things they don't talk about.

Another two weeks pass, and he can see just how restless Shatterstar is getting. The way he'll sometimes pace up and down the length of their room, swords gripped white knuckle tight. A low growl reverberating from his chest. What's more concerning is the way he'll sometimes just stop talking for hours on end, or wedge himself in a small space and refuse to move. It's clear he feels trapped by his own body, and Julio feels the guilt threaten to swallow him again. The Benjamin thing keeps popping up from time to time, but Julio's starting to figure out what triggers it. Mentions of homeless kids or the foster system or absent parents. All stuff Julio's pretty eager not to talk about anyway. At least that's one thing he's not fucking up.

They're out on the couch, watching late night TV and kinda maybe cuddling. Star has his head tucked into the crook of Julio's neck, and his hair tickles his skin. He still feels so warm and clumsy and embarrassed about it all, maybe even more than the sex. That he can write off as hormones or pent up energy that isn't getting burnt off with Cable's moratorium on Star going out on missions. This, the quiet moments where Shatty tucks himself into his side, that's harder to square away. He turns his attention away from the screen, he's seen Alien maybe five times at this point, and watches Star's face. What little he can see of it at this angle, anyway. And then, because everyone is asleep, he combs his fingers through Star's hair; smiles at the way Shatty almost purrs at the contact. Before this, Julio woulda thought touching his hair would get his hand cut off. And if he were anyone else, it probably still would. He feels Shatty flinch at the chestburster scene, and he frowns.

"Hey," he says softly. His dad would kick his ass if he ever heard him talk like this to anyone. "What's up, dude?"

A long string of seconds tick by before Shatterstar says anything. "Is… Human birth is not like this, correct?"

Julio chokes, half a laugh and half embarrassment. And always that tinge of guilt. Star's so clearly trying to sound stoic and unbothered, but Julio knows him well enough and sees through it easy. He wraps his arm more securely around Shatty's shoulders, thumb rubbing circles into his bicep like he's been doing it all his life. Turns his face into Star's hair, almost a kiss.

"Not quite," he says finally. "I mean, you won't die. Not if you've got a good doctor and everything. And Hank's really smart so you're gonna be fine. Both of you will." Maybe he's lying just a little, but he doesn't wanna freak Star out.

He feels Star suck in a great trembling breath, then let it out. "And you will be there?"

"Of course, man," Julio says immediately. "I'll be there the whole time. They always let the dad be in the room."

The dad. 'Cause that's what he is, what they both are. It still hits him like a sledgehammer sometimes, the fact that this isn't all some crazy dream.

"Oh," Star says. He doesn't exactly sound satisfied.

"Maybe we should watch something else," Julio says.

"I am fine," Shatty snaps. "A film is no threat to me." Desperately trying to assert his toughness, clawing for any semblance of projected strength.

It makes Julio's heart ache.

He grabs the remote and turns the TV off.

"Julio!" Shatterstar snaps indignantly, turning to look at him.

"We should go to bed, dude. You need the rest."

"I said that I am fine. I can goes days without sleep."

"What about the kid!" Julio snaps back at him. "She needs you to rest. If you keep acting like everything's the same, she'll be born weak and sick!" Maybe it's an asshole card to play. But he's sick of Star running himself ragged just to prove a point.

It does the trick. Shatterstar's eyes go wide and he freezes. He's silent and deadly still for almost a minute. Then he nods. "Very well. I will rest."

Julio sags into the couch a bit, relieved. "Good, 'cause I was about ready to carry your ass to bed if I had to."

Star lifts his chin pridefully. "You would not have been able to force me. I would still win if it came to blows."

"Only 'cause I don't make a habit of fighting my pregnant- Pregnant guys," Julio says, stumbling over the comeback a bit.

"I would win," Shatty insists.

"Sure you would, tough guy." Possessed with a sudden urge, Julio kisses Star square on the mouth, close-mouthed and quick and playful. "C'mon," he whispers against his lips, "Bed. I'll make it worth your while."

He panics as soon as he says it. He doesn't wanna put any pressure on Star, make him think he has ulterior motives.

But Shatterstar smiles at him, eyes lighting up. "If you say so," he says, the words coming out slightly stuttered like he isn't sure if he's got it right, "Take me to bed."

It's absurd to turn red over that, but Julio does. Burning to the tips of his ears but he does it, helping Shatty to his feet because no matter what he claims, he needs the help these days. And maybe it's the giddiness of the last few minutes or how late it is, but Julio feels absurdly happy. Maybe he's just light-headed with relief over convincing Star to chill on the exercise and the late nights. Maybe it's the intoxicating feeling of Star's body pressed up against his side, warm and solid. Whatever the case, when they're back in their room with the door closed behind them, he kisses Star again. Kisses him on the mouth and then on his neck and collarbone. Finds his nipple through his shirt, chest heavy with hormones, and licks and sucks at it until Star is whining.

"Julio," he gasps, clutching at his shoulders. "Oh, Julio, please-"

Julio crowds him until his back hits the door and gets to his knees. "Said I'd make it worth your while," he tells him. Kisses his swollen stomach and feels more embarrassed about that than the fact that he's got every intention of sucking Star's dick.

"Please," Shatterstar urges again, hips jumping forward and, well-

He does as he's told for once. Catches Star after when his legs give out and holds him, peppering him with kisses because it's so easy to do in the dark like this. Makes it feel less solid and real.

Shatty reaches down between them. "Let me-"

Julio bucks into it, groans. Bites his lip so hard he tastes blood. "I got it. I got it. You don't hafta."

But Shatterstar is determined and even though the angle is awkward, he's a quick study and kinda relentless. Julio buries his face in Shatty's shoulder and swears, tears prickling at the backs of his eyes for no good reason as he cums. They're both quivering messes, and Julio almost suggests they just sleep right here on the floor, but that would probably be bad for the baby so he gathers himself and hauls them both to their feet. Helps Star into bed, feeling vaguely self-conscious, shucks his ruined pants, and climbs in after him. A little surprised, somehow, when Star rolls over and tugs him until their stomachs are pressed together awkwardly and buries his face in his neck.

"Night," Julio coughs, staring at a spot on the wall. Hyperaware of the pulse of the baby, so very alive, in Shatterstar's stomach.

Star mumbles something incoherent, and it's not long before his breathing and the rhythm of the twin heartbeats lulls Julio to sleep.

Chapter Text

"Surprise!"

Julio flinches, a rumble going through the room at the sudden noise and lights of Tabby's time bombs popping near the ceiling. Next to him, Shatterstar jumps about a foot in the air, a growl ripping from his throat as a knife materializes in his hands, blade flashing in the light of the disco ball someone rigged up.

"Oh, put your knives away," Tabby says. "It's a party!"

Julio scans the room, heart still galloping in his throat like a wild horse. "In what world is a surprise party for the pregnant alien warrior a smart idea?" he deadpans, one hand hooking around Star's elbow to rub little circles into the soft skin there in a soothing motion. Trying to calm him down from the shock of the surprise. He's been really on edge lately. "You're lucky he didn't actually throw them at you."

"I would not have missed," Shatty confirms stiffly.

"'Course y'wouldn't," a voice that Julio hasn't heard in a while says. Sam is standing in the corner, a red solo cup in his hand.

Julio feels some of the blood drain from his face. His grip on Star's elbow tightens a fraction. "Hey man," he says weakly. "What's up?"

Sam just smiles affably at him. Julio isn't sure why he's having such a heart attack over him being here. Probably because Sam is a shining golden boy example of everything thing he isn't; he joined the X-Men while Rictor knocked up one of his teammates. His guy teammate. Really highlights their differences. He watches Sam's eyes flicker over Star's body, lingering for a second on his obviously enlarged stomach. There's no hiding it at this point, thirty weeks along.

Sam doesn't seem too phased, though. "Tabitha called me up, an' I wasn't bouta miss the first X-Force baby shower, now was I?"

"Oh," Julio says, shoulders dropping a little. It's just Sam being Sam. He's not here to chew Ric out over being irresponsible and taking advantage of Shatterstar, or give him shit for being gay. At least, not in front of the rest of the team. "Thanks."

"I am going to sit down," Shatterstar announces, breaking the tension. "Not because I am tired, but because I wish for her to be strong and healthy."

Julio's been getting on him about resting, and he's been slowly taking it into consideration. Mostly, he uses the baby as cover for anything that could be perceived as him being weak. It's a little heartbreaking, but Julio figures it's better than him not resting at all. He guides Shatterstar over to the couch as he says it, helping him sit and pretending not to notice the frustrated twist of Star's face at his inability to do such a simple thing without help.

"You want something to drink?" he asks, keeping his tone casual.

"Bobby shelled out for some fancy sparkling cider," Jimmy offers. "I told him, what is this, man, finishing school or some rich people shit like that? Just get coke."

"And I said that would be a disgrace to my good name. But, I'm not going to buy good champagne for someone who is expecting either," Beto insists. "I'll bring that to the birth," he adds with a wink.

"You're not beating the team sugar daddy allegations," Tabby tells him.

Terry snorts. "Aye, he paid for me an' Jimmy's trip ta Ireland."

Beto throws up his hands. "See if I ever do anything nice for you again, menina."

"I will have the carbonated apple juice," Shatty decides. Hands rubbing at his stomach in a way that means the baby is kicking.

Beto clicks his tongue, sounding put upon when he corrects, "It's raspberry and apple, thank you very much." But he grabs Shatty a glass anyway. "Ric, you want one?"

Star takes a sip, and then makes his holy shit this is good face. "Julio will try this, yes," he decides.

"Sure," he agrees, sitting awkwardly next to Star on the couch. Feeling a little more at ease when Shatterstar scoots over and leans against his side.

Julio accepts the glass of cider Beto hands him and takes a sip. It's a little sugary for his taste, but not bad. He can see why Shatterstar, with his sweet tooth and love of new sensations, likes the cool carbonated drink.

"It's good," he confirms for Star's benefit. "What does she think?"

It's become their own private joke about food and music. It's fun, and it makes the baby feel more real. Like her own person, instead of just a thing growing in Star's belly. It makes things… easier, in a way. Lighter.

"She enjoys it as well," Shatty says, the corners of his eyes crinkling in his version of a grin.

Terry walks over, a glass of cider in her hand and a smile on her face. "Well, at least she has taste. Beto knows the good stuff, I'll say."

"Hello Theresa," Star greets.

Julio's come to terms with the friendship Star and her struck up while he was gone. Is grateful for it, actually, once the jealousy had mostly worn off. It's still there a bit, like a faded bruise that hasn't quite healed, but he mollifies himself by comparing it to his own relationship with Tabby. Purely platonic, even sibling-like. Terry's so clearly infatuated with Jimmy, too. He's got no reason to feel anxious and clingy when Star smiles at Terry, not when he's got Shatterstar's full warm weight tucked into his side. Still, he casually and subtly throws his arm over Star's shoulder, satisfied at the way he nestles in further.

Terry raises a brow at him, hiding a smile behind the lip of her glass. "Hey boyo. How's the wee one?"

"Mobile," Star says, nose wrinkling. "It puts an uncomfortable amount of pressure on my bladder. I continuously have to use the bathroom, which is difficult with the changes to my body."

"Dude," Julio says, not unkindly, "TMI."

Terry flaps a hand. "Oh I don' mind. Complain away, Shatty."

Shatterstar does just that, going into a slightly uncomfortable level of detail as he gripes about the different shitty things about being pregnant. It still makes Julio feel that old twinge of guilt, but the feeling is mostly overshadowed by the fondness he feels for Star, at the unique takes he has even on this. He makes a mental note of the things he mentions, figuring it's the least he can do to try and find some way to alleviate Star's discomfort.

"…And Julio has been very accommodating," Shatterstar is saying.

He tunes back in at the sound of his name. "Huh? I mean, I guess."

Shatty looks at him with that squinty-eyed you're being slow look. "Yes, you have. Helping me when I need assistance moving and bringing me food and especially when I feel the stirrings-"

"O-kay," Rictor interrupts loudly, face burning. "I do help out, but only 'cause it's the decent thing to do. Only an asshole wouldn't."

Terry eyes them both knowingly. "Sounds like he's a model lover," she says, and there's a little bit of teasing in her voice. Like she's daring Ric to argue.

"Very much so," Star agrees, before he can cut in and say that they're not even together.

"I try," he manages to squeak out.

"You succeed," Shatty insists firmly.

Julio is saved from the need to argue about it by Cable entering the room. He immediately goes tense, and sees a scowl settle firmly over Shatterstar's face. He's still pissed about being sidelined, and Rictor will let him vent as much as he wants about it while secretly being grateful that Cable was the one to do it so he didn't have to, especially after their fight in the Danger Room. He doesn't know how he'd handle all of the stress of becoming a dad while also fielding a pissed off Shatterstar. Cable does a scan of the room, then nods like he's satisfied with what he sees. Eye flaring and Julio sees Star wrinkle his nose.

"He wishes to speak with us after the party is over," Star tells him.

Julio flips Cable the bird, but he's already walked out of the room. "Fucker," he mumbles, "God, can he just talk to us like a normal person?"

Star makes an annoyed hmm noise in the back of his throat, shifting in his seat. "Yes. Maybe I will suddenly become too ill to speak to him," he muses.

Julio grins, letting his chin drop so it's resting right on Shatty's shoulder. "I bet I can make that worth your while."

He feels Star shiver a little. "I know this is true." His hand slipping over to settle on Ric's thigh.

The rest of the party passes relatively quietly, at least for an X-Force celebration. Mostly just conversation, and they turn on a movie at one point because it's Star's day and they're all trying to make him happy and comfortable. Which means letting him talk through most of the movie and recite every bit of trivia he knows about the story, characters, actors, director, and special effects. Julio listens even though he's heard some version of this ramble more times than he can count, because it's really nice to see Shatterstar so into something right now. Doesn't hurt that he's snuggled into Julio's side, hand still on his thigh like it's easy and normal. And everyone else treats it that way, probably not wanting to upset the heavily pregnant guy with the swords. Once the baby comes, he reminds himself, all bets on civility are off.

Sam corners him at the snack table as he's grabbing more salt and vinegar chips for Star and twizzlers for himself, because he needs something to chew on to distract him from the nicotine cravings. He jumps a little when Sam clears his throat, and he sees that Sam clocks it. He looks a little apologetic, but apparently not enough to leave Julio be.

"So," he starts. "When're weddin' invitations goin' out?"

"We're not getting married," Rictor tells him, fiddling with a twizzler. Rolling it between his fingers nervously. "We can't, legally. Thought Tabby musta told you everything anyway."

"Some," Sam says. "An' I dunno bout you, but I was under the impression that legal don't hold much weight for our team. Least in my experience."

"This is different," Julio snaps. "Marriage is literally all about legal shit, man. Between me being a beta and… And I'm not tying him to me like that, not after I already knocked him up. Wouldn't exactly be fair to him, would it?"

"Uh huh," Sam says, sounding unconvinced. "That really what's best in this situation?"

"Fuck off, Sam, I'm not in the mood for your big brother schtick," he hisses. "And I'm fine. It's what it is. I don't… I can raise a her with Star without tying him down."

Sam nods. "Okay. Fair 'nuff. Said the baby's a girl?"

"Yeah," Julio says, relieved at the change of subject. Smiles reflexively, nervous but instinctive. He unfolds his wallet and pulls out the most recent ultrasound picture from Hank. "Here's, uh, picture," he mumbles.

Most of X-Force has seen it by now, if not from him than from Star. Or Tabby, who badgered him into giving her a picture so she can 'have a record of my niece's giamongous head for posterity and shit'.

Sam smiles. "Sweet a ya," he comments. "Any idea what her name's gonna be?"

Julio freezes a bit. "Uh. Not yet?"

"Ric, man, y'got like two months left!" Sam exclaims. "What've you two been callin' her?"

"The baby," he admits lamely. "It's just been… a lot."

Sam claps him on the shoulder. "Well, maybe it's time to hit the books."

"Yeah," he manages. The twizzler is sticky in his fingers as he walks back to the couch.

He doesn't bring up what Sam said, but it sticks in his brain as he sits back down next to Shatterstar. They really do need to name her, or at least come up with some options. Still, there's not long between the credits rolling and a general hooting and hollering as a dead-faced Domino wheels out a cart of gifts and then immediately steals some chips and leaves the room without a word. He sucks nervously on his twizzler and eyes the packages dubiously. He's not sure what his friends think would qualify as a good baby shower gift, and he's a little afraid to find out.

"What is going on?" Shatterstar asks him in a whisper, his brow furrowed, "It is not my birthday."

"Remember the movie we watched?" Julio replies, "Where they got all the gifts?"

Star makes a little 'oh' noise, "Preparing us for the battle to come. The Cadre do similarly before deadly missions."

"Uh, yeah. Hopefully not as deadly, though," Julio agrees. So used to Star's logic by now that he doesn't bother correcting him.

"I would like to see these gifts," Shatty decides. He starts to move to his feet, but Terry clucks at him disapprovingly.

"No, boyo," she scolds, "We'll bring them ta ye."

Star makes a face, but settles back into the couch. "Very well," he decides, a stubborn tilt to his chin. "Bring them."

The cart is wheeled over to them, and Julio eyes the gifts with a weird pit in his stomach. It feels so unreal still, like any second he'll blink and this'll have been some insane dream. Like he's sleepwalking. The warmth of Shatty against his side is a good reminder that he's very much awake. Or maybe not. He's had plenty of dreams that start like this, just the two of them curled up together. Not even sex dreams, which makes him more embarrassed than a wet dream would. Just holding onto each other. It makes him feel childish and stupid, being so clingy. Shatterstar is only this clingy 'cause of hormones and confusion. Julio just happens to be a convenient source of comfort. He has to remember that. He can't count on this continuing once the baby arrives. He can't get used to it.

He's not allowed to.

The first gift is a cheap foam sword, the type you get at a county fair. There's a post-it note with scribbled words on it: Good luck you two. Domino's handwriting. Shatterstar seems pleased with it, testing the weight of it in his hand.

"She is good at gifts," Shatty says.

"No," Tabby snorts from where she's perched on the arm of the sofa, "You two are just the same kinda freak." Rictor leans over to swat at her, but she dodges and flips him off.

"Julio," Star admonishes, and he's so clearly pouting about it that Julio snorts. He does lean back against him though, because he's feeling cozy.

"Sorry," he says, and feels brave enough to turn his face into Star's hair for a kiss. Shatterstar hums, pleased, then sets the sword aside carefully.

"This one's from me," Terry says, handing Star a wrapped box. Shatty carefully finds the seams of the wrapping paper and peels off the tape, fastidious as he unwraps it without tearing the paper even a bit. He looks down a the box, head cocked. Julio looks over his shoulder at it. It almost looks like it could be a toy TV. Fitting, for Star's kid.

"It's a light and music machine," Terry says. "Ye put it in the crib and it soothes the babe. I thought it was sweet."

"I like it very much," Star agrees. "Her own television. It is good."

"That's what I was thinking," Rictor agrees. "Look, I think it's gotta little remote thingy."

It's ocean themed, so it's shaped like a shell, but the big button in the middle is pretty obvious. It's painfully cutesy, but Julio finds he doesn't mind all that much. Little girls are supposed to have cutesy shit, right? Hairbows and dolls and stuff like that. At least, his sisters had a lotta that stuff, and it seemed to make them happy.

Star folds the wrapping paper up neatly, because he is kind of a freak, and sets it on top of the box, which he puts back on the cart. The next gift is smaller, a sloppily wrapped package with a big bow on it. Bright pink and eye-wateringly neon yellow, so Julio is pretty sure he knows who it's from. Star removes the bow and the wrapping paper with the same carefulness as the previous gift, and it's cute. He's cute, the way he focuses on this. He wonders if Shatty will show that same care and attention to detail with the baby. Probably. He's like that with most things, and moreso when it's something important to him. Or when it's Julio, but that's just 'cause Star is his best friend. The bundle inside is a little onesie, pink with pinker letters done in metallic puffy paint that reads "Watch your language, asshole, I'm a baby". It's clearly handmade, the letters lopsided and the paint smeared in places. On top of that are a baby-sized pair of sunglasses.

"Really?" Julio deadpans, looking at Tabby. "You think I want my kid learning to cuss from you?" He's teasing her, affection clear in his voice.

"I think she'll learn plenty of that from you," she shoots back.

When Julio looks back, Shatterstar is still examining the onesie, rubbing his fingers over the paint with a furrowed brow. He looks like he's feeling some kind of big emotion over this.

"What's up?" Ric whispers.

"It will be too small," Star says. "The baby will not be this small."

"Uh," he says, surprised. "Yeah, man, they usually are. C'mon, you've seen babies on TV."

"Oh," and he still sounds unsure. "I thought that was exaggerated for dramatic effect in order to elicit an emotional response from the audience."

Julio really doesn't know what the hell he's supposed to do with that, so he exhales. "Nah. Babies are really that tiny."

"I was not," Star says faintly, a frown on his face.

He's not going to argue about that hypothetical, because thinking about Shatterstar as a baby makes him feel a little sick. "Well, you're a big dude."

"Yes," he agrees, folding up the onesie and setting it aside.

The next gift is a big one. There's a bow on top, but no wrapping paper. Julio stares at it for a minute, a little shocked. It's an old crib.

"This one's mine," Sam says, looking sheepish. "Had ta throw it together last minute, but I figure y'all'll need it. I got some experience with little ones 'cause a my siblings. We got a few to spare, and y'all're family."

"Thanks," Julio says faintly. It's a nice crib, solid. There's even a new mattress, something he didn't think about but seems obvious, set in with the boxed pieces.

"Thank you," Shatterstar says, and he's got that processing expression on his face like he doesn't know what to do with this. He runs his fingers over the wood of the crib. "It is well made."

"Gotta start 'em well," Sam agrees, a faint smile on his face. "The mattress is new, though, 'cause they tend to tear that up."

"Yeah, I figured," Julio manages to get out.

He's a little choked up. He thinks about his own crib, how if this were a more normal situation with a girl, his mama would be giving it to him. He's suddenly, desperately homesick, thinking about what this would be like in a world where he could have both, be both: his parents'son and a parent to his and Shatterstar's daughter. He knows he can't, will never be able to. But that doesn't make him want it any less. He wants both and he'll never, ever have it. He made his choice when he chose to stick around for Star and the baby. And for better or worse there's no going back.

Jimmy is next. His gift is a sling, the type of thing you can wear to carry a baby so your hands are free. "I figured you can use this and train," he says. "Just don't start any actual fights with it on."

"I wear it?" Shatterstar asks, looking to Julio for clarification.

"Yeah," he says. "So you can carry the baby while your hands are free."

Star looks excited by the idea. "She can participate from birth in my training," he says. "She will be a great warrior."

"With you two raising her?" Jimmy says, sounding only a little sarcastic, "No doubt about it."

Julio's face warms at the semi-sincere praise. He's feeling really emotional over all this, and he doesn't have the excuse of pregnancy hormones to cover for it. He's embarrassed by how much he cares about all the gifts. The implied acceptance of him and Star and their kid. It feels like home, and he's a little scared by that. He's already lost one home and one family. He doesn't think he can stomach having another if it's just gonna get yanked away. He knows it's only a matter of time before they all come to their senses and get disgusted by him and what he did to Shatty.

"Alright!" Beto announces. "We've clearly saved the best gift for last. C'mon, Shatty, take a look."

He waltzes over with a box in hand. It looks like something from a nice department store, but then again Beto does have money to spare. Julio's just a little surprised he thought this was worth spending money on. He holds it out to Star with a flourish, grinning. Star takes the box, carefully undoing the pink ribbon (Julio realizes he's gonna have to get used to a lotta pink pretty soon) and shifts through the tissue paper. He holds up a tiny sweater, yellow with white ducks on it. It's cutesy, but also clearly expensive, like something you'd see a politician's kid wearing. Next to it is a stuffed animal; a yellow bunny.

"It's soft," Shatterstar says, and that's his biggest criteria when it comes to clothes. He runs his fingers over the bunny too, that pinched look returning to his face. "This is… typical for human children, yes?"

Julio shifts, leaning into him, trying to offer comfort. "Yeah," he says. "Yeah, it's normal." He glances at Beto, daring him to say shit, but he looks a little caught off-guard by the comment.

"Well, I had to pick out the best for her," Beto recovers.

Privately, Julio agrees. She's gonna have a good life, and soft things. It's what any kid should have, and the thought makes a lump form in his throat, the complicated memories of his own childhood churning in his stomach.

Chapter Text

"What the fuck do you mean, have us live at the school?!" Julio slams his hands down onto the desk in front of him. "That's bullshit! No way am I living in Xavier's house."

Cable sighs, and Julio really wants to punch him. He projects the satisfying image of his fist breaking Cable's nose as telepathically loud as he can. Cable doesn't flinch, but it definitely makes Julio feel better.

"I just think you two should consider it," he says in that annoyingly even tone. "It's better for you both to be out of harm's way and close to Dr. McCoy during these last two months, given the health challenges of a male omega's pregnancy."

"There is no challenge that I cannot overcome," Shatterstar scoffs, baring his teeth a bit. Visibly annoyed. "Your concern is unnecessary."

Well, maybe not unnecessary. But Julio keeps that thought to himself. "I don't want a telepath like Xavier going through my head. Or his."

"Charles Xavier is a teacher, I think he knows how to respect your mental boundaries."

He scoffs. "Yeah, I don't wanna rely on his goodwill. Screw that."

"Then let me rephrase: Dr. McCoy suggested you come live at Westchester until the baby is born, because he thinks it's the best way to ensure both Shatterstar and your daughter survive the pregnancy and birth. He put a lot of emphasis on survive, just so you know."

That makes Julio stop up. He shoves his hands in his pockets, itching for a cigarette. The cravings get worse when he's stressed, and he's been stressed a lot lately. He's started biting his nails again, like he did when he was a kid. Peeling the skin back from the cuticles in anxiety or frustration. Tearing off bits of himself in an attempt to soothe the writhing animal in his chest. He doesn't wanna have any new scars on his arms when the baby comes. Wishes he didn't have any at all. He doesn't want that for her, for any kid really. The idea makes his chest seize up, his kid experiencing even half of what he has, or what Star has.

Next to him, Shatterstar bristles at the insinuation of weakness on his part. "She will survive," he hisses. "Julio has been telling me lots of things to do and I am eating healthy. I am getting a lot of auntie-ox-side-ants."

Cable raises a brow, like this is a surprise. "That's good. You have to take care of yourself to take care of her. That's why McCoy wants you to move in, so he can help you with making sure the baby is healthy."

As much as Julio wants to yell at Cable for trying to manipulate Shatterstar's emotions, he can't because he uses the same damn strategies to get him to take care of himself. He hates it, but fuck if he can say anything without looking like a damn hypocrite.

He huffs, crossing his arms. "So we live at the mansion until the baby is born. Then what? Star gets maternity leave and then it's back to fighting your fucking holy war, leave the kid in Professor Xavier's lil mutant daycare?"

Cable's lips quirk up. "Not the way I'd phrase it, but I'm happy to have you both back on active duty if that's what you want."

Shatterstar makes a noise. "I thought my demotion was permanent," he says, sounding shaky.

"What?" Julio says, turning to look at him. Shocked. "Why would you think that?"

"On Mojoworld, those who breed do not… they are never allowed to fight again," he says, shifting like he's getting ready to run away.

Julio's heart aches. "This ain't Mojoworld, dude. If you wanna fight and raise a kid, no one here's gonna stop you."

"That's right," Cable agrees. "You're not the first mutant to have a child and continue on a team. It's far from unheard of."

"Yeah, Jean and Scott did it," Julio says, then realizes maybe he shouldn't bring up Cable's weird family situation right now. Sensitive subject and shit. "And uh… other people too."

"Yes," and Cable sounds a little strained, "They did. It's ultimately your decision, but I for one think it's in your best interests to be within shouting distance of your doctor during these last weeks. Think of it as… giving yourself the advantage in a fight."

"Like Obi-wan," Shatty says, and he's got his thinking face on, one hand resting on his stomach. "I will consider it."

"That's all anyone is asking you to do," Cable tells him. He shoots Julio a look that he refuses to return. "You're both free to go. Relax, and talk about it. Let me know what the plan is."

Back in their room, Shatterstar does a modified version of his usual pacing routine. He's had to modify a lotta his routines, and Julio knows it bothers him. Poor guy thrives on that shit. It's why he likes Cable so much. It's painful and exhausting to watch him panting and visibly exhausted by his third circuit of the room, so Julio sighs and pats the bed.

"Siddown," he says, "I wanna try something."

Star stops, and Julio can see that he's chewed through his own lip. The little holes are already closing up, twin teethmark scars fading, but there's drying blood on his chin. Shit.

"Star," he says, soft and pleading. "Let me take care of you. I'm stressed out by this shit."

That does the trick. Shatty pads over to the bed and sits down. Slowly, Julio places his hands on the back of Star's neck. He focuses his powers, brow furrowed in concentration. Star's got a lotta tension built up, and Julio wants to help relieve it in a totally non-sexual way. Sex is even a lot for Star at this point. Which is fine. It'll make not having it at all after the baby easier, if Julio weans himself off of it being a normal thing starting now.

Slowly, biting his lip, Rictor channels his powers into his hands. Going for the lightest possible touch, and rubbing his thumbs into Shatterstar's neck. Star sighs, slumping forward a bit. Making that humming noise he always makes when he's satisfied. Kinda like he's purring. It's cute, and Julio likes seeing him all blissed out and relaxed. He keeps up the vibes, moving his hands over Star's shoulders and then as carefully as he can lower so he's working Star's lower back. He's carrying a literal weight on him at all times and it clearly fucks with him, super strength or not. Eventually, he works up the courage to ask if Star is cool with him taking his shirt off, and Star agrees. Letting Julio strip him out of the soft baggy top that's apparently specifically made for pregnant ladies. He had no clue that was a thing until now, but he's glad it is for Shatterstar's sake. He keeps working his glowing hands over Star's back and shoulders until he's loose and melting into the bed. It feels really good to do something like this with his powers, 'cause for the longest time all he could do was destroy.

He killed three people when his powers manifested, and put ten others in the hospital.

"That was… wonderful," Shatterstar tells him with a sigh when they're laying in bed together afterwards. He's still shirtless, and he really looks like he has tits. It's kind of a mindfuck. "I like your hands, they feel very nice. The texture is good."

Julio isn't sure about that. His hands are scarred and callused and rough, his fingers short and kinda stubby. Nothing like Shatterstar's, with his smooth soft palms and long lean fingers.

But he smiles at Star anyway, flushing at the compliment. "Sure, whatever you say, man."

"It is true," Star insists stubbornly.

"Yeah, okay," he laughs. "You've got nice hands too."

Shatty preens, like people don't throw compliments at him everywhere he goes. And he looks so goofy with his teeth all bared and nose scrunched up that Julio can't help but kiss him stupid, one hand cradling his stomach. Star falls asleep in the crook of his neck and Rictor can feel their girl wiggling around inside. Like she can't get comfortable in her little fluid sack and is tossing and turning.

"Don't worry, kid," he whispers, "You got a nice comfy bed waiting for you. And I can't sing for shit but your other dad has a voice like a fuckin' angel. And we're gonna take care of you, okay? No one's ever gonna hurt you, I promise."

He swears she kicks a little more at that, and then settles. He thinks, for just a second, that maybe he won't totally fuck up this dad thing. Maybe.

They do end up moving into the mansion. Xavier is there to greet them with that smarmy asshole smile on his face, hands folded like a fucking choir boy as he wheels through the halls and shows them to the room they're gonna being staying in. He also makes a point to promies not to "invade their mental privacy", but Rictor doesn't buy it because the only way he'd know he needed to make a promise like that is if he knew they didn't trust him not to keep his sticky mental fingers to himself, and that would require him reading their minds. He's not so slick.

The room is nice, and the crib Sam got them and all the baby stuff is in the corner. It's actually pretty nice, in the way a fancy hotel room is nice. The bed is soft and the sheets are silky (hell, Julio is pretty sure they actually are silk), but it doesn't feel lived in, and he doesn't trust it. Even if he is glad for Shatterstar's sake that they're here. He has a brief thought of having a shitty apartment just the three of them, then has to shut that down before he starts thinking about it too much. That's not what this is gonna be. Even if it's getting harder and harder to convince himself that he'll be totally fine going back to the way things used to be eight months ago, not when this feels so right and so fucking easy. Like it's the natural progression of their friendship.

In addition to the baby stuff, there's a little room off the side that at first Julio thinks is a like a second closet because rich people have shit like that. Except, it turns out that's not what it's for. When he actually takes a second to check it out, it's filled with pillows and blankets and there's a little lavender oil diffuser in the corner. He sniffs around a bit, checking the place out. He vaguely remembers his childhood home having one of these, where he and Omar and his sisters would pile in and read books or nap with his mom or one of his older girl cousins. None of the older boys were allowed in, and it never struck him as odd. It was the nap room, the storytime before bed room. That's just how it was.

"What's up with the little reading nook?" he asks Hank after one of Star's appointments. "I mean, it's great, but is it just a rich people thing?"

Hank stares at him for a long moment, then laughs. "It's a nesting room. For omegas in heat or during pregnancy."

He colors. Oh. He feels so stupid, and like he's violated Shatterstar by entering that space. No wonder his older cousins weren't allowed in that room in his house growing up. He's a fucking idiot.

"Has Shatterstar never nested before?" Hank asks curiously.

He shrugs. About to say no, until he remembers the day of Star's first heat when he'd wrapped himself in blankets and was wearing one of Julio's shirts. He's pretty sure all the blood in his body has gone to his face by now.

"Uh," he says, "I mean, I guess during his heat he curled up in my bed." The last part is mumbled, because talking about that with Hank is mortifying. Even if he is a doctor.

"That's good to know," Hank says. "I'm not surprised, given how attached he is to you."

Julio makes a face. "It's just hormones 'n shit. He'd cling to anyone right now."

Hank levels him with another unimpressed look. "I really doubt that is the case. I would suggest maybe moving some of the blankets from your bed and maybe some things that have your scent on them if he finds that soothing into the nest. It's good for him to have that space to decompress and bond with the baby."

Julio swallows. "Yeah," he squeaks. "I can do that."

And he does. It already smells like him from the few times he's hidden away inside to read while Star naps, but once he's moved some of his hoodies and a couple towels he's used to dry off into it, it practically reeks of him. He's not sure why eau de sweaty teen boy would be at all comforting to Shatterstar, but he's treated to the sight of Star sniffing around near the door and then creeping inside. When Julio doesn't hear anything from the room for a bit, he pokes his head in the door and his heart melts in his chest. Shatty is curled up in the mound of blankets and pillows, and he's wearing one of the hoodies. In his arms, pressed right up against his face, is one of the towels. When he goes to shut the door, one of Star's eyes flickers open and he makes a needy noise.

Helpless, Julio goes to him and lays down next to him. Letting himself be pulled into spooning Shatty, one hand pressed protectively over his swollen stomach. And it feels like home in a way that hurts so fucking bad because he doesn't get to keep this.

Chapter Text

They're in the heat room, Shatterstar dozing while Julio rubs moisturizer onto his stomach, when Julio brings up baby names. He's been putting it off for some reason, mostly because he's a little nervous to share his ideas. Well, his one idea. Plus the fact that the baby is gonna have his last name because Star doesn't have one, and so that means Star should probably get to choose the first name, right? And what if they choose something stupid and she gets bullied for it? In any case, it's nerve wracking. But, given they've got only like a month before she's due (which is even more terrifying than naming her), they need to pick something.

"Hey," he says, after a long stretch of silence undercut by the sound of Star purring low in his throat. "I was thinking, um, about what we should name her? I dunno if you have anything in mind, or how the Cadre name babies."

Star's eyes open, and he looks up at Julio through slits. "There are no babies among the Cadre. Most slaves are sterilized in the tubes, since Longshot's generation. I am… different."

Well. That's depressing, and a little gross. "Oh. So no traditional names?"

"None. Only… Well, there is one idea. My-" he grimaces "-it was like a name. Somewhat. Before I was given the title Shatterstar, I was what translates loosely to Gaveedra Seven."

Julio looks at him. "Gaveedra… seven? Like the number?"

Star nods. "It is a number. Or something similar." Oh. That's fucking awful. "Gaveedra Eight is not… not a terrible idea," he continues slowly.

"We're not giving our kid a serial number, dude," he insists. "I mean, Gaveedra on it's own isn't that bad, I guess, if you're attached to having her named after you. Gavvy, or something."

"No," Shatty says quickly, shaking his head. "I am not attached to the name in any way. I do not want her to have any associations with Mojoworld. Do you have any ideas?"

He swallows. Focusing for a second on really getting the moisturizer rubbed in.

"Julio?" Star prompts.

He jolts out of his thoughts. "I've got one idea," he says, hesitant. "I was thinking… My mom. My birth mom, her name was Citlalli. It means, uh, star in náhuatl. S'one of the native languages in Mexico. I don't speak it, but my mom did. Apparently."

He feels so nervous about sharing this, for some reason. He doesn't talk about his mom all that much, and it always makes him feel so vulnerable. He's irrationally afraid that Star will laugh at him for the idea. Or resent him for having parents to draw inspiration from. Shatterstar sits up a little, cocking his head and studying his expression. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Sorry, that was a stupid idea," he mumbles.

"I was going to say that I think that is a beautiful name," Star says. "I like it."

He sits up a little. Flushed, feeling… it feels nice. Like he can have some part of his family here, even if they'd never approve. He smiles shakily. Trying to fight back the sudden ball of emotions in his throat that usually means he's gonna start crying. He rubs at his eyes.

"Is that- you wanna go with that?" he says.

He nods decisively. "Yes. And I have heard there are middle names for humans, yes? I want her to have an auspicious name as her middle name. One that has power to it."

He smiles. That's such a Shatterstar idea, that a strong name means good things for their kid. "Any ideas?"

"Xena," he says. "Like the television show. She is a powerful woman."

He snorts. Sure is a mouthful, but it's not like they'll go around calling her her full name all the time, and so why not? It means something to Shatterstar, and he's the one doing most of the work here.

"I can dig that." He lets it sink in. Their baby has a name. Two whole names. Wow. "Citlalli Xena Richter. Kickass name."

"Yes," Star agrees. "Very strong, and very beautiful. Good omens for our daughter."

Truth is, he doesn't know how he feels about passing on his last name. If Shatterstar had one, he'd go with that in a heartbeat. The Richter name isn't worth anything other than blood and death, at least that's how it felt when he was a kid. But it also means his family. His mom and his sisters and the house he grew up in. He doesn't have any other option, so he hopes he can make it worth something for Citlalli. Hopes it doesn't leave such a bad taste in her mouth.

The month creeps by at what feels like a snail's pace. They're both struggling. Star is super big these days, ready to pop. It's made everything feel so real and so close. He keeps waking up in a cold sweat unable to breathe, convinced something bad has happened to Shatty and the baby. He can only finally get back to sleep once he's pressed his hand over Star's belly to feel both their heartbeats. And Star's not doing great either. He's been frustrated his entire pregnancy, but being in the home stretch has really pissed him off. He so clearly hates being unable to do anything approaching his usual routine, though not for lack of trying. He's ended up polishing his swords damn near hourly, to the point that the polishing oil has stained his fingers a reddish orange. Julio had a panicked moment of wondering if the polish was toxic to the baby, but Hank told him it was okay when he'd asked. Begrudgingly, he has to admit Cable was right about them moving into Westchester for the last two months of the pregnancy. It's really been a lifesaver to have a doctor within shouting distance, even if he still does his best to avoid Xavier at every turn. He's also been trying not to interact with any of the X-Men. Star hides in their room, not wanting to be seen in his "weakened state" by the heroes he idolizes.

Still, they do their best to take care of each other. They watch TV and hang out and talk about stupid baby hypotheticals. Julio tries to put together a changing table they got from IKEA, but that doesn't go very well.

"I swear they didn't send us all the parts," he snaps, gesturing at the assortment of screws and wood piled in front of him.

"I think it is this one," Star insists, holding up the directions and placing a screw next to the diagram for reference.

"No, see, it's got the wrong head. Why the fuck are there no words on here?"

"Let me try."

Julio waves him off. "You're supposed to be resting. Plus, like, I'm supposed to do this kinda thing. Dad stuff."

"I am also a dad in this equation," Shatterstar points out.

"Yeah, but you're the pregnant one. That's your job. This is mine. Divide and conquer 'n shit."

Star props his chin on his shoulder. "I think you are very manly when you try and build furniture. It is… sexy."

He chokes, laughing. Ears burning. "Stop fucking around, dude, and help me find the right screw."

"I told you, I think it is this one."

Tabby comes by, occasionally. Claiming she knows he won't pick up the phone if she isn't there to actually bang on his door, but she brings around coffee and makes him go outside and lay in the dirt for a while. Hanging out with Star while he decompresses. He doesn't really like being alone with his own thoughts all that much, if he's being honest, but he takes it. He thinks about, in all honesty, what he's going to do once the baby is born. He and Star should probably be roommates, so Citlalli can have them both around in the same house and not have to worry about commuting between two places. Plus, he's not sure Star could handle taking care of a baby by himself for any significant stretch of time. So, probably an apartment because realistically they can't exactly afford a house. Even if he knows that Star never spent any of the allowance Cable gave them, that's not gonna get them far if he doesn't get a job. Oh fuck, he needs to get a job. He never even finished high school! How the hell is he gonna find a job?! Shatterstar can probably go back to working with Cable. He knows Domino does mercenary work, and that's about the only kind of job Shatty has the temperament for. So he can do that, and Julio will work at McDonalds for the next twenty years, maybe do something with computers. Easy. Except he feels like his lungs are being crushed in his chest from the pressure of this all.

He takes a deep breath, the ground trembling a little underneath him. Okay, so, he needs to get a job. He never thought that far ahead because he never thought he would live long enough to need a high school diploma, or to get into college. He never planned on having kids. He never planned on living to see twenty. But he's gotta, now. There's a little girl relying on him. He tries to imagine it. Living long enough to see his daughter graduate from high school. It fills him with unimaginable dread. But he's in this for the long haul. He can't pussy out now.

When he comes back to their room, he finds Tabby going through a box of baby clothes with Star. She waves him over and makes him sit down and help them unpack it all.

"I went to the Goodwill in town," she explains. "Got a bunch a stuff for Citlalli. Cool name by the way."

He smiles. "Thanks. Star tell you what he chose for her middle name?"

"You agreed that Xena was a powerful and auspicious choice," he says with an imperious tilt of his chin.

"And he's right, Shatty, that's badass," Tabby agrees, snapping her gum.

"Thank you," he says primly. Looking very pleased with himself. "She will be very 'badass'. I will ensure it."

"With you as her dad, no buts about it. Ric, though…" she makes a face.

"Hey!" he elbows her. "Don't be a dick."

"Julio is badass," Star argues. "Despite being smaller and weaker than me, he is extremely powerful in his own right."

"Thanks, dude," he deadpans.

Tabby stays late, squished on the bed with them and watching a movie on the TV. It feels really nice to just have time hanging out like things are normal. Shatterstar ends up curled up asleep with his head on Julio's shoulder halfway into the movie, which has become more and more common the closer they get to his due date. Julio doesn't even realize how wrapped up in each other they are until Tabby pauses the movie.

"You look happy," she tells him.

He raises his eyebrows. "I thought I looked 'stressed' and 'like shit'?" That's what she'd said when she sent him outside for some air earlier.

"Well fuck me for trying to have a tender moment of honesty with my best friend," she says, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, yeah. You look really happy."

He shifts, looking down at Star. At their joined hands on Star's stomach. "I am," he admits. "It's fucking selfish, but I am."

"I don't think it's selfish," she tells him. "I was… really worried about you with all this. I still am."

"Join the club."

"Don't be a smartass, I'm trying to say I'm proud of you." She looks at him, the light from the TV making her look a lot younger. Like they're both kids again. "And I'm glad you have him. And he has you. She's lucky that you guys don't resent her."

"She's a baby," he says. "It's not her fault all this happened. And I'm not the kinda asshole that takes my shit out on a kid. Neither is Shatterstar."

She hugs him. Tight. "You're gonna be a good dad, Ric," she whispers fiercely in his ear.

He wraps his free arm around her, eyes stinging. "You better tell me if you think I'm ever not. I don't wanna be my dad, Tabby. Please don't let me turn into him. Take her away from me if that happens, please."

She pulls back, gripping his shoulders. "You won't. I know you won't."

With her eyes burning into him, he can almost believe it.

The next two weeks are some of the most nerve wracking ever, despite or maybe even because of the fact that nothing much happens. It's easy to get lulled into a false sense of normalcy, despite the fact that the baby is coming any day now. He keeps spinning the statistics about infant and parent childbirth death rates in his head when he's trying to fall asleep, and the idea of losing either of them makes him feel so sick he can't breathe. He has to press his face into Star's neck to remind himself that Shatterstar would never go down without a fight. And their daughter isn't gonna be any different.

He's half-asleep when Star squirms and sits up, his eyes shining in the darkness like a cat's. "Julio," he says, loudly.

"Wha's up?" he mumbles, rolling towards Shatty and reaching for him blindly. "S'middle a th'night, dude."

Star's breathing is uneven, and he looks like a deer in headlights. "I think- I think the baby is ready to be born."

"Course she is, you're almost done. Can' wait t'meet her," he grunts.

Star grabs his arm, bruise tight. "No, I think the baby is ready to be born now. I think I am in labor."