Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Agatha Harkness would like to believe she was a very composed person. But fuck it if there was someone who could completely destroy her image, happiness and posture, was her mother, Evanora Harkness. The very same one who had just emailed Agatha after 14 years of no contact. What the hell did that hag want with her? She was the one who said to never look at her face again… Amongst other things. Agatha still remembered every damn word.

She debated blocking the contact and deleting the message without even looking at its content. She really did. But you know what? It must have been important if Evanora bothered to break the no contact, invisible rule going on between them. So, fuck it, she thought.

What she was absolutely not expecting was a wedding invitation. Her mother was getting married? Who was the poor soul Evanora was able to trap — or was the person an even worse human being? She kept reading.

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Ralph Bohner and Evanora Harkness.

Ralph what ? She really tried being the bigger person but honestly, who on earth has their last name as Bohner. Agatha smirked, the bitch was getting married to probably some terrible man and changing her name to Evanora Bohner? It was fucking hilarious. Then reality hit, her mother was getting married. Married . Her eyes focused on the screen again.

Agatha, I know we left things on bad terms because you refuse to think about others. But you’re still my daughter and I am still your mother. So I’m being the bigger person here and asking you, kindly, to come to my wedding. Ralph would like to meet you. And it would be my pleasure to see what you have been up to during your vacation from real adult duties.

All details are linked on the invitation and since you ran out of here because you wanted to become something, I am assuming you can pay for your own costs. But Ralph did insist on paying it for you. And do bring your choice of partner. I hope I get to meet your boyfriend soon.

Regards, 

Evanora Harkness.

Oh, how she wished she actually followed her instincts and deleted the email before opening it. Her mother was a cunt, an evil person and even worse of a mother. She had never cared about Agatha’s feelings, never considered her daughter as a human being. Evanora made sure Agatha heard it every morning, served with breakfast. As if it was nothing. As if Agatha was nothing. That was, most days, their only interaction. But that was the past and she wasn’t about to let her mother ruin her day, after years and from hundreds of miles away.

She was on her fourth drink. Evanora did ruin her day. But before all that, Jen had already asked her to go for drinks. ‘Like old times’ whatever the fuck she meant by that, Agatha thought. And now she knew. Jen invited Rio fucking Vidal. Like her day couldn’t get worse.

For context, Jen, Agatha and Rio used to be roommates back in college and it was all perfect except a certain someone liked, no, loved to get on her nerves. Like it was their damn job. Take everytime Agatha had a final’s week coming up, for instance, Rio would show up with a different and louder girl every night.

They had made a deal when they first were set together in their dorm, that no matter what, the finals were sacred so no one was supposed to throw parties, or get drunk, or bring girls home at any time of the day. There was a sticky note signed by the three of them stuck to the freaking door. But of course, Rio’s room was right next to hers and they made sure to be obnoxiously loud, moaning like their life depended on it when they knew Agatha was drowning with schoolwork, and finals, and everything else.

So that’s why she was heading for the bar to get the next round. She couldn’t stand Rio, they made every year living with them absolute hell and never showed empathy towards Agatha. She knew, though, that she wasn’t exactly the most easy person to deal with but whatever. Neither were they. 

“Hey there, pretty.” Agatha heard a voice. She ignored, there were a hundred or more women there tonight, surely it wasn’t meant to her.

“I’m talking to you, baby blue eyes.” Maybe it was her. She looked up, away from the nails she was prying on. It was her. She sighed. 

“Do I know you?” She said.

“No, but I have a feeling I knew you in another life.”

“Yeah, right.” She rolled her eyes, tapping her fingers on the bar. She was getting pissed off.

”I’m Mike!” The weird and overly confident man said. “Can I buy you something?” He asked, obviously not getting the fucking hint and coming closer.

But before Agatha could answer, she felt a hand gently grab her waist that could not be his because that would be impossible from where he was standing, and an unfortunately familiar voice say,

“You were taking too long, baby. Where are our drinks?” Agatha fought hard to not roll her eyes this time. She didn’t need to be rescued like some helpless child. Rio pretended to not notice the man literally gawking at them. They angled their head until their mouth was inches away from Agatha’s ear and whispered, “I know what you’re gonna say, and I quite literally don’t care. I just really wanted my drink.” 

Agatha turned her head to look at Rio. “Don’t be rude, honey. Say hi to my new friend, Jack.” She put her hand on the small curve of Rio’s back and pinched them. Two can play. “He just offered to pay for our next round!”

“Uh, actu-“

Rio smiled a really off putting smile that made him stop talking. “You’re kidding! What a real gentleman.”

“Uh, yeah, just put it on my tab, will you? It’s Mike tho’, just make sure you… Yeah, I need to get back to my friends but it was nice meeting you two.” Agatha could barely hear him because he was basically running away. Afraid of lesbians, that’s a new one.

“Stop fucking touching me.” She said as soon as he was out of earshot.

“You’re welcome, honey.”

Agatha turned to look at Rio, who had an infuriating smirk on their face.

“I don’t need your help, Vidal.” She said after a second.

“I know you don’t. I just really wanted to scare a man off tonight!” The smirk double its size now. Fucking annoying.

“Congratulations! Should we throw a party? Should we tweet about it so all them feminists can celebrate with us?” She was feeling her eyes hurting from how much she rolled them that night. Fuck Jen. 

“Oh, yes please! That would be wonderful.” They replied with a wink without missing a beat. 

The man who had picked out her order a few minutes ago came back with their drinks. “Sorry for the wait, guys.” 

“Thank you.” Agatha replied. “No worries, put this and the next ones on Mike’s tab and you’re excused.” She winked.

When they got back, Jen was smiling at her phone. Weird .

“You know, identity theft is a crime, Kale.”

“What?” She looked up, a confused frown taking the smile’s place.

“Either you’re smiling at your phone because you just stole some rich man’s credit card or you are eating pussy tonight,” she said as she quickly took the phone out of her friend’s hand. “And I was right! Would you look at that?” 

“Hey! Give it back!” But there was no real bite, she maybe sounded… relieved?

”What’s going on?” Rio chimed in.

”Okay. I guess we’re doing this now. Sit down, both of you.“ She tapped her fingers on the table, actually waiting for them to sit. “I have a girlfriend and she’ll be here in like less than 15 minutes and I want you two to behave and be nice to her.” Jen said all in one go. Agatha opened her mouth. “Yes, Agatha, she knows who she is dating but you two are like rabid dogs when you see each other, which makes me look like the sane person out of us three.”

“Okay, mom.” She smirked.

“You have a girlfriend?!” Rio asked at the same time. “And we didn’t know about her?” They made an incredulous face.

“Are you gonna behave?” Jen ignored their reactions and looked at Agatha, then at Rio, back to Agatha, then Rio again. Oh, she was serious.

“Fine, whatever.” 

“We’ll try.” That one was Rio. Agatha would never refer to them both as ‘we’. Nope. She was already doing her best to ignore their presence right beside her as much as she could.

Alice arrived after maybe 7 minutes, a tiny woman with red streaks on her hair that made her look cool as hell. Agatha was impressed.

“Did Jen pay you to be here?” She asked. 

Alice just raised an eyebrow. Okay.

A few shots later and she managed to win Alice over. Agatha might be a pain in the ass, but she was good with people (when she wanted to be). Turns out, Alice was damn good with people too, that was why she found herself talking about the love letter she received from her mother earlier that day to a person she couldn’t have known for more than 2 hours.

“Evanora’s getting married?!” Jen said, loud enough that a few heads near them turned to look.

“Exactly.”

“Dude, your mom’s fucked up.” Alice gulped.

”No shit. And then she, ever the charmer, decided to add a ‘I hope I get to meet your boyfriend soon’ at the end of the letter. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t talking about a lesbian.” She chewed on the straw of her now all-ice drink.

“That’s perfect!” Alice, who was scowling throughout Agatha’s whole story, shined a smile.

“Did your mother drop you when you were a kid and it’s just getting to you now?” Agatha was so damn confused. 

“Rio is a they/them lesbian!”

Of course, Rio, who was in charge of getting that round, came back just in time to hear Alice say their name. 

“Yes, I am.” They agreed, placing all their drinks on the round table and finding their seat, unfortunately, next to Agatha.

“Congratulations on coming out.” Agatha deadpanned. “What the fuck are you on about, Alice?” She grabbed the drink Rio placed in front of her without looking at them, taking a sip and looking at Alice like she had grown two heads.

“Don’t you see? You need a boyfriend to shut your mother’s mouth, or give her a heart attack so bad she dies and leaves you alone but if you really think about it, she would probably come back as a ghost to haunt you.” She was totally rambling at this point.

“I hate ghosts.” Rio added. They didn’t even fucking know what the topic was. So irritating.

“Maybe you’ve got alcohol poisoning.” She declared, because as fast as Alice’s ramble went, so did her drink. Jen finally found someone to match her freak.

“Take Rio as your date to your mom’s wedding.” It was Alice’s turn to roll her eyes, like her point was obvious. “Isn’t it perfect, babe?” She asked Jen, who somehow in less than 5 minutes managed to fall asleep and was now snoring, her head resting on Alice’s shoulder. “Whatever, she would agree with me.” She turned back to Rio and Agatha after leaving a soft kiss on Jen’s forehead. “Rio, you do know her mom’s a total cunt, right?”

“That is an offense to every cunt out there.” Rio mumbled as they sipped their beer. Boring choice of drink.

“Anyway, Agatha was telling us Evanora’s getting hitched and she asked Agatha to come and bring her boyfriend.” She said simply. “You could be the boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend.” 

There was silence for a beat. Then,

“Oh my fuck.” Agatha burst into laughter. “You definitely have alcohol poisoning and your mom did drop you when you were a kid. Fuck, I’m gonna wet my pants.” She couldn’t stop laughing.

“The thought of me being your boyfriend turned you on so much I got you all wet, Agatha?” Rio turned to look at her with an amused glint on their face.

She ignored them because she couldn’t stop laughing. Fuck. Maybe she had alcohol poisoning too. 

“I- I can’t. I need to go to the bathroom.” She was in fact almost peeing.

You know, for someone who drained almost every drop of alcohol on this bar, she actually managed to get up and cross it all the way to the stalls with the sticky floors and way too many girls reapplying their makeup without falling face first on the floor.

“That was the best piss of my entire life.” Agatha said as she got back, sliding to her tool again.

“I’m glad.” Alice smiled, she seemed a little more alert. “I think it’s time to pack this up, guys. Jen’s dead to the world.” 

“Yeah. I’m fucking exhausted.” Rio agreed. 

“Y’all are no fun.” She was just being annoying, Agatha was actually so fucking tired and mentally drained she could and should sleep for the next 20 hours. 

She did not sleep for 20 hours. Good thing for her, she never got hangovers, ever. That was her special talent.

What did give her a headache, though, was remembering why she got so freaking drunk last night — she still needed to RSVP and tell her mother if she needed a plus one or not. 

She looked at the clock, barely 10 a.m.. Too early for this shit. So she got up from her 3 layers of blankets nest, headed for the bathroom to take a much needed hot shower and start her day.

Agatha was in the kitchen making herself a cup of coffee because that was the only thing she knew how to make without having to call the local fire station when her phone rang. People knew not to disturb her saturday mornings, but apparently someone had a death wish. She picked up her phone but didn’t recognize the number calling, so she let it go straight to voicemail. The same number called again. She picked up the damn call this time.

“Who the fuck is this?”

“And they say chivalry is dead!” The person said.

Wait a minute, Agatha recognized that voice. Of course it would be Rio Vidal calling her on a saturday.

“Who gave you my number?” 

“We had a group chat from when we were roommates, remember?” Riiight.

“What do you want?” She tasted a sip of her coffee, still too hot to drink. She put it down on the table again and waited for Rio to answer why she was being bothered for two days on a roll by them.

“Good morning to you too, Agatha. Yes, I’m alright, thank you for asking, how are you?” They deadpanned.

“Would be better if you weren’t calling me. What do you want, Rio?”

 “I’m offering myself to be your boyfriend so you can piss off your mother.” 

Agatha was unimpressed, really. “Is this your way of trying to get into my pants? It’s not happening.” 

“C’mon, Agatha. Think about it.” Rio said, and Agatha could hear their smirk through the phone. Annoying.

“Think about what, exactly?”

“I’m very good at pretending, and I’m also very good with parents, they love me.” 

“Right, and what about homophobic mothers who kick out their child from home at 17 because they caught said child going down on a girl at a party? Do those fall for your delightful personality too?” 

She paused. Agatha didn’t know why she said that. The only person who knew about this was Jennifer, she made sure to let everyone know she left home because the world was too big to stay in just one place. Of course, she never managed to hide the fact that her mother was a total cunt, it sometimes slipped, but Agatha never got into too much detail with anybody. Except, it seemed, for when she was drunk or early in the mornings.

“I’m very charming.” That was all Rio replied, no ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘are you okay’, no pity on their voice. See? Fucking weird. There was a feeling of relief growing inside of her, grateful Rio chose another path instead of carefully stepping on eggshells, one she chose to ignore.

“Forget it, Vidal. Ain’t happening.” Agatha exclaimed. ”Leave me alone.” And ended the call, tossing her phone on the couch behind her. 

She went on with her day. Then suddenly, almost a week had passed.

Agatha tried really hard to come up with some excuse to skip tonight but the reason her and Jen had become friends was because they were too alike. So when she told Jen she had something coming up, or she was stuck at work, or that it was pouring rain, or she had to feed the rabbit, she saw right through Agatha and found a reasonable solution to every single one of those problems. That is how Agatha found herself stuck with Rio Vidal once again; only this time, they were at Alice’s apartment.

She was sitting comfortably on the floor, a black cat nestled between her legs, purring as she ran her fingers down its fur and blinking at her everytime she dared to stop. She was just doing that to mess with it.

Truth was, Agatha had always loved animals. When her father had the time, he would drive them to the animal shelter nearby after she was done with school. They would stay there for hours, petting and feeding all the animals she could while he just sat and watched her, sometimes he would bring this little notebook he had and scramble on it ‘til it was time for the shelter to close. He never let her see it, until the night before he passed. 

It was just the two of them that night, her mother was out, probably over at some lady’s from her yoga class.

“Agatha,” he had said, his voice almost too weak to be heard. “Would you get me my notebook?” 

“But you said to never touch it, because it was yours, and there are some things we can’t let other people see!” She shook her head, unbelieving her father had asked such an absurd question. 

He chuckled, shaking his head. Agatha remembered even that small action made him sick, his head immediately falling on the pillow behind him again. “Would you stop being so damn stubborn?” 

She smiled. She always used to smile when her father was alive. As he made her promise she would only open it when he was no longer living in the same house as her, not breathing the same air as her, because that should be a moment reserved for herself, Agatha broke down. All the tears she hadn’t yet shed since they found out about his disease, all the sobs that she kept stored inside her, it all came bursting out. He just held her, stroking her hair and making promises he couldn’t keep because they both knew they wouldn’t have that long. 

That night, she had kissed him goodnight and left his room with damp cheeks and a notebook hugging her chest tightly. She only opened it two weeks after, when not hearing his laughter, not seeing his smile, knowing he wouldn’t pick her up after school to play with those same little animals like they used to do every week, became too much. 

She was sitting in her father’s office, on her father’s chair, when she finally had the courage to open it. She tried to stop the shaking in her hands, but they had grown accustomed to it for the last 2 weeks. She gave up. Opening it was the hardest part, Agatha knew he gave her his permission, he wanted her to see this part of his life he didn’t allow anybody to know but she felt a sour taste on her tongue because if she finally could see it, it meant her father was not here any longer to stop her. 

And on the first page, she finally allowed herself to cry again. ‘I love you, bunny’. He hadn’t called her that in ages, since she demanded him to stop because she was too old for kid nicknames. Looking at it now, she really wished she hadn’t. 

The first few pages were drawings of animals, the ones from the shelter. Each had the name they had come up with, three qualities and three flaws. She was stunned, all this time she’d thought he was working, gathering ideas and plans for the future. What she wasn’t expecting, though, were the pages that came after. 

Her father drew her. Every page was filled with Agatha smiling, feeding pets, talking to them. The sketches made her look beautiful, alive, happy. It pained and amazed Agatha how her father viewed her, how almost every page was filled to the brim with a lens she never allowed herself to look into. 

All of them had a written note on the right corner, marking the date and a little description, something like “Agatha was extra chatty today”. That made her snort through the tears, her face completely wet from all the crying. A tear escaped and fell on a page dedicated to a little bunny. Years later, she would get one that looked just like it without even noticing. She would name it Señor Scratchy. 

Agatha blinked away the memories from her childhood. She looked up, all three of them were laughing at something she clearly missed. Why was she so damn nostalgic? 

“I think we need more wine.” She declared. “Whose stupid decision was to get just two bottles?” 

“Are two not good enough for you?” Rio laughed, reaching down from their place on the couch right behind Agatha to pet the cat.

“Shut up, I wasn’t asking you.” She patted Rio’s hand away. “Don’t touch her either.” Her voice softened, “don’t worry Mini Wu, I’ll protect you!” The cat just blinked slowly in response.

“She just likes you because you’re the one petting her.” Rio stated. 

“She chose my lap. Get over it.” She pointed out and gave her a few scratches behind her ear. 

They all agreed on ordering two more bottles of wine and two pizzas after that, which took too long because Agatha decided to be a little shit. A girl’s gotta have her fun.

“I’m a vegan!” She had said. 

“Did you just not show up eating a burger? With extra bacon? And extra cheese?” Jen asked from across the room, her finger accusingly pointing to the paper wrap. 

And so the night went, her and Rio eventually switched places (Agatha kicked Rio out of the couch, the couch was big enough that the both of them could sit comfortably next to each other and still have space for a third person), but Rio got Mini Wu to sit on their lap, so Agatha being extremely annoying just for the sake of it was worth it. When she announced their order was coming, Alice offered to go pick it up with her. Agatha shrugged. 

“So, how’s it going? You know, with your mom?” Alice asked as soon as the elevator doors closed.

“Wonderful! We went shopping yesterday and she got to meet my boyfriend!” 

“Agatha.” She reprimanded.

“What?” She smirked. Alice looked like she was about to punch her. “Fine. I don’t think I’m going.” Agatha said, leaning her head on the mirror behind her. She closed her eyes. “It’s not worth it, I’m just signing up to be humiliated or ignored or both, and God knows I have a bit of a degradation kink but that’s a new level of low for me.” She meant it as a joke, but her voice trembled just enough to not look like it. Alice caught it, of course she did.

“I don’t think that’s true, Agatha.” Her eyes were still closed but she could feel Alice looking at her, probably with big sad eyes. 

“About my kink?” She faked a smile, this was what she knew. Forcing herself out of a conversation, making jokes to hide the fact that she was uncomfortable, this was safe . 

“Dude.” And Agatha knew she had more to say than just ‘dude’, but fortunately for her, the doors opened and a couple of kids got in, leaving Alice no choice but to shut up. 

“I still think you should go!” Was the first thing Alice said when they were back at the elevator, this time with pizza boxes and bottles of wine. “This isn’t you hitting a new low, or whatever you said before. This is you demanding your mother to know you’re not a kid anymore. That you left and became somebody without her influence, and she can’t just step on you anymore. This is you letting her know that her being out of your life has made it a hundred times better.” 

“Are you always this intense?” Was all she managed to come up with.

“Yeah.” The answer came without missing a beat. “But it doesn’t make what I said less true. And you know it.” The look on Alice’s face made her gulp. Yeah, she fucking knew it.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Like she wasn’t overthinking it already since she got that damn notification.

When they got back, Jen immediately pulled her aside to ask about the wedding. Jesus. Could she not know a minute of peace? 

If Agatha was being honest, though, this was the most Jen would ever ask about her mother. She knew what Evanora had done to Agatha, knew how it still affected her daily, even after years and from miles away. Jen did not talk about it because she was a good friend and knew even Agatha had her limits. So when Jen asked, she flinched.

She flinched not because she was scared, but because she was terrified. Her body would go into a fight-or-flight response every time her mother was mentioned. The hairs from her neck would immediately rise, she would instinctively flinch. Every time. So, as composed as she looked on the outside, she was mentally still trapped like that little girl, who had nowhere to go and no one she could trust.

”Alice told me you’re taking Rio?” Jen said, with her back turned to Agatha as she got the plates and cutlery. 

Agatha helped herself on a vacant chair, her feet up the table. She needed to calm the fuck down.

“Taking Rio where?” She asked, blinking her eyes slowly, even if she knew Jen had her back to her and couldn’t see Agatha’s theatrics. 

“To Evanora’s wedding.” 

Agatha swallowed. Truth was, she had totally forgotten about Rio’s slash Alice’s proposition through the week. 

When Agatha didn’t bother to answer, Jen turned to look at her. “Cat got your tongue?” There was a smirk on her face.

“Why would I bring Rio, who hates me by the way, if you forgot, to my mother’s wedding?” Agatha said, voice firm. 

She never liked Rio, but she would admit not even them deserved to be under the same roof as Evanora. Her cold stare, her harsh words that might not have an immediate effect, but will stick with you for a long, long time. Agatha was proof. 

She looked up, Jen had set everything she was carrying on the table and was now looking at Agatha like she was stupid. 

“You’re both in your 30’s. Figure your shit out.” She threw her hands up, leaving the kitchen with an exasperated sigh. 

Agatha heard her tell Alice and Rio to come eat in the kitchen like normal people, she heard both of them complain, she didn’t hear Jen say anything else but she sure as hell heard the two of them get up and walk to the kitchen. 

She heard them talking, laughing, eating, drinking. She heard the teasing, but she wasn’t really listening, nor paying attention. 

“I need to use the bathroom.” She muttered to no one in particular. She was slipping. 

She got up. Every step she took felt heavier, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t. She got in, she splashed water on her face, she sat on the floor with her arms around her legs and her head between them. She stayed there for a while.

Every ounce of safety she ever felt as a kid was gone when her father died, then slowly, like baby steps, she managed to build a life, to feel a little deserving of the things she had, to feel like she was worth it. Then her mother appeared again. To ruin everything. 

Someone knocked on the door. Agatha snapped out of it. Jesus, she was officially losing her shit. Having a fucking breakdown on the bathroom floor of her best friend’s new girlfriend? She groaned, feeling her lips and mouth really dry. 

“Agatha?” She wasn’t sure who it was.

The water she was drinking from the sink was not helping her mouth, so focused on getting this done she didn’t hear her name being called again, or someone entering the bathroom. It took the person yanking her from the sink to snap her out of it. 

“Hey!” Agatha complained, like she always did. But in reality, she was grateful her mind wasn’t completely foggy again. 

She slowly looked up, eyes adjusting. The person had one hand on her cheek and the other on her shoulder, big, strong arms. She was just listing what she saw. A very biteable neck, pretty lips and a cute nose, eyes the color of hazelnut. Wait.

“Let go of me, Rio.” She said but made no attempt at moving.

“You were in here for 15 minutes. I came to check in on you.” They made a face Agatha couldn’t quite name. “Are you okay?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“I don’t.” Another indescribable look. 

“Well, then. Let me go.” This time, Rio did. She was reaching the door when Rio spoke again.

“I’m sorry for pushing.”

She turned to look at them, “just forget about it.”

“I meant… About the wedding.” They tried.

“I know I’m a great piece of ass, can’t blame you for trying.” She winked and Rio rolled their eyes at that. Agatha was officially back to normal. Thank God.

“The offer is still up.” They tried again.

Agatha really looked at Rio this time. “Why?” 

She wasn’t Rio’s favorite person and Rio didn’t owe her anything, and still they came to check in with her, still offered to go with Agatha to Evanora’s wedding. Twice. Why? She felt the air shift when Rio looked at her.

“Just because.” That was all they gave. 

Back when she still lived with Evanora, she made a system to ponder the pros and cons of every situation she could get herself into. It was good, Agatha liked the system. But as she got older and her life went on, she learned that it rarely had any use. It didn’t matter between jobs, or college, or having a roof over her head, the system was too small for those things. So she grew out of it. But now, at this exact moment, Agatha thought about it. 

She decided to make a list.

Pros:

• no dealing with Evanora alone. 

Cons: 

• pretending to be in a relationship with Rio;
• spending time with Rio;
• touching Rio;
• Rio.

Eh. Fuck it. The system was never useful anyway.

“Fine.” She finally replied, it felt like she was in her head for too long. There was nothing else to lose because, apparently, her mind was already gone.

“Fine?” Rio shot back. “Did you hit your head?” A shocked look stared at her.

“You heard me.” 

Neither of them talked about it the rest of the night, which was fine by Agatha, that meant no dealing with Rio more than she absolutely had to. Whatever she had just agreed to was a problem for future, sober Agatha. Right now? She was getting shit drunk for the second time that week.

Chapter Text

It was Tuesday when Agatha decided she had to deal with the consequences of her own actions, that meant texting Rio about the terrible situation she put herself in. So, she sent them a message. Simple, short, direct to the point. We need to talk. Agatha was so great at this. Yeah. 

After she hit send, it only took a beat for Rio to answer her back. Agatha reluctantly agreed on meeting the following day at this cafe Rio swore was good (she would be the judge of that) to talk about specifics. 

She didn’t know how the fuck they were going to pull that off, seeing neither of them could stand being stuck together on the same room for more than 10 minutes. But they had to. They had because she was currently marking the “plus one” option on the damn invitation, and there was no going back. They had to because if Agatha backed off now, she would look weak—if there was something Agatha never looked, aside from ugly, was weak.

And they especially had to because as she marked the plus one, she also got Ralph’s number. Getting Ralph’s number meant she had to talk to him and that would make the situation all too real. But she seemingly had no option, since her fingers had rebelled against her and were typing a message to him. As much as she didn’t want to do this, she knew there was also no way she would go to the wedding and pay for everything herself, only agreeing to go because she wouldn’t spend a penny in the first place.

Ralph was… normal? He seemed like a regular guy, maybe a little weird for being so cheery Agatha had reached out. He went as far as telling her he thought of her like she was his own, which was even weirder. The guy didn’t even know her. She wondered what kind of manufactured lies Evanora had been feeding him about Agatha. God knows she wouldn’t tell anyone about her only daughter being a lesbian, or that said daughter was kicked out from home for it.

They talked for a bit. He booked a hotel room and plane tickets for Agatha and her boyfriend, who Ralph was so very excited to meet and golf with. She couldn’t exactly ask him to pay for one more room because that wouldn’t make any sense and the thought of sharing a bed with Rio almost made Agatha throw up. Thank God they were a grown person and could pay for their own room, as far as possible from her. She just needed to tell them that. Later.

Something chimed on her phone, catching her attention. A reminder on her calendar had been set, the name delicately said ‘discuss murder’, warning her that in one and a half hours from this moment she was about to throw herself into some weird and very desperate shit. Agatha sighed, the things you do to see your mother have a stroke. 

Today had been a very slow morning, as in she did not feel like working so she just didn’t show up, and instead fell asleep again after looking at the clock. Nobody ever checked her hours anyway. Agatha was currently gathering the small ounce of courage she still had to get up from her bed, take a shower and move on with her day. After an hour of scrolling through her TikTok, she finally decided to stop roting. 

A shower, a couple of changes and a 20 minute drive later, Agatha was sitting comfortably at her seat, waiting for Rio, who had just texted saying they would get there in five and asked her to get them a cup of hot cocoa and a strawberry muffin. Child ass order, she thought. But ordered it anyway, asking the lady behind the counter to get her the smallest and oldest one.

As she was halfway through her coffee, a familiar voice echoed from the entrance greeting whoever it was that just walked by them. Agatha turned her head to look, and caught Rio’s eyes. They smiled, she rolled her eyes. They excused themself from the woman and said something she couldn’t quite understand from her table, hugging the stranger one last time and heading for Agatha’s direction. Maybe Rio sensed the hundred different daggers Agatha was shooting their way.

“Hey!” They said when they got close enough.

“You’re late, Vidal.” Agatha angrily greeted back.

“I’m literally not. You’re the one that’s awfully early.” Rio settled down opposite to Agatha, looking like sunshine was bursting out of their ass.

“I have anxiety. Shut up.” She pushed Rio’s snack in their direction. “I got you the ugliest muffin they had, so it would match your face and all that.” 

“Aren’t you the sweetest?” They shook their head and took a bite of the muffin. “Still pretty yummy though. Just like me.” 

“I cannot believe you just referred to yourself as ‘yummy’.” 

They talked a lot at first. Well, Rio talked. Agatha wasn’t a fan of oversharing to people she barely knew and that was what she said to Rio, who just replied with ‘I’ll go first, then’. That absolute asshole.

Rio wanted to know about Agatha’s childhood, about her school and which neighbors were her favorites. They asked which piece of clothing she most used when she was a kid, easy question, it was the dark green hoodie she made her father think he lost. She would sleep with it almost every night, she still did. They were all weird but useful questions that made the whole thing a little less awkward. Only a little.

Agatha was so sick of hearing Rio’s voice that she was sure if she were to take a Rio test right now, she would graduate with honors. Which was weird, considering Rio and her spent the majority of the time they knew each other either fighting or ignoring one another.

“One more thing.” Rio said, hands leaving their third steaming cup of hot chocolate to look at their wristwatch.

She picked up her phone to look at the time and shrugged. “You have about 15 minutes until you kill me of boredom and I have to leave for work.” They didn’t need to know Agatha skipped work today mainly because of this.

“We don’t actually need to discuss it if you’re not comfortable,” Rio made a pause, not bothering to look Agatha in the eyes, “but about touching.” They looked up from their mug this time, the steam clouding Agatha’s view of their face just enough but doing a poor job of hiding their smirk. 

“What about touching?” She asked carefully.

“It would sell us better if we touched. Nothing big, just like, holding hands and kissing?” Agatha raised an eyebrow. “I’m not saying we should fuck.” They added.

“Wow, ask a girl to dinner first.” Agatha smirked, “I’m fine with holding hands, but I don’t see the need to kiss.” 

“Really?” Rio shot her an incredulous look. 

“Why? Do you wanna kiss me?” She teased.

“Your boyfriend should be allowed to kiss you whenever they feel like it.” Something told her they might have been in a staring competition because Agatha couldn’t fucking unglue her eyes from Rio’s, couldn’t blink.

“Oh, should they?” She got an invisible inch closer. 

“Do you want me to kiss you, Agatha?” Rio almost spelled out the letters of her name. 

She blinked and looked away from Rio. What the fuck was going on here? Agatha moved back, settling herself on her stool again. She crossed her arms and thought. Partners did kiss, but this was Rio and she would rather have her tongue cut off with a rusty chainsaw on any other occasion but again, they needed to sell this shit.

“Fine.” She said eventually, grateful they let the moment pass.

“But?”

“But,” she completed, “I decide when it’s necessary. No funny business.” Rio looked at her like she just told her the dumbest joke in the world. 

“Fine by me.” They agreed. “Do you want to test it out?” A mischievous glint in their eyes.

“What?!” Agatha barked. 

“What?” The glint stayed, but now with a fake, innocent smile. They leaned closer, their hands leaving the mug and reaching for Agatha. ”I asked you a question.” Rio added after a beat.

Agatha shrugged and leaned even further from them, stopping any attempt Rio made to touch her. “Sure, handsome.” She saw Rio’s cheek turn red. Huh. She would keep that information for later. “What are we gonna do? Hold hands under the table?”

“Look at you, already wanting to hold my hand. We’re gonna make a cute couple.” Agatha rolled her eyes at that, but scooted over to make space for Rio to sit beside her when they got up.

“Hi.” They said as soon as they sat, head turning to look directly at Agatha’s eyes. There was a soft smile placed on their face.

“You’re so annoying.” She spit back.

She felt something warm, a hand, gently unfold her fingers, one by one, with a calm that was almost infuriating. Agatha lost her patient by finger number three.

“If you want to hold my hand, just fucking do it.” 

Rio’s eyebrows shot up and they snorted, but Agatha hadn’t actually made a joke. 

“I’m gonna hold your hand for a little bit, just tell me how it feels. Okay?” Big brown eyes were staring at her. Agatha noticed that Rio hadn’t made any move yet, actually waiting for a go. 

So, she nodded. Could they get done with this form of medieval torture already.

“I want you to use your words.” Rio waited.

“Does this line work for you? At all?” 

Rio just sat there, still waiting.

“Jesus. Fine.” She felt the need to clear her throat. “You can hold my hand if you promise not to come in your pants.” 

At that, Rio really laughed. Head shot back and all that. “I promise I won’t come in my pants.” 

“If you’re behaving, then.” She shrugged.

And so they held hands. They talked a little more, and the more they talked, Agatha realized that having to touch Rio wouldn’t be such a problem. She felt a finger caressing the back of her hand every now and then and it felt something close to bearable. But she was getting too used to it, too close to comfortable with the touch. She needed Rio to stop. 

“I need to go.” She said, standing up and yanking her hand from Rio’s reach. They looked up, confused. “I actually have a job to do now, unlike others.” 

“I don’t doubt that.” She felt Rio could see right through her bullshit, but nothing else was said. Thank the fucking gods.

“Right.” Agatha looked over the table to check if she got all the stuff she had scattered around the surface since she got there. “Thank you for the coffee, you’re a real gentleman.” She knew Rio had made no mention of paying for her. “Also,” she started. 

“Yeah?” Rio looked a little amused, to say the least. 

“I’m going shopping this weekend and this is not,” she made sure to emphasize the ‘not’, “an invitation.”

“I didn’t say it was.” They said, that amused expression still there. Did someone book Agatha a child entertainer job and forgot to fucking tell her?

“Stop looking at me like I’m telling a joke. I’m going shopping and you’ll be getting pictures of the things I'll be buying so we match like all the other annoying couples.” She was getting a headache.

“Like clothes?” Rio fake gasped. “You want to match clothes with me?”

“Don’t make me regret this.” She replied as she turned to leave. “One more thing.” 

“What is it?” Rio was still smiling.

“You’re paying for your hotel room.” She said and walked away.

She might’ve heard a faint ’Agatha!’ as she left. Might’ve.

She had lied throughout her whole life, one more stunt shouldn’t be much of a problem. It shouldn’t. Hell, she lied for a living. Agatha had no idea why she was overthinking this so badly. She shrugged off those thoughts and Rio when her phone chimed. There was a notification from them, text me when you get home . What was she, 16? Agatha knew how to drive safely.

Twenty minutes later, she was home with her feet up and reacting to Rio’s message with a thumbs up. Which made them reach out again, asking if she knew how to text like a normal person, which made Agatha ask Rio if it ever occurred to that empty little head that she just didn’t want to talk to them. And if that interaction made the both of them talk nonstop for a few hours, it was really nobody’s business. It was also nobody’s business how Rio had the annoying habit to send a hundred messages at the same time, and how Agatha read them all but only answered to one, maybe two, just to piss off Rio. It was especially nobody’s business if she fell asleep smiling. Because she absolutely didn’t.

The rest of the week flew by, Agatha barely had time to breathe with the amount of work she had to do. Too many people to call, too many deals to close, documents to sign, organizations to manipulate, the whole ordeal. So, when Saturday came, she was fucking relieved. 

She had always enjoyed shopping. The feeling of spending so much money you know you’re completely fucked at the end of the month but still getting everything you need and like? There was nothing like it. And now she made enough money to be considered rich, so who fucking cared.

The first store she went to was one she was a frequent customer of, because the clothes were nice and she always got a discount from indulging in a little harmless, fun flirting. As she swam through the sea of clothes, picking up everything she liked and knew would make a killer outfit, she wondered if maybe Evanora could’ve changed, even if a little bit. Years had passed, she was getting married , and so far the guy looked okay enough to tolerate her and not be a thousand times worse. She wouldn’t go as far as believing she was now an example of what a mother should be, that would absolutely never happen. But maybe, just maybe, she could’ve grown and learned to live with who Agatha was. Ten years ago, her mother wouldn’t even have reached out. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a girl, maybe her age, approaching her to offer a bag because Agatha got out of control and picked up so many items a few of the clothing were falling from her arms. She gave her a smile that made the girl blush and mumble something Agatha was unsure about what it was. She probably looked insane with the bag with a bulge that size, but again, everyone in that store knew her so she didn’t pay it any mind. 

She must’ve gone through half of her bag, and patience, when she finally found something worth wearing that was comfortable at the same time.

Agatha unlocked her phone, going straight to her messages with Rio and opening the camera, taking a quick pic on an angle she knew made her ass look good. She hit send.

Agatha: [photo]

Agatha: Ralph will pick us up. This is the one outfit we won’t match

Rio: U look hot

Rio: Why can’t we match it?

Agatha: You talk too much

Rio: Dude

Rio: I just asked a question

Agatha: I’m moving on to the next store. Keep up

Rio: Which store next?

Rio: ???

Agatha turned off her phone and tossed it on top of her discarded clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror, let out an exasperated sigh and made quick work of changing, leaving the fitting room and paying for her new clothes. And she got a discount.

She passed by a lot of different stores, buying maybe just a little more than she actually needed for the wedding. Shoes, dresses, bit-too-tight skirts, overalls, purses, more accessories than she had hair on her head, you name it. Unfortunately for Rio, they got a picture of every single thing Agatha spent her money on that afternoon, and even the ones she didn’t, randomly asking for their opinion about certain items. Agatha didn’t like Rio, but she had eyes and could admit they knew how to dress properly, so, it only made sense to ask them their perspective casually. 

But she didn’t let Rio even dream about the possibility of Agatha admitting that to them, always arguing with whatever they chose first just because. It basically went: Rio picked something, texted it for Agatha’s approval, she reacted with a thumbs down, Rio said she didn’t even look at the picture, Agatha replied that they did not know how to dress without her help and made them look for other stuff with very specific instructions, which they did just like a lapdog, a whiny one at that, after a few minutes they would return with more pictures and finally, they would discuss their options and pairings and settle down on one outfit.

Agatha told them that it was better if they settled on a specific color that they both could wear. If Rio chose to wear a green tie, Agatha could pick a green dress. If Rio were to use a purple suit, she would have a purple necklace, bla bla bla. It wouldn’t be something as ridiculous as kids do, but would still pass the message. Agatha was a genius.

Next thing she knew, she was laying naked on her bed after a delicious shower, unable to move a muscle, exhausted. As superficial as it was, walking around putting clothes on and off for the better part of the day did take its toll on a person. That so, Agatha dozed off and only woke up Sunday morning. 

For Agatha’s dismay, Rio kept on sending her messages for most of the following week. Always stupid stuff too like if Rio was a computer and Agatha downloaded a virus by accident, would Agatha just keep on using it like nothing happened or try to get it fixed. Who even thinks of stuff like this and thinks it’s a normal thing to ask other people that. And when her answer was I’d slam you with a hammer, Rio sent her a whole fake breakup text saying they couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t be there at their lowest. Agatha reacted with a confetti emoji. 

They had settled on Alice and Jen driving them both to the airport, because Agatha didn’t want to drive, much less give Rio a lift. If the alternative was being stuck in a car with three of the most annoying people she knew, so be it. She could jump out the window any time. Jen made a show of pretending to cry because her two best friends were going off to war and leaving her to fend for herself, which made Alice roll her eyes and smack her girlfriend on the shoulder. They said their goodbyes and when Alice went to hug her, she made Agatha pinky promise she wasn’t gonna shoot Rio in the head, or drown them, or asphyxiate them with a pillow, Agatha agreed but only because she was much more creative when it came down to murder than Alice. And prison would be so very worth it. Maybe she would get a prison wife and prison mom, prison kids and everything they showed on Orange Is the New Black.

Airports were always a hassle, people rushing to get where they needed before losing their flights, ugly ass suitcases with eye-hurting colors and too vast, which had always bothered Agatha a little. That’s why she was tapping her right leg on the floor like a lunatic. Rio had asked, Agatha told them to mind their business and that was the first time Rio did what Agatha told them and went off to do God knows what. But her dream of Rio getting hit by an airplane shattered too soon when they came back with hot camomile tea, saying they were the one who had to sit next to Agatha for the rest of the day, and this was much more for their sane than hers.

Agatha wanted to spill the beverage on Rio’s head but instead, she settled on thanking them like normal people would. Blame her for being a little anxious about seeing Evanora after 14 years. About showing up with Rio, putting them on the spot like that. And for not really trusting airplanes. And for the amount of noise this goddamn airport produced.

”Do you wanna know a fun fact?” Rio spoke out of nowhere.

“No.” Rio let her be, for a while. Agatha was tracking every move an old lady with a disgusting yellow coat did. She had just dropped her phone and Agatha wondered if the woman would kneel and risk not getting up again or ask someone for help when something blocked her view. It was Rio. Of course it was.

They were squatting, hands on either side of Agatha’s seat and when she thought the situation couldn’t be more ridiculous, 

“Did you know sharks have two dicks?” A gap toothed smile.

“I beg your finest pardon?” She looked at Rio.

“Hello, welcome back.” One of their hands tentatively left the seat and rested on Agatha’s left leg. She looked at the hand, then back at Rio. They retrieved it back to its original place.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s actually insane. And it’s not exactly dicks, I just said that to get your attention.” Agatha just stared.

“Sharks have two pelvic fins.” They kept on talking. “You know that little part just behind their belly? Since they have two pelvic fins, there are two claspers. Not dicks, claspers. But it’s funnier if we say dicks.” 

“You are so weird.” 

“Only a little.” They got up and moved back to the seat next to Agatha. “They don’t use both at the same time, if you’re wondering.” Rio added, finding this all too amusing.

“I’m not.” 

Rio hummed. 

A minute passed. Agatha couldn’t take it.

“Why the fuck do they have two dicks for if they don’t use both?” 

Rio had a shit eating grin. Fuck them.

“They don’t use both simultaneously and like I said, it’s not a penis. It’s a reproductive organ that they use to expel sperm onto the female shark's vent.” 

“If God truly exists I’ll be killed in 5 seconds.” She exclaimed, burying her head in her hands.

“It all depends on the angle.” Rio completed, smugness all over their voice.

”I must’ve done some fucked up shit on my past life. I don’t deserve this.” Agatha murmured.

She had always hated airports, so she let Rio take the lead this time and get all their stuff fixed and ready, 

“Do you wanna watch something together?” Rio asked just after they got on the plane and were sitting comfortably at their seats.

“Do you ever shut up?” She shot back.

“I’ll take that as a no.” They lowered their hand that was offering Agatha a side of their headphone. She almost felt bad. Almost. “You don’t always have to be so defensive, you know. You agreed with this.” They gestured between both of them.

“And I’ll regret that decision ‘til the day I die.” 

That was the last thing she remembered before turning her head to the opposite side and falling asleep. Now, somehow, Rio’s head was placed on her shoulder, and Agatha’s head on top of Rio’s. Fuck. She knew Rio must’ve been exhausted because Agatha did quite literally let them do everything for her and opposite to what some might think, she did have a heart. She wasn’t about to shove them off of her. 

Agatha considered her options. She could get up and take a piss, she could try to make Rio face the other direction without waking them up or she could just let it be. As much as she didn’t want to move because it was very damn cold on this thing and she was the closest you could get from cozy in this airplane, she really needed to pee. So, she made a dumb decision.

“Rio, wake up.” She whispered. They didn’t even move. So, she tried again. And again. And one more time. “For God’s sake, would you wake up already?” That did it. Or maybe it was the poking on their ribs. She wasn’t sure.

Rio moved their head up, opening their eyes slowly, like a cat. “Hmubd?” What?

“I have no idea what you just said, but I need to pee and you were drooling on my shoulder.” Their eyes were closing again. 

“Sorry.” Agatha could understand them this time.

“Disgusting. And I can’t even change.” She was already up and headed to the bathroom.

When she got back, Rio looked like there was a snow storm hovering above them. They had pulled the strings of their sweater so the hood was covering their entire face, with the tip of their nose poking out. Agatha only knew they were alive because of the slow rise of their chest. She rolled her eyes and did something very, very stupid.

“Alright. Here’s the deal.” She kicked Rio before settling down on her seat again. 

“Please don’t make me get up.” Their voice was muffled by their sweatshirt.

“I’m cold and you’re obviously one degree away from being considered dead,” she observed, “so, I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth right now, we should cuddle. Just so I don’t freeze to death.”

Rio pushed their face out of the hood. “You can admit you’re falling head over heels with me already. I won’t blame you.” They grinned. 

“In your dreams.” Agatha replied. “Are we doing this or not, Rio?”

“My name sounds so cute when you say it.” The grin was somehow ten times bigger.

“I will kill you with my bare hands then kill myself after so I can haunt you afterlife and kill you one more time. Shut up.” Now, Agatha knew how to look scary, she knew how to add a glint to her eyes while saying some deranged stuff. But the look on Rio’s face was not of someone who thought Agatha was crazy, neither was the subtle lip bite.

“Yeah?” 

“Oh my God, stop being a freak. I can’t believe you’re into that.” They were fucking crazy. 

“Wouldn’t you like to find you.” They shrugged and settled themself on the seat so Agatha could lay on top of them. “C’mon, I don’t bite.” 

When Agatha didn’t move, they added, “unless you ask me to. I’m a gentleman first.” 

See? Stupid. If Agatha knew how to shut up, she wouldn’t be in this situation. She sent a prayer to whoever was listening to crash that damn airplane as she dozed off.

She wasn’t that lucky. Agatha woke up just a little before it was announced that they would be landing, which for her was always the worst part. She picked up her phone and started playing solitaire. It didn’t help. What she needed was to get the fuck out of this can.

Rio had woken up a few minutes after Agatha, and they were actually quiet for once. But when it was obvious Agatha was practically squirming on her seat, they took her hand in theirs without warning.

“What are you doing?” She said through gritted teeth.

“You’re about to cause a turbulence. Just forget it’s me holding your hand and relax.” 

And she did, she had to give it up for Mr. Professional Hand-Holder, Agatha got a lot calmer. The grip was firm, grounding her and at the same time, their thumb was running up and down, so calmly, so easy to get lost in. She only snapped out of it when Rio whispered in her ears saying they had landed. 

“You’re not that bad of a boyfriend.” She admitted.

“Agatha Harkness, did you just give me a compliment?” They placed their hand on top of their heart, looking at Agatha dramatically.

“Get lost.”

“You would die of boredom.” 

She let Rio do everything again, leading Agatha wherever they needed to go. She had texted Ralph as soon as they landed, letting him know they had arrived and her boyfriend was very excited to meet him. Rio had pissed her off, this was payback. 

His photo had popped up when she added him to her messages, so Agatha had a faint idea of how he looked. White, old, with a chunk of hair missing from his head. Pretty much like everyone else in this airport. Great. 

Agatha was doing a great job of ignoring Rio sitting beside her when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She was ready to cuss out whoever this was when she looked up and recognized her soon-to-be stepdad. 

Ralph was real. That meant her mother was really getting married, and this wasn’t a joke anymore. Agatha cleared her throat and got up.

“Ralph? It’s so nice to finally meet you!” She faked.

He didn’t even reply, just suffocated her in a hug for a few moments. When she managed to push herself back and get free, Ralph looked like he just won the lottery.

“Thank you for coming! Oh, your mom is going to love that you really came.” He said, hugging her one more time.

“I’m sure she will.” She replied dryly. Then she remembered. “This is my boyfriend, Rio.” Agatha was trying so bad to hide her smile.

“Where is he?” Ralph asked, eyes running over the airport. 

“Right here.” Rio jumped from their seat, offering their hand. He took it, and Agatha could see the gears turning inside his head. 

“You’re Rio?!” He exclaimed, face blank as he processed what he was seeing, and a smile appeared on his face seconds after. “It’s so nice to meet you! Agatha told me you golf?” 

So, he was normal. Or at least he was doing a very good job at pretending to be.

Rio looked at Agatha with a raised eyebrow. “My dad taught me when I was a kid, but I haven’t played in years.” They went for Agatha’s hand, pinching her slightly before interlacing their fingers.

“Oh, you’re sure better than an old man like me.” The amount of hair missing at the top of his head was bothering Agatha.

“I said he taught me, not that I was good.” Rio laughed, Ralph laughed. Agatha had to laugh too, even though that was one of the most boring things Rio had said so far. ”Should we go? I wanted to grab a bite first, would you join us?” 

Agatha closed her eyes and counted three, two, one . Then she opened her eyes, smiled and said, “yes, join us! I’m sure you and Rio have a lot to talk about.” 

He said yes too cheerfully, and when he turned to get Agatha’s suitcase for her, she aligned her mouth with Rio’s ear.

“I hope you’re okay with being murdered in another state.” And just because Agatha was a menace, she bit Rio’s earlobe before turning back to Ralph. “Shall we?!” 

She was sure she heard Rio’s breath catch.

Ralph was rich. Like, out of this world rich. He took them to a restaurant by the beach, where you could see boats rocking slowly as the sea moved too. The air was humid and sticky, something she had forgotten long ago. He made sure to get them a table on the second floor, promising the view from the top was even better. And it was, Agatha could see everything from there, the breeze a welcomed guest as it gently lifted her hair from her neck and off her face.

“This is beautiful, Ralph.” Rio made a comment.

“It is, isn’t it?” He stopped leading them and turned his body to face them. “What do you think, Agatha?”

“Cool view.” She wasn’t sure why he needed to know her opinion too.

“Could be yours, one day.” Ah. There it was. “This is my restaurant, at least one of them anyway.”

“You’re the owner?” Rio asked after Agatha didn’t reply anything.

“And the chef! Cooking is one of my hobbies.” 

Could be hers? Now she was sure Evanora hadn’t told him the whole truth. She could see it, her telling her dear fiancé that her daughter left sometime after her father died, not bearing to live with his ghost. So she left her mother and everything behind to deal with her grief, but she had always known Agatha would come back. Evanora always had a flair for the dramatics. 

Rio had taken the lead on the conversation, asking Ralph how he did it, when he created the place, where else it existed. While still holding Agatha’s hand, still caressing the back of it every now and then, just how Agatha learned they usually did.

Ralph was pointing to a table, instructing them to sit there while he ran to get a menu and some much deserved alcohol. Apparently, they got there before opening time. 

“Is it too early for wine?” Rio asked as they sat, hands never leaving Agatha’s. She squeezed one time, they squeezed it back.

“Absolutely not! Wine tasting is also a hobby of mine. I’ll be right back.”

“He was born with a silver spoon shoved down his throat. Jesus.” Agatha finally spoke, resting her back on the chair and yanking her hands from Rio to put her hair up. 

“Wine tasting, seriously?” Rio looked at Agatha like Ralph had two heads. 

And maybe it was the air, maybe it was the amount of hours she spent sitting uncomfortably in her seat on the airplane, or it was the realization that Evanora would never think of her with dignity. Maybe it was the fact that this stranger looked at Agatha with much more respect than her mother ever did, looked at Rio with nothing but excitement. Maybe it was all of it that made Agatha laugh like a little kid, tears eventually falling from her eyes. Not because she was sad, but because it was all too comical. Rio joined her, Agatha’s laughter apparently contagious. 

“This is going to be the worst week of my life.” She declared when the laughter had faded, fingers cleaning her damp face.

“I brought weed.” Rio offered, voice still covered in laughter.

“Nice. Think he bought that?” Agatha asked, eyes closing and breath slowly going back to normal. “Us?”

“Definitely. And he’s carefully choosing his words because he doesn’t know what to call me. It’s funny.” Rio snorted and took off their sweater, placing it on the back of the chair. 

“Idiot, freak, maniac, do you want me to keep going?”

“And I thought I was growing on you.” Rio wiped faked tears from their face. “You wound me, Agatha.” 

“Shut up, he’s coming back.” She warned as she spotted Ralph with a man who Agatha assumed was a waiter. He brought a bottle of wine with him and three menus, opened the bottle and said he’d be back to get their orders shortly. 

“How’d you two meet?” Ralph asked, gaze flickering between both of them.

“In college.”

“And you’ve been together since? That's amazing!”

“No, I made them work for it a little.” Agatha smiled.

Rio and Ralph lead the rest of the conversation like they were old buddies, with Agatha casually chiming in when he made a question for both of them. She was content with just drinking and eating the food, which, by the way, was delicious. She told him that and he offered to show them the kitchen and introduce the cooks on another day, because they both seemed like they needed a good night of rest.

The night wasn’t so bad. Ralph, so far, looked okay. That’s what Rio told her later in the night as they got in the elevator, each of them choosing a different button. Thank God.

That didn’t stop Rio from walking her up to her door. She complained the whole way, saying there was no need because she wasn’t five and didn’t need a bodyguard. Rio told her to stop acting like she was, then, and Agatha flipped her off in response. Maybe she was a little petulant, it’s part of her charm.

“I get I look hot from behind, but there’s no need to be following me around everywhere I go.” She complained as she took out the keycard from her back pocket. 

“Fake dating you is one of the most annoying things I've ever done.”

“You’re in for a ride, Vidal.” She blew them a kiss and slammed the door shut.