Chapter Text
It was a good day. Something rare for Scaramouche to think. But today was indeed good. He was traveling alone, the mission ahead of him was laughably easy and, perhaps this had been the influence of his friend, but he’d taken a particular liking in walking through pure nature.
This was why he’d left his subordinates near Liyue Harbor, given the command to an experienced mirror maiden and told them to help out at Northland Bank while he was gone, despite his target location requiring 2 days to walk to.
It had with no doubt been the right decision. Relaxing with the chatter of soldiers around would have been impossible.
“Hey”, Scaramouche suddenly heard a voice behind him. He tensed up for a moment until he recognized who it was.
“On your way to another mission?”, he heard, as they caught up to him and started walking next to him.
“You ask like you don’t already know the answer”, Scaramouche said without bothering to turn his head.
He still saw, from the corner of his eye, that they were looking at him with their typical smile, slightly leaning forward to get a better look at his face. “Yeah, ok, I know where you’re going. Mind if I join?”
Now he did glance at them, a little curious, but more skeptical. “Why? I thought that’s not part of your duty.”
They leaned back again when he finally looked at them, stretching their arms a little. “It isn’t, but I was bored and wanted to do something. I’ve had less and less work over the past few centuries because everyone has gotten smarter, and no one acts up anymore. So, more free time for me. And I’ve just been wanting to spend some more time with you.”
“And you think a mission is the best place to just hang out? I don’t want you constantly in my way.”
He’d never actually minded their company. But he was stubborn. And while the danger of this mission was usually not worth mentioning, any danger was something he wanted to keep people dear to him away from in general.
On the other hand, some stupid, giddy voice inside of him cheered excitedly at their arrival and even more after hearing that they specifically wanted to spend more time with him. It was… irritating. He hated that giddy feeling.
“I won’t be in your way. I can help and you know it’s true. I have my fair share of battle experience and skill, so don’t worry.”
He couldn’t tell if they meant not to worry about them being in his way or about their safety. Truthfully, he’d trust them to be both that oblivious or that observant.
The problem was that they had a point. They were able to defend themself. And they really would be able to help.
He did not want that silly part of him to have this win. He’d allow things to get too simple if he allowed them to tag along, but…
He glanced at their face again. It was genuinely excited and hopeful.
Had they done anything to deserve being told off?
No, of course not. And they always had priority. He sighed.
“Fine. But if you end up slowing things down-”
“I won’t! Trust me. And thank you.”
Seeing their face light up already made it feel worth it. Man, they were adorable sometimes. It made him want to just grab that face and-
‘No.’
He lightly shook his head, cringing at himself.
‘Don’t start to think like that.’
“So”, they spoke up again, “we’re headed to a place with increased activity of the Abyss Order to find out more about their plan, right?”
“Yes.” He glanced at them from the side once more. “If you already know it, why do you even ask?”
They shrugged. “Just to confirm.”
A silence settled in the air, only broken by the animals of the woods.
Scaramouche knew he could start a conversation. They usually did talk. But perhaps neither of them felt like it now, or perhaps (Y/N) got distracted by the animals around. Either way, they silently agreed to leave each other to the peace of the slowly changing landscapes and spent the rest of the day walking without uttering a word.
But as the sun began to set, Scaramouche eventually spoke up again: “We should set up camp for the night.”
They simply nodded, apparently still caught up on something they’d been pondering over.
Having two people to do it, the tent was quickly set up, even before the sun was fully down.
“Alright”, (Y/N) said as they got up and stretched their arms. “See you tomorrow then.”
Scaramouche looked up in confusion. “What?”
They tilted their head, slightly put off by his reaction. “I thought I was going to go and come back tomorrow?”
He didn’t know whether to feel insulted right away or continue to be confused. “Then where will you sleep?”
“Oh, I’ve been traveling a lot, so I got used to basically sleeping anywhere that has basic shelter. A cave should be enough, it will be easy to find something.”
“So you’d rather go and find a cave than just share a tent with me?”
Now he was trying really hard not to feel insulted, but the situation was making it very difficult.
For once, it was their turn to be surprised though. “I… just figured you wouldn’t want to share.”
He rolled his eyes. ‘How stupid.’
“I don’t care. But neither do I mind.”
Did he mind? Did he care? He didn’t know anymore. But he’d handle it, whatever the situation.
“Then I guess it’s easier if I stay for the night.”
He nodded. It made sense. A practical decision. Obviously, it had nothing to do with him. That’s what he told himself anyway.
They entered the tent and he followed, watching them as they sat down and instantly took out their sketchbook. “Wow, you sure have it spacious in here.” They started drawing, all the while talking without looking up. “You know, some actual caves are smaller than this. Hm, maybe I just don’t have high standards…”
Their voice trailed off as they focused more on what they were doing.
Scaramouche didn’t really listen anymore either and instead looked at the sketchbook. It was fascinating to watch simple pencil strokes slowly form a picture. Though it only really was with artists as skilled as (Y/N). He recognized they were drawing Dragonspine, the snowy mountain he remembered passing today.
His gaze wandered up a bit to the features of their face, looking at the paper with high focus. Truthfully, he could have stared at them forever.
Sometimes, he would catch himself daydreaming.
‘It doesn’t matter’, he reminded himself. ‘None of it. None of it is real. And it never will be.’
Never.
…
Yes, and it was for the best.
“I’ll… go take a walk”, he said and stood up. He had to clear his mind. (Y/N) looked up for a moment and nodded with a smile, then went back to drawing.
Breathing in the fresh air outside actually helped a lot. Scaramouche still rarely breathed, since it was an unnecessary hassle, but sometimes he tried it if he wanted to focus or calm down. Now, he felt himself gaining distance from his stirred emotions as he strolled further into the landscape of northern Liyue. Eventually, he reached a tiny moonlit pond with a log of dead wood over it. Having nothing better to do and recognizing that going further away from the camp would be a bad idea, he sat down and simply stared into the water.
Did he know the man staring back from the glistening surface?
Maybe.
He knew enough. Enough to know it was best to keep him locked up.
The person in the water was too imperfect. Too emotional, too dependent, too human.
Never satisfied with what he had.
Always wanting more from someone who was already doing more than enough.
It was ungrateful. It was unfair.
It wasn’t what they deserved.
He and the water slowly nodded to themselves. Yes, he was doing the right thing. What kind of friend would he be otherwise?
The Balladeer almost wanted to thank the water for reminding him of this. A clear sign that he was starting to get tired.
So he eventually got up and went back to the camp, entering the tent to find his friend already asleep. He stared at their solemn, peaceful face for a moment.
So close, yet so unreachable.
As it should be.