Chapter Text
For a time, Crowley only sat quietly in the Bentley, rethinking the last few moments over and over.
He then started to envision another life, maybe after the shock. He and Azira would move somewhere together, perhaps a small house in the south downs, and raise all their children together, after he would tell him of course, but the dream now seemed a distant memory.
“I really do mess everything up don’t I?” He asked the car, smiling. “I really do…” he sighed. “After what I did, it would be impossible…” he chuckled as he drove off in the car.
After that moment it would be another seven months until they saw each other again, this time back in SoHo.
After only having recently gotten back from Paris, with Evera & Anthony arriving first, as not to arouse suspicion. Crowley had forgone driving for a little while, to take a walk around downtown soho, near the bookshop. However as he nearly walked past it, a light seemed to shine from within.
He stopped to turn suddenly from his heel. The window panels had just been closed slightly, to seclude whoever was inside. Crowley bowed his head in acknowledgement, but before he could get a ways away, a small but tinkly voice called out for him.
“Crowley?” He looked back towards the doorway, seeing Aziraphale leaning out towards him. He shyly turned around, still hanging his head down.
“Hi angel…” he then started to turn to walk away.
“Would you like to come in?” The demon’s heart skipped a beat, thinking he’d never be allowed back in. “I have an older bottle waiting at the ready…” he said while lightly smiling. Carefully Crowley stepped forward in small and gentle steps, waiting for a turn of voice, but as it never came, he walked beside Azira into the bookshop, as he closed the door behind him.
When he got inside, he removed his hat and coat, putting it on the coatrack to the side of him. But, then inclining his head toward the hearth, saw Teddy eyeing him from the couch, over a small book he was reading. He merely nodded to the boy, before standing idly in the entryway.
Aziraphale then turned and upon seeing Teddy, was about to ask him to leave, before looking back at Crowley. “Um, Teddy…” he brought his hand over to the other man behind him. “This is Mr Crowley…” the young man only nodded his head silently, eyes dead set on the man.
Crowley did the same
Then the angel asked as nicely as an angel could. “Uh Teddy, could you excuse us for a time?” He looked down to the ground. “We have some things we have to discuss…” With that the boy closed his book, and went upstairs through the metal staircase upstairs, where a closing door was heard.
Aziraphale walked past him, motioning his hands to follow him. “He’s a lovely boy really….” He turned to face him as he walked. “Favors me quite a lot, if I must say….”
“I’m sure they all do…” Crowley thought solemnly.
Aziraphale then opened the back room, where they usually would go, whenever they planned to have a drink in the past.
He sat Crowley down in the middle of the sofa, as he went to the curio to the side of the room, grabbing two glasses and a bottle and setting them on the table. He then poured them both a small drink, taking his in hand, and then sitting on the left of Crowley.
However as soon as Azira sat down, Crowley immediately moved away, so there was a spot between them on the sofa. Both now separated left from right.
Azira then shyly took a sip, as Crowley swallowed his in one gulp.
“Are you alright?” Crowley was sputtered back into reality with the answer.
“Yes I’m fine, why do you ask?”
Aziraphale looked at him seriously. “Crowley, you haven’t even looked at me this entire time…”
Crowley coked his head. “I think there’s a reason for that angel…” Aziraphale lowered his eyes. He then relented himself. “How’s the boy doing?”
Aziraphale seemed relieved to get a question from the demon. “He’s doing well… probably a little upset though that he didn’t get to meet you fully…” the demon turned to him confused, but the angel only brought up his hands. “Don’t worry, I only talked to him about you, nothing bad…”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did…” but Azira only ignored the statement.
“He’s quite eager to meet you, you know…” He then waved his hand around. “-wants to meet the demon of a man.” Crowley chuckled, but the expression on his faded.
“Why did you let me in Azira?” He said turning fully to the angel.
“I wanted to talk.”
“Why?” He asked breathlessly. “Do you realize what I did?” He then brought out his hands incentuating his point. “Do you?”
“Yes, I do…” he then took another small drink. “-And I knew you would too…” Crowley face faltered.
“What?” Azira turned to look at him.
“Remember what I said in the Ritz all those years ago, after you asked me how I thought about you. Crowley took a moment of to think on the words he said.
“Only ever what? Go on, say it.” Crowley had begged, wanting to hear the answer.
““-I ever cared about. But…” Azira then looked at him all seriously. “-You'd lock me up and throw away the key, wouldn't you?”
Crowley didn’t even try to relent. “Yeah I guess, I’d guess so…”
Aziraphale looked at him scrutinizingly. “Yeah…” he then backed away, casting his eyes to the table. “-The thing is I’d probably not even mind-“
-The meaning seemed to slap Crowley across the face.
“So there was no point in me trying to be anything else then huh?” He started to tear up, not even able to look up at Aziraphale. “Always a demon then?” He said starting to break.
Aziraphale shuffled closer to him, placing his hand on his back, but Crowley didn’t notice.
“Just always messing up something right?” He looked up to the sky, glasses falling down, revealing his serpentine eyes. “First with god, then with heaven, and even Anthony, wh-, when he was younger too….” Azira looked at him confused. “It’s like no matter where I go, I’ll always have the smell of hell following me!” His eyes started to hiss, as water began pooling in them. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you Aziraphale…” He said, looking to him. “I swear to god I didn’t!!” He testified looking up at the sky. By now the tears were starting to steam as they nearly galled on his face, but then Crowley slumped his arms down, drooping his head forward.
“You were right to leave…” He revealed, the tears finally flowing down his face; they started to leave a red trace of skin where they crossed, slowly melting away until they dried up completely, before even leaving for the ground. “What did I ever hope for?” He laid his hands on his knees. “I’m just a demon after all…”
With that he got up, but Aziraphale slowly made him sit back down.
“-And all I am is just an angel…” Crowley looked to him. “A stupid, prideful, submissive, dumb angel…”
“No, no you're not stupid angel…” Crowley said, looking at his empty glass. “You never were that…”
“-but I am Crowley. I am….”
They sat in silence for a while until Azira decided to break the peace.
“You said the name Anthony, who is he?” The demon didn’t even lie.
“My eldest son.”
Azira's eyes widened. “You have children as well?”
Crowley nodded. “Yeah two… An older daughter, and an oldest son…”
At first Azira smiled, but then his face turned to horror as he realized the absolute horror both them and their children will be, in regards to heaven and hell. He then looked between them at the empty space.
“Oh Crowley…” Aziraphale cried. “Why did we both have to mess everything up!”