Chapter Text
You've never been the biggest fan of littering, and you understand why someone would do that even less. Watching this irresponsible teenager throw more trash on the ground isn't the biggest problem in the world, you're well aware, but that doesn't mean ignoring it makes you feel any better. Going against your conscious probably won't help the mental state that led you to your nighttime walk in this park, so instead of using your voice to convince the teen that littering is bad, you convince some kind raccoons nearby to help out and offer them the rest of your cookie as a reward. Even though teaching someone to be a better person would almost definitely be the best thing you would have ever used your powers for, you still can't fathom choosing to use this ability on another person if you can help it. You know better than anyone the horror that comes with feeling like your mind is not your own and the pure terror that fills you when you realize you've just done something without conscious thought.
You shake your head to try and clear that train of thought. The whole point of this walk was to keep ideas like that out, rather than dwell on them longer. Looking up, you notice the sky is actually beautiful tonight. The dark purple and navy mixture with the shocking number of stars sprinkled throughout could almost be confused for a painting, if you weren't actively craning your neck to take the view in. Focusing your mind on where you are and what you're experiencing has always been the best method for trying to control the storm brewing in your head. All you can hear now is a few crickets nearby and an owl a few trees over. It's nice, calming even.
The park is serene and empty, allowing a walk that someone could get lost in, and maybe you would have - if it weren't for the inescapable shiver along your spine correlating to watchful eyes never leaving your back. Being scared or at least a bit concerned would likely be a normal course of action at this point, but you're a smidge outside of the realm of normal by now. Giving the situation some thought, you're almost confident that you know the exact ex-spy those eyes belong to. You stay on high alert for a pair of icy blue eyes in the shadows as you continue on the path and try not to alert the man to your suspicions. It's a good bet he's going to show himself sooner or later anyway.
Bucky watches from behind a now-closed snack stand at the edge of the park. If he were honest, it had taken him an almost embarrassing amount of time to figure it out. He'd probably even be a bit disappointed in himself if he wasn't so disappointed with the overall situation already.
The man and his fluffy, white companion had just gotten home when he started thinking about how impressive it was that Alpine's vet, who he knew was already teetering at the edge of being magical, had managed to get her down so easily from above the cabinets. It really starts to confuse him after he has been standing and singing to Alpine for at least 10 minutes trying to get her down from the cabinets in his kitchen with absolutely no success. She might have even managed to hide further back when she heard her owner begin singing. Bucky is wondering if the problem is him and debating asking the vet how to improve his cat-handling skills, when he starts to remember Sam's words at the end of the recent debrief. There is someone out there, some ex-Serpent Society member, that has the ability to convince anyone or anything to do what they request. Who's to say that wouldn't extend to animals? Specifically to cats that are basically unhandleable by just about every other person out there?
He didn't like the thought and he would have given anything for it to not make as much sense as it does. That is how Bucky finds himself hiding out in the park tonight. He's watching his new cat's vet and has never felt more ridiculous in his life. He's ready to give up, hoping his chronic paranoia is what led him down this path before he sees the last bit of proof he needed. The vet is standing by a bench with a teenager sitting nearby. The teen, annoyingly, drops their trash on the ground before getting up. Bucky almost gives himself up before quelling his laughter at the piercing look the figure gives the teen as they walk away - he'd be lying if that look didn't scream "supervillain evil pose" even a little. Then it happens, Bucky sees the vet open her mouth and sing, at least he's pretty certain that's what she's doing. For a moment, nothing happens and Bucky starts to feel relief spread through him, until something happens that nearly makes him question his sanity. Two raccoons come out of a nearby bush, clean up the trash like toddlers cleaning their toys, and go over to the singer to accept their reward…cookies if Bucky had to guess.
Now Bucky might have missed a few decades, but he's convinced that in that time that raccoons have not magically learned to communicate and work together with the average human. The ex-assassin keeps his cool, but continues to watch the scene. He is determined to catch whoever this Serpent is in the act, determined to watch from his spot until he catches sight of a human being controlled and made to do something.
The man is thrown back to his days under Hydra's command for a moment. He knows what it feels like to not be in control, to come back to your senses and know you've done something awful. His vision turns red knowing there is someone who could force that onto him again, or onto anyone else if they wanted to. The whole thing started to make his heart hurt a bit, but the reason is still elusive to Bucky. You had been kind and helpful, cared for animals, and funny to top it off, but the two of you had barely met. This should not be having this type of effect on an ex-spy - yet here you both are. A silent shadow with sadness in his heart hiding in the dark and a thoughtful protector of animals with a simple song to possess any mind.
The walk is nowhere near as calming and enjoyable as it was before you became aware of the stalker hiding somewhere in the dark. You weigh your options a this point. You can continue on pretending that you hadn't become aware of the eyes locked on you, maybe try to run, or you can call out to Bucky and hope he'll understand or at the very least let you try to explain. Neither option appears necessarily attractive, but you want to believe that whatever connection you formed with the man will convince him to understand your situation.
"Okay Bucky, I know you're there," you say out into the darkness, fully aware his super-soldier hearing will catch your every word. "I know what you must think. I know what I've done, and I can't ever change that, but I swear I'm trying to make things right. Please tell me you understand that? Let me explain everything and then you can do whatever you think is best, I promise." You're well aware you sound like you're on the verge of begging and that might just be because you almost are.
You see movement from a stand at the edge of the park. After a few more steps, you can tell it's Bucky, and you really hope that look on his face is understanding instead of a "pretending to let you explain before going for the surprise attack" type of look.
"We'll figure something out - I can talk to the others and everything will be okay. You will be okay. I want to believe you, I know what it feels like to not be able to take things back and undo your past, but how do I know you won't use your powers on me?" Bucky sighs into the night, "because I gotta be honest here, I'm really not going to take kindly to the whole brainwashing thing. Why don't you just come with me, turn yourself in of your own accord." You hadn't exactly forgotten the Hydra-painted past in his life, but you hadn't taken into account just how close your history would hit so close to home for the man.
Might as well take your chance, you think. "It looks bad, I get that. A lot of really bad things happened, all because of me. I made those people do those things, and no matter what I do now, I - I can't take that back," you start to choke up remembering everyhting awful things that you caused back in your Serpent days, "But I swear, Bucky, I promise I haven't done any of that stuff since I got away from them. I never wanted to help them in the first place, honestly. They found me when I was young, so young I can't even recall what life had been before they took me in. I thought…I thought I was helping people. Everything they told me to do, I only did any of it because I wanted to be good and help. All I've ever wanted to do is make the world better." A sigh escapes you as you remember the conflicting emotions upon realizing everything that you grew up hearing was a lie. An evil, manipulative lie.
Bucky still seems skeptical of your explanation, but he wants to know more. "Even if that is true - and that's a big if - why were you with them so long? You have a million ways you could've gotten away, why not use them?"
"I ask myself that pretty often. Until I was around 18 or so, I genuinely still believed they wanted to do good and that I was making the world safer," you shudder when the memory arises of the mission that forced you to confront the truth, the day you realized everything you'd done was for evil and selfish people. "Something happened and it all came crashing down around me. I figured out it had all been a lie. I confronted them, I wanted to leave, but when I tried they decided they couldn't lose such an important asset. They'd rather have to deal with an unwilling and ungrateful tool than have that tool used against them at a later date." You look up and see Bucky motioning for you to continue the tale.
You take a deep breath before going on, "From then on, it wasn't up to me when I was allowed to speak or open my mouth at all. I had to wear this awful, cramped mask and I - I didn't have any choice. I did what they asked of me and it was easier, better. Then one day while I was out on a mission, the Serpent Society's New York base was raided. We came back to the tower in shambles and everyone was gone. I knew that was my only chance and I took it. I did what I had to and I got out. I swear to you, I haven't used my powers on a human being since that day. All I want is to lie low and continue using this curse I've been saddled with to help more animals." Now that it's all out in the open, you can only hope the man in front of you is willing to believe your story. Unfortunately, you've always been a realistic person and know the more likely outcome.
"If anyone would understand your past, it's me - but I can't just walk away from this. You know that, please don't make this worse than it needs to be," Bucky starts moving towards you the way one would walk towards a scared wild animal, "Just come with me, please."
"We both know I was never going to do that…I'm sorry, Bucky, I cannot be a prisoner again. I won't let myself be used for the self-satisfying needs of others." Just the idea of being used as a tool by someone else again makes your skin crawl and your heart race. There are only a few seconds before Bucky either starts reasoning with you or goes the forceful route and drags you back to wherever the Avengers are located these days. You take a risk and sing out to any animals in the park, pleading for a distraction to cover your escape from the area. A few nearby owls and a…skunk, by the looks of it, have come to your aid and are going for the man moving towards you.
You begin to run out of the park, but turn around for just a minute, "I'm sorry, Bucky. I swear I never meant for any of this to happen. I hope you and Alpine are okay." A few tears escaped; you'd really come to like this place and were so excited to try and stay in one place for a while. But now? Where is someone like you supposed to go?