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They had text into the night, met up earlier than they had planned and it had the perfect day. Hiccup had been a complete gentleman. The conversation had been easy. They had gone to the moonlight café after studying in the library, and she had watched in awe as Hiccup drew her. Not that she would admit it, but her heart fluttered when he presented it to her, a lopsided grin playing on his lip.
So, why, as she settled the car in neutral, did Astrid's fury ignite like a wildfire, consuming her every thought? “ARE YOU LITERALLY INSANE?” She roared, slamming her hands down on the steering wheel, gripping it so tight her knuckles went white. The small, blue Toyota hybrid seemed to vibrate with her anger, the dashboard lights flickering in response. She turned toward him, teeth bared, and her wide blue eyes seemed to glow with a fiery intensity as she growled. “Why would you do that?”
The air was so thick in the car you could cut it with a knife. The scent of the leather seats mixed with the faint aroma of the café's pastries, now tainted by the tension between them. Hiccup shifted in his seat, as if trying to disappear into the fabric, his hands fidgeting nervously in his lap. His eyes darted around, avoiding her gaze. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ll just walk from here.” He pulled at the handle to no avail, his chest heaving up and down. “Can you unlock the door?”
“Not until you tell me what possessed you to do that,” Astrid's voice softened slightly, but her eyes still burned with intensity. Her grip on the steering wheel loosened, and she leaned back in her seat, her shoulders slumping slightly. With each passing word, she felt her anger lessen, her heart rate beginning to return to normal.
He tried the handle again, his fingers trembling. “Unlock… the door.” Hiccup's breathing became more laboured, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He turned, struggling to meet her blazing gaze, his eyes wide and glassy. “Please,” he begged, his voice barely a whisper.
Astrid felt her rage ebbing away. Dropping her hands completely from the steering wheel, she flicked the switch with a shake of her head. Hiccup leapt out of the car with reckless abandon, his movements frantic. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his shoulders hunched as he rushed off into the park, only stopping for a moment to slam the door shut.
She watched Hiccup's retreating figure as he crossed the grassy field, his steps quick and uneven as they had been when she first met him. Her mind raced, torn between the logical decision to leave and the inexplicable pull she felt towards him.
Hiccup Haddock clearly had issues, and she didn’t need issues. She needed to focus on her studies, get the 4.0 GPA her parents expected. Nothing else should matter; it was what she had come to college for. She should have driven away but this boy had piqued her curiosity.
She took a deep breath, her eyes following Hiccup as he slumped onto a bench shaded by looming trees on either side. There was something about his vulnerability that tugged at her heartstrings, making it impossible to ignore. Even from this distance, she could see the pain etched on his face, the way he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
Astrid sighed, her breath beginning to fog up the windows. She knew she should drive away, focus on her studies, and leave Hiccup and his issues behind. She had no intention of letting her parents down but as she watched him sitting there, looking so lost and alone, she couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy.
With a determined nod, she made up her mind. ‘What are you doing, Astrid?’ her parents voices ask her in the back of her head as she clicked her door open and stepped out, her movements slow and deliberate, her mind racing. She didn't know what she was getting herself into, but she couldn't just leave him like that. As she approached the bench, she took another deep breath, steeling herself for whatever lay ahead.
Hiccup appeared to have shrunk. Gone was the lanky, snarky boy she was getting to know. He looked like he had regressed, his frame hunched over, making him seem smaller and more fragile. He sat with his head between his knees, breathing deeply through his nose and out through his mouth in a more uniform way than he managed to in the car.
“Are you okay?” Astrid's voice was soft, almost hesitant. His head shot up at the sound of her voice, and he looked surprised to see her. “I can call someone…”
Hiccup shook his head, continuing his breathing exercise as he spoke. “I’m good… I’ve dealt with this… tons of times… of my own.”
She tried to comprehend what he meant by dealing with it on his own. How long had he been struggling with this? What had triggered it in the first place? She wanted to ask a million questions, to understand the depth of his pain and offer her support, but she could see the vulnerability in his eyes. The last thing she wanted was to push him further into his shell. Instead, she took a deep breath, trying to steady her own emotions, and decided to be there for him in the way he needed most – with quiet understanding and patience.
“Do you mind if I sit?” Astrid asked, her voice wavering slightly.
“You can go… I’m good.” He repeated, his tone flat and distant.
“I’m sitting.” She told him, more firmly this time.
He closed his eyes, and she took it as an invitation to join him. Unsure what else to do, Astrid reached across and took his hand in hers, her touch gentle and reassuring. She began to rub his back with her other hand, her movements slow and comforting. “Is this, okay?” she asked softly into his shoulder. “It always helped my Mom.”
“It’s nice,” Hiccup nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. The tension in his shoulders seemed to ease slightly, and he leaned into her touch, finding solace in her presence.
Astrid's mind raced as she replayed the events in the car. All she had done was reach for the radio, and he had lost it, yelling as he smacked her hand out of the air and snatched her phone away from the storage compartment in the central console. She couldn't understand what had triggered such an intense reaction.
She hesitated for a moment before asking, “Was that a panic attack?”
He nodded slowly. “Just a little one,” he admitted, his voice still shaky. “I know that I’m being stupid,” he said, after a while, eyes fluttering open. “But my brain is still buffering.”
“It’s okay,” she said.
“No, it’s not.” His face was solemn; cheeks flushed from the cold and his embarrassment of the situation. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” she assured him gently. “My Mom used to get them, I became a pro at dealing with them,”
“I thought I was becoming a pro too. Clearly not. I can normally feel them coming but when you reached for the radio, then your phone went off and it was right there, my brain short circuited and went to worst case scenario.” He shook his head, frustration evident. “Like always.”
Astrid's mind raced as she pieced together the events that had just unfolded and Hiccup's immediate reaction all pointed to something deeper. She could see the frustration in his eyes, the way his hands trembled slightly, and the effort it took for him to steady his breathing. He had been through this before, many times, and the weight of it was evident in his demeanour. Not wanting to push him too hard, she decided to approach the topic gently. "So, have you always had them or..." Astrid's voice trailed off, her curiosity peaked but the immediate shake of his head told her not to keep pushing.
A cool gust of wind sent a shiver down Astrid's spine. “You’re freezing,” he said, changing the subject and giving her hand a light squeeze. He stood up and gently pulled her up off the bench too. “You should get back to the car, like I said I can walk home from here.”
“No,” she replied, firmly.
“No?” he echoed, eyes searching hers.
“If you’re not coming back to the car with me then we can walk together.”
“You’ll get sick,” he protested, “you don’t want to catch a cold because of me.”
Astrid’s nose wrinkled. “And you won’t, Mr Immunity?”
“Gods, Astrid, you make me sound like a superhero,” he said, a weak smile tugging at his lips as he attempted to steer the conversation back to their earlier playful exchange.
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself, Hiccup.”
“Are you sure you want me back in your car again? I might freak out again,” he said, his voice tinged with self-doubt. “I don’t want to screw things up more than I already have.”
“Oh, I can handle you…” she replied, light-heartedly but her eyes were serious.
“You wouldn’t know how to handle all this…” He gestured to his whole body. “Manliness.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was a double entendre.”
“Oh, make no mistake, Astrid, it was supposed to be.”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s awfully brave of you. I’m a lady after all.”
“I’m very brave,” he assured her. “The bravest.”
Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions as she gazed into his green eyes; torn between the decision to keep her distance and the undeniable pull she felt towards him. Nothing else should matter. She heard her parents voices in her mind again. She came to succeed like all the Hofferson's before herself and success came from a lack of distractions. So, why did being here with Hiccup mean so much to her? She had know him for less than twenty-four hours.
Astrid's thoughts raced as she tried to make sense of her feelings. She had always been so focused on her goals, never allowing herself to be side-tracked by emotions. She had been in relationships before, not that they had lasted when they realised Astrid was never going to put them before her goals. But there was something about Hiccup that made her want to throw caution to the wind. His vulnerability, his honesty, and the way he looked at her with those earnest eyes – it all made her feel things she had never felt before.
She took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. The logical part of her mind screamed at her to walk away, to protect herself from getting hurt. But another part, a part she had buried deep inside, longed for connection, for intimacy. She realized that she didn't want to keep her distance anymore. She wanted to be close to him. Listen to him. Be listened to. As she stood there, her resolve wavered. She could feel the warmth of his hand in hers, see the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. She looked into his eyes and saw the same vulnerability she felt within herself. She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat.
“I’m sure you're brave, but manliness?” Astrid smirked, stepping closer. She leaned in, close enough to see the sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheekbones and tiny scar on his chin. “You’ve got no idea what I can handle Haddock,” Astrid snatched her hand back and she punched him in the shoulder in one quick movement. “That’s for nearly causing an accident.”
“Ouch, what the-“
She interrupted him with a teasing kiss. “That’s for everything else.” She whispered against his lips.
Hiccup’s whole face flushed red, his eyes wide with surprise. Astrid felt a jolt of electricity shoot through her, the unexpected warmth of his lips sending her heart racing. She hadn’t anticipated her own reaction, the way her pulse quickened, and her cheeks heated up. The taste of his lips lingered, a mix of mint and something uniquely him, making her head spin.
For a moment, they stood there, both caught off guard by the intensity of the moment. The cool breeze rustled the leaves around them, but all Astrid could focus on was the rapid beating of her heart and the way Hiccup’s breath hitched slightly. She wondered if he was always going to be so adorably easy to fluster, and if she would always feel this rush of excitement whenever she was close to him.
“Now, in the car,” she ordered, trying to regain her composure, her voice a little breathless.
“Yes, Milady,” Hiccup replied.