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Chapter Text

It erupts

Jonas never thought the arrival of the apocalypse would happen in the middle of a race.

To be honest, he didn’t really think about it to begin with, dismissing it as the figment of feverish imagination of overwrought minds. He didn’t have time to bother with negligible stuff like the quixotic ending of the world, not when he was thinking in wats and kilometers.

He actually never had an opinion on the whole thing, whether it will ever happen and, if so, when. It could take place anytime, anywhere for all he cared, as long as it didn’t averted him from getting on his bike.

Just as it usually is with the greatest changes in one’s life, it occurred out of the blue. No forewarning whatsoever. It was an ordinary day, if it could be labeled so, given the fact that it was a Tour de France stage. And a hellish one at that.

Jonas was in yellow.

He always liked this color, as he found it blithe and guileless. He associated it with all the warmth of childhood memories: the beaming sun at the upper corner of his scratchy drawing, the excavator on his favorite shirt, the kartofler on the side of his plate at the Christmas dinner, his very first bike. Sometimes, he wished to go back to that boundlessly peaceful bubble called childhood.

Tadej was behind him in the GC. By mere five seconds.

Tadej was in front of him. Pedaling steadily, trying to exhaust him, shake him off, take his yellow jersey. Jonas wasn’t about to let him.

It was an HC climb. They were about halfway up, six more kilometers to go before the descent. Then it wouldn’t be long till they reached the finish town.

Jonas was calculating. Tadej would definitely have the advantage the moment the road lead downwards. If he wanted to secure his place, he needed to break away from him before that. He studied the Slovene’s movements, attempting to determine his condition.

He was sweating profusely, struggling to uphold the intense speed and don’t leave any opening for Jonas to attack. He should be well beyond his lactate threshold.

Jonas wasn’t much better off. Not even forty minutes into the race, he had an unfortunate crash. It didn’t quite injure him severely, however, his radio broke due to the landing’s angle. That’s why, right now, in the rain, which began as a soft summber shower, but was rapidly intensifying, his communication was completely cut off from his team. Far from ideal if he wanted to launch an attack in this position.

Still, while sitting on Tadej’s wheel, he managed to save a bit of energy. At the moment, his heart rate should be lower than the other’s. That could potentially compensate for his lack of explosiveness.

Just ahead of them, was a sharp right turn. He deemed it to be the perfect spot for the attack. He tried to continue pedaling calmly, not giving away his plan. To perfect his timing, he began counting back.

Ten

He stared holes into Tadej’s back.

Nine

He focused on his breathing and attempted to level it.

Eight

Tadej’s strained breathing echoed in his ears.

Seven

Their exhales synchronized.

Six

Moments before the turn.

Five

His eyes hurt from the lack of blinking.

Four

He felt a new source of power rush through his veins.

Three

He was smiling.

Two

He was so grateful to be here.

One

His body was already moving, his bike picking up speed in a blink.

It was then.

At the end of the turn.

The creature.

Rationally, Jonas knew an undead could never provide to be easy on the eye, but, as they say, seeing is believing. Well, now he knew.

The creature was moving towards them on the left side of the road. Unlike popular belief, it was actually more on the gray side than the green, the latter more like a touch of faint, expanding rot. Maybe it wasn’t buried that long ago.

They were cycling at an intense speed despite the elevation gain, nevertheless, every single detail was burnt into Jonas’ mind. The bulging eyes, the blood dripping from its mouth, the ears still covered in mud, the few strands of wet hair sticking to its injured head, the tattered garments dangling from its unsightly body.

It was laughing horrifically while dragging the body of child in its left arm. The corpse was so badly damaged, even their own mother wouldn’t be able to recognize them. Broken bones were sticking out from below the torn flesh. Behind the inhumanly depraved monster, a thick stain of blood indicated its path.

The moment he caught glimpse of it, Jonas was already violently breaking. He escaped toppling over from the headlong force of it by a hair’s breadth, while he desperately shouted Tadej’s name. It wasn’t needed though, as the Slovene reacted at the same moment, stopping his bike half a meter from him.

Jonas hurriedly unclipped his shoes, already jumping away from the bike falling to its side, ready to start sprinting to wherever, when he noticed he was the only one moving.

Tadej stared unblinkingly at the creature in front of him. Completely frozen and unable to move a single inch from the bombshell. Jonas didn’t know what was more petrifying. The living death setting foot on earth or Tadej who stayed put when he was faced it. As if it was welcomed.

Jonas acted without thinking. Amidst the gurgling laughter of the vicious creature he all but leapt to Tadej, violently shaking his shoulders, yelling incoherently, partly in English, partly in Danish. It seemed to work though, as the other snapped out of the trance at last, gripping Jonas’ arm with both hands while moving his mouth without a sound.

Jonas started running, as fast as he possibly could, dragging behind himself the still dumbstruck Tadej. He sprinted towards the right, jumping over the road barrier fence separating the concrete from the lushness of the forest. Before disappearing in the embrace of the towering trees, he glimpsed back one last time.

The zombie was still standing there, on the road, next to their discarded bikes, laughing almost mechanically, while still gripping the gruesome corpse. By the sound of it, the motorcycles were also just about to reach the turn. The zombie didn’t pay them any heed.

It was still starting at them.

Chapter Text

Words for a new world

Jonas had no idea for how long they have been running.

At one point, when the adrenaline could no longer suppress the immense pain in his legs, he simply stopped. Jonas collapsed, clutching his legs fiercely burning from the inside. He couldn’t breathe properly, and felt like his lungs were violently shaking, similarly to the ground and the sky. Reality seemed so distant.

He laid in the thin duff, letting the raindrops fall on his body, which was twisted in an ungracious position and rapidly cooling. He struggled to register his surroundings, only managing to move his neck through tremendous effort.

Trees all around. Mostly pine with a few cedar occasionally mixing in. The rain was drumming on the leaves, giving the area a slightly eerie feeling. Not like he needed to be spooked even more.

Tadej was sitting next to him, face covered by his hands, soundlessly crying. His jersey was torn, a few cuts here and there, most definitely from colliding with branches throughout their earlier sprint. Jonas wondered if he looked the same.

They rested there for some time, letting the rain soak them to its liking. Jonas couldn’t find it in him to open his mouth. He didn’t know what could be said in such a situation. Maybe he should have educated himself a bit more about reacting accordingly to encountering zombies. Unfortunately, he was way too preoccupied with cycling to get hold of basic survival skills. Or even be emotionally stable. He envied Tadej for being able to cry. It must have felt heavenly.

He got up without speaking a word. All his muscles were screaming at him to stop, to allow himself to blissfully fall back to the ground. Still, somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice urged him to finally find shelter. All of a sudden, he realized he was practically freezing.

He took a few shaky steps forward, surveying the forest stretching out towards infinity. Unfortunately, a light haze seemed to form in front of his eyes, dimming what little he was able to take in. He let out a frustrated grunt, as he tried to near the rocks of the mountain.

He considered calling out to Tadej, but was so weak and exhausted and all of his feelings were isolated from him, like they stayed in the antediluvian times, while he searched for them the around the biblical apocalypse. While living through a much less poetic one.

His mind was blank, no thought surfacing in the blackened sea of cognition. He just wanted to lay down in a safe place and sleep till the end of time. Although, maybe they were past that.

Here, the trees were already relatively sparse, the vegetation secondary to the increasingly rocky terrain. He was positive he could find a cave in his vicinity.

Sure enough, he spotted a small creek in the stone of the mountain. It didn’t even reache his torso, so he needed to scrunch down to enter. While trying to ignore the intense pain shooting through his back, he crawled inside slowly. It was dry. It was safe. He couldn’t make another move.

He fell asleep instantly.

*

Next morning, he woke up to a hand urgently shaking his shoulders. He was cold all over, soreness enveloping his very being. He might have been an athlete, however, there were clearly sports he couldn’t be said to excel at. Running was the prime example of that.

“What?” he barked out, resolutely not opening his eyes, as his mind was still groggy and only preoccupied with the torment brought about by merely existing. Such were the times when he believed Schopenhaur’s words to be the definition of truth.

“Jonas, please wake up!” it was Tadej’s voice, sounding from above him in all its despair.

Jonas eyes snapped wide open. He was hit with the memories of yesterday, of how the human world turned itself into something akin to hell. Blood, pain, death.

He was inside the cave, curling into himself for the perseverance of the lacking warmth. He looked at Tadej contritely, recalling how he left him behind. Being fatigued was no excuse when the other was in such a vulnerable state. They should really stick together in this incomprehensible situation.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked while slowly pulling himself up, tiny stones falling from his hair in the process.

The moment the question left his mouth, he was already regretting it. Obviously there was something wrong. It was everything.

“I heard something from the forest below. I don’t know what it was, but-“ he didn’t need to finish the sentence for Jonas to understand what he meant.

“We must conceal ourselves somehow.” he said firmly, already looking around. He felt the panic rush through his brain, but upon gazing at Tadej’s broken expression, he felt himself suppress it. He needed to be strong. For both of them.

“We should find a big enough rock or something to drag before the opening,” he gestured towards the outside still smelling fresh from the earlier rain.

Tadej looked at him with his blue eyes watering up. His mouth was bleeding from nipping too hard on it. His hair was a mess, dirt clinging to every single strand. His polka jersey had more holes on it than actual fabric, revealing his snow white skin blemished with cuts left and right. Jonas couldn’t recognize in him the man he was racing up on this very mountain barely half a day ago.

They searched around anxiously, always sticking together, not daring to go further than twenty meters from the cave. They flinched at the smallest of noises, constantly stealing glances at the forest below, when they thought the other wouldn’t notice. Jonas’ left arm was shaking uncontrollably.

He was about to have a nervous breakdown the moment Tadej grabbed his shoulder. He wasn’t prepared to death just yet. Fortunately, Tadej was all smiles and no fright, just wordlessly pointing in the direction of a boulder green from moss and which was just about the size of the cave’s entrance.

*

After what felt like an eternity, they were sitting inside their little nest, panting heavily from all the pushing and pulling. The poor condition of their muscles, combined with the lack of nutrition and mental shock, the task completely drained their energy. They were submerged in darkness, only thin threads of sunlight managing to slip through the narrow opening between the boulder and the wall of the cave.

“I know what you’re thinking,” spoke up Tadej from the other side.

“What am I thinking?” Jonas didn’t lift his head, letting it lay on his bony knees.

“That I was hallucinating the noise,” indeed, Jonas was thinking that. “And, worst of all, I can’t even contradict it confidently.”

Jonas didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to. If he was a bit more familiar with Tadej beyond how he pedaled and positioned himself on the bike, how often he hydrated, how he spoke into the team radio as if it was his audial realm which gracelessly adored its monarch, maybe he’d have a clue. Late regret.

“Sometimes I think none of it was real in the first place,” Tadej continued. “It’s just not possible, right?”

Although, he couldn’t see him in the dark, Jonas had a good idea what kind of expression the other was making.

“Frankly, I don’t know,” he felt guilty about not outright denying it vehemently. That’s what he’d want to hear too.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. This time, Jonas was the one to break it.

“I still have a gel on me. Do you want half of it?”

Tadej grunted in response, forcing himself to move closer to Jonas. They ate their portions hungrily, basically already starving after not getting any intake up until now, despite the huge energy consumption of both the race and their run up the mountain.

Tadej seemed to have something on his mind, as even after finishing his part, he still sat there, not turning back to his place. Then, ever so slowly, he started moving, but towards Jonas. He was clearly hesitant while scooting closer, as if to see how the Dane would react, when he would be driven away. Upon arriving right next to Jonas, he mimicked him in leaning back against the cave. Their arms were just barely brushing.

“It’s warmer this way.”

*

Jonas knew he wasn’t dealing with the problem healthily.

After isolating themselves in the darkness, an all-consuming apathy descended on him. He stared unblinkingly into the void, crimson images flashing through his mind. He sat there completely motionless, happy with the way his stomach was churning from the ever-present hunger. His breathing danced across the skin of his legs and he thought it wouldn’t be so bad if it stopped for good.

Time has lost its grip on him long ago. He was floating somewhere far from all gospels, where the nihility was the sole omnipotence. Sleeping and being awake did not make a difference. They were merely separate words for the same state. He might as well rot here. He envisioned a grub eating its way through his brain. It was purple for some reason.

Although he was conscious that Tadej was at an arm’s length, it still felt like an endless distance stretched between them. He heard him cry occasionally or mutter into the shadows. Jonas was annoyed at him for it. Why couldn’t he also just die in silence?

*

Tadej was the first to hear it. He instantly stiffened and instinctively reached for Jonas, who pretended to not see it in the darkness, dismissing it as an abrupt need for comfort. He was far too powerless to provide that.

Then he heard it too. At first, it was the a soft buzzing sound, but the nearer it drew to them, the more unbearable it became. Jonas could soon identify the noise, which he was all too familiar with after the never-ending strategic meetings, where they analyzed various races from the past season. It was the deafening roar of the blades cutting through the air, leaving behind a scar in the form of a din. There was a helicopter overhead.

He looked at Tadej, particularly burning with rapture. Jonas couldn’t clearly make out what his expression was like, nevertheless, he grasped his shoulder, pulling him close to shout in his ear.

“We’re going to be saved!”

He was just about to leap into action, drag the boulder away from the opening and run into the freedom currently flying above the cave, when he was violently jerked back. He looked up at Tadej in utter confusion.

“Don’t!” he screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks, hands grasping his in desperation.

“Have you gone crazy? They are clearly here to save us!” Jonas wrenched his arm in an attempt to escape the other’s hold. He was bubbling with irritation. How could someone, who has been suffering from starvation and despair willingly choose to remain in place when the chance of help is within reach?

“How are you so certain? They could be our enemies for all we know!” Jonas had no doubt whatsoever, that Tadej must have developed some kind of persecutory delusion. That’s the only reasonable explanation for his behavior.

He didn’t intend talking to a madman, so he kept on wrestling free from Tadej’s grasp. At this point, he couldn’t even care whether the Slovene just stayed here. He would make his escape from this mind-numbing crack with or without him.

“Jonas, stop,” what an iron grip, Tadej had. “They could be hunting for zombies and mistake you for one! Or maybe someone among them has been bitten! What are you going to do about that in the enclosed space of a helicopter? Do you wanna get yourself killed so badly?”

Jonas hadn’t realized Tadej was capable of screaming like that. Although he knew perfectly well how they all put on a facade in front of the camera, he never thought the Tadej hiding behind the flawless mask of aloof self-assurance would be this emotional. He didn’t know how to take this revelation yet.

“Either way, we’ll die! There’s no option whatsoever. I might as well do while trying for once. I don’t want to lay back and simply wait for it to come anymore. I’ve had enough!”

His voice was raspy, unrecognizable even to himself. Just like the tone. He wasn’t someone to talk this way.

He finally managed to break free and was already putting his shoulder to the wheel, trying to push aside the boulder, the last obstacle before him and his saviors.

He half-expected Tadej to jump at him and force him away from the rock (deep down he might have even wanted that), however, the Slovene didn’t do anything of the kind.

The crack was rapidly expanding, revealing a fraction of the outside. The grayish grass diminishing with every meter at this altitude, the trees shivering in the wind and the sky littered with puffs of dark clouds and the only artificial object in this seamless corner of uncontaminated nature, the helicopter circling overhead.

It was a military helicopter.

Tadej’s earlier words echoed in his ears. What if they are truly here to hunt for zombies? With his present look, it was highly likely he didn’t seem too different from one. With the state the world must be in at the moment, he couldn’t hope the army would prioritize sending out manpower to search for two missing cyclists. He couldn’t even be assured that their disappearance was noticed by anyone. Maybe there was no longer a person who would remember them. Maybe all of them had been-

He burst out crying. For the first time ever since that consequential incident. When all went downhill.

He was crying as if he just discovered how to. Warm tears burnt his cold face, he clutched his head in his hands, tearing at his hair. His whole body was shaking from the force of it. There was no way out of this hell.

He felt the soft touch of a carefully stroking hand on his back. He leaned into it.

Chapter Text

Lifeline

Sometimes a good cry can do wonders. Jonas was a prime example of that.

It was throughly painful as his body reached a point of dehydration where it could no longer produce tears. He was gasping for air, lungs burning with dryness and still, it felt like the purest form of liberation.

Soon though, his head began spinning from the gnawing hunger and thirst, threatening with the promise of fainting. He needed to stop. Stop this. And do something. To keep himself alive. And Tadej.

“We need to find water,” he said, while slowly turning around. He was already missing the feeling of Tadej’s hand on the line of his spine. “Food too.”

Thanks to the sunlight slipping through the slightly larger opening, he could finally make out the Slovene’s face. It was tainted with dirt, cuts, fatigue and hope. He watched him nod slowly, eyes not leaving his.

“We’re in this together, right?” he asked, offering a cautious smile.

“We are.”

*

Finding anything edible proved to be easier said than done. At this altitude, not many fruit-bearing plants grew. They carefully circled around the area, vigilantly surveying their surroundings. Despite their physical state, they were circumspect about their mission, never forgetting the two forces out for them. Humans and zombies.

Fortunately, they soon found a rivulet trickling through the forest, not far away from their cave. Upon catching glimpse of it, they bounded towards it, throwing themselves in the water.

They cared little about how hygienic it was to drink straight out of the stream, not even bothering to use their hands, merely swilling to their hearts’ content. For them, this equaled life making a grandiose return

Jonas felt so revivified like the Lazarus of the present-day. Though, that might not be the most flattering analogy, given the situation.

After all the guzzling, he decided to wash his face as well. The ice cold water did wonders to his intense headache. Had it been at least twenty degrees warmer or if he had some kind of towel at hand, he would have considered washing his hair as well.

Upon looking up, he caught sight of Tadej trying to splash water onto a specific spot on his back. There was a deep cut, in line with his fifth or sixth rib. From the lack of nursing and disinfection, it has already festered rather badly. Just looking at it soothed Jonas’ hunger which reached unbearable levels before. He could only imagine how much it must have been hurting.

“You need some help there?” he asked softly.

Tadej looked at him both in surprise and embarrassment, before feebly nodding.

It was bizarre. Witnessing the pain of your destined rival so overtly and being the one to help them, was definitely not something Jonas could have ever expected. Then again, after an apocalyptic break out, this might even seem as nothing out of the ordinary.

Inspecting the wound closer up had Jonas clutching his stomach, fighting back the nausea. It was but a cruel joke amidst all this starvation.

Around the gash, the skin was bulging out from countless swellings. Pus was leaking from some, forming opaque rivers dampening the red dots of his jersey. The dry blood was slowly crumbling away, making way for a new wave of fresh liquid to seep out. And Jonas might have been numbed to the ghastly sufferings of the human body with all those years of cycling through rain, mud and heat, however, he was still no doctor. Not to mention, now each injury, every single drop of blood only reminded him of one thing.

He slowly tore an already loose bit of his jersey, dripping the yellow rag in the water before bringing it to the wound.

“I’ll try to be careful, okay?.”

“It’s alright, I’m tolerant to-” his words abruptly turned into a muffled scream. Jonas instinctively jerked his hand back, which barely hovered over the shredded skin.

“I’m sorry! I really didn’t mean to!” Jonas made a move to grab onto the other’s shoulder - he had to admit, not only for Tadej’s comfort - before remembering he might hurt him even more by doing so.

That’s why he was so dumbfounded, when Tadej’s hand grappled his - which was awkwardly hanging in the air - gripping it tightly, as if to counter the eruption of pain.

“Please, keep going.”

So Jonas did. He assiduously cleaned the area around the cut, hands shaking throughout the process from the mere horror of the sight. He felt so guilty hearing the soft sniffing coming from the man before him. Tadej was supposed to be unshakable, pre-eminent and invincible. Not broken. Not wrecked. And definitely not holding onto Jonas’ hand for dear life.

“I’m finished,” he quickly threw away the rag dripping from body fluids. “I did all I possibly could, which might not be much. But don’t worry! It doesn’t look all that horrible, so I’m sure it’ll heal in the blink of an eye.”

Tadej only grunted in response after forcing out a strained thank you. Jonas had no way of knowing whether he believed his blatant lies.

“Maybe you should go back and rest for a bit, while I continue searching for food,” Jonas was fully aware of the severity of his suggestion. It seemed to be an unwritten rule between them to never leave each other’s side, not even for half a second. And it was perfectly reasonable, when zombie were lurking around in the wild, and comforting when they were cut away from civilization. Still, Tadej was hurting and Jonas didn’t have the heart to force him to move along anymore. Enforcing his sufferings was completely unnecessary.

“No,” Tadej has yet to let go off his hand and now he spun around, facing Jonas with eyes full of unshead tears and determination. “I’m not leaving you alone.”

Jonas helplessly sighed, relief washing through him, paired with the shame of feeling that way.

“Just promise me to not overexert yourself.”

He gave in suspiciously quickly. He knew that. He was never brave enough. He knew that as well.

He wondered how could someone nod along so cheerfully in the middle of the all-consuming doom.

*

Jonas finally came to the conclusion that persistence really did pay out in the end, and wasn’t just a way to console the losers. (He’d heard it all too many times from Grischa after the worst stages of his life to show worrying signs of anger issues whenever he came across them. Though, right now he would have given about anything to listen to his coach’s voice say those ugly words just once more.)

Shortly after leaving behind the rivulet they found some blueberry bushes, fully covered with the small fruits. Jonas thought he might burst out crying merely from catching sight of food after the ever-present hunger had plagued all his days. (Were they even days? He had no way of telling how much time had passed.). But listening to the overjoyed - but still hushed - shouts of Tadej made it hard to do, as they were the comical mixture of Slovenian and English, rounded off with a bit of French. Jonas had an inkling feeling he did so deliberately, just to make him laugh. Well, he had succeeded whether intentionally or not.

So here they were now, sprawled on the cold stone of their cave, stomach filled with berries, a few more collected in Tadej’s helmet - the only one they had left, since Jonas had his magically disappear at one point during their escape.

“Maybe we should devise a plan now?” Tadej perked up from his place upon hearing Jonas speak. “You know, to stay alive or whatever.”

Jonas watched Tadej inch towards him, just like before. He was starting to realize how much the man needed the proximity of another person. He sat up as well and patted the ground next to him. A moment later the man was already right there, leaning on his right shoulder so slightly, Jonas had to wonder if he was just imagining the touch of hair against his skin.

“Definitely,” he hummed lightly, before turning serious. Jonas could just about make out the lines of his face with what little light reached them through the thin crack after dusk has fallen. “But before that, I need you to promise me one thing.”

“And what would that be?” as Tadej turned to face him, their arms brushed together.

“Can’t I tell you after you’ve already promised it?”

“What? No!” Jonas had no idea what has suddenly gotten into the Slovene. Maybe there was something funny in those berries. “That isn’t how this works!”

“I know!” he sounded so frustrated as he grabbed Jonas’ hands for the nth time that day. “But I’m afraid you wouldn’t agree to it otherwise.”

“I swear, I won’t unless it’s something completely unreasonable,” like how you’re acting now - Jonas couldn’t help but add mentally.

Tadej seemed to hesitate for a second, nervously drumming his fingers on the line of Jonas’ knuckles, before resigning to his fate.

“This might sound terribly dumb, but after all this, I just have to get you to-” he inhaled sharply. “To promise me not die. Or at least not willingly and definitely not without me.”

Jonas waited a moment for Tadej’s pleading to truly sink in. He searched his face clothed in the thick darkness of the night, looking for the answers he couldn’t quite word yet.

“Please, Jonas!”

The desperation in Tadej’s voice truly shocked Jonas to the core. He never thought someone would need him, at least not like this. Not this earnestly and especially not this eagerly. Sure, his teammates all counted on him, however, this was entirely different. It was being another person’s lifeline.

“I promise. I promise not to die.”

He didn’t need the light to envision the relieved smile taking hold of Tadej’s features. The hands gripping his also relaxed, allowing blood to rush through the whitened area.

“Now, say it back,” he hesitantly ran a thumb over Tadej’s palm.

“I promise too. That I won’t die.”

Chapter Text

The bricks you lay your head on

Maybe it should have come as a greater surprise to Jonas to learn he and Tadej worked so well with each other. After all, they couldn’t exactly be called friends, not with how little they had talked - snippets of words here and there, behind the starting line, on the podium, conversations without any meaning to them, the kind which is already long forgotten ten minutes later. No, Jonas definitely didn’t know Tadej.

But, in a way, he did know him. It wasn’t about favorite colors, fond memories and childhood fantasies, despite that, it still felt like a deeper, way less superficial understanding. One which couldn’t be acquired easily, as it required endless hours of studying the other’s movements, watching out for every minuscule sign that could expose the buildt up fatigue. It required being isolated from everything and everybody else, both in races, when they climb seemingly endless mountains, just the two of them and no one even nearing, both in mind, knowing without sounding conceited, they could be placed on a much higher shelf than every other cyclist. They were so similar, yet so different at the same time.

Maybe that’s why it felt as if Jonas has just found a long-lost complement in Tadej. (Although he wasn’t about to admit that. The arrival of this new, gruesome age couldn’t completely erase the past, and his past has largely revolved around struggling to overtake Tadej for some years now. That and close to nothing else.)

In the end, they agreed to quite some things they deemed necessary for survival.

Firstly, they needed to somehow make the cave more comfortable, more homely. This involved getting rid of the pebbles littering the ground and the moss on the walls. It also wouldn’t hurt to look for whatever that could be used as a replacement for furniture. Always laying around the ground was far from being enjoyable, especially so for Tadej with the huge wound on his back.

Speaking of which, after a much too lengthy quarrel, Jonas managed to convince the Slovene to take it easy and let him do the majority of the work so maybe his injury wouldn’t further worsen. Though, Jonas was fairly sure he only acceded to put an end to the arguing and not because he was actually considering keeping his word.

They also planned to properly explore their vicinity, checking for potential dangers additionally to wood for them to light a fire along with sources of food and water. They also hoped to find Jonas’ lost helmet. They had no idea in what way it would serve, nevertheless having more supplies never hurt.

The Dane sensed that Tadej wanted to discuss more long-term options, but he cut him off before the man could get to it. He didn’t feel ready to contemplate the future now.

Rationally, he understood that at one point - the sooner the better - they needed to talk through it all. Nevertheless, he liked to imagine this could all just be a misunderstanding or a too vivid nightmare from which he would wake up, look around and be blinded by the amenity of his home. He would be clean and well-rested, would have a fridge filled with his favorites, bikes in his garage and the stunning Danish landscape on the other side of his window. No, he wasn’t prepared to let go off this illusion for the time being. (He couldn’t help but wonder at Tadej and his emotional resilience, while feeling like he was beaten. Again.)

*

Leaving the cave so unguardedly meant one thing: Tadej’s hand in his. Jonas almost - just almost - got used to it by now. The calluses - the proof of those endless hours on the bike, going through hell and back - brushing together and the comfort they brought around in a newfound way that he simply couldn’t place. In a typical Jonas-fashion, he decided to brush it off. After all, there were much greater concerns in such an age, and focusing on those would be undoubtedly the right choice. At least that’s how he reassured himself, while a line from a long-forgotten read echoed in his mind.

Cowardice is the most terrible of vices.

But he wasn’t, now was he? He didn’t take the easy way out and set his mind on living. What more could be expected of him? It wasn’t that he was frightened by his own undissected feelings, he just didn’t have the time to properly analyze them. It wasn’t the same thing.

Nevertheless, the words wouldn’t slip away from his thoughts, continuing their relentless echo. Annoyed with himself and eager to prove his subconscious wrong, Jonas didn’t hesitate for long to stray away farther from the cavethan they probably should have, if the tightening grip on his hand is anything to go by.

They’ve already stopped at the river and the blueberry bushes, having a breakfast Jonas could best describe as prehistoric-like. Combined with the nature of their home, he felt he fulfilled Rousseau’s most cherished ideals and lived the philosopher’s utopia. However, up close, the supposed heaven looked a suspiciously lot like perdition.

After their primeval meal, they agreed to scout a bit more. At first Jonas truly had no desire to overdo it, already very much on the edge, waiting for a zombie to lunge at him any moment or the helicopter to suddenly appear out of thin air and start shooting them. But then the overthinking happened and going further wasn’t an option anymore, but a necessity. He purposefully suppressed the guilt of dragging Tadej along (and desire to have him stop their advance).

They went down the way they arrived all those days ago. The forest trees seemed to be growing more serriedly here, with less and less sunlight reaching the ground. The cave had already disappeared behind their backs and the feeling of being defenseless grew with each hesitant step they took.

Jonas was just about to finally admit to the little voice running rampant in the back of his mind that he was, in fact, a very big coward, then escape into the security of their little haven, when Tadej suddenly let out a quiet gasp. Following his line of sight Jonas caught sight of his own helmet lying next to the trunk of a pine tree.

They took of running, overwhelmed with happiness from the find. Crouching down beside it, their glee turned into a boundless euphoria. Next to the helmet lied a crunchy bar and a raspberry gel. Jonas was about to burst out crying or laughing or both at the same time. His heart swelled with gratitude towards the world which seemed to be fully bent on keeping Jonas Vingegaard and Tadej Pogačar alive.

He didn’t say anything aloud, not when they were still out in the open, just gazed into Tadej’s eyes.

It’s going to be alright.
They will be alright.

The Slovene’s regard was nothing but a mirror to his own.

*

“Jonas?”

They were lying on the ground, sleepless from the fragments of horrific memories flashing through their minds whenever they closed their eyes.

“Yes?”

Somehow, he knew Tadej wanted say something important, yet hesitated to do so and silence descended on the cave.

“Do you have a favorite color?” this wasn’t what he intended to ask, Jonas was sure of it from the faintly present disappointment in his tone.

“I do. Can you guess?”

“Don’t tell me it’s yellow,” Tadej was already stretching out his hand and Jonas, as if he was expecting it, immediately grabbed it.

“Let me tell you, yellow is an excellent color,” his voice was dripping with mock-indignation.

“If you say so,” Tadej was drawing tiny, bumpy triangles on the back of his hand. It felt so good, joking and being like this with him. Jonas must have been going crazy, finding comfort in his greatest rival.

“Then what is yours?”

“Wouldn’t it be only be fair if you tried guessing mine? After all, I did guess yours,” Tadej’s mischievous tone earned him a chuckle from Jonas.

“As you wish, milord,” it was easy to humor him. Then, unexplainably even to himself, Jonas turned serious, concentrating on gathering his loose knowledge of the Slovene in search of anything pointing to the answer. He wanted to prove something.

The color of UAE was white, so it might be it. Or black because of the bike tires? He also remembered seeing him in a gray hoodie. Or maybe that wasn’t him? He was suddenly hit with the regret of never attempting to get to know Tadej better before this. And the reason for feeling so wasn’t this meaningless game they had going on. He always took the other to be a sociable, kind person, but had never considered striking up a conversation with him outside of a race. It just didn’t feel like they would click. Or maybe he was simply afraid he would come across as a dull, boring man, someone unfit for the likes of Tadej.

He really was a coward.

At some point, Tadej has stopped the triangular movements of his finger, entirely focused on what Jonas’ answer would be. Meanwhile, the Dane was just about to give up on actually reaching a conclusion after unsuccessfully wrecking his brain for minutes now. He merely turned his head towards the other, watching as the moonlight glinted in his eyes, in his big, expectant eyes and couldn’t help but mutter-

“Blue.”

Tadej stiffened for a spell, before a huge grin overtook his features, excitedly squeezing at Jonas’ hand.

“How did you know? I never thought you’d guess! Someone must have told you before, right?”

“You just keep believing that.”

“For a second I really thought I managed to beat you at something. You know, it’s very cruel, to give me false hope like that.”

Jonas just laughed, scooting a bit closer to Tadej. As if he wasn’t the one always prevailing…

Still, he would bite his tongue and never say that out loud.

*

Jonas woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Tadej’s muffled sobbing. He was curled into himself, taking up as little space as possible. He had his back to Jonas, so it was impossible to tell whether he was awake or still in the claws of vile sleep.

Jonas wondered if he was allowed to touch him. He was in such a vulnerable state and he worried, that instead of finding comfort in his presence, Tadej would feel embarrassed about being so exposed. He didn’t want to stamp on the bud of their friendship by sheer carelessness.

He laid motionless for a few moments, torn between reaching out for him and staying put. In the end, he couldn’t help himself.

Careful not to scare him, Jonas slowly put a hand on his shaking shoulder. He was half-expecting the other to burst out screaming the second he felt his touch, but luckily nothing of the kind took place.

Tadej just stilled, a hiccup getting caught in his throat, waiting for a sign of Jonas to figure out what was going on. Unfortunately, the Dane himself had no clue about his intentions. He considered saying something, maybe telling (not-so) little white lies about how everything would turn for the better in the twinkling of an eye or asking why he was crying. For some reason, both felt insensitive at the moment. So he settled on wordlessly caressing his shoulder.

Soon enough, Tadej relaxed into the touch. The heavy breathing from before slowing down at first, then turning into light snoring.

Jonas watched his broken silhouette in the silvery moonlight. He had the illusion of feeling the drying tears’ water vapor hit the skin of his face, forming a salty mask. He let out a heavy sigh, before withdrawing his hand. It had no place on his sleeping rival.

*

They didn’t talk about it.

When Jonas opened his eyes, Tadej was already up. He was sitting in front of the obstructed entrance of the cave, close to the slight opening, letting the weak sunlight draw yellow on his face. Jonas watched.

“Good morning.”

At his voice, Tadej turned back, smiling as if nothing had happened that night, as if everything was alright. It was made clear that he wasn’t about to bring up the matter. And Jonas wasn’t encouraged to do so either.

“Morning! Ready for breakfast? For the sake of variety, we should surprise ourselves with something entirely unheard. You know, like blueberries? I bet you wouldn’t have thought we’d be eating those!”

Jonas felt his stomach churn. Not because the idea of having blueberries again sickened him - which it did - but because Tadej was so far away. He was not even a meter away from him, but emotionally the distance between them seemed like a bottomless void.

During his weak moments, Jonas could profess that it was not the case. Tadej maid it easy enough to do so with his facade of stainless joy. But no facade was flawless and sometimes the truth shined through. Like how that tiny ray of sunlight slipped through the gap between the boulder and the cave. Their closeness was nothing but make-believe.

“I’m so looking forward to such a congenial feast. I hope I won’t ever be forced to eat anything but blueberries.”

Tadej chuckled, a flash of gratitude flashing through his eyes. All was in place once more. At least for him. Jonas still couldn’t shake of the memory of the other crying at arm’s length and him not being able to embrace his shaking body. He hadn’t even realized he wanted to.

Chapter Text

Moments that stay

“So let’s go through what we have here!” Tadej was kneeling on the ground, all their possessions amassed before him. “We have two helmets, a crunchy bar, a gel, the paper of an eaten gel, your broken radio, the clothes we have on and the fantastic people inside them.”

Tadej turned his head back, winking clumsily at Jonas, who had been so preoccupied with staring intently at the freshly cleaned injury on the Slovene’s back that he only heard at most half of the words.

“Yeah.”

“Do you even know what I was saying?” Tadej didn’t sound mad, no, rather he seemed to be a bit complacent for some reason.

“You listed our articles?” Jonas was - rather obviously - avoiding eye contact, doing his best to count every single tree outside he had vision on. It actually proved more easy now, after they had decided not to move the boulder completely back and leave a slightly bigger gap. They convinced themselves it was solely for the vitamin D.

“Jonas, I’m proud of you,” Tadej’s voice was dripping from smugness, making Jonas flinch. One pine, two pine, three… “You really managed to flawlessly demonstrate you were paying attention and not just blatantly ogling at my back.”

“What? I wasn’t! I- I was just-” Jonas knew blushing was his Achilles’ heel. His body was unable to handle shame moderately. Whenever something marginally embarrassing happened, he would be covered in violent red from head to toe. He didn’t dare imagine how he looked right now.

And Tadej, this menace of a person, had the audacity to laugh at his misery, arms wrapped around his middle, head thrown back and Jonas would bet high money that even tears were about to surge forward from chortling so hard.

“I was just joking,” Tadej finally took mercy on Jonas after letting humiliation fully absorb the Dane. “Wanted to see how you’d react.”

“Well, I hope you’re satisfied and won’t ever pull something like this again,” Jonas grumbled from behind his hands where he buried his face somewhere along.

Spying through the gap between his fingers, he saw as Tadej opened his mouth, lips parting around a syllable, but no sound came out. Not when another, unknown sound cut through the forest.

It was a voice. A high-pitched voice of a man shouting something in a language completely foreign to Jonas. Or maybe it was just French only with a very heavy accent. That wasn’t the point at the moment.

From what he could tell, the source of the yelling was nearing them, each one of his shouts sounding closer and closer. It was as if the person was moving in a straight line, exactly towards them.

Jonas felt all power leave his body, not being able to move a single inch. His eyes never left those of Tadej, watching the other’s face first tense up, noting the elegant curve of his jawline, then flare up in panic, all his features somehow becoming more pronounced and, in the end, crumble in defeat, gaze fogged with hopelessness. He wondered if Tadej ever inspected him similarly.

The yelling man continued his advance, not wavering for a second and Jonas knew they needed to act.

It was already far too late to bother with the boulder and get it to further block the entrance. They were trapped in their own half-intact haven, as they couldn’t start running now. They were too malnourished to pick up proper speed and would just be handing over themselves to the unfamiliar individual with how much noise they would be making. No, their options were restricted to the cave.

While avoiding to make any noise, Jonas slowly inched towards the boulder, his back hitting the cold stone. It was darker there, on the other side of it which was the furthest from the gap. Physics or whatever. He also guessed it was less likely for someone not keen on throughly surveying the area to simply glance inside without turning to face each corner. Or he hoped so.

With his heart hammering inside his chest and vision clouded by the rush of adrenaline, he wordlessly signaled for Tadej to mimic his movements. Luckily, he did so, expression still so uncharacteristically vacant that it made Jonas want to scream. He watched him lean back against the stone right next to him, sitting impossibly close to keep himself in the dark as much as possible.

Then they waited.

This was the most nerve-wracking part, when they couldn’t do anything but leave their fate up to chance. Jonas was gripping Tadej’s hand - which magically found his once more - so tightly it must have hurt a tremendous amount, nevertheless, the Slovene just let him do it.

The man was at most meters away from the cave and they had to face the truth. He was about to check their hiding spot as well.

Impulsively, Jonas reached out for Tadej, yanking him between his legs, then pulling him so close that not even the air could pass through them.

He felt Tadej stiffen in his arms, then hold onto him with just as much force. His face laid on Jonas’ shoulder, nose brushing against his skin, each shaky exhale softly tickling his skin.

The person stopped shouting upon reaching the cave. Although the rock formed an unshakable barrier between them, Jonas could practically feel the stranger’s presence on the other side.

As the man moved to peer into their home, Jonas closed his eyes, mentally murmuring garbled prayers to whatever deity was overlooking them at this moment.

Tadej squeezed the torn back of his jersey, nails digging into the yellow fabric and Jonas swore he could hear the barely audible sound of it ripping further. Still, he couldn’t be certain if it wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him. Wouldn’t be a first in this madness-inducing world.

The man lingered. It could have been half a second, a couple of minutes or even an eternity, Jonas has been robbed of his sense of time since the day of the zombie sighting. He was already fully convinced it was over for them, fingers shaking on the bruised back of Tadej, waiting for the inevitable.

Then came the unmistakable sound of footsteps, getting further and further away.

They were saved.

These words didn’t echo in his mind till much later, when he could recover enough from the shock that he regained his ability to think. Then that was the sole thing present in his brain. It reverberated through his very being as a mantra. A sweet, unforced mantra.

He just laid there, in a tiny corner of the world, in a minuscule cave with another man in his arms.

Who he was holding tight.
Who held him tight.

*

Jonas was the first to stir.

His thighs felt sore and for the first time since that day, he was hot. He forced opened his eyes which didn’t seem to be intent on cooperating, sticking together by the glue of dreams.

(Dreams. They had become an unfamiliar concept in recent days with all the nightmares usurping their place. Today, however, they had returned, in all their wonder.)

The sight that awaited him though, wasn’t what he expected.

Tadej.

He was sleeping soundly, still plastered all over him. His face was buried into Jonas’ neck, hands clutching the ragged remains of the yellow jersey, legs resting on one of his legs - explaining the phantom of pain circulating through it - and those notoriously messy strands of hair were continuously brushing against basically the entirety of Jonas’ face.

Safe to say, the Dane was utterly astounded.

He obviously remembered what had happened, that they were all-so close to losing it all, and then, in midst of it, he reached out to get Tadej further into the darkness, afraid he’d be found otherwise, but which meant they were forced close, unimaginably close. And, apparently, they stayed like that. In something akin to a lover’s embrace.

Jonas flushed deep red. How could he be so shameless as to compel a person to sit in his lap, no questions asked? The situation may have been dire, but that was no excuse to what could be labeled as sexual assault. He even used the other as a living thermal blanket. Had it been before the start of the apocalypse, he’d be the one to hand himself over to the police.

He did nothing but blink, as if hoping that at one point, he’d open his eyes to a different sight. It unsurprisingly didn’t succeed in achieving that, but was at least helpful in getting Jonas’ body to understand how being in a state similar to zone 7 might be a bit over the top move. He feared Tadej would have his ribs shattered from the way Jonas’ heart was pounding against his chest. His list of torts would be enhanced with the addition of battery.

After his pulse steadied enough that his vision wasn’t a sea of blurred stars, he gazed at Tadej.

He helplessly wondered how ridiculous the whole situation has become. They were - according to some - destined rivals, who had no business at all in each other’s arms, in their shared home, eating the same things, washing up simultaneously, conversing about stuff which had nothing to do with cycling. There wasn’t a moment they spent alone. They even went to urinate together for crying out loud! Tadej has been forced to become the inclusion to his personal space. And in turn, Jonas has been glued to the man’s side. As their hands were, whenever the guileful feeling of unease crept up on one of them.

That wasn’t what rivals were supposed to do.

And he knew - though he wished he didn’t - that times had irreversibly changed, but after spending years with someone etched into your mind as the greatest opponent (translating to enemy in plain English), it was hard to overwrite the image so quickly.

But, as he tentatively stroked the back of the sleeping Tadej, he thought maybe it wasn’t actually that difficult.

A soft sigh escaped the Slovene’s lips, which - to Jonas - sounded a lot like satisfied approval. He snuggled further into the crook of Jonas’ neck, as if chasing the human warmth. Like a small animal. Maybe a chick, albeit not quite of the right color. Jonas was proud to contribute to the discovery of a bird covered in polka dots. He sacrificed himself by wearing yellow, so the chick wouldn’t have to and consequently preserve its originality. He was quite a nice guy.

“Jonas?” Tadej murmured groggily. Jonas’ blush returned at full force once again. Getting caught having his hands all over the other’s back while the man was sleeping, completely unaware of what was going on, only further worsened how he pictured himself.

“You up?” he tried to play it cool, pretending his voice wasn’t a bit too high and his hands weren’t awkwardly dangling in the air.

“Yeah,” inwardly, Jonas was practically begging Tadej to finally move. “I didn’t have such a nice sleep since… Since you know when.”

Jonas hummed in agreement. He swallowed down the ‘me too’ bouncing on the tip of his tongue. He hated how he had trouble admitting that out loud.

“Jonas,” Tadej spoke up again.

“Tadej,” his hands found their way back to the other man’s back, continuing to draw soft circles on the remains of a jersey.

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

“Jonas?”

“Tadej?”

“I’m glad it’s you I’m stuck with.”

A beat of silence.

“Me too.”

Jonas hated how easy that was to say.