Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Girls can't love girls!" That's what Hitomi told herself, forbidden romance, secret relationships, guilty love. Thats what it was, all of it! She couldn't allow her two friends to be ensnared by such a trap, no matter how wonderful it may be! They'd be laughing stock, ridiculed, she must protect them!

But right now, she couldn't even save herself from that fate.

The new transfer student, raven black hair, cool and composed, a harsh glare at everyone who goes her way. She shouldn't... but... she can't stop looking at her! Its forbidden, yet she can't stop!

"Hey, Hitomi, you're staring at the new chick again." Sayaka teases, poking her cheek with a laugh as she rests her head on her palm, Madoka sitting on the desk next to her.

"Sayaka's right, are you okay, I can take you to the nurses office if you're dizzy or something, you're cheeks are boiling hot..." Madoka mumbles, concerned eyes scanning over Hitomi's form.

"Ah, I apologize! I'm perfectly fine!" Hitomi stammers out. She's not usually one to stumble over her words, but that transfer student just changes her, she can't stop thinking about that one phrase she always told herself. Girls can't love girls.

"Nah Madoka, she's obviously got a crush, just let it play out, I wanna see how long she's in denial for." Sayaka quips, a laugh coming from her shortly afterwards as she stares at Madoka's confused face, looking like she just heard a bomb drop.

"I don't! Girls cant love girls! You know this Sayaka!" Hitomi exclaims, shoving her hand on the desk and standing up defiantly.

"Hitomi Shizuki, is anything wrong? I heard you shouting and came to check in on you."

God damn the girl is stunning. Hitomi can't help but stare, her hair silky and long, going down her back like a cascading black stream, beautiful and majestic. Her skin looks soft and pale, like one of her many porcelain dolls she had as a child, no blemishes, no impurities, just pure perfection. And her eyes, oh her eyes, a deep midnight purple she could get lost in forever, she stares at them like they contain the answers to the universe.

"Hitomi Shizuki, is everything alright?" Homura repeats, snapping Hitomi out her fantasy.

"Ah, yes I am, sorry." Hitomi bows quickly, humiliation rising within her. How could she slip up like that, her feelings are forbidden, girls can't love girls!

"Very well then, I'll be on my way." Hitomi replies bluntly, turning around and flipping her hair, god she was so attractive.

"No! Wait..." Hitomi yells, hands outstretched and locking with hers. "I... I need to tell you something..." Hitomi mumbles quietly, bashfully looking down, a stark contrast to her steadfast self assured demeanour.

"Yes?" Homura nods, allowing her to go on.

"I... I used to think girls can't love girls... it was forbidden, a dark secret, a humiliation! But now... I realise something... Girls can love girls! Because these feelings for you, they're more than I've ever felt before, I love you, and nothing can ever change that, society, norms, my love will break through them for you, so tell me, do you feel the same!" HItomi declares, her hearts beating at a thousand miles an hour as she stares deeply into the girls amethyst eyes.

"No. I won't, I'm not interested in you Hitomi Shizuki, we can be friends if you wish but I am not willing to be lovers." And with that the mysterious girl walks away.

Eh? Just, no? Nothing else. After she spilled her heart out to her, she got a no?!

Hitomi is just shattered, falling down to the floor, on her knees as she looks up to where Homura was just a moment ago.

"Sheesh, Hitomi i knew you were down bad but damn, just plain rejection, that's gotta sting, huh?" Sayaka smirks, letting out a low whistle as she leans back, head resting on her hands.

"Um... Hitomi... are you okay?" Madoka mumbles, hesitantly reaching out a hand to Hitomi's back to console her as she just sits there in silence.