Archive of Our Own ^beta

The golden light of the sun’s rays glimmered between the leaves of the tree they were using for shade. These moments with Grian had always meant so much to Scar, the quiet ones. When they weren’t at each other's throats or when they were busy between all of the different odd tasks they’d each pick up. He loved every bit of time he got to spend with the avian, but sometimes the breaks in tension just warmed his heart the most. Grian felt like home to Scar. From the moment he had met him, he knew that he would follow Grian like the moon did the Earth, an unbroken cycle since the dawn of time. 

Sitting shoulder to shoulder with Grian, the others wings gently stretched out behind him brought a giddy feeling to his chest. He knew it was wrong of him to have fallen so deeply in love with one of his best friends. Scar’s heart tugged painfully as he snuck a glance at the other. Black and white feathers brushed across Grian’s cheek that he desperately wanted to reach out and touch. Would they be soft? How would Grian react? Would he let him do something so… intimate? Scar had to consciously stop himself from reaching up to his face. 

A familiar laugh broke him from his train of thoughts. “What are you staring at?” a grin slowly grew on the other's face, his deep blue and black wings ruffled, the feathers shifting. Grian’s wings opened and closed slightly, trailing over the slivers of skin that his shirt didn’t quite cover. Scar shivered. Again, Grian was his friend, nothing more, nothing less. No matter how badly he wished to change that.

“Your beautiful face, of course!” Scar gestured wildly, “How could I ever look away!”

A rosy hue blossomed on Grian’s face. Spring was fully in bloom, with flowers filling the meadow they sat in, the air brisk but comfortable. ‘Surely it isn’t that warm, especially in the shade?’ Scar hummed, ‘How could he already be sunburned?’

Distracted by his thoughts, he didn’t notice the avian place a blue feather into the palm of his hand. Scar blinked. “What’s this for?” His heart was beating out of his chest. This felt serious, as if something shifted between the two.

Grian’s next words quickly became a memory he would repeatedly analyze night after restless night, trying to find some deeper meaning, “You mean a lot to me Scar,” Grian sighed, “More than you know.” His wings curled in slightly, almost as if he was pulling Scar closer into his side. Warmth built up in his chest, making his own cheeks burn with a bright blush. 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Scar grinned, trying to avoid Grian’s eyes, a feeble attempt to prevent him from seeing the blatant adoration in his eyes, “I’m going to make it into a necklace! Then even when we’re apart, it’s like a promise that you’ll always be right there with me, no matter the distance.” He lightly brushed over the feather with his thumb. It was softer than he had first imagined, the dainty feather meaningful despite its size.

‘Woah Scar, reign it in,’ He nearly scoffed at himself, he was edging more towards the “I’m so in love with you, please be my partner until the end of time” side of his emotions than the more rational thought process of “I’m so grateful I have a friend like you” that he was supposed to be having right now. He nervously ran his hand through his hair, glad that he hadn’t tied it back.

Grian’s eyes focused on the way Scar stared at the feather, visibly relaxing. “Really?” An unrecognizable emotion flashed in the avian’s eyes, something resting solidly between smug and fond, “Though… we haven’t spent much time apart anytime recently.” The brunet sighed softly, it was true, the two had been almost joint at the hip as of late. Grian’s presence had become a new constant in his life, one that he had grasped tightly onto and wasn’t even close to ready to let go of. Scar let out a chuckle “Any moment away from you is two moments too many. You’re the light of my life, remember?”

Scar had always been one who complimented others easily, sharing affection like dandelion florets that spread far and wide when winds picked up. It was both easier and harder with Grian, unsurprisingly. He had so many things he loved about the other, from his dark wings to his bright smiles, even his pranks that irritated others to no end. The avian had taken it in stride, meeting Scar in his own way, barely missing a beat the first time the brunet had smooth talked him. Occasionally, if Scar was lucky, he’d get the greeting of “Hey handsome,” that would tug at his heartstrings each time he heard Grian’s voice directed at him. Scar was in over his head. Direly. 

“It’s a promise then,” Grian grinned, pulling the scarred hand without the feather into his own. The man ran his thumb over the skin lightly, tracing the lighter patches gently while he hummed softly. The two were used to easy affection, though this seemed like something… more. Scar was used to plenty of bumps between shoulders or being side by side, but the instance felt more important. Of greater significance than the easy touches the others shared sometimes. He was holding Grian’s hand–

Until their hands begrudgingly slid apart. “Unfortunately, I promised Tim that I’d help him with something or other today,” Grian groaned. He stood up, brushing off the blades of grass on his pants. He shooks his wings, before grinning brightly at Scar, “But I’ll see you later?”

The brunet nodded, at a loss for words. He would do anything to keep that smile on Grian's face. Even if it meant accepting that his feelings would never be returned. Being Grian’s friend was worth more than his own feelings that were twisted in his chest. He would rather force himself to squash his own feelings than to lose the one who brought compassion and mischief to his life in the best of ways.  

☀☀☀

To put it lightly, the past month had been mildly confusing. Scar fiddled with the blue feather that laid on his chest.  Ever since he had started wearing it, Grian had been different. Not necessarily in a bad way–Scar doesn’t think he could ever truly see him in a negative light–but just different. There was an underlying tone to their interactions that he just couldn’t wrap his head around and then there was the touchiness. 

It felt like if there was any excuse to bump shoulders or grab his hand, Grian would take it. Scar was not complaining, not at all. But it did make it much harder to ignore the feelings that bubbled in his chest each time that it happened. 

Scar knew he needed an outside perspective. He knew if he kept thinking about it he’d spin it into something more meaningful than it was. And he knew just the person to ask–Lizzie!

Grian had always been close with Jimmy and Joel, the trio being the “Bad Boys”, a name their friends had always joked about. Scar would’ve asked Jimmy, the two had grown closer over time after they had spent a significant amount of time messing around with Lizzie, but a small part of him worried if the other would mention it to Grian. 

Pink caught his eye and he quickly tapped her on the shoulder. “Lizzie! Do you mind helping me on this fine day!” He tried to play off his nerves, she would tell him that he was overthinking it and he could move on with his life. 

“Scar!” she giggled, “I always have time! What’s bothering you?” 

Where did he even start? The whole being in love with one of his best friends thing? Or the whole shift of their dynamic that he didn’t quite understand? Maybe how worried he was of ruining the companionship the two had built.

“Have you noticed Grian acting… different around me lately?” Scar scratched the back of his neck lightly, “Ever since he gave me this feather… well I just feel like I’m missing something.” 

“Missing something?” 

Scar broke eye contact with her, instead focusing down onto his necklace, fidgeting slightly. “He’s... More affectionate I guess?”

“I’m still not sure I understand.” 

He sighed. There wasn’t any way around it, “Lizzie– I’m in love with him. And I know he doesn’t see me the same way but I just don’t want to get my hopes up.” 

Laughter was not the response he expected. Lizzie was almost doubled over, gasping for air. Strands of her hair falling into her face, almost as vibrant as the joy that his statement had clearly sparked. She paused briefly, “Wait… you’re not joking?” 

He shook his head slightly. 

“Scar… do you not understand why he gave you that feather? What it means?” Lizzie blinked, “You realize that he has never done that for anyone else, right?” 

 Scar paused. There was the wisp of a thought, something that wasn’t quite adding up. As if someone was slowly finding out where to put a particular puzzle piece. 

Lizzie huffed lightly, placing her hand on his arm, “Oh, Scar. Do you know what type of hybrid he is?” 

“...Avian?” 

She twirled a strand of pink hair around her finger, “Now that one was my fault, I meant the type of bird, but maybe it’s just easier if I explain it to you.” She sat down and patted the spot next to her. Almost a direct mirror of the day Grian had originally given him the feather. Not as beautiful of a day he mused, clouds hazily drifting across the blue sky and a slight nip to the air. 

“Scar, how much do you know about magpies? Or I suppose bird habits in general?” 

He thought to himself before answering truthfully, “Not so much.” 

“You’re really one of the only non-avians that he allows to touch his wings, firstly. The bones in wings are fragile! And they tend to be sensitive… Then he decided to give you a feather, which tends to be done with mates, Scar.”

 All of a sudden his world felt a lot more off kilter. As if someone had taken everything and turned it a handful of inches to the right.  Blues a tinge too green, the light was a little too bright, everything just off. It felt like the missing piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Scar blinked. Then blinked again. A lot of moments that felt unclear before made more sense to him. 

“He thought we were dating?” 

Lizzie lightly put her hand on his shoulder, “You need to talk to him. Spend some time considering it, but I think in the long run you both will be grateful.” 

He fidgeted with his fingers lightly with a soft hum. He should, but if he was reading this wrong–

Lizzie pulled a piece of paper out and began scribbling on it. “Look. Here’s a list of magpie behaviors, especially when it comes to their… partners. Just think about talking to him, at least. For your own sake.” 

He gingerly took the paper, glancing down at Lizzie’s handwriting. All the swirls and loops that made words that could change his whole world view look so dainty and pretty. Scar brushed his thumb over the scribbles and let out a soft hum. “Thanks Lizzie.”

She smiled softly at him and placed her hand on his shoulder, “Anytime you need it Scar.” 

☀☀☀

1. Magpies are highly intelligent and are known to taunt larger animals or perceived predators. This can include tricking others with mind games, holding grudges, or thieving. 

Scar knew Grian was one of the smartest people he knew, it was evident in the way he plotted and the havoc he wreaked on their friend group sometimes. All in good fun, it led to laughter more often than any actual conflict, but it was undeniable that he loved to play mind games on Scar and the others. It was one of the things that he loved most about him. Grian knew exactly when to sneak in a joke to alleviate tension or frustration that was growing. How to pull smiles and giggles from others, even begrudgingly. It was his way of showing he cared, in some roundabout way. 

Grian always got a glint in his eye as soon as he started plotting some new prank. He was so passionate about it, devising the best ways to mess with others. Scar loved it. Others would cautiously avoid him when they recognized the look in his eyes, not wanting to be part of the collateral damage. But he wanted to watch, or sometimes get involved. To be part of the process that Grian loved so dearly.  

2. Magpies are known to go out of their way to supply their mates with food, intending to take care of them during nesting season. 

Grian wasn’t cooking meals for Scar every day, Scar could do that himself thank you very much. However, he could think of all the times that the avian would offer him a portion of fruit or other parts of whatever he had on hand to Scar. 

“You forget to eat too often,” Grian would scoff, the feather on his cheeks fluffing up. Scar had always been mesmerized by the black and white splotches. The wings were stunning. That was something all of them could admit about Grian, the deep blues and blacks with little white feathers intermixed were easy to wax poetic. Stars in the sky, fireflies on a summer night, all flowery ways that still wouldn’t accurately reflect his beauty. 

Scar had more than once watched the other peel oranges and pass out portions to him. He had no idea where Grian would pull the food out of, always having something on hand to give to Scar. “Extra” he’d claim, that he had finished eating and had too much left over. 

Extra…

There had never been anything extra, had there? Just a means to provide the brunet with food. An avian behavior that he had just written off as friends looking out for one another. He never mentioned how it was always Scar who got the extra portion, or how at some point Grian would learn to make a proper plate for himself. Or maybe that if a mandarin orange was too much for the avian to eat alone should be a point of concern. 

Scar was willfully blind. Ignorance was bliss. It was still explained away by their friendship. They had always been closer to one another than some of their other friends, which wasn’t a crime. 

3. Magpies take lifelong partners. They’re a monogamous species, unless one of the pair dies. They tend to guard their partner vigorously, to prevent others from attempting to mate with their partner. 

A fraction of the line caught his eye. ‘Guard their partner vigorously’ he mused to himself. ‘Like jealousy?’

Scar reminisced lightly, trying to think if there was ever a point that Grian had seemed… territorial. There were little memories that he had written off as irritability even prior to him receiving the feather to make his necklace. Snarky words and claiming he needed Scar’s help immediately, mid conversation. 

Until he thought about the past month. Suddenly one situation came to the forefront of his mind. The brunet had been chatting with Cub mindlessly. It hadn’t struck him as anything out of the ordinary. They had always been extremely close. Just like him and Grian were seen as a pair, he and Cub had always been well known as a duo. Differently intertwined, the feelings less complicated but still one of his most meaningful friendships nonetheless. While he only felt platonically towards Cub, the love he felt for the other was no less real. 

Scar knew that Grian knew him and Cub were friends. He had assumed that he understood that it was purely friendship. No ulterior motives. But recently, any time the avian saw the two together he came up with some excuse or other to either send Cub away or to steal Scar away. Unabashedly. 

…Vigorously, if he was going off the words that he had just read. And it was almost as if the avian had a second sense for if he was going to hang out with anyone really. Always quick to swoop in whenever Scar was about to do something with someone one on one. Mumbled words, dark glares. Something that was blatantly absent in group settings. Excuses as to why Scar couldn’t join their peers. 

Could that count as territorial? Or jealousy? Scar wasn’t exactly Grian’s territory but if the other did see him as a mate, especially as a newer development, he could see how the increase in time that he spent with Cub could be seen as a threat. A chuckle was pulled from him at that. Grian had nothing to worry about, if that was the case. He loved Cub dearly, sure, but it was not in the dating manner. Or the mating manner, if he were to use Lizzie’s terminology. 

Besides, Grian was… Grian. It would be unnatural for Scar to not love him. The two were interwoven in what felt like every lifetime. Even if Scar were to die at that very moment, he knew that he would find Grian again in his next lifetime. He wasn’t sure he believed in soulmates in the way that each person had someone who was predestined to be their one love. But at the same time, the feelings he had for Grian were unconscious and all consuming. He cannot imagine a version of himself that didn’t love the avian one way or another. 

Wisps of what felt like memories were just out of reach. Two individuals standing in the middle of a ring of cacti. Shared pain and bonded souls. A cloak littered with sunflowers. An avian in a leather jacket and dark glasses tinged blue by glasses that a brunet in a blue and orange striped shirt. Dreams of what could have been, or potentially what once was. 

Scar groaned as his head started to pound. The whole situation gave him a headache. He had been plagued by not quite dreams since the day he had met the other. As frustrating as they could be, it only added to the allure of the avian. All majestic blue and black wings and the sense of a mysterious connection. Was it just him who felt it? 

He glanced down at the paper again. Swirly words that had seemed to laugh at him. Some part of him worried that he was just getting hopes up. That all the things that felt like they fit were just him reading too deeply into it. He hummed softly, ‘Lifelong partners…’

There was nothing more that Scar wanted than that. To be seen as a pair, to be a pair. He fiddled with the necklace gently. Fond feelings bloomed in his chest the more he realized that perhaps this was more than friendship. 

“I’m going to make it into a necklace! Then even when we’re apart, it’s like a promise that you’ll always be right there with me, no matter the distance.”

Scar could suddenly see how Grian saw them as… romantic partners. He had declared it himself. The brunet had just been misguided by his own deep fears of rejection by the one he loved so dearly. It was overwhelming how much he loved him sometimes. 

Lifelong. Scar didn’t tend to think of the future in that way. Of what would be. Though he had long term goals and ambitions, sure, he was more the type to live in the moment. To feel deeply and be present. It was his best and his worst trait sometimes. Scar loved so fully. He loved his friends, with dramatic flair. Arms wide, big grins. Loudly. He loved Grian in the same ways but also in another way, adjacently. That love was like the ocean, endless and undiscovered. Wild, untamable waves and peaceful, quiet tides. A crucial part of the Earth, just as it is an undeniably vital part of himself. 

It was just a mere fact of his life. Scar always had and always will love whole-heartedly. His affections were a way for him to achieve fulfilment. Friends, partners, all the same. He wasn’t himself without loving his friends. It was a key to what made Scar himself. 

Grian was the ‘light of his life’ for a reason. He made dull moments even brighter between little ribs and teases that he snuck into their conversations. Scar had been whole before Grian, he had always known that his friends truly were more than enough to bring him happiness. However, Grian was like the sunrise on a brand new day. The other was almost gilded in Scar’s eyes, gold and riches couldn’t begin to compare. Meeting him opened his eyes in another way, awoke a whole new world that he didn’t seem to have access to before. Brighter colors, warmer weather. A more vibrant perspective from one man. 

Scar had to tell him. Even if he lost the other forever, he couldn’t handle the feelings that weighed heavily on his shoulders. He knew now that he had heard about magpie behaviors, it would haunt him until he decided to ask Grian himself. 

☀☀☀

Anxious feelings crawled up Scar’s throat. Nausea swirled in his stomach, he felt too hot, and all he could think about was how this was one of the worst ideas he had had in a significantly long time. 

All he could think about were all the things that would go wrong. Grian hating him, laughing at him, asking how Scar could ever think that he would feel the same. Scar knew he was spiraling, that Grian would never act so cruelly. That he would let him down lightly. But part of him still feared for the worst. 

Naturally, that was exactly when Grian landed in front of him, wings glimmering in the sunlight. Scar was so mesmerized he almost forgot that he had asked the avian to talk. 

“Hey, Scar!” The movement of a tilt of the other's head brought Scar back to reality. 

He had to cut the small talk. The anxious feelings kept worsening, and he wanted to make sure he was coherent as he spoke, concise enough to convey what he meant and to not cause problems and–

“Grian, are we partners? Was you giving me this feather a more than a friends thing or am I reading into this too much… Is it assumptive of me to–” Scar blurted out, without a thought. He reeled as soon as he processed what had just come out from his mouth. 

Grian blinked. Once. Twice. Before he began to laugh. 

“Grian, I know that you probably don’t feel the same way about me but I’m… well there’s no other way to put this other than I am in love with you. Ever since we met it’s just been this overwhelming feeling that–” Once the words started he couldn’t stop himself. Scar fidgeted with his necklace, wondering if he should offer to give it back or get rid of it because Grian wouldn’t want the others to think that they were dating. 

And that’s when Grian leaned in and kissed him. 

Scar stood rigid for a second, before he relaxed into the kiss. It wasn’t exactly like the cliches that he had read about, where fireworks went off or everything was suddenly right. It did wonders to ease his anxieties. 

Scar placed his hand lightly on Grian’s chest as he pulled away. “Wait, wait, wait.” 

“Scar. Are you telling me this whole time, you thought we were just friends! I gave you a feather! You said that we’d always be together! You wear that necklace every day!” Feathers ruffled as Grian teased. 

“Well, when you say it like that…” 

“Scar, will you be my boyfriend? Despite the fact you have already been it for the past month,” even with the laughter, that question made all sorts of butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

How he had dreamed and wished to hear those words for so long. Maybe in a situation where he had been less of an oblivious, lovesick fool. “I’m never going to live this down… am I?” 

“Never.” A bright smile shone on Grian’s face. 

Scar pulled Grian into another kiss. Saccharine thoughts filling his head. This wasn’t a dream. He was kissing Grian, he was the other’s partner. Wasn’t he the luckiest man in the world? 

As they separated, Scar felt the flush growing on his cheeks. “You’re beautiful.” 

Grian was in his usual red sweater. It felt like the man wore it more often than not. Scar grabbed it lightly, not ready for any space that could grow between them. A flirty quip ready, “Not nearly as beautiful as you are. I can’t even compare to one feather on those wings of yours,” 

The avian’s wings stretched out, feathers shifting as he received the compliment. Scar’s mind immediately came up with more ways to flatter the other, ways to spout poetry of flirts and quips just to get more reactions out of the other. He wanted to see bright blushes, wings fluttering, and whatever soft smiles he could manage to pull out of Grian. Simple words and sweet metaphors. Anything to get a response, another peck. He pressed his lips into Grian’s cheek. “I had somehow convinced myself that you would never see me as more than a friend.”

“Scar…” 

“The signs were blinding, flashing red alarms and I still missed them!” 

The two giggled together for a moment before a comfortable silence grew. Hazy sunlight warmed the two. The avian seemed to glow under the soft rays that stretched around them. Scar openly stared at the other, admiring his newly found partner. As they met eyes, they shared another smile. All Scar could feel was a deeply rooted sense of fondness. He never wanted this moment to end. As if a breath too heavy would wake him up from this dream. 

Grian rested his hand on Scar’s cheek, thumb rubbing small circles. “I love your freckles.” Scar leaned into the other’s palm. If he died here, he would have lived a fulfilled life, Scar decided. There was little else he needed, after knowing that his love was returned. He could kick himself for not realizing it earlier. 

He pressed his lips gently onto the other’s. Scar had so many kisses and dates to make up for. More than a month of missed opportunities. If others had thought they were inseparable before, Scar was sure that they would be deemed insufferable from now on. As they broke apart, both with wide smiles on their faces, he knew that he would live the rest of his life happily, if it meant that Grian would be by his side.