Chapter Text

Chapter I

The Eye That Opens In Grief

Home

She didn’t want this day at all.

The alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but Shikako could sense her mother working downstairs. She hadn’t yet opened her eyes, but her mind was already racing.

The dream hadn’t been a nightmare, but it had been heavy, and still weighted on her like a pile of stones, even when she couldn’t recall anything specific.

It was still dark outside. Had to have been, with how early her alarm usually ran. Still, there would be no way she could fall back asleep.

Might as well.

She sat up in the bed and opened her eyes.

The shadows of the room swirled.

The human mind was good at facial recognition. Too good, sometimes. Even when she could, with trained precision, sense exactly how empty the house was… Shikamaru still wasn’t home - it would be just her and mom. 

And yet, knowing with an absolute certainty that there was no one nearby, she could almost make out a familiar face in the darkest shadows. As if someone was watching her.

When she’d started the academy, it used to unsettle her. She would use her own chakra to light the room up, to banish the half-formed visions from the sleep-deprived brain.

Now, it was almost… comforting, in a weird way.

The Nara had put so much of their chakra and themselves into the shadows around them… who was it to say that there couldn’t be a lingering echo recorded in them.

Shadows are a reflection.

Shikako reached out with her own shadow.

Kasuga had advised her against forming a habit out of it, multiple times in fact, but Shikako knew it was what her father used to do all the time. It had to have been.

She closed her eyes, and drank in the feeling of being home, right through the shadows connecting her to the household.

It was still there. Her father must have spent countless hours idly connecting his shadow to the surrounding ones, even while in the safety of their home. Here, the shadows were so familiar, so full of him that it couldn’t help but calm her down.

Home.

When Shikako opened her eyes again, a part of her anxiety for the day had melted away. The shadows of the room were sharper, too. Maybe one day, letting her negative emotions seep into the surrounding shadows would leave a more negative imprint, but for now, the familial feeling of her relatives was much stronger, still.

One day at a time, she reminded herself, and headed down to help mom with breakfast. 

Shikamaru didn’t show up for breakfast.

Teamwork

Could have trained a little longer, a part of her whispered. She was way too early as it was. Would be a bad idea to go overboard, she reminded herself, always leave something for an emergency.

She stepped up to the little security checkpoint. No one was in line before her, especially today. Most academy students showed up minutes before the actual lessons. Not her.

A couple of people stood on duty at the entrance, and she knew one of them. Nara Saidai, a young Chunin, clearly recognized her in turn. “Shikako-chan,” he greeted her warmly.

She produced her ID card, and passed it to him to check. Didn’t say anything to either of the two uniformed men. Kept her expression as neutral as possible.

Saidai took only a quick glance, showed the ID to his partner for an even shorter look, and then returned it back to her.

A part of her wanted to say something. Shikako snatched the card back and hid it. It would have been dumb. Someone had to do the job. It wasn’t Saidai’s fault that he was a Nara Chunin when the recruitment drive had been announced. As far as she knew, he hadn’t volunteered.

It still stung.

“Hope you get a good team,” Saidai offered politely, not the least insulted by her dismissive attitude. It somehow made her feel worse.

Shikako swallowed the instinctive reaction to lash out. “Thanks,” she managed, trying to hide all of the swirling mess inside her head, and pushed into the Academy.

She was one of the first ones there.

Shikako settled into the back row, reserving a couple of sets with two kunai on her sides. She knew the team she wanted to get. However, it was all but certain that it wouldn’t work out like she wanted.

There was nothing to be done.

She took out a book and started reading.

Eventually, the other academy students started slowly filtering in, one by one. 

She ignored them. They all were happy to leave her alone.

All but one.

“Hey, Shikako!” Naruto shouted much louder than was necessary, and waved at her.

She lifted her eyes to catch the orange clad boy’s face, only because she knew ignoring him completely would be worse on her ears. Naruto was sporting a wide grin, like he always did these days. A brand new Konoha headband shone on his forehead.

Shikako signed and returned to her book.

Naruto spent a few seconds staring at her. She could feel his gaze drilling into her. Even trying to focus on the reading, she could imagine how well Naruto would mimic a wounded deer, just to get her to look at him. She really wasn’t in the mood for it.

Eventually, he gave up, and bounced off to sit by Sasuke.

Choji was first to claim the reserved spot. He sat on her left side, patted her shoulder twice and settled in to wait. Shikako grunted a health-hearted greeting. It was nice knowing Choji was here, and had her back.

Ino showed up only with the very last wave of students. She arrived together with Sakura, spent a little longer, idly chatting with her in between the rows, and then the two split up.

Ino climbed up to the last row and sat down flanking Shikako, on the opposite side from Choiji.

“Bad morning?” Ino asked, seeing right through Shikako’s moodiness.

“Yeah,” Shikako grunted and lifted her eyes up a smidge.

The silence shared with Ino and Choji was… comfortable.

Meanwhile, Sakura went to sit next to Naruto, who lit up extra bright from Sakura’s attention. Soon, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were engaged in a friendly conversation. Naruto said something silly that had Sakura barely holding in her laughter. Sasuke didn’t bother. His laugh was quiet and short, but the reserved smirk that followed proved it was very much genuine.

They will make a good team, Shikako knew. They had made a great team in the original story, when they started as a disjointed mess, but now? The three had grown closer little by little, especially in the last couple of years. Did I cause that too? Or did it happen despite the mess I created?

“Still holding a grudge?” Ino prodded carefully at Shikako, noticing her looking at the trio.

“No,” Shikako lied, “not really.”

Ino gave Shikako a look.

Shikako pretended she didn’t get it.

Theirs and Sakura’s friendship had shattered right after the Uchiha Massacre. Sakura didn’t seem to get how things had changed - because for a civilian girl, it was just another classified incident. Sakura hadn’t known anyone who died personally, and at eight years old, it clearly didn’t seem as real to her.

In the argument that arose from that first conversation after the Massacre, Shikako might have said some things she later regretted voicing out loud, but it didn't mean they weren't true. Still, it had reduced Sakura to tears and broken their friendship.

Ino managed to close the rift between her and Sakura after a few months.

However, despite Ino’s best efforts, Shikako never bothered to reach out on her part, even when Sakura tried to stay polite and friendly with her at Ino’s insistence. It was dumb, and more than a little childish, but Shikako didn't have time for social games. She really didn’t care what Sakura thought of her, after all.

Ino sighed and dropped the topic.

Shikako clenched her firsts under the table. “They’re splitting us up,” she whispered.

“Or they aren’t,” Ino protested just as quietly. “Ino-Shika-Cho is too good to pass by.”

“They are. No Ino-Shika-Cho this year,” Choiji said, dejected. “Mother visited the Hyuuga compound yesterday night. She told me. I’m probably going to be on a team with Hinata, unless the Hokage changes his mind. Aburame, Akimichi, Hyuuga and Uchiha.”

“No,” Ino breathed out a heavy breath. “Wait. All four noble clans in a team? Is that why?”

“Oh, it’s definitely that,” Shikako confirmed with a grunt.

“You knew too?” Ino hissed at Shikako. “Did Shikamaru tell you?”

“Shikamaru doesn’t tell me shit,” Shikako barked back, and instantly regretted the way she lashed out at her friend. “Sorry. He… I hardly see him these days. I just listen to what the Hokage says,” she added as a way of explanation. “He talks a lot about strengthening the unity between the noble clans in particular. It makes sense he’d form teams based on his politics.”

“Feh,” Ino grumbled, and turned to Choji. “Did your mom know if you’re getting an Aburame or Uchiha se-”

“Congratulations, graduates,” their academy teacher, Uchiha Nakano, said formally, interrupting Ino and anyone else still chattering. She looked a little bored, but still projected a proud facade. Even Shikako, if asked, would have had to begrudgingly admit that the woman was a much better instructor than Mizuki had ever been, ever since she replaced him a couple years ago. “Starting today, you are all Shinobi of Konoha…”

Shikako scanned everyone once more, only partially listening. Iruka-sensei, who was still officially their class’ primary teacher, stood a little to the side, looking relaxed. Like everything these days to do with the Uchiha, giving away the graduation speech to the assistant teacher had to have been a decision born of politics. 

Worst of all, it looked as if Nakano honestly believed what she was talking about. Unity. Shikako bit down on the bubbling rage and anxiety.

Why do they get to pretend-

She didn’t finish the thought. The speech was over, and the team assignments would follow. She needed to tune back in and actually listen. This was uncharted territory.

Iruka stepped forward. “Team one will be Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka and Kiba Inuzuka,” he began.

Naruto let out a dramatic, disappointed groan over losing Sakura. Iruka didn’t even bother saying anything to calm him down. Instead, he waited for a little bit until Naruto did so on his own.

Sakura glanced towards the end of the class, offering Ino a hesitant smile.

Ino’s team had to have been some sort of a cruel snub against the Yamanaka. Making a team with two kunoichi, one of whom was a civilian-born and adding the theoretically weakest student in the class… wasn’t a promising arrangement.

Shikako knew she shouldn’t have expected team placements to be based on rankings. The old informal rule of two best students getting put into the same team as the class’ dead-last would have landed her with Kiba and Sasuke. She wouldn’t have minded Kiba too much, but there was no way in hell anyone sane would think to put her on the same team with Sasuke.

Ino had gotten a short end of the stick, which meant Shikako might be given a weaker team as well. After all, only Choji had to have mattered in the eyes of the Hokage. She guessed Choji, Sasuke and Hinata getting an Aburame sensei was the most likely option, but with the way things were going off the rails… nothing was certain.

Shikako continued keeping track of team assignments, as more and more potential teammates were assigned to different teams, diminishing the choices of her potential teammates. Suzu Yobirin, maybe?

“Team six,” Iruka continued. “Choji Akimichi, Hinata Hyuuga, Shino Aburame.”

Choji’s definitely getting an Uchiha sensei, Shikako realized, and wondered who that would be. Someone well known, obviously. The team would have to show good progress to become as big as the gesture implied it to be.

“Team seven. Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Namikaze, Shikako Nara.” Naruto cheered at Sasuke, and then snapped his attention to Shikako and offered her an extra sweet, pleading smile.

“No,” Shikako breathed out, unable to conjure up any fake encouragement. This was bad.

The world in her mind tilted on its axis. It was all wrong. On a team with Sasuke! Who in their right mind…

She squeezed her fists, so strongly that it hurt. She tried to not glare a hole into Sasuke’s back. Who could be the sensei for this team seven? Uchiha Shisui, maybe, to rub salt on the wound?

Shikako kept spiraling until the very end of the team assignments.

"Alright.” Uchiha Nakano stepped up to conclude, moments after Iruka announced the final team. “Return here right after lunch and your Jounin instructors will come meet you in this classroom.”  She smiled a reserved, but self assured smile. “Good luck and make us proud.”

“Shikako-chan, Shikako-chan,” Naruto was there in Shikako’s face, all extra sweet, almost the second they were dismissed. “Me and Sasuke were planning to go to Ichiraku’s, do you wanna come with us? Since we’re a team now?”

“No,” Shikako said. Looked at Ino and Choji who were also a little uncertain. Thought about it. “Sorry, Naruto. I made plans with Ino and Choji,” she lied. “I’ll be here after lunch.”

“Alright! See you soon, Shikako-chan!” Naruto finished in his sweet voice and bounded off to drag sasuke away.

Ino and Choji looked at Shikako.

Shikako shook her head. “Go, have lunch with your teams,” she added as soon as Naruto was somewhat out of the earshot. “I know your mom must have packed extra to share, Choji,” she encouraged.

“Are you sure you are fine with eating alone?” Ino asked.

“It’s fine,” Shikako nodded. “I’ll manage.”

Then, after quickly wolfing down a quality ration bar, Shikako spent most of the rest of the long lunch period demolishing an academy training dummy with her bare hands.

It wasn’t very productive training, but it felt a little satisfying, especially when she imagined Itachi's face in place of the training dummy’s empty one.

Chapter Text

Chapter II

The Eye That Opens In Knowledge

Sensei

Shikako was, once again, one of the first to settle into the classroom. She had re-wrapped her arms, to hide the recent bruising of the knuckles, chose the furthest, darkest corner of the room and sat down to watch.

This time, she didn’t even go for the book she'd brought. Instead, she settled into her thinking pose, connecting all of her fingers together in her makeshift seal. She extended her chakra senses as much as she could, tracking people moving around. 

Then, she connected to the nearby shadows. A lot of Nara had gone through these classes. Some of them had connected to the shadows of the building, almost like she was doing right now, except… subconsciously. 

As far as she knew there was only one other Nara that constantly trained like this. Shikamaru.

She breathed in the tiniest, most insignificant echoes of her twin brother’s presence. It wasn’t really calming, but it was familiar. They both had used every breathing moment to train during every single class that didn’t demand their full attention, ever since the massacre. Which was all of the classes, all the time. 

Their training hadn’t been without the risks. Kasuga berated them multiple times, trying to convince them to stop… but Shikamaru was the clan head.

Sometimes, Shikako longed for that numbness that came with pushing too deep. Both she and Shikamaru had fallen into the black a handful of times. Each time it took her just a little bit longer to get out of that state, while for Shikamaru it had been the opposite.

She learned to be more careful when training, but the secret allure of muted emotions was always there.

Both of them were making great progress.

But then, two years ago, her brother took an early graduation exam without warning her and left her to train at it alone. Blocked all of her requests to take one too, since it required the clan head’s permission to take, in the first place.

If only he trusted me to have his back! The two of us could have been a team!

It was an old and painful wound.

And now, her choice was Sasuke and Naruto or... nothing.

Sure, she could wash out to Genin Corps and still get some fieldwork that way, but getting a promotion would be much, much harder after a mark like that against her. She couldn’t get help from the clan, at least not in the way that would get her outside the desk ninja position, either. Not with Shikamaru trying to keep her safe. She had made a mistake of telling him some of her thoughts on Itachi, and in turn, Shikamaru prevented her from taking the same path that he had chosen for himself.

No, getting on a regular Jounin-led team and raising through the ranks the normal way would have to be it. If Konoha still held the next Chunnin exam, Shikako had to be on it, which meant convincing whichever Uchiha Jonin got their team that she would work well enough with Sasuke.

It was a tall ask.

Could she survive a few months with Sasuke on her team? Maybe. She had no idea if she could handle the tutelage of Uchiha Shisui, though. The man had a reputation of making friends with just about anyone. Shikako shuddered.

The little lunch break was over, everyone else was back to the classroom by now. Sasuke and Naruto even came to the back to sit closer to her. At the urging of Naruto, of course.

The first Jounin sensei to come and collect their team, was a Jounin with a single open eye. Showed up a little early. Had messy, short hair. A bright smile. Uchiha Shisui. He wasn’t wearing anything to cover the missing eye, instead leaving it completely in the view. It was closed a little weirdly, with the eyelid seemingly glued in place, something about it completely unsettling to focus on. It clashed with his expression, but overall made him look silly rather than dangerous.

Shisui pretended to discreetly wave to Sasuke, which everyone saw through, meaning that it was done very much on purpose.

Sasuke groaned.

Naruto giggled.

Shikako sighed.

“Team Six, with me,” Shisui called out. Choji, Hinata and Shino stood up from their seats. “Good luck, Sasuke-chan,” he called out loud as the four of them turned to leave.

Sasuke slumped entirely on his desk, covering his face. Naruto laughed at him.

Shikako only raised an eyebrow. Who was their sensei, then? The list of people who could take on tutoring children of two Hokages… was fairly short, and Uchiha Shisui was at the very top of that short list.

Ino offered Choji a last second thumbs up.

And so it would go. A Jounin would come in, call out the team number and the team would shuffle out. About a third of the Jounin sensei were Uchiha.

Then, only two teams were left.

Team One, with Ino, Sakura and Kiba, and Team Seven with Shikako, Naruto and Sasuke.

Most of them were waiting silently. Naruto was fidgeting.

Kiba was muttering something under his breath. Shikako tried to focus on the words. It sounded like “Anyone but an Uchiha,” repeated over and over. Shikako winced in sympathy. She was thinking along the same lines herself, but it wasn’t likely for her team.

Iruka-sensei glanced at his watch, and then at Nakano.

They waited a little while longer.

A tall man entered the room. Olive skin, spiky hair. A few faint burn scars. Sarutobi Asuma.

Shikako tensed. Asuma was the current Sarutobi clan head. He was also notorious in his open dislike of the current Hokage. Giving him a genin team… meant something. Either an olive branch, or… an insult.

“Team One.” Asuma called.

It has to be an insult, Shikako guessed. Or a challenge. Or both.

On paper, Team One was a promising team. It had two heirs presumptive of major clans. Kiba would be the Inazuka clan head in the case his older sister died childless, and Ino had always been the Yamanaka heiress. Sakura’s absurdly high marks for a civilian-born had placed her firmly in third spot in overall class rankings, right under Sasuke.

Kiba had spent the last five years being as big of an annoyance to the academy teachers as he could be. Almost got thrown out of the academy for it. Still, he had somehow scraped a passing mark in the exam. Shikako knew Kiba trained with his family a lot more than in the classroom - that had to have made the difference.

Shikako knew Kiba still considered her a friend. They’d first made friends during early academy days, when she’d suggested the expanding friend group should recruit Kiba to match Naruto’s energy…

After the massacre, Inuzuka became the most uncooperative clan in the village. It cost them promotions, caused unneeded friction and it was a cause for a whole lot of Uchiha headaches. Shikako’s plans needed her to get promoted as early as possible. Keeping an active friendship going with Kiba would have been… counterproductive to that goal. 

She hoped Kiba understood.

Shikako had no idea what the future held for her or Team One. Even if she knew the old story spoke of lots of potential in this graduating class, she had no idea if this version of Team One would even pass Sarutobi’s test. 

“Good luck,” she whispered barely loud enough to be heard. For Ino’s and Kiba’s sake.

Ino nodded at her, Kiba threw her a short, toothy grin, but Sakura gave her only a short glance. Then, Team One was gone and they were left waiting alone.

After another half an hour Nakano dismissed Iruka, but stayed to wait with the three of them.

It can’t be Kakashi, Shikako thought. She couldn’t think of anyone else who’d be this late. Can it? Is he even alive?

Another hour passed.

Naruto was all but climbing walls, exchanging little jokes and barbs with Sasuke. Nakano didn’t tell him to stop. Shikako kinda hoped she would. No luck.

Then, finally, Nakano’s patience ran out.

“Wait here, I will go fetch him,” she said, voice straining to maintain professionalism. She turned and strolled towards the exit.

Something changed in the air. A shiver. The shadows twitched. Someone just used a jutsu? Shikako turned towards the door.

As soon as Nakano’s hand reached for the handle, the door swung open.

“You’re late,” Nakano said, voice betraying annoyance and quite a bit of anger.

“Maa, clearly someone made a mistake, I was told to wait in the Hokage tower, and was there exactly on time, patiently waiting,” none other than Kakashi Hatake, very much alive, explained in a bored voice. “When no one showed up for so long, I decided to investigate. Imagine my surprise learning that the meeting place was changed without informing me about it.”

Nakano spluttered.

“You were lucky I always go so much above and beyond what’s expected of me,” Kakashi added. “It’s alright, you can leave, don’t let someone else's silly little mistake hold you up.”

Shikako was… impressed by how innocent Kakashi looked. A bit silly, a bit eccentric, like a harmless old man.

In her head, she was running through everything she knew of Kakashi in her old life. In addition to her mostly-useless foreknowledge, the information Shikako managed to collect on the man was extra slim. Kakashi wasn’t in the Konoha issue bingo books… She and Shikamaru had only ever gotten their hands on a couple foreign ones - and these were the ones they found in dad’s study at home. There, Kakashi’s image was very much incomplete - especially the last few years - since all of the books they had access to were all issued pre-massacre. 

Ever since then, it was as if the man had ceased existing. It was a public, if unspoken secret that Kakashi was part of the ANBU at the time of the Uchiha Massacre. The whole slaughter was classified to high heavens, but everyone knew the ANBU were hit the hardest, having been closest to the fighting.

She and Shikamaru had gone to great lengths to collect the available scraps of information, back when Shika was still on her side. They had assigned suspected ANBU captain Kakashi to the likely dead category, at the time.

Clearly, he had fought and survived. Or, more likely, had been away on a classified mission, and didn’t even participate.

Nakano opened her mouth, then decided against it, only threw another glare in Kakashi’s direction and left. The door to the classroom closed.

Kakashi’s single eye scanned all three of them. Did the Uchiha let him keep the Sharingan? Shikako wondered.

"My first impression," he said flatly and paused for a moment. "You will need a lot of work."

Shikako flinched.

"Meet me on the roof in five minutes," Kakashi said, vanishing in a puff of chakra smoke.

Introductions

My ambition is to kill a certain man, the thought beat repeatedly in Shikako’s head. She knew the words from her old life. She really, really wanted to say them. Kill a certain man.

It would have been the stupidest thing ever. To kill a certain man. She couldn’t imagine how these words would sound from Sasuke, not a character from the animated show, but from a twelve year old boy in her class. She doubted it would sound sane if she said it, either. To kill a certain man. 

She didn’t even know what would happen if she said it like that. Maybe nothing. Vengeance was, in theory, a healthy outlet for an active duty shinobi. Especially if she never specified who.

“I’m Naruto Namikaze, the jinchuriki of the Kyuubi!” Naruto shouted out. “Just like my mother Kushina Uzumaki was! I love ramen, especially the kind Mikoto-obasan makes, and Ichiraku. I dislike… friends growing apart and betrayal. My hobbies are eating ramen and listening to Mikoto-obasan tell stories about my mother! And my dream… is to be the next Hokage!”

He looked so blindingly happy, Shikako couldn’t help but recoil. Why couldn’t they have put Sakura on this team? They could all have been happy together! Shikako couldn’t help but wonder what her being on a team with Ino and Kiba could have been like. Probably a lot better than this promised to be.

“You done?” Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes; right in time before Naruto could get started on a third dramatic pose in a row, or add anything else. “My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like my family, I hate conspiracies and bloodline thieves. My hobby is training with my friends. My dream, no… my hope for the future is to find proof that my brother is innocent, and bring him home.”

It took all of Shikako’s effort to not scream in Sasuke’s face; to not leap forward and start punching him in the face. Instead, she gripped her hands together, nails biting deep into the handwraps.

Sasuke… never believed the official story, same as she never did. Except… Sasuke had it in his head that someone framed his brother. He can’t have worked with Danzo willingly, Sasuke would say, to whoever would actually listen, and Shikako would have to resort to breathing exercises to calm down.

My ambition is to kill a certain man, the thought returned to her head. Your innocent brother turned my life into ashes! Shikako wanted to scream at Sasuke. Your innocent brother killed my father!

She knew there had to have been a lot more to the story. A part of her rational mind could conjure up a dozen little theories, some more plausible than others. The known facts were only that the Uchiha Massacre had claimed dozens of lives and that Shimura Danzo was the one blamed for attacking the Uchiha in an attempt to steal their bloodline for himself. 

Uchiha Itachi, in the leaked version all the rumours quoted, was assumed to be a member of Danzo’s personal guard, but the details were conflicting. Officially, almost everything to do with him was classified. Uchiha Itachi was declared a missing-nin, and there were deaths attributed to him, but never a full list officially confirmed. Just a trail of blood behind him.

It reeked of a cover up, or more accurately, of a convenient scapegoat to focus everyone’s hate on, after Danzo had been killed. The fact that the new Hokage had declared his own son a missing-nin had been enough to placate at least some of the clans. It shifted the blame from the Uchiha as a whole and focused it on one person, an acceptable target of hate.

Shikamaru and Shikako had spent countless hours trying to wade through official reports, comparing them to the multiple fabricated and real leaks, trying to find a through-line of truth. Itachi was a murderer, there was no doubt about that.

He had fought the old Ino-Shika-Cho. 

Inoichi, the only survivor of the old team, had all but confirmed it as true.

Shikako wanted revenge.

It wasn’t a rational part of her that called for Itachi’s death, and she was aware of it. Still, seeing Uchiha Itachi dead seemed much more important than finding out who exactly struck first, and how the whole coup had succeeded. No one ever called it a coup, but that's what it probably was.

Except Shikako didn’t really care who got to be the Hokage. After all, Uchiha Fugaku hadn't been involved in the Ino-Shika-Cho fight. Thus, he didn't matter. Shikako just wanted Uchiha Itachi dead.

Dead by my hand.

Sasuke paled a little, and Naruto flinched.

Shikako suddenly realized she’d been letting her emotions bleed into the shadows around her, and their edges had turned razor sharp, forming jagged spikes in all directions. She was leaking killing intent without noticing it in time!

“Your turn, spiky,” Kakashi said uncaringly, as if Shikako just hadn’t done an absolutely stupidest thing she could have done.

Actually saying the dumb line, would have been much safer than what she did. My ambition is to kill a certain man. Much better than leaking killing intent all over the place. I’m such a fool.

She pulled everything back into herself. Exhaled. Took a deep breath.

“Shikako Nara,” she said, after getting her voice under control. “I like our clan’s deer. I hate feeling weak. My hobbies… aren’t interesting. My dream is to become an elite Jonin and get to fight in the field.” To kill a certain man, she didn’t say. Somehow.

"Good," Kakashi said, clapping his hands together, like it was all a boring routine. "My name is Kakashi Hatake, my likes and dislikes don't matter and you're too young to know my hobbies. Now that we all know each other, I get to tell you all about tomorrow.”

Naruto recovered first. “Yeah!” he said, bouncing on his feet. “What’s gonna be our test? My and Sasuke’s mothers had to take a test to become part of their team! I bet we’re gonna ace it!”

Kakashi rolled his eyes. “I’ve been told I cannot fail your team,” he said. “So there is no point in you taking the test.”

Shikako blinked. What?

"Congratulations, you all passed,” Kakashi announced blandly, and yawned loudly behind the mask.

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged looks. 

“Meet me at Training Ground Three at five o'clock tomorrow morning. Training is going to be harsh. If you ever feel like quitting, you have my standing permission to request a transfer to the Genin Corps at any time.”

And then he was gone.

Three unfilled transfer forms were left on the ground.

None of them even touched one.

Chapter Text

Chapter III

The Eye That Opens In Experience

Oath

Shikamaru had shown up for her oath, deep into the twilight hours of the evening.

It was an official ceremony, so, however much Shikako wanted to grab Shikamaru by his damned Chunin vest and shake him, she remained perfectly polite, if a little overly formal towards her young clan head.

Inoichi had turned up too. It was a little unusual, but did feel like a nice gesture. Inoichi looked about as tired as on an average day, and spent most of the time slightly hunched, leaning most of his weight on his walking stick.

Each of the three clans swore their oaths at a different time of the day, but Shikako knew the Yamanaka clan head would be there not only for Ino’s, but for Choji’s swearing too… since he was the last surviving member of the old Ino-Shika-Cho.

Ino had already come over for a short visit earlier in the evening, announcing a hair's breadth success in their test, an impromptu combat-exercise Asuma put Team One through right away. She would be sworn in with the sunrise. Ino seemed excited for the team, especially having been paired up with Sakura. Even if Ino didn’t seem very glad about having to be the one to reign in Kiba, they clearly had found some common ground, at least for now.

Ino had also brought some sparse news about Choji’s team. The Uchiha-Akimichi-Aburame-Hyuga team didn’t get any test - naturally. They only spent a few hours training together, and completed the day with a shared meal at a popular Akimichi restaurant. Choji seemed to have taken a liking to his Jounin sensei and team. His clan oath would take place last of the three, almost in the middle of the day.

In turn, Shikako had barely anything to share. There was one noteworthy fact - that they passed without a test, same as Choji’s team, and the allegedly-accidental long wait for their sensei. Which was almost exactly what she said, nothing more.

Shikako banished Ino’s visit from her mind.

It was time.

She stepped forward, towards the monument, all three clan symbols right at her eye level.

“I, Shikako Nara, do hereby swear that to protect my team mates, the clan, those allied with us and Konoha itself, I will become one with the shadows.”

The oath burned at her lips. Was she lying? Would she actually have to protect Sasuke on a mission? Could she? She didn't know.

For the first time in her life, Shikako kinda wished she was considered the clan heir, because that oath wouldn’t have forced her to swear to protect Sasuke, nor her allies. She would have been much happier just swearing protection over Nara, Akimichi and Yamanaka.

It was probably Kasuga’s caution about her training methods with Shadow Jutsu that caused her to slip down to a secondary option in the potential heir list, behind some cousin she barely knew.

The thought fled as soon as it came. There would have been expectations as official heir, and she was very happy to be, at least for the moment, free of any extra load on her. It had never really mattered whatever various clan elders thought of her, either way.

Inoichi was the one to present Shikako with her Genin earrings. They were passed down from their father to Shikamaru, who had worn them until his promotion in Suna Chunin exams last year.

“Shikaku would have been proud of you,” Inoichi said, offering them to her. For that one moment, he was standing much straighter, steady as the memorial rock, as if helped up by her father’s memory.

I wish he was here for you himself, was something Shikako could just about imagine hearing in her mind. It was unsaid, but very much what she felt the man wanted to say. She’d probably imagined it entirely.

She barely managed to keep her tears in check as she bowed to accept the gift.

And if a tear or two escaped her, neither Inoichi nor Shika had said anything

“Inoichi-ojisan,” she said after the official part was finally over. “I am a shinobi now. You promised you would tell me how… dad… died once we were genin.”

Inoichi glanced at Shikamaru and back at Shikako, and let out a long, painful sigh, hunching back onto the walking stick, suddenly much, much lesser than he’d been moments before.. “Here. Now?”

Shikako reached out to touch the memorial stone of the three clans. Shikaku Nara was carved there, among many other names, right next to Choza Akimichi. The line of the names skipped a space there, unusually so, and continued right after. 

Everyone knew whose name would go into that empty spot.

Inoichi wasn’t looking her in the eyes, his gaze slowly panning about.

“Yes,” she confirmed. “Here. Please.” 

“Shikako…” Shikamaru cautioned. “Don’t.”

“You promised, Inoichi-ojisan,” Shikako pushed. “I need to know.”

Inoichi raised his right hand, forming a partial Ram seal one-handed. Closed his eyes. Shikako could feel the air pressure shifting with the chakra being used. It was like wisps of invisible smoke had gone flying in all directions.

Suddenly, Shikako could sense even more chakra signatures nearby. Four shinobi, lingering nearby, their chakra suppressed to a minimum. She hadn’t noticed them before, not until Inoichi’s subtle threads of chakra had reached them, betraying their positions.

The slivers of chakra swirled around the hidden men and then seeped right into them. All four took it as a signal to retreat into different directions, making more and more distance between them and the memorial stone.

Soon, Shikako couldn’t sense them, just like before. I need to get better. A lot better. She knew that Inoichi was a far more skilled sensor that she was, together with the Yamanaka aptitude for it, but she couldn’t help but feel bitter at not being able to detect the posted guards earlier.

Inoichi opened his eyes. He wasn’t looking at either Shikako or Shikamaru, instead staring at the empty space next to Choza’s name on the memorial stone. “Very well.”

Shikako felt herself tensing, so she latched onto nearby shadows. It was getting darker and darker, but the shadows were still fully theirs, especially next to the memorial stone. She could feel the echoes of decades long grief of the place. I need to know.

Then, Shikamaru’s shadow joined hers. Their shadows pushed at each other. Hers, filled with pain, guilt and rage, and his, echoing the exact same sorrow, but much more calm, serene. It… didn’t dampen the turmoil in her heart, but it… helped.

“This is all classified,” Inoichi said. “I cannot tell you much, but I can stretch the rules a little when it comes to family. Don’t make me regret this, Shikako-chan. You cannot tell anyone.”

Shikako nodded.

Shikamaru sighed, the pressure of her emotions in the shadow trying and failing to seep into him.

“You’ve read the Konoha bingo book,” Inoichi began, and Shikako nodded. “Itachi isn’t listed as Flee on Sight only because he often gives opponents a chance to run away. When we fought, he offered it to us. We weren’t in a position to accept his terms.”

Shikako’s mind started racing. The night of the Uchiha Massacre. Years ago, she and Shikamaru had poured over every little scrap of information available. The whole thing lasted less than five minutes. It couldn’t have been all Itachi, whatever the leaked information claimed. There were too many locations to cover for one shinobi, even with clone jutsu. Too many victims. Too little time.

She remembered the fate of the Uchiha from her old world. That was a clusterfuck and a half. Here, she didn’t have anywhere near the full picture, but if the old story had a kernel of truth… Shikako could extrapolate from the obvious results.

The Uchiha struck first.

However strong the Uchiha were, they could never have hoped to take out the whole village, it would have never worked out with raw numbers. Not in any sort of prolonged conflict. But… they didn’t need to. Take out the Hokage and his advisors before the General Forces had a chance to meaningfully respond. Force a truce, before the fighting even has a chance to spill over the rest of Konoha. All in a handful of minutes.

Shikako didn’t care about the Hokage. She cared about Itachi. “How did he fight?” she asked.

“It was a one-man ambush,” Inoichi said. “A strike at what we thought was a secure location, in the middle of a planning meeting. Took out most of the others with area genjutsu; used a rare Uchiha technique to break the building apart. It’s a little similar to Multi-Size Techniques of the Akimichi, but a lot more dangerous. I hadn't even known it existed until that night, but then I saw it twice in quick succession. It seems to be different for each Uchiha that can manifest it, but it’s near-impenetrable chakra armor that takes the shape of a giant warrior.”

Susanoo. Shikako half-remembered the name. ”Twice? Who did the second one belong to, Uchiha Shisui?” she guessed.

Inoichi looked at Shikako for the first time since he started re-telling the fight. “You know I can’t answer that.”

“The Godaime, most definitely,” Shikamaru answered instead. “Shisui can’t use it, because the technique requires both eyes to work. That’s it’s weak spot.”

That had to have been an Uchiha clan secret, Shikako knew, but Shikamaru’s delivery almost made it sound like common knowledge.

Inoichi rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “You’re both still on this?”

Shikako pretended she didn’t understand what Inoichi was referring to, even if it was obvious. Shikamaru remained evasive, too.

“Just something the Jounin Commander mentioned,” he lied casually, as if Shika’s assistant position to the man gave him unlimited access to Uchiha clan secrets. 

Shikako’s lips twitched almost involuntarily, but she easily turned a disbelieving snort into a regular frown. Her brother hardly ever talked to Shikako about the actual tasks Uchiha Yashiro had him doing, but it wasn’t a secret that the current Jounin Commander was widely disliked and extremely tight lipped.

Inoichi shook his head. “Whatever it is you’re planning, you should drop it,” he said and fell silent. There were a lot of things he could have said. After all, this wasn’t the first time they were trying to get details from Itachi’s deadly fight against Ino-Shika-Cho, nor was it the last time Inoichi guessed at their thoughts about revenge.

It was a well-threaded ground, even if Inoichi had never mentioned Susanoo before. Even if he never actually said how exactly that short fight ended.

Shikako had her theories, same as Shikamaru clearly had his. A giant opponent meant that Choza had to have stepped up. But from what Shikako half-remembered from another life, it wasn’t a technique that could be matched this easily. Knowing Itachi, a direct confrontation like that would have been deadly. It probably was exactly that. Every single member of the Ino-Shika-Cho was ready to die for each other, so the answer was obvious.

Itachi had killed Choza. There was no other way.

Shikako was about to ask again, to push for more information, when Inoichi took another long breath. Shikamaru shifted his weight forward, leaning a tiny bit closer, tensing up. He had to have badgered Inoichi upon making Genin himself, but every bit of information could be useful. Even if he had heard it before, maybe there’d be an extra silver of truth to catch.

“Your father’s last command for me was to live,” Inoichi finally picked up the narration. “I wasn’t gonna listen, but his jutsu proved faster than mine.”

Shikako could easily picture it in her mind, Shikaku catching his lifetime friend in a shadow jutsu, before he could sacrifice himself in a desperate attack of some sort. What if Inoichi had been a drop quicker? a traitorous part of her supplied the question immediately. Would Shikaku be the one offering crumbs of truth to Ino or Choji at their swearing ceremonies?

“In the end, it was a fire jutsu that got him,” Inoichi breathed out. There were tears in the man’s eyes. “Your father truly became one with the shadows that night. It… wasn’t enough.”

Fire jutsu? Shikako refused to accept that answer as the full truth. There was no way. Her half forgotten memories offered a different, entirely plausible guess. Amaterasu. 

It fit.

Itachi had burned her father alive.

Shikako bit down on the scream that threatened to escape her. Clamped down on the rage. When it was too much, she gave some of it to the shadows.

Shikamaru flinched, because their shadows were still connected. Her rage was almost swallowed by his grief, but not quite.

She was gonna make Itachi pay, even if it killed her too.

Inoichi’s breathing turned uneven. Eyes became unfocused. The hand clutching the walking stick grew even whiter than ever before.

His lips moved, but there was hardly any sound.

Shikako pushed some chakra into her ears, hoping to catch something, anything.

Judging from her chakra senses and shadow connection, Shikamaru was doing the same.

“...done,” the word was so quiet, Shikaku might have imagined it leaving Inoichi’s lips. All others that followed were similarly distant. Some were completely undecipherable, some seemed almost understandable. “...surrendered…”

Inoichi wasn’t looking at them, not anymore.

In fact, the man wasn’t looking at anything at all, completely lost in pain and in the faraway memory. Shikako’s eyes welled with tears, as she understood exactly what Inoichi was seeing before his eyes. Their father, dying.

“...release-” Inoichi choked up on the word. 

A few more followed, none of them clear.

There was a very short pause of complete silence.

“Stop that jutsu!” the man shouted out with no warning, this time actually perfectly understandable and loud. His voice cracked, and the tone was pleading.

Shikako’s ear’s rang. She almost canceled the chakra trick she was using, as the sound felt almost painfully loud with it active. However, she didn’t dare to stop listening in. 

What if... there’d be more?

Her hunch proved correct.

“What do you mean you can’t?” once again, Inoichi’s question was near-impossible to hear, but for the chakra assisted hearing. The question wasn’t directed at them, only at the memory. 

Wasn't Amaterasu a flame that never stopped burning? The thought chilled her soul. She couldn't recall the vital details. Maybe... her father had caught Itachi with in some Shadow Jutsu, and that prevented the proper control of the technique? She hoped she was wrong, and yet…

Shikako could almost see it all going down.

The Uchiha had struck at multiple points at the same time, in a coordinated effort. Two Susanoo techniques were being used at the same time, since Inoichi admitted seeing them both - probably at a bit of a distance from each other. 

If… Uchiha Fukagu had defeated the Hokage, only the Jounin Commander could offer an unconditional surrender - but not before the Hokage was confirmed dead.

The Uchiha desperately needed to arrange for that quick surrender. Before all of the other forces converged on the fight, before it became an unwinnable struggle. If the Jounin Commander did not give the order of surrender and died… the chain of command would break, and achieving any sort of truce would become impossible, not on the timeline of minutes the Uchiha Massacre took place.

Itachi set her father on fire, and demanded that Konoha surrender. Oh, how Shikako hated that thought. But she needed only to look into Inoichi’s haunted eyes, and there they were, the burning black flames of the Amaterasu, devouring her father alive.

Inoichi would be the only one able to relay the order with all the correct codes in time, and be believed.

What had he said?

Your father’s last command for me was to live.

Shikako’s heart skipped a beat. She knew the truth now.

Shikaku was the one to surrender to the Uchiha coup, after witnessing the death of the Hokage.

Inoichi was the one to broadcast the command.

Itachi… couldn’t cease the technique afterwards, because Amaterasu burned until the target was dead.

Shikako gasped for air.

The Itachi she’d watched in the half-forgotten show, talked about how he wanted peace, and yet would do absolutely horrible things to achieve it. 

Itachi had burned her father alive, because that was the only way he saw to stop the coup from becoming a war.

Her footing wavered, and she almost slipped onto one knee.

“Shikako?” Her twin brother grabbed onto her hand, fear… and understanding ringing in his voice.

Did he know, too? Shikako didn’t dare to look at his face, lest she see the answer in his expression. His shadows were overwhelmingly filled with open grief and pain.

As she slowly straightened herself, with Shika’s help, Inoichi was looking at them both. Eyes focused, but gaze unreadable. “Never ask me again,” the man said, clearly back to the present, the episode that caught him in its grip, ended. “Please.”

And then he turned away from them, limping off towards the Yamanaka clan grounds. Slowly. Very slowly.

Shikako pulled Shikamaru closer, and burrowed her face into his chest.

They didn’t talk at all for the rest of the night.

Gift

Kakashi’s training regiment was weird.

Some days, it would take hours for them to find him in the training grounds, while on others, he was running them through demanding training drills from minute one that would leave each and every one of them exhausted, including Naruto.

Afterwards, he’d take them to the mission desk to enroll them on a D-rank or two, leaving them alone for the duration. Kakashi would only come back afterwards, and only to drop yet another unsubtle hint that transferring out to Genin Corps would be a good idea to get them out of the demanding workload.

None of them wavered, even remotely considering his offer.

Shikako was even grateful for the training she was getting out of it; even if she could never tell in advance which day would be demanding, and which would mean free time until Kakashi deigned to be found.

On the days when they couldn’t find him early, Shikako would spend time training her Shadow Jutsu or practicing sealing. Sometimes, Naruto and Sasuke would spar, and on occasion Shikako would join them for a two on one or a free-for-all match. The two of them were an annoying close match to her, and were getting better each time.

This day, even if Kakashi was late, something else was different.

Sasuke was lingering closer than usual, just at the edge of the swirling shadows she was controlling. He’d left Naruto alone for a bit, which was a little unusual. The two were almost always together, ever since Naruto moved to live in the Uchiha clan grounds.

“What?” Shikako finally looked up, opening her eyes. “You want a spar?”

“I-” Sasuke began, then shut up. There was a dark wooden box in his hands, marked with an Uchiha fan.

She raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

“Why haven’t you told-” he tried again and then shook his head. “I couldn’t figure out why you don’t reach out anymore, and why on the day of the team introductions…”

Shikako kept looking.

“I’ve asked Shisui about it,” Sasuke said finally. “He told me the truth.”

Shikako tried to keep a neutral expression, but her shadows flinched anyway. She wondered what exact version of truth had Shisui chosen to reveal, and how much of it.

“I always thought - hoped - that Itachi only killed the corrupt ANBU… Maybe hit someone by accident, and then ran away,” Sasuke was clearly struggling to get through what he wanted to say. “I knew your father died, but I thought it was all Danzo. I never realized… I’m sorry.”

Shikako stared, expression cold. He didn’t know? How? She clenched her teeth.

Sasuke then lowered himself on his knees and bowed before her all stiff and awkward, placing the wooden box on the ground. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, then jumped up awkwardly and stood there for a bit.

Shikako kept her stare even as Sasuke retreated back to where he’d left Naruto. Then, she closed her eyes, and returned to training with her shadow.

Kakashi didn’t show up for a while longer.

Eventually, she opened her eyes again, glaring at the offending box. She let the somewhat solid tendrils of her shadow poke and prod at it, before starting an exercise to drag it closer.

It took her an embarrassingly long amount of time.

Shikako tore the lid open with her shadows. Finally.

Inside, there was a half-dozen of kunai, a pile of senbon and a generous spool of ninja wire. All made by Uchiha craftsmen and marked as such. It was an expensive apology gift.

Shikako sighed.

When Kakashi finally revealed his chakra signature, she left the box on the grass, still open. The kunai and senbon were left untouched. The usual Nara equipment was good enough.

Shikako did pocket the wire.

If Sasuke ever noticed that, he never commented on it. 

Chapter Text

Chapter IV

The Eye That Opens In Battle

Bait

Their first C rank mission was weirdly uneventful, but dragged on much longer than expected.

Shikako had long since gotten used to the idea that nothing would play out like in her old life’s memories of the show, but she still had a bad feeling about the first C-rank. She was ready for anything to go wrong at any time.

It… didn’t.

Kakashi had chosen a message pick up and delivery mission for the team.

Their long route took them through multiple Konoha outposts, still in Konoha territory, but quite far from the village. Kakashi drilled them in the art of reading the markings in friendly territory, including recognizing the fake ones, and then put them to work on finding and charting the paths to the next outpost on their list.

The whole mission was tedious, had them covering long distances, and that was not counting the extra training and awareness drills Kakashi put them through. He'd also put quite a bit of emphasis on improving their speed. Shikako was glad to learn all these things, but getting woken up in the middle of the night to react to a fake ambush had gotten old after the fourth time it happened.

Kakashi had them running about nearly all the time, for three very long weeks.

Nothing of note had happened at all during them.

...

The last outpost they visited was very small, consisting only of one team of three Chunnin.

All deliveries finally complete, they set out to get back to Konoha. Like before, they had expected Kakashi to leave it to them to plan the route based on the navigation lessons… except, their squad commander had an entirely different plan.

Kakashi casually chose to follow an entirely different trail of markers. It was quite a bit of a detour. Naruto raised a little fuss about it, but Kakashi countered with the promise of a better campsite for the night.

It… was unusually chatty of Kakashi, and Shikako felt there was something more at play. She didn’t ask.

This odd choice had put Shikako even more on edge. And the evidence of the weirdness was mounting. Kakashi continued issuing casual commands, not in any way different from a way he’d have them running drills. Except, this time, it didn’t feel like training anymore.

Tree hopping at incredibly high speed, covering way more distance than in any day before. It was as if Kakashi was late for something, and they had to catch up in time to some unknown timetable.

Then, Shikako sensed something else unusual about their trip.

Something had snuck up on their gear, in that mad dash forward.

Shikako flashed a questioning sign in Konoha standard sign language at Kakashi who was still managing to peek at his book every so often, despite the high speeds.

Kikaichu? her simple question was one subtle handsign.

And there were a handful of the little bugs, sticking to the uniforms and their packs. They were all hiding, but Shikako could sense them all the same. The oddest thing was that the last outpost didn’t even have an Aburame on staff, so these kikaichu had to have snuck upon them mid-travel.

Maybe, Kakashi had deliberately had them taking a route through a scouting swarm. Either one he’d noticed earlier, or… it was something he’d planned for way in advance.

Instead of answering Shikako’s question right away, Kakashi took a sideways leap, landing on the same tree as the one Shikako was aiming at with her leap. The next moment, she was within his reach. He reached out and ruffled her hair, and leaped away.

Ally.

Shikako barely caught Kakashi’s response, since she was a little busy being annoyed at being treated like a child.

So… Kakashi had known. It didn’t give Shikako any answers yet.

She could only try to stretch her senses further than before and be ready for anything.

The Kikaichu scouts remained a constant presence on their gear - but she never sensed any more in the surrounding area, meaning the swarm was either left behind, or they had waded through forward scouts.

The team cleared out of the forest, arriving into a more arid area. The lack of trees slowed their pace down a little.

Kakashi led them on, at a more leisurely pace, reading his book.

Shikako had remained on high alert, her senses were stretched in all directions.

It was already slowly getting dark when she sensed it.

The ambush.

“... how much farther?” Naruto started pestering Kakashi the second their pace slowed down for him to catch up easier, right as Shikako stiffened in unprofessional surprise.

She tried to snap back into a neutral expression, but all of her teammates noticed. Kakashi’s ambush training kicking into full gear,  Sasuke and Naruto snapping to attention, too.

Foreign chakra, Shikako signed clumsily in the Konoha sign language, in a hurry. Multiple opponents, more than five, less than ten, underground. Possible jutsu/trap/ambush.

Kakashi-sensei looked… calm.

Stick together, Kakashi-sensei signed, making sure all three of them saw it; before Shikako even managed to ask for the course of action. Retreat west. Now.

They started moving as one. Without question or hesitation.

Except for Kakashi, who continued his run towards the ambush, as if nothing had changed.

The next moment, the ground Kakashi stepped on erupted in an explosion.

Shikako felt a flare of chakra as Kakashi evaded a trap, but she was too busy herseft to track him accurately.

The blast was entirely overkill, raining rock and fire in all directions. Dodging out of the way of the harm was a much higher priority than keeping an exact lock on Kakashi’s location.

Pebbles and dirt rained on her, but she - and her teammates - were spared the worst.

The Illusionary clone of Kakashi was torn to pieces. Shikako couldn’t sense her sensei at all now.

Still, there were orders to follow.

Westward.

Sasuke and Naruto followed her running retreat.

Enemi shinobi were popping out of the ground, one by one.

She could sense twelve chakra signatures now - three full four-man teams.

Shikako ran though the four seals needed for her jutsu. "Earth Release: Earth-Style Wall!", she shouted, placing the person-sized wall behind them, as a handful of projectiles bounced off it harmlessly.

Sasuke stabbed at a hand that appeared out of the ground near his feet.

Naruto leaped over a bald, muscular combatant that emerged before him, planting his sandals right into the man’s face.

Shikako’s shadow connected with the man’s as she ran past, and without even slowing down, she used the fact that he was holding a kunai to quickly slap the side of her fist at her own throat. There was significant resistance to overcome - the possession was a bit too quick, but it worked with lethal effect.

Shikako noted the expression of surprise, as the man toppled over. She pushed away all of the fear and doubt into the shadow, replacing it with the mild numbness that came with riding the dangerous edge of her shadow jutsu training.

Team Seven continued their furious retreat westward, as Shikako tried to get a lock on the exact number of opponents.

Her initial guess proved way off.

The main ambush had been around ten people, but there had been stray signatures in other directions too, converging on them now. Shikako put her best estimate at sixteen total opponents.

One was wounded by Sasuke, one was downed by her and quickly fading out.

That would have made it fourteen able combatants, except now even more falling behind in the chase and fading out.

A few seconds later, she could only count ten pursuers again.

Kakashi, Shikako realized.

“Don’t let the Namikaze escape!” someone shouted, and Sasuke breathed fire in their direction.

Naruto created three clones, two of which henged instantly into copies Sasuke and Shikako, and all three of them turned to run northward, dragging a couple of pursuers their way. Shikako suspected that this Naruto didn't know the forbidden mass clone jutsu, for whatever reason, but someone had to have taught him the basic Shadow clones instead, since their occasional spars proved he could reliably summon up to five at once.

The chase continued.

Shikako threw back a few kunai with explosive tags attached to them, but since their focus was on speed and gaining distance, it didn’t amount to much more than a distraction.

Their pursuers retaliated with earth jutsu, throwing projectiles in attempts to hit them or block their path, forcing them to weave between the rocks raining from above.

Then, there was a sudden build up of chakra underneath them, as a powerful earth jutsu hijacked something deep in the ground to race past them at lightning speed. Shikako suspected they had chosen the retreat path wrong - but she didn’t have much clue on the natural chakra pathways deep underground nor that they could be used to help along jutsu like this.

“Look out below,” she shouted out, making a mental note to look up whatever information there was on the natural chakra ley lines if they survived this attack.

The ground crumbled beneath their feet, shaking and tearing apart in deep maze-like trenches. They fell down, Shikako’s warning just enough to make it into a controlled tumble instead of a completely panicked plunge.

Their pursuers weren’t impeded by the slightest, most of them extremely proficient with earth jutsu. The closest one, a bald man on the scrawnier side without a visible forehead protector, was already sliding on earth more than running, and the sudden change in verticality just served to increase his speed.

Shikako could sense Sasuke taking the man on close range, while still keeping to the retreat - but she ended up in an entirely different trench and was unable to help directly. A couple more chakra signatures were real close to Naruto, too.

She slapped a pre-drawn explosive tag on a jagged wall where she sensed a hostile chakra signature approaching though, and ran forward, navigating the maze to rendezvous with her team, hopefully keeping to the westward direction. She could sense a few more kikaichu in that direction, so perhaps the allies controlling them were close by - which had to have been why Kakashi had sent them in this direction.

Make more explosive tags next time, Shikako reminded herself as the explosions let her evade the nearest pursuers.

Soon, she found a connecting trench, emerging close enough to Sasuke - who had knocked out one opponent but was now facing off against two more, clearly a little on the backfoot, dodging and weaving between sharp earth spikes a foreign kunoichi was trying to pierce him with. Another opponent had conjured multiple earth clones of himself, and a lot of Sasuke’s deadliest hits were wasted on the hardened stone of the clones.

She could have left Sasuke there, to fend for himself, and gone on to support Naruto instead.

After all, Naruto was clearly the main target of this attack - he was the focus of most of the pursuers. At least the orange-clad boy was real quick on his feet, a drop further along this new maze than Sasuke or her, evading the enemies for now - who clearly had some precise way to track them inside this earth maze.

Tremors of the earth, perhaps?

There were hints of chakra still in the jutsu that caused the earth to shatter in the first place, supporting that theory.

Shikako grit her teeth, and intervened in Sasuke’s fight anyway.

The shadows of the deep trench gave her a little advantage, even if she couldn’t hope to control all of the earth clones at once. All of her and Shikamaru’s dangerous training with the shadows gave her a few more options.

Shadow tendrils still weren’t ready to be used as a proper weapon, but constantly pouring her fear and anger into the shadow was just about enough for quick, annoying spikes. They didn’t do much more than a few papercuts would… but the earth clones didn’t bleed.

However, their opponent was clever enough to realize it for an attempt to find the real him and melded into the ground before Shikako could trap him in the shadow jutsu. And then, both she and Sasuke were quite busy fending off the attack of the sturdy earth clones.

Shikako had always excelled in her taijutsu training, but their opponent was good, possibly lower Jounin level in taijutsu, forcing her and Sasuke both to the limits of their ability. Staying alive and keeping track of their underground enemy - what is he planning - was just about all Shikako could manage.

Sasuke caught one earth clone with the wires, and Shikako slapped an explosive tag on it, and it exploded, taking yet another clone down with the shockwave and debris. Before they had a chance to even think on the next course of action, there was another spike of chakra in the area, pulsing though the chakra leyline.

Shikako didn’t have much time to think, dashing forward and slamming into Sasuke, who hadn’t yet noticed the danger, propelling both of them forward and upwards with all the strength she could muster.

The gashes in the ground shook and the earth trembled, closing up on itself, walls slamming right into one another, trying to bury them alive.

There isn't enough time!

Sasuke barely made it out first… but the thundering jaws of closing earth bit onto Shikako’s leg at the last moment.

Even though she felt a pang of pain shooting up though the leg, she still quickly put her hands into the rat seal for the nara jutsu, just as their two opponents emerged though the earth, completely untouched by the destruction around them, hoping to catch them backfooted.

“Shadow Possession Complete,” Shikako choked out. She had almost been fast enough. Her being stuck in place had made her too easy of a target, so of course the enemy shinobi used the opportunity to deliver a thrown kunai right into her side.

The wire mesh shirt she was wearing under her jacket couldn’t stop the hit completely, but she was nevertheless grateful for wearing it. It still hurt, and she was slowly losing blood, but it wasn't as lethal as it could have been.

Sasuke, unhelpfully, was staring at Shikako wide eyed, as she kept on holding both shinobi locked in place, limited by what she could force them to do by her injuries.

Sasuke’s eyes were slowly turning red, but he just didn’t seem to be able to move, rooted to the spot. Didn’t attack, didn’t take out the enemy shinobi Shikako had caught. Just watched. Shikako clenched her teeth and started to doubt she could hold the jutsu long enough for Sasuke to gather his wits.

It was his first real fight, after all.

Riding the edge of falling into the black came with a soothing sense detachment. Sure, there was biting pain in her side, and her stuck foot was probably dislocated by now, but it wasn’t like she had to be fully processing it. She might lose the grip on her jutsu and die soon, but it wasn’t as scary as it could be. Things were slowly mattering less and less.

Maybe… she could drag her two opponent’s minds together into the shadows with her?

Shikako didn’t get to try.

There was a sudden gust of wind, and a boom of displaced air cracked around them. Shikako felt a very slight jolt from the possession jutsu’s feedback, as the unexpected attack at the two shinobi she had trapped cut right through them.

It wasn’t Sasuke.

A chakra signature flared into existence to her senses, as some advanced suppressing technique faded out right next to her.

“Sorry we’re a little late,” the young Uchiha man quipped and shook off the blood from the short blade he’d just used to cut down the two enemy shinobi. He had only one eye, a dark four-point pinwheel spinning in it. “Iwa really didn’t spare their forces for this one.”

“Shi…sui,” Sasuke choked out.

There were a lot more of fading chakra signatures now, Shisui seemed to have cut quite a path of death before reaching them, leaving only a couple stragglers for his team to mop up.

Shino's kikaichu where everywhere now, looking for hidden opponents.

The last things Shikako sensed...

A burst of chakra from Choji’s jutsu in the distance as she noticed the whole of Team Six converging on Naruto’s location, Hinata leading the counter-attack - and Naruto's chakra was behaving weird in ways that Shikako couldn’t figure out, brightening in intensity.

Kakashi was also very close, bright lightning chakra lighting up his path. His forehead protector was lifted, and one of his eyes was red.

Shikako let herself pass out at that sight.

She dreamt of the night of the Kyuubi attack.

…

Much later, when Sasuke would pester her about why she had pushed him out of the way of the jutsu trap first, without making sure she could get out safely herself, she would lie. My body just moved on its own, she’d say, entirely aware of the irony of using Sasuke’s own words from another world that never was.

The truth… was much more painful to bear.

Sasuke… was just a little kid. Shikako just couldn’t force herself to abandon him to get injured or die.

…

On their slow way back to Konoha together with Team Six, Shikako learned Naruto had brought out Kyuubi's chakra after she’d passed out - which perfectly explained the nightmare she had.

It had taken Kakashi working with Shisui to calm him down.


No one had been seriously hurt - even if Shikako ended up needing some medical care.

Naruto... had healed all of his injuries himself.

Predictably, Naruto didn’t care about the danger to himself. He didn’t care that the Hokage had obviously used him as bait, with his Namikaze name. He was in too deep with the Uchiha, “Mikoto-obasan” having turned him into a little mouthpiece for the Uchiha way of Konoha.

Naruto was excited to have helped the Uchiha - and Konoha itself, by extension. Sure, Iwa would deny the attempt on the last Namikaze was orchestrated by them, but the political fallout of a failure like this would still be huge.

As far as Shikako knew, Kakashi and Shisui had left no survivors.

Naruto had been so excited, he was eager to retell the whole fight, including the first time he knowingly used Kyuubi’s chakra, to whomever would listen - including all of the outposts they stopped by to rest at.

Shisui was encouraging him to spread the tale, too, at least in the begining.

Shikako got tired of it after the third time.

Everyone else did too, eventually, except for Hinata.

Naruto had to have told all about him fighting the Iwa ambush with Hinata present at least seven times - including at least twice just to Hinata herself - and those were only the times Shikako knew about.

Even if Hinata had been part of the anvil to shatter the Iwa ambush, she was just glad to get Naruto’s attention.

Shisui kept making little jokes about the two being cute together.

Shikako couldn’t care less.

Even if it was a little funny.

Still, she was glad to have Choji returning to Konoha with her.

It was... peaceful, in a weird way.

Test

Naturally, Kakashi nominated them for Chunin Exams.

The disastrous ambush after C-rank seemed to have changed something. Kakashi finally had stopped his usual pestering about them transferring out of the Team Seven and into Genin Corps.

Shikako didn’t know what exactly the man was thinking, but her guess was that upon promotion there was a chance Team Seven would be split up, so it worked out for him just as well as a transfer out would. He could also have been whittled down and defeated by Naruto’s way-too-cheerful style of pestering, or found some other reason to care, but Shikako doubted it.

Whatever the true reason was, she planned on getting promoted as soon as possible herself. Chunin was just a stepping stone, but it would open up more resources, more access, and pave the road to becoming a hunter-nin sooner.

Shikako went in prepared for the worst.

It ended up being too easy.

Too clean.

She had a bad feeling following her throughout the whole exam, and that was not even counting whatever little insights her old life’s memories had left her. And yet… nothing happened.

Shikako was almost disappointed when the team from Grass didn’t turn out to have any kind of imposters.

Her explosive seal, prewritten before the day of exam, and planted with an intention of crippling the team that might have just included an Orochimaru in disguise, proved a little overzealous. They couldn’t recover enough pieces of Grass teams’ scroll to tell if it was a Heaven or an Earth one.

Naruto kept giving her a stink eye after that one, but she ignored him. After all, they had all signed the same consent form before going into the forest. It wasn’t her fault the Grass team wasn’t quick enough.

She even left the next team they met alive after taking their scroll. It didn’t placate Naruto completely, but he at least stopped trying to glare a hole in her back after that.

...

A short boring wait in the forest tower later…

All of the Konoha Nine made it to the preliminary fights.

Ino, Sakura and Kiba all had minor scrapes, clearly having gotten into a few fights during the second part of the exam. Hinata, Shino and Choji had been the third team to arrive at the tower, right after Team Seven, who almost beat the team from Suna with Temari and Kankuro. A team that suspiciously lacked Gaara.

The preliminary fights were surprisingly uneventful.

The only one to sustain any serious injuries was Hinata, with Naruto getting into an argument with Neji about it. In the end, Neiji backed down and formally apologized to the former Hokage’s son, which left Naruto even more furious, swearing revenge despite that formal public apology.

Shikako’s fight against Kankuro was also quite anticlimactic, too.

Kankuro taunted her that even if she caught him with the clan’s jutsu, he could still use the puppet to attack her - partially true, but irrelevant for Shikako’s chosen tactics. She could sense the exact moment Kankuro switched places, so instead of responding verbally, she dashed in with speed and slapped a knockout tag on the boy disguised as a puppet, bypassing the need to test Kankuro’s chakra control while restrained entirely.

She did cut it a little close to getting scratched by the puppet, but she also knew that Konoha had medic-nin on hand, even if the poison turned out to be more dangerous than expected. And even then, she suspected Kankuro would have had the antidote.

And just like that, she was qualified for the third task of the Chunin Exams.

Nothing went wrong in the month leading up to the final tournament, either.

Kakashi never took Sasuke aside for personal lessons, and in turn, all three of them continued to train together for the rest of the month. If Jiraiya even was alive or in the village, Shikako did not hear anything about him from Naruto or anyone else. Just another case of her memories being wrong.

Naruto did get some classified training with Uchiha supervision, missing a few days of training. Neither she nor Sasuke got to see what it was, but Shikako had some ideas what it could have been about.

Three days before the final task, a larger delegation arrived from Suna, including their Kazekage.

This was the first time Shikako got a short scare - and it wasn’t the sight of the foreign Kage that did it. Naruto had grabbed her hand after the day’s training, and asked if she wanted to go with him to meet Kazekage’s youngest son Gaara, who was also a jinchuriki.

Shikako declined the offer and held her distance.

Just in case.

No one was killed, and no war started, so Shikako assumed the meeting between the two had gone well. Naruto was certainly happy about it on their next day of training, having made a new friend. According to him.

...

Later, right when Shikako was about to let herself be lulled into a false sense of security, seconds before her match against Shino was set to happen, the invasion started.

It was almost a relief to see smoke coming out of the Kages’ box, because her bad feeling was finally validated.

The fighting that broke out in the stands was a whole different mess - especially when Shikako realized the Sand ninja were fighting on Konoha’s side - except for Gaara, who went on an aimless rampage, crashing right though the arena’s stands and retreating into the surrounding forest.

Shikako didn’t get to see what she suspected was Orochimaru fighting both of the present Kage at once, but only because Kakashi gave them a mission to gather some of the other rookies and team up with Temari and Kankuro. All to follow Gaara and try to lead him somewhere where he couldn’t hurt any allies, until someone else - preferably the Kazekage himself - would free up from the fighting and contain him properly. In a pinch, Naruto was given permission to go all out.

Naruto was quite excited for a potential fight with another jinchuriki - his alleged friend at that - and completely oblivious as to why Temari and Kankuro were especially weary of him after these two proclamations.

The chase after Gaara led their sizable impromptu team deep into the surrounding forest. The opposition was harder than expected, forcing them to clash with the Sound Four, whose presence here, Shikako noted, meant that there was no one to hold a barrier over the Kage box, quite unlike in the half-remembered story in her head.

They dropped off to deal with them in pairs.

Traitor

Tayuya and her summons were a challenge, but Shikako arranged for quite an unfair matchup by choosing her. Temari’s wind kept Tayuya on the defensive, even with her three dangerous demonic summons and her deadly transformation. To top it off, Shikako was quite adept at breaking all attempts at genjutsu.

Shikako quickly confirmed that the sound of the flute was essential for the control of the summons, which meant that Temari’s wind was a perfect counter to have, just as planned.

The only thing Shikako was still considering was whether it was worth wasting more time taking Tayuya prisoner or if it would be better to kill her and return to the others faster, except the situation changed suddenly, before the fight could conclude.

A new presence arrived into the new clearing Temari had created during their short fight.

There was no flashy attack, no display of overwhelming power - not at first, just… a strange woman had appeared standing still in the middle of their battle.

Her tunic-like outfit was tied with a thick rope, and had a whole heap of little scratches and tears as if from narrowly escaping a barrage of projectiles, but her body didn’t look injured in the slightest. Her eyeliner was thick, giving her face a very slight snake-like look. There was also a living snake wrapped around one of her hands.

Neither Shikako, nor Temari managed to do anything, because the next moment the thick wave of killing intent hit, stopping them both in their tracks completely.

Shikako had been practicing and even deliberately honing her own killing intent, especially in conjunction with her shadow jutsu, but it hadn’t truly prepared her for how this one felt.

It choked her throat with the taste of rotting meat with each breath. It burned her skin, this rough and angry chakra that was full of raw, undirected hatred.

Orochimaru, for the woman couldn’t have been anyone else, was furious - clearly, things hadn’t gone to their plan back at Konoha.

It's still not as bad as Kyuubi had been, Shikako grasped the thought. She’d have to learn to deal with this if she’d want even a sliver of a chance with getting Itachi into an ambush. She imagined facing Itachi would be worse.

“Tayuya,” Orochimaru demanded. “I still have a use for you and others. Retreat.”

Then, Orochimaru turned their gaze at Shikako.

There was only one thing to do.

Shikako poured all of her doubt and fear into the shadows around her, pumped her muscles full of chakra, left just enough fury in herself to be able to forge ahead and launched into a desperate attack.

It wasn’t a smart thing to try.

She was very much in a different league, however much training she had under her belt.

Orochimaru deflected her attacks. Disrupted her attempts at jutsu. Tore up her paper seals. Shattered her attempt at Shadow Paralysis with a burst of pure, burning chakra.

Temari used Shikako’s desperate attack as an opportunity to retreat.

Orochimaru slammed Shikako’s back into a tree, gripping her throat with one hand, and holding her against it, the snake poised for a strike inches from Shikako’s face.

The attack didn’t come.

Shikako was holding onto Orochimaru’s hand, desperately trying and failing to make a sudden breakthrough with her applying explosive seals by touch. No such luck.

“Good effort, girl…. I have heard of you,” they hissed at her. “You’re one of Shikaku’s twins. The determined Nara, racing towards their death, searching though records above your clearance, thinking no one took notice. Are you set on taking revenge on all Uchiha or just Itachi?”

Shikako continued struggling, even when the words ‘searching through records’ resonated with one of her greatest fears. She’d always wanted to understand, to know what world she was in. To know the history of the world she lived in. Before the massacre it was just her, and after, Shikamaru had joined her - and left her in the dust.

Was it enough to read some history books and ask some questions to change the course of the world? Or had she always been born in a world where history was different? Or… maybe, the Uchiha coup was always as close to success as here, and it was the bad luck of the draw. A flip of the coin the universe made that landed on the wrong side.

Knowing her luck, it was some innocent question she asked her father that did it.

She was all but certain that was the case, but she could never prove it.

And then, when Itachi’s name was mentioned, some subconscious reaction had to have betrayed her inner turmoil, because Orocimaru laughed a very chilling laugh.

Shikako desperately needed a new plan. The shadow possession hadn’t worked, but she could still manipulate the shadows to a degree. She wasn’t good enough for a quick attack, but given enough time…

“Your father’s last jutsu was quite exquisite, entangling with his opponent like he did, dragging him out of that Uchiha armor like it was nothing,” Orochimaru said, sounding almost enthralled by thoughts about it. “Do you know that a fragment of him still lives on - a rather unique form of life past death? I connected with him the last time I met Itachi, but it was way too short to understand the full potential of it…”

Shikako stilled completely.

Shadows are a reflection.

Could it be true?

It was an obvious bait for a trap, and yet… If Orochimaru was, as they had just said, interested in the high-level techniques of Shadow Jutsu… they’d need to work with a willing Nara to make any sort of progress.

“Oh yes,” Orochimaru confirmed. “He’s part of Itachi’s shadow, now, going wherever he goes. You’re a nosy Nara, I’m sure you figured out the important things about the Uchiha coup and how much of your family’s blood is on Itachi’s hands. All on the orders of his father, of course. He’s only banished to appease the rest of the village, to give them another villain to hate. Konoha loves a good scapegoat, that has never changed. I was one. When I was banished, they blamed me for all of Danzo’s crimes, too, to clear his slate of misdeeds. Now, Itachi serves as an excuse to keep the Uchiha looking cleaner than they are.”

Shikako tried to nod, however much the iron grip of her assailant allowed. Even as she continued to try and sharpen the shadow beneath them into a thin, sharp spear - about as wide as a needle. There would be only one shot with it. Or none, if Orochimaru noticed it too early.

“It’s only a matter of time until he’s invited back home,” Orochimaru said, words seeped with poisoned honey. “Accepted back as a faithful son of the Hokage, a hero who stopped further bloodshed. At the cost of your father’s life. By then, it will be too late. Itachi will be too well defended, untouchable. The last vestige of your father will be lost. Faded.”

“Why-” Shikako managed.

“You have to realize that Konoha is a cage,” Orochimaru said. “And that I alone can offer you a key. A different path to earning your freedom, gaining power and getting revenge. And most importantly - you could get the answers you have been searching for.”

Shikako knew it would be the worst idea of her life, and yet.

And yet.

There’s a chance it’s not all a lie.

In Konoha, she was alone. She could be alone anywhere else. What difference would it make?

“What’s the price?” she asked, before she could stop herself. Before she could think what asking that question meant.

“We can talk about that if… you have what it takes to survive,” Orochimaru said. Their head dashed forward, neck extending, aimed right at Shikako’s shoulder.

A speeding, howling ball of red energy bounded into the clearing. The corrosive chakra of the Kyuubi hit Shikako at the same time as Orochimaru’s bite.

She still had enough presence of mind to complete her attack. The shadow tendril dashed forward, a sharp, long needle at its tip. Right into Orochimaru’s eye.

She didn’t even get to see if the attack connected, because her system was completely overwhelmed - both by the intrusive chakra of the cursed seal being applied and by the close presence of Naruto, wrapped in a chakra coat of a tail beast.

“Leave Shikako-chan alone, you creep!” Naruto’s distorted voice reached her before she lost the ability to hear and see due to immense pain.

The last sensation that she remembered feeling though blinding pain was Sasuke’s chakra touching her - her other teammate had to have caught her falling, carrying her away from the danger.

…

Later, she would learn that it was Temari who called for backup, and that both of her teammates dropped everything and rushed to her side. It meant that all members of the Sound Four ended up escaping… but they had come for her.

Orochimaru had retreated of their own volition, but Naruto had gone at least one hit in.

Sasuke had protected her.

Shikako wasn’t as alone as she thought.

She had her team.

Thoughts like that made her sick.

...

The two boys remained a constant presence as a mildly worried Kakashi led her though multiple sealing procedures to contain the cursed seal.

The fact that Kakashi himself seemed, for some unfathomable reason, care for her now… stunned her speechless.

It kept her reeling even as she accepted a Chuunin vest from Uchiha Fugaku.

Getting the vest didn’t feel like a step forward it should have been.

Instead, it hung on her like wrapped, unbreakable chains.

Her oath was the lock, holding it all together.

I, Shikako Nara, do hereby swear that to protect my team mates, the clan, those allied with us and Konoha itself, I will become one with the shadows.

Worst of all, she felt like giving in.

The curse seal buzzed at the edge of her awareness.

Everpresent.

Shikako didn’t care for its allure.

Not yet.

Chapter Text

Epilogue

Going Blind

“Please, Shikako. Tell us what happened.” Naruto said, eyes pleading.

Sasuke was standing in her way too, but his hands were open, nonthreatening.

If I asked to… Sasuke might even move out of my way, Shikako reasoned. “The Sound Four were back with another recruitment pitch,” she said instead, “they said the curse seal was killing me.”

She knew the day would come, from the moment Orochimaru’s chakra first entered her system. The seal wasn’t stable. Not yet, if ever.

Kakashi had done all he could, including sending a message to an old acquaintance familiar with Orochimaru’s work - Shikako assumed he’d meant Jiraiya. While Kakashi had never confirmed it, she’d gotten to see the response being delivered by a small toad, roughly a week later.

It didn’t help very much, but the tweak Kakashi added after that delivery made it so it no longer hurt every time she got angry.

Even with Kakashi teaching her what little sealing knowledge he could impart, she just didn’t know enough about the seal to hope to fix it herself any time soon.

With no intervention... death was likely. Shikako knew it.

The choice presented to her had an obvious answer.

Except…

“You… didn’t go with them,” Sasuke said.

It wasn’t a question.

So… Shikako said nothing.

“You can’t die, Shikako!” Naruto protested, focusing on an entirely different thing.

“Shinobi die all the time,” Shikako said, shaking her head. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“You’ve been keeping that seal at bay, the best you can,” Naruto commented, “and Tsunade Baa-chan looked it over - she’s the best medic-nin in the world, right? I’m sure they’re just lying about it being dangerous.”

“I can’t know that.” Shikako shrugged.

The trip to find Tsunade felt like it had been a complete waste of time. Took them a whole lot of time to find her and didn’t give anything useful to go on. Shikako suspected Fugaku was hoping Naruto could convince Tsunade to come back and run the hospital. That didn’t happen either, even if Naruto got a necklace out of it.

Tsunade had told them all to buzz off after Team Seven spent a week shadowing her.

“We need to go and see the Hokage,” Sasuke offered. “My father will help, I promise. We… no... I owe you a blood debt. He’s gonna help, I swear.”

Shikako slumped with her back into the nearest wall. “Your lives are pretty good like this, you don’t need me as a constant sour reminder of my problems. You don’t need my anger. And you certainly don’t need my mistakes dragging you down.”

“Don’t say that.” Naruto was in her face, poking her in the side angrily. “You’re one of the Team Seven, same as we are.”

Shikako sighed.

If she tried to leave, Naruto would definitely try to stop her. Sasuke might be convinced to let her go - but he’d never help her against Naruto… and she wasn’t sure if she could win, especially not if Naruto pulled on the tailed beast’s chakra.

However much she wanted to learn if there was a sliver of truth in all of Orochimaru’s lies… she knew it would be the worst idea in the world.

Naruto grabbed her into a hug.

She… let him.

“You aren’t allowed to die, Shikako,” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke nodded, all serious. As if that was a request that made sense.

She disentangled from the hug slowly. “Fine,” she finally accepted her fate. “Let’s go to the Hokage.”

Naruto pumped his fist upwards in silence, and started leading the way.

Shikako followed her team from a short distance away.

...

The world she lived in was a cruel joke.

Everyone else had gotten a happy ending. Naruto was happy and respected. Sasuke had a living family.

Konoha was at peace. Safe and relatively stable - at least as far as Shikako knew. The civilians were never disturbed by the Uchiha taking power - most of the ninja weren’t even affected that much, either. However... the deepest, darkest secrets Danzo had cultivated in the years leading to the Massacre were removed with all of the roots.

Exposed and condemned.

The Hokage kept talking of the need for Unity. And he actually meant it, in his own, slightly wrapped, elitist way… All while the wounds left by the Massacre were slowly healing.

Still, on most days, the price the Uchiha Massacre demanded from Shikako was entirely too much to bear.

On others…

Shikako looked at the backs of her teammates, dragging her to see the Hokage so she wouldn’t die or defect from Konoha. Like always, she didn’t know what the future would hold for her.

…even this flawed life is worth paying almost any price to protect.

Chapter Text

Bonus

A Clean Break

“You can't do this,” were the first words Shikamaru said to her in at least three months.

He’d arrived to interrupt her in the middle of her shadow jutsu training, in one of the private Nara training grounds.

Shikako didn't even bother to open her eyes. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” she lied.

He connected his shadow to hers, forcing her eyes open.

His shadow was… angry and afraid.

“You can't join the ANBU,” he hissed. “I-”

“Forbid it?” she asked, interrupting, all in a mocking tone. “It's not up to the clan head, and you know that. You're not a Jounin Commander just yet, even if Uchiha Yashiro lets you do his job for him half of the time. And you no longer even outrank me.”

Shikamaru had made Special Jounin on logistics and organizational merits alone, roughly at the same time she'd made Chunnin in her first exam. Now, Shikako was finishing up a three month rotation with the Sensory Squad. The offer to work for them had come with a bump in her rank, to finally match him, so she grabbed it the second she was offered that promotion.

The little awkward promotion celebration dinner with their mother was the last time they talked, and both had tried to be extra polite, for their mother’s sake. Which, of course, meant they hadn’t really talked much of anything past meaningless small talk.

“You-” Shikamaru stopped himself, then sighed and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Can you sense anyone nearby, Kako?”

There was a pause, as Shikako reached out with her senses and shadow both, feeling Shikamaru’s shadow reaching even further than hers did.

“Just you,” she said.

“Help me understand,” he said, exasperated. “Why do you insist on binding yourself even closer to the Hokage? Is it on the off chance one of your missions takes you closer to Itachi?”

Shikako raised one of her hands, tapping at the shoulder where Orochimaru’s seal always buzzed, right at the edge of her senses, even as triple bound as it was. Her missions outside the village were a little limited, because the Hokage believed Orochimaru was still interested in recruiting her, even if she had snubbed him once.

She’d chafed under that restriction.

“It’s because that’s the one path I can get to do actual missions outside the village,” Shikako spelled it out. And it might take me closer to Itachi, she didn't say.

“You should have-”

“If you tell me I should have taken that R&D job you tried to push on me, I will break your arm,” Shikako threatened, unsure herself on how serious the threat actually was. “I can’t be a desk ninja, not like you.”

“It’s given me access,” Shikamaru countered. “Answers.”

“What good does that do to me?” Shikako sighed. “If you never share anything.”

Shikamaru had the gall to look a little guilty.

Shikako was about to press him again, but then her brother started talking anyway.

“It’s because… we were wrong,” he said. “I’ve got a lot more clearance now. I’ve read the classified reports we wanted to see. The originals, not the leaked half-truths. The investigation Inoichi-san led into Shimura’s private force after the massacre. It’s as thorough as it could be. That force was supposed to be disbanded years ago, but Danzo… had a whole subsection of ANBU, loyal to him instead of the Hokage. Against orders.”

Shikako stilled.

“There’s a reintroduction program Yashiro has been running for years. It’s an S-rank secret, only the clan heads get to know about. A lot of these shinobi aren’t very… stable, even years later. They were all coerced into joining, some even kidnapped - he took clan children with bloodlines, including Uchiha, Shikako! While the rest of the village was trying to heal its wounds after the Kyuubi’s attack, Danzo was running his most ambitious recruitment drive, hiding each one in the casualty lists. We got two clan members back in these six years!”

Shikako exhaled heavily. “And?”

“Danzo… broke all his recruits when they were still kids,” Shikamaru said. “His training regime chewed through people, killing far more than the whole Uchiha Massacre. The Uchiha had been a little unruly and planning a coup, yes, but there was a reason for it! He planned to kill them all himself, because it was the Uchiha Police’s job to look into the missing people he abducted! It’s a miracle there’s been so few deaths!”

“So what?” Shikako shook her head. “I don’t care about the Uchiha being right or wrong, I just want… to find Itachi.” It had been a while since she said it out loud. She still wasn’t ready to face him, but she was getting closer and closer, narrowing the gap. She didn’t need to be better than him in everything, just good enough to get a decisive attack in.

She couldn’t lose her determination now.

“Dad gave the order to stand down,” Shikamaru pushed again, tears in his eyes. “Dad wanted peace. He surrendered as soon as he could - I suspect he knew the truth, else he would have wanted to fight! If not for his order, and for Hyuuga mediating the talks after, the civil war would have broken Konoha apart. He knew what he was doing, Kako."

“I don’t care about-” Shikako tried lying, but Shikamaru didn’t let her finish.

“Do your oaths mean anything to you?” Shikamaru pushed. “You swore to protect Konoha itself, same as I did, same as our dad! He wanted Konoha to stay strong. Sure, it’s changed now, but it’s still Konoha!”

“Which is why I’m not even thinking about going after all of the Uchiha,” Shikako said, her shoulders sagging.

Shikamaru said nothing.

She raised her head back. “How long have you known, Shika?” she asked quietly, calmly, but she could taste the anger building up on her tongue, as she came closer and closer to a realization with each subsequent question. “Was it since becoming Chunnin and taking up the full clan-head responsibilities? Or did Inoich tell you on the day you became a genin? Is that why you kept blocking my early graduation?”

“I-” Shikamaru started, but this time Shikako stopped him, because she finally understood just what he had done.

The oath.

“You’re the one who got me on a team with Sasuke, didn’t you?” she all but shouted the accusation, and watched Shikamaru flinch, which was as good as an open admission. “Because of the damned oath! Protect my teammates! So I would drop the Itachi vendetta?”

“It… was a risk,” Shikamaru revealed. “But the Hokage agreed with my reasoning. And… you’re on good terms with your teammates now.”

It was true, Shikako knew. Naruto tended to grow on people he spent time with, like some sort of toxic friendship mold infestation you couldn’t get rid off no matter how hard you tried.

Naruto was also planning to get into ANBU, to let him take missions without becoming the target of all of the Akatsuki, which was where she stole the idea from. She even looked forward to finding out if Sasuke would or wouldn’t follow them on this, however little she wanted to admit it out loud.

Shikamaru waited patiently. Daring to look a little smug, even.

“I still need to find Itachi,” she said.

“Why?” Shikamaru asked, expression turning neutral once again. “Any talk of Fugaku calling him back… isn’t gonna come true. Itachi left of his own volition, last I’ve heard, and he’s never gonna return. But he’s still the deadliest ninja of the generation, he’s not just gonna give up just because you find him. If you try to kill him and fail… I can’t lose a sister to Itachi, too."

“Orochimaru said,” Shikako started, and felt a shift in Shikamaru’s stance. “That there’s an echo of dad in Itachi’s shadow. I… need to see it for myself.”

“And you believed them?” Shikamaru asked incredulously, but something did light up in his eyes.

“I believe it warrants an investigation, at least,” Shikako said. “And if Itachi happens to break his neck while I investigate, I’ll be much happier about it! It’s not like you’re not planning anything yourself, I know you still are!”

They glared at each other.

Shikako waited for Shikamaru to storm off, or throw an insult. Anything, to set them back miles, like it always happened. It was a known song-and-dance, an old routine so familiar and re-threaded it hurt.

Shikmaru did none off the usual things.

Instead, he took yet another deep breath.

The echo in the shadows turned… much calmer.

“We… should spar,” Shikamaru suggested suddenly. As if that was why he sought her out. “It’s been years since we did it last.”

It was true. They hadn’t really sparred ever since they started fighting with words, and truly hurting each other.

Shikako grimaced a little, but the idea burrowed deep into her mind. Maybe it was a good way to… reach some sort of understanding. It was something they never tried.

A reaching out hand.

“If you win, I’ll stop pestering you about the ANBU. If I win, you don’t join them for at least a couple of years,” Shikamaru added a wager to the offer.

It was tempting.

Shikako knew she could just say no. But… if Shikamaru was trying… maybe she could too.

“All that, but if I win, you stop blocking my career, and never again suggest a desk ninja job,” Shikako presented her counter offer. “Deal?”

It wasn’t the best idea.

They did it anyway.

It was a very annoying fight.

She was better at fights. More experience in the field, more time spent walking the knife’s edge. Shikamaru was… much more clever. Scarily smart, when he tried to be. His shadow jutsu work was incredible, too.

She learned a lot.

Taught him a few tricks, too.

At the end of the fight Shikako ended up breaking Shikamaru’s hand after all. It wasn’t on purpose exactly, but it was also a risky way to steal a victory at the last second... and it paid off.

It was nothing a medic-nin couldn’t set back together, anyway.

Some things could be healed, after all.

Maybe, one day, that could happen to their relationship, too.

Shikako had always wanted her brother back.