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Chapter Text

Tim readjusted his fake boobs for the fourth time that night. They didn’t seem to want to stay in the right place, and were bigger than he’d expected when Alfred told him he’d be going undercover as a woman. Tim’s mind flickered back to that conversation.

“Why do I have to go undercover as a girl though? There are plenty of male nursing students, I don’t see the point in spending all this extra time on something so unnecessary.”

“Master Tim, may I remind you that it was you that said you need more practice with disguises. You need to step out of your comfort zone a little, and besides,” Alfred glued a fake eyelash to Tim’s eyelid, “you look very pretty.”

Tim huffed and rolled his eyes at the time, but looking in the bathroom mirror at the hospital now, Tim had to admit Alfred was right. A strand of silky straight black hair fell in front of his eyes and he pushed it behind his ear. The rest of his hair just brushed his shoulders and curled up slightly at the ends. It was a good wig, anyone would believe it were real. A hint of brown eyeliner — courtesy of Steph — and the long eyelashes gave him a doe-eyed look, and the shiny lip gloss accentuated his natural Cupid’s bow. The medical scrubs were loose enough to be comfortable, but hugged his padded curves in just the right way. A thin white turtleneck underneath hid his Adam’s apple.

He was gorgeous, and it was no wonder two people had already hit on him on the way to the bathroom. He might’ve even been tempted to ask himself out, if he wasn’t, y’know, himself.

The Metropolis General Hospital was bigger than Gotham General, and after exiting the bathroom, Tim found himself having to stop to look at a map on the wall to locate the morgue.

A man involved with the Falcone crime family had died in Metropolis after using a new drug that had been rising in popularity in Gotham. Nobody had been able to get their hands on a sample yet, though, so Tim had to get a tissue sample from the body to analyse back at the cave.

He was glad it wasn’t a time-sensitive operation, or he would feel worse about not having bothered to memorise the layout of the hospital first.

He finally located the morgue on the map and was turning to walk off in that direction when a voice called out to him.

“Miss! Wait!”

Tim did not wait, he didn’t have the energy to turn down another offer to grab a drink. He continued walking as if he hadn’t heard whoever was talking to him. He felt a hand close around his wrist and his body spun towards his assailant. Tim prepared himself to sharply elbow the ribs of whatever handsy person was after him now.

He stopped, however, when he came face to face with his best friend. Tim gaped, a stray strand of hair sticking to his lip gloss.

He pulled the hair delicately from his mouth as he found his words. “Superboy? What are you doing here?”

Kon was gaping right back at him, but Tim was pretty sure it wasn’t because he had recognised Tim.

“Woah. Are you, like, a model?” Kon looked him up and down, taking in the scrubs. “Wait, never mind, you clearly work here, but you could totally be like, a supermodel.”

“I-uh-thanks?” Tim stammered out. He regained his composure, “Did you want something?” Tim stepped back slightly as Kon finally dropped his wrist. He wondered whether Kon secretly did recognise him and was just pranking him, but the genuine awe on Kon’s face and his notoriously terrible lying skills led Tim to believe that he was being serious.

Kon cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, I dropped a kid off here earlier and was just wanting to check how she’s doing.”

Tim panicked. Just a little. But he came up with an excuse easily enough. “I’m just an intern here so I don’t have access to that kind of information, but you could try asking someone else and they might be able to help you.”

“Oh, okay.” Kon looked visibly disappointed at this. His shoulders drooped and he began to fiddle with his hands. Then he perked up slightly,
“Would you maybe like to grab a cup of coffee with me? If you’re busy or something, though, that’s fine, or we can do it another time if you’d prefer…” he trailed off.

Tim opened his mouth to decline the offer, already thinking of excuses, but he made the fatal mistake of meeting Kon’s eyes.

He was blinking down at Tim with the most adorable, hopeful look in his eyes Tim had ever seen. He looked like a child showing his parents a drawing he’d done with the hope of it being hung on the fridge, or a baby animal stuck in a tree awaiting rescue.

It reminded Tim of a time Kon had begged the team to get ice cream after a mission, even though Batman was waiting for a mission report. The entire team had given in the second Kon flashed those puppy dog eyes.

“Sure, I can take a break now.” Tim briefly wondered if one of Kon’s superpowers was hypnotism. Tim wanted to brutally smack his own head against the wall. Curse those baby blues.

Kon lit up like Tim had just told him he found a cure for cancer. His eyes snapped back onto Tim’s face and a grin spread across his face.

Tim held back a sigh as he led Kon to the hospital cafeteria down the hall.

“So, uh, what’s your name?” Kon practically bounced alongside Tim as they reached the coffee machine.

“Caroline Hill. And, um, is there anything I can call you apart from Superboy?”

“Nice to meet you Caroline, you can call me Kon,” Kon smiled shyly and gave a small wink, and Tim once again wanted to bang his head against the wall, for a slightly different reason this time. How was the boy allowed to be this adorable? It should be illegal. Maybe Tim could get Dick to arrest Kon for it.

“So, are you a nurse here then?”

Tim could tell Kon was asking because he was trying to figure out how old he was. He smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “Nursing student, actually. I’m just interning here, picking up some experience.”

“Oh, that’s really cool!” Kon was clearly pleased with Tim’s answer.

“So, Kon, tell me about this kid you helped.”

Kon leapt into a tale about a bank robbery and the brave little girl who’d shouted for Superboy. Luckily, Kon was nearby and heard the shout, he made it into the bank in time to save everyone, but not in time to stop the girl’s arm from being grazed by a bullet. The hospital staff said she’d be fine, but Kon had wanted to make sure.

Tim found it endearing and, yet again, adorable (the word was beginning to lose all meaning) that Kon had taken the time to check up on the kid, even after being told she’d be okay.

The conversation flowed much easier than Tim had expected, taking them across a variety of topics. Time seemed to stop just for them, and Tim almost forgot he was meant to be on a mission. It felt less like he was talking to Superboy pretending to be a civilian, and more like he was talking to his best friend and teammate. Tim wondered if this is what it would be like if they were actually dating.

“Oh my god, no way you’re a Wendy the Werewolf Stalker fan too!” Kon grinned at Tim, a sparkle in his eyes.

“Of course, it’s like, my favourite show ever!” Tim grinned right back. He looked down to see Kon’s thumb tracing circles over the back of his hand. He suddenly became aware of how close their faces were. Tim started to feel guilty for letting Kon believe there was a chance this could work. He pulled back and moved to stand up. “I’m sorry, I should really get back to my shift now.”

The smile was wiped off of Kon’s face, but the twinkle remained in his eyes. “Okay, I guess I’ve taken enough of your time for today.” He winked at Tim before grabbing a napkin and scribbling down something with a pen from his pocket. “Here, it’s my number. Text me, okay?”

Tim was once again rendered speechless, but took the napkin with a nod before hurrying away. He snuck one last glance over his shoulder to see Kon watching him leave. He smiled a little at the boy, shaking his head as he continued walking away.

Tim turned back around and immediately walked straight into a wall. He really hoped Kon didn’t see that. He made it to the morgue and collected the tissue sample successfully, though he couldn’t get the image of Kon smiling at him out of his mind.

He had a problem now. A big one. Tim couldn’t go on another date with Kon, he couldn’t lead him on like that. But it would feel cruel to ghost him, and damn it, Tim wanted to see Kon again.

Tim was screwed. And not in the fun way.

Chapter Text

Tim typed furiously on his computer as he avoided the conversation Kon, Cassie, and Bart were having.

“She’s so cool guys! And she’s like, the hottest person I’ve ever seen! And she’s a Wendy the Werewolf Stalker fan! And did I mention how hot she is because her eyes are just-” Kon continued to gush about Caroline, for the fourth time since he’d met her yesterday. He’d become insufferable, talking to anyone and everyone who listened (and even those who didn’t) about the girl he was convinced was the love of his life. His eyes would frequently glaze over during these conversations and he’d get a dopey look on his face. The boy was completely infatuated, which only made Tim feel more guilty about his plan to ghost him.

Cassie sat cross legged on the couch with her head back against the wall and rolled her eyes. Bart was lying on the floor, tossing popcorn in the air and catching it in his mouth.

“Hey Rob, you haven’t said much about Caroline, what do you think of her? You think Kon found the love of his life?”

Tim froze at Bart’s words and stopped typing for a second. “Uhm…” A brilliant plan began to form in Tim’s head. “I actually went to middle school with her, she was a total asshole.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could second guess his supposedly brilliant plan. But surely making Kon hate Caroline is better than being ghosted by her, right?

Cassie snorted. The popcorn Bart had thrown landed forgotten on the floor next to him as he sat straight up, all attention on Tim.

Kon’s face fell, a kicked puppy would’ve looked less sad. “Really? But she seemed so nice… what did she do?”

“She… uh… bullied…” The look on Kon’s face was making Tim’s brain work as effectively as a wet paper bag. “The drama kids! She bullied the drama kids, like, a lot.”

“Ohmygod, Rob was a drama kid? This is amazing.” Bart snickered.

“I was not a drama kid! I just helped out with the tech sometimes! And that’s not the point!” Tim’s ears turned pink.

Kon cut in, “So what did she do to these drama kids?”

“She uh, called them names, and stuff.”

“Okay, but to be fair who doesn’t bully the drama kids.” Bart caught another piece of popcorn in his mouth.

“Maybe she’s different now, I mean that was back in middle school, she certainly didn’t seem like the type to do that anymore.” Kon was relaxing a little, the soul-crushed look leaving his face.

“Maybe.” Tim muttered, returning to his computer.

***

Days passed, and then a week. Kon’s feelings did not pass. He only grew sadder, retreating to his room with a family-sized tub of ice cream after each mission. He’d leap towards his phone anytime he got a notification. He punched harder than normal, and Tim and the rest of the team walked in on him asking a thug who he’d restrained for dating advice. It was just sad, and it was damaging the team’s morale.

It was one night after a long mission that made Tim finally decide he needed to do something. Muffled sobs were echoing through the wall as Tim was trying to sleep. He’d barely slept the night before and desperately needed the rest. He couldn’t go on like this any longer, watching Kon mope around, so he got out of bed with a deep sigh.

He left his room and walked down the hall to Bart’s room. He knocked, and a minute later Bart opened the door, rubbing his eyes. “Wha’ d’you want?” he yawned.

Tim pushed past him and dragged Bart back into the room by the wrist, eliciting a yelp. He sat on Bart’s bed and tried to find the words. He decided there was no easy way to say it, so he let the words tumble out, “I’m Caroline Hill.”

Bart’s eyes flicked to Tim’s face, wide awake now. “What? Is this a dream? This is totally a dream, right?”

“Unfortunately no, I had to go undercover at the hospital to get a tissue sample, it was meant to be really simple, I’d get in and get out, but then Kon saw me and started talking to me and then he asked me to grab a cup of coffee and I meant to say no but he was looking at me like he did that time he convinced us all to get ice cream-“ Bart nodded knowingly, “and then he gave me his number and I don’t know what to do now because he’s so sad and I was planning to ghost him but…” Bart was doubled over with laughter now. “Hey! This is serious! I don’t know what to do, Bart!” Tim whined.

“Okay, okay, clearly ghosting him isn’t working… oh that’s why you said she was a bully, to make him hate her! That was a good plan, honestly. Um, what if you just text him back and actually meet up with him? You could tell him the truth, he’s totally got a crush on you as Robin anyway so he’ll probably think it’s totally crash that his two crushes are the same person.” Bart winked.

“He does not! He’s straight anyway, he definitely only likes Caroline because he thinks she’s a girl. And meeting up with him as Caroline would only make him fall more in love with her.”

“Have you heard the way he talks about Aragorn from Lord of the Rings? That boy is not straight.”

“Okay, but who doesn’t find Aragorn attractive.” Tim scoffed.

“Fair point, but I’ve never heard anyone talk about him in so much detail.” Bart shivered, a haunted look in his eyes.

Tim tried not to think about the implications of that. “Fine, let’s say he’s not straight, that doesn’t mean that he’s into me. And what if he’s mad I didn’t tell him right away?”

“Fine, we won’t tell him you’re Caroline, but he still needs closure. Text him and meet him somewhere as Caroline, and give him a reason in person why you can’t date. Simple.”

“… Okay that doesn’t sound too bad, I guess I can do that.” Tim exhaled.

“Getting broken up with in person hurts way less than being ghosted, don’t stress Rob. Now go text your boyfriend!”

Tim’s cheeks burned. “He’s not my- whatever. Bye.” Tim left the room in a hurry. That night, he was finally able to get some sleep.

***

The day came for Tim to meet up with Kon as Caroline again. It was a cool, autumnal day so he pulled on a light blue sweater and brown jeans. He tied the wig back in a loose ponytail, leaving some hair out in the front. He applied the makeup himself that day, not eager to explain to Alfred or Steph why he was dressing as Caroline Hill again.

They had arranged to meet in a small, cosy cafe in Metropolis. Tim arrived early, so he could think through what he was going to say. He sat at a small table and waited, leg bouncing nervously. Everything sounded too harsh, or like a lame excuse. Eventually he decided to just say he was too busy with school and work and wouldn’t be able to give Kon the attention he deserved. It was lame, but would hopefully suffice.

Kon walked in soon after, and his face lit up when he spotted Tim. And once again, his eyes took on the same awe-struck look as when he first saw Caroline.

“You look gorgeous.”

Tim spluttered awkwardly before responding. “Thanks. Um, it’s nice to see you again.”

Kon flashed him a smile. “You too, Caroline. How have you been?”

They settled into another conversation, speaking like old friends as they did the last time. Tim meant to appear more off-putting this time, and maybe be less talkative. He failed miserably. Why did Kon have to be so much fun to talk to?

Tim found himself smiling as Kon dives into passionate rants about various subjects, and responding in kind with his own opinions. Tim couldn’t help that Kon was so easy to talk to, and he certainly couldn’t help how handsome Kon looks when talking about his favourite Mario Kart track.

Oh god. Tim had a crush on Kon.

Oh god. Tim was on a date with Kon and Kon didn’t even know it.

That made Tim a bad person, right? He tricked his best friend into going on a date with him.

This was going to end one of two ways: they would laugh about it and forget the whole thing happened, or Kon would be mad at Tim for not telling him sooner and it would be super awkward between them forever.

Something deeply selfish in Tim made him ignore this, just for a little longer. This was his one chance to go on a date with Kon, regardless of what Bart thought. He might as well enjoy it, right? He was already in deep shit anyway, how much deeper could it get.

Tim was jolted from his internal battle by Kon pausing his passionate rant about how mint chocolate chip is the worst flavour of ice cream, a position Tim vehemently disagreed with, and told Kon as much, receiving a heart broken, pitying look in response.

Kon paused now however, and seemed to be listening out for something.

“Is something wrong?” Tim asked.

Kon snapped his attention back to Tim, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I’m afraid I have to go, someone’s calling for me. But it was really great seeing you again, maybe I can take you out again soon? We could get ice cream, you can try to convince me that mint chocolate chip doesn’t taste like toothpaste.” He rolled his eyes at the last part.

Now was Tim’s chance to turn down the invitation, tell him he’s too busy, or they’re better off as friends, or just anything. Tim, however, was too focused on the singular curl perfectly brushing Kon’s forehead and how much he wanted to reach out and tuck it back behind Kon’s ear. “Uhm, yeah.” He finally said, intelligently.

Kon’s face lit up. “Great! Bye, Caroline!” He left the shop before Tim could correct himself. Tim pressed his forehead into the table and groaned.

He had one job.

One. Job.

Bart was going to be so mad.