Chapter Text
Mike Wheeler, at thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, or, hell, even sixteen years old - only last year - would never have imagined he'd tell a single soul that he was gay. He hadn't even told himself until a few months ago. In fact, he had stood in front of the bathroom mirror and mouthed the words: "I'm gay" to his reflection, choking down tears and unable to hide the expression of disgust painting his face. It wasn't that he hadn't known before then; no, he'd always known. At least he had known deep down. But knowing is one thing. Admitting? Well, that's something else entirely.
And now, even with self-hatred pressing into him and shame burning in the back of his eyes, he couldn't keep it to himself any longer - he just couldn't. So, here he was, lounging in his basement as usual, with Dustin and Lucas. Nothing out of the ordinary. The two of them were sat next to each other on the worn and lumpy and no longer so comfortable couch, bickering about something. Also not out of the ordinary. But Mike, who was sitting on the chair beside them, wasn't paying attention, not at all. Their voices were like static to him, white noise, that he wished he could turn off, all he could focus on being his own racing thoughts.
He was broken out of his honestly-not-that-comfortable silence by Dustin asking him, "Isn't that right, Mike?"
Mike snapped out of it, feeling dazed. "Huh?" He blinked away his confusion, trying to somehow recall any of what the other two boys had been talking about for the past hour.
Lucas scoffed. "Not even paying attention," he said with a roll of his eyes.
"Typical," Dustin added.
Mike put his hands up defensively. "Didn't seem like you guys needed my input!"
Dustin feigned hurt. "Do you not care about us, Mike?" he asked somberly, placing a hand over his heart.
Mike turned up his nose at Dustin's dramatics. "You're annoying, you know that?"
Dustin grinned, looking pleased with himself. "Yup."
"What do you even think about, man?" Lucas asked. "When you zone out like that?"
Mike shrugged, feeling his face go a bit pale at having been caught. "Nothing."
"I can actually believe that," Dustin said, and Lucas hit him on the arm.
"No, seriously," he pestered. "You've been quiet lately."
Now, all three of them were quiet: Lucas and Dustin waiting for Mike to respond, and Mike waiting for the two of them to give up on asking him these invasive questions.
"I..." Mike trailed off. "I didn't know I was being quiet." That statement, weirdly enough, reminded him of something Will would say.
Dustin and Lucas exchanged a look that Mike couldn't decipher. Which, in turn, made his ears begin to heat up in irritation.
"Listen, I don't want to press," Lucas said, "but does this have something to do with Will?"
Mike felt his blood run cold. "What?" he stammered, feeling like he was sitting beside two mind-readers.
Dustin spoke before Mike could even finish his thought. "Yeah, you've been less... Mike since he joined Art Club or whatever."
Despite not wanting to agree with him, Dustin was right: Mike had been "less Mike" - whatever that meant - since Will had ditched their Friday boys' nights for Art Club. Now, it was just the three of them: Mike, Lucas, and Dustin hanging out in Mike's basement. And Lucas and Dustin seemed to converse just fine without Mike butting in. He missed having Will there. Having someone to talk to. Having Will to talk to.
Mike shook his head, blinking hard. "'Less Mike'?" he echoed, that being all he could come up with as a response.
Dustin shrugged. "You know what I mean."
"Do I?"
Lucas cut them both off before it could spiral into an argument. "What we're saying," he started, shooting Dustin an annoyed look, "is that whenever Will's not around, you don't really seem that interested anymore."
Mike wiped his clammy palms on his thighs, feeling strangely cornered. "I am interested," was all he could manage in response.
Again, Dustin and Lucas looked at each other meaningfully, and, again, Mike couldn't decipher what their expressions implied.
"C'mon, man," Lucas said. "Talk to us."
Mike swallowed hard, looking down at his hands. For weeks now, he'd been swallowing the desire to tell somebody - anybody - close to him that he was gay. That he was in love with his best friend. Will. The secret had been growing harder and harder to keep to himself. And even though he was beyond terrified, he knew, deep down, that keeping this to himself forever would kill him. It would. And now, at this point in his life, he finally, really - badly - wanted to live.
He swallowed again, trying to get the taste of shame out of his mouth. "What are you guys getting at?" he asked, internally kicking himself for avoiding their questions. Why couldn't he just man up and give them an answer?
"Nothing!" Lucas said defensively.
"We just wanna make sure you know we care about you," said Dustin.
Mike shifted in his seat, his discomfort only intensifying. "This sounds like an intervention."
Dustin shrugged. "Maybe it is. Against your addiction to secret-keeping."
Lucas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no pressure," he said sarcastically.
Mike felt his body become restless at the mention of "secrets". What did Lucas and Dustin know? "I just..." he trailed off, bouncing his knee anxiously. "I mean, I trust you guys, of course I do, but there are some things bigger than, I don't know... bigger than what we usually talk about. I guess."
Real eloquent.
"Bigger than fighting literal monsters?" Dustin asked.
Mike shrugged in response. "Yeah," he said softly. He knew he was being dramatic - or, at least, to his friends, he was - but he couldn't help himself. This moment felt just as scary as fighting monsters to him. Maybe scarier, if he was being truthful. Which he wasn't. Not exactly. Not yet.
"Damn," said Lucas severely.
"You can tell us," Dustin insisted. "Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure we can take it."
It was silent for a moment before Lucas added, "You know we love you, man."
Dustin nodded in agreement. Both boys wore such serious expressions on their faces that it nearly scared Mike away. Just nearly. But it was the affirmation of the seriousness of their friendship that gave Mike the push he so desperately needed and half-desired. This was it. He could do this.
"I do have something I haven't really been telling you guys about," he finally brought himself to say, though his voice came out hoarse and croaky due to the tightening in his throat.
Dustin and Lucas looked at each other anxiously. "Go on," they said in unison, leaning forward with their elbows on their knees.
Mike took a deep breath, steadying himself. He breathed out. He wasn't ready yet. He needed more momentum before getting to... the big thing. "It's serious," he continued. "And it stays between us. Alright?" He couldn't help his voice from wavering.
Mike expected Dustin and Lucas to act irritated or maybe impatient with his dramatics but, to his surprise, they were equally as stoic, sitting on the edge of their seats. They only nodded in response.
"Swear it," said Mike.
Dustin put his right hand up. "I swear."
Lucas followed suit. "I swear."
Mike took a moment before speaking again. "I'm-" he began. To his frustration, the words wouldn't come out right away. "I'm..." he continued. "I'm not like you," was all he could say.
Dustin seemed amused now, raising an eyebrow and leaning back a bit. "In what way?"
Lucas hit Dustin's shoulder absentmindedly. "Give him a minute," he whispered without taking his eyes off of Mike.
Mike swallowed the sob rising in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to Dustin's lighthearted demeanor. Tears pricked his eyes and he blinked rapidly, willing with everything in them that they'd somehow evaporate before getting the chance to fall down his face. He steadied himself with a shaky breath before continuing. "Do you guys remember when El and I broke up?"
"Uh, no duh," said Dustin. Lucas hit his shoulder again.
"And how I didn't get upset or really talk to anyone about it?" Mike asked.
The two other boys nodded.
"I never told you why. Why we broke up."
"No," said Lucas, an unreadable expression on his face, "no, you didn't."
"I wasn't really... sad," Mike continued with much effort. "I mean, we told everybody it was mutual, and- and it was, but... we didn't... 'fall out of love', or whatever bullshit I said." He paused, swallowing hard. "I only really saw her as a friend, I think. A good one."
There was no shock or surprise Mike could detect on Lucas and Dustin's faces. Only quiet anticipation.
"I don't love El like that. In a... romantic way. Never did, I don't think. I couldn't if I wanted to. And I wanted to," Mike said, staring down at his socks. "I couldn't love any girl like that..." He paused again, this time, longer and more tearfully. "I'm gay," he finally choked out, his voice betraying him and cracking pitifully at the last word.
The silence that followed was suffocating. Every passing millisecond felt like a torturous eternity, Mike's mind racing with the possibilities of how his friends could react. He knew they weren't homophobic - at least not outwardly. They never partook in the homophobic bullying their classmates did. They would even defend Will when he was the target. And both of them - especially Dustin - were close with Robin, who was out as a lesbian and literally dating a girl. But, in that moment of overwhelming silence, none of that made any difference in Mike's mind. He was nearly paralyzed with fear. When he, after what felt like hours, finally found the courage to look up from his feet, he saw that Lucas and Dustin had pleased expressions on their faces - not at all the disgust and hatred he was fearing and half-anticipating.
"Thanks for telling us, dude," said Dustin in a gentle voice when Mike met his gaze.
"Yeah," Lucas added, matching Dustin's tone. "Proud of you, man."
Mike's intense relief was only just barely outweighed by his bewilderment at their immediate acceptance and lack of questions. "What?" he sputtered.
"We support you," Dustin said simply, Lucas nodding in agreement beside him.
Mike looked between the other two boys in utter confusion. "That's all?"
"Um..." Dustin said. "To be honest, we kind of already guessed it. Or- hypothesized it, really."
Mike paused again, suddenly feeling like the all air had been knocked out of him with a hard and fast punch to the gut. "What? How...?"
Lucas put a hand up, cutting Dustin off from answering and making things any worse. "Because you're our friend," he said. "We know you, man. That's how."
"Okay..." Mike said quietly, his head reeling.
"And," Lucas continued, "you being gay doesn't change that. We love you."
"Yeah," Dustin echoed.
Mike tried not to flinch at the word 'gay'. All he could do was nod solemnly, the lump in his throat growing. Silence fell among the three of them again. Mike hung his head down in between his knees, feeling lightheaded.
"Hey, it's okay," Lucas said.
"Yeah, c'mon, dude."
Mike couldn't bring himself to respond. His head was spinning and stomach was churning and he was overwhelmed with a sensation of extreme nausea, like he could faint and throw up all at once. "I-" he started, but he choked before he could finish his sentence. Tears began pouring from his eyes with him only hardly noticing.
Dustin and Lucas looked at each other in mild horror, visibly shocked at Mike's tears. The last time they'd seen him cry was the night they witnessed Will's "body" being discovered all those years ago. And, even then, he'd biked off into the darkness of the night before they could get a word out to comfort him. After a brief moment of utter bewilderment, they sprung forward towards Mike, hesitantly putting a reassuring hand each on his shoulders. He shrugged them off, humiliated at needing comfort at all.
"I'm fine," he muttered, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow.
Dustin and Lucas backed away into their seats wordlessly.
After a minute or so of more awkward silence, Mike finally regained his composure - although his eyes were glossy, his face was covered in splotches of pink, and his cheeks were tear-stained. "You guys really don't... care?" he finally brought himself to ask.
"That you're gay?" Dustin said.
After a second of consideration, Mike nodded. No use in denying it any longer. Now, it was out in the open. Finally.
"It doesn't change anything," said Lucas.
"Agreed." Dustin paused momentarily, clearing his throat. Really, you finally confessing only confirms a few suspicions I've already had."
For the millionth time that evening, Lucas shot him a look that screamed: "shut the hell up!"
"What do you mean?" Mike stuttered, his voice low.
"I mean," Dustin said emphatically, "your whole thing with Will."
Mike froze. "...Will?"
"Yup."
Lucas sighed, dragging a hand over his face as though he were exhausted. "One thing at a time," he said to Dustin. "Let's talk about the whole Will thing later. Okay?"
"I think we should talk about the whole Will thing now," Dustin retorted snarkily.
"'Will thing'?" Mike repeated, dazed.
What the hell did that mean? There was no way Dustin and Lucas knew how Mike felt about Will, right? It wasn't like he was obvious. ...Right? Okay, maybe he was, a little bit. Sure, he was protective of Will - some might even say overprotective - but that didn't go beyond the real of best friends-isms, did it? And, yes, Mike couldn't help but steal glances at Will whenever he got the chance. More like long looks of yearning, not glances, but, still. That could be passed off as him rightfully worrying about Will. And anyway, Mike himself hadn't even put the pieces together and realized his feelings for Will were way more than strictly platonic until recently. There was no way Dustin and Lucas knew. No way.
As Mike spiraled in his head, Lucas and Dustin continued bickering. "He's had enough confessing for one day, Dustin, I think he's done," Lucas said.
"Guys," Mike said quietly, sick of hearing their voices. Then, when their arguing continued, he repeated a little louder: "Guys!"
The two other boys stopped and looked at him.
"What the hell's the 'whole Will thing'?" finally asked.
There was a long pause.
"Um... just your whole, like... thing with Will, I don't know," Lucas answered awkwardly.
"The 'whole Will thing' is your obvious crush on Will," Dustin cut in, putting it so bluntly that it startled all three of them.
Mike felt his cheeks burning at the word. "Crush?"
"Oh God," Lucas groaned, putting his head in his hands.
"Crush..." Mike repeated as though in a daze. Then, a little panicked: "Obvious?"
"Super," Dustin confirmed.
"To us!" Lucas added before Mike could spiral into panic any further. "To us."
"Because you know me," Mike finished for him.
"You got it."
"So we're right then?" Dustin asked. "You have a massive, huge, **scarily intense** crush on Will?"
Well, if Mike had revealed one secret today, he might as well reveal them all. He was sick of living in shame, alone and isolated and afraid. Of course he liked Will. How couldn't he? And how could he hide it? Well, the truth was, he couldn't. Mike breathed out a quick burst of air, feeling his chest collapse in. "I wouldn't say scarily intense," he muttered.
Dustin and Lucas looked at each other, eyes wide and mouths agape dumbly.
"Shut up!" Lucas exclaimed in disbelief.
Dustin looked very pleased with himself. "My 20 dollars, please," he said to Lucas, who went on to fish out the cash from his jeans pocket, handing it to Dustin with a defeated expression on his face.
"Um, what?" Mike questioned, the bizarreness of the situation relieving him of a bit of the anxiety he'd been overcome by for the past twenty minutes.
"I bet Lucas that you would admit to your massive, huge, and, - yes -, **scarily intense** crush on Will," Dustin said.
Lucas looked miffed. "And I bet you wouldn't."
"You guys bet on that?" Mike asked incredulously, feeling quite irritated.
The boys shrugged.
"Screw you!" he said, but he wasn't really too angry. "How the hell did you even guess in the first place? And don't say because you know me."
"For starters, we're not stupid, Mike," Lucas said bluntly.
"Or blind," Dustin added, and Lucas nodded in agreement.
"That's not an answer," Mike huffed.
"Alright, alright," said Dustin. He contemplated for a moment before continuing. "Do you remember when we were kids, and you and Will were always holding hands?"
Mike felt his ears begin to burn. He didn't answer. He couldn't bring himself to.
Lucas grinned. "Oh, and remember when Miss Harrison made you guys switch seats for talking too much during class, and then you **cried**?" he added.
Dustin's own smile grew. "Oh my God, and remember when you insisted that you were gonna marry him someday? Even though everyone told you you couldn't?"
"I wanted to be your best man," Lucas laughed.
"Yup," said Dustin, "and I was gonna be Will's."
"Oh, and when you used to kiss each other on the cheek like it was normal friend stuff-"
"Ughhh, just shut up!" Mike said, hiding his beet-red face in his hands like an embarrassed middle school girl being teased about her school crush.
Dustin and Lucas immediately quieted down before snickering at his uncharacteristic bashfulness.
"Jeez, Mike," Dustin said, amused, "I've never seen you be so... shy."
"Be quiet," said Mike, his voice muffled.
Dustin mimed zipping his lips and throwing away the key. Mike chose to ignore his childish antics.
"I didn't even know I liked him like... that until we were fourteen," he frowned, finally uncovering his face from his hands. "You're telling me you guys knew since elementary school?"
"I wouldn't say that," Lucas replied. "More like, we noticed all that weird stuff and it just sort of clicked after a while."
"Yeah. I think I really figured it out a few years ago," said Dustin.
"Jesus," Mike said breathily, leaning back in his seat and staring up at the basement ceiling.
It was quiet for a few minutes, all of them digesting the conversation.
Of course, Dustin was the one to break the silence. "And, you know, back to our main point... you have been all mopey since Will joined Art Club," he said.
Mike sat up straight, offended. "'Mopey'? I'm not mopey."
"Are too," Dustin said.
"Am not!"
"Are - freaking - too!"
"Come on, Dustin, quit it," Lucas said.
Dustin threw his hands up defensively.
"Hangouts are just boring without him," Mike said honestly.
Dustin clutched his heart. "Ouch."
"You're bored?" Lucas deadpanned.
"Not right now," Mike admitted sheepishly.
"Yeah, 'cause we're talking about your boyfriend," Dustin said, rolling his eyes.
Mike's eyes widened, his cheeks burning. "He's not my boyfriend," he said emphatically.
Just the thought alone might be enough to kill him. Will being his boyfriend. Will snuggling up to him under the blankets as they watched The Thing for the 50th time. Walking Will home the morning after yet another sleepover. Holding hands under the dinner table. Biking to school together. Sitting close enough to Will to kiss him. Kissing Will...
Mike could feel himself blush even more, and he shook his head furiously as if to clear the fantasy from his head. No. No way. Will wasn't his boyfriend.
"Why not?" Dustin retorted. "You both clearly like each other."
Mike's brain short circuited as he processed the meaning of what Dustin just said. "Both...?" he trailed off. Then: "Will likes me?"
Dustin and Lucas both looked at him like he'd lost his damn mind. "Uh, duh!" they exclaimed in unison.
Mike was starting to get annoyed at how close these two had become.
"How... how do you know?" he asked suspiciously, trying - and failing - to slow the beating of his heart.
"We're not stupid," said Lucas.
"Or blind," Dustin added.
"Yeah, I got that," Mike said absentmindedly. "But did he... tell you, or anything?"
"No," Lucas scoffed. "Will doesn't tell anyone anything."
Dustin nodded in agreement.
"That's not true," Mike said softly, crossing his arms in defiance. He sniffed in, shaking his head with finality. "If he didn't tell you himself, then I'm not taking your word for it."
Dustin and Lucas both groaned loudly, collapsing back into their seats.
"You're hopeless, man, you know that?" Lucas said.
"And a fucking idiot," Dustin added.
"Fuck you!" said Mike.
"Hey," Lucas said, "we're trying to help you out here."
"Yeah right-"
"Wait, guys, shut up. I just had a brilliant idea," Dustin cut in. Mike groaned while Dustin paused for dramatic effect. "Let us be your wingmen," he finished with bravado.
"What?" Mike exclaimed. "Hell no!"
"Hell yes!" Lucas corrected. "Come on, we're both in successful relationships."
"One far more superior than the other," Dustin cut in, and Lucas shot him an irritated look. "But, yes, both of us do happen to be very happily taken."
Mike shook his head. "No. No fucking way."
"Your loss," Lucas said. "Guess you're gonna be single forever."
"Yup," Dustin nodded.
"Okay, okay," Mike relented. "No wingman-ing. Just..." He trailed off, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "You really think Will likes me?" He was so embarrassed by his own vulnerability that he felt almost queasy.
"Yes!" Dustin and Lucas basically shouted in response.
"Jesus, okay," Mike said, unable to contain the bashful smile growing on his lips.
"Dude, for the sake of my sanity, please just confess to him already," Dustin said.
"For the sake of my sanity, too," Lucas added. "And probably your own."
"Definitely your own," Dustin added.
Mike could only shake his head, dazed, in response.
"You're breaking his heart, Mike," Lucas said, a sudden tone of seriousness in his voice that none of them were quite used to.
Mike went still. Could Will really feel that way about him? "No," he said quietly.
"For sure," said Dustin.
"What do you guys know?" Mike said, but he could feel the pit in his stomach growing.
"If you could see the way he looks at you, you'd know too," Lucas said.
Mike bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at the floor again. "Yeah?"
Lucas's tone softened. "Yeah, dude."
Mike suddenly shook his head, coming back to his senses. He sniffed. "You guys just don't get it. If you're wrong and I confess, it could ruin everything. I mean, what if he doesn't even like guys? What if he likes someone else? A girl?" He paused briefly, his mind racing with the possibilities. "What if-?"
Lucas cut him off. "No fucking way."
"A girl? Really?" Dustin questioned. "Are we still talking about Will here?"
"That's fucked up," Lucas said, "that's a fucked up way to put it, Dustin."
Dustin put his hands up. "You know what I meant!"
And there they went again with their bickering. Again, Mike tuned them out, lost in his own thoughts.
Was Will really gay? Well, truthfully, ever since Mike had known what the word "gay" meant, he had suspected Will was gay. Not that Will had ever expressed any romantic interest in other guys that Mike was aware of. Will was just... sensitive. He was sensitive, artsy, empathetic. Which was a stereotype - Mike knew that. He knew that was all it was because he wasn't any of those things, and he turned out to be gay, so the stereotype couldn't be a reality. But here his friends were, two of the smartest people he knew, and they were convinced Will was gay. So maybe he was. But, even if Will was gay - and that's a big if -, that didn't mean he liked Mike. It would be pretty narcissistic and pretty presumptuous of Mike to assume Will would have a crush on him just because he happens to be gay. What other signs were there that Will might like him? Were there any signs?
Suddenly, Lucas's voice cut through Mike's thoughts. "Earth to Mike!"
Mike blinked out of his stupor. "Y-yeah?"
"Here you go again," Dustin said.
"I wasn't exactly enticed to join in on your conversation!" Mike responded.
"Alright, alright," said Dustin. "Fair enough."
Mike sat back in his seat.
"So what do you think, man?" asked Lucas. "Gonna confess anytime soon?"
Mike gaped at them. "Hell no!"
Dustin and Lucas groaned.
"You're gonna be single forever, man," Lucas said, Dustin nodding in agreement beside him.
Mike rolled his eyes, a smirk on his lips. He was overwhelmed with relief at his friends' immediate acceptance of his sexuality. He was also just overwhelmed in general. Today did not go how he expected. He anticipated just another Friday boys' night without Will - boring and long, where he spent most of the time in his own head, wishing Will was there with him. Instead, he'd come out to two of his best friends. And revealed his massive, huge, scarily intense crush on Will, which, apparently, wasn't news to them at all. What a night.
Despite himself, he wished Will could have been there. He wished he could talk to Will about these things. He wanted to tell his best friend about his crush. But he couldn't. Because his best friend and his crush just so happened to be the same person.
After Dustin and Lucas had gone home, the house was eerily quiet. It was around 10 P.M., and Mike was home alone. Which was a bit unusual. His parents and Holly went out to dinner then to the movies- he knew that. But he had no clue where Nancy could be. He assumed at Robin's house or out with Jonathan. Strangely, he found himself wishing she was home with him. He wanted to tell her he was gay. He wanted so badly to tell her. He couldn't help but think about that time years and years ago when they promised each other no more secrets. A promise that they broke too many times to count since they made it.
The moon hung high in the night sky and Mike stared up at his bedroom ceiling, filled with a strangely intense motivation new to him. He decided then that, if Nancy came home before their parents, he'd come out to her. He wished two things simultaneously: that she would come home first, and that she wouldn't. The former turned out to be the one that became reality.
From his bedroom, Mike could hear the front door open and shut as someone walked in. Just one someone, not three. Nancy. He felt his heart begin to race instinctually. After a moment of gathering his courage, he pushed himself out of bed and out of his room.
He greeted Nancy from the stairs as he descended. "Hey," he said.
She stood in the foyer, taking off her coat and scarf. "Hi," she said questioningly, a single eyebrow arched in suspicion.
Mike swallowed. "Where were you?"
"Is this an interrogation?" Nancy asked snarkily as she made her way to the kitchen.
Mike trailed behind her. "No."
Nancy didn't respond, she only grabbed a cup from the cabinet before filling it up with water from the tap. She took a slow sip from it, leaning up against the counter. Her movements had an air of nonchalance about them, but from the stiffness of her position, Mike could tell that she knew something was up. And he knew she was waiting for him to say something first. But he couldn't think of a good segue into telling her he was a full-on homosexual in love with his best friend of twelve years, so instead he just said, "So where were you?"
Nancy rolled her eyes, though, without malice. "Why do you care?"
A fair question. Mike pressed his lips together. "I don't," he said.
Nancy made a satisfied "hm" noise, taking another sip from her cup.
"I just wanted to talk to you," Mike said semi-sheepishly.
This got Nancy's attention, nearly choking on her water. Mike's behavior super out-of-character, and it startled the both of them.
"Um," she said, blinking in confusion, "okay. About what?"
Mike avoided eye contact. "It's kind of... hard to say."
Nancy's tone became serious. "Mike. Are you in trouble?"
"No! No, everything's fine," Mike said. Nancy didn't look convinced. "Really, Nancy."
She let up, leaning back a bit. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice slightly less tense.
"I just..." Mike trailed off. "I don't know how to tell you."
Mike felt queasy, his palms clammy and his hands shaking just slightly. He could feel Nancy's eyes studying him, looking for any indication as to what was going on.
Her gaze softened and she walked over to him. "Mike," she said, "whatever it is, I can handle it." She paused, looking him in the eye intensely. "Okay?"
He nodded seriously, swallowing hard. Nancy backed away a bit, giving him space to breathe.
"Nancy, I'm..." The words were caught in his throat. He wanted to say it already, to just get it over with. Why couldn't he?
Nancy shook her head slightly, deep in thought, a perplexed expression on her face.
Mike couldn't stand it any longer and looked down, rubbing his palms on his pajama bottoms. "I'm..." he began, but, again, the words wouldn't come out. He groaned quietly in frustration before trying another angle. "You know how Robin's dating Vicky?"
Nancy blinked, her brows slightly furrowed with confusion. "Um," she said, "yeah. Yes. What does...-" She trailed off, and Mike could practically see the wheels in her head turning. After a moment of pondering, a look of realization came over her face with her eyes widening just slightly. But, to Mike's dismay, she still didn't say she understood.
God, she was really going to make him spell it out for her.
"I'm- like that," Mike stuttered. "Like Robin. And Vicky. I'm..."
"You're gay," Nancy finished for him, saving him from having to choke out the words himself.
Mike cringed and looked away. "Yeah," he said in a voice so soft and frightened it almost didn't sound like his own. His hands wouldn't stop trembling.
Of course, Nancy noticed. "Mike," she said, grabbing his hands in her own, "it's okay. I love you, no matter what." She paused. "You know that, right?" she asked seriously.
Mike couldn't meet her gaze. "I know," he said.
Nancy stood still thoughtfully for a moment before pulling her brother in for a hug. Neither one could even remember the last time they hugged. Mike didn't like physical affection from anyone, really, but especially not from anyone in the Wheeler family. It made him squeamish, almost. But this time, he couldn't help but lean into the hug, relieved at his sister's acceptance and support.
Nancy pulled apart from him, her hands planted firmly on his shoulders. "Are you okay?"
Mike finally looked her in the eyes. "I'm okay."
She gave a tight-lipped smile before returning back to her spot on the counter. They were comfortably silent for a moment before Nancy asked, "Does anyone else know?"
"I actually told Dustin and Lucas tonight," Mike said.
"Oh, wow," said Nancy. "That's... a lot."
"Yeah."
"And, um... Will? He doesn't know?"
Mike froze. "No," he said in a voice that totally didn't sound suspicious at all.
"Oh."
"Why?"
"No reason."
"Nance."
"No reason!"
"Nancy."
"Okay, okay!" Nancy relented. "I just thought Will was your... closest friend, is all."
"What are you implying?" Mike asked in a low voice.
"Nothing," Nancy replied non-convincingly.
"You're implying something."
"I just think Will would take the news well," Nancy said somewhat slyly. "I think he'd be very happy to hear it."
"Why's that?"
"Come on, Mike. You're not stupid."
Mike didn't say a word.
"Or maybe you really are that dense-"
"Alright, I get it," Mike cut in. "You think Will... likes me?"
"I don't think it," Nancy corrected. "I know it."
"Ugh, you sound like Dustin," Mike said with a groan.
"He always was my favorite."
"How do you know? That Will... likes me."
"God, he just does, Mike," said Nancy. "You'd have to be a complete idiot not to know."
"You know what," said Mike, deciding to change tactics, "it really seems like you're assuming that **I** like Will."
"Mike, I've always known you like Will."
"W-what?" Mike sputtered. "How-?"
"You're so overprotective of him, have you noticed that? And really quite jealous too. Very jealous."
Mike blinked. "I am not jealous!" he said, offended.
Nancy scoffed, crossing her arms. "Right."
"I'm not!"
"Mike, who are you trying to fool here?"
He opened his mouth to offer some half-thought-out rebuttal but decided against it. This was not an argument he knew he could win.
"Maybe you don't like Will," said Nancy. "Really, I think you love him."
Mike nearly flinched at the word. He couldn't bring himself to speak.
Nancy's voice softened, and Mike could tell she knew. "Do you love him?"
Again, Mike's voice failed him. He looked away.
Nancy smiled warmly, a soft look in her eyes. "He loves you too, Mike," she said in a voice so genuine Mike almost believed her.
"Whatever, Nance," was all he could manage to get out in response.
At that moment, the front door opened, the sounds of their mom, dad, and little sister echoing through the hall. Suddenly, Mike was gripped with panic, realizing the seriousness of their conversation.
"Don't tell them," he said to Nancy in a hushed but intense voice. "Please."
She looked almost offended. "I would never."
Again, Mike found himself alone in his bed, darkness enveloping his room. Now, more than ever, he wanted to tell someone that he was gay. Someone other than Dustin and Lucas and Nancy, of course. But, this time, he wanted to go into it ready. Prepared. Not teary-eyed and out of breath, but steady and confident. So, in his mind, he made a plan. His next closest friend was Max, so, tomorrow, he would come out to her. He didn't know where they'd be or what he'd say- he just knew he would do it. He had to. More than that, he wanted to. He fell asleep at nearly 1 in the morning with only a half-baked plan in mind. Tomorrow was the day.