Chapter Text
"What the fuck!?" Subaru exclaimed, his eyes wide.
What's going on? This has never happened before. Have I really gone mad like Petelgeuse?
Felix looked at him with pity, clutching the boy's hands tighter.
"It is as you said, Subaru-kyun... The geet milk worked..."
Subaru's eyes would have widened further if it were possible.
Goat milk!? The cure was just goat milk!? I mean, I made the connection to the star Lust is named after... but to think it was so simple? All that planning, all that begging... for the simplest solution ever.
"..." He forced a small smile. "I'm glad, Felix... but why aren't you calling me Pride?"
Felix flinched slightly, averting his gaze.
"W-well... nyou might not be a cultist... and nyou helped Crusch-syama... Nya can't find it in myself to be cruel anymore..."
...Oh. So he's just an obsessed freak. Reminds me of someone.
"...Okay. And why did you clean... the cell, and me?" he asked with a frown.
Felix tilted his head as if Subaru were the stupid one.
"I just told nya. Nyou helped Crusch-syama."
"...Right. And you're sure you can suppress your urges?" he asked cautiously. He knew this sadistic cat freak enjoyed torturing him for fun.
"Urges? Subaru-kyun, whatever might nyou be talking about, nya?" he said innocently.
Yeah, no one's falling for that, buddy, he thought to himself with a slight sigh. So he would survive this loop? Like this? He looked down at his left hand, expecting to see three fingers.
...
...
He saw three. Right. Obviously. He sighed, realizing he would have to live with only seven fingers now.
"Subaru-kyun... are nya actually innocent...?" Felix asked suddenly, his voice small.
I never told him I was innocent this loop... In fact, I acted so crazy he should be sure I'm a Witch Cultist...
"..."
"..."
"...So? Gonna answer?"
"Will you boil my blood if I don't?" Subaru asked with animosity, realizing he no longer had to play stupid.
Felix winced.
"Listen, nya... I know the things I have done to nyou were inhumane, even for an Archbishop... but..."
But...?
"But..." Felix's eyes teared up. "Ferris has to know what he did. Ferris has to know if he was right, or just a monster. Please, please tell the truth, Subaru-kyun... Please..." he pleaded, shaking on the chair with his head bowed.
Now he's playing the victim? Pathetic.
"...It's all your fault," Subaru said simply. "And I hate you for everything you have done to me. I won't forgive you. I'll kill you one way or another."
"...Right. That's for the best, nya. Ferri-chan would question your mental health if it was anything else."
"..."
"..."
"...Ferri will make sure mew are judged fairly, nya. If you're proven innocent..." His shoulders shook slightly. "If mew are innocent... Ferri doesn't know what to do..."
Subaru's eye twitched. He should know what to do. He should kill himse—
"...Yeah, well... can I ask for something?" Subaru said calmly, looking at the floor.
"...?" Felix listened, a quiet affirmative.
"Can I... get clothes? Also... I want to speak with Reinhard," Subaru said very, very carefully. This could be a breakthrough loop. He was too desperate to mess it up.
Felix's eyes widened. "The Sword Saint is currently trying to reach the Pleiades Watchtower, nya... Even if he agreed, mew would have to wait at least a few months..."
Subaru's brow twitched in annoyance, but he quickly had another idea.
"...Felix. Is... can Crusch talk or get up?" he asked calmly.
Felix shook his head. "Although her condition has improved, nya, she still needs more time to function properly. Sorry, nya."
Felix looked genuinely apologetic. He stood up.
"Subaru-kyun... Ferri-chan will return with clothes... and a warm stew," he said awkwardly, clearly upset and ashamed.
Subaru didn't say anything, just nodded.
It was night.
The air was cold and thick with malice.
Capella was in her castle, sitting on her throne. Every impatient grunt she made caused her children to flinch.
Where... where the fuck is the info? Why are my children so fucking lazy? I gave them a whole week. A WEEK. And they still haven't returned...
Capella groaned, frustrated.
...That's it. I'm going to teach them a lesson when they get back. They will know to never disobey Mama or make her impatient.
She thought with a sick, sadistic smile. She had half a mind to barge in there herself but hesitated. The current whereabouts of the Sword Saint were unknown.
She didn't take the risk.
"M-Mama!" a voice squeaked out with panic and fear, stepping forward.
The info notebook, always so full and thick with secrets that could make nobles drool, was almost empty.
EMPTY.
"...Mama... I only gathered this much."
They handed her a small, pathetic piece of paper. The paper was padded with extra words to make it look fuller. A clever trick to not get punished. But through it all, the only information was about previous Pride Archbishops and the accusation and imprisonment of Natsuki Subaru.
Is this child fucking with me? Do they not take me seriously anymore? Even I know this fucking much. How can they even dare to call this info?
"...What is this...?" Capella asked calmly, her sweet smile looking anything but.
"...Uh... The... the information?"
Needless to say, Capella turned her child into countless forms, causing great terror and agony until death.
A couple of days passed. Subaru was now fully clothed, wearing a simple white tunic and black trousers.
He found the floor comforting, even when Felix suggested switching his room to a more comfortable one.
Felix tried to make small talk a few times.
Subaru promptly ignored him.
The only time Felix knew he was listening was when he talked about Crusch's improving health. Subaru looked more and more impatient each day.
This worried Felix. If Subaru were to be deemed innocent... then... then... he wasn't sure if he could remain a Knight of Crusch.
He didn't want Subaru to be innocent.
And that thought twisted his self-esteem into self-hatred. Bile rose in his throat. He had to visit Subaru every day, look at his white hair that was once black, his once-perfect body now marred by scars.
Felix was ashamed of his own actions.
It had been a week since Crusch was supposedly healed.
In truth, Crusch was already fully recovered. He was lying to Subaru. He didn't want to confront his errors. His cruelty.
Every time he went down to tend to Subaru, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he lied to his face with a smile, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he healed the scarred tissues, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he looked into those blank, once-black eyes, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he saw the boy's nails regrowing, now that he had food to eat, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he saw that frail, weak, starved body, he felt more and more sick.
Every time he compared Subaru's body now to what it used to be, he felt more and more sick.
He had ruined a person's life.
One night, when Felix came to give him a blanket—despite Subaru's insistence that he didn't need one—he stepped into the cell.
Subaru looked so troubled. He was groaning and whimpering in his sleep. Felix would bet a million holy coins it wasn't from the cold.
A familiar self-loathing filled his chest. He was a disgrace to healers. He was a cruel monster.
He knelt and calmly, slowly, and gently lowered the blanket onto his body.
The moment the blanket touched his skin—
"AAAAAAAAHHHH!? GET AWAY! GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Subaru's eyes flew open, and he clawed at Felix's face. He was shaking, crab-walking backward with a terrified look. He was hyperventilating, staring at Felix as if the knight might swallow him whole.
Felix's cut cheek closed up before it could even bleed, but it wasn't the only thing that hurt.
He looked at the shaking boy with wide, horrified eyes. Bile rose in his throat. It was inevitable now. He slammed the cell door behind him and ran to the nearest bathroom, gripping the sink.
"BLEAAGHHH... ugh... guh..." He spilled his breakfast into the sink, turning on the water. He was breathing heavily. His thoughts were a jumbled mess that caused another wave of nausea, and he puked until there was nothing left. He stared at the mirror, his face spattered with green, filthy bile.
I feel sick.
I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick. I feel sick.
Felix Argyle lost consciousness right there. Servants found him in the morning.