Chapter Text
Ori was walking outside of the front gate.
The stench of death still clung everywhere in the air; orcs and other fallen bodies remained scattered on the ground, as he walked further from it all towards a far hill not littered with corpses. Stonehelm was behind him, following because Dwalin and Nori had wanted at least someone else with him.
His walking companion had thankfully gotten the message at last that he didn't want to talk at all, so Ori was able to move without the taxing weight of expected social interaction. He might not care about Stonehelm's existence in theory, but the other dwarf wasn't so terrible when he kept quiet.
Ori had been watching Dáin's son for the past few days, since they had first spoken, and noticed he actually did like to be silent. The brunet lounged about, as if he were right at home, but he also read books voraciously. From his traveling pack he had produced a few over recent days, and sat near Ori, just reading them. There were only so many places to go in a broken home, so as long as they kept to their relative spaces and silence, it was as comfortable as it could be.
Had everything been different, Ori supposed that they might have been friends. Maybe that is what made him slow his pacing and fall into step with Fíli's cousin.
Even though he loved silence, it was unnerving where they were, and he needed something to block out the more heartbreaking thoughts his mind begged him to consider as they plodded on together.
"Do you read often?" Ori asked, quietly, as if somehow his words alone could stir the departed if he spoke too loudly.
Stonehelm glanced at him, his brown eyes considering him, then he glanced away and said, "When I can, yes. I'm an only child, so there's not much to do unless I find ways to amuse myself, or request company from others. However, that's always a double-edged sword, given who I am."
Ori nodded. He understood by association to the line of Durin alone; too many had been willing to forget their compunctions in the Blue Mountains, and vy for the attention of those who might one day sit the throne of Erebor once again. Even in the Iron Hills, it seemed much the same.
They continued walking a bit further, before Ori spoke again.
"I'm not an only child. However, I might as well have been when I was growing up, given I was raised by my two elder brothers who are many years my seniors."
Stonehelm replied more quickly after.
"That's where Fíli and Kíli come in, then, yeah?"
Ori grimaced.
He hated hearing Stonehelm mention them so casually, as if they could pop up at any moment, and be there with them like they should be. Even so, to hear them spoken of at all, eased a slight ache inside of him, he realized.
Others had begun to tip toe around the subject, once they had become aware it was a sore matter with him. Even members of the Company whispered amongst themselves, when they thought he didn't notice.
Briefly, Ori had considered following Bilbo back to the Shire. At least there, no one would know him. However, to be so far removed from his own kin was a painful thought of its own. Especially, given the overall circumstances.
At least in Erebor, others were around to understand even partially why he had all but taken a vow of silence, unless necessary. Stonehelm though, in his own bull-headed way, had gotten him to speak. Perhaps, that was for the best, really.
"With regard to Kíli, yes, he was more like a brother to me than anything else."
"You and Fíli weren't close then?"
Ori stopped and faced Stonehelm, who halted his steps, too.
The ginger knew he could keep silent, but for just one moment he needed someone else to know; someone who lived.
They stared at each other for a while; brown eyes met brown, and beneath that unfamiliar gaze, Ori exhaled sharply. He hoped he could manage not to cry, talking about what he meant to right then. However, the weight of carrying the burden of knowing felt like too much to hold alone anymore.
"Fíli started out as my friend when we were young. However, we became so much more." Ori paused, doing his best to withhold his tears, as he continued to explain. "So, yes, we were close; he is my One, even now when he is gone from me. I hate hearing others assume I'm only grieving a friend, but we agreed not to tell anyone until after the mountain was reclaimed. What a mistake that was."
Ori's lament tapered off, but he did not look away from Stonehelm. Instead, he jutted his chin out, daring the latter to speak ill of the bond, or the secret he had unwillingly kept.
Stonehelm reached out tentatively and clasped his shoulders. Ori stiffened, so the hands fell away.
However, there was a sincere expression on the other dwarf's face, as he said, "I am so sorry that you are shouldering that on your own. I didn't know my cousin well, but I thought him a decent sort. We were both competitive, which reared its ugly head at times when we did meet and interact as children. However, he was always kind to me where competition was not involved, so long as I wasn't an arse to his younger brother."
Ori nodded. That certainly sounded like his Fíli. The fallen Crown Prince had first and foremost loved Kíli in a platonic sense so fiercely; he would have done anything to prevent him from coming to unnecessary harm.
"Thank you for listening. Now you can see why I had no desire to talk to you the other day. I still don't now, but I needed to tell someone. If only so that at least one living individual knows why I'm drowning."
Stonehelm nodded.
"Your secret is safe with me."
"Thank you," Ori responded, quietly.
He had to look away after that, though.
So, he turned, and continued walking. Stonehelm followed, not long after.
"We don't have to be the best of friends, but I'd like to not be strangers, if that's alright with you," Stonehelm said, eventually, after he had caught up to Ori.
The scribe continued in silence, considering that.
When he didn't respond, Stonehelm added, "To prove that I am sincere, I'll have you know something I think even my Adad is still coming around to. Something he'd rather not accept, even if it is no great shame at all amongst our kind."
They crested the hill he had meant to come to, then Ori turned and looked at Stonehelm again. His face was a bit taut with what could only be irritation.
"What's that?"
"I'm craftbound."
"This bothers your Adad?" Ori asked.
Stonehelm was right; to be craftbound was normal, amongst non-royalty, and even dwarrow overall. However, he supposed given the heir's position, that might make everything a bit more difficult.
Stonehelm nodded, his mouth pulled into a frown.
"Aye. He would just as soon I try not to be, which isn't fair."
Ori agreed, even though the conversation was verging into more dangerous territory, that might have him sobbing his eyes out soon. So, he remained quiet, whilst turning to look past all of the death, out towards where he could see hints of nature.
Birds twittered as they flew beneath the nearly cloudless sky above them.
What right did the sun have to shine, though, when a dwarf who had all but embodied its light no longer breathed?
Ori grimaced, then glanced back towards his walking companion.
Stonehelm sighed.
"He's a good Adad; strong-minded, as you can imagine. But I know he loves me, even still."
Ori pursed his lips. He didn't know much about parents, but stubborn family members he knew all too well. Even so, Nori and Dori loved him still, whether they agreed with all of his choices or not. Were they to be made aware of what he had kept from them, he felt that would still be true, after they got over their initial anger and hurt at being left in the dark for so long.
"If that is the case, he'll come around. Thorin named his sister-sons as his heirs, after all. Only child or not, perhaps someone in your family lines will prove to be worthy of that designation, one day."
Stonehelm grimaced, as if he didn't quite believe Ori's words.
"Perhaps."
They lapsed into silence after that; both lost to their own problems and individual thoughts.