Chapter Text
Dick stared at the motorcycle. He’d been staring for the past three minutes. Jason had been holding his mouth for the past two.
“Okay-” the damn finally broke, Jason laughing through his fingers. “I just texted Tim.”
“You-!” Dick spun on his heel, eyes squinty and an irritated red. “Why.” He pouted, drawing out the last syllable of the word.
A buzzing from Jason’s pocket drew his attention away from his overdramatic brother. His other overdramatic brother was calling.
“Why do you need a ride?” Tim was obviously chewing on something on the other end of the line. “I’m already getting my shoes on, but do I need to come in suit, or is this a civilian thing?”
Dick was staring at him with the widest he’d seen his eyes go that night, obviously terrified of the prospect of both seeing Tim within the next few minutes and also potentially having to talk to him on the phone.
“Oh it’s a civilian thing alright.” Jason still had half a laugh on his lips.
A moment of silence on the other end before the telltale click of Tim’s phone connecting to his car’s bluetooth. “And?”
Jason sighed deeply, putting Tim on speakerphone to avoid Dick actually exploding in anticipation. Dick sat on the curb next to him, hands curled into his sweatshirt like hoodie paws. If Jason didn’t have Tim on the phone, he’d snap a picture to send off to Kory. She liked seeing Dick’s eccentricities about as much as Jason liked making fun of them.
“And we smoked a bowl because Dickwad forgot about movie night.”
There was another moment of silence, this one sounded more like Tim’s phone getting muted, before laughter filled Jason’s phone speakers. “You two are idiots!”
“Yeah yeah, but hey maybe it’ll shake up movie night.” Jason shrugged, looking around the abandoned street.
A long sigh that didn’t exactly sound like Tim. “Oh you have no idea how much we’ll be shaking up movie night. I’ll explain when we get there, I’ve got your location and ETA is looking like ten minutes.”
“Sounds good.” Jason looked up to find Dick giving him a hard stare.
Dick switched his glare to the phone. “We?”
“I’m not bringing Damian, don’t worry Richie.”
“Who are you bringing?” Dick’s voice reached a new octave that Jason was previously unaware of.
If it was possible to roll his eyes through the phone, Tim would be the one to convey just that. “I just said, I’ll explain when I see you.”
Dick let his head fall into his hands.
“Alright, we’ll be seeing you then.” Jason hung up. “That didn’t go that bad.”
“I can’t believe you texted him.”
“Who else?” Jason put a hand on Dick’s shoulder softly. “If we’d taken a rideshare you would’ve panicked the whole way and freaked out the driver. At least now we’ll go into movie night knowing that Tim’s got us, right?”
“He definitely does not have our backs here and will be doing anything he can to embarrass me and/or you in front of Duke and Cass.” Dick had his sweater paws propping up his face.
Jason clapped Dick’s shoulder as he took his hand back. “Oh yee of little faith, the kid ain’t that bad.”
It took less than five minutes for Tim’s bright red sports car to make a flashy entrance, doing a donut in front of them before coming to stop right against the curb they were sat on. Dick opened one of the back doors with a sigh and held it open for Jason to follow.
“You’re a terrible driver.” Dick muttered.
“Says you, Jason told me that you-”
“You told him!” Dick slapped Jason’s chest with a sweater paw. “That was- that was confidential, you promised me.”
“I didn’t tell him about that time!” Jason put his hands up in surrender. “Just that one time when I was in the car.”
That seemed to satisfy Dick, who turned to look out the window in angst instead of continuing the argument. Tim made a mental note to get whatever Dick didn’t want him to know out of Jason at a later date.
Jason leaned forward in his seat. “Who’s your friend?”
On cue, Kon reached a hand into the backseat. “Kon El.”
Neither Dick or Jason took his hand. Dick squinted at him. “We’ve met before.”
Kon swallowed. “Yeah, I uh work at the rescue that Damian volunteers at.”
“Shit! Yeah, you’re the funny front desk guy!” Dick’s face lit up and he leaned forward unconsciously.
Kon broke into a fit of laughter with Tim glowering next to him in the driver’s seat. Tim pitied his brothers and made eye contact with Dick in the rear-view mirror. “He was hitting on you to me, it’s a long story.”
“I-” Dick started but closed his mouth and sat still for a moment. “Thanks?”
“No hard feelings, but I seriously wouldn’t, I just wanted to get under this guy’s skin.” Kon gave an faux apologetic grin to Dick.
Jason looked around the car bewildered. “Wait- am I missing something? Since when are you two best buds?”
“Dude, we’ve been on a team together for years. He’s my best friend?” Tim shot back, taking the sharp turn up the mountain road leading to Wayne Manor.
“No, but since when are you hanging out without -” Jason mimicked a mask.
“Since now.” Tim shrugged.
Dick shook his head, unable to hide his smile. “B is going to flip.”
“No, but you might.” Jason shrugged, realizing after he’d said it that they’d had that exact interaction probably a dozen or so times when they were kids. Old habits die hard.
Dick rolled his eyes. “Does he know that Kon is coming?”
“He knows.” Tim nodded. “Well, he knows that Jon is coming and I figured he couldn’t be mad.”
Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he’d caught from Bruce and Tim. “He could. He will.”
Tim looked incredulously through the rearview mirror. “Yeah but he’s got no grounds to stand on. Damian got to invite someone, and hell, it’s pretty much the same thing.”
“On the topic, I’ve been meaning to ask…” Jason coughed awkwardly. “Isn’t it weird for you guys to be friends? With how Supes and B are?” He draped himself over the back of Tim’s chair, looking between him and Kon.
Dick snorted but held his tongue.
Kon tilted his head in thought. “No, I’ve never really thought about it.”
Tim nodded in agreement. “I try not to. I don’t know Clark as well as you two do, but it’s not like they’ve fucked. And- well, it’s not that we have either, I just mean that-”
Dick lost his shit. He doubled over himself laughing in the backseat, one hand having made it’s way into the ‘oh shit’ handle and the other plastered across his stomach as he caught his breath.
“What?” Tim’s voice came out icy.
It took a moment for Dick to compose himself, the sweater paws finally coming off as he pushed up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “They did fuck, that’s all.”
The car went silent. Only the dull clicking of the turn signal filled the void.
“Oh. Probably shouldn’t have said that.” Dick sighed.
“They- they fucked?” Kon blinked a couple of times. “Like- when?”
“I was ten, I think?” Dick scratched the back of his head. “It was before they knew their identities. B probably knew, but I can’t prove that.” He shrugged. “Bruce had an image to upkeep, and there was a ‘hot’ new single reporter at some event. I don’t know anything that happened, just that he ate breakfast with us the next day, which wasn’t normal, and then two months later when Clark showed up in the supersuit and glasses in the batcave, he was forever Uncle Clark from then on.”
“That’s insane, Dick.” Tim barely held back an astonished laugh.
Jason turned his body fully towards Dick. “There was a time you didn’t know who he was?”
Dick shrugged. “It wasn’t a long time, just about a year into knowing him. He’s pretty trusting, I think he was waiting for B to trust him.”
“So- I’ve never felt weird about being your best friend before, Tim, but I’m beginning to feel...” Kon narrowed his eyes, clicking his tongue. “Our dads have seen each other naked.”
“I don’t blame you.” Tim looked only slightly shellshocked. “I didn’t know he was bisexual.”
Jason had somehow found the bag of twizzlers that Tim must have been snacking on when he’d called earlier and was making one hell of a dent. “We all are.”
Another pointed silence. Kon opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, eyes darting between each of them in the car. Tim, narrowed eyes focused entirely on the road in front of them, lips pursed in both frustration and thought. Frustrating thoughts, then. Dick, eyes caught between the footbed and the window, hands balled up in his hoodie and sitting at what had to be an uncomfortable angle. Jason, the only one of them to catch his gaze and hold it as he stopped chewing twizzlers to glare.
“Are you serious.” Tim all but whispered.
“Who in this car isn’t bisexual?” Jason raised his own hand.
“You just raised your own hand.” Tim glared in the rearview.
“I’m not sticking any god damned labels on myself.” Jason shook his head and polished off another twizzler. “I go both ways though.”
“Dick?” Tim cocked an eyebrow in the rearview mirror.
Dick shook his head and went back to his intended window brooding. “I plead the fifth.”
“That’s kinda cool.” Kon elbowed Tim, reaching behind him for the bag of twizzlers from Jason, who did not give it up. “All of you guys have something to bond over. I, personally, think it’s sweet. Only like half of my family is bisexual.”
“Wait, even Steph?” Tim turned slightly to try and look at Jason, ignoring Kon. “What about Cass? Duke?”
“I’m not speaking for them.” Dick injected. “But if I were, I’d say they probably have similar answers to Jason and myself.”
“Christ, I know nothing about this family.” Tim turned back to the road and shook his head. Dick laughed, almost torn from his brooding to be fully back in the conversation, but Tim cut him off before he could. “Don’t even try to comment on how much I know about you, Grayson. I could have assumed you were bisexual years ago without needing your confirmation, I was just being polite.”
“I-” Dick closed his mouth and didn’t give that a full reply.
Kon was looking at Tim like he’d both hung the stars and grown another head. Tim sighed. “It’s a long story but I stalked him for awhile.”
“Still do.” Dick muttered under his breath and Jason huffed a laugh.
“Got it.” Kon nodded. “So glad to finally get to know you out of the suit. It’s nice to know that you’re just another normal guy stalking your family members like anyone else.”
Tim groaned and turned into the garage. “You two are still stoned, and while it’s all cool and fun that you decided to tell us all that shit right now, what are we going to do in there?”
Dick sighed. “B knows we smoked. He even texted to remind me of movie night, probably because he knew I wouldn’t have if-”
Tim turned the car off and unclipped his seatbelt to properly turn and glare at the two of them. “He knows?”
“Yeah.” Dick wiped a hand over his face. “And while we’re on the topic, get rid of your vape. At least while you’re home and not doing young justice stuff.”
“How did-” Tim’s face went red. “Were you in my room again? I told you to quit that!”
“I was looking for- nevermind, doesn’t matter. I won’t do it again, just don’t let B find it.”
Tim crossed his arms, still glaring over the center console. “Why does it matter to you?”
“Because I am the oldest- if you get caught with drugs, it gets blamed on me.”
“‘Drugs’?” Tim laughed, fishing his vape from his pocket. “It’s not even considered a controlled substance.”
“You’re nineteen, Tim, it’s illegal for you to have that.” Dick motioned to the vape. “Isn’t it counterproductive to have a nicotine addiction on top of the physical stuff we do?”
Tim sputtered. “We’re getting off track here, you two need to sober up or face the wrath of everyone inside when you show up obviously stoned.”
A small moment of silence in which Tim finally remembered to take out the abandoned Placebo CD from the center console.
“Maybe me and Jon will take the heat off of you guys.” Kon shrugged.
“Certainly not.” Tim scoffed. “Throw one thing off and all of us are on edge, they’ll notice immediately that Dick can’t make eye contact and Jason’s eyes are about 20% more dilated.”
Jason shook his head. “Fuck, well there’s not much we can do about either of those things. Not without freaking out Grayson even more.”
Dick whipped his head between the two of them. “Why would I freak out? Why is this mostly about me?”
“Because I take gas station edibles every other night of the week, I’m not scared of this. Hell, I’m almost certain I was stoned during the last movie night.”
“You-” Dick pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay so it’s mostly about me then.”
Kon sat up straight, raising his hand as if in class. “I have one idea.”
Tim grabbed Kon’s hand and put it down. “Go ahead.”
“You two smell like weed. That’s the one thing we can fix.” Kon shrugged off his jacket, “Jason.” He handed his jacket over.
Tim pulled off his hoodie, passing it back to Dick. “Not your worst idea.”
Kon winked at him.“Sometimes I’m smart.”
“Key word: sometimes.” Tim rolled his eyes.
Dick slipped off his hoodie and pulled Tim’s over his shoulders. “Wait- this is mine. Have you been stealing my stuff again?”
Tim flushed red. “I was in bludhaven for the day and needed a place to crash for an hour or two. No big deal.”
“I’ve- I.” Dick shook his head and punched the back of Kon’s seat lightly. “How did I not see you on the cameras? I added extra security since the last time you broke in.”
Tim pursed his lips. “And who helped you pick out which cameras and what type of system to install?”
Jason put a hand on Dick’s shoulder. “Damn.”
Kon huffed a small laugh and looked between Tim and Dick endearingly. “For being your favorite, you two sure bicker a lot.”
Tim’s eyes went wide and he smacked Kon’s shoulder. Jason and Dick shared a knowing look.
“Really?” Jason snorted. “He’s your favorite?”
“He’s- I-” Tim gaped. “Let’s go inside now.”
The car doors opened with the click of a button and they clambered into the garage.