Chapter Text
The Royal Palace was abuzz with excitement, with multitudes of staff scurrying about the halls with stacks of an assortment of goods in their arms. Butlers guide family members down the hallways and out into the Grand Garden Pavilion of the palace. As they walk through, staff take their coats and bags along with their lavish gifts from their servants. The courtyard opens to a sunlit space surrounded by traditional Korean architecture with subtle European flourishes. The pavilion itself is an architectural symbol of the empire’s modern monarchy, a graceful fusion of sweeping tiled roofs, carved lattice screens, and tall glass panels that open into the gardens like a fan. The building is lined with large trees filled with white blooms that shade over the structure, swaying wistfully. Silk textiles billow softly in the spring breeze, the fabric draping over the wooden marquees that hang above the entrance of the pavilion.
Children’s laughter echoes joyfully in the space, a melody harmonizing with the soft gayageum tunes played by court musicians at the side of the pavilion, all dressed in pastel hues for the event’s theme. Guests flock to the pavilion in steady streams, familiar faces greeting each other in delight to reunite after ages. Small bodies zip through crowds of people, holding wooden traditional toys and streamers in hand, chasing friends in pure joy around the courtyard.
Many nobles, families, and foreign dignitaries have gathered from near and far to celebrate the fifth birthday of Prince Junhyeon, the first son of Prince Sunghoon and his Royal Consort, Princess Wonyoung. Everyone was excited to join in on the festivities, as the Royal Family was known to put on a huge celebration for any special occasion.
The royal couple was still nowhere to be seen with their young son, so people idled about, drinking sweet refreshments and enjoying hors d’oeuvres that servers floated by on silver platters. Photos were snapped by royal photographers to capture the moments, friends and family drifting about to pair with each other for a snapshot. To the side near the entrance of the palace, a slender figure stands with a quiet brilliance and composure, checking his wristwatch occasionally and looking behind him down the hall.
“Any minute now…” he murmured, checking his leather folio once again.
Suddenly, a tiny force collides into his legs with a burst of delighted giggles. Sunoo fakes a pained groan to play along, as he looks down to meet large, round chocolate eyes and a cute, big grin. “Sunoo-hyung!” the boy yelped, eyes squeezing into crescents as the blonde picked him up to swing him in a circle, the leather folio still under the crook of his arm.
“Happy birthday, Your Royal Highness, I am so delighted to see you today,” Sunoo said, admiring how sweet the boy looked, dark bangs trimmed neatly for the celebration in his name. Junhyeon giggled when Sunoo reached up to tickle his rounded cheek and quickly raised his little fist, which held a white dog stuffed animal that he loved carrying around.
“Sungie is with me today,” the boy declared, referring to the plush that he named after his father.
“Ahh, I see,” Sunoo replied, mouth curving into an “o” to emphasize his reaction.
“Junhyeon!” A soft call came from further down the hall.
The two turn to the source of the voice, and they see a blur of mint green gliding across the marbled floors in ease, as the Royal Consort makes her way towards them. Wonyoung is looking perfectly elegant, her dark hair in a neat braid sitting on one shoulder. Her dress is simple but clearly made of the finest silks that royal tailors could source. Once she approached close enough, Junhyeon reached his small limbs out, and she took him from Sunoo’s arms. “Umma!” the small boy chirped, nuzzling his face into her neck.
Wonyoung smiled warmly at her son before bowing slightly to Sunoo. “Hello, Sunoo-ssi, how are you this morning?”
Sunoo returned the smile, beaming politely. “I’m doing well. We were able to complete all festivity preparations smoothly, so there was nothing to worry about at all. The staff and I hope you and the Royal Family have a lovely time today.”
Wonyoung took a glance at the courtyard, which is now filled with friends and relatives, who haven’t yet noticed the arrival of the princess since they stood away from view near the doors. “I really appreciate your help, Sunoo-ssi. It looks magnificent. Exactly what I pictured,” she replied, sighing with ease. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
Sunoo is about to open his mouth to reassure her not to give any more praise when a familiar figure appears behind Wonyoung, causing a flicker in his usual heart rate. Dark brows and sharp eyes, His Royal Highness Prince Sunghoon steps beside Wonyoung, an arm gently around her to signal his arrival. “Oh, hello, yeobo,” she smiled up at her husband, who reached down to collect Junhyeon from her arms.
Junhyeon is squirming, excitedly wanting to show his father the stuffed dog he brought along. “Look, Appa, it’s you!”
Sunghoon laughed, his deep voice resonating warmly for his only son. “You are right, that is me,” he played along, nodding with an impressed expression.
The young prince was a treasure of the Royal Family, earning the nickname of “darling of the nation” by the public, who quickly fell in love with him after he was born. To add to his preciousness, Junhyeon was the only child of the Royal Couple, born two years after Sunghoon and Wonyoung’s royal wedding and representing the monarchy’s future with his youthful instinct and patient nature. Sunoo had the honor of spending much time with the young prince, assisting Wonyoung with coordinating his care and piano lessons, which he was quite taken by and had a natural inclination for music. Wonyoung was delighted when he found an interest in the instrument, as she was classically trained in piano and studied under some of the most renowned pianists in all of Korea.
Sunoo has been committed to serving the Royal Family since he was of age, starting off as Prince Sunghoon’s royal advisor, where he spent almost 10 years in the position to assist the prince with his engagements and responsibilities. He proved himself to be the meticulous and steadfast right hand to the prince, the public praising him to be the “prince’s shadow” because of his quiet brilliance that echoed in his reliability.
It was a relief that Sunoo enjoyed doing what he did, because eventually, in the same year that the royal couple’s son was born, Sunoo was granted the title of Chief Advisor. This new rank led to an increase in his reputation and added more scope to assist all heads of the Royal Family. This included working directly with not only Prince Sunghoon, but the Crown Prince, Jay, as well as Wonyoung. Sunoo relished this new role, appreciating the time he got to spend with royals other than just the prince, second-in-line to the throne.
Despite the endless additional tasks that came with the Chief Advisor position, Sunoo still found himself working with the prince fairly often. Each day, he would meet with Sunghoon in his private study at 7:00 AM sharp for their daily briefing, which was usually held over tea or coffee. Sunoo kept these meetings short, running through all the agenda items as precisely and quickly as he could, discussing current events and upcoming audiences at a speed that could rival that of a spelling bee contestant.
The relationship he had with the prince was an interesting one to say the least – the pair had been long-time friends since their boarding school days in secondary school. They spent endless days together, typically involving the prince messing around with the younger boy whom he enjoyed badgering. Sunoo disliked being the object of Sunghoon’s teasing, but eventually this annoyance grew into a form of deep affection for his best friend. To the young boy’s surprise, Sunghoon had mutual feelings for Sunoo as well – they began a romantic relationship in private, hiding away from any prying eyes and having covert rendezvous in locked rooms and empty corridors.
Amongst the frenzy of royal duties and responsibility, Sunoo and Sunghoon found comfort in each other, relying on one another to stay focused and poised throughout their arrangements. It helped that the two were madly enamored with each other, a sweet first, puppy love that evolved into something more intoxicatingly saccharine. Days went by, years flew past, and their connection only deepened the more time they spent together as both royal and advisor, but also as lovers. Daily briefings concluded with tender kisses, and evenings consummated with lust; the two were deep in their illicit affair.
Eventually, their fairytale came crashing down as Sunoo began to awaken from his haze; there was the looming guilt that hung over him since they began their relationship, since the prince was arranged to be married to Wonyoung ever since they were both extremely young. Their engagement was predestined for them, something Sunghoon never had a say in, and he just went with it in the name of duty. Sunoo gave in to his desires many times, but once they reached the day that the prince was to be married to Wonyoung, he decided to fully let go.
Years passed, with no give from Sunoo. Sunghoon continued to break through to him, trying to find any type of crack that would let him sneak through to the advisor’s steeled heart. With each new advance, Sunoo grew more and more hardened; eventually, the prince stopped trying as often, but he still showed that he yearned for their past relationship and memories.
Sunoo threw himself into his work, committing fully to dedicating the rest of his life to the Crown. He found peace through assisting with larger-scale events held by the Royal Family and for ceremonial processions, which made him the perfect candidate for the Chief Advisor once the current one stepped down.
The advisor grew to forget any inkling of desire, suppressing his thoughts until he felt that they were extinguished; little did he know, there was still a tiny flame that was aglow, even if he wanted to ignore it so badly.
“Sunoo-ssi, will you join us for the luncheon today? You must need a break from all the work you’ve done,” Wonyoung inquired, tilting her head to try to appeal to the advisor.
Junhyeon nodded furiously to respond to Sunoo, which made Wonyoung giggle at her son’s cheekiness. Sunghoon bounced his son in his arms to get his attention, “Yah, we must let your Sunoo-hyung decide for himself, hm?”
“Eh…” Sunoo began, unsure of straying away from his duties, even though the Royal Couple always asked him to join them despite his hesitations. “I will have to coordinate the cake delivery, unfortunately. I do appreciate your offer,” he ended up replying.
“Nonsense, we can have the courier speak with Madam Ryu. Come eat with us,” Sunghoon suggested, referring to their head housekeeper.
Sunoo sighed, but immediately felt his heart swell as he met Junhyeon’s pleading round eyes. How could he say no to this angel?
“Alright, I will let her know where to have it sent to, and I will join you all for lunch. Thank you for your invitation,” Sunoo replied, smiling when the young boy yelped in happiness.
The couple bowed to their advisor and bid him farewell until the meal was to be served, before stepping out into the courtyard with a formal introduction by a uniformed herald.
“Please welcome Their Imperial Highnesses, Prince Sunghoon and Princess Wonyoung, accompanied by His Imperial Highness, young Prince Junhyeon!”
The guests clapped and bowed deeply in respect, as a chime of voices cooed over how sweet the birthday boy looked in his garden party attire. Sunoo couldn’t help but feel a small twang of pain twist in his heart, a lingering reminder of his yearning for a life like this with his past lover. He gazed upon the beautiful family, Sunghoon kneeling to let his son go to run forth into the crowd to find his friends, while Wonyoung watched fondly, looking like a picture of complete elegance.
The Royal Couple was perfect in many ways, widely adored by the public and respected by the empire’s leaders. They often participated in state matters in tandem. Wonyoung did not shy away from being a part of diplomatic business and always attended government meetings with her husband. Sunghoon appeared regal and poised, charming with all that he met with; he was praised for his handsome looks even as he got older, his boyish charms still lingering in his bright smile. The public regarded him as the “Golden Prince”, admiring him for his work and the lovely family he built with Wonyoung. There wasn’t anything to dislike about them, and Sunoo very much felt this way about the royals.
With each feeling of yearning nostalgia, Sunoo suffocated it with pouring himself into his duties; he was unyielding to this life of unflinching loyalty. As much as it hurt to keep it all locked away, it was worth it, as it was his way of loving the prince from afar, by ensuring he succeeded in every way.
Each day was like clockwork for Sunoo as the Chief Advisor of five years now. At 5:00 AM sharp, he woke up, freshened up, and started the day by conducting private preparations by checking for overnight communications from the Prime Minister’s office and any foreign embassies. Next, he sent over brief morning updates to the private secretaries of the Prince, Princess, and Crown Prince, Jay.
By 7:00 AM, he made his way to the private study of Sunghoon, where the prince awaited him with a serving of earl grey tea on the desk, which was Sunoo’s personal favorite since he was young. They would go over any current events, upcoming audiences, and any specific notes that the prince should be made aware of for the day ahead. Sunoo managed to always stay stoic and concise with these meetings; never going over the allotted thirty minutes that he scheduled in for the prince, and deflecting any personal questions or comments, which were made in effort to find any ounce of hope, a way into Sunoo’s heart once again.
That morning, Sunoo closed his leather folio promptly once he reached the end of his palace briefing, uncrossing his legs to stand up and take his leave. He bows deeply before the prince. “Thank you for your time this morning, Your Highness. I will see you later for our working lunch.”
He turns his body to head towards the door when he feels a tugging at his wrist; Sunghoon is gripping his hand tightly, but not enough to hurt the advisor – it is a silent plea. “Sunoo-yah, I miss you.”
Sunoo’s jaw tightens at his words, unable to look back to meet the prince’s eyes. “Your Highness, I must go,” he replies, avoiding his gaze. He knows if he does, he will tumble headfirst, losing himself in Sunghoon’s protective embrace.
Moments pass that feel like years, the grip on his wrist remaining unyielding; Sunghoon would not let go, just like how he would not leave behind their long, entangled history. If this were in the past, Sunoo would give in to the prince readily, letting lips meet lips while hands met bodies – but this was now. Sunoo had a duty to fulfill, and it was not to engage in their illicit affair ever again.
“Please stop avoiding me, at least,” Sunghoon implored. “It’s been so long since we’ve had a normal conversation.”
Sunoo swallowed thickly. “What else is there to discuss, Your Highness? We only need to talk about your duties.”
“You’re hurting me, Sunoo-yah. Call me by my name, please, just when we’re alone, will you?” Sunghoon continued, his eyes round with a child-like innocence that resembled how he was when he was much younger. Sunoo could remember how sweet the young prince looked when they were both juveniles, just developing into their pre-teen years, where they were confused about their place in life and figuring out their footing.
“I cannot do that, Your Highness,” Sunoo replied quietly.
They both stared at each other, Sunghoon’s hand still holding on firmly to his wrist. Sunoo let himself sink in just for a moment – the feeling of being held and adored flooding his memories in an instant. No, he mustn't give in.
Sunghoon didn’t make it any easier, rubbing his finger on the inside of Sunoo’s wrist and making the advisor’s heart flutter like a hummingbird’s wing beating in the air. Sunghoon stood up before him, a palm cupping Sunoo’s cheek. The prince stroked the outline of his face, dark and familiar eyes lingering over every feature in an intimate dance. Sunoo’s eyes flitted down to Sunghoon’s lips, a sight he was so familiar with, drinking in before every kiss and moment they made love. Before Sunoo could even control and resist his desires like he had been doing for years, his instincts took over.
Sunghoon’s lips pressed gently into his, with a tenderness that was lined with hunger and longing. A long-held gasp escaped from Sunoo’s mouth, an essence of reprieve that he had starved himself for so long. It wasn’t long before Sunoo was fully intoxicated with his most taboo craving, kissing back fervently and with unrepressed eagerness. His hands find their home around Sunghoon’s neck, something that came out of an ages-old habit of his.
Sunoo couldn’t believe how Sunghoon tasted so good, the older man’s tongue licking into his hungrily as they held each other closely; hands grazed on shoulders, waist, chest, roaming endlessly. The prince was most definitely relishing in how he could elicit the tiniest, wanton whines from the back of Sunoo’s throat.
It was as if the world stopped for them as they touched each other like this, for the first time in years – Sunghoon’s appeals came to consummation, but little did Sunoo like to admit, he was holding onto the same wishes too.
Sunoo gasped, breaking away to catch his breath. Sunghoon immediately leaned further in, capturing Sunoo’s mouth again, grasping Sunoo’s wrists as he raised them in surprise. “S-Sunghoon,” Sunoo stuttered, as he managed to escape for air this time.
Sunghoon laughed, equally breathless. “You said my name, it’s been so long,” he whispered, with a hot breath lingering over Sunoo’s kiss-bruised lips.
Tears threatened to prickle at Sunoo’s eyes as he felt his throat becoming choked up. It was all too much for him to bear, especially with how long he’s been denying himself any semblance of relief. “We can’t do this, we can’t,” he said, in shaky, pitifulness, but Sunghoon kissed him hard once more, with increased vigor this time; Sunoo felt himself melting away deeper into the prince’s presence.
The clock chimed on the hour, indicating that Sunoo was late to his next engagement, the daily meeting with deputy advisors, protocol officers, and communications staff. Sunoo pushed himself away suddenly, Sunghoon’s grip around his waist loosening, reluctantly. Sunoo was able to breathe normally now.
They remained still, with eyes locked and at an arm’s length away from each other.
“Please, Sunoo-yah,” Sunghoon’s voice said quietly.
Sunoo felt a tear threatening to fall down his cheek, so he turned quickly and nearly broke into a dash to reach the door of the prince’s office. Sunoo paused, then looked back. “Please do not put me in foolish situations anymore. I will see you later, Your Highness.”
With that, Sunoo slipped out of the room, feeling a pit grow at the bottom of his stomach.
A ballad of waves softly crashing onto a sandy shore seeped through his hearing. There was a flash of sunlight flooding his vision, blowing out his sensations for a millisecond. Then, the bright sunbeams retreated, flickering warmly across his cheeks; he did not want to rouse from his slumber. Even then, the sound of a wooden door creaking open did not seem to perturb him from his drowsy cognizance.
Sunoo felt the mattress he lay on dip on one side as a body climbed carefully beside him. Then, the presence hovered over his body with a lingering silence. He kept his eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering softly on his cheeks. The unknown person was breathing slowly, quietly. Sunoo could sense his heart rate slowing to match the inhales, the exhales. At that moment, a warm breath caresses his lips; the person is leaning over his face with a tantalizing invitation. Let me kiss you. Sunoo obliged.
He feels his arms reach up, resting his palms on the nape of the individual. The hair there is clipped neatly; his hands roam upwards to stroke the longer, silky strands on the crown of their head, the mark of a fringe all familiar to him.
Soothing lips meet his, softly sealing promises into the kiss. His hands wrapped become arms circling shoulders to bring their body closer.
Sunoo-yah.
Smooth palms and gentle fingers graze fondly over the column of his neck, tracing the outlines of his figure. Pants shed, shirts unbuttoned, his member freed from the confines of his briefs.
Lips are everywhere now, canines nibbling into skin to leave behind a trail of pink blossoms of fondness. Sunoo’s spine arches upwards, aching to seek out oversensitivity, to reach closer to the sun. He hears himself moaning when a hot mouth forges a pathway down his torso and pelvis, then onto the planes of his inner thighs. I’ll make you see heaven.
Show me the angels, then.
A warm, wet muscle flattens on his puckered hole, lustfully slicking the region with sticky, heated saliva. Sunoo fists his fingers harder into the sheets, crumpling the fabric in between his digits. He’s barely holding on when the lapping becomes suckling on his hole, sparking a burst of fireworks behind his eyelids. P-please…more…
Deft fingers slip into his heat, crooking deeply and upwards in knowing cadence. Pads of fingertips graze his most sensitive spot buried within him; he’s choking on air now, gasping for mercy. I’m getting close…n-not yet… His hands fly down to grab onto the wrist that angles swiftly and tenderly, thrusting digits into him with a steady pace.
I want us there together, my love.
Sunoo’s body is handled with care and concern; strong hands move his legs upwards to fold his limbs into himself. Sunoo braces himself with his hands behind his knees. At the same time, a hot warmth beckons at the door to his heart, a slicked head of a cock nudging at his entrance.
Breathe – ease up, love.
It’s deep now, veins pulsating with desire and longing. Sunoo is keening in pleasure, eyes still pressed shut as he is deep in a lustful trance. His body may just be bewitched, with how natural the rhythm feels and how his body moves to the music, as if the tempo thrummed within him with innateness. Keep on dancing, continue this waltz with me, it calls forth. Sunoo is climbing his peak, fingers grasping onto handholds as he ascends.
Keep going, keep going, harder, faster.
Anything you want, I swear.
Their fingers intertwine; Sunoo grips down hard, head thrown back in ecstasy. It’s nearly too much; he feels like he will combust any second now. How delicious it is, searing his senses with a bright piquancy.
More, more, more.
You’re all I need.
Fuck me harder, r-right there. Oh god…
I’ve got you, love.
I love you so much, Hoon.
I love you too, Sunoo-yah.
His teary eyes flit open. His vision is hazy, but he makes out pitch-black hair and equally dusky brows. Sharp, deep eyes filled with mirth. Stars dotting unblemished, porcelain skin. Rosy and rounded lips that convey whispers of comfort. A sight that he knows so fucking well. All that he fully desired.
Sunghoon, I love you so much.
It’s like an ice bath drenching his entire soul. Sunoo shoots straight up in bed, panting heavily. He rubbed his eyes furiously, vision filling with the moonlit span of his bedroom, a modest space that he returned to, night after night, for years. He stares out into nothing, consciousness coming to as he tries to recall what awoke him. Raven hair, assured hands, tender disposition.
A dream, it was all a dream.
He groans softly at the sudden jolt of his body from his slumber. Rubbing his face now, he shoves away the fantasies that played out in his unconscious mind. The blonde lies back down onto the mattress, shifting his position to get comfortable again. At that moment, he becomes well aware of the discomfort in his pants. Reaching down, his palms feel the bulge that presses uncomfortably against his briefs. Ah, just his luck.
Sunoo closes his eyes as he slips a hand past the elastic waistband, visions of the prince hanging over him coming forth once more. He wraps his soft palm around his girth, the hardness becoming almost excruciating now. Sunoo breathed out heavily as he stroked himself slowly, from the base to the tip, fingers wrapped beneath the head of his cock in a firm, satisfying hold. Beads of pre-cum begin to stain the fabric pressed over his slit.
“Hngh…ahh…” he moans breathlessly, sweet whines escaping his plush lips.
He pictures Sunghoon pressing into him, sliding into his heat with a sickeningly slow and teasing pace. Sunoo would sob in need, demanding his lover to get going. In response, Sunghoon would be smirking, with that insanely handsome and sly grin of his. He would dip his head down to kiss his imploring advisor sweetly to gain back some trust.
I enjoy hearing you beg, my love. It gets me going.
Sunoo whimpered as his fist moved quicker, picking up an enticing pace. He tugged his briefs off, using his free hand to avoid breaking his tempo. Now, he imagined himself straddling Sunghoon’s lithe torso, knees pressing in to hold his prince in place. It was his turn to be in charge. He would drop his body down, in an even slower momentum than Sunghoon’s. The prince groaned, rather arousingly, begging the blonde to fully engulf his length.
Baby…fuck, I need more.
I’m going to need you to beg harder, hyung.
He smiles innocently, giving Sunghoon a taste of his own medicine. Hands reach up to settle on Sunoo’s waist as he pleads out, softly guiding Sunoo’s gravity further down as he sinks inch by inch. Finally, the blonde bottoms out and they moan simultaneously, delightfully.
He’d roll his hips forward and then buck backward, riding Sunghoon’s thick cock earnestly. His hands would fly back to brace himself on the prince’s muscular thighs, his body leaning rearward and head thrown back. Sweaty strands of blonde hair hang loosely from his scalp; he can’t care how messy he looks and feels because Sunghoon always drank up every angle and image he could capture of Sunoo’s ethereal existence.
Sunoo felt his body grow hotter as he fisted his cock further, and he could see a climax reaching an apex. He bucks into his hand fervently as he panted quietly, falling further into his lust-filled thoughts. “Hoon, I’m coming, I’m coming,” he whines into the nothingness, pathetically.
He remembers vividly how bodies would be meeting in a frenzied contact; Sunoo would feel the head of Sunghoon’s cock pressing further and deeper into his soul every time. The unyielding grip on his waist would be bruising, but that was the last of the advisor’s worries at that moment in time. Make me yours, he would be thinking.
I fucking love you, Sunoo-yah, Sunghoon would profess.
His body convulses and his spine arches off the mattress; warm liquid spurts, coating his grip in evidence of his forbidden yearning. Sunoo moaned quietly, lips parting in a strained sensation as his body twitched from the stimulation. As he catches his breath, he feels wetness streaking his temples. Confused, he reached up and touched his cheeks, the sensation of tears running over his pale skin. He was crying as he stroked himself. Hah, such a pity.
Sunoo lets himself cry more, his unsoiled hand reaching up to muffle his sobs. His lips press into the back of his hand, letting his body wrack in shudders from the overwhelming tears. If circumstances were different, if they never held titles, never were born into already-determined pledges…where would they be now?
Sunoo’s mind wanders to the idea that maybe they would not have crossed paths if not for this painful existence and fated situation. Maybe it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
“Your Highness, have you completed your arithmetic assignment for today?” Sunoo asked from his perch on a leather chair. The royal educational suite within the palace complex is lit by beams of afternoon sunlight that stream through high windows that reach towards the lofty ceilings. Prince Junhyeon is pondering over a booklet opened to rows and columns of number exercises; only a quarter of the calculations have been completed so far after fifteen minutes.
Junhyeon looked up from his spot, brows scrunched up and lips pouted. “Sunoo-hyung, this is too hard,” he lamented.
Sunoo shifted in his seat, closing the leather folio containing plans for the upcoming royal tour that he was reviewing. “Let me see then, I most certainly know you can do it.”
He stepped over, crouching down beside the prince at the child-sized desk that was custom-built for the young boy. Sunoo blinked down at the page of sums, pointing at one of the problems the prince had scrawled an answer for. “See here, Your Highness, can we just add the numbers on the one's place? What would that come out to be?”
“Hmm…” The prince pursed his lips as he worked out the numbers in his head. “Seven.”
Sunoo nodded approvingly. “Yes, correct. Now we combine it with this: what is this number subtracted from what we had here?”
“Twenty!”
“Wonderful, now combine that together.”
The prince brought a small finger to his chin as he did the mental calculations. “...Twenty-seven!”
Sunoo beamed, ruffling the prince’s brunette hair, which fell softly over his head in a more casual style since he had no outside engagements for the day. The prince continued on his math problems, spurred on by the warm encouragement of the Chief Advisor. It was Sunoo’s less occupied days at the palace, so he always designated the time to be with Prince Junhyeon. It brought him much joy and peace to attend to the young boy, who was bright and curious as his natural demeanor.
“Well done, Your Highness. Numbers do suit you, just like with your father. You will outpace all of us before we know it,” Sunoo asserted, earning a squeal and tiny arms wrapped around his torso.
“Really? You really think so? Papa is so smart, I want to be like him when I get older,” the prince squeaked in a muffled voice, as his face was buried into Sunoo’s jacket at this time.
Sunoo smiled forlornly. It was a sweet innocence that reminded him much of Sunghoon’s bright and charismatic personality when they were budding adolescents. It was exactly what Sunoo adored so much about the prince, since he was naturally more reserved and shy from the world, but only broke out of his shell with Sunghoon’s encouragement.
“Papa would like you to surpass what I have achieved, my sweet boy.”
Junhyeon jolted from his embrace around Sunoo’s waist, eyes growing wide from the new visitor that silently entered the room without disrupting their moment. Sunoo felt his heart nudge with a flutter akin to a butterfly’s wings. Junhyeon jumped up and ran towards the source of the voice, who scooped him up immediately and swung the boy’s tiny body into the air and into his hold.
Sunoo rose and bowed deeply at the prince’s entrance. “Your Highness, I did not know you would be stopping by today,” he said, as he straightened back up.
He was met with Sunghoon’s warm gaze, his eyes full of fondness as his lips curved into a soft smile. It was a wonder how Sunghoon managed to get more handsome over the years as his youth fell behind him; his cheekbones and defined jawline became more pronounced yet prepossessing as he reached his thirties. He commanded attention and awe whenever he stepped into rooms with his assured gait and captivating looks, something the prince knew how to use to teasingly charm those around him. Of course, mainly used upon Sunoo, even if he was met with dismissal over the last handful of years.
“The policy meeting concluded early, so I thought I’d come by to visit you both,” Sunghoon replied. “Junhyeon, how is your arithmetic coming along?”
The brown-haired boy pursed his lips immediately – the prince had a distaste for math, typically enjoying more of the arts, such as piano, which he took after his mother, in addition to life sciences, since he loved botany. Junhyeon was often found in the palace garden sketching plants in his drawing pad, while he was silently attended by his guards and his courtier off to the side.
“Aish, nonsense, you are so brilliant, my Junhyeon. You will just need to practice and practice; soon enough, it will be natural to you. It was like that for me when I was a young boy like you,” Sunghoon stated, brushing a finger on his son’s cheek.
Junhyeon giggled at the touch, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck and burying his face there. “Will you stay for my lesson, Papa?”
Sunoo sent a knowing look at the older prince, who shook his head at his son. “I’m sorry, I dearly wish I could. Papa must meet with the Chief of Royal Security very soon; do you remember Heeseung-hyung?”
Junhyeon’s eyes glinted with recognition. “Yes, yes! He gave me sheet music last time, it was for such a beautiful song.”
The boy was referring to the honey-blonde man known for his steadfast, composed tactfulness as he dedicated his adult years to serving the Crown to oversee the safety of the Royal Family. He coordinated daily with Sunoo to plan movements, approve guest lists, and discuss potential risks at any public engagements. Beneath his professional exterior, he was extremely kind-hearted and attentive to the Royal Family and all royal staff. He often struck up conversations with individuals, remembering small details to catch up on their lives and wish them well each time.
Not only did Heeseung have a heart of gold, but he was also a gifted musician. He was known for playing the Bösendorfer grand piano in the reception room late at night, sweet and melodic sonatas drifting through the palace halls in a comforting embrace. He was classically trained under a piano professor at Seoul National University, making him even more charming with his knack for music.
Junhyeon was naturally drawn to the chief, intrigued by his musical inclination. Although he was inspired to learn piano because of his mother, he fell in love with the instrument thanks to Heeseung. The honey-blonde spent evenings seated in front of that piano, with Junhyeon perched beside him. Their fingers moved in complementary rhythm to bring a song composed by Heeseung himself, while the guard sang along with an effortless serenity. It wasn’t a wonder why the young prince was enthralled by him.
Being in charge of all security measures meant Heeseung worked closely with Sunoo. His long hours matched those of Sunoo’s, so he often stopped by in late evenings to bring a warm cup of tea for the advisor when they debriefed Prince Sunghoon’s schedule from the day behind them. Sunoo’s relationship with Heeseun was easy, jokes easily rolled off the tongue, and conversations were light but meaningful; Sunoo was grateful for the guard’s companionship over the years, both sharing the mutual goal of serving the Royal Family with absolute commitment. The pair proved to be an essential part of the palace life, intertwined with all of its affairs quietly and efficaciously.
At the mention of the guard’s name, Junhyeon went into a ramble, recounting the song that Heeseung taught him and even attempting to sing some notes himself. Sunghoon laughed and knelt to set his son down on the ground. “I will have to stop by your piano sessions with Heeseung-ssi soon, then. Sounds lovely,” he commented, pinching his son’s cheek softly.
Sunghoon rose, meeting Sunoo’s level and nodding politely. “Will you join Heeseung and me for the security briefing? It’s regarding the upcoming tour, so it would be pertinent to your preparations,” he asked, dark hair appearing brown in the bright sunlight shining through the education room.
Sunoo knew it was on his schedule for later to discuss it with Heeseung and Sunghoon individually, but since they were already going to be together, he figured it would kill two birds with one stone. Junhyeon was shooting puppy eyes at Sunoo now, clinging to the fabric of his trousers. “You’re leaving too, hyung?”
Sunoo patted Junhyeon’s hair and nodded sadly. “I will come see you before you retire for bed. How does that sound? I could listen to one of your new songs that you’ve been practicing,” he asked, providing a sense of certainty for the young prince.
Junhyeon obliged, waving as his father and his favorite person besides his own parents. The prince’s nanny continued the lesson, helping him with the rest of his arithmetic problems. Sunghoon and Sunoo walked in silence beside one another, heading towards one of the designated meeting rooms of the palace. As they walked, Sunghoon remained oddly quiet to Sunoo’s relief. Sunoo was suddenly reminded of their heated exchange a few weeks prior, something that he vehemently avoided addressing after the passion subsided to a quiet in his veins. He felt his cheeks flush with a pink, which he did his best to hide with the bangs of his blonde hair.
Once they reached the room, the security chief rose and bowed deeply at the prince’s entrance. “Your Highness, thank you for meeting with me,” he said, smiling widely.
Sunghoon returned the greeting, shaking his head. “No, it is my honor to have your time. Please, let’s discuss what we need to prepare for the upcoming tour so I don’t take up more of your afternoon. I hope you don’t mind, I asked Sunoo-ssi to be present for this.”
“No problem at all, thank you for joining, Sunoo-ssi.”
Sunoo found himself in the midst of the preparatory meeting in anticipation of the Royal Tour that the prince and princess would be taking with the young prince, to visit Commonwealth territories of the Korean Empire. It was much like the ones that Sunghoon and the Crown Prince would take many summers ago as young adults to expand their engagements and establish their appreciation across the territories.
“We anticipate there to be increased risk when entering the Hanseong Islands; despite the efforts to assuage the residents, there is still a lingering animosity that they hold because of imperial development for the new naval base project that was implemented,” Heeseung said, as he sat beside Sunoo before Sunghoon’s desk. “Many not only lost their homes and were forced to relocate, but also had to pay higher taxes because of the new project. We will have more guards assigned once we arrive in the territory, but we will really have to ensure you and your family’s safety.”
Sunghoon nodded, glancing at the pages of the security report that Heeseung provided to him. “Ensure that Junhyeon has somebody with him at all times, even if it may feel invasive to him and his nanny. We can’t risk anything happening to the young prince,” he responded, which Heeseung notes in his papers.
“Also,” Sunghoon continued. “We need an entire team on Sunoo-ssi at all times as well, please keep that in mind.”
Sunoo turned his head. It wasn’t typical of the Chief Advisor to have more than one guard on watch for his own safety, since the Royal Family was of higher priority. Heeseung’s brow raised in a similar wonder as Sunoo. He was well aware of the prince and his advisor’s long-rooted friendship, but he always did a double-take at how cautious Sunghoon was about Sunoo’s safety every time – this time was different, with the push for a much higher coverage for the blonde.
Sunghoon was glancing over at Sunoo now, who looked away to avoid any chance of catching his emotions. It irked him with how much Sunghoon pushed the boundaries to try and win his attention back in the way it was before; Sunoo couldn’t let himself concede as powerlessly as before.
“Yes, Your Highness. I will also be directly accompanying the Advisor to coordinate, so his safety will be overseen by me as well,” Heeseung replied, jotting more down in his file.
Sunoo blinked at the security chief, confused. “Heeseung-ssi, I don’t think that will be necessary. You must have other things to tend to during this tour, and I should be the least of your worries,” he implored, shaking his head.
A hand rested on Sunoo’s thigh comfortingly, as Heeseung smiled at him. “It makes sense that it should be necessary to look after the reason why this Royal Family functions so smoothly; it won’t be an issue as I have appointed some new agents with my team.”
Sunoo’s breath hitched, unfamiliar with the strange intimacy of Heeseung’s touch. They were definitely close, but it was always cordial and friendly between them; never crossing any boundaries since Sunoo was never remotely interested in the older man. A red flush appeared over his cheeks as Sunoo shifted his legs so that Heeseung’s hand fell away from him, neither of them addressing the tiny gesture.
Sunoo could feel Sunghoon’s eyes flitting down to where Heeseung touched the blonde’s leg, a piquant flare of jealousy could be felt from across the table. Sunoo coughed to clear the heavy air.
“I don’t need extra protection,” Sunoo mumbled, tapping his pen on his folder.
“Nonsense, the public knows how critical your role is to the Royal Family; there is a possibility that someone could want to hurt you,” Sunghoon asserted.
Heeseung was nodding. “Your Royal Highness is right, we should look into making this a permanent adjustment. We’ve intercepted intel recently that targeted the Royal Advisor directly, so this is a risk we should not ignore.”
Sunoo sighed in surrender, which he feared had happened too much in response to the prince, “Alright then.”
Sunoo could recall the day he learned of Sunghoon’s emergence as a father; it was a chilly morning in August, which would not last long with the depth of Korea’s muggy summers. On that predestined warm day, Sunoo was accompanying the prince on a state visit to an opening ceremony of a prestigious hospital in Ulsan, a southern city neighboring the East Sea. They rode the royal car, taking them further and further away from the inner city of Seoul, passing by vast highways and eventually being surrounded by endless fields and lush greenery.
Sunghoon seemed nervous, fiddling with the hem of his blazer; Sunoo took notice but decided not to inquire about what was on his mind.
Finally, after what felt like ages, the prince spoke quietly. “Sunoo-yah, could I tell you something?”
Sunoo stiffened, expecting one of his repeated confessions of love – instead, he was met with something that would rock his world forever.
“Um…I wanted to tell you directly so you heard it from me first. I…Wonyoung-ssi and I…we are expecting a child.”
The advisor froze, his pen stopping in its place on the page he was jotting down notes for a speech he was preparing for the prince.
“We just found out – last night, in fact,” the prince continued, rubbing his hands in uneasiness.
Sunoo wanted to throw up because, although he knew this was imminent and foreseen for the prince and the duchess with their next duty to produce an heir, it still gave Sunoo much discomfort to accept the reality.
“Ahh…I see, Your Highness. Congratulations to you and Lady Wonyoung,” Sunoo replied, bringing his emotions to a simmer.
Sunghoon only frowned, sighing anxiously. “I…I don’t think I’m ready to have a child, especially with someone who doesn’t fully know me.”
The advisor blinked at the prince, unable to hold back what he said next. “Well, you did consummate your marriage and fulfill your duty to produce a future heir. I would say she knows you in at least one way.”
Sunghoon’s mouth dropped in an agape expression, unable to respond to the advisor’s callousness. Sunoo knew he shouldn’t have said it, but he gripped the pen harder and looked back down at the paper in front of him, words starting to jumble together in a tangle.
“I…I don’t know what to say, Sunoo-yah,” Sunghoon replied, in disbelief.
“I apologize for my brashness, Your Highness. That was wrong of me,” Sunoo quickly responded, capping his pen.
Sunghoon held his tongue, staring deeply upon Sunoo’s face, at which the advisor could sense the heavy gaze.
“You know very well that I wish it were you I could have a family with,” the prince breathed out, the words stabbing Sunoo straight in his chest with cutting honesty. It was so natural for Sunghoon to wear his feelings on his sleeve, something Sunoo never allowed himself to do with his position. Sunoo knew that this was what drew him in the first place to Sunghoon, and even if it was difficult, it was something that he still admired about the prince.
On the other hand, Sunoo knew his every shortcoming was overlooked by Sunghoon ever since they were boys; the difficulty of expressing his true thoughts was always eliminated by Sunghoon’s ability to read him so well, which became a hindrance over the recent years as he began to retreat into himself to protect his heart.
“You don’t mean that, it’s your duty to produce an heir of your own blood with someone of royal standing,” Sunoo stated.
“I do mean it, and I know what my duty is. It’s still what I wish for,” Sunghoon retorted, looking away with an expression mixed with frustration and shame.
Sunoo was always amazed at how brave the older man was with him, no matter how audacious his words were.
“Hah, I cannot even give you a child. You speak so foolishly, Your Highness. I wish you and Lady Wonyoung a smooth and safe pregnancy; the heir will be loved by all.” With this, Sunoo closed his folio, closing off his heart once again with the painful news.
Nine months later, Prince Junhyeon was born, his name meaning talented and virtuous. He came into the world wailing, peach pink cheeks on pale skin contrasted with a full head of dark hair. The country reveled in his precious innocence and became the symbol of the empire’s modern future. Everyone was also overjoyed at how the young prince took after Sunghoon’s raven-black hair and charming smile while perfectly juxtaposing his mother’s cherubic, soft features.
Sunoo had the honor of meeting the young prince within hours of his birth, his eyes watering at how beautiful the newest member of the Royal Family was. Junhyeon was peacefully sleeping, yawning quietly as he stretched his neck and settled into the blanket cocoon that the nurses wrapped him in.
Sunoo was amazed, taking in every inch of the baby’s delicateness; he was captivated by how similar his sweet little lips resembled his father’s. The advisor could already picture the wide, charismatic smiles and cute little pouts on the young prince’s face once he was a bit older.
It was a wonder how a little human could be a representation of so much love, bringing a huge swell to his aching heart.
It was then that Sunoo vowed to give his entire being to protecting the child and supporting the family in any way he could to nurture Junhyeon. Deep in his heart, it was a way to keep on loving Sunghoon, even if it was indirectly – it was enough for Sunoo.
Junhyeon was laughing, giggling in the twinkling blue sea as he splashed around, kicking water behind him as his father held him at his waist to support his little body. He was not yet trained in swimming, but proved to be an adventurous child, braving new challenges as long as his father was with him.
Sunoo could see the pair while onshore, as he was fully dressed in an attire not quite fit for the beach, but appropriate for him as a Royal Advisor overseeing the prince and his family’s affairs as they were on the royal tour.
They were currently in Jeju-do, an island of the Korean Empire famous for its gorgeous landscape, mandarin oranges, and grilled black pork. It was a stop before their next arrival at the Hanseong Islands, where Heeseung advised for increased security.
Jeju-do was considered a very beautiful location for vacationing, but Sunoo never quite had the luxury to venture out of the Royal Family’s presence; therefore, it was moments like this where he treasured the chance to feel the warm sun tickling his pale skin.
Wonyoung was lounging at a sunchair nearby, shaded by a large white umbrella set up by some of the accompanying palace staff; she was deeply engrossed with a book about exotic botanicals on Jeju, which she expressed an interest in seeing with Junhyeon the next day. Occasionally, she would look up to admire her family playing in the ocean and waving at her son when he shouted for her in glee. Not too far away, Sunoo stood quietly in wait just in case the princess required anything from him.
The prince and his son continued their swimming, Sunghoon throwing Junhyeon up in the air to elicit shrieks from the tiny boy as he crashed into the water in a large splash, startling staff with every toss. Sunoo could hear how Wonyoung giggled, fawning over the sight of her two boys.
“Sunoo-ssi, would you care to join me?”
The advisor turned to see Wonyoung, waving a gentle hand to beckon him over to her side, where she had another empty chair originally set up for Sunghoon. She was wearing her hair in a loose braid, which was a favorite casual style of hers ever since she gave birth to Junhyeon; she claimed that it was the easiest way to wear her hair while tackling motherhood. Sunoo agreed that it must be more convenient, admiring how effortlessly lovely she always presented herself, no matter what the situation was.
Wonyoung was still smiling as she waited for Sunoo to reply. “Oh, you must say yes; you’ve been overworking yourself for this tour so you should reap the rewards of all your efforts. It has all been going so smoothly so far,” she called out, which made Sunoo give in to the princess’s request, because who was to say no to someone so sweet as her?
Sunoo returned the smile, stepping over the hot sand to sit by her side on the empty sunchair. He bowed politely before settling into his seat. It was always quite comfortable between them; their ability to soak in each other’s presence in complete silence was something Sunoo found rare nowadays, since he used to rely on Sunghoon for that when they were young.
“How have you been? I know it has been quite a long time since you’ve gotten a break — I’ve been meaning to plan to have Jungwon-ssi take over for you again temporarily so you could have a chance to breathe a bit before the holiday season,” Wonyoung said, her expression looking apologetic.
“No, nonsense, Your Highness; I’ve been faring well, no need to worry about me when you have your hands full with diplomatic affairs and caring for Junhyeon. You do manage yourself so well, I admire you for that,” Sunoo replied, shaking his hands in front of him to rid her of her forlorn expression.
Wonyoung whined in feigned annoyance, slightly jutting her bottom lip out. “Aish, you need to stop flattering me when you’re the one who runs it all for us; we would be nothing without you. Besides, I think you deserve time off. Go vacation somewhere beautiful, tell me all the fun stories you collect along the way,” she said, waving her arms in a gentle delight.
Sunoo knew that the princess was saying these things because she also wanted to live vicariously through him as well; she always talked about visiting Milan, Italy, for the fashion and culture, and then Madeira, Portugal, for its lush forests and botanical gardens. Sunoo would sigh at the idea of vacationing with her, since he had a shared interest in fashion as well, and Wonyoung often asked him for advice on outfits to wear for her royal engagements. “You style me better than our royal tailor,” she’d say, cheekily rolling her eyes at the older woman in the corner of the princess’s dressing room.
Sunoo rested his chin in his palm, gazing into the distance where the ocean met the sky. “It would be an honor, but I truly wish I could enjoy traveling to our dream destinations together. It wouldn’t be the same without you, especially how much we talk about that famous risotto dish,” he mirrored her pout, which made her scrunch up her nose at his antics. Sunoo laughed aloud as she pushed him playfully.
The princess was always so considerate of Sunoo, caring for him and being a refreshing presence in his life amidst the endless duties he drowned himself in. She became his closest companion over the years, which fulfilled the void that was left behind after his rift with Sunghoon. Wonyoung made for a better friend anyway, seeing that they shared many interests in arts and culture. The only thing that gnawed away at Sunoo was the weight of his guilt from being in love with the man that she was married to.
All of a sudden, Wonyoung suddenly grasped his wrist, making him widen his eyes.
“Oh, what is it, Your Highness?” he asked, face concerned.
She had a sly smile on her lips, which was uncommon for her to do so. Sunoo knew that she had something sneaky to discuss with her trusted advisor.
“Sunoo-ssi, I really want to ask you for a favor,” she said, now holding his hands in hers.
Sunoo nodded.
“So, I have been thinking that I haven’t had much quality time with Sunghoon-ssi lately; he seems to have a lot on his plate with recent Parliament meetings, so I haven’t seen him much lately,” she explained.
It was true, the prince was up to his ears with recent government affairs, which involved not only his presence and influence but also that of the Crown Prince, his older brother Jay. It did not help that the royal couple followed tradition and did not sleep in shared quarters within the palace, making their interactions fleeting when it got busy for either of them.
“I wanted to ask if you could watch Junhyeon for the rest of the evening, just for tonight. I want to ask Sunghoon to take me for a drive around Jeju, maybe drive up to Hallasan too.”
Wonyoung was already imagining the brief road trip with her husband, eyes glittering with happiness. “Of course, if you think that is too much of a burden, I would not place that upon you; Junhyeon has his nanny available, but he just truly adores you and prefers your attention over hers,” she continued.
Sunoo felt a pang of envy for a moment, the tiniest inkling of jealousy over the prospect of spending undivided time with Sunghoon rising from deep within him. He nearly had to pinch himself when he realized what he was feeling; his immediate habit was to suppress the thoughts and avoid addressing them at all.
Nodding politely, he smiled and was now the one to hold her hands. “Your Highness, it would be my pleasure to watch the young prince tonight. Please have a good time with the Prince,” he responded, seeing Wonyoung’s eyes light up again.
“Oh, thank you, Sunoo-ssi, you are truly an angel!” Wonyoung exclaimed, jumping up to hug him and kiss his cheeks happily.
It was truly one of his greatest honors to witness the princess in such an elated and pure state, the less polished version of herself that was usually hidden away from public eye and flashing cameras. However, he knew that he must keep his darkest secret away from ever surfacing and finding its way to Wonyoung. Sunoo couldn’t bear ruining someone else’s life for his own wrongdoings and uncontrollable desires.
“Of course, for you my Royal Highness,” Sunoo replied, hugging her back, with a twang of guilt still afflicting his mind.
Later in the evening, Junhyeon and Sunoo were lounging on the floor of the young prince’s room, playing a simple card game. Junhyeon stared at the fan of cards before him, pondering his next move. At this age, he wasn’t exactly sure how to plot out a strategy and went with his innocent instincts.
“Sunoo-hyung, I’m not sure what to do,” he said, sadly, giving the advisor a pout.
Sunoo giggled at his sweetness, gesturing to the boy to show him the cards he was dealt. At that moment, they heard a door crack open, and they began to hear light laughter floating in the hall. The prince and royal consort must have returned from their evening outing, reveling in the private time they had for themselves.
“Oh, mother and papa are back,” Junhyeon said, eyes glowing with contentment.
Sunoo glanced over his shoulder towards the direction of the voices, which carried an air of tenderness with each word. A nagging sensation formed in the blonde’s stomach once again, looking back at the prince’s cards to distract himself.
The door cracked open in the next moment, Wonyoung’s head poking inside as she peered inside to meet her son’s gaze. “Junhyeonnie, darling! We’ve returned,” she said, kneeling to hug her son as he ran towards her.
Sunghoon appeared behind her, his windswept hair brushed back by his hand and his button-down loosely buttoned in a relaxed manner. He looked content, admiring his wife and son in a sweet moment.
Sunoo stood to bow at their entrance. “How was your evening, Your Highnesses?” he asked.
The prince nodded in acknowledgement, smiling warmly at his past lover. “It was very pleasant, thank you. It was nice to drive around myself rather than being chauffeured,” Sunghoon replied.
“Oh, he was driving like he was on an F1 track; he was overjoyed to be behind the wheel,” Wonyoung remarked, picking up Junhyeon before pinching her husband’s cheek.
Sunghoon feigned being in pain, then shrugged. “I don’t get this experience often, dear. I might as well take advantage of it.”
The family had a moment where they told Junhyeon what they did, telling him that they appreciated him spending time with Sunoo to allow them to have their own time. They bid each other good night, and the royal couple retreated to their shared room within the vacation home Sunoo had booked for their stay. It was just about half past nine, which was generous for Junhyeon’s bedtime, so he gently encouraged the young prince to get dressed for bed by his nanny.
By the time he left Junhyeon’s room after a bout of reading his favorite bedtime stories, Sunoo was feeling incredibly sleepy himself. He slipped out of the young prince’s bedroom and headed for his own room across the vacation home. His feet padded lightly across the marble floors, doing his best to remain quiet so as not to disturb anyone sleeping.
At the turn of the corner, he was met with the door to the room of the royal couple. The ornate door was closed, ominously haunting Sunoo with its presence. He breathed deeply, closing his eyes at the overwhelming thoughts that flooded his mind. As if it couldn’t be more disconcerting already, he heard soft rustling behind the doors and whispers drifting into his hearing.
“A-ahh…Sunghoon…”
A familiar sigh, then moans sounded, reverberating within his mind like an eerie dream surfacing. With this, Sunoo froze in place, realizing what he was overhearing. Turning quickly on his heel, he began walking away quickly; his mind suddenly in a flurry of thoughts to the point that he wasn’t thinking about how loud his footsteps might have been.
For some reason, things were feeling harder to swallow lately, despite how well he kept down his feelings over the years. Perhaps I’m reaching a breaking point, Sunoo thought to himself, as he found himself standing in front of large floor-to-ceiling windows in the drawing room, overlooking the Jeju coastline.
Sunoo stood alone in the drawing room, the ticking of a grandfather clock echoing in a dismal tone. It confused him; how did he hold in these emotions for so long while he served the prince and the royal consort tirelessly for years? What was the reason for this sudden shift in his ability to regulate his thoughts from consuming him?
Perhaps it was the way the couple began to truly fill into their role as a family unit, with Junhyeon creating a synergy between Sunghoon and Wonyoung. Perhaps it was Junhyeon giving them a reason to truly see a deeper appreciation for each other, for the young prince brought out the best in each of them and made it even more apparent how they were a strong match.
Perhaps it was also because Sunoo felt like he could not ever experience this for himself in this lifetime; he was dealt a bitter fate disguised as a blessing and honorable job, serving the Royal Family as their closest advisor.
Hot tears fell onto his shirt. The blonde was startled at how quickly a deluge of tears started involuntarily. Sunoo quickly wiped his face, sniffling softly as he refocused his vision on the dark horizon, lit by the reflection of the full moon hanging in the sky.
“Sunoo-ssi?”
Startled once again, Sunoo turned to see Heeseung standing in the doorway, appearing concerned. “O-oh, Heeseung-ssi, I did not see you there,” Sunoo wiped his cheek quickly and sniffed to rid himself of how choked up he must have sounded.
Heeseung remained silent, brows furrowed in worry. His honey-colored hair appeared darker in the nightfall, as his strong features were highlighted by the gleam of the lustrous moonlight. “I heard someone walking in the halls and wanted to check in – I did not realize it was you at this hour,” he replied, softly.
“Ahh, I’m sorry for disturbing you,” Sunoo said, regrettably.
The Chief of Security shook his head. “It’s my job.”
After some silence that fell between them, Heeseung cleared his throat. “Are you alright, Sunoo-ssi?”
Sunoo was never one to cry in front of anyone; nonetheless, in front of Heeseung, with whom he worked closely throughout his tenure as Chief Advisor. Even more so, how was he going to explain the reason for his tears?
“I-I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” Sunoo murmured, looking away.
Heeseung was quiet once again, expression pensive as he was reading Sunoo’s body language carefully.
“Want to have some tea together? I was planning to go over some briefings before tomorrow night’s departure. I could use some company.”
Sunoo wasn’t sure how he conceded to Heeseung’s suggestion, as he curled up in the ornate armchair of Heeseung’s room and sipped on warm Earl Grey tea. He stared down into the cup of amber liquid, steam curling upwards into the air. On the other side of the room, Heeseung was scanning through documents and occasionally thumbing through pages, the quiet scratching of his pen filling the comforting ambiance of the room.
Despite how relaxed he was feeling at the moment, Sunoo thought back on the recent meeting with Sunghoon, when Heeseung had touched his leg briefly to soothe him. The advisor was still scratching his head at the sudden shift in behavior, but tried to shake it off, especially since they were in proximity again.
“Heeseung-ssi, have you ever had doubts about working for the Royal Family?” Sunoo asked.
Heeseung paused his writing, glancing up at the blonde.
“I have, yes, but that was years ago,” the older man admitted.
Sunoo took a careful sip of his tea. “…Would you be comfortable sharing what happened?”
Heeseung contemplated for a moment, pursing his lips slightly. He nibbled on his bottom lip for a moment. “It was because of love.”
Sunoo tilted his head. This was his first time hearing of this.
“I fell in love with someone that I shouldn’t have, truth be told. It was someone who worked closely with the Royal Family, which made it quite difficult to do my job clearly without feeling jaded or distracted by my feelings,” Heeseung confessed.
Sunoo gulped, feeling oddly seen. “What happened? How did you get through it?” the blonde asked, in a small voice.
“Honestly, it was difficult. I think it helped because of the distance that we put between ourselves, so I don’t see them much anymore, and it made the heartbreak intense but more bearable than anything, I suppose. I didn’t have to go into work, seeing their face so often.”
Itchingly, Sunoo was suddenly curious to whom Heeseung was referring, since he knew the older man worked for the Royals for years, and the timeline of this romance definitely overlapped while Sunoo was Sunghoon’s advisor.
“If…you don’t mind me asking…who were you seeing? Did I know them?” Sunoo asked, hesitantly.
Heeseung laughed, pushing up the glasses he was wearing for his briefing. “Yeah, you did, actually. Quite well.”
Sunoo blinked blankly before taking another sip of tea. “Oh.”
“It was, uh….Jaeyun-ssi. Sim Jaeyun-ssi.”
Sunoo nearly spat out his drink, choking and coughing harshly as he tried to regain his composure. Heeseung nearly jumped out of his seat to soothe Sunoo, who waved his hand in the air while he cleared his throat.
“Ahem, that…was unexpected, but I’m actually not surprised; I knew him for a long time and he never mentioned anything,” Sunoo finally responded.
Heeseung covered his face. “Maybe I should not have said anything,” he groaned.
Sunoo giggled, wiping a lone tear from his eye that came as an aftermath of his coughing fit. “No, no, thank you for being comfortable with me to share that. I’m just…bewildered that I did not realize it.”
Heeseung sighed, placing his pen down on the desk before crossing his arms. “Yeah, he was probably my first love. I met him at university, and he changed my life. I knew you were close with him from secondary school, but I was afraid to mention it to you, since it involved someone so close to the prince, and it could evoke some scandal. I really tried to brush it off, telling myself that it was just a silly infatuation formed in my youth.”
Jaeyun was indeed Sunoo’s childhood friend through Sunghoon; they were known as a trio in their boarding school, and often, it meant Sunoo was teased by Sunghoon while Jaeyun would be egging the older boy on. Then Jaeyun would turn on the prince to be overprotective of the blonde. Sunoo found the boy to be silly and warm-hearted in all contexts, so it was interesting when he chose to go down a state official route for his career. However, being the son of a duke meant he was frowned upon if he did not seek out a productive role to serve the Korean Empire.
Unfortunately, Sunoo hadn’t heard from Jaeyun for a few years now, since he worked in a more public relations front for the Parliament. It was shocking to know that Heeseung was pursuing him for a period of time, something Jaeyun never let Sunoo privy to, and since he was now married to a duchess from a high-ranking family, Sunoo wondered whether Sunghoon was aware of this, considering the two spoke more often due to their close friendship.
Sunoo tilted his head, pouting slightly. “I see. Did Jaeyun know how you felt?”
Heeseung paused before nodding. “He felt the same for me, which rocked my entire world. We started seeing each other secretly, since I was training for the security team and he wanted to go into a government role. It just didn’t look good from any angle, since I had such a huge duty I wanted to undertake, and he was expected to be betrothed to a family friend. I knew I had to cut it off.
“I ended things with him nearly a decade ago. It’s haunted me ever since, but I know it was the right thing,” Heeseung sighed, looking forlorn.
Sunoo was silent, taking in the honesty. He hugged his knees, something he never had the chance to do in the Royal Palace because he was practically on at all times — he felt lucky to have moments of normalcy while in the presence of Heeseung.
“I do…have a new problem, however,” Heeseung said, glancing in the blonde’s direction.
Sunoo met his eyes, which were now filled with something different.
“Sunoo-ssi, are you seeing anyone at the moment?”
The advisor froze.
“W-what are you saying?” Sunoo stuttered, suddenly feeling his pulse quickening in a weird sensation.
Heeseung gulped, hesitating to proceed. “I…have been battling these thoughts for some time, Sunoo-ssi. I just have been confused, myself — a lot on my mind like you said you’ve been dealing with; it’s been weighing heavily on me.”
It was the roundabout rambling that told Sunoo everything he needed to know. Heeseung had developed feelings for him.
“Sunoo-ssi, I think I have been pining over you for some time…and I’m truly at a loss for what I should even do.”
Sunoo’s world jerked to a stop, his body feeling a rush like he was shoved forward and tumbling into a whirlpool. Was he hearing him right?
“Y-you don’t have to reciprocate my feelings, I just needed to get it off my chest. I know you already have much to worry about. I truly apologize,” Heeseung began blurting out as he saw Sunoo’s body language shift dramatically.
Sunoo opened his mouth to say something, but nothing escaped his lips. He felt like he was being held back by an invisible force. It wasn’t like he had any inkling of interest in the older man; over the years, the advisor was forcing himself to avoid any kind of chance of giving in to Sunghoon once again, so that he never considered the idea of even moving on to someone else.
“I…had no idea,” Sunoo finally murmured, fingers clasped together in his lap now.
Heeseung visibly looked embarrassed, something that was rare for the chief of security. “Please don’t take any offense; if anything, I just wanted to let you know that I find you to be so hardworking and kind. I adore seeing you with Prince Junhyeon and how you carry yourself with so much grace. Not to mention…you are beautiful, Sunoo-ssi.”
Sunoo blushed at the older man’s words, unable to process the moment and having difficulty accepting the compliments. He knew he was all of those things, but to hear it from someone so close to him felt jarringly foreign to him.
“Have I scared you away? I do not want this to change anything about our working relationship, although I know that may be very difficult, especially if you’re uncomfortable,” Heeseung continued. “I understand if this feels inappropriate to you.”
“I…” Sunoo began, swallowing thickly. He wasn’t sure what to say, knowing his heart was screaming at him voraciously.
“I’m very flattered, Heeseung-ssi. I…unfortunately have my heart set on someone else, already.”
It was nearly enough to make Sunoo want to vomit on the spot with anxiety. He had never admitted that to anyone, that he held love for someone — for Sunghoon. Sunoo felt like his head was spinning, misaligned on a new, jumbled axis.
“I see,” Heeseung replied quietly. The man glanced out the window behind him, which was adjacent to the desk in the room. Moonlight was still pouring through, persisting through the late night like an omnipresent being privy to one’s deepest secrets. This time, Heeseung and Sunoo bared their hearts; unfortunately, one was unrequited.
“Will you give me a chance, perhaps?” Heeseung inquired, a semblance of hope splaying across his features.
“I’m not sure I can…I truly don’t want to hurt you, Heeseung-ssi,” Sunoo answered softly.
It was a strange moment of reality for the advisor. He truly just admitted to himself that, yes, he was still deeply in love with the prince. Something he vehemently denied himself of for what felt like an eternity, lifetimes, endless suffering.
Heeseung sighed quietly before shifting his gaze onto Sunoo once more. He stepped over to the blonde, kneeling in front of him on the ground before Sunoo, where he sat.
“I…am one to endure a whole lot before I fully concede. Please, I just want to show you how much I really care for you and your heart. I can see you hurting, I’m not sure from what, but it saddens me so,” Heeseung professed.
Sunoo felt Heeseung reach up to touch his cheek, gently. His heart thrummed with chaos simmering beneath his skin. Would indulging in Heeseung make his heart finally move on from Sunghoon? It was twisted of him to consider potentially hurting Heeseung in the name of relinquishing his bad desires — but maybe…it was something he hadn’t considered entirely.
Sunoo’s skin was left buzzing where Heeseung made contact with his face, staring into the older man’s eyes and truly taking in his handsomeness for the first time. Sunoo felt like he was dying, betraying his intense love for Sunghoon from the very start.
After a hesitant silence, he felt his head nodding, an ever-so slight movement to signal his concession. Then Heeseung reached forward to gently hold his chin and lift his gaze upward. Sunoo held his breath as his eyes fluttered shut, eyelids minusculely quivering with tension. Heeseung’s breath brushed over his lips in a final question, a final request for confirmation.
Yes, okay.
Their lips met in a soft unity; the whole experience was a gentle one. Sunoo was confused, his mind unfamiliar with a different mouth on his. He pushed through the strange discomfort that only came from within his body, so Sunoo decided to make the move to deepen the kiss.
Heeseung froze for a split second, unprepared for Sunoo’s boldness. Then, after moments of shock, he melted into the touch, kissing back with a tender fervor.
Sunoo felt his body moving involuntarily, going through the motions to kiss Heeseung with a stormy fierceness. His hands moved to hold Heeseung’s face, mouth licking into the older man’s and tasting the lingering sweetness from the tea he was drinking while he worked. Sunoo heard a quiet whine escape from the back of his throat as the man slid his hands around his waist, pulling Sunoo closer and closer.
The advisor felt his body being lifted effortlessly, feeling weightless as Heeseung picked him up and brought him over to his bed. As he lay back, hair splayed onto the duvet, Sunoo felt an anxiousness roll over him, wondering if he was going down a rocky, dangerous path that he would never be able to come back from. Fuck, was this wrong? What was he doing?
Heeseung seemed to sense Sunoo’s inner turmoil and stopped immediately, pulling back. Sunoo snapped back into his senses as the older man put distance between them suddenly.
“If you’re not okay with this…we don’t need to go any further. I don’t want to push you into anything, Sunoo-ssi.”
Sunoo felt tears prickling at his eyes, unsure of why a sudden sadness filled him. “No, no…don’t leave,” he began, the pleading voice tinged with patheticness. The image of Sunghoon making love to Wonyoung flooded his mind and made him feel nauseous, the quiet moans and soft touches across skin he had memorized like the back of his hand.
Then, Sunoo felt his body moving automatically again; he wrapped his legs around Heeseung’s torso, hands reaching up to bring the older man down close once more. Heeseung let out a soft gasp before seeing the desperation in Sunoo’s eyes.
“It’s okay, I’m here,” Heeseung assured, running a hand through Sunoo’s hair, causing the blonde to shiver at the sensation. It was so long since anyone touched him like this; his stonewalled mind was unaware of how starved for physical connection he had been for so long.
Sunoo pulled Heeseung in for a long kiss once again, lips moving ardently against each other.
“P-please…make me forget, make me feel good,” Sunoo whispered against his lips.
Before he knew it, he fell into Heeseung, inviting strong hands to explore his body and beckon him into a newfound rhythm. Sunoo became blinded with the need to reach bliss, climbing over Heeseung as they switched between positions and heated makeouts; he lowered himself down Heeseung’s length, the two groaning in sync. Sunoo rode him passionately, throwing his head back in ecstasy as Heeseung thrusted upwards to meet him in the middle.
“Heeseung, more, more,” Sunoo begged. His eyes were running with tears now, playing it off as a product of overwhelming pleasure.
The night felt endless as they fucked over and over, emotions running high as Sunoo desperately needed to seek relief and numbness. He felt his past grievances slipping away, even if it was just a temporary respite.
Heeseung held him tenderly, understanding the younger’s need for comfort. Perhaps it was a mutual benefit for both of them, and Sunoo couldn’t be bothered to look back in this moment in time.
Despite his willingness to try and let go, his heart still clung on tight. He blinked, and suddenly he saw Sunghoon above him, thrusting into him with infatuation and devotion into every breath he exhaled.
Sunoo gasped, feeling like he was choking on air and drowning altogether. Tears fell harder as he shut his eyes in intense guilt.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you, I’m so sorry.