Chapter Text
🎼 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓻 𝓭𝓮 𝓜𝓲 -- 𝒩𝒶𝓉𝒶𝓁𝒾𝒶 ℒ𝒶𝒻ℴ𝓊𝓇𝒸𝒶𝒹ℯ
Y/n has always despised the sounds of alarm clocks. She and Sugawara used to always bicker around their utility. “If I have to start the day,” she’d argue, “I want to do it on my own terms, not to the piercing sound of apocalypse sirens at 7:59 a.m.” Today, she didn’t want to get up at all. The bed was warm but empty, yet it still felt more comforting than her empty apartement. Y/n never took herself for the type of person that would miss someone’s simple presence. Yet she missed how loud his laugh would echo within these walls. She longed for when the mellow sound of his morning voice would replace the shrill of her alarms. Today again, she extended her hand to the other pillow and was met with nothing but the gentle feeling of cold linen sheets under her fingers.
She sighed deeply and reached for her phone on the night stand. 8:24AM. She was almost half an hour behind schedule. « Shit. » she whispered to herself while hurriedly getting out of bed. She rushed to her bathroom and before hopping in the shower, took a quick glance at herself in the mirror. She looked exhausted. Her complexion was getting paler from the lack of sunlight in the last week or so. And the darkness under her eyes also gave it away. No need for alarms, she barely slept anyways.
After getting dressed, she wondered if she should put on makeup today. She didn’t want him to get worried about her. Not when she was just about to leave so far away. But a part of her wanted him to see her like that. To understand how deep she was hurting. Perhaps he was hurting as well. She knew he was, and that didn’t make her feel better at all. She settled on light make up, some concealer and a bit of blush. This camouflage did nothing, the pain still lingered on her features.
When she was done getting ready, she went in the kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee and something to eat. She gave up on the later quickly, the overwhelming memories of the space filled her up and left no place for any appetite. A text message made her phone ring in her back-pocket. It was Sugawara. He and Daichi were on the way to the apartment. She hadn’t seen him in a little over 2 weeks. After their argument, if you can even call it as such, he left for his friends house. « To leave her some space » he said. But she was convinced it was because he couldn’t bear to see her pack their last 5 years together away in 2 checked bags and a carry on. Perhaps she was right. But it didn’t matter. She was leaving anyway.
She had packed away the last bit of her stuff in one of the moving boxes. A lucky charm. The lucky charm he gave her the first time they went to visit temple together for new years. Acting careful that no eyes were on her in this empty apartment, she carefully slid the good luck charm in a suitcase. The doorbell rang and she jumped, as if guilty of a sin she hadn't committed. She felt ashamed, it was unlike her to not know when to let go. She slowly got up and opened the door and was faced by him, alone. His face was distorted, seeming both uncomfortable and sad at the same time, trying to avoid her gaze. «You ready? ». He was now looking directly into her eyes. She knew his question wasn’t about the suitcases behind her, or about the lease documents to sign. « Yeah. ». He smiled at her, « You’re not the type to give up easily. I always loved this about you.» She looked away, « Don’t. Please. » He nodded in understanding and went in to grab the bags.
The ride to the airport was awfully quiet, only broken at times by some attempts of small talk by Daichi, or from Sugawara clearing his throat. After what seemed like forever, they arrived at the departure terminal. They helped her unload the bags and it was finally time for goodbyes. Daichi went first, gave her a friendly hug, and went on about how he wished her all the best in this new journey. To be fair, she wasn’t fully paying attention, too busy staring at Sugawara standing behind him. Once Daichi finally released her from his embrace, she smiled at him before stepping towards Sugawara. « I’ll miss you. » she said, « I guess you probably already know that but— ». He didn’t let her finish. His arms wrapped around her in an instant, holding her close as if trying to memorize her scent one last time. She felt tears running down her face, her throat started to sting as she hugged him tighter. « I’ll text you. » he said quietly as he let go. « We are always behind you, no matter what. ». His face wore a warm expression, but she could see through his eyes, the pain that lied within. She turned toward the door and fought as hard as she could against the urge to look back. There truly was no going back.
When she arrived at her gate, she finally sat down for the first time in the last hour. Between customs, luggage handling and the god awful line for the bathroom, she barely had any time to breathe. She grabbed her phone instinctively to check notifications and saw a text message from her dad.
« Your flight should be boarding soon. Don’t forget to send a message when you land. ».
When she clicked the conversation, another text appeared.
« I’m proud of you. »
She wanted to cry—right there, right in the middle of the terminal—but it felt too humiliating to fall apart in front of so many strangers. Instead, she decided to FaceTime her friend.
« Hey there! » picked up a bubbly voice.
She smiled at the phone. « Hey Aimee, how are you ? How’s the wedding preparation going ? »
« Awful! I hate this so much Y/n, so close to just call it off and get married in my backyard. »
She laughed , « I know you too well to know you would never. »
The blond smirked at the screen. « You’re right, but it doesn’t make it any better. I feel like I’m putting so much pressure on myself, at least that’s what Ravi said. But I just want our special day to be perfect. Is that too much to ask ? »
Her friend’s wedding was planned for February, at her fiancé’s family home in Rio de Janeiro. They still had over six months, but she knew better than to remind Aimee—unless she wanted to hear the usual spiel: “Six months?! Do you have any idea how long it takes to plan a wedding, Y/n?!”
« I’m sure it will be wonderful. You guys are perfect together anyways, and that’s what’s important. »
Aimee smiled. « That is true. How about you and Sugawara ? I have a feeling that man is proposing any seconds now. Not to stress you guys out of course. »
Her face turned white. « About that, I—»
An announcement cut her off mid speech. « Sorry Aims, I gotta go, my flight is boarding right now. »
« That’s ok, let me know whenever you land. Have a safe flight! ».
She smiled before hanging up. A text popped up on her screen. « Love you lots! ». She needed to tell her, just not right now.
A few minutes later, she had finally boarded her plane. Seated at 27B, the adrenaline rush from the past hours went down and she now felt a horrible mix of dread and excitement. Horrible for her stomach, that is. As she looked through the window and saw the Tokyo skyline, realization hit her that this was the last time she would see this city before a while. Tokyo slipped away beneath her. She felt it, the thrill of leaving on her own, chasing a life she’d always dreamed of.