Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Every morning, Zane stood in the light of the early morning sun as it filtered through the kitchen window. He watched as the clouds were painted with pink, a beautiful contrast to the gradually brightening blue sky as the stars slowly faded from view. It was calming, yes, and a wonderful sight. And yet, he was certain that the sky was never the true subject of his fascination with the break of dawn.

Once they’d regained their powers and resumed working as a team, life at the Monastery had returned to a steady routine. Training early in the day was common practice amongst the ninja, with Lloyd often rising first, followed by Zane, the others getting up in a more unpredictable order. Once everyone was awake, they’d take turns sparring in the courtyard, running over the training course, learning new fighting styles, or practicing with their respective weapons. Most days, Master Wu still supervised, but as of late, Lloyd had taken more of a stand in his leadership role. There was nothing special, nor unusual, about the circumstances. He’d been relieved that their family was back together, of course, but there was something… strange, occurring.

When he awoke from his regular nightly shutdown, a feeling he couldn’t quite describe would stir within his chest. It was almost akin to excitement, or perhaps, happiness, but he could never determine the source. Oddly, it wasn’t exactly unfamiliar. He knew he’d experienced something similar before, but he couldn’t put his finger on when. At first, he’d chalked it up to just the relief of normalcy, the fondness for his family overwhelming him now that they were properly reunited. But then the feeling continued, only growing as days passed by.

It would start small, warm and fluttering and hopeful, as if it was anticipating something unknown to him. As the sun rose, the feeling grew, but it still stayed contained within his chest. However, once they began sparring, the warm feeling would sometimes rise to his face, tugging the corners of his mouth into a smile he couldn’t quite suppress. At some moments, his stomach would flip, and his heart would pound against his chest, even though he hadn’t overexerted himself. It was almost… anxious, in its nature. Training was where the most anomalies in his emotions would occur, and Zane was, loath to admit, clueless as to why.

At first, he couldn’t complain, of course. Zane enjoyed being happy. It was certainly more pleasant than the numb state he’d inflicted upon himself following Nya’s absence. He would much rather feel, even if apparently, he no longer knew how to identify his own emotions.

Alas, he hadn’t been able to stop his ruminations on this sensation. Zane was a logical person, and he often tried his best to fit everything into categories that made sense to him. But this didn’t make sense! Why would he feel nervous when training with the people he’d spent most of his life with? The novelty of their reunion had long since worn off, and he knew what he was doing when he fought. There was no reason for his heart to beat so fast, or for his face to feel oddly hot, or for a rush of adrenaline to flow through him even outside of battle.

And when he thought about it, the feelings would return!

It was infuriating and, quite frankly, confusing. He’d always had trouble with his interoceptive awareness, but not to this degree. It was almost as if his mind was... denying something. Frustrating.

Worse yet was the newest development in this phenomenon: pain. The first truly distressing piece of the puzzle, the sharp pinpricks of intense, yet fleeting, sparks along what he could only assume were his artificial nerves. Sometimes, they would accompany the more intense bouts of emotion, the discomfort not severe, but noticeable enough to make him falter slightly in his fighting.

Within the past week, the pain had begun to become more frequent, and the unease within his mind grew alongside it. However, it wasn’t enough of a hindrance yet to bring up as a disturbance to the team.

Still, Zane couldn’t get it off his mind. So here he stood, overthinking yet again as he waited for Jay to finish scarfing down a bowl of cereal. The others had already begun warming up, but Zane made it his duty to keep the kitchen orderly in the mornings. That, and he preferred to provide companionship to make sure no one was left behind.

He could hear the sounds of fighting from the courtyard, most likely Nya’s kicks against the pads that Cole would hold up, only his wrists strong enough to fully withstand the force behind the attacks without countering in some form. He wondered if he’d spar against Cole today, it had been a few days, upsettingly. Cole was one of the most interesting ninja to spar against, with a vastly different fighting style due to his larger build and heavy-hitting element. Where the others focused more on speed and agility, Cole focused on strength and stability. Zane often found himself fascinated watching the man during battle, subconsciously analyzing his movements as they fought. Honestly, he really hoped that he’d be put against Cole today-

“Alright, ready to go!” Jay’s loud voice cut off his thoughts, and Zane shook himself out of his trance. The lightning ninja seemed especially bouncy today, and his energy was infectious, distracting Zane from the constant overthinking he’d been sucked into all morning.

After he finished tidying up, Zane pushed open the door to the courtyard, taking in the sight of his teammates as they wrapped up their warmups. Just as he predicted, Cole was chatting with Nya, pads still on his hands as they discussed her technique. Kai and Lloyd were standing nearby, the latter organizing bottles of water and cooling towels for breaks. It was quite hot out, even in the early morning, humid air leaving a shine of moisture on his metallic skin.

Lloyd caught Zane’s eye and smiled, giving a small wave before he clapped his hands together to get their attention. “Okay, everyone, Uncle Wu is busy in the library so I’ll be the only one leading this morning’s training session. I want this day to focus on close-combat, so no weapons, no powers, and no Spinjitzu. Vengestone has only become more common, as we’ve all been unfortunate enough to experience, and we need to make sure our skills as normal people are as polished as our skills as elemental masters.”

Zane nodded, slightly more excited than before to begin. There weren’t many times when they’d train like this, and he’d admit they’d become more reliant on their powers since regaining them. It was smart, to train for circumstances where they would be forced to rely on solely their physical capabilities.

“You get three rounds, each ending when either you or your opponent is knocked down. Once your opponent is down, take no more than three minutes to reset. I’m gonna pair us off for now, so spread out.” Lloyd scanned over them, eyes landing on Zane with a strangely mischievous glint before returning to the rest of the ninja.

Confusion stirred within Zane. Was he… planning something? His expression reminded him of a younger Lloyd, one that so adored pulling pranks on the team.

“Jay, I’m putting you with Kai. Nya, you’re with me.” The glint was back in his eyes. “And that leaves Zane and Cole. We start in two minutes.”

All suspicion left his mind as a wave of near-giddy excitement rushed through him. Zane fought back a grin as he gave Lloyd a nod of acknowledgement, stepping to the side as everyone reorganized themselves.

Hand to hand combat against the earth ninja was challenging for a different reason than the others. Cole wasn’t nearly as fast as Jay or Lloyd, but he was much harder to knock down, and if he landed a hit, it was difficult to recover. Even when he was holding back, he was extremely strong, and that meant Zane had to focus greatly on dodging, rather than simply blocking. And since he was made of such a durable metal, Cole didn’t have to hold back as much when sparring against him.

It made for quite the thrilling battle, if he did say so himself.

“Long time no spar, Tin Can!” Cole joked, a confident smirk on his face as he walked towards Zane. “We haven’t been paired up in a bit, have we?” He was wearing a loose t-shirt, already clinging to his skin from sweat, but he didn’t seem to mind the friction as he stretched his arms in preparation.

“No, no we have not.” Zane smiled back, rotating his shoulder to loosen his stiff joints. “A welcome change, I suppose.”

Cole laughed, throwing a glance over Jay. “Yeah, I was gettin’ a bit tired of being shocked by Sparky over there. Even when we’re not supposed to use our powers, he somehow manages to blame it on static electricity.” He raised his voice at the end so the others could hear.

Jay huffed from his side of the courtyard. “It is static electricity, I swear! It’s not my fault I give off a bit more than you all.”

Zane rolled his eyes fondly. “Yes, Jay, we understand.”

“Good! Now focus on insulting each other, not insulting me!” Jay shouted back, falling into a defensive stance against Kai.

Zane copied him as Cole raised his fists, a competitive glint in his dark brown eyes as the timer ticked down. “Ready, Zane?” His deep voice was playful, as if daring Zane to charge forth first.

His heart fluttered, that strange sensation swelling in his chest again. “Ready.”

The timer beeped, and the courtyard erupted in a flurry of motion. They exchanged blows, back and forth as the stray curls from Cole’s bun became plastered to his forehead and neck. “Come on, Zane!”

Zane lunged forward, head ducked to avoid Cole’s punch and quickly landed a hit on his abdomen. Cole recovered quickly, jumping back on his toes and guarding his stomach more heavily.

Perfect.

In the blink of an eye, Zane moved, feigning a punch to his opponent's head. His arms moved up to block it, but Cole wasn’t quick enough. Zane dropped to the ground, sweeping his leg towards Cole’s ankles, knocking him off balance. He stumbled, and with a quick knee to the stomach, he was down.

“Ah, shit.” Cole’s voice was winded, but not pained as he looked up at Zane. “Must be out of practice if I fell for that move.”

Zane tilted his head in agreement. “Perhaps you are.” He smirked. “Or perhaps, I just have more skill in this department.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cole rolled his eyes. “Help me up and we’ll see how long you keep thinkin’ that.” He reached his hand up, and Zane grasped it tightly, pulling the man to his feet.

For just a moment, their eyes met, and Zane’s heart fluttered again. The shade that had covered them before had receded, and bright sun was beginning to flood the courtyard. From the angle in which he stood, Cole’s dark brown eyes were illuminated by the rays, now an entrancing, almost glowing, amber.

“Uh, Zane? You can let go of my hand now.” Cole’s eyebrows were raised in amusement, but he looked slightly confused as he glanced at their still intertwined fingers.

“Ah, yes.” Embarrassment rushed through him as he let go of Cole’s hand, stepping back awkwardly. “Apologies.”

Cole smiled. “Nah, it’s good, just haven’t seen you dazed out like that before. You okay?”

Zane nodded. “Quite alright, thank you-” Suddenly, pain shot through him, sharp and tight, as if it was squeezing around his heart. He grunted in surprise, wincing as his hand automatically went to his chest.

“Zane!” Cole rushed forward, eyes were full of concern. “What was that? Are you hurt?”

“No, no. I’m fine.” Zane straightened up, waving his hand in dismissal. “Just a mild malfunction.”

Relief washed over Cole’s face, but he still looked slightly worried. “Oh. Do you need to go see Pix? I think she’s working on the lower level.”

Zane shook his head, gathering himself. “I am capable of continuing this round. I will go after training.”

“If you say so.” Cole shrugged, stepping back. “We should probably get back to it, then! I’m just gonna grab a drink.” He walked over to the side, picking up a water bottle and chugging it.

Zane turned, absentmindedly rubbing at his chest. The choking feeling had dissipated, but the memories of it were still fresh in his mind. It was as if something was scraping through him, wrapping tight around his nerves.

What was that? The pain had never been that bad before!

“Alright, I’m ready!” Cole’s shout snapped him out of his thoughts.

“Ready for yet another defeat-” Zane began to taunt, but his voice stopped in his throat as he spotted Cole.

Cole, who was now… missing a shirt.

“Ah.” Zane swallowed, averting his gaze. “I see you have changed.”

“Hey, I can’t exactly regulate my temperature like you.” Cole laughed, throwing the shirt to the side. “It’s getting way too warm out here for us non-nindroids. Well, some of us, at least.” He glared at Kai in the distance, the fire ninja energetic as ever as he dodged a very red-faced Jay’s blows.

The fluttery feeling was back.

Why?

“Anyways, let’s get back to it before Lloyd yells at us. I think our three minutes are just about up.” Cole warned lightheartedly, bouncing on his feet as he warmed his muscles back up.

Zane dipped his head in acknowledgement, falling back into a fighting stance.

Within seconds, they were back to sparring. They circled each other, throwing punches and kicks and blocking the returning blows, the flow of the fight effortless. This time, Cole was better prepared, not about to let Zane have such an easy opportunity to knock him down. Zane was forced to dodge strategically, attempting to find an opening to the earth ninja’s weak spots.

It was no use, really. Now that Cole had truly put him on the offense, he had the upper hand, being more well-versed in defensive fighting tactics. Even Zane’s quickest maneuvers were now predicted just in time for Cole to solidly block and push back against the attacks.

It was frustrating, and yet… impressive. He was truly a unique combatant, someone that Zane would never tire of fighting alongside. His heart warmed as he watched Cole’s determined expression, stepping in sync with dodges and counterattacks. There was a flutter in his stomach, hopeful and-

Pain.

Zane’s chest seized with the sudden burst of agony, just as Cole’s kick swept his legs from underneath him. He landed hard on his back, the choking sensation returning full-force.

“Ha!” Cole exclaimed in victory, breathing heavily as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. “Finally, I- Zane?” Concern bled into the man’s voice as he peered down at Zane, thick eyebrows furrowed in worry.

Zane curled in on himself, hand clutching at his chest in a futile attempt to relieve the pain.

“Zane!” Cole’s hands hovered over him, as if he was afraid to cause further damage. “Did I hurt you? What’s wrong?”

Finally, the agony lessened, and Zane straightened, propping himself up on his elbow. “No, no, you did not cause this. I am alright, just-” He winced, an aftershock firing through his nerves.

“You’re clearly not alright, Zane!” Cole sat back, giving him more space. “That’s it, we’re done sparring. I’m taking you to Pix, right now.”

A strange sense of alarm shot through him. “No!”

Cole startled, eyes wide, and Zane sighed, correcting himself. “Apologies. I meant that I will go alone. It is a minor malfunction, there’s no need to interfere with your own training.”

“Zane, it’s really no trouble at all.”

“Truly, I will be fine on my own, Cole.” Zane gave a small smile, pushing himself up from the ground, ignoring how the simple movement caused his arms to shake from the effort. He stumbled slightly, quickly righting himself. “I promise.”

Cole didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “If you’re sure. But make sure to take it easy, alright?”

Zane nodded, turning away as he forced himself to walk as normally as possible through the tightness in his body.

Just a few more steps…

He closed the door behind him, and immediately, his legs gave out, sending him careening into the wall. Zane bit back a cry, squeezing his eyes shut against the sharp scraping sensation within him as he leaned against the wall, willing himself to stay upright.

What the hell was happening to him?

First, he’d had to deal with the inexplicable feelings, and now, this strange pain? If it was a malfunction, it was not one he had previously encountered.

Muffled voices filtered through the door.

“Is Zane alright?” Lloyd’s voice was a mix of concerned and confused.

“I’m not sure, he said it was a malfunction, but he’s been kinda acting weird for a while now.” Cole’s worried voice made a wave of guilt wash over him.

He never wanted to worry his team. That was the last thing they needed.

Zane pushed himself upright, and with newly renewed motivation, headed to P.I.X.A.L’s lab.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Aren’t you supposed to be training?” The nindroid’s voice was full of suspicion, her arms crossed in front of her.

Zane winced, offering P.I.X.A.L a sheepish smile. “Ah, yes. I may have… encountered a slight issue.”
Her eyebrows raised in alarm. “An issue? We have both performed maintenance regularly, you should not be having trouble.”

“I am well aware. However, I have been feeling strange, as of late. I have experienced some, ah, pain, from an unknown source. I was hoping that you could help me determine the cause.”

P.I.X.A.L glared at him accusingly. “And when, exactly, did this pain begin?”

“About a week ago.”

”Zane!”

Zane held his hands up in a placating gesture. “It only recently grew more severe! I was planning on asking for your assistance, I promise. I just… couldn’t find the right time.”

She sighed. “We’ve talked about this. You musn’t hide any form of injury, illness, or malfunction from me or the rest of the team. It is dangerous, even for a nindroid such as yourself. You are not invincible, Zane.”

Zane nodded, looking down at his hands. “I apologize. It was a mistake on my behalf, one that I shall not make again.”

“Thank you.” P.I.X.A.L rose from her seat, stepping over to the table they had set up for repairs, and gestured for him to sit down. “Have you performed a thorough scan of yourself?”

“Two days ago, but there were no abnormalities. This is not a normal malfunction.” Zane admitted. “It may be beneficial for you to attempt a more rigorous search. I cannot be completely sure of the functionality of my own abilities.”

“Alright, hold still.” P.I.X.A.L’s green eyes grew brighter as she looked him up and down, her gaze scrutinizing. Suddenly, her brows furrowed in confusion, and her head tilted as she stared at his torso. “Well that is, hmm, certainly very strange.”

Zane swallowed nervously. “What have you found?”

Her eyes dimmed once again, and she made eye contact with him once again. “There seems to be some form of living matter within your chest cavity.”

Shock rushed through him. “Living matter? That’s impossible, I am not comprised of living matter.”

P.I.X.A.L shook her head, her hand already reaching towards his chest to expose the inner wiring. “This is a foreign object, Zane. It is almost as if it is… infecting you.”

Infecting him?

That couldn’t be. He couldn’t be corrupted, not again.

Calm down. It can’t be that serious, can it?

“There, finally.”

A blast of cool air hit the nerves that ran along his chest as it opened. No matter how many times he did it, Zane would never get used to the sensation. It was disturbing, just how vulnerable he felt when the very structure that gave him life was so easily exposed. Even though he trusted P.I.X.A.L with his life, he couldn’t help the anxiety that engulfed him when she performed repairs. Perhaps it was a side effect of the time in his life where he believed he was a normal human.

“This… This is impossible. This should be impossible. You should not be able to…” The nindroid standing before him muttered in disbelief, hands dropping to her sides. Her eyes brightened again, as if she was scanning to confirm whatever she had discovered. “

“P.I.X.A.L? Is everything okay?” His voice trembled slightly as he spoke.

“I-” She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “I fear something is very wrong, Zane.”

He craned his neck to look down, and-

Oh.

Yes. Something was very wrong, indeed.

Thin roots wrapped along the inside of his chest, curling around the various switches and reaching up to brush against his heart. They were deeply embedded in the circuits, pulsating alongside the various currents running through the wires. From the roots, bright green leaves had sprouted, thin and star-like in their formation. Closed clusters of petals stretched from the ends of the leaves, green fading into white.

If he was physically capable of throwing up, Zane was sure he would have.

Because P.I.X.A.L was absolutely correct. This was impossible.

He knew what this looked like. It was immediately recognizable from the records he had frequently studied as the team’s designated medic. They called it Hanahaki, the disease of unrequited love. But it wasn’t truly an illness. It was theorized to be caused by magic. Only with a prolonged and recent exposure to dark magic could the disease seem to be able to develop, and even then, it would only take hold if the victim percieved themselves as holding romantic attraction that was not reciprocated. Typically, it manifested within the victim’s lungs and digestive system, flowers blooming until the person would be forced to cough or vomit them up.

Gradually, it would progress, growing more and more suffocating until the victim could no longer breathe.

There were only two ways to treat Hanahaki: confessing your love and hoping for reciprocation, or inducing retrograde amnesia to rid yourself of the emotions that allowed the disease to take hold in the first place.

If left untreated, it was always fatal.

But Zane didn’t have lungs. He couldn’t cough. He couldn’t vomit, either. His stomach didn’t function the same as a normal human.

He wasn’t affected by human illness.

So if this was truly Hanahaki… how?

“Zane, this is-” P.I.X.A.L started, words hesitant.

“I know.” He cut her off, trying to keep his voice steady. “I know what it looks like. But that’s not possible. I cannot catch diseases.”

“Stop.” Her voice grew serious. “We both know this is no normal disease. Cases have been appearing more since the crisis with the Overlord. He was the personification of darkness itself, and you battled him directly. You may be immune to illness, but magic is different, Zane. For all we know, Hanahaki has never been just a human issue.”

“P.I.X.A.L, the disease is triggered by a reaction to unrequited love. I am not in love.”

She shook her head firmly. “No. This is unmistakeable. I have scanned it multiple times, and the growing patterns directly match those of flowers born from Hanahaki in others. And it is… it is doing its job in causing harm to your body. From my scans, it seems that the flowers are beginning to degrade your central system. The roots have begun to interrupt the signals between nerves, even replacing them.”

Fear shot through him. “You can’t remove them?”

“Not without causing great damage to your system.” P.I.X.A.L looked back up at him, her eyes swirling with a mix of anger and sorrow. “You were correct. The only way this disease is triggered is through unrequited love. If we want to have any chance in curing it, you must tell me who it is you are in love with, Zane.”

“I don’t know, P.I.X.A.L!” Zane snapped, frustration rising within him. “I am not in love, at least not consciously!”

“Are you hearing me, Zane? If we leave this alone, the damage will be irreparable. It is intertwined with you. Even if I tried to upload your consciousness to a different body, it would just reform itself.” Her stern face faltered, showing her distress for a split second. “I cannot allow that to happen. There are two ways I can treat this. The first is attempting a confession. The second option is-” She paused, trying to school her expression into calm. “The second option is turning your emotions back off.”

“No! Do not even suggest-”

“Then talk to me, Zane!” P.I.X.A.L was nearly shouting. “Think about it for more than one second.”

Zane sighed, glancing back down at the mess inside of his chest cavity. “I-”

In the time that they were talking, one of the flowers had started to bloom. It was strangely beautiful, but also… familiar.

Realization dawned on him.

Oh, FSM.

If this was what he thought it was, then…

“P.I.X.A.L. The type of flower that grows is normally formed in relation to the subject of the attraction, correct?”

She nodded, brows furrowed. “Yes. Typically, it can be the subject’s favorite flower, birth flower, a color association, or some other personally distinct type that the victim of the disease associates with them.”

Ah. So he was, unfortunately, correct in his musings.

It couldn’t be…

No.

But it made sense.

The strange feeling that was accompanied by pain had only struck him in very specific situations. He’d just never put two and two together.

It was obvious, now, as he watched the white petals curl from their formerly tight state.

“I know who it is.”

P.I.X.A.L tilted her head questioningly. “You do?”

The flower that bloomed in his chest was damning evidence. There was only one person he knew that could ever be associated with lilies.

The master of earth.

His teammate.

The son of Lily.

“It’s Cole.” Zane met P.I.X.A.L’s gaze. “I’m in love with Cole.”

Chapter Text

After double and triple checking that the flowers growing within him were the sole cause of all his problems, P.I.X.A.L had sent him out with newly downloaded files on Hanahaki disease, along with a warning to ‘not do anything stupid’ in the meantime. He’d been instructed to rest, to not put any more stress on his mechanics than they already had. That meant, of course, no training.

No missions.

Nothing even remotely exerting.

It had been a week since then, and thankfully, he’d found ways to avoid training, saying that although the malfunction had been mild, it needed a few tweaks that couldn’t be done in quick succession. Therefore, he had to be in the med-bay more often than not.

He couldn’t even explain it to the team, lest they find out about who the subject of his feelings was. If they knew, then Cole would know too, and Zane…

Zane was far from ready to confront that.

He was barely processing the information himself, if he was honest. The realization that he had fallen for Cole had been a shock to his system, one that brought about countless more questions than it answered. He knew now, of course, that the feelings he had been so confused over were those associated with romantic love, but that did not mean they made any more logical sense. Even though he knew these feelings would only bring about pain, he still savored every last second of the initial rush of happiness that accompanied his thoughts of Cole.

Zane was rarely overcome by his own emotions. He was, of course, an empathetic person, one that felt deeply and wasn’t afraid to express it. But this strong of a reaction was almost completely unfamiliar to him.

The only other time he’d been rendered so helpless by his own mind had been in the throes of grief from Nya’s sacrifice.

Except now, instead of a crushing, gnawing emptiness that seemed to eat away at his very soul, he was overfilled with warm, giddy delight, one that pounded against his chest with the desire to be free.

But he wouldn’t let it.

So without an outlet, without someone to bestow upon his affection, it had begun to fester, rotting away at his insides as the decay provided fertilizer for the lilies to consume.

He was being consumed by his own emotions.

And regrettably, he had begun to resign himself to the very fate he had promised himself he would never let happen again.

Zane knew that by breaking the rules P.I.X.A.L had set in place for him, he was only harming himself further. But what else was he supposed to do? There was no way to hide such a debilitating illness in its entirety, but for as long as he was able, he would. It wasn’t from a fear of being perceived as weak, nor from a fear of pity. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that his team would drop everything to help him without a second thought, just as he would for them. He wasn’t worried about them knowing that he was sick.

It was the disease itself that he knew would be the breaking point. If they found out that what he was suffering from was Hanahaki, he had no idea what their reaction would be.

There would be disbelief, of course. Shock, and worry.

But beyond that, he couldn’t predict their responses.

What if Cole already knew? What if he was just pretending like everything was normal, to avoid the fact that one of his best friends now desired more than just friendship? What if he had no idea, and was completely blindsided? Confused? Disgusted, even?

Their relationship had been nothing more than platonic for many, many years. There was a chance that if Cole ever discovered that Zane’s love for him was romantic in nature, their bond would shatter.

But what if…

No.

He couldn’t allow hope.

Not now.

Hope would only make the flowers grow quicker.

In any case, Zane knew one thing was certain.

If Cole were ever to discover his affections, nothing would ever be the same again.

And that… that was what truly terrified him.

Change.

They’d been through so many changes already, in such quick succession that disruption had become routine. Now, with their first chance of long-lasting stability, he could not be the source of one of those disruptions. He could not be the point that tipped his family back into a life of chaos and uncertainty.

There was enough stress already. His… affliction would only cause more harm.

It would be selfish of him to confess now. Just like it would be selfish of him to wipe his memories, to take away the friend they’d known for so long. Even if he did induce amnesia, he doubted it would work.

After all, he’d still meet Cole, one way or another.

Like his love, the flowers would just bloom back.

And he’d be right where he started.

The only other option was out of the question.

He didn’t want to be numb again.

Zane was stuck in an endless spiral, now. His thoughts looped around and layered on top of each other, weighing heavily on a mind already overburdened.

There were no good choices. That frustrated him more than he could ever admit.

He was dying, and right now, all he could do was wait for it to catch up to him.

“Yo, Zane! Get on the Bounty, we’ve got a lead on the vengestone case in the city!”

Zane jolted, startled by Kai’s sudden appearance in the doorframe. The man looked at him impatiently, bouncing on the soles of his feet. “Ah, I-”

“No time, come on!” In a flash of red, Kai was gone.

Shit.

He couldn’t go on missions, not now! He would be a liability, if he were to experience another painful episode. Especially surrounded by vengestone. With his powers disabled, and his body potentially following suit, it was a near-guaranteed recipe for disaster.

But they didn’t know that.

How was he supposed to explain… this? He couldn’t just stay behind for no reason, that was completely unlike him. But there was no way he could get around the subject of his disease if he told them he was too unwell to go on such a routine mission.

Vengestone had been appearing more frequently as a problem in their current landscape. Following the crisis with the Overlord, there had been a great deal of small-time criminals who had happened to get their hands on it, and subsequently wreaked havoc upon the still-rebuilding Ninjago City.

Things like this had become common missions, as they worked to find out who the suppliers were, and what their end goal could possibly be.

Zane sighed and stepped out of the door, briskly walking towards the courtyard to board the ship. He’d be fine.

He was always fine.

This was just a routine mission, nothing more.

It probably wouldn’t even be as rough as a normal training session.

How bad could it be?

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zane was correct on one of his early observations, as he reflected upon this downward turn of events. This was a simple, routine mission.

He was incorrect, however, in his assessment of his own health.

He was not, in fact, fine.

He had begun the mission with only a mild ache in his chest, strange, yet not too concerning. In the past few days since his diagnosis, the pain had gradually become more frequent, a near-constant sensation that settled within his body. It wasn’t sharp or aggressive like the incident at training, but it was tiring. Zane could tell he was starting to slow down, and his reactions (while still quick) were just a bit too sloppy as he barely dodged the attacks thrown his way. His skills were degrading along with his body.

He could only hope his mind would not follow suit.

Typically, he hung back a bit, his skill with ranged attacks far more precise than any of the other ninja. So today, his slight hesitation to enter close-combat wasn’t that out of place. His actions fit within their current plan, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Of course, it didn’t go according to plan. When did it ever go according to plan?

There were many more men to fight than any of them had anticipated. And much, much more vengestone.

Though they hadn’t been overwhelmed by the forces, the battle was far more intense than they had previously planned for. Which left Zane in quite the precarious situation.

Especially when Cole had been fighting right next to him. During the battle, Zane had found himself distracted by him, by the way he moved so fluidly, but still harbored enough force to stay firmly anchored to the ground. His eyes wandered every so often to the side, taking in the sight of the man he admired so deeply.

Alas, his diverted attention had cost him. In a split second, the criminal lunged forward, his vengestone blade ready to plunge into Zane’s already internally damaged chest. Terror flashed through him at the prospect of the flowers within him being exposed for everyone to see, outweighing any fear of his actual mechanisms being damaged beyond repair. He was barely even afraid of the pain that would follow.

Somehow, he just knew that nothing would hurt worse than the betrayal he’d surely find in Cole’s gaze, once he saw.

Zane’s eyes had squeezed shut on instinct, anticipating the attack.

But it never came.

“Zane! Move, now!” Cole’s voice was strained slightly, and Zane’s eyes flew open in shock.

Cole had stood in front of him, hand firmly wrapped around the wrist of the criminal that had attempted to stab Zane. Anger drew the man’s eyebrows down, lip curled in disgust as he looked at the blade that had almost been driven into Zane’s chest. With a single punch, the criminal was down on the ground, too dazed to stand back up.

“You alright?” Cole’s voice was filled with concern as he turned back towards Zane, deep brown eyes immediately softening from their previously fiery glare. “That was a bit close.”

“Yes, I’m quite alright.” Zane’s chest swelled with warmth, the feeling out of place in the stress of the battle. “Thank you, Cole.”

Wait, no. He shouldn’t be- He needed to ignore that feeling, if he didn’t it would-

Cole’s returning smile was radiant. “Anytime. Come on, let’s get back to-”

Pain.

Zane cried out involuntarily as a choking sense of agony rushed through him, wrapping its vines around his artificial nerves. His knees buckled underneath his weight, the dirty concrete rushing towards his face before he broke his fall. The shock of the landing sent an uncomfortable tingling through the arm he caught himself with, the appendage weakened by the lack of signals it received from his brain.

“Zane!” Cole’s voice was panicked, but it was much further away than before. “Shit, no, get out of the way- Fuck!” He heard the slamming of blade against blade, as a rush of pounding feet sounded against the ground below.

His arm had given out, face now pressed against the ground beneath. Zane squinted through the pain, but his eyes soon widened with horror at the sight. The alleyways-turned-battlefield were filled with even more combatants, each bathed in the orange-yellow light of vengestone.

They must’ve gotten very, very close to finally cracking the operation.

And now, in a last-ditch effort to save their profits, they faced the full-force of Ninjago City’s criminal underground.

In the time they needed him most, Zane was practically out of commission.

This was very, very bad.

Suddenly, a whoosh of air behind him had Zane instinctively rolling out of the way, chest tightening even further as something began to constrict around his throat. He blindly swept out a leg, the metal appendage hitting its mark as the enemy went down with a curse. Unfortunately, the man grabbed his shoulder from behind, knee digging into the small of his back.

He launched an elbow back, and with the telltale crack of a newly broken nose, the pressure forcing him down was gone. Zane forced his legs to hold his weight as he straightened up, the shaking limbs just barely supporting his body. His back faced the brick wall, the temptation to lean against it for support almost too strong.

He couldn't show more weakness. Not when he could barely even fight.

The criminal before him was already getting back up as he attempted to wipe the blood that streamed down his face. It smeared across his skin in a disgusting mess of red, and he sneered at him, teeth bloody and bared. The man advanced towards Zane, his glowing vengestone blade held in a sloppy imitation of a fighting stance. “What’s got you so roughed-up, robot? Aren’t you supposed to be invincible?”

If he could’ve responded, he would say something snappy, something that would defend his humanity and knock this cheap villain down a peg.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t get a single word out around the flowers that filled his mouth.

Why was this happening? He didn’t need to breathe, and yet, he still felt like he was choking to death. How strange.

A shuffling of feet to the side of him alerted Zane to the fact that he was now, effectively, cornered.

For the second time that day, he felt true fear.

Normally, these criminals would be no problem for him. He would never have ended up in this situation in the first place, facing several enemies that he could tell were beginning to recognize his predicament.

He was helpless, and they knew it.

“Aw, look, the metal man is scared. I didn’t even know he could feel anything.” One of the men taunted, a cruel grin on his face.

Anger rushed through his mind, briefly chasing away the fog of pain that had begun to settle in a blanket across his thoughts. Without thinking, Zane opened his mouth to retort.

Instead of a response, petals tumbled from his mouth.

Disgust and confusion flickered across the criminal’s face, and his stance faltered. “What the fuck? Are those flowers?”

He looked so shocked that Zane nearly broke into laughter on the spot. Who knew that his most effective combat tactic today would be just opening his mouth?

In the brief moment of clarity that the rush of emotion had brought forth, Zane’s senses picked up on something strange.

The battle around them had quieted significantly, the echoes of fighting now distant.

He was on his own.

“Hey, assholes!”

Or not.

The man that had first threatened him began to turn towards the sound, but in a split second, he crumpled to the ground, holding his stomach in pain.

There Cole stood, withdrawing his fist to grip onto the large scythe in his other hand. His eyes were alight with a fury Zane had never seen before as his chest heaved from the previous exertion of battle. “Get the hell away from him.”

One of the criminals, in a barely respectable defensive stance, had the nerve to laugh. “Aw, rescuing your little robot boyfriend? Is he malfunctioning or something?”

Cole, honest to the FSM, snarled.

The man’s face went white, as if he just realized that taunting the man with the giant blade was, in fact, a terrible idea.

With a flash of the handle of Cole’s scythe, he was down, blood trickling from his temple in the beginnings of what would be an impressive bruise.

Cole whipped around, swinging the blade in a wide arc that nearly sliced into the chests of the rest of the men surrounding Zane.

“Oh, shit!” With a pattering of feet against the pavement, and the presence of people around him was lowered to only one.

But Zane’s mind was stuck in a loop.

Boyfriend? Did it really seem like-

A flash of agony enveloped his body, and Zane fell against the wall. He forced himself to stay standing, but his limbs were beginning to feel worryingly numb. In an instant, the scythe clattered to the ground, and Cole’s hands were on him, his eyes wide with panic. “Zane, stay with me, you’re okay, you’re-”

A disturbingly loud crunch of metal echoed through the alleyway.

Cole’s face paled in fear.

Zane looked down.

Where Cole’s hand had pressed against his chest, the metal had caved in. Oil was quickly bubbling to the surface from the dented, cracked titanium

Oh.

That should not be possible.

Fuck.

His ears were ringing, the noise around him cutting in and out as his audio systems seemingly glitched. His vision flickered, distorted and filled with static.

He was shutting down.

Zane looked up one last time, and for a moment, his vision was clear.

Cole’s eyes, full of tears, pure fear written across his features as he shouted for help.

The world went dark.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His hearing was the first of his senses to return to him. At first, everything was muffled, the steady beeping of several familiar machines the only clear sound. Gradually, the voices began to fade into clarity.

“Cole, he’ll be alright, I promise. His systems are beginning to come back online, and I’ve already patched his chest. Zane should be awake very soon.”

P.I.X.A.L’s voice was quiet in a practiced sort of calm, the kind of tone he’d used many times himself to soothe his teammates when one of their own was injured. Zane must be in the med-bay, then.

And Cole was here, too?

What had happened, to make this situation sound so… serious? So dire?

“I know, Pix, it’s just-” Cole’s breath hitched with something akin to a choked-off sob. “It’s my fault he’s in here. I knew something was wrong, I knew he wasn’t fighting at his best, and I just let us get separated. And then I- then I hurt him. My hand nearly went into his chest!”

Guilt flooded his veins, and Zane wanted nothing more than to sit up and tell Cole how wrong he was. But he couldn’t move, his body not yet caught up to receive the signals his mind frantically sent.

Thankfully, P.I.X.A.L beat him to the chase. “It is not your fault, Cole. On the contrary, actually. He was instructed to rest and avoid any stress and exertion. He went against medical advice, which was a choice that was entirely his own.” Her voice was biting and direct, and Zane knew that she knew of his current state of wakefulness. “The condition that is currently afflicting Zane has caused many issues in his systems, but has also begun to degrade his exterior body. You did not hurt him. The metal was so fragile that anything could have broken through with minimal pressure. I have reinforced it, for now.”

Panic swelled in his chest, and the beeping of the heart monitor increased rapidly. The Hanahaki was spreading so much that it was now eroding away at his skin? He was the Titanium Ninja, a nearly invincible, impenetrable force that often remained the last line of defence for his team. He couldn’t be affected by the vast majority of injuries and maladies that could take the others out of commission, and therefore, was the one that they could fall back on as a last resort.

But now?

He was weakened. Barely holding together, mentally and physically.

This needed to stop.

He couldn’t let them down like this anymore.

“Why won’t you just tell me what’s going on with him? I know it’s serious, Pix.” Cole’s voice was desperate.

“As I told you before, Zane has asked me not to inform anyone of the exact nature of his condition. As much as I dislike withholding this from you, without his permission, I must refuse to-”

“Screw that!” Cole shouted, slamming a hand down onto one of the metal tables. “He’s dying, and we can all see it! I don’t know how it’s possible, but he’s sick, and I can’t-” Another sob cut him off, the sound grating and painful. “We can’t lose him. Not again.”

“I know.” P.I.X.A.L’s voice softened. “I’m sorry, Cole. He is worrying me greatly as well, but this is a complicated situation. I can only hope he will come to you all on his own time, but for now, I have to respect his wishes. He would do the same for me, for all of you.”

Cole sniffed, and Zane heard him take a step forward, sensing his presence now closer to the bed he laid upon. “I just…” He sighed heavily, a hand brushing against Zane’s immobile fingers. “Nevermind. Just let me know when he’s up and ready, please?”

“Of course.” P.I.X.A.L’s voice was quiet with what Zane could only assume was a mix of frustration and sadness. It was clear that she was attempting to hide it, but alas, her emotions were breaking through the hardened exterior she sometimes tried so hard to project.

The door opened and closed, Cole leaving quietly.

This was his doing. He needed to act, soon. This couldn’t be allowed to continue.

And yet…

The prospect of revealing his illness to his team had grown even more terrifying than before. Logistically, Zane knew that this was how Hanahaki progressed. The longer it was left untreated, the more it took hold of the mind alongside the havoc it wreaked upon the body. The disease dug its nails into the brain, creating more anxiety surrounding the only act that could cure it without much consequence. It tried its best to stay, a parasite that latched on so deeply that past a certain point, it was nearly impossible to destroy.

It was terrifying, and somehow, it was happening to him.

At least he no longer had to doubt the validity of his own humanity.

Zane groaned in frustration, and with a start, realized that his senses had nearly returned. Experimentally, he attempted to move his hand, the metal appendage curling in a weak imitation of a fist.

“It’ll take some time, still. You’re not quite online.”

P.I.X.A.L’s voice startled him, and his eyes snapped open. “What?” His voice was more metallic than usual, most likely the result of a damaged filter somewhere in his throat.

She stared at him exasperatedly, sitting down in the chair next to his bed. “That bout that occurred during the battle took quite the hit to your body. Your nerves were severely damaged, along with your outer plating. I restored as much as I can, but there is no possible way to fully repair you with the plant matter in the way.”

Zane nodded, averting his gaze. “I am well aware, you’ve…”

Wait.

He could speak?

“The flowers, P.I.X.A.L, they were in my-”

“Your mouth and throat, I know. Who do you think was the one to treat you?” Distress flickered in her green eyes. “I was able to remove the petals, as most were simply loose debris that was pushed up with the new growth in your abdominal cavity. But the roots and vines are something I cannot cut out.”

“Ah.” Zane shifted, propping himself up on his elbow in an attempt to finally sit upright.

P.I.X.A.L rolled her eyes and rose from her seat, placing a hand on his upper back to stabilize him as she pressed a button that moved the bed into an incline. “Rest, Zane. I know it is not something you are used to, but it is necessary for recovery.”

He couldn’t help the scoff that escaped his lips. “Recovery? P.I.X.A.L, we both know that this is not recovery. I’m not getting any better.”

Her eyes snapped to him with a glare. “I apologize, Zane. Should I refer to it as hospice, instead?”

Zane flinched back. “I didn’t mean-”

“No, that’s exactly what you meant.” P.I.X.A.L fired back, brows furrowed in anger. “Zane, I do not know how much longer I can stand to watch you continue on like this! This is progressing extremely rapidly, and at this rate, I don’t know how long you’ll even be able to keep this from the team. They will see, and they will say the exact same thing I have been saying. You need to do something about this. I cannot do more for you, and you placing all of this pressure on me is not what we agreed upon.”

He opened his mouth, but no words escaped him in a stunned silence.

P.I.X.A.L just shook her head. “I am respecting your wishes to stay quiet about this. But if you do not act soon, I do not know if that will be possible for me to keep up.”

“P.I.X.A.L…” Zane started, but his voice faltered again. “I don’t know what to do.” Even as the words left his lips, he knew they weren’t true.

He knew exactly what he had to do. P.I.X.A.L seemed to have the same idea.

“Yes, you do.” Her eyes softened, but her voice stayed firm. “I know it must be terrifying for you, I know how this can affect your mind, even one such as complex as yours. But it’s for the best.”

He nodded, a numb sort of calm beginning to settle in his mind as he stared at the floor. “Yes, it is.”

“Cole will understand. No matter his feelings, he is your friend, and-”

“I’m not confessing.” The sentence left a bitter taste in his mouth, dripping with sour acceptance.

The nindroid stumbled slightly back in shock. “What?”

“I am not confessing my feelings to Cole.” He repeated, voice steadier.

“But you said that…” Her face went slack with realization. “Zane, you cannot. You were adamant about never implementing that solution again.”

“This is my decision, P.I.X.A.L!” Zane raised his voice, meeting her gaze. “There is no time to debate any longer. I do not want to burden you any longer with this disease. I do not want to burden the team. And most importantly, I-” He paused in an attempt to regather himself. “I do not want to die. If that requires turning my emotions off, I am willing to pay that price, for the sake of myself and my family.”

Her eyes widened, and devastation pulled at her face. “Zane…”

“It’s for the best, as you said.” He gave her a small smile and motioned to his torso. “I will, however, require your assistance one last time.”

P.I.X.A.L hesitated for just a second before stepping forward, steeling her expression into one of barely maintained calm. “Okay.”

Zane averted his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. Perhaps, it was cowardly, to avoid watching her open his chest cavity.

But he knew, deep down, that if he watched her, he would lose the resolve to allow her to do so.

There was a sharp tingling as her fingers brushed against the various systems housed under his skin, searching gently through the flowers to find what she needed.

P.I.X.A.L cleared her throat, but her voice still sounded choked when she spoke. “I must ask you again, are you sure you want me to do this? You won’t be… you may not be able to return to normal. You might not want to. You know how hard it was last time, I just-”

“P.I.X.A.L.” He cut her off. “Will it stop the Hanahaki?”

She hesitated again, then nodded. “Yes. As long as you remain that way, the disease will not be able to progress further.”

“Then I am sure.” Pain flared in his chest, and Zane winced. “Please, just do it.”

Her voice was quieter than he’d ever heard. “Okay.”

Zane squeezed his eyes shut in anticipation.

Something in him clicked.

The pain disappeared.

And for the second time in his life, he felt nothing.