1 - 20 of 168 Works in The Ministry of Magic is Incompetent (Harry Potter)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Multiple POV (On Hold)

    Magic is all around us. It exists in us, the things we touch, the things we create, the homes we inhabit. Wizards and witches can even harness magic to work for them. So what happens when the Magic vanishes without a trace?

    Mere seconds after the death of Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts school and everyone who finds themselves on the premises suffers an inherent change to their lives as magic ceases to exist. The world outside Hogwarts remains the same, but with aurors unable to enter and students unable to leave, the entirety of the wizarding world begins to wonder what will happen next.

    Hermione, with a rather unlikely study group, scours every book in the school for some whiff of an answer and finds the promise of one in the diary of a student long since passed. But opening that can of worms comes with an inevitable array of extra questions, questions that can only be answered by Salazar Slytherin’s youngest and truest heir.

    Draco Malfoy is lost without his magic, but finds a power much darker. Can he learn to control it in order to help his new friendships, and new potential love? Or does he let it control him and guide him back into the arms of the dark lord?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,259
    Chapters:
    40/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2,873
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Harry has nightmares and can't sleep, so he goes up to the Astronomy Tower at night. Meanwhile, the Ministry decides to strip former death eaters from some of their rights.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,451
    Chapters:
    7/12
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,079
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Harry has been horribly abused by his relatives his entire life, until one day something awakens in him, and he takes revenge.

    Incredibly dark and graphically violent. Various pairings across the story, but the main one is Harry/Draco.

    This is NOT a complete work! More chapters are being added.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    224,852
    Chapters:
    55/?
    Comments:
    263
    Kudos:
    530
    Bookmarks:
    124
    Hits:
    25,932
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The war has just started, or so they thought. They are forced to think differently when a little boy pops onto the dining table at Grimmauld Place and says he's from the future- and he's got the memories to prove it and just when they thought nothing could get weirder they ask him who his parents are and that's when they are forced to dramatically alter plans. He just named 16 year old Hermione as his mother and 35 year old Severus as his father and what's even weirder- he also named Lucius Malfoy as his other father. Follow Severus and Hermione through the future as they battle the dark forces and then their own emotions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,330
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    279
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    6,512
  5. Tags
    Summary

    1902.

    Sirius and Regulus Black have forged a new life as the Brothers Astral, dazzling audiences beneath the striped canvas of the Cirque du Siècle. The performers are a collection of muggles, muggle-borns, and disillusioned purebloods, drawn to the danger, glitter, and hedonism of the big-top. All chasing something brighter than the lives they fled.

    But old school ties, buried grief, and unexpected connections collide with the brothers, threatening to unravel the fragile world they've built beneath the canvas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,418
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    264
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Post-war, post-Azkaban, and decidedly post-relevant, Draco Malfoy thought he’d be spending the rest of his life laying low and pretending he isn't bored.

    Instead, he’s taking tequila shots in Muggle London, getting assigned homework from Hermione Granger, and only halfheartedly trying to keep Theo Nott out of trouble.

    At least the music’s decent.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,537
    Chapters:
    3/12
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    193
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger just wanted a normal last year at Hogwarts. So, leave it to the Ministry to ruin everything.

    The war ended in many casualties, and the Ministry fears claims that the new generation of young adults will face a generational depression after their own roles have ended. Under the preface of inter-house unity, dispelling misunderstandings about magical bodies, and instilling the students with the confidence to leave Hogwarts and start families, the Ministry forces returning eighth years to take Magical Health and Sexual Education.

    But it couldn’t just be a ploy to get free labor from the students after a large poaching incident was uncovered? …Right?

    Or; Hermione Granger is forced to co-parent an egg with Draco Malfoy for a school project

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,916
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    426
  8. Tags
    Summary

    She's not supposed to be here-not this late, not this loud, and definitely not in Gryffindor.

    The Crouch family is ancient, noble, and obsessed with tradition.

    Emily? Not so much.

    She arrives at Hogwarts four years behind, cloaked in secrets and wielding a mysterious magic no one understands. From sneaking into the Forbidden Forest to chasing chaos with a more haunted Professor Fig, Emily is anything but a typical Crouch.

    She's a rule-breaker, a people-pleaser, and-worst of all-a Gryffindor.

    ---

    A Hogwarts Legacy retelling that deepens familiar characters, sharpens the stakes, and reimagines the story through the eyes of someone who was never supposed to be part of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,774
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    872
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Harry doesn't want to be a scapegoat, and groomed for killing the dark lord. But who can he ask for help? Its not like his uncle and aunt like him... and other wizarding families have their own agenda, if they can ever stop fawning over like he did something amazing. He doesn't even remember doing anything! When in doubt, Hermione helps out!

    or Harry's wild adventure after overhearing Snape and Dumbledore discussing the plans Dumbledore has for Harry. He'll write his own story, thanks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,324
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    181
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Upon hearing of the escape of infamous criminal, Sirius Black, Her Majesty The Queen calls upon a power now rarely used in the modern day world. Ordering her Guard Dog to investigate the matter thoroughly, unconvinced of the legitimacy of the workings of the Ministry of Magic, she wants to be assured that the criminal is found and detained appropriately.

    Harry Potter meets a new student while staying in the Leaky Cauldron after blowing up his Aunt Marge, trailed by odd servants and with outlandish ideas. He doesn't seem to want to play by the usual rules of Hogwarts at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,502
    Chapters:
    13/19
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    3,524
  11. Tags
    Summary

    On October 31, 1981, after the attack on the Potters, and before Sirius Black can get there, a different man shows up and takes Hadrian Jameson Potter under his care.

    •••

    Many people view the House of Black as a house divided, but they don’t get to see behind closed doors. When a young heir unites the seemingly fractured family, the Wizarding World won’t know what hit them. For, as the saying goes ‘Blacks care for their own’, toujours pur.

    Or, Hadrian Jameson Potter gets raised by snakes and will not take any bullshit because of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,518
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    163
    Kudos:
    909
    Bookmarks:
    335
    Hits:
    22,267
  12. Tags
    Summary

    You could say that Harry's life was simple. Since he had become master of death, Harry had gone through many hardships, but at last he had a moment of peace.

    With a lot of effort, Harry had managed to buy a new world in which he was pretending to be a 15 year old Harry Potter, so his current life was calm and normal.

    If only that bloody Dumbledore hadn’t decided to randomly summon other Harry Potters to defeat Voldemort out of a book he pulled out of his ass.

    Harry didn't know whether to kill Dumbledore or pull his hair out first. His days of peace were over, but more importantly, Harry had to protect the world he had worked so hard to earn from the maniacal intruders.

    If only he could remember where he'd left the bear traps.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,595
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    3,944
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter believed surviving Hogwarts was his greatest feat—until he died.

    Now, every time Harry falls, he, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger awaken on the very first morning of their Hogwarts journey—trapped in a cycle that defies every attempt at change. Only in this fateful rewind does Harry wake at midnight clutching a mysterious token, its silent weight hinting at power and betrayal he cannot yet comprehend.

    Desperate to break the loop, the trio must rewrite doomed moments: spare Cedric Diggory’s final hour, rescue Sirius Black from betrayal, hunt down and destroy every Horcrux, and thwart Voldemort’s rise. But with each alteration, the fabric of time frays and every choice risks unraveling the world they’ve sworn to protect.

    Bound by fate and driven by hope, they must uncover the hand that guides their endless dawn.

    Will tomorrow’s promise be worth the price of a final, unforgiving end ?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,545
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    711
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Thanks,” Harry muttered. He stopped pacing and leaned both hands on the table, breathing hard. “And it’s not even like there’s proof. Just... whispers. A sighting near a village called Ashwick Vale. A cursed manuscript in Knockturn. A dark artifact that ‘felt familiar.’ Honestly, I’d like to see anyone else step up for once.”

    “Of course it’s me,” Harry muttered again, pacing the sitting room like a storm cloud in motion. “Not Kingsley. Not the whole damn Department. Me.”

     

    Years after the war, whispers begin to surface, dark magic in a quiet village, a shadow from the past that refuses to fade.
    Harry Potter, now the Ministry’s top Auror, is sent to investigate. His search leads him to Ashwick Vale, where the view was breathtaking, the villagers warm-hearted, and the local headmaster more interesting than Harry expected.

    Marvolo Gaunt is brilliant, composed, and oddly charming. He runs a magical school tucked between the hills and seems to know Harry better than he should.

    The village is peaceful and beautiful.
    And the longer Harry stays, the harder it is to remember why he came in the first place.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,651
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1,340
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When Hermione accidentally unleashes a horde of mischievous spirits across London, she’s forced to team up with none other than Draco, the reluctant Auror whose been assigned as her protection detail. Armed with ancient Japanese binding magic, a collection of cursed artifacts, and a hefty dose of mutual annoyance (pining), the two must track down and seal the spirits before the Magical and Muggle worlds collide.

    Over eight chaotic months, they’ll face everything from faceless ghosts to trickster foxes, all while navigating an increasingly complicated partnership. Because if there’s one thing more dangerous than a city full of ghosts, it’s working with someone you can’t decide whether to hex or kiss.

    Chaos. Curses. Chemistry. Welcome to the Granger-Malfoy Survival Guide to Magic and Mischief.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    190,463
    Chapters:
    33/42
    Comments:
    289
    Kudos:
    348
    Bookmarks:
    420
    Hits:
    26,853
  16. Tags
    Summary

    McGonagall sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Very well Miss Granger, let’s get started.”
    Harry placed his hand on the cover of the book with the number one on it causing it to glow slightly before it opened. With a flick of his wand Dumbledore, who had a curious look in his eyes as he regarded the now calm, relaxed, and even playful children in front of him, caused the book to start reading on its own.

    OR: Reading the books, but I add my own twist here and there.

    The updates will probably be extremely erratic and slow. So I apologize in advance. I don't own any recognizable work, and I don't agree with JKR's views. Please enjoy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,880
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    3,468
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Without the threat of becoming a Death Eater looming over his head, without his father, and finally meeting the woman after whom he was named, Theo Nott goes to Hogwarts for his fifth year. He is second in line for Black heirship, he's under Potters' care, he can finally stop hiding his interests...

    It's much nicer than he expected.

    Harry Potter plunges headlong into the complex politics inside and outside Hogwarts, into preparations for the civil war, that is hanging in the air, and, as is typical for teenagers, at the same time gets entangled in his own lovelife. And all that in the year he has to take important exams. Really?

    Direct continuation to the fic "Gods' gifts and "normal" people"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,915
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    72
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    2,521
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger is determined to rise all the way to the top. She wants everything and more. On her path to becoming Minister, her current ambition is clear: to secure the position of the Ministry’s Chief Defence Attorney. Suddenly, she finds that Draco Malfoy holds the key to her success and even her future.

    She needs his case, and Malfoy seems to have his own agenda requiring her brilliance. A partnership forged from need in the halls of the Ministry.

    When Malfoy entrusts her with the case of Freya Eldric, accused of murdering her husband, the situation seems hopeless. Hermione quickly realises that not only her career but also the life of a possibly innocent person is at stake, and suddenly she asks herself what justice truly means.
    -----‐------------------
    WIP
    Updates on Tuesdays

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,954
    Chapters:
    6/12
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    480
  19. Tags
    Summary

    So much has happened since the vanquishing of the Dark Lord;
    7 years later - and new charges are being brought against the surviving Death Eaters.

    And for Lucius Malfoy,
    he would rather be Kissed and be done with it.

    Broken,
    that's an apt term for such a thing....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,459
    Chapters:
    4/27
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    287
  20. Tags
    Summary

    WIP. Goblet of Fire fix-it.

    Snape is Over It as soon as Harry's name comes out of the goblet. Snape decides to pull Lupin out of whatever exile he's banished himself to. (The author is highly perturbed that Remus Lupin, the only link Harry has to his dead parents now that Sirius is back on the run, just fucks off after PoA, and then only ever comes back periodically to lecture Harry or try to abandon his own family. Moony, do better.)

    Featuring awkward flirting, snarky Snape (as if there's any other kind), sarcastic Remus, and the only competent witches in the Ministry (that we know of)

    Rated T for excessive use of the f-word, but there's no violence or sexual encounters. Will change rating if necessary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,086
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    655

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