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And Thy Eternal Donna Summer Shall Not Fade by Lwwyrd
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
29 Aug 2025
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It's Seventies Night at Spanish Jackie's.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Ed had pressed. “The clothes. The music. And Iz, Iz”—there had been an almost manic gleam in his eyes—“there’ll be dancing.”
Yes, indeed. There would be dancing. And Ed loved to dance.
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A Tale of Love and Mischief by Tired_Lazarus, vexbatch
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
08 Jul 2025
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They sat in companionable silence, Ed texting as they watched people pulling up some shitty linoleum. Izzy caught a glance of Ed’s screen—Stede Bonnet. He must not have swallowed his noise of derision well enough, because Ed looked over at him.
When Izzy tags along with Ed to review the local ren faire, they run into a certain influencer that Izzy has learned to hate. While Ed and Stede hit it off immediately, Izzy takes a little longer to warm up.
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Show Me Your Heart and I'll Show You My Blood by billowyy
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Mar 2025
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“All your nonsense about trying to get me fucking pregnant, and guess what? You weren’t even the one who knocked me up. Wanna take a guess, old man?”
Hornigold’s eyes swivel over the men circled around him and quickly land on Edward. Edward smiles at him and gives him a little wave. Hornigold’s brow furrows, he turns his hateful eyes back Izzy, and just as he’s about to open his mouth to call Izzy a whore or a bitch or whatever the fuck, Izzy raises the pistol.
Or Izzy kills his captain during a mutiny, and then basks in the afterglow with Edward and their child.
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Ed swears he didn’t start it on purpose.
Ed discovers how easily he can manipulate Izzy through the insanely strong combination of scent and memory. He decides to have fun with it, until he maybe goes too far?
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Izzy knows his scent is disgusting. He knows it.
He’s known it since he presented and his sister cared for him through his first heat with a rag held to her nose. He has spent his life hiding it, covering it up, drinking daily suppressant tea and chewing on ginger root.
It works, for the most part, but every so often his body won’t take it any more, needs to release his hormones and go through heat whether he likes it or not. He tries to get as far away from port as possible when he feels it starting. When he’s really desperate he’ll hire an Alpha and pay them extra to shut the fuck up. It isn’t ideal, but it’s fine.
He’s fine.
or; Izzy has spent his life feeling broken, but maybe all he needed was the right Alpha to prove him wrong.
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Ed buys a strange painting for Izzy as an apology gift for an anniversary gone wrong. Neither of them is prepared for how this painting in particular would change their lives forever.
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Stede has been trapped in a painting for three hundred years and is surprised to reawaken in a room with two very oddly familiar faces. How is he meant to recover his memory? ...and what the actual fuck is a 'car?'
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“I’ve been thinking that, perhaps, it’d be nice if Izzy and I could have, um, sex as well.” He eyes Ed with some trepidation. “If Izzy’s willing, of course! Which is why I’ve been asking about wooing him, as you’ve probably already figured out.”
Ed doesn’t look surprised, which confirms Stede’s suspicion. “I don’t think you’ll need to do any of that, babe. Just talk to him about it."
Stede decides to woo Izzy like he deserves and invites him for dinner. Good food, nice candles, a romantic sunset... Stede has thought this through. His wooing will go perfectly.
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“Captain,” said the ensign manning the communications console. “We’re being hailed.”
Ed’s eyes boggled. Izzy couldn’t fault him for the disbelief in his voice as he said, “By fucking who?”
The ensign tremulously responded, “The Starship Revenge, sir.”
Ed’s spine went from a relaxed, exhausted parabola to a straight line so quickly that it had to have hurt. He snapped, “Open a frequency.”
The ensign did so immediately. As soon as he did, the room was filled with static, the unmistakable sound of phaser fire, and a terrified voice shrieking.
“Help! Oh God, please help us!”The United Starship Queen Anne receives a distress signal from within the No Man’s Land of the Romulan Neutral Zone--a starship stranded under mysterious circumstances without the capacity for warp travel. Captain Edward Teach, disenchanted with life in space and Starfleet, mounts an unsanctioned rescue mission. Quickly, it comes to light that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to the Revenge and her crew. Secrets will be revealed, long-overdue conversations will be had, and Stede Bonnet might show the old dogs of the Queen Anne’s command team some new tricks.
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[podfic] boiling frogs by florence_pods (florence_after_midnight) for lovedhands
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
13 Oct 2024
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Audio Length: 46:41
Izzy’s not meeting his gaze. There’s a glint in his eyes, his gaze trained further down, right on Stede’s—
His hands fly in front of his crotch to cover himself.
Izzy tuts. “Come on. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
Freshly eighteen and newly transitioning, Stede happens upon a gruff trans man with much more experience and lessons to teach.
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You'll hear me howling outside your door by girlwithbook, Kende
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Jul 2024
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Ed and Izzy have lived as a mated pair of werewolves for decades, living cautiously and on the outskirts, relying on one another only.
But when bodies start to turn up, their secret is dangerously close to getting out. They venture out to track down and fight back against the rogue pack of werewolves responsible, trying to reclaim their peace back. Only one wolf runs away from the fight; they find him hiding in the woods, terrified and desperate for help. What should Ed and Izzy do with him? -
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“Captain?” The man asks instead. “This isn’t the Queen Anne’s Revenge?”
“This is The Revenge.” Stede clarifies.
The man closes his eyes, sucks a breath in through his teeth, the lights flare again.
“Have you sacrificed any poultry recently?” A ridiculous question, asked completely seriously.
“I did request Roach make up a canard a l’orange so I suppose someone in the vicinity may have.”
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In which Edward summons a demon, Izzy gets lost en route, and Stede finds himself one corner of a very complicated love triangle.
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This could NOT have been an email by Urethra_Franklin (Thunder_Puss)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
18 Apr 2024
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Stede and Frenchie are out of town on a work trip and catch the eye of a couple of swingers. Unfortunately, they aren't a couple.
(They're a couple of dumdums, though)
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For the first fourteen years of his life, Israel can’t recall ever being close enough with someone to the point where he’d consider them a best friend. Then he finds himself in an alley protecting some kids from a pair of bullies, and he comes out the other side with not one, but two best friends.
Or steddyhands through the years.
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The crew go on a winter vacation. Ed and Izzy find a moment of privacy.
Stede is there for 1 second.
It's porn.
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Gentleman Thief Stede is new on the scene and well and truly cocks up his first heist, somehow this leads to him literally tripping his way into a situationship with notorious married Mob bosses Edward Teach and Israel Hands. Filthy smut ensues.
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Izzy feebly tried to push Ed away, her bladder protesting every second she wasn't allowing it release. She felt the weight of two iced coffees and a liter of water inside her, threatening to burst out, a pressure right under Ed’s hand on her lower stomach.
Ed just smirked, as much as she could with her mouth full of cunt, and redoubled her efforts with a bob of her curly head.
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Even with the new prosthetic, perfectly fitted and upholstered to accommodate the shape of his stump, some days the pain is unbearable. Today, Izzy could swear his missing foot is cramping up, and he’d kill for a chance to properly stretch out the muscles.
He always avoids bothering Ed with it, though.Ed takes care of the pain in Izzy's amputated leg.
Series
- Part 11 of florence's tweetfics
- Part 2 of loosely s2 compliant fics
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Ed drummed his fingers on the table. “Iz? Mate?”
He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “You twat. You’ll fucking regret this, you know?”
“Izzy, he just needs an escort to take him to another kingdom. It’ll be a week or two on the road with a rich lord and the Duke of Bridgetown will pay us more money than we’ve seen in a lifetime.”
Steddy Hands Bodyguard AU. Ed and Izzy escort Stede to his wedding to Badminton, but along the way, they discover feelings for one another. Rated E for canon-typical violence and smut. Written for OFFP!
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Izzy is dating Ed.
Stede is dating Ed.
Izzy is not dating Stede. At first he couldn't stand the man, but somewhere along the way he's somehow found himself dragged kicking and screaming into possibly, maybe, actually... liking the blonde idiot? Shocking, he knows.
Thankfully both Stede and Ed are unaware of his inappropriate... interest (Izzy refuses to call it a crush, he'd rather die), because Izzy is pretty sure that Edward "jealousy" Teach wouldn't take that very well.
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Stede has returned, and he and Ed are enjoying all the bliss of their new-found desire. Izzy loves Edward enough to give up everything for his happiness, even if it means leaving him and all they have built over years as sworn partners in matelotage. But if a ship can have two captains, surely Edward can have two loves? Or what is piracy for?