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Simon wilts under the pressure, but needing to have the last word he replies sarcastically, “Sure thing Dad”.
Raphael’s eyes widen “What did you just call me?” Simon looks up at him, placing the now empty glass back on the table in front of him as he licks fresh blood off his lips, “Dad, y’know, Daddy, cos like you’re making me –“
Raphael waves his hands in front of Simon “Please stop” he looks around uncomfortably before speeding away.
Bookmarked by JdReal
22 Oct 2025
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Hate Me in the Morning by Remy_Writes5
Fandoms: Marvel (Comics), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
23 Feb 2016
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Peter has had a long day and his solution is to get drunk with Wade.
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Peter couldn’t be more stunned when Deadpool abruptly slips to the ground cross-legged, tosses the collar at Peter, and casually says, “Put it on me, Spider-Man.”
He doesn’t say Webs, or Webster or any other nickname he’s come up with. Not even baby boy. It’s Spider-Man.
Deadpool wants Spider-Man to put the collar on him.
---
Or: An accidental meeting turns into what Deadpool himself describes as "stalking-lite". What is Spider-Man supposed to do when Deadpool won't stop following him around like a lovesick puppy?
Series
- Part 1 of New Tricks
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BDE (Big Dick Emergency) by DerRumtreiber
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
21 Aug 2021
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“Oh my god,” he says again. “Oh. My. Gaa-awd, Becky. Did you?” Wade is visibly vibrating. “Did you really say ‘giant penis problem’? Really? Truly?”
“What did you think I meant the first time?” Peter asks through clenched teeth.
“I dunno, wrong hole?”
~*~*~
Or, the one where Peter is in need of some practical advice, and Wade is always happy to share his
assknowledge.Series
- Part 7 of Spidey Bingos 2021
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Wade Wilson's bodygaurd service by zzeacat
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), Avengers (Comics), Deadpool (Movieverse)
29 Dec 2024
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Summary
The fic where Wade is assigned to bodyguard Peter Parker the hot nerd disaster. He has no idea he is Spider-Man. And no Idea why the hot nerd flirts with him!?
aka I put these two idiots together and let them flirt and make jokes too much.“Dildos are in the bedside draw but they are the boring kind that shit is expensive.”
“Don’t I know it I have some of the Avengers collectibles. The Hulk… Spider-Man”
Peter whips his head around.
“How do you make a Spider-Man one interesting? He is just a guy under the suit.”
Deadpool gasps
“Just a… just a guy! He has one of the nicest asses in existence! “
“Pretty sure dildos don't include the ass.”
“True but it is the thought that counts. The dildo has webbing ridges the added texture really…”
Peter throws a pair of socks at Wade who dodges.
“I have heard enough. Don’t come crying when Spider-Man's perfectly average dick disappoints you.”
Wade points at Peter scowling.
“Get Spider-Mans amazing dick out of your mouth.”
“It was never in my….”
Peter pauses.
Bookmarked by JdReal
18 Oct 2025
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Hear Me Out by Lights_on_but_nobody_home
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
25 Jan 2025
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“Hear me out...Deadpool.” Peter said as he stuck the picture into the cake.
“Oh, come on, man! That guy is conventionally attractive.” Shouted one of Mary Jane’s friends.
“I mean the muscles alone…” Another person said.
“Ok, Let me rephrase,” Peter said, “Deadpool- without the mask.”
“Ooooh, okay, never mind, that’s a good one,” the first guy said, and the other people nodded or hummed in agreement.
a Hear-Me-Out-cake fic inspired by the prompt from Argan!
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adverse possession by thistleraven for Iliedaboutthechocolates
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
10 Feb 2025
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Summary
"Adverse Possession is....legal doctrine that allows a person to claim ownership of land that belongs to someone else."
Peter's curious about prostates. Wade offers his (and everything else) up for experimentation.
Series
- Part 11 of scenes from the spideypool discord
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,518
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 627
- Bookmarks:
- 94
- Hits:
- 5,680
Bookmarked by JdReal
18 Oct 2025
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when did you get hot? by marvelousmal
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
12 Oct 2025
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Summary
"Well, this is definitely thickening the plot. And other things."
Peter realizing Wade is hot. Horniness, dirty thoughts, and shenanigans ensue.
Based on the song When Did You Get Hot? by Sabrina Carpenter
Series
- Part 8 of spideypool shenanigans
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Paradise (spread out with a butter knife) by Sarah_Sandwich
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics)
17 Jan 2021
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Summary
He sighs from where he’s prone, arms akimbo, and roof gravel digging into his spine. “I lost my job. My… other job. The one that actually pays the bills.”
He doesn’t want to dwell on why he’s telling Deadpool of all people. Surely it has nothing to do with his desperate lack of friends. MJ is in California chasing her dreams, Harry’s undergoing treatment for his mental health and isn’t allowed visitors (not that it matters since they blacklisted Peter after last time), and Gwen… Well.
And it’s not like he can talk to Aunt May without her worrying about him starving to death under a bridge or something so… Deadpool it is. Man, when did his life get this pathetic?
OR: The one where Peter and Wade are literal soulmates but don't realize it for literal years because they're literal idiots.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,376
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 21
- Comments:
- 878
- Kudos:
- 13,037
- Bookmarks:
- 3,669
- Hits:
- 145,296
Bookmarked by JdReal
13 Oct 2025
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Shoot to Thrill, Play to Kill by spxdypool (smileyriley31)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
22 Jul 2025
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Summary
As soon as Wade sees him, pressed right up against the barrier, he walks over to him. This sweet-faced thing, a sharpie clamped between his teeth and a band tee rolled up to his collarbones, showing off a freckled chest and surprisingly toned pecs in clear invitation. Laughing, Wade slopes right into his personal space, draping over the barrier to pry the marker from his mouth.
"Nice tits ya got there," he calls over the roar of the crowd, uncapping the sharpie with his own teeth, watching a soft blush roll down the pale expanse of skin. Glancing up, he finds big, starry brown eyes gazing down at him and a pretty pink mouth curled into a lopsided grin.
"Thanks," he calls back, and rolls his shirt up a little higher, back arching slightly to push his chest toward Wade's face. "Sign 'em for me?"
AKA
When you're as famous as Wade Wilson is, staying humble is a difficult task – and groupies with big brown eyes and bare chests aren't really helping his cause.
AKA AKA
Wade, lead singer of Mercs for Money, is an egotistical asshole, Peter is his biggest fan and wants something to prove it, and Logan is sick of Wade's shit (but what's new?).
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Angel Of Music by spxdypool (smileyriley31)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
02 Aug 2025
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Summary
It should hurt, in fact it does, but it's also Wade's hands on him and grabbing him and holding him down and his brain just isn't working right, okay? That must be it – he's blood-dizzy and zoned out on adrenaline, and at the first pass of needle through skin he makes a noise – thick, needy, drawn out. Fingers gripping at the couch cushions until the fabric tears beneath them.
“Hnn… hah.”
“Sorry, Pete, I–” Cutting himself off mid-apology, Wade suddenly looks up at him, and Peter can tell he's making a face even with the mask on. There's a pause. For a second it feels like Wade is staring a hole straight into his stupid, slow brain. Peter's breath comes out hot, heavy, shaky. Then, slowly, with realization: “That wasn't from pain.”
Shaking his head weakly, Peter presses his free hand over his eyes and squeezes at his temples, humiliated. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “I can do it myself if you want.”
AKA
At-home stitches gone sexual SOMEHOW, Peter's a freak and so is Wade (but we all knew that), and once again tagging a fic has made me self-reflect.
Bookmarked by JdReal
12 Oct 2025
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My, My, My, My Serpentine by spxdypool (smileyriley31)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
08 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Huh,” he says softly, unable to restrain the intrigue in his voice. There’s another, heavier throb beneath his hand, and then–
Peter
Making an extremely undignified, unmanly noise, Peter jumps back. Even still, his hand clings, involuntarily stuck – something that happened a lot when he first got his powers, but hasn’t in years. It makes a familiar but ancient panic swell in his throat, and he immediately tries to tug it back to his body. It doesn't budge, so after a few more frantic yanks he anxiously resigns himself to his current position.
Nervously, he glances around, then asks, “What was that?”
And then, again:
Peter
It’s certainly not a thought that comes from Peter, but it feels close, like it could be a thought that comes from him, like something nestled into the shell of his skull and started whispering manipulations against his brain.
Come
Deeper
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Halo by Pancake22
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics), Spider-Man (Comicverse), Deadpool (Comics)
07 Feb 2021
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Summary
Convinced that Spider-Man is hiding in plain sight as an employee at Parker Industries, Deadpool explores the building in hopes of spotting his friend amongst the sea of corporate drones. All to offer him a job opportunity, of course. That was it though. Honest.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,179
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 56
- Kudos:
- 2,094
- Bookmarks:
- 239
- Hits:
- 15,334
Bookmarked by JdReal
11 Oct 2025
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Finite State by Scarlet_Ribbons
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
04 Mar 2019
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Summary
“Hiya, Peter,” Deadpool is standing there in all his red and black glory, sounding deceptively cheerful. All too cheerful, in fact, for a gun resting against one muscular thigh and a hand reaching back to, no doubt, grab a katana. “Peter Parker,” Deadpool continues, saying his name like he wants to bite into it. It’s actually kind of hot. God. Focus, Peter. Is Deadpool seriously going to try to kill him now?
All too late, Peter realizes that Spider-Man never responded to Deadpool’s messages.
--
When he's blackmailed by, of all people, a weird work acquaintance who needs Spider-Man gone for obviously illegal purposes, Peter is forced to hang up the suit- at least temporarily -until he can resolve the situation. Unfortunately, things start to get sticky when Deadpool, who Spider-Man's been on-again off-again with (okay, yeah, lowkey messing around with), crashes into Peter's life and demands the photographer help him figure out what's got his favorite webhead so spooked.
Peter's life is really weird.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,240
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 713
- Kudos:
- 10,841
- Bookmarks:
- 2,280
- Hits:
- 135,003
Bookmarked by JdReal
11 Oct 2025
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I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by mokuyoubi
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Deadpool (2016), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
26 Dec 2018
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Summary
There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new.
[[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]]
[Don’t make an ass of yourself.]
“Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point...
OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.Series
- Part 1 of I Think I Missed a Step
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To Mess With, or Not To Mess With (CYOA) by TrashyPandas (BlueJayFan)
Fandoms: Suits (US TV 2011)
05 Sep 2025
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Summary
You’re staring at the screen like it’s a flatline, and honestly, it might as well be. Legal documents crawl across it in font size ten, double-spaced, no pictures, no drama. Just paragraph after paragraph of clauses that could put even Louis to sleep if he weren’t so masochistically obsessed with them. You rub your eyes, not because you’re tired—though you are—but because you’re trying to remember if staring too long at contracts can actually rot your brain. You wouldn’t be surprised if it could.
Then, like divine intervention in an Armani suit, Harvey saunters by. He’s flipping through a file, eyes darting over the pages, and not once does he break stride. It’s ridiculous. It’s unfair. It’s also... an opportunity.
--
Or, a choose-your-own-adventure-styled fic where you play as Mike and get the chance to mess with Harvey. -
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Summary
He thought it would just be a speech. A few jokes, a glass raised, nothing more. But when Harvey speaks, it sounds like vows, and Mike isn’t the only one who hears it.
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what does it mean to you? (for me, it's something i just do) by niðavellir (KingPreussen)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
23 Nov 2024
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Summary
Peter stumbled headfirst into Wade's apartment through the narrow bathroom window and almost brained himself on the edge of the bathtub.
Dizziness clouded his thoughts, like vertigo, like the first time he took a leap off of a building and trusted he would be able to catch himself. He desperately wanted to sleep now that he was safe but every time he so much as closed his eyes for too long--
He didn't know if he'd made it in time. He didn't want to know.
---
Peter gets much-needed comfort after a hard patrol.
Series
Bookmarked by JdReal
08 Oct 2025
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Date Crashing by imnotvenus
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
27 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Hey, uh. Can you come pick me up?”
MJ sets Peter up on a blind date, except it sucks. After hiding in the bathroom, Peter decides to call Deadpool for a pickup, even though he hasn't told the merc of his identity yet.
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Summary
“You read this list,” Robards said, far more serious than Harry had seen him since their last big bust. “You can’t unread it. You know that right? There are over four hundred names on this list. I’m willing to bet you know a few of them.”
That was what Harry was both afraid of and needed to know like he needed to fucking breathe. It haunted him that the list existed. That Robards and Merlin-even-knew who else had read it. Probably laughed about it. He would not be the only one out of the loop.
No matter how humiliating it would be.
.
.
.
Or, someone has been selling replicas of Harry's prick. Draco Malfoy's name shows up on the buyer list.Series
- Part 1 of The Cost of Dignity (and Dildos)
Bookmarked by JdReal
08 Oct 2025