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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Oct 2025
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Summary
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,567
- Chapters:
- 42/?
- Comments:
- 1,065
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- 5,398
- Bookmarks:
- 1,682
- Hits:
- 150,721
Bookmarked by clara_lesath
14 Sep 2025
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Summary
Harry Potter is informed in third year that he's technically Lord Slytherin by Right of Conquest since he killed the basilisk. This is very stupid, but on the other hand, if Harry can use it to protect people and solve their problems, he will. (it's still stupid, though).
- Words:
- 189,086
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 2,915
Bookmarked by clara_lesath
23 Jul 2025
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Marriage, Murder, and Other Misfortunes by Spookyandcooky
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 Sep 2025
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Five years after the Battle of Hogwarts, the wizarding world is what you might call “a godsdamned mess.” The population is dwindling, the economy is suffering, and Hermione Granger has decided to pursue an arranged marriage—but only so she can be nominated to the antiquated Wizengamot, of course. After all, the Wizengamot is ignoring the world’s problems, and Hermione is determined to fix them. Granted, she never expected to be matched with Draco sodding Malfoy—the newest DMLE consultant who wears his Azkaban tattoos as proudly as his childhood sneer. But admittedly, between the turbulence of her farcical relationship, corrupt politicians, and a serial killer on the loose, nothing in Hermione’s life is going according to plan. Maybe hate sex with her husband will help?
[Updates every 1-2 weeks]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 232,512
- Chapters:
- 33/38
- Collections:
- 1
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- 1,952
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- 4,017
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- 2,971
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Bookmarked by clara_lesath
10 Jul 2025
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Summary
The war is over. Draco Malfoy is the only one left.
Hogwarts has fallen. Harry Potter is dead. The Dark Lord has won.
But the Veil—a tear between worlds—offers Draco one last chance to make it right.
Hurled back to 1942, armed with Death’s wand and a singular, burning purpose, Draco must do the unthinkable: stop Tom Riddle before he becomes Voldemort. End the darkness before it ever begins.
But Tom isn’t a monster yet.
He’s a curious, magnetic boy with too many questions and eyes that seem to see right through him. A boy who is terrifyingly clever. Disarmingly charming. Achingly alone.
Draco was never meant to care.
He came to rewrite the future.
Not to fall for the boy destined to destroy it.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 215,748
- Chapters:
- 11/?
- Comments:
- 346
- Kudos:
- 756
- Bookmarks:
- 137
- Hits:
- 18,613
Bookmarked by clara_lesath
04 Jul 2025
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Beneath the Lamb's skin is a Wolf's mind by RiddleInsomnia
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 Aug 2025
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Summary
“Pelle sub agnina latitat mens saepe lupina.”
“A new spell… a new one. The Patronus may not work for now but…” Death hums, guiding Harry's hand.
There's a buzz in his hand, hesitating as he grips his wand tightly. He glances back at Death's faceless figure, taking in deep breaths as he nods. Death hums once more, sounding quite proud and he's practically elated.
“You will know the word, little one… You've etched it into your soul without knowing.” Death chuckles, disappearing.
(Or, Death somehow makes Harry an academic maniac while the Dark Lord is just questioning how the boy-who-lived is a Gryffindor.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,363
- Chapters:
- 18/40
- Comments:
- 306
- Kudos:
- 2,312
- Bookmarks:
- 857
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- 70,694
Bookmarked by clara_lesath
09 Apr 2025