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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Admitting it won’t make Dean any more inconsolable than he already is, and he’ll never feel Cas’ absence any more or any less acutely than he does in this exact moment. “He’s gone,” Dean finally admits, because it seems like the only thing left to say.

    When the terrible, swollen vacancy of the room offers no recourse, Sam says, “I know.”

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    17 Oct 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean doesn’t know what to do. Dean wants to say stay with me, stay with me and never leave. Dean wants to apologize. Dean wants to set his mouth at the hollow of Cas’s throat as gently as he’s ever done anything, feel the beat of Cas’s heart beneath his lips. Dean is so lonely, and he’s missed him so much.

    *

    A year and a half after Cas is saved from the Empty, Dean is living out his days alone on a piece of farmland in rural Kansas. One day, Cas shows up on his porch.

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    16 Oct 2025

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Freedom is just one adjustment after the next.

    ~~~

    Cas hums again. "I think you already have. It's been months since everything settled. All that's left to do is...get used to it, and perhaps—" His voice stalls out, uncharacteristically, and his gaze roams Dean's face with intensity. When he speaks next, his tone is a little raw. "Perhaps what one does with peace is...whatever they want."

    "What if I don't even know what that is?" Dean grumbles, arching an eyebrow in challenge. "'Cause I know damn well you don't just mean good food and a good bed and time in Baby, not simple wants like that. You mean—ya know, the big things, the wants we didn't get to have before."

    "Yes," Cas agrees. "If you're not sure, figure it out."

    "Easier said than done."

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    15 Oct 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean takes a really, really long drive to kick fear in the ass. It might just be the best thing he ever decides to do.

    ~~~

    The seat squeaks, and Dean follows the sound, his gaze trailing down. There—where Jack sat moments ago—is a much tinier version of him. He looks mostly the same, just...smaller and more dimply and cuter, if that's possible. His clothes have shrunk to fit him, so he's casually sitting in a t-shirt, jeans, and scuffed tennis shoes. He swings his feet from side-to-side over the edge of Baby's seat the same way Sam used to in the back, and he stares up at Dean with clear eyes. 

    "Oh," Dean blurts out, eyes bulging, "Cas is going to fucking kill me." 

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    15 Oct 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Cas comes back. It's not exactly the reunion that Dean is expecting.

    ~~~

    Dean stares at him, flummoxed. Cas quite literally poured his heart out to Dean, gave a truly sappy and distressingly romantic speech and everything, then proceeded to give his life so that Dean could live his. And he wants to act like he doesn't want to see Dean, be around him, touch him?

    Actually, Dean's ninety-nine percent sure that Cas probably wants to fuck him, and while he has no clue how he feels about that, he's pretty goddamn sure that means Cas doesn't get to act like this and make it authentic.

    It feels strangely real, though, as if Cas wants nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible. This is a blatant contradiction. Even someone as weird as Cas doesn't want to get away from the person they have the desire to fuck five ways to Sunday, that they're in love with. That's not how these things work, so Dean isn't buying it.

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    14 Oct 2025