Chapter Text
Karkat P.O.V. (stilll)
The next morning I woke up to the soft muffled buzzing of my phone getting a text message. It was Meenah asking if I remembered that I had to come in today at 8. It was currently 8:15. Fuck. I groaned and rubbed my eyes some. The first thing I noticed was that these sheets were not my own sheets. I looked around the room and confirmed that it was in fact not my own room either. I glanced to the other side of the bed to see a mess of blonde hair sprawled across the pillow that belonged to a familiar face. He was still asleep, which was good, but I certainly didn’t want to wake him. I had no memory of the night before so I had no idea why I was here or what had happened. All I knew was that I was probably at risk of losing my job if I didn’t get my ass there pronto. Worrying about this emotional shit could wait.
I carefully got up out of the bed and looked around to find my clothes. Seeing nothing on the floor and realizing I wasn’t in fact wearing them, I left the room to look through the apartment. When I found my shit on the couch I quickly stripped off the t-shirt and boxers I had apparently borrowed from Dave and put my own clothes back on, shoving my phone in my back pocket. This wasn’t work appropriate attire, but at least it was mine. If I was fast enough I could probably drive home and get something and still make it to work only forty-five minutes late, which in all honesty wasn’t bad compared to some coworkers records.
After fighting with the slide chain thing at the top of the door I finally made my exit, praying that I didn’t wake him up with the noise from the metal. I pulled out my phone to check the time and sighed. 8:19am. Now to be quite honest I thought about leaving a note, but I was in a hurry so instead I sent him a few quick messages on HassleMate.
CG: DAVE
CG: SORRY
CG: HAD TO RUN TO WORK
CG: NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.
CG: I BLACKED OUT
CG: HANGOVERS SUCK ASS
CG: TEXT ME LATER TO FILL ME IN ON WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED PLEASE AND HOW I WOUND UP AT YOUR PLACE
CG: ALSO SORRY FOR WHATEVER I SAID LAST NIGHT. I PROMISE I DIDN’T MEAN ANY OF THAT BULLSHIT.
That out of the way, I started down the metal staircase and dug around in my pockets for my keys only to realize I didn’t have them on me. Like hell I was going back in the building now though. So when I reached ground level, I looked around the street to get my bearings. That’s when I realized that I also didn’t have my car. Just fucking peachy. I could only hope that it was still at the club or that I had given my keys to Eridan or Sollux or even Roxy. Above all I hoped it wasn’t fucking stolen. That would just be the cherry on top of the cake, wouldn’t it?
I started to walk down the block until I reached a crossroad that I recognized. I was closer to work than I was to home so I headed there right away, knowing full well I was going to get my ass chewed one way or another. Even if I’d gone home I’d be in trouble for being so damn late. So I decided I’d rather be a little late and wrongly dressed with a write up than properly dressed but like two hours late and fired.
It was a nice morning for a walk. Not too bright, which was a blessing on my hungover eyes. In fact it seemed pretty overcast, like it might rain later today if the clouds kept rolling in like they were. It only took me about 35 minutes to arrive at work. Making me only about an hour late in total. The place was still empty enough this early in the morning so that was a plus. Sollux fucking stopped what he was doing and wolf-whistled when I walked in.
“So, looks like someone had a pretty nice night, since you’re still wearing the same clothes from the club.” Him and his stupid lisp, mocking me. Unlike his boyfriend, he hadn’t grown out of his speech impediment, likely because his family couldn’t afford the expensive vocal lessons when he was a kid. Now he was past the point of caring enough to do anything about it.
“Fuck you. I’m not in the mood for this shit.” I flipped him off and walked into the back. Vriska passed me on my way to Meenah’s office and eyed me suspiciously.
“I don’t think that get-up’s gonna be ok with the boss, but it’s your funeral.” She said in passing. I groaned and leaned against the wall in the kitchen, collecting myself before I literally murdered one of my co-workers. Sollux came through the doors to the back a moment later, still grinning like he was so fucking proud.
“So how was he?” Sollux asks.
“How was who?”
“The guy you went home with. You might as well give me the details so I don’t have to hear them from Eridan later. C’mon KK. We’re buds, you can tell me.”
“I have no fucking idea what the hell you are even talking about.”
“Wait, you did have sex with him right? That’s why you’re still in the same clothes…” He trailed off.
I pinched my nose and sighed before looking at him again, very irritated. “Let me rephrase my last answer. I don’t care to know what the fuck you’re talking about because I was really drunk last night. I don’t remember a goddamn thing. I don’t know why it’s any of your fucking business. AND, we both have jobs to do that don’t include sitting around gossiping like a gaggle of teenage cheerleaders at a sleepover. Do us both a favor and get your ass back out front in case a customer shows up.”
“Geeze, since when did you become a manager?” He asked, clearly put off by my lack of cooperation with his stupid drama fest.
“I’m not, but seeing as I’m fucking late, Meenah is going to be pissed already. Do you also want to be on her bad side today for being lazy as all shit? I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to poke an angry animal with a stick and provoke it, Sollux.” He seemed at a loss for words so I pointed to the door and he left me the fuck alone. I raked my hands through my probably completely fucked up hair and took a deep breath before knocking on the office door to the she-devil that would probably grill my ass and put it on the specials menu for this week.
Meenah opened the door with a smile that immediately faded when she got a good look at me. “What the fuck a you wearin?” She snapped.
“Can I talk to you in the office?” I asked, resigned to being polite for fucking once in my life. I think that shocked her more than anything else so she just nodded and stepped to the side so I could join her.
“What’s up kat? What’s got you all ruffled now? Who do I have to beat up?” She asked, closing the door and making her way back to her desk chair.
“Well for starters you won’t be beating up anyone. Unless that someone is me, because I’m the one who fucked up this time.” I sighed.
“I doubt that, but go ahead and tell mama Meenah all about it.” She propped her head up on her hands and leaned forward on her desk.
“Long story short, I got way too fucking drunk last night. I totally blacked out. Woke up, not at home, without my car so I had to walk here. That’s why I’m late and dressed like I am. I feel fucking awful about it. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to write me up for all this. Or if you wanted to send me home for the day or some shit. Honestly, I’d fire my dumb ass for something this irresponsible.”
“Clam it. I don’t wanna hear nothin more. You ain’t in trouble. No write ups. I’ll call in a replacement, put Vris in charge, an I’ll even drive ya home. This kinda thing happens to the best of us an it rarely happens to you. I’ll let it slide since it’s ya first offense. Jus don’t make a halibut of it or I won’t be as nice aboat it.” She sighed, grabbing her purse, keys, and cell phone.
“You really don’t have to do that. I can walk myself home. It’s no big deal.”
“Shut it. You’ve been through enough this mornin, ya don’t have a jacket, an it’s like 45 degrees out. Don’t want ya catchin cold an missin’ more work.” I was about to protest again but honestly, I was tired, hungover, and she kinda had a point.
“Thanks.” I muttered quietly, following her out of the office.
“Don’t think you don’t owe me one. You’re gonna have to pick up another shift this week ta make up for today.”
“It’s gonna have to be Wednesday then, because I’m supposed to go to a thing on Friday.” I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to will away the beginnings of a migraine.
“A thing? Kat that ain’t at all specific or a good enough excuse.” She locked the office door and turned to me, hand on her hips.
“If I told you it was with that guy from yesterday you all tried so fucking hard to get me to like, would that make you feel better about it?”
“Shell yes. Nevamind. Excuse accepted. I’ll take a look at Wednesday when I get back.” She then led us out of the building yelling a quick, “Vris don’t burn down the place. I’ll be back soon.” and then we were on the road. I’d never realized that Meenah listened to rap until I had to spend 20 minutes in her car with her. Not only that but she knew all the words to almost every single rap song on the radio, an impressive feat in itself. I went to check my phone only to find that it was now completely dead. So I let myself get distracted in the beat of each song, zoning out for the most part until Meenah needed help finding my apartment. She knew what complex I lived in but not which building in the complex so I had to direct her around the place.
When I got out I offered to pay her for the ride, but of course she waved it off, telling me to get some rest and maybe not party so hard next time I’ve got an early morning shift. I agreed and watched her pull out of the complex before walking up to my apartment door and praying that Eridan was home and awake enough to answer the door. What with my keys missing and my phone dead, my only other option would be to break into my own apartment. Eridan had already asked the landlord too many times to come unlock the door for him since he always misplaced his keys. The guy had said that next time he needed to come unlock it for us he was going to charge a service fee because it was getting ridiculous. All that aside I knocked on the door, waiting for an answer. It didn’t come the first few times. Another ten minutes of standing outside when it dawned on me that we actually did have a fucking doorbell. I’d forgotten because the damn thing never got used. So I rang the doorbell instead. Repeatedly and rapidly. Like a goddamn child.
The door was finally opened by a very grumpy Eridan who looked absolutely wrecked. He was wrapped in a blanket and squinted at me.
“W-why didn’t you use your fuckin keys?” He asked, yawning after his question.
“I fucking would’ve if I had them. Do you know where the fuck they are?” I walked inside, closing the door and toeing off my shoes at the matt like a decent fucking person.
“Oh, right. You gave em to me an Sol last night.” He chuckled, sheepishly.
“Wait. You remember last night?”
“Yea. You don’t? I snapchatted the whole thing too.”
“My phone is fucking dead you asswipe. Fucking hell. Please fill me in. Ohmygod. I haven’t blacked out like that since my fucking 21st birthday.”
“Hm. Lemme get some clothes on an make a cup a tea first an I’ll tell you an show you what I know.” He mosied on back into his bedroom and pushed the door almost all the way closed.
“Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower while you do all that shit.” I grumbled loud enough so he could hear. I tossed my dead phone on my bed and grabbed one of my usual home lounging outfits of a random graphic tee and some boxers. Then I made my way into the bathroom. While stripping down I noticed a few odd scratches and bruises on my body but ignored them in favor of the allure of a hot shower. I could worry about shit after I found out just what the hell I did the night before.
Half an hour later Eridan and I were finally situated at our small dining room table and ready to talk about what the hell had actually happened last night. He had his stupid ass tea and I had a sloppily poured bowl of cereal because i was fucking starving.
“So I think we should start with snapchat an see if you have any questions from there. Sound good?” I shoved a spoonful of captain crunch in my mouth and gave him a thumbs up.
The first snap he showed me was a video of me grinding up on like five different people on the dancefloor and attempting to sing along to the music. It was utterly embarrassing to say the least.
“Please tell me you’re going to delete these shitty videos after you show them to me. I don’t fucking need everyone on your friends list seeing this shit.” I complained. Eridan didn’t say a damn word in response, which told me that basically he wasn’t going to.
The next one was another video of sollux cackling like a maniac and shouting “KK’s fucking wasted!” then the camera turned to me, screaming the lyrics to the cha cha slide and doing the dance very fucking poorly. I’d never live any of this shit down.
The third one was simply a picture, but it was a picture of me. I was back at the bar with like ten shots lined up in front of me and Roxy winking for the picture. What a fucking bitch. Why didn’t she fucking cut me off? The caption there read “shots shots shots shots”.
“Wow, Eridan. You are just the fucking best at captions. Way to state the obvious.”
“It’s a song reference you fuckin dunce.” He seethed back. “Just keep on goin. It gets good.”
The fourth thing Eridan’s phone captured was a video. This one was fucking terrible too. It was of me, sitting at a table probably with Eridan and Sollux, and it appeared that Dave was talking over the mic. My dumb ass kept saying “yeah.” and “that’s right.” after every few words that Dave said. Like I was some kind of jock’s lackey from a shitty movie.
“Please tell me it doesn’t get any fucking worse.”
“Oh no. It gets better.” Eridan chuckled, moving to hide his smile behind his teacup.
“Fuck you.” I flipped him off and waited for the next snap to show up.
This one had a timestamp of 11:14 pm and it was a video, presumably of me again. It was really just the stage, and … oh no. Fuck. No. My drunk ass climbed up on the fucking stage and crawled under the DJ booth. Someone kill me now.
The next one was a video of the same scene but I was standing up now on the other side of the table next to Dave. It was hard to see but there were also some security guards walking towards us. The caption read “Fuckin busted. He’s gonna get kicked outt.” with a crying laughing emoji.
“Don’t tell me there’s more.”
“Well there is, but nothin more about you. An you probably won’t wanna see the rest of the story anyway.” Eridan quickly took his phone back.
“Ew. You fucking didn’t … did you?”
“Didn’t what?” He feigned.
“You didn’t record the shit that you and Sollux did last night on fucking snapchat did you? You’d scar everyone on your friends list for the rest of their goddamn lives.”
“No …. Well not exactly. It’s not explicit or anythin if that’s what you mean.”
“Whatever, I don’t actually want to know the details or see it.”
“Ok ….. So any questions or should I tell you how you wound up at Dave’s?” He asked, fingertips thrumming against the table in a very fucking annoying way.
“Yeah. Why the fuck did you record all of that?”
“Well, when Sol noticed you were all sorts a fucked up he told me to record it because it’d be funny. An it was. But also helpful for you in the end, so there’s a plus.” Damn asshole at least had the decency to look guilty about it.
“Next question. Why didn’t Roxy cut me off? I was way too wasted.”
“So was she.” And that answered that.
“Why didn’t someone fucking stop me from getting up on stage?”
“You said you were gonna go to the bathroom an next thing we knew you were crawlin on the stage. Not like we knew you were gonna do that or anythin.” He shrugged.
“Ok, so what happened after that?”
“Dave left the booth an brought ya back down to the crowd. You waved at us an he brought ya over. He mentioned something about getting you home since even he could tell you were wasted. You musta misheard him because you handed me your keys an told me to ‘have fun with Sol’ an that the apartment was ours for the night.”
“What the actual fuck was I on?”
“Shut up an let me finish the story.” He pinned me with a glare before clearing his throat to continue. “Anyway, then Dave just started laughing about the fact that you’d misheard him and offered to let you crash on his couch for the night. Sol may have said somethin along the lines of how you wouldn’t just be on the couch to which you flipped him off.” I chuckled at that, at least I was still me when drunk. “Then Dave took you backstage an as you two were walkin off he slipped an arm around you. But it coulda been because you were drunk an stumblin about. Then we didn’t see you for a couple hours. When we were leaving you were throwing up in the parking lot, luckily not on anythin or anyone. But it was still fuckin disgustin.”
“That is fucking unbelievable. But also probably why I’m so goddamn hungry right now.” I said, marveling at how I didn’t remember a damn thing. “Also Dave’s probably never going to talk to me again, so there’s that.” I said casually.
“What makes you so sure about that?”
“Were you not listening to your own goddamn story? I embarrassed the fuck out of myself. I almost got kicked out of the place and/or nearly arrested. I probably punched a guy out with my fuckall terrible dancing. I was all over the place. On top of that, I woke up in his bed next to him, and not on the couch. I was wearing his clothes too. Thank fuck that at least I wasn’t naked. But at this point I’m not sure which is worse because it means I was naked there at some point. And to top it off, I messaged him on my way out this morning, admitting to not have remembered a fucking thing from last night. I’m fucking boned. The asshole is never gonna speak to me again.”
“Ok, that does sound bad, but let’s not just assume that it’s over. If he did have sex with you then he might still totally be into you. From the sounds and looks of it he wasn’t even drinking last night. He probably remembers everything. You might be able to get details from him too.”
“Oh hell no. I’m not going to go begging for details like some little bitch girl who wants all the fucking gossip about her from her friends.” I shook my head.
“If you won’t then I will.”
“You don’t even have his number or have him on Hasslemate, how the fuck are you going to contact him from your phone?”
“Who said anythin about my phone?” He grinned and I panicked.
“No. No. Nope.” We both got up and sprinted to my room, trying to get to my dead phone first. Eridan won because he’d been sitting closer to the hallway. Also because I tripped over my chair and almost tripped over Mawkin on the way there. Technicalities though. “Congratulations idiot, you have acquired my dead phone. Explain to me how you intended to message anyone on it when it’s been dead for fucking hours.”
“I’m gonna fuckin charge it a course.” Eridan rolled his eyes at me and went to look for my phone charger.
“Just fucking hand it over, you don’t know where shit is in my room. You’re never gonna find my charger.” I left my hand out expectantly.
“On second thought, you’re right, ‘cause I’m kinda scared to go lookin through your drawers an find your dildo collection by accident.” He smirked.
“I don’t fucking have one you dickmonger. You’re thinking of your own room.”
“Why would I need that when I have a boyfriend?” He winked, walking out of my room and leaving my phone behind on the bed.
“Wow, you’re really gonna throw that in my face right now? At least the guy I like isn’t an absolute douche.”
“Sol is only a douche to people who are fuckin rude to him first.” Eridan called back from the living room.
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” I yelled back before pulling my phone charger out from under my bed and plugging my phone in. It would still be a while before the damn thing turned back on, so I decided to go back to the kitchen and put my empty bowl in the dishwasher.
“Wanna watch a movie?” Eridan asked, now perched on the couch with netflix pulled up on the tv. “You can choose.”
“It will never cease to amaze me how quickly you go from one thing to the next. But sure, I guess.” I grabbed a seat on the other end of the couch and snagged the remote from him. I immediately put on “Leap Year” because it’s a fucking great movie and no one can tell me otherwise. Eridan scoffed at my choice but I knew he’d like the movie anyway. He always did, despite claiming that he hated movies. Not any specific genre, just movies in general. What a fucking hipster, trying to be cool and different by not liking any movies. Everyone liked movies of some genre.
About halfway through the movie Eridan started texting more than he was looking at the screen, which was fucking rude. “Do you have to do that right now?” I asked him, clearly very irritated.
“It’s Sol. He’s on break.” Eridan shrugged, as if that were all the explanation I needed. It reminded me that Eridan had tried to steal my phone earlier though.
“Oh shit.” I paused the movie and ran to my room to check my phone.
When I hit the lock button to check the screen it read ‘5 new messages from TurntechGodhead’.
Fuck.