Chapter Text
Karkat P.O.V.
To be very fucking honest I have never, in my life, been to a football game. It was never something that interested me in high school and I didn’t go to college. So when Dave asked me if I wanted to go to a football game with him, my dumb ass brain went “that’s not a stereotypical first date trope, go for it” and I agreed.
As soon as we got there and tried to locate seats in the already overpacked stadium, I wasn’t so sure that this was a good idea anymore. I was never entirely comfortable with large crowds like this, especially with how fucking rude I could be at times. On top of that, it was fucking cold tonight. If I had to take a guess, it was probably around 45 degrees (Fahrenheit). Even with the hoodie I was snuggled into and a long sleeve shirt underneath, it was still pretty damn chilly. How in the hell Dave managed this with only a t-shirt and thin hoodie, I would never understand.
Eventually we found pretty decent seats, not quite the nosebleed section but still pretty high up and close enough to the middle. As soon as Dave plopped down on the bench next to me, I scooted in towards him, hoping to steal some of his body heat by being so close. It barely helped. Fuck my life.
“So. You wanna wait until after kickoff to get hot chocolate or is your shivering just for my amusement?” Dave asked, grinning some. I punched him lightly in the arm.
“You fucking asshole. There was hot chocolate and you made me walk all the way the fuck up here without it?” I grumbled.
“I figured you had seen the stands for it when we passed them by the entrance.” He shrugged, laughing more now.
“Well I fucking didn’t and there’s no way in hell I’m going all the way down and back up those fucking unforgiving stairs of death.” I grumbled, slipping one sleeve of my hoodie into the other in attempts to keep my hands warm.
“I guess you’ll just have to freeze then.” Dave stated in a dramatic voice. “Unless someone were to warm you up.”
“I wonder who the hell would do that?” I rolled my eyes at him and played along.
“Gosh. He’d have to be a real heroic guy to do something that nice. A true gift to this world. Worthy of all the praise that he’d obviously receive from performing such a sacrificial act.”
“Obviously.” I scoffed, mentally laughing at how arrogant he was being, even in jest.
“I wonder who that guy could be? Is there a chance that he’s even here tonight?” Dave then put a hand to his forehead and started scanning the crowd like he was genuinely looking for someone.
“Just shut the fuck up and cuddle me, you asshole.” I grumbled with a smile on my face.
“Me? You think I’m worthy enough to keep you warm.” He pointed at himself and looked around again, still very much in the ‘drama zone’.
“No. But you’re warm-blooded and you have a fucking pulse. So I’ll take it.”
Dave fucking scoffed.“Ouch. My ego is now fatally wounded. It’s just laying there, bleeding out. We should probably call 9-1-1 for this shit.”
“What a tragedy.” I said sarcastically.
“Seriously man. My confidence is shot and you’re the only one around here with a metaphorical gun in your hand.”
“Dave. Will you please shut up and just put your fucking arm around me already? Because if you don’t I might just use that metaphorical gun on myself so I don’t have to hear any more of this bullshit.” I sighed, ready to just facepalm when he inevitably decided to continue his schtick.
He surprised me though. “If it means saving your life, sure thing babe.” And then he grinned. He genuinely fucking grinned at me and slipped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I nuzzled my face into his chest because holy fucking shit my nose was numb from the cold. He pecked the top of my head and for once I was grateful for the blood that rushed to my face. At least if I was blushing then I was warm.
Dave P.O.V.
About half an hour later we were just getting to the end of the first quarter and Karkat was surprisingly into the game. We had started off making fun of all the guys screaming their lungs out, but after a while he started making comments about the game, which quickly turned into him yelling about it too. I wasn’t sure if he just wanted a reason to yell or if he actually knew what was going on. Either way it was pretty damn entertaining. Not to mention, every time he would cuss, this older lady in front of us would cover her kids ears and glare at us. I don’t think that Karkat really noticed it, but I certainly did and it was fucking hilarious. If you don’t want your kids to hear cussing then don’t bring them to a college football game. That’s just common sense right there.
It wasn’t surprising that Karkat still wanted hot chocolate, despite my best efforts at keeping him warm. So I jogged down the stairs and hopped in line for us. It was a pretty long line too. As I stood there, I pulled out my phone and started scrolling casually, not really paying attention until I heard a shrill voice behind me.
“Well if it isn’t the boyfriend stealer.” Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. No. Fuck no. Nope Fuck no. Shit. Damn. Fuck. What the fuck was Terezi doing here?
I did my best to ignore her, pretend I didn’t hear her, pretend I was someone else, anything to get her thinking she had the wrong person. Then I remembered the bitch was blind and I knew there was no pretending that she couldn’t smell me. I chanced a glance behind me and sure enough she was there, a few people in line separating us. I tensed up and decided to hop right the fuck out of line and see if there were any other booths up that also had hot chocolate.
I wandered past some tents before finally finding one at the far end that had literally no line and hot chocolate on their menu. When I tried a sip from my own cup, I realized why. It wasn’t exactly top quality, but for the cheap ass price and a line devoid of psycho bitches, it was excellent.
As I made my way back to Karkat, I managed to slip past Terezi without her picking up my scent again. I was glad for that because it meant she wouldn’t follow me and badger me about whatever shit she was still holding onto. I was also absolutely certain Karkat wouldn’t want to see her either. So that was one bullet dodged.
But of course, nothing in life was ever easy or fair, so as I was going up the stairs I nearly ran into a guy who was darting down them.
“Oops. Sorry.” He blurted, looking back at me as he passed before stopping his descent altogether. As soon as I saw those bucked teeth my anxiety fucking spiked through the roof. Why me? Why him? Why did he have to be here tonight of all fucking nights? “Oh shit. Dave? Is that you?” He asked cheerfully. Why did he have to seem so fucking pleased to see me?
I kept my mouth shut and just sort of stared like a deer in the headlights. “Dave. It’s me, John. Y’know. Egbert. Egderp. Whatever it was you used to call me. Anyway, how’ve you been?” He pressed.
“Sorry, I’d love to catch up but as you can see I’ve got my hands full, so I’ve really got to go.” I blurted out, almost too fast, before turning right around and basically jogging up the bleachers. When I chanced a look over my shoulder, John was just standing there watching me run away from him with a confused look on his face. Then he turned around and kept going down the bleachers.
When I finally made it back to Karkat I was out of breath as hell. Those stairs really were torture. Why did I have to pick a seat so high up?
“Are you fucking ok? You look like you just ran your first 5k.” Karkat asked, reaching out to take one of the styrofoam cups from my hand.
“Yeah. Totally fine.” I said in between my deep breaths, attempting to regain my composure.
“Why were you running up the stairs?” He asked before taking a sip of his cocoa. Just like that I felt like a deer in the headlights again. That was not a conversation I wanted to have right now. Not at all. That would be the absolute worst thing to talk about on our first date.
“Just getting some good ol’ exercise. Keeping myself warm so that I can keep you warm.” I grinned, mentally patting myself on the back for that quick cover up there.
“Mhm.” He looked at me for a long moment and I did my best to act like nothing was up. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a little …. jumpy.”
“Dude, you’re crazy. Everything is totally fine.” I finally reclaimed my seat next to him, now that I had my lungs under control.
“Look me in the eye without your shades and tell me that.” Karkat turned to face me on the bleacher bench now. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to drop the topic.
“And be blinded by the bright ass stadium lights? Are you trying to torture me?”
“We can go sit somewhere else that’s less brightly lit if you fucking want. I just want the goddamn assurance that everything is o-fucking-k, because you’re being really weird.”
“But these are like the perfect seats.” I protested, giving our great view another glance over. The only problem was that I saw John heading up the bleachers once more and he seemed to be looking around for someone. I hoped to high fuck that it wasn’t me. “On second thought, maybe we aren’t high enough up. You’re right. We should move.”
“Aren’t high enough? Are you fucking kidding me? We should be moving down if anything. Especially with how fucking winded you got just coming back up those stairs. Dave. Dave fucking Strider are you even listening to me?” He rambled. And trust me, I was listening. I heard every word of what he was saying, but my mind was much more focused on an escape plan. I didn’t want to run into John again and I was trying to find every possible route that would let me abscond without being spotted. Our best option was to run up the bleachers, walk across an empty row, and then jog back down the set of stairs on the other side.
“Yeah. Sorry. Just scouting out some better seats. I think I see some over there. C’mon.” And just like that I got up and practically jogged up the stairs again. Karkat followed behind at his own leisure pace, not like I expected any different from him. He wasn’t exactly in any hurry to avoid anyone.
I led him up, across, and back down and he fucking stopped and facepalmed halfway down the steps. “Why didn’t we just fucking scoot past the few people sitting next to us? That was so fucking unnecessary to go around like that.”
“Didn’t wanna bug anyone.” I muttered, continuing down the steps, trying to urge him to do the same. He did but at a much slower pace.
“Seriously? That’s not like you at all. What the fuck is up with you right now?”
“Just trying to be a good samaritan while in public. Don’t wanna block anybody’s view of the game.” God this was all such bullshit. I was well aware of the fact that I was acting like a child and yet I couldn’t really stop myself from continuing to do it.
“Wow, what a saint.” When I looked back at him, Karkat rolled his eyes at me and I could tell it was sarcasm. I glanced around and saw John sitting down with some other kids, presumably friends or classmates. At least he wasn’t up and looking for me.
“Here seems good.” I gestured a bench that had just enough space on the end for two people to sit comfortably. I asked the guy who’d be next to us if it was cool that we sat there and he shrugged. So that was that. New seats. Tada.
Karkat P.O.V.
An hour and at least five seat changes later we were nearing the last quarter of the game and I was ready to fucking snap. This was getting ridiculous. I’d pretty much figured out that Dave was avoiding someone, but who or why I had no fucking clue. My best guess was that he’d managed to piss someone off and was trying not to get his ass kicked.
At the present moment we were seated by the entrance/exit/food tent area in maybe the fifth row back on the very edge of the bleachers. The kind of seat where if I turned to my left I could just jump down to the grass and walk off instead of having to take any stairs down and around. We sat here for a good fifteen minutes before Dave leaned over and asked me to scoot to my left. I just fucking glared at him.
“You do fucking realize that if I do that I’ll fall on my ass, right? Why can’t we just get up and walk down the stairs and around the side like normal fucking people?” I asked, glancing back and forth between Dave and the jump.
“What kind of fun would that be?” He asked, trying and failing to make it seem like he was doing this just for the fun of it. He glanced around again and then started to really panic. “Shit. Do me a solid here babe, can you just jump down without making it obvious that we’re getting up?” He was whispering to me now, apparently this was some big fucking secret. I just huffed under my breath and hopped off as requested. Then as soon as we were both on the ground I dragged him under the bleachers by the sleeve of his jacket.
“Ok. Cut the bullshit. You’re going to tell me right the fuck now why we keep moving seats and why you’re being so fucking weird. I’m not playing this game of musical chairs anymore Dave.”
“As much as I would love to tell you, I’d rather not get on that topic today.”
“Well if you’re worried about fucking up our first date, you’re not exactly on a good path right now anyway.” I shot back.
“Shit. You’re right. I’ve basically already fucked it all up. Damn it. This was supposed to be our first official date, not the ‘avoid-your-ex olympics’.” He sighed and I straight up laughed right in his face. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was laughing at him but it was pretty damn funny to me.
“Wait. So you’ve been doing all this to avoid an ex? Dave you could’ve just told me that from the fucking start. You goddamn loveable idiot.”
“In my defense, I’d like to point out that it’s not just my ex.” He was pouting, but I stopped laughing when I registered what he was trying to say.
“You don’t know any of my - wait.” It was in that moment that I remembered I’d drunkenly told Dave about Terezi. Fuck. “Holy shit. Are they here together?”
“I doubt it after the shit that went down.” He mumbled.
“Shit that went down? Do you know something that I don’t here?” Obviously he must have known something. The real question was what exactly that something was.
“Probably, but I’d prefer to keep it that way and not have the ‘ex-history’ discussion tonight. That’s like the first rule of first dates is to not talk about your exes.” As cute as that was, it didn’t make a single bit of sense to me.
“Fuck the rules. I’m curious, tell me.”
He sighed, “Look, I know I’ve already fucked this date up but I would really prefer not to fuck it up even more by digging into that particular topic.” He seemed still very on edge and he kept looking over my shoulder towards the crowd to make sure no one had found us yet.
“Who says that it would fuck it up? The imaginary dating rules? We basically threw those out the motherfucking window the moment we decided not to have a stereotypical date. Go ahead and tell me. I’m not going to think any differently of you for it. It’s not like you fucking killed anyone, right?”
“Absolutely not. Nothing like that.” He snapped his head to face me now, seeing just how serious I was about this.
“Ok then spill the beans, Strider.” We stared each other down for a solid minute before he gave in.
“Can I just give you the gist of it now and tell you full details later? It’s really fucking stupid and I don’t want to waste time on it that I could be spending salvaging this fucking awful date.”
“Deal. Now start talking.” I grabbed him by the shoulders and turned us around so that his back was to the crowd. I didn’t want him super distracted while talking to me.
“Fine. Ok. Alright. So you already know that Terezi is here and that is basically fucking awful. On top of her being your ex, she’s also slashed my tires before because I may or may not have kissed her boyfriend without knowing he was her boyfriend. He’s here too.”
“Holy fucking shit.” That was all I could think to say because damn that was tame compared to what Terezi would normally do but it was still damn crazy.
“Yeah and even though this shit happened over a year and a half ago I still try to avoid both of them at all costs. But they both had to fucking be here tonight, of course. So that’s why I’ve been moving our seats and shit.” As soon as he finished talking I noticed a certain blind bitch making her way past the front side of the bleachers, sniffing for something. I knew that could only mean she’d been on our trail.
I looked wide eyed at Dave who caught on right away and nodded. I grabbed his hand and we ran through the backside of the bleachers until we were immersed in the dark. I grabbed my phone with my free hand and flicked open the flashlight so that we could see the ground without tripping over anything. We kept running, being as careful as two people can be while holding hands and running, until eventually we came to a dead end. Or not really a dead end, but the other side of the bleachers. The problem was that it didn’t exactly open like the side we’d came from. There was a crack of light from the stadium lights coming in between the seats and the solid cement wall that was trapping us under the bleachers. Shit.
I silently hoped that she wouldn’t be dumb enough to follow us all the way back here, but I knew that because she was blind she probably wouldn’t have the common sense to avoid it either.
“What the fuck do we do? We’re totally cornered.” I whisper shouted.
“Well it’s not like she’s going to see us per se, right?”
“Yeah, what’s your point? She’d smell us here and then it’s game over.” I started to turn in circles, flicking my phone flashlight off since it was useless now.
“How’s her hearing?”
“She’s blind you douche, it’s obviously fucking phenomenal.” I deadpanned.
“What if we made noises that would deter her from coming any closer.” It was in that moment that I realized Dave had officially lost his fucking mind.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Are there any noises that she hates? Anything you can remember to get rid of her?” Dave asked, clearly making this my fucking issue. I wasn’t the one who’d been avoiding her all night.
“I guess we could just make it sound really fucking awkward so she wouldn’t want to come any closer. Like pretend we’re doing the fucking do behind the bleachers so she leaves us the fuck alone.” I could not believe the words that just came out of my mouth. This was the dumbest fucking plan I could have possibly come up with. Then again the was the most fucking stupid situation I’d ever been in too.
“You mean like fake moaning and shit? Dude we’re so going to get kicked the fuck out of here if security hears us.” Dave seemed a little panicked but I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t exactly want to get kicked out either.
“It doesn’t have to be super loud. Just loud enough and convincing enough that her fucking bat-sight echolocation or whatever catches it and makes her leave.”
“Loud enough is no problem, but convincing enough ….. I don’t know.”
“You’re fucking kidding me right? You can’t do convincing fake moans?”
“Not for lack of trying, but every time I get caught and people see right through it. I never claimed to be a great actor, ok?”
“Goddamnit Dave.” My face was starting to flush just from talking about this.
“We could make it sound like I’m blowing you if that’d be better. Since my mouth would be occupied.”
“I-” And that was it. My face was now at maximum redness. Damn him for giving me that visual. “No. Just no. Fuck faking it. Come right the fuck here, you idiot.” He looked like he was about to speak up again but I didn’t give him the fucking chance to. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulled him into a bruising kiss, and then pinned him to the damn wall.
Once he seemed to get past the initial shock of being pinned to the wall he started kissing back. I tried to not be so forceful since I wasn’t actually planning on taking this all the way. But at the very least I could get him worked up enough to make this whole stupid plan actually convincing and have him making some small noises.
So I started kissing him more gently, scraping my teeth across his bottom lip and then swiping my tongue over it to soothe it. He gasped and finally wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I chuckled against his lips and he smiled back. Then he pulled away for a second and I moved to kissing along his jaw.
“Damn babe. And only on the first date?” He teased.
“Oh would you just shut the fuck up and kiss me like you fucking mean it?”
“Yes sir, can do.” He grinned before leaning back in and recapturing my lips. I put more of my weight against him, pressing his back further into the wall. This time he swiped his tongue past my lips and I just melted right there in his arms, parting my lips for him. I hummed softly, the noise caught between our mouths as our tongues met for the first time.
Sparing the dirty details, we continued to make out for a solid minute or so before Dave pulled back for breath again. I just kept kissing him though, moving down to his neck, my hands roaming a little to drag over his chest and then back up under his sweater.
“Karkat.” He whispered.
“Hm?” I hummed back, not bothering to stop leaving little bites across his neck.
“Just how far are we gonna take this?” I could hear the soft groan in his voice and it definitely sparked something in me, something that I had been trying very hard to repress.
“Far enough to make her leave us the fuck alone, I guess. Why? Did you want to stop?” I asked, being completely serious despite knowing that he probably didn’t if the look on his face was anything to go by.
“No, god no. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable with any of this.” He seemed so genuinely concerned that my heart fucking melted right there. Dave actually, genuinely cares about me and my comfort and my well being. Holy shit.
I buried my head into his shoulder and held him a little tighter. “Thanks, but I wouldn’t have started it if I wasn’t sure. I’m the one who came up with this idea, remember?”
“Yeah-” Dave stopped mid-response. “I think she’s coming. Or someone is at least.” He whispered, looking over my shoulder and towards the darkness.
“Then come here and kiss me some more so they’ll leave us the fuck alone.” I responded with an eye roll. To be honest, I was kind of enjoying this more than I’d been enjoying the football game. Public affection and sneaking around were two things that I was really coming to have a liking for.
“Dave?” The voice called out. It wasn’t Terezi though. It sounded like a guy maybe.
“Fuck, no time for kissing. Do you trust me?” Dave spat out. I didn’t have much time to think about what his plan was so I just nodded and let him do as he pleased. “Ok awesome, play it up for me, will ya?” That should have thrown me off, but I just kept nodding like the fucking idiot that I am.
Dave turned us around so that he had me pinned to the wall now. I looked up at him for a brief second but quickly lost sight of him as he dropped to his fucking knees in front of me. This was not fucking happening. Ohmygod.
“Dave? Is that you?” The voice asked again, clearly getting closer. It was sort of hard to hear it over the roar of the crowd above us in the bleachers but it was still audible.
I looked down at Dave and mouthed ‘Are you fucking crazy?’ to which he mouthed back ‘trust me’. How the fuck I got myself into these situations I’d never know. I tilted my head back and pressed it against the wall behind me, trying not to blush too hard. But what can you do when your boyfriend is vis a vis with your dick underneath the bleachers at a football game?
He gripped my hips and I jumped a little, color rushing to my face all over again. I took a deep breath and he smiled up at me, moving closer and pressing a kiss to my zipper. I did what any normal person would do and fucking whimpered because shit this was hot and damn I’d been deprived of anything like it for so fucking long. Dave’s eyes lit up at that and he did it again, trying to get me to make more noise, clearly.
Dave brought a hand to my zipper and palmed me and I swear I could have gotten a concussion from how fast my head flew back to the wall again and smacked against it. I brought a hand up to my mouth to cover my expression because damn that was embarrassing.
“Damn babe.” I heard him mutter from below me and I fucking whined again.
“Fuck you.” I was trying to sound intimidating but honestly, it just came out weak and needy.
“If you insist.” He purred, starting to move his head in a way that mimed blowing me. That’s when I caught on to what he was doing. I mentally slapped myself for not realizing that sooner but prepared myself for playing along.
“Fuuuck.” I purred out, letting a hand drop to his hair and helping him with his miming, making sure he got close to me but not close enough to actually press against me again. I continued to let out soft fake moans, pitching them now and again so that it was more realistic.
“Dave?” The voice called out again, much much closer now. I looked ahead into the darkness and could just barely make out a figure standing there. “Oh. Oh shit. My bad. Sorry guys.” And with that, the figure turned tail and got the hell out of there.
Dave continued to mime for a moment, just to make sure whoever it was was gone, before letting up and busting up laughing. “Holy shit dude.” The laughter was infectious and I couldn’t help myself.
“Who the fuck was that though? Was that your ex?” I asked.
“Yeah, but goddamn was that hilarious. Long story short, his name is John. I dated him when he was convinced that he was bisexual, but he never wanted anything to do with ‘guy parts’. So finding me sucking another guys dick was probably the wake up call he needed to leave me alone.” Dave stood up and started brushing his jeans off where they’d gotten dirty from kneeling.
“You mean he hasn’t been leaving you alone?”
“I had to move, change my fucking number, and make Jake swear to secrecy, since they’re cousins.”
“Fuck, Dave. That dude really had it bad for you.”
“You have no idea. I’ll tell you the rest of the story sometime if you want.”
“Why don’t we walk home and you can tell me on the way?” I suggested.
“Sure. But first, do you need a cold shower or are you good walking that far?” He smirked at me and I flipped him off.
“I wasn’t that into it. I told you I can fake moans pretty fucking well.” I defended.
“Mhm. Tell that to your semi, babe.”
“Will you shut the fuck up?” I groaned, pulling the hood of my sweater up and tugging the strings to hide my red face.