Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Feel my hands, they’re shaking.”

The first time Nico Di Angelo held Will’s Solace’s hands was the worst possible moment. Nico had just come back from what was possibly the worst road trip in the history of road trips and instead of passing out for the next few days like his body was begging him to do he was trying to prevent the camp from being attacked by the Roman Legion. Or, he was before Will Solace decided to be the stupidest person alive.

What was he thinking, going on a scouting mission while preparing for war? There must have been a million things in the infirmary that needed to be done in preparation for said war, and surely Will wasn’t so stupid to not realize that if their best medic dies before the real battle begins they are incredibly, without a doubt, screwed.

Nevertheless, Will was there in his stupid all black outfit (which Nico was adding to his ever growing list of reasons Why Will Solace Is An Idiot) and he was holding his hands out to Nico of all people. The only person that had even wanted to touch Nico in years was Hazel, his sister, much less someone who was practically a stranger.

Whether out of shock or lack of sleep Nico brought his hands up to Will’s, covering his hands with his own.

Will’s hands were warm, very clearly healer’s hands and had smudges of black on the tips, likely from applying the strips of paint found underneath his eyes. Nico felt a pulse of warmth emanate from his hands, unsure if it was a Will thing or a Child Of Apollo thing. Nico felt skeletal butterflies flutter in his stomach. Gods, Will was right, his hands were shaking intensely, another thing that screamed at Nico that Will should definitely not be here.

Even if Will was totally useless, and it could be argued that Will made that whole mission needlessly complicated, Nico couldn't help but think that he was glad that Will was there.

—————

The next time Nico held Will Solace’s hands they were blood stained.

It was a little while after Nico’s stay in the infirmary (which considering that he slept for about half of his stay it wasn’t as bad as Nico initially thought it would be.) and after a lot of convincing from Solace that yes, he did want to be his friend Nico had found himself hanging around the pseudo hospital.

Things were finally returning back to normal, or what Nico assumed to be normal for Camp Half-Blood, he had never stuck around long enough to find out.

Something that came along with Camp returning back to normal was Capture The Flag. Nico had decided to opt out of this game because contrary to what some people believed Nico did in fact know his limits and shadow-traveling halfway across the world isn’t something you recover from quickly.

Nico had spent most of his day in his cabin (Capture The Flag wasn’t really a spectator sport) planning out what he wanted for the eventual renovation of his lodging, because there was absolutely no way in Hades the coffin beds could stay.

And no, Nico was definitely not waiting for the game to end so that he could talk to Will Solace, definitely not. So what if Nico was bored without the healer in his presence? After spending most of his free time with him for the last few weeks it's almost to be expected that he would notice the son of Apollo’s absence. And it was definitely, definitely not because of Nico’s recently developed feelings for the healer. Nope, not at all.

Okay, maybe Nico was lying, but could you blame him? Yes, Will was pushy, and yes, Nico still thought Will was an idiot ,but he was also so fundamentally kind in a way that made Nico’s chest feel like it was about to burst. He liked talking to Nico, and more importantly he didn’t mind listening to Nico either. Not to mention how incredibly thoughtful Will was, always considering others before himself, and always making sure to spend time with Nico even when he was incredibly busy.

Speaking of busy, Will always had a lot to do after a game of Capture the flag. Even though campers weren't allowed to maim each other that didn’t stop the slew of injuries that came with each “friendly” encounter. With how swamped Will usually was after games Nico figured that he could use the extra help, even if it was just cutting bandages. Definitely not because he wanted to see Will. With that, Nico started to head towards the infirmary.

Nico could immediately feel that the air in the infirmary was different. It felt stiff and cold, a far cry from how warm and lively the infirmary usually was.

It didn’t use to be that way. From what Will had told Nico when he inherited the infirmary, it was much like a regular hospital; sterile and impersonal. That wasn’t really Will’s style. With how many accident prone kids there were at camp, children were bound to have to stay in the infirmary at some point, and being injured is already an uncomfortable experience. The least that Will could do is try to make his patients feel more at home. With that the infirmary was filled with colorful posters, books lent from the Athena cabin, soft music playing, and plenty of (safe) activities for patients to do while they're healing.

The warm homey feeling that Will tried so hard to evoke was completely dispelled. It didn’t take a genius to realize that something was wrong. Nico scanned to infirmary, noting that there weren't too many injured campers before noticing that Will was nowhere to be seen.

Uh oh. If Will wasn’t in the infirmary when he thought that people needed him there had to be something seriously wrong. Nico searched for the nearest Apollo camper, Kayla, to ask about her brother’s whereabouts.

“Hey Kayla, do you know where Will is?”Nico asked.

She looked somber. “Will? Uh, I don’t know, he said he needed five minutes and left the infirmary.” Kayla responded.

“Oh. Okay. Thank you.” Nico replied.

“I know you're looking for him but be careful, okay? He’s had a rough day.” She warned Nico.

“Okay, I will. Thank you, Kayla.”Nico thanked her one last time.

Nico now more than ever felt the need to find Will. He didn’t know the extent of it but seemed like Will was having a terrible day and could use some moral support. Nico wouldn’t necessarily classify himself as a comforting presence, but Will has always been there for him when he was in need and the least that Nico could do was offer that same support back.

In the end Nico didn’t have to go very far to find Will. He was sitting curled up behind the infirmary, his hands stained with red, looking as if he wasn’t really aware of his surroundings.

“Will?” Nico said, snapping Will out of whatever trance he was in.

“Nico? What are you doing here?” Will wondered still with a despondent look in his eye.
“The better question is what you're doing here, Sunshine. I came to find you at the infirmary and you weren't there.” Nico stated.

“Oh.” Will whispered. “It was just a bit much, that’s all.” He said, his usual enthusiasm gone from his voice.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Nico said, unsure of himself. ‘But if you want to, you can talk about it with me. This friendship is a two way street you know?”

“Thanks, Nico.”Will smiled half heartedly before taking a deep breath, as if to steady himself.

“A patient died today.”

Nico felt his blood run cold. “Oh.”

“Yeah”, Will’s voice had begun to get all watery. It sounded like he was about to cry, but Nico didn’t see any tears fall.

“She- She was alone, her buddy was gone and she went too deep into the forest and there was a monster and–”, He paused, “ you can fill in the rest.”

Nico wished he didn’t have to. Gods, this was terrible.

“She was rushed to the infirmary, and she was fighting for it, fighting for her life, but in the end I couldn’t save her.” Will’s voice warbles, cracking on the word her. His hands were shaking.

“No.” Nico said assuredly. “ You did your best.” Nico continued.

“But my best wasn’t good enough!” Will exclaims, the pain in his voice evident. “If I had gotten there faster, or- or if I was a better healer she could still be alive!”

Without thinking, Nico puts his hands over Will’s stained red hands. Will looked shocked for a moment but said nothing, waiting for Nico’s next move.

“Will, you and I both know that some deaths can’t be prevented, '' Nico finally says, squeezing Will’s hand. “I’m sorry you’ve been living with this burden,Will. People’s lives shouldn’t have to be on your shoulders.”Nico said earnestly.

Will looks at Nico with big eyes, as if seeing something he hadn’t considered before, and breaks.

Next thing Nico knew he had his arms full of Will Solace, who was crying gently into his shoulder. Nico remembered what Bianca would do when he was upset, and started to trace circles into Will’s back, a soothing motion. The two of them just sat there for a while, Nico holding Will as he crumbled.

“Sorry for ruining your shirt.”Will sniffled after he had started to calm down.

“You’d do the same for me.” Nico stated matter of factly.

Will didn’t seem to know how to respond to that. He finally drew away, and Nico followed his eyes to where Nico’s hand was laying atop his red one.

“Hey, why don’t we get you cleaned up?” Nico suggested.

“I still have to go back to the infirmary” Will sighed, visibly dismayed.

“No you don’t.”

“But-”

“But nothing, I’ll talk to your siblings, I’m sure they can handle one day without you.”

“Okay.” Will said, giving in. It was a true testament to how terrible Will felt that he wasn’t arguing with Nico on this. For as long as Nico had known Will it was always hard to get him out of the infirmary to take a break.

“C’mon Sunshine, you can stay in my cabin tonight. We can even watch those movies you’re always talking about, Galaxy Wars right?”

Will sighs, but it's more playful than before. “ You mean Star Wars Deathboy?” Will corrects.

“Galaxy Wars, Star Wars, whatever, they're basically the same thing.” Nico responds, smirking slightly, happy that Will was feeling better. “C’mon, let's go.” Nico says, standing up, offering a hand to Will. Will takes it, interlocking their fingers and doesn’t let go until they reach the front steps of Cabin 13.

—————

Nico thinks he might be dying. That’s the only possible conclusion he could make. There’s nothing else that could explain the way his heart rate has shot up, or the fluttering in his stomach, or how he’s sweating more than he ever thought was possible or— the list goes on and on.

He’s probably not dying though. I mean, he would feel it right? At the very least Will would be able to feel it, what with his Vitakinesis and the fact that he was holding Nico’s hand. Holy schist, Will Solace is holding Nico’s hand. Nico thinks that he might combust.

It's not like they've never held hands before; Will’s never been afraid of physical touch. However they’ve never held hands when it meant something to both of them.

Will was terrible at hiding his feelings for Nico. It was a pretty well known fact of Camp Half Blood, the lake was blue, don’t mess with Clarisse ,Will Solace had a thing for the weird Hades kid. No one dared to say anything about it, for fear of not getting healed the next time they get injured. Despite Will’s obvious feelings he never made a move; He knew that Nico had a lot of things to work through and thought that it was understandable for him to not want a relationship. Nico however, did want a relationship, more specifically a relationship with Will.After weeks of pining Nico eventually confessed and they spent the rest of the night talking and swapping stories until the sun came up.

Will’s hands were much softer than his, and certainly not as calloused, but there were tiny scars from when Will got heat blisters from over-using his healing powers. Nico had not neglected to tell Will what a hypocrite he was when Will told Nico what they were. Will’s hands were also a bit clammy, light energy pulsing from underneath his fingertips,(Nico had found out that this was, in fact, an Apollo thing.) and if Nico was honest it was a tad too warm, but he didn't mind. Will's arm could be on fire and Nico would still hold his hand.

Even though Nico was the one to initiate their relationship, he still had his worries. Coming from the 1930s it was still hard for him to imagine that the world could be accepting of people like them. There was also the nagging feeling in the back of Nico’s head that this was all too good to be true. Good things didn’t usually happen to Nico, and when they did, they didn’t stay for very long. Nico hoped that that wouldn’t be the case with Will.

Nico still held that fear, and he wasn’t sure what the future had in store, but as Nico felt Will squeeze his hand he had the unusual thought that everything might turn out alright, or at the very least he’ll be able to get through it with Will by his side.

——————

“Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.”

Nico never thought that he would get to this point. After all that he had been through in his teen years it felt impossible to imagine that he would survive to the next year, much less 25. But against all odds he did, and now he was getting married to the love of his life.

Some may say that ten years is an awfully long time to wait to marry someone. Part of the reason of why it took so long was that gay marriage wasn’t legalized for the majority of their relationship, and Will had always dreamed of having his wedding on his grandparents farm in Texas, and Nico was never one to deny him.

The other reason is that they have been through a lot. Things haven’t always been perfect for them. Tartarus had put a great strain on their relationship, one that couldn’t be fixed with a snap of the fingers. It took a lot of work. And they put in that work because they loved each other. It was hard to imagine a world where they weren’t in each other's orbit, and neither of them wanted to. They continued that work through growing pains, through figuring out how to be adults, and through Will’s Med School Mental Breakdown. Don’t get Nico mistaken, just because their relationship took work didn’t mean it was a chore; Nico did it because he wanted to, because it was absolutely worth it to wake up to Will Solace (soon to be Di Angelo-Solace) every morning.

Will took Nico’s hand in his and delicately slid a wedding ring onto his finger. The band itself was fairly simple, a plain, dark, onyx ring, but on the inside it had the words Death Boy engraved to match with Will’s Sunshine on his own ring, an inside joke that never died out.

It still felt so surreal to Nico, like at any second he was going to wake up and realize that this was all a dream. Will squeezed his hand and beamed at him, confirming to Nico that this was indeed happening.

“ With the power invested in me I now pronounce you husbands, You may kiss the groom.” The Officiant said.

Nico and Will didn’t need to be told twice.

So there, with all of their loved ones, the Di Angelo- Solace’s have their first kiss as a married couple, hands intertwined. Nico didn’t reminisce about the past or wonder about the future, he was just there in the present, holding his husband’s, (His husband’s!!!) hand.