Chapter Text
“Are you departing for Liyue Harbor?”
The man, visually appearing to be a sailor, turns around to Scaramouche and looks him up and down. “Aye, we are.”
“Splendid. How much does it cost me to come on board?”
“That depends on who you are. We can’t grant some random criminal passageway to another country. D’you know how much trouble we’d get ourselves in?” The sailor crosses his arms in front of his chest.
Scaramouche narrows his eyes at him. “I’ll find another way onto this ship if I must. And I don’t think you’d like to let it come to this.” He can’t be bothered to deal with social politeness today. Just let him get on this stupid ship.
“What did you say?” The air around them turns suddenly cooler when the man builds himself up, trying to intimidate the other person.
However, the Wanderer simply watches him unaffected. There’s barely anything worse than lonely insects acting like they have any value to superior beings like himself. He braces his body to dash forward in order to knock the man out with a single strike. But a hand suddenly appears on his shoulder and harshly pulls him back.
“Ah, forgive him, please! He has had a pretty bad day and just needs to eat and sleep a little. He’s with me!”
Scaramouche shoots his head around to see who just dared to not only move him around but also talk over him as if he was a rowdy child. “And who do you think you are? Who entitled you to speak for me?”
However, his next words get caught in his throat when he recognizes the familiar face. “Kazuha?”
The samurai smiles at him for a second before diverting his attention back to the sailor who wrinkles his nose in displeasure. “You shouldn’t let him run off too far, Kaedehara Kazuha. Next time I won’t be this nice.”
Kazuha nods. “Thank you. I promise he won’t bother you anymore.” He politely lowers his head before grabbing Saramouche’s arm and pulling him away from the bulky sailor.
Only when they’re at the end of the wooden port does Kazuha retreat his fingers and scan his face. “What are you doing here in Ritou?”
Scaramouche brushes over the fabric that Kazuha touched as if to get rid of any lingering leftovers of his presence. “Obviously trying to board a ship.”
“And obviously failing. Why would you speak to the most intimidating person on the entire port?”
“Why not? No one’s intimidating to me.”
Kazuha closes his eyes for a second. He’s desperately trying to suppress it but at the end a chuckle escapes his lips.
The other stares at him unfazed. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, nothing.” The samurai catches himself again and smiles at him warmly. “I just missed your self-confidence.”
The sentiment causes Scaramouche to grimace in disgust. “Missed me?”
“Missed you”, Kazuha affirms. “Did you not miss me?”
It’s been half a year since they had parted ways in Liyue after their clarifying conversation. Scaramouche had not heard any stories about the other during his time in Inazuma - a curse and a blessing simultaneously. Had he thought of Kazuha frequently? Not at first. For two months Scaramouche was fully content by himself, just gaining information on the situation of his creator. But after some time he had found himself wondering what it would be like to hear a set of steps along his own. Or how the wind would feel like if it was shielded by another person.
“Most definitely not.” Scaramouche crosses his arms and diverts his eyes to a person walking past them.
“If you say so.” Kazuha continues to smile and observe his face. “Why do you want to go back to Liyue?”
“I need to travel to Sumeru.”
“Sumeru? What caught your interest there?”
Scaramouche carefully looks back at him, debating on whether to answer or ignore.
The thoughtfulness behind it makes Kazuha laugh before he turns away and nods in the direction of a large ship waiting in the water a few feet away from them. “This is the Alcor. She’s the flagship of the Crux. And we’re about to depart for Liyue Harbor.”
Naturally, Scaramouche’s ears perk up while he sets his legs into motion to follow the other. “Are you offering to smuggle me on board?”
A shy grin spreads across Kazuha’s face as he stops in front of the plank connecting the ship and the port. “I wouldn’t need to smuggle. I could just openly ask Beidou. She will most definitely allow it.”
Scaramouche eyes him suspiciously. “Why would you offer me your help? What do you demand in return?”
“Nothing. I offer it because I missed you.” The wind grows softer when he says it, gently brushing along Scaramouche’s skin.
“Stop saying that.” He looks away and grits his teeth.
Kazuha opens his mouth to give a response but is cut off by the sound of loud footsteps approaching them confidently. They both turn their heads towards the source of the noise and find themselves face to face with a muscular tall woman with long and shiny brown hair that gently falls across her shoulders.
“Kazuha! There you are! Didn’t even realize you’d ran off until it was too late!” She laughs and claps him on the back.
“You needed me for something? I apologize. My attention was diverted by a friend needing assistance.” Kazuha gestures towards the person standing next to him.
At that, the woman leans forward to catch a glimpse of him. “Hello, stranger! Sorry I didn’t see you back there. Your attire fully merged with the sea! Quite impressive! What a beautiful set of clothes!” Another laugh ripples through her chest.
Scaramouche contorts his face. What an irritating person.
“This is Scaramouche. Scaramouche, this is Beidou - the captain of the Crux.”
The puppet remembers her from the tales Kazuha had told back in the days of their shared travels. So this is the woman who Kazuha spends most of his time with. Scaramouche eyes her from head to toe.
In the meantime, the woman smiles. “So this is the infamous Scaramouche. Finally we meet."
The Wanderer looks at her offered hand but doesn’t take it.
“I see, you’re just like Kazuha described you. What brings you here?” Beidou doesn’t seem offended but rather looks intrigued.
“I need a ship to take me to Liyue Harbor”, he explains simply.
Beidou scans his face with her unpatched eye. “And let me take a wild guess. Kazuha offered you the Alcor as a ride?”
“Precisely.” He wants this conversation to be over as fast as possible and therefore doesn’t bother with long explanations.
The captain continues to observe him. Why does it take her so long to make a simple decision? He thought the qualifications of becoming a captain include being witty and quickly decisive in risky situations. It’s a miracle the Crux isn’t lying at the bottom of the sea with a captain as slow as her.
“Hmm.” She takes another moment to look back at Kazuha before setting foot on the plank, one hand on her hip, the other fixing her eyepatch. “We have a strict storytelling-policy. Every new traveler needs to share the best story they’ve ever experienced. Rack your brain about what to tell us later.” Then she disappears on board.
Kazuha looks at his companion, a satisfied expression on his face. “You should tell them about your path to godhood.”
Scaramouche returns the look. “Yeah, most definitely. I’ll just tell them about my deepest trauma the first time we meet.”
______________
The Crux members are extraordinarily energetic to a point that threatens to drain Scaramouche’s own life battery. He does not stay with them longer than five minutes. Instead he finds himself a quiet spot at the ship’s bow and gazes at the sea.
It’s not surprising that Kazuha finds and joins him there in mere minutes. His arm softly brushes Scaramouche’s as he sits down and props one leg up to find a more comfortable position on the hard floor.
For quite a while the only sound comes from the waves crashing against the Alcor’s planks. Then Kazuha breaks the comfortable silence.
“I’d love to hear about your past months in Inazuma.”
Scaramouche stays silent even though he can’t stop a warm feeling from spreading through his chest. It’s been a while since he had felt it last.
“Did you meet Ei?”
The puppet looks over to him, only to find Kazuha already watching him intently. His cool facade crumbles slightly when their eyes meet in the moonlit darkness.
"I did." He needs to avert his eyes under the pressure of his weird feelings. "It took a while but eventually I met her."
Kazuha listens attentively, his eyes still fixed on Scaramouche.
"It was a really strange situation. When I stood in front of her she immediately recognized me. She wasn't even surprised by my sudden appearance - not the slightest bit. I wondered whether she had waited for me, but why would she? Had she been looking forward to getting rid of me completely?
"We just stared at each other for a moment. And even though I knew that the Shogun and her basically have the same appearance, Beelzebub seemed completely different to me. It's like seeing twins after having known them for years already. Even though they look similar, you can easily distinguish them. The feeling was really strange."
Scaramouche takes his hat off and leans back onto his elbows to have a clearer view of the sky.
"When I was in a coma right after my fall out of the robotic suit I had a dream. There was a woman sitting next to me on a picnic blanket, reaching out and talking to me." He closes his eyes to play the scene back in his mind. "The feeling I had in this dream was the same that I had when Beelzebub spoke to me."
"A good feeling?" Kazuha lies down on his back next to him, also directing his eyes towards the bright stars.
Scaramouche hesitates before contorting his face. If only he could still lie to him. "I suppose." He quickly wipes this specific part of the story away. "Anyway, she asked me if I was well. She seriously tried to make casual conversation with me as if she hadn't thrown me away before I could even gain proper consciousness."
He shakes his head in disbelief, reliving the moment in his head. "Naturally, I told her off and then did exactly what I came there to do. I took out the feather and threw it at her face."
Kazuha turns on his side, propping up his cheek with one hand. "How did she react?"
The other man chuckles. "Unfortunately, she dodged and the ornament flew to the ground behind her. But her expression when she looked at me after this was satisfying as well. She was so shocked. Like I was a child throwing their first tantrum. It made me laugh.
"Then she asked me what I thought I was doing coming to her residence and throwing things at her. It was a comical situation." Even now, the memory brings an amused smile to his lips.
Kazuha looks down to Scaramouche's chest where a golden feather ornament is clipped to his clothes. "How come that you still own it?"
"Oh, we fought - not physically but verbally. And after she told me some shit about the reason for abandoning me wasn't to get rid of me but instead to give me a chance at a normal life, I decided I don't want to give her the satisfaction of cutting our connection. She wants to be unattached to me? Fine, I'll sew my miserable life into the seam of her clothes so that she never forgets about the repulsiveness of her own character. I'll be the stain on her existence. And I'll make her hate herself every single day of her miserable future."
Scaramouche nods smugly and lies fully down as well, one hand underneath his head, the other on his stomach.
"After that I left her behind dumbfounded and traveled a bit more. I haven't been to Tsurumi Island in a while, so that's where I ended up. After another month or so I decided to go back to Sumeru City and therefore departed for Ritou."
Kazuha thoughtfully looks down at Scaramouche's hand. "Are you happy with how your meeting with Ei turned out?"
"I would've preferred it to be more violent and end in her feeling horrible and guilty but it was acceptable. Laughing in her face was immensely satisfying."
"I can imagine." The samurai smiles. "I'm really glad you mostly achieved what you wanted. But why are you traveling to Sumeru now?"
Scaramouche presses his lips together, not wanting to answer. Meanwhile, Kazuha reaches out and lets his hand fly right above Scaramouche's. Then he makes a grabbing motion as if asking for something to be given to him. The puppet frowns, not knowing what he wants. After a few more grabbing gestures Scaramouche confusedly lays his own hand on Kazuha's opened one. The samurai smiles happily and intertwines their fingers.
When he puts them both on Scaramouche's stomach, the Wanderer's plan to stay quiet crumbles to dust.
"I want to visit Buer."
For a moment Kazuha's eyes widen slightly, but then he smiles fondly again. "That's amazing. Does she know you're on your way?"
"No."
"Then this will be a great surprise."
Scaramouche hums in response and gazes back to the sky. The air around him is pleasantly warm, the fingers between his own even warmer.
Kazuha squeezes his hand.
The Wanderer looks over to him.
"Would you mind some company while traveling?"
The stupid feeling in his chest flutters up again. "Only if you don't make me eat fish."
______________
The shouts of merchants advertising their goods are as loud and annoying as always in Liyue Harbor.
"I'd like to buy a new pouch here. Do you mind waiting for me by the city gate? I shouldn't take too long." Kazuha stops in front of the stairs leading up to the blacksmith's forging station and turns around to look at his companion.
The Wanderer frowns. "Aren't you hungry?"
"Hungry?" Kazuha blinks at him. Then as he realizes Scaramouche has thought about his mortal needs, his gaze and voice soften. "I suppose, slightly, yes. But it's fine. I will survive a few hours. We should depart as soon as possible."
"Why? Do you have anything else planned?"
"Not at all. Liyue is just not my favorite place to be. It's so loud."
Scaramouche couldn't agree more, yet he stays silent and doesn't let his face show any of his thoughts. The samurai already knows way too much about him.
Kazuha clears his throat before looking down the street towards the plaza. "Okay, then we meet at the city entrance in an hour."
As he takes his first step away, Scaramouche raises his voice. "Is there a reason why you need to go by yourself?"
Surprised, Kazuha turns back. "Do you want to accompany me?"
"Definitely not. I was just wondering whether you were involved in shady business I am not allowed to know of."
A tender smile appears on Kazuha's lips. "I am not. I just thought you wouldn't want to come with me anyway. So why should I suggest it?" He continues to stare at Scaramouche. "Or might I have been wrong?"
"I just told you I don't want to accompany you. I'll be waiting at the gates. Goodbye." Scaramouche corrects the position of his hat and walks a step or two.
"I'd be very delighted if you joined me", Kazuha quickly says before catching up to him. "Nothing would make me happier."
Scaramouche scoffs. "Fine. But only because you won't stop whining otherwise."
That is how they end up walking along the merchant stalls together, shoulder to shoulder but not actually touching. Kazuha finds a bag that meets his requirements and tastes pretty fast but they continue to check out other presented goods.
After a while Kazuha stops in front of a merchant selling fabric and ribbons. His eyes glide over the countless colors, seemingly searching for something. When he doesn't find it he drops his shoulders in disappointment and leans back in order to continue walking.
However, Scaramouche holds him back. "What were you looking for?"
"Just new hair ties. But they don't sell my usual preferred items."
"What's wrong with the ones they sell?" The accessories look perfectly fine to Scaramouche's eyes. These are just hair ties after all, nothing too special.
Unexpectedly, Kazuha's face turns a few shades redder while he avoids looking at Scaramouche. "They're just not the ones I prefer to use."
"But these are mere hair ties. What's the difference? To me they look the same as the ones you like." Scaramouche senses that there is a deeper story behind this and he won't rest until he tortured it out of the other man.
Kazuha on the other side goes as far as to step away from the temporary store in order to not have to reply.
Oh, Scaramouche is intrigued.
He doesn't hesitate to catch up and block the man's way. "Why are you avoiding the topic so vehemently? Don't tell me you're embarrassed over your knowledge of hair ties. Don't you think your constant nature speeches are more embarrassing than this?"
Kazuha still has his head lowered as if he's not able to look Scaramouche in the eyes. "I just don't want those. Why are you so fixed on this? I bought a new pouch, so let's depart for Sumeru."
The other man crosses his arms in front of his chest. "You can either tell me about the reason you just fled from this stall like a hunted boar now, or you can deal with me asking about it every few minutes every single day that we travel to Sumeru City. Bear in mind that you need sleep, whereas I do not."
"Why can't you accept other people's boundaries for once in your life?" Kazuha finally looks up.
The defensive attitude does nothing to Scaramouche. He ignores the comment. "You're getting all worked up over nothing. They're just hair accessories."
"The one getting worked up is you. I want to drop the topic desperately. So please just do exactly that."
"Or you simply tell me why you're so adamant about keeping this a secret." Slowly a small grin sneaks itself onto the puppet's lips.
At first, Kazuha glares at him angrily. But then he finally crumbles, sighs and avoids his eyes. "Did you like the ones they were selling?"
Scaramouche blinks. "Me? I don't use them."
"I know. But did you like them?"
"Not in particular. They're just hair ties."
"Exactly."
Scaramouche groans and rolls his eyes. "You're so overdramatic. Every time I think you may be a pleasant person to be around, you instantly remind me why I actually hate your guts. For someone who likes frank people the most, you're irritatingly evasive."
"There are enough aspects of life changing already, I'd rather hold on to the hair ties I've used since we've known each other." Kazuha sighs deeply. This is the first time Scaramouche sees him uncomfortable with a situation. It's thrilling.
The samurai continues. "You took one of them from me, do you remember that? When you left to meet Dottore in Sumeru you took the ribbon out of my hair."
When did this turn into an uncomfortable situation for Scaramouche himself? He averts his eyes to a spot behind Kazuha as he racks his brain over an excuse for such behavior. He didn't think Kazuha would bring this topic up.
To Scaramouche's relief, Kazuha neither wants an answer nor an explanation. He just keeps talking. "I don't know what the reason behind it was. Maybe you took the tie just to cut it and throw it away. But I woke up and knew you didn't fully lock me out of your life. It doesn't matter whether this feeling was justified or just the product of a misunderstanding, I'd like to and I will keep on to it. I will always fondly remember my feelings from back then."
Kazuha collects himself again, straightens his back and directs his eyes upon Scaramouche's face. "That is why I don't want to buy these hair ties. I hope you're satisfied enough to stop asking me about it."
Scaramouche pushes the uncomfortable feeling in his chest away while slightly moving his head to make his hat accessories produce a quiet sound.
He doesn't reply but instead breaches past Kazuha's shoulders and goes back to the merchant's stall.
"What are you doing?" The samurai hurries after him and grabs his arm, leaning closer so that the merchant doesn't hear them.
"Buying hair ties." Scaramouche calmly opens his wallet to check how much Mora he has left.
Kazuha blinks at him dumbfoundedly and because he takes too long to reply, Scaramouche turns to the merchant.
"I'll take one bag of these."
"Of course! Can I offer you these fabrics together with the ties? The colors are currently very popular! I can lower the costs if you decide to buy them both now!" The merchant rests his greedy eyes on Scaramouche's wallet which just makes the puppet grimace in disgust. Humans and their meaningless worldly desires.
"No. I'll just take the ties for their original price and ignore the disgusting smell all your other products give off." He collects the Mora and puts it on the table. He'll rather pass away right here on the spot than having to touch this disgusting man's repulsive gloves.
The merchant is smart enough to not start an argument with him and simply pushes the little bag of hair ties towards Scaramouche before taking the money.
With a displeased snort, the Wanderer grabs his newly purchased item and walks back over to Kazuha who had retreated when he started talking to the merchant.
"You really shouldn't have bought them", Kazuha insists.
Meanwhile, Scaramouche opens the bag, takes one of the ties and wraps it around his wrist. "Turn around."
Kazuha's eyes widen when he realizes what his companion plans to do. Nevertheless, he does as he is told, turns around and thereby grants Scaramouche the opportunity to pull out the old tie.
Kazuha's hair is incredibly soft underneath his touch as he glides his fingers through the strands, trying to get rid of smaller tangles.
The procedure of tying a new ponytail takes unnecessarily long but neither of them complains about it.
After Scaramouche has finished his work his hands still hover above Kazuha's shoulders. Yet, he doesn't dare to lay them down. His stomach weirdly tingles as the cold fist, which he hadn't seen in months, comes back and claws itself into his stomach.
He's so focused on locating and destroying it that he doesn't realize Kazuha has turned back around until there are two hands cupping his cheeks. The gesture immediately triggers the memory of what had happened months ago before their major fight. His eyes flick down to the other's lips - though definitely not because Scaramouche wants to kiss him. He just looks down because Kazuha starts speaking a few moments later.
"Where did you go?"
Confusion appears on the puppet's face. "When?"
"Just now. You were in your head. Where did you go?"
"Nowhere." His tone is an ounce too reserved to sound sincere.
Kazuha just smiles gently. "Okay then." He brushes both thumbs over Scaramouche's cheeks before letting go and leaving the latter's skin to feel cold and lonely.
However, he gently wraps all his fingers around the Wanderer's wrist and raises it up in order to press it to his own chest. Scaramouche could swear he can feel the other's heartbeat there.
"Don't take it off again."
It takes a moment for Scaramouche to understand that Kazuha means the old hair tie that is still draped around his arm.
"Promise to not take it off again", Kazuha repeats while unyieldingly staring into his eyes.
Scaramouche is most certain he couldn't even get rid of the tie if he wanted to.
"I promise."
______________
"How do you even hold this?" Scaramouche removes the leaf from his lips and stares at it angrily. "It just keeps flopping around."
His companion laughs and sits down in front of him. "You just hold it at both ends, gently. No! Don't be so rough!" He slaps Scaramouche's hands.
The puppet groans in frustration and throws the leaf to the ground. "Your leaf should be tortured, ripped to shreds and burned. This doesn't work. Give me a different one."
Another laugh bubbles out of Kazuha's throat before he leans over and examines the ground right underneath some thriving bushes. When he finds a suitable leaf he hands it to the other traveler.
Once again, Scaramouche gently places his fingers at both ends of the plant organ. "I'm as gentle as the morning wind on a sunny day."
Kazuha laughs again - a recurring sound today which never fails to make Scaramouche cringe at his own mouth because it curls into a small grin every single time it happens.
"Yes, you're doing it perfectly. Now bring it to your lips. Don't bite on it but slightly lay it against the lower one." The samurai intently watches Scaramouche's movements and leans closer to have a clearer view on the process.
Scaramouche does as he is told and makes a questioning sound when he is ready.
"Yes, perfect. Then lastly, you carefully blow some air between your lower lip with the leaf and your upper row of teeth." Kazuha imitates the mouth movements.
It takes every single ounce of self control in Scaramouche's body to not laugh at how ridiculous they both must look like.
After he has spent a moment composing himself, he tries to copy what Kazuha had shown and explained. However, he doesn't produce the intended sound but instead just blows some air out of his mouth.
Kazuha laughs again while Scaramouche drops his arms in frustration. "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just more of a fighter than a musician."
"You did so well. You just need a little bit more exercise."
"I didn't even make a single sound. That's not what I would call a need for just a little bit of training."
"No, you just need to get a feeling for the leaf." Kazuha takes the plant organ out of the other's hands and twists it around in his own fingers. Scaramouche's mind stutters when the samurai brings the leaf to his lips and plays a sweet melody.
"It's like learning how to speak. Everyone around you does it but you need to listen closely enough to be able to imitate their words. With this you need to be open enough to understand what the plant tells you."
Scaramouche stares at him with an unimpressed expression. "I do no longer wish to learn how to play on a leaf."
His frustrated sigh mixes with the sound of Kazuha's laugh.
______________
A melodious tone fills the air.
Scaramouche huffs out a victorious "Hah!" while Kazuha claps.
"You did it!"
"Obviously I did it. Never underestimate gods." The Wanderer grins smugly, relishing in the feeling of success.
"I believed in you from the beginning." There's a fond smile on Kazuha's lips as he keeps watching his opposite's face.
The expression makes Scaramouche's stomach curl - partly because it's disgusting, partly because it triggers a warm feeling in himself.
It's also said feeling that causes him to put the leaf in Kazuha's lap and demand, "Play something for me."
The other wanderer needs a moment to process the implication that Scaramouche seems to not hate his leaf playing as much as he leads him to think. But when the blue-haired man raises one eyebrow Kazuha carefully nods, straightens his back and starts producing the desired sound.
Scaramouche listens without moving a muscle for a bit. Then his eyes fall upon Kazuha's knee right in front of his own crossed legs. There is dirt covering the red fabric of his stockings.
Once seen, Scaramouche can't ignore the nasty uncleanness anymore. Thus, he reaches out and brushes it off.
Kazuha's tune stutters before he quickly catches himself again and continues the melody. Nevertheless, Scaramouche catches his observing side-eye.
"You can't even keep your clothes in check", the puppet scoffs, brushing over the knee once again even though there is nothing filthy on it left.
If Kazuha notices the nonnecessity behind it he doesn't mention it. Instead he tries to suppress a smile and finishes playing the song.
In the meantime, Scaramouche keeps watch so that no more dirt finds its way onto Kazuha's knee.
______________
"Let's pass underneath the mountain instead of walking around it. There should be a path that leads into a cave here." Kazuha points in the corresponding direction.
Qingxu Pool should be on the other side of this mountain. From there they can easily pass through the Chasm and should be inside Sumeru's borders in just two days.
He nods and follows Kazuha along the sandy pathway.
Entering the cave, they encounter a Fatui Agent examining a little underground pond. He hears the two wanderers enter and raises his head alarmed.
"Who are you?"
"Just two travelers passing through." Kazuha's voice is peaceful, yet partly threatening. He dares the agent to attack them.
The stranger eyes them, spinning a few blades around in his hands. "I'm afraid I can't let you pass."
Scaramouche raises an eyebrow, takes an intimidating step towards him and laughs while opening his arms in a smug gesture. "I see how it is! The pebble talks. How amusing!"
The Fatuus jumps into a fighting position and lets his blades circle around his body. Scaramouche on the other hand doesn't even bother to feel for the power within himself yet. Instead he narrows his eyes threateningly and lets his arms drop.
"Don't you know who you're talking to?" His voice is ice-cold, dripping with murderous intent.
The agent hesitates.
"I suppose mortals don't know what their gods look like. But surely you must have heard of one of my more popular names." Now Scaramouche lets his powers seeth underneath his skin. It's been a while since he had the chance to use them last.
When Scaramouche takes another heavy step towards him, the agent's hand twitches. "The Balladeer." His voice is satisfyingly intimidated, the sound of it brings a vicious smile to Scaramouche's face.
Oh, how he has missed this.
Immediately, the Fatuus summons all his blades back onto his belt and retreats. "I apologize deeply for not having recognized you earlier. I shall take my leave." Without further ado, the stranger turns and disappears.
Scaramouche sighs happily. "The perks of having an awful reputation."
When he turns around Kazuha looks at him with a reserved expression on his face. "There was no need for such hostility."
Scaramouche scoffs and crosses his arms again. "He prepared to attack us. There was every need for such hostility. You should thank me for not having started a fight immediately. You're the one always preaching you'd rather talk things out." He signs towards the other's blade on his hip. "This sword you wield is not meant to slay, but to save", he adds in a mocking tone.
Kazuha imitates his pose, also crossing his arms. "This could've gone more smoothly."
"This could've also ended in bloodshed. Stop whining." The Balladeer doesn't budge an inch. This will end in another staring battle.
However, Kazuha loosens up after a few moments and takes a look around the cave. When his eyes fall on the surface of the pond he stops and gestures for his companion to draw closer. "Look at this."
Scaramouche walks up to him and examines the water - the water that is frozen over. There must've been some cryo slimes around just mere moments before the two of them entered the cave. Did the Fatuus kill them?
"I have an amazing idea." Kazuha grabs Scaramouche's hand and carefully steps down onto the ice.
"What are you doing? It's going to break!"
"It won't. Come here."
"It's been only about an hour since our last break. Do you seriously want to stop here again?"
Kazuha doesn't reply and forcefully pulls at his hand. Thereby, Scaramouche has no other choice but to follow him onto the fragile surface. The material cracks underneath his weight but doesn't give in.
Kazuha smiles widely when his feet slide across the ice and lets go of Scaramouche's hand in order to move around more freely.
The other man doesn't like the situation at all and tries to slowly walk back to the very corner of the pond. "I really don't want to fall in."
"No, stay here! You won't fall in. I'll pay attention to it." Kazuha quickly hurries over, the ice cracking even louder than before. It surely can't be long until it breaks.
"Kazuha, I thought your hearing was extraordinarily good. Can you not hear the ice crying, yelling and screaming underneath us? It will definitely break! Now let me go!"
The samurai has grabbed one of Scaramouche's arms and keeps holding him back. "You're just a scaredy-cat."
That hits its target. Scaramouche immediately turns to him. "What did you call me?"
Kazuha smiles happily. "A scaredy-cat."
Surely, a vein in Scaramouche's head pops. "Don't call me that. I'm not scared. I just don't want to get soaked when I can avoid it."
"Scaredy-cat." Kazuha intertwines their fingers and moves backwards, dragging Scaramouche with him towards the middle of the sea.
"Don't go to the middle! Kazuha, I'll murder you if I have to."
The other just grins even wider and slides a circle around Scaramouche. "Have you ever been to Dragonspine?"
"Yes. And the ice there is definitely thicker than this."
Kazuha stops sliding in front of him, not letting go of his hand. "We should go to Dragonspine next. I haven't had the pleasure to travel there yet."
Scaramouche's chest turns warm again when he fixes his eyes on Kazuha's gentle face. "You want to continue to travel together?"
The air around them suddenly loses its carefree aura. Kazuha's smile glides off his face, all seriousness returns.
They both stay silent for a moment.
Then Kazuha brushes his finger over Scaramouche's hand. "I'd really love to. But if you need more time away from me I will also understand. And I can wait however long it may take. Dragonspine will also still be there in a few years."
The sincerity in his eyes makes Scaramouche's mind stutter. Or is this not sincerity but rather manipulative triumph? How likely is it that Kazuha repeats his mistake of making up a false picture of Scaramouche?
The puppet scans the other's face inch by inch until the bird outside stops crying. Then he has made his decision.
"I heard there's another Weinlesefest in Mondstadt in three weeks." Scaramouche puts the tiniest smile on his lips.
Kazuha returns it before leaning forward and resting his forehead on the other's shoulder. The chuckle leaving his lips gets caught in Scaramouche's clothes. "I really can't hold my alcohol."
The puppet's free hand hovers above Kazuha's side but he doesn't dare to actually touch him.
"I will have lots of fun laughing at you then."
If Kazuha is meant to crush Scaramouche's heart again, then so be it. He'll deal with the consequences when they arrive.
______________
"This was the worst idea I've ever had." Scaramouche needs to halt his movements and give his muscles a little break. When he looks down to Kazuha climbing a few feet underneath him, the other man also contorts his face in exhaustion.
"I wholeheartedly agree. Why didn't we choose to just sit in front of the Sanctuary? Why the top of the Divine Tree?"
Scaramouche looks back up towards the tree crown and searches for a branch they can rest on. "I thought it'd be a nice sightseeing trip. Who would've thought the tree is this divine. This takes more effort than fighting against the gnosis destroying my body."
Kazuha's laugh resounds through the air. "I'm glad you can make jokes about this now. But please concentrate on moving your butt out of my way and keep climbing."
Naturally, Scaramouche kicks in the direction of Kazuha's face (though he makes sure to not actually hit his target).
It takes them an embarrassingly long amount of time to finally reach the top of the tree and find a strong branch to hold them both as they sit down next to each other. Their backs rest against the trunk and Kazuha lets one leg dangle off the side of the branch.
"We should've brought water. I'm dehydrating." Kazuha leans his head back and closes his eyes.
"If you die here I'll just push your body over and let you fall to the ground."
"My falling corpse could kill someone just walking through town! You can't do that."
Scaramouche tries to see what is below them but there are too many leaves in his way of view. "You would probably end up falling onto another branch and just rot there."
"What if I infest the Divine Tree and it withers away?"
"I doubt you have the power to do that."
Kazuha looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Don't underestimate the strength of my dead rotting corpse."
An amused chuckle escapes the puppet's lips which, in return, drives a big smile on Kazuha's face.
"There's only one way to find out." Scaramouche suddenly jolts his head towards the man beside him and nudges his side as if he wants to push him off the branch.
Kazuha loses his balance, gasps in sudden fear and claws his fingers into the first thing he can find - Scaramouche's arm.
"You-" The samurai shakily stabilizes himself again and glares at the other wanderer angrily, not loosening his grip that will definitely leave fingernail marks on Scaramouche's skin.
The Wanderer laughs mischievously before grabbing Kazuha's wrist and pulling at it to sign for the other to come closer - thereby leading him farther away from the dark abyss lurking beneath them.
Only when Kazuha's entire side is pressed against his, does Scaramouche let go of the wrist. Meanwhile, Kazuha removes one of his hands but keeps the fingers of the other one securely hooked around Scaramouche's lower arm.
"I actually thought I was going to die. Never do this again." Kazuha sighs deeply and tries to calm down his frantic heartbeat.
This somehow stings in Scaramouche's chest. He frowns at the feeling. "I didn't try to actually push you off."
"I nearly fell anyway." Kazuha looks at him and softens his eyes. "But no worries. I'm not mad. Not the first time you've tried to kill me."
This only makes the pain in Scaramouche's chest worse. "No. I paid attention to not push too hard. And if you had actually been about to fall I would've caught you." Only after the words left his mouth, does he realize what he just said and freezes.
Kazuha blinks.
Then a fond smile colors his lips and he redirects his fingers downwards to squeeze the puppet's hand. "How very sweet of you."
Nevermind, the negative feeling dissipates and disgust spreads through Scaramouche's chest. "Never call me that again."
Kazuha chuckles and pulls their intertwined hands onto his own lap before directing his eyes towards the leaves above them.
It's peacefully silent for a long while. They both retreat into their own minds and listen to the sounds of nature around them. Scaramouche imagines it hard for Kazuha to not share his thoughts about this out loud.
A surprisingly great part of him is disappointed that Kazuha doesn't speak and gush about the beauty of nature right now. The realization of this causes another foreign feeling to appear in his chest. What is all this?
He side-eyes Kazuha. Does he feel the same things going around inside of him? Does he know what this is? How does he push it away?
Suddenly, Kazuha turns around as well, probably feeling the gaze on his face. There is a questioning look in his eyes but he still doesn't speak.
Scaramouche frowns deeper. His chest feels like it could explode any second now. Did the side effects of the gnosis' power return?
No, the feeling is fundamentally different. Even though both sensations made and make his chest burn, the gnosis forced him to cough and hate his body while this feeling evokes relief - relief about Scaramouche being mortal enough to experience it.
The tortured expression on his face must have alarmed Kazuha because he gently takes hold of Scaramouche's jaw and tilts his head towards him. "Are you okay? What's going on?"
Scaramouche blinks the thoughts away and returns his look. "Nothing."
"There's clearly something. You look like you're in pain." Kazuha retreats his hand.
"I'm not." He wants to leave it at that but the warmth Kazuha's body radiates urges him to explain what's going on. "There is just something I'm trying to figure out."
The maple wearing man hums and opens up Scaramouche's hand in order to smoothly trace the palm with his own fingers. "What exactly?"
Goosebumps erupt on Scaramouche's body while he automatically opens his hand farther, drinking up every last drop of touch.
"I can't explain it." He leans the back of his head against the trunk.
Kazuha draws a sun on his palm. "Is it related to your feelings?"
The puppet nods slightly, not sure whether Kazuha can even see it.
Apparently he can. "Feelings are really hard to figure out. Especially if you spent centuries trying to get rid of them", the samurai teases and laughs.
"I'm going to seriously push you off the tree this time."
Another chuckle from Kazuha before he goes back to writing something on the other man's palm. "But seriously, feelings are exceedingly difficult to work through, even if you've done it all your life. Additionally, you're the only person who is able to figure them out. Others may help you by listening and sharing their own experiences but in the end no one understands you perfectly. That is the cost of having a heart."
Scaramouche frowns and looks at Kazuha's profile. "A heart…" Does he really have one now? A sudden thought crosses his mind and he isn't fast enough to keep his mouth from voicing it.
"How did you know you're in love with me?"
Kazuha immediately freezes, his finger halfway done with writing his own name.
He opens his mouth, closes it again and ends up staying silent. Then after a few heartbeats, "That's what you were thinking about?"
"You're evading the question."
He sighs quietly and returns to his writing activity. This time he paints Scaramouche's name. "That's probably the feeling which is the most impossible to explain… Hm, I'm not particularly proud of the moment I realized I'm actually in love with you. It was when you finally woke up from your coma after your battle against the Traveler." He swallows visibly and draws two crossed swords.
"This whole time my worry was like a bottomless pit. You wouldn't wake up and if you did you'd just drift back to unconsciousness after only mere moments. Nahida wouldn't let me see you anymore after a few visits but I stayed in front of your room the whole time. When I got the idea to use your hat to wake you up Nahida finally allowed me to go in and put my plan into practice.
"At this time, I couldn't think about my own feelings. For days and weeks all I cared about was for you to wake up again. But when you actually did gain consciousness my perspective suddenly changed. I became aware of my tired body and exhausted mind. Then you started crying."
Scaramouche grimaces. He had hoped they'd never speak about the incident ever again.
"I feel awful about it but at the very moment that your first tear dropped I realized what this feeling inside of me was. And I am so utterly sorry, Scara." When Kazuha raises his head and looks at him Scaramouche's eyes widen. There are tears dwelling on the samurai’s waterline.
"I feel so guilty about it. You experienced one of the most awful moments of your life and I made it about myself. I'm so sorry."
Scaramouche is overwhelmed, clueless about how to act when a tear spills over Kazuha's cheek before he turns away. His fingers itch to do something but Scaramouche doesn't know what. This is a completely new situation for him.
Kazuha takes a deep breath, calms himself and continues. "I just realized how deeply I cared for you all this time. I realized that it broke my heart to see you shattered like this more than it broke my heart when you left me to follow Dottore. At the moment you actually broke down I wished for nothing more than for me to be able to transfer all your pain onto me. It shall kill me if it wants, as long as it means that you don't have to deal with it."
At that, Scaramouche is left speechless. His mind is swirling but all its content is too blurry for him to catch.
Kazuha wipes the tears off his face. "Sorry. This wasn't meant to become this depressing. Give me a minute to compose myself."
Once again, there is this prickle underneath Scaramouche's skin, urging him to do or say something. Though this time he just goes with whatever his impulses tell him.
He won't even bother trying words. Thus, Scaramouche grits his teeth, swallows his pride and grips Kazuha's face to turn it back towards himself. The samurai’s eyes are as big as two saucers when Scaramouche forcefully pulls his wet face against his chest. Then he wraps both arms around Kazuha's body with a brutality that might scare other people off. Gentleness is not a skill that he has fully mastered yet.
However, this is Kazuha beside him - the Kazuha that knows exactly how much effort it took for the puppet to actually go through with the rough gesture.
Thus, the white-haired man doesn't hesitate to return the hug and nestle his face into Scaramouche's collarbone. The warmth of his breath tingles the latter's skin under the half transparent shirt he is wearing.
Surprisingly, words form in his mind. "There's no need to feel guilty for this. You just told me feelings can't really be explained. They don't seem rational to me. So with this logic, how are your feelings your own fault? And then, if they're not your fault what guilt applies to you?"
Kazuha grips the back of Scaramouche's kimono but keeps focusing on calming his lungs.
"Can you suppress feelings?", Scaramouche wants to know next.
A gentle head shaking from Kazuha moves both of their bodies. "Some people believe you can but I'm not one of them. Even if you succeed in pushing them away they will eventually catch up to and overrun you."
Just like it happened with Scaramouche himself when the incident happened?
He frowns angrily.
"Then you couldn't have pushed the feelings away. I don't see any argument speaking for you having to feel awful about the realization of having fallen in- the realization of you know what." Somehow saying it out loud feels way more intimate now that Kazuha has his tear-smeared face on Scaramouche's shoulder.
There's a silence in which Kazuha seems to think about his words. Then he pushes himself away in order to meet his companion's eyes.
"I should cry more often. You're so reasonable and touchy."
Scaramouche rolls his eyes and removes his arms from the other's body. "This settles my last time of being reasonable and touchy."
Kazuha chuckles and wipes across his face once more, removing every last tear stain. "But seriously, thank you. That helped a lot. And I'm deeply sorry I made a situation that was supposed to evolve around your feelings about me again."
"I'm quite glad we don't talk about my feelings." The corners of Scaramouche's lips curl upwards slightly.
The other man watches the movement before returning to his original seating position with his back leaned against the tree trunk.
"What feelings are you trying to figure out?", Kazuha asks after a moment of silence, returning to the original topic.
The Wanderer sighs in displeasure. Yet, he actually replies this time. "The ones towards you."
Kazuha makes an approving sound and reaches for his hand again. "Do you want me to help you figure them out?"
Scaramouche cringes slightly. "Why would you say embarrassing shit like this?"
"It's not embarrassing. I just cried all over your clothes while confessing my feelings towards you for the possibly tenth time. How could you possibly make this even more embarrassing?"
The weight on Scaramouche's chest slightly lifts while he laughs about the comment. "Actually, you're right. There isn't anything I could do to overtrump your level of embarrassment."
Kazuha hits him in the chest but can't stop himself from chuckling as well.
The air around them stays comfortable and creates a bubble of security that makes Scaramouche actually open his mouth and talk about his feelings. What has he become?
"I don't know how to describe anything. I just know I have this immense pressure on my chest whenever you're around. It hurts like the gnosis did. But at the same time it's the complete opposite of the gnosis' pain. It doesn't make much sense which is why figuring it out is such a drag in the first place."
Kazuha shifts his body lower until he can comfortably lay his head on the other's shoulder. "Do you want it to go away?"
"Yes." Then Scaramouche's eyes fall upon the samurai’s hands. One of them is still gripping his own, the other forms a fist that is tightly pressed against his thigh. "But no." The Wanderer turns his head back up towards the tree crown and closes his eyes. He'd rather not want to see Kazuha's reaction to this. "I liked how it was before the feeling. But now that I've experienced it I'd hate to let it go."
The silence is loud - so loud that Scaramouche thinks of jumping over the edge of the branch.
Then there's shuffling as Kazuha pulls himself back up and looks at the other's closed eyes. "You don't need to find words for feelings in order for them to be valid. They can just exist without such shackles. You can express them in other ways as well."
Scaramouche chuckles and opens his eyes to return the look. There's a hopeful expression in Kazuha's eyes that only tingles another laugh out of Scaramouche's mouth.
"What's so funny about that? I'm being serious!" The expression disappears. In its stead shifts a look of overacted annoyance.
A grin stays on Scaramouche's face. "You just want to kiss me so badly."
Kazuha is speechless for a moment before narrowing his eyes. "And what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. You're just awfully obvious."
"Believe me when I say I lost every possibility of feeling embarrassed in front of you. So yes, I will shamelessly admit I just want to kiss you right now."
Scaramouche suppresses the grin and looks away again. "I see."
"Stop teasing me. Either reject the proposal or give me consent." Kazuha lets go of his hand.
Naturally, Scaramouche cringes at the two possibilities that lie in front of him now. "Why do you always have to ask me first? Do you know how embarrassing it is that you actually expect me to say oh, yes sure, please kiss me? You don't have to be surprised when I keep rejecting you in the future."
"In the future, you say?" During Scaramouche's little speech Kazuha has leaned closer and hovers right in front of his face now.
"Hmm, you shall forever be rejected by this divine god, lowly commoner." Scaramouche closes the distance between them and relishes in the warm feeling blooming in his chest where once the gnosis had sat - the spot that had been empty for centuries before.