Archive of Our Own ^beta

'...She witnessed this all with her own eyes and wept bitterly for the sorrow and suffering of the living. Her tears fell to the ground, dispelling the foul flames and giving birth to blossoms abounding with sweet dew from the one barren and scorched earth.'

Alhaitham's eyes swept across page to page, intrigued and yet bored all the same. It was an overtold story of a goddess and the loss of her people. It was the only book he had in the house, though, as he hadn't had the time to search for new ones during his resignation period from Acting Grand Sage. The book wasn't even his, of course. He'd never go out of his way to read an old tale, but his mind was aching for stimulus and his roommate just so happened to have left it on the table. How fortunate.

A creak from a door to his right made him falter in his reading and he nearly went to switch on the soundproofing in his hearing aids, but a glance up made him choose otherwise.

Kaveh looked… terrible.

His usually fluffy hair was even more unkempt, flying at odd angles and kinks. Ruby eyes were barely visible for the squinting he did at the living room lights. Kaveh plopped down on the couch next to Alhaitham, a good distance between them regardless. A groan sounded and the blond's head was in his hands.

It was painfully obvious what ailed him. "Migraine?" Alhaitham asked anyway, in a quiet voice.

"Mn," came the response. Eloquent.

Alhaitham got up to go to the stove and prepare tea, one brewed specially for this occasion– which happened far too often for either of their liking. "You need to stop this, Kaveh," he said, lowering the flame in the lamps to a dim shimmer.

There was a huff. "The deadline is in two hours, Haitham. I didn't have a choice."

The tea began to heat up and Alhaitham turned, leaning on the counter with his arms crossed. "You did, and you chose to drown yourself in coffee and wine to stay awake for hours on end. I thought you would've learned from the last time."

Kaveh rubbed at his temples. "I just can't quite get it. It's been nearly a month, you know. A month and there's still something missing."

"Hm. A splash of color perhaps?" All he'd seen were sketches upon sketches in black and white. Kaveh did tend to picture the colors in his head more often than not, and completely forget to add them to the final prints until the end stages.

"Don't try to lecture me in architecture," Kaveh argued, but it didn't hold the usual tone. He was tired, burnt out, and it almost hurt to see him without that spark. Alhaitham hadn't seen much of his senior during the initial construction of the Palace, so he often missed the brightness in red eyes and the smile on his face, but it was obvious he was proud thanks to the local talk. At least at first.

Ever since he moved in, sketch after sketch and ripped pages from notebooks fell into a neat pile in their shared office. They'd occasionally come to life through miniatures hammered together at three in the morning, but mostly stayed unfinished.

Kaveh had clients, of course. Some paid in mora, some in fine wine. Those projects were done with focus from the architect, hours spent defining each detail to his client's needs and wants. When it came to personal works, however, Kaveh frequently found himself at a standstill. Getting burnt out happened more often than not. Sometimes, like this, the burnout would carry into a commission. It was a vicious cycle any freelancer was doomed to.

Alhaitham knew his roommate had it in him. Somewhere. He had to.

"You'll figure it out," Alhaitham said, pouring the tea in a quite ugly cup Kaveh had picked out a long time ago. "Stress will only make your headache worse."

He sees Kaveh roll his eyes and immediately wince, regretting the action. He'd laugh if it didn't look so painful.

"Here." The cup was hot in his hands as he passed it to his roommate carefully. "Don't spill it on my couch."

"Our couch."

"I purchased it."

Kaveh took a sip and basked in it for a moment. After a breath, he said almost blissfully, "There is a firm print of my ass in this cushion. Our couch."

Alhaitham only sighed and sat beside him, opening the book again. He left his soundproofing off for now.

"I just don't get it," Kaveh mumbled in between sips. "All the past commissions barely let me have any free will with the designs! And now, I finally have artistic liberty but my mind is… blank! There's nothing up here, Haitham!"

"So nothing unusual then?" he said, without looking up.

There was a scoff. "Kick me while I'm down, why don't you. No help at all," he muttered into his tea. "Of course a book is more important than my livelihood."

"You barely pay me rent anyway."

"But I'm trying!" Kaveh raised his voice and sighed harshly. "I am."

Alhaitham had no retort and continued to read, knowing well enough it was true. Trying and doing were vastly different, however. To him, at least.

"...What are you even reading?"

He flipped the book closed for a moment to show the cover.

Kaveh's eyes went wide. "You? Reading a fairytale?"

"It's not a fairytale‐"

"It is!" laughed the architect, like this was more entertaining than any play at Zubayr. "I would know, it's my book!"

"It belongs to the House of Daena."

Kaveh waved a hand. "Semantics. Anyway, could you imagine flowers sprouting at your feet wherever you walked? The Goddess must've never needed perfume."

Alhaitham blinked. "That was your takeaway from the story? Seriously?"

"Yes," Kaveh said bluntly. "I think I'd like padisarahs and roses at my feet. And you? Don't pick something boring like a sweet flower."

This question was fruitless, but he'd entertain the thought. Perhaps for the boredness that still consumed him, or for the life coming back to his roommate as the morning went on. Who knew. "Qingxin."

That caused Kaveh to falter in whatever argument he had planned. "What? From Liyue?"

"You never said they had to be local."

"Well," Kaveh crossed his arms after setting his empty teacup on the table. "Whatever. I guess it works. Why qingxin, though? Surely you'd pick something like the Inazuman sakura flowers."

"And why would I do that?

"They're annoying."

What? "...Annoying."

"Mhm! I heard from a merchant that the way of procuring the petals is quite tedious and complicated. Like you."

Alhaitham turned back to his book. Like he said, fruitless.

"Hey!" Kaveh tugged at his shoulder. "You never answered the question. Why qingxin? 'Cause they're stuck up?"

He squinted. "Was that supposed to be a joke?"

Kaveh didn't respond and his eyes fell to the floor. He was surely spending too much time with a certain general.

Alhaitham sighed. "I picked them because they look nice. If I were to have flowers follow me wherever I went I'd prefer something simple and pleasing to view. I like them."

The architect was once again rendered speechless and his lashes fluttered in shock. "I… that isn't what I expected. Since when do you have an appreciation for beauty?"

A choice presented itself to him, and he decided rather quickly. His hand reached for a blond strand and pushed it behind Kaveh's ear gently. "Since I let the Light of Kshahrewar into my home."

Kaveh flushed from cheek to neck and leaned his forehead to Alhaitham's shoulder, embarrassed. "...You can't just win every argument like that."

"Hm," Alhaitham pondered and let Kaveh wedge his way into his side. "If it works I see no reason to stop doing it."

There was a soft groan muffled in his shirt. Kaveh's fingers traced a pattern on the scribe's torso, lost in thought. A few minutes passed like that, silence in each other's company. It was a rare sight, but had become more common since they stopped being stubborn and admitted there was something to be had between them. Something special and extremely unique.

Alhaitham didn't say it very much, but he appreciated these moments. There were often times in the past when he never thought their relationship would mend. He couldn't have been happier to be wrong. Even if Kaveh was a pain in the ass sometimes.

He knew he wasn't any better. And yet, Kaveh stayed, so Alhaitham did too. After all, a mirror with no reflection was no mirror at all. Simply fragile glass.

"Is your headache better?" Alhaitham asked gently, grazing the fingers on his stomach with his own.

Kaveh nodded against him. "I don't know what you put in those teas but they work wonders."

He smiled. "It's a secret. Go and clean up, you don't want to meet your customer with a rat's nest for a hairstyle."

"What?" Kaveh pulled back and touched his hair, eyes widening. "Oh, Archons."

Alhaitham huffed. "Indeed. Go, you don't have long."

The architect stood and stretched. "Join me?"

"I already showered this morning."

"You're no fun," Kaveh pouted. "It'd do you some good to lose all that," he waved his hand around, "...stress."

Alhaitham stared at him until he grew annoyed and stomped off to the bathroom. "Maybe later!" he said, and smiled at the excited, muffled noise that responded. Kaveh was like a puppy sometimes.

His book called to him and he answered. Page after page turned as he listened to the faint fall of water and a soft hum from his roommate. It was peaceful.

Of course, Kaveh had to ruin it.

A loud thump came from the bathroom, followed by the telltale sign of someone slipping in the tub. Kaveh made a noise loud enough that Alhaitham's initial annoyance grew to concern.

"Kaveh?" he asked, and after no response he got up and walked toward the hall. "Kaveh, what happened?"

The door opened quickly and a blast of steamy air followed a very bare architect, save for a towel around his waist, with a bright smile on his face. Too bright for someone who may have hit their head.

"I've got it!" he said, placing his hands on Alhaitham's shoulders to move him out of the hall.

"Got what?" Alhaitham asked, thoroughly confused and a bit flustered.

"Flowers!" Kaveh said with a gleeful hop. "My clients grew up in Mondstadt. If I add flowers or greenery from their old home I'm sure they'll love it! Oh, could you imagine a pathway with dried petals carved into the rock? It's perfect! I could even speak with Tighnari during the project and get his expertise on the matter, oh! Oh and-"

He went on and on, practically skipping to their bedroom as he muttered to himself excitedly. Alhaitham followed on sure feet and could feel his lips quirk up at the sight. He knew Kaveh would figure it out, he was never wrong.

Kaveh was soon dressed and gathering his tools and prints in his arms to make way to his meeting, exactly on time. There was a glow to him that shone throughout the entryway as he said goodbyes and kissed a blushing scribe when he handed over forgotten keys.

"Make sure to leave a good impression," Alhaitham said.

"Of course I will! The people love me!"

Well, he couldn't deny that.

By the time Kaveh was out of the door, Alhaitham felt a bit breathless, and he wasn't the one who talked for nearly thirty minutes. He stretched and peeked at a nearby clock. It was noon, a good time for a quick snack and perhaps going over a few papers from the Akademiya. And so, he got to it.

An hour passed and he was satisfied with what he had gotten done, though it wasn't as much as usual. His mind was drifting to the object of his desire and anguish. Kaveh was likely doing fine and his clients were sure to welcome the proposal with open arms. It was a beautiful house, from what he had seen. Alhaitham wondered why he was worrying in the first place– a nudge in his sternum was uneasy and annoying. Everything should be going well. It had only been a short time since Kaveh left, after all.

Which is exactly why the door opening was such a shock.

Alhaitham was at the couch with a direct line of sight to the entryway, and part of him wished he wasn't, for the view in front of him was almost enough for his jaw to slacken.

All the shine from the Light of Kshahrewar had been extinguished and what was left was harrowing. Kaveh had no ounce of the joy he left the house with as he stared blankly at the floor, unmoving.

"Kaveh?" he asked, standing and turning his soundproofing off.

The blond only shook his head and trembled from head to toe. "They hated it," he whispered.

"What?" Alhaitham was shocked. "They said that?"

Kaveh scoffed. "Didn't have to. Every inch of the design had something wrong with it that needed changing, apparently." He looked up with red rimmed eyes, and a sad noise escaped him in a mockery of a laugh. "They didn't even like the flowers."

Oh, his heart broke in his chest. Alhaitham had seen Kaveh sad, angry, you name it. But he had never seen him so… despaired.

Kaveh cried. Easily. At kittens born outside the tavern. One time at music heard in the bazaar. Even when Alhaitham confessed for the first time. But he rarely cried for his own woes. Twice, the scribe had seen it– once, when they had shouted and argued until a rift was torn between them. Once, when he found the architect curled up on a seat in the tavern in the dead of night.

That led to him moving in, eventually.

He was an emotional man who wore his heart on his sleeve and Alhaitham could practically see it tearing.

Part of him didn't know what to do. Sentiments were not his thing, not at all, and yet he was drawn into Kaveh's space and found himself pulling the blond close to his chest. His lover was shaking and at the first touch to his back, gentle and comforting, he let out a wrecked sob. It all came flooding out right into Alhaitham's shirt.

He didn't mind. He only held on tighter.

"I-I-" Kaveh stuttered through shallow gasps. "Haitham. Haitham-"

"Shh," he whispered back. He could feel the trembling under his fingertips, the grip on his back. He wanted to say it's alright, but he's not a liar. All he could say is, "You'll be alright," because he will be. He will.

Kaveh's knees seemed to buckle and the two of them sank to the floor together, like one object in a shared foundation. "I'm a failure," he said brokenly. "I can't-"

"No," Alhaitham said with no room for argument. "You're not. Kaveh." There was an attempt to get his lover's attention, and another, but to no avail. The architect was lost in a palace of darkness created by his own mind. Alhaitham could recognize the bobbing of his head, the tell-tale rip of fingers through hair. Kaveh was panicking right in his arms.

Alhaitham did what he knew to do and took his earphones off. The world went silent but he could still feel the vibrations of Kaveh's sobs. With gentleness rivaling the kiss of water on the sand, he placed them over Kaveh's ears, dampening the harshness of the world, of his thoughts.

It's so slow, maybe hours dragged on, but Kaveh's shaking subsided. His tears dried and left stains in their wake. He likely didn't even notice when sound was taken away from him, but when he gathered his bearings his hands found the earphones. "W-What.." Kaveh mumbled and finally looked up. "Why?"

Alhaitham stared at Kaveh's lips. His hands spelled out an explanation easily, 'Silence helps. Doesn't it?'

Ruby eyes watched diligently and eventually Kaveh managed a nod. He rubbed at his face, much too rough for Alhaitham's liking. "Yes… Yes, I- thank you," he said, and added a sign with his hands at the last words.

Alhaitham shook his head and caressed Kaveh's arm. He didn't like to be thanked for something he deemed as necessary, however small an action it may be. 'Relax,' he signed. 'We can talk about it when you've gathered yourself.'

Kaveh stayed quiet and leaned against the duvet, knees to his chest. During this time, Alhaitham slowly got up to get them both some water and brought it back almost immediately. The last thing he wanted was for Kaveh to spiral again by being alone.

The drink emptied at a constant pace in Kaveh's hands. He was clearly thirsty from all the crying he did. After a few minutes, Kaveh slipped off the headphones and handed them back to Alhaitham. His voice was gentle as his lover got used to sound again. "...I don't know what to do," he whispered, hollow and empty.

Alhaitham sighed and scooted next to him on the floor. "We'll figure it out," he said, grabbing Kaveh's hand.

"We?"

"Yes, we."

Kaveh scoffed a little. "How? You don't know half a thing about what I do." he asked, clearly speaking out of emotion. He was overwhelmed. Alhaitham knew that, and it was true anyway.

"No," he answered easily. "I don't. But I know you work at your worst. You barely eat, drink gallons of wine. Not to mention the sleep schedule. No one could make something perfect in that state."

"Anything else I'm doing wrong?" Kaveh asked indignantly.

"...I'm offering to help you."

"I don't need your help!" he said, looking at him with a furrow in his brow.

"And yet you still live in my home," Alhaitham said bluntly.

Kaveh didn't take that well. "Way to make me feel better by making me feel worse. Truly the qualities a grand sage should have!"

Alhaitham sighed and didn't even bother correcting the outdated title. "Kaveh. I'm not offering out of pity. I don't let you stay in my home, I want you here. Just as I don't need to help you, but I simply want to."

It was quiet for a beat. "...Why?" Kaveh whispered.

"Is it so hard to believe I care about you?" Alhaitham asked, looking right into his lover's eyes. "I may not say it that often, but you're the one who told me actions speak louder than words. I'm trying to act here. Allow me to."

Kaveh looked like he might cry again. He rested his head on Alhaitham's shoulder, staring off at the wall. "...Okay," he said softly.

Alhaitham's hand fell to the architect's shoulder to rub comforting circles there. "You have to learn that your creative value isn't determined by any one client. People have their tastes just as you have yours. Some day, someone will see your talent for what it is and truly appreciate the unique little things about your work. You can't please everyone, despite how much I know you want to."

There was no response except for a little nod and a squeeze on Alhaitham's thigh. "Thank you," he said again after a long moment.

"You don't-"

"Just let me thank you, asshole," Kaveh whispered against Alhaitham's neck.

The scribe huffed and pressed his lips to honey colored hair. "You're welcome. Things will work out, Kaveh."

"...Really?" Kaveh asked. It sounded hopeful and yet terrified.

Alhaitham tipped his lover's chin up with a finger and met his eyes. "Have I ever lied to you?"

Kaveh's lashes, wet with old tears, blinked against his cheeks. "No."

A sweet kiss graces the architect's forehead. "That's not changing anytime soon. I promise." He hugged Kaveh before taking a deep breath and sitting up a bit. "Dinner is soon. What do you want?"

Kaveh's lips pouted a little. "...Fatteh? Can I help?" I love you.

"I guess. Don't let me burn the peas this time." I love you too.