Chapter Text
Pepper sends Tony to Tokyo for a week. He talks to Steve a couple of times, though not as often as he’d like, since he has conferences in the day and businessmen to schmooze in the evening. Steve and the others manage to take out an infestation of giant mutant spiders, and get stuck doing clean up for the next few days. As a result, by the time the week is up, Tony misses New York and his family (he’s not afraid to admit that that is how he’s sees them now, so long as it stays in his own damn head), more than he thought he could. It’s weird to feel this way about other people, but it makes Tony feel warmer knowing there’s something at home waiting for him.
He flies back via the armour, landing on the pad on the roof, the armour quickly disassembling and being tucked away. He nips down to the workshop first to check on the bots. He’d asked Clint to keep an eye on them (he’d have asked Steve, but he was busy watching out for Barnes after all) and though he had been worried they would have picked up all kinds of terrible habits while he’s been gone, they roll up to him chirping happily like always. He greets them, petting Dummy, You and Butterfingers respectively.
Tony feels bone-tired and he thinks maybe he just needs a break. He wonders if he might be able to convince Steve that they should go for a weekend in Honolulu or something, just the two of them, since it hasn’t been that in a while. They’ve just been so busy. But now, Barnes is all settled in and he’s sure he could ask Rhodey to help the team out while they’re gone. Just the thought of sand, surf and Steve makes Tony feel all kinds of warm inside.
He walks up the stairs and into the kitchen, wanting nothing more that to just curl up in bed with Steve. He’s just walked through the door when he freezes. The room is dark but he can see the light from the TV flickering above the breakfast bar. The whole team is settled in front of it. He can make out Betty and Bruce on the closest couch, and Jane and Thor on the floor in front of them. Darcy is next to Betty, and Phil and Clint are on the middle couch with Natasha. What catches his eye, though, is on the furthest couch. He can see Steve leaning against the arm, laughing at a joke that Barnes has made. Barnes who is lying with his head against Steve’s side and looking up at him with an expression filled with so much affection and-
Oh.
Tony turns and runs back to his lab.
Tony thinks there needs to be some sort of order in his thoughts when dealing with things like this, so he decides to organise his emotional turmoil so that it’s nice and tidy.
Point the First: The team is having a movie night without him. Barnes was invited.
Point the Second: He hasn’t seen Steve in a week, yet Steve doesn’t seem to be concerned about whether he was coming back tonight or not, and neither do the others, since they didn’t think to wait.
Point the Third: Bucky Barnes is in love with Steve Rogers.
These three points, when coupled with other observations from the past few weeks lead to a pretty clear conclusion. His housemates, Steve included, like Barnes better than him.
It hurts, the realisation that Bucky loves Steve, because Tony realises he never asked Steve how he really felt about Barnes. He doubts Steve turned bi overnight after all. And now that being gay is ok, Barnes probably thinks they can make a go of it. Not that he thinks Steve is cheating. No matter how much this hurts, he will never think Steve capable of something like that. But likely Steve will realise, if he hasn’t already, that there’s nothing stopping them now.
Tony feels the tell-tale stinging in his eyes and he blinks furiously.
Don’t be an idiot, Stark, he berates himself furiously. It’s your fault for getting attached. You know people never stay.
He feels suddenly drained, so he turns off the lights in the workshop and lies down on the couch. It’s a long time before he manages to sleep.
When he wakes up, it feels like the morning after a heavy night of drinking. Even though he wants to stay hidden in the workshop, he desperately needs coffee. He makes a mental note to get a coffee machine for the workshop, but then remembers that it’s pointless, since Pepper will just have it removed like she has the last four. She seems to think he needs a least one reason to regularly leave the workshop. He makes it up the stairs to find the kitchen blissfully empty. JARVIS has helpfully already set the machine going, so all he has do is pour the liquid before he can gulp it back too fast, scalding all the way down. He pours a second cup and just as he’s about to leave, Steve comes in. He’s freshly showered, hair still in tousled spikes. And when he sees Tony, his face lights up. It feels like a kick to the arc reactor.
“Hey,” Steve greets, tucking his arms around Tony’s waist. “When did you get in?”
It’s easy to melt against Steve and Tony hates himself for it.
“Just got in,” he lies. “Late meeting.”
“You’ve been kind of busy lately. I missed you.”
He can’t help it. The honest answer comes automatically. “I missed you, too.”
He closes his eyes, savours the feel of the warm body against his for a moment, thinking of nothing else but this. He must linger a little too long, because he feels Steve’s fingers under his chin, tipping his head up.
“You ok?” he asks, eyes soft and concerned. Tony thinks about asking about Barnes and about them, opens his mouth and-
The sound of the others’ approaching footsteps filters in, and he sighs. “I’m fine, Cap.”
Steve frowns, and Tony knows it’s because Tony hasn’t called him Cap in private for months. But this is how it works isn’t it? That’s what Pepper had told him. That they would be ok, and she would be his CEO, but she needed space first. So that’s what he needs to give Steve. Then they can go back to being friends and still fight together, even if Steve’s with Barnes. He steps away and picks up his coffee from the bench.
Steve looks at him, clearly confused. He looks like he’s about to question it, but then Clint and Barnes come in, arguing about some fighting technique, and Darcy is coming in behind them to tell Tony about his schedule for the week. Tony gives Steve a small smile before he slips away to get ready for the day.
It’s for the best, cutting his losses before he loses it all in the fallout of some messy break up. Everything will be fine.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXx
He has several meetings to attend the following week and for once he’s grateful since it means he can spend time outside the tower. He avoids Steve as much as he can without being obvious and tries not to have to talk to anyone. Well, he can’t avoid Darcy who comes to remind him of deadlines and meetings, but everyone else he mostly manages not to have to see for more than a few minutes at a time.
On Monday, he’s on time to the Stark Industries board meeting, which makes Pepper ask him what’s wrong, though he manages to dodge her questions and genuinely worried look and slink away. He takes the calls he has to with Tokyo, and signs the backlog of paperwork he’s been neglecting. Steve comes down to tell him Bruce is making dinner, but Tony makes some excuse not to go. Steve tries to talk to him, but Tony’s not ready yet, so he waves it off, burying himself in work and not coming out until Steve retreats upstairs.
They get a call out on Tuesday and they all head out, Barnes as back up, and everyone gets on fine. Widow uses him as transport, Hawkeye snarks at him over the comms, Hulk calls him Tin man, and Cap pats him on the shoulder at the end.
“Good job, buddy,” he praises, and Tony realises that they’re doing what Fury had done before they’d got together, making a distinction between Ironman and Tony Stark. Tony wants to hit something, because he is Ironman, dammit! They shouldn’t get to like him just when he’s wrapped up in metal.
When he gets up on Wednesday and goes in search of breakfast, he finds both Clint and Barnes eating Clint’s favourite cereal that he makes Tony order from somewhere in Europe. He’d told Tony that if he even looked at it, he would be impaled immediately. Tony finds he isn’t hungry anymore.
On Thursday he realises that he hasn’t seen Steve in two days, and Steve hasn’t even come to ask why he’s sleeping in the workshop instead of with Steve like he usually does.
That night he manages to head for the supply of coffee in the kitchen at just the wrong time and gets railroaded into dinner by a disapproving looking Doctor Banner. Barnes is in his seat again. He’s chatting with Bruce about some experiment they did together earlier that day, and doesn’t that feel like a kick to the stomach. He knows it’s childish but Bruce was his friend first, his Science Buddy, and Barnes should get that, considering his own claim on Steve. Tony doesn’t talk to anyone. He keeps his head down, while he mindlessly moves his food around his plate. He misses the annoyed/worried looks from Natasha, the hurt look Steve keeps shooting him, and the confused faces of everyone else.
He’s downstairs later, buffing out a dent he got in their last fight when Clint comes down and pulls up a stool.
“Hey, Tony?”
“Yeah?” He doesn’t want to talk to any of them. Clint’s probably here to ask for a bow upgrade. A mean voice at the back of his mind asks whether he’d be down here at all, if Barnes had any engineering skills.
“No one’s really seen you the last couple of days and I, well, we, were wondering what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing.”
Clint snorts. “Nothing? Oh yeah, that’s why Steve’s got his worried face on twenty four-seven. Of course.”
“Steve worries about everything.”
“Yeah, but you most of all.”
“Well, you can tell him I’m fine.”
“Is it because Bucky is here?” Clint asks, without preamble and Tony feels an ache at the way the name sounds familiar on Clint’s tongue.
“Nothing is wrong. I don’t care if Barnes is here.”
“You know, you’re the only one who calls him Barnes.”
“Yeah, well, Bucky sounds like something out of a bad western. Barnes is better.”
“Sure, sure,” Clint says placating. Then his voice goes kind of soft.
“It’s just, the way you’ve been walking around. You kind of look like-”
“What?” Tony snaps, suddenly angry. “I look like what?”
“Like the fight’s lost before it’s begun,” Clint says and his voice is uncharacteristically gentle. “Kind of how I did, when Phil was gone.”
Tony feels the anger bleed out of him. That’s hardly the same is it? Phil was presumed dead, not walking around just upstairs, and Clint knew Phil loved him. It was ridiculous for him to look as bad off as Clint had, considering how much worse Clint’s situation had been, though that knowledge doesn’t really make him feel any better.
He looks at Clint and tries for a small smile that he’s sure looks as forced as it feels.
“Seriously, Clint, I’m fine.”
Clint looks him in the eyes for a moment and then sighs. “Alright, what the fuck ever man. I tried.” Then he gets up and leaves.
He wonders if they’re worried he’ll make them move out because he’s upset. It’s ridiculous. Of course he wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how they feel about him, he cares about them all now, and giving them up, having Steve move out and not be able to see him everyday, or go on missions, would hurt more than this does. So much more.
Everything comes to a head on Friday. He’s just finishing up a lunch meeting, when their next call out happens. He steps out of the restaurant and feels the ground rumble. He can hear the familiar noise of destruction, and heads up the block for a better view. The sun shines off the machine’s metal sides as it rolls through the city. There’s a box at the top, and Tony’s sure that will be where the control centre for the thing will be. The machine itself has multiple mechanical arms, which flail around crashing into buildings and sending debris down on the panicking civilians below. Tony whips out his communicator, opening a channel to JARVIS who confirms the departure of the Mark VII from the tower. He heads into the nearest building, making for the roof access. Once there, he opens the line to the team’s channel.
“Avengers, I have a situation here. What’s your ETA?”
Steve’s on the comm, almost immediately. “JARVIS just raised the alarm and sent your co-ordinates. We’ll be there shortly.”
“Rogers that.” He smiles as he hears Steve’s customary sigh.
The wristbands he’s wearing start to blink red, indicating the suit’s proximity and he looks up to see it shooting towards him at speed. Once it’s close enough, he leaps off the edge, freefalling for a few brief seconds before he feels the reassuring weight of the armour wrapping around him. He activates the thrusters, sending him back up and towards the threat currently destroying the city.
He tries a few shots at the machine’s metal body to see whether they have any kind of effect. When they don’t, he flies close to the top box, aiming one of the missiles from his shoulder into it before getting out of the blast radius. He hears the bang and when his scans inspect the site, they show only scorch marks.
“JARVIS, what is this thing even made of?”
“Scans show it as some kind of steel alloy sir, lined with something chemical, though my scans can’t penetrate it to confirm.”
“Relay that to the team, I’m going to see if I can’t slow it down.”
He spirals downward to the bottom, where the thing is moving on a pair of continuous tracks. In his ear JARVIS tells him the tracks are made of the same alloy, but that other than that, aren’t significantly different to the sort used in tanks.
He’s trying to think of ways to disable the tracks, when he hears a scream. Looking up, he sees a woman falling from a recently destroyed building and before he has time to think, he’s firing the boot jets and zooming towards her. He flies up, before dropping to catch her without harming her against the suit. She clings to him as he flies her a block away. When he puts her down she just looks at him, still terrified, but grateful too, and so he just tells her to head for the nearest bridge, because he knows if Coulson’s on top of it (and let’s face it, he always is) there will SHIELD agents at all of them to help civilians get to safety and to help contain the threat. He spends the next few minutes herding civilians out of the nearby blocks. Once he’s sure the immediate area is clear he lands on one of the buildings nearby.
“JARVIS, communicator.” As soon as the symbol shows up on the overhead, he’s speaking. “Guys, where are you? This thing is pretty strong and I’m going to need some help.”
“Ironman!” he hears and realises he can hear it from outside the helmet, too. He looks up and sees Thor, holding Black Widow, landing on the building beside him. “What do you know of our opponent?”
“It’s a big, angry pile of metal.”
“Are you sure we’re not talking about you?” Clint chips in.
“Hey!”
“Avengers,” Steve says patiently, “Let’s keep it relevant, shall we? Ironman, I’m coming in the SHIELD helicopter with Hawkeye and Bucky, you should be able to see us coming in.”
Tony zooms his view screen and indeed sees the chopper heading towards them.
He turns to Widow and Thor. “That thing is tough, but it’s got continuous tracks which I think might be our best bet at stopping it. The rest we can work out after.”
Widow nods, holding out her hands and Tony grasps them, flying low till he can safely drop her on the ground. JARVIS informs him that the chopper has landed and a few moments later Cap, Barnes and Hawkeye are in front of the machine. Cap gives Hawkeye a boost and Hawkeye shoots one of his custom arrows Tony developed into the lines of riveting holding one of the arms on. It explodes, and although it isn’t incredibly effective, it does much more damage than Tony’s attack had.
“Hawkeye, keep doing that,” Tony tells him, then flies low to help Natasha who is trying to jam debris into the tracks.
He can hear Thor on the open channel. “Shall I rain lightning down on this creature, or beat mighty Mjolnir upon it?”
“Not yet, Thor,” Tony answers, quickly. “It’ll be pretty conductive, but I don’t know what the substance coating it is yet, and I don’t know what will happen if it gets hit by a lightning bolt.”
He looks at Natasha. “Any luck?”
“Not at all. Though Cap and Bucky probably have more experience than you or I with these sorts of things.”
Tony groans internally. Oh great, yet another thing ‘Bucky’ would be good at. A small part of him wants to be petty, to fix it himself without the Sergeant, but he isn’t so vain that he would risk his team for the sake of his ego.
“Cap, Barnes, come ‘round the sides.”
A moment later both men are running alongside them as they follow the slow movement of the thing.
“Think you two can take care of this? It’s essentially a tank.”
Barnes and Cap grin at each other in a clear ‘remember that time’ moment that makes Tony’s stomach curl in on itself. He shakes it off as Cap looks to him.
“Yeah, we can do this. Can you take Bucky around the other side? I’ll take this one.”
It’s not the first time he’s had to help Barnes in a fight, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. He grips Barnes under the arms, zooming around to put him next to the tracks.
“I’m going to try slow it down from the front so that you two have your chance,” he tells him, before taking off.
Tony hovers in front of the machine. The repulsors can’t damage the exterior, but they can damage everything else. Moving back, he blasts the ground in front of the machine, watching as the tarmac ripples into waves. He fires a few more shots until the terrain is marred completely. It’s not enough to stop the machine’s movements, but it is enough to force it to slow down in order to cross the damaged street.
“Barnes, Cap, now.”
He hears the sound of Barnes jamming his prosthetic into the machine and the echo of Steve’s SHIELD doing the same. The noises continue until they are overtaken by another clamour, as the machine begins to shudder violently before coming to a stop.
“We have contained the damage,” Steve’s voice comes over the comms and Barnes cheers.
“Where’s the hulk?” Tony asks suddenly, surprised he hasn’t noticed the absence of the giant green guy before. “He could be really useful.”
“SHIELD’s flying him back. He had his trip remember?”
Oh, that’s right, he and Betty had been off on an overnight ‘scientific conference’. Like Tony didn’t know what that meant.
“Hulk might be able to actually damage this thing. So you know, as soon as he gets here, smash.”
He’s about to say more, when he suddenly becomes aware of the amount of noise around him. The thing is clunking and groaning, and small panels are lifting up on the main body.
“It’s doing something, everyone back up.”
He shoots backwards to get some distance, turning around just in time to see the open panels start to shoot dozens of small metallic balls into the air.
“JARVIS, what are those?”
“Scans indicate some kind of incendiary device, sir.”
“Fuck! Everyone out of the way, they’re bombs!”
He pulls up the map to show his teammates locations and tracks the trajectory of the projectiles. They’re all at a fairly safe distance, except for- “Barnes!”
There’s not a lot of time for him to think about a course of action, so instead he’s streaking to reach the man before any of the explosives do. Barnes is moving, but not fast enough, the piles of debris slowing him down. Several hit the surrounding buildings, but one lands on the concrete right in front of Barnes with a clang. Tony flies forward to grip Barnes’ arm tightly and drag him into the closest building.
“Stark, what the h-” Tony knocks them onto the floor as the bomb explodes. The explosion is big, considering the size of the device, but the suit takes most of the damage, protecting Tony and Barnes. The whole building rocks violently, pieces of plaster falling from the ceiling.
Tony waits for the aftershocks to let up, but they don’t.
“JARVIS?”
“Sir, the infrastructure is severely damaged, as there were several explosions that also occurred on the upper floors. The building will soon collapse.”
The ceiling above them cracks and half collapses onto them. Tony catches it holding it in place above Barnes and forces himself to standing.
“Sir, there is an 80% chance the integrity of the suit won’t be able to withstand the weight of the building. It will barely be able to hold the first few floors.”
JARVIS’ scans are showing the top floors are becoming unstable, and the weight Tony is holding increases as the second floor crumbles on top of the first. JARVIS’ scans also show the building is empty, which is the first break Tony’s caught all day.
Tony’s brain is pulling up and discarding possibilities. He needs to organise his thoughts then he can solve the problem.
Problem: He and Barnes are trapped in a collapsing building.
Points to consider: First, he’s the only thing holding the building up, though not for much longer, it’s coming down anyway. Second, Barnes is here with him. Third, Barnes needs to get out of here.
“You need to get out of here,” he tells Barnes, who looks up at him from the floor.
“Yeah, we should-”
“No,” Tony corrects. “You, out that door, now.”
The readouts on the screen are telling him what he already knows. If he stops supporting the building it will come down immediately. Even if he let go and tried to fly, there wouldn’t be enough time to get him and Barnes out; the bomb blast pushed them too far in.
“What about you?” Barnes shouts over the crashes around them.
“I’ll leave once you’re gone.” The lie slips easily off his tongue.
Barnes looks at him suddenly, before narrowing his eyes. “I’m not leaving without you,” he says stubbornly, and Tony wonders if this is where Steve got it from. It’s a shame that he has to hate Barnes on principle, seeing as he’s the reason he has to give Steve up and he’s stealing his family out from under him, because under different circumstances he thinks maybe he might have liked him.
“Barnes, I don’t have time to argue-”
“Then don’t, let’s both go.” Barnes is close to him, standing his ground.
Tony thinks about Steve, and how much it will hurt him if he loses Barnes again. He thinks about how much he loves Steve, and how much Barnes clearly means to the rest of them. He doesn’t want that kind of pain for them. Steve does so much for him, and this is something he can do for Steve. It’s an easy choice.
“JARVIS, if I direct all power to my right arm, how long would I have?”
“No more than 11 seconds, sir.”
“Is it enough?” he asks, because it has to be.
“Barely, sir.” Because JARVIS knows him better than anyone, already knows what he’s asking, his voice sounds just like it did with the nuke when he asked if he should call Pepper.
Tony realises that he’s been blocking the team comm and opens the channel.
There’s yelling from everyone and Cap calling for he and Barnes to, “Sound off, dammit.” He’s cursing, which means he’s really worried, and it sounds like they’re planning to come help. The building is too unstable for that and Tony won’t endanger his team. He has to do it now.
“All power to right arm,” he tells JARVIS and as soon as it’s done, he uses his left to grip Barnes by the front of his SHIELD uniform. “Take care of him for me,” he says to the shocked looking man in front of him, because he needs to know that Steve will be looked after when he’s gone. Then he throws Barnes forward, across the floor, through the open doorway and out onto the street. Barnes has just enough time to look back at Tony, face angry and horrified, before JARVIS is counting down the power percentage in his ear and the building crashes down on top of him.
xXxXxXxXx
When Tony becomes aware of anything again, he hears a slow beeping sound. It’s…kind of annoying, actually. He frowns, trying to find the source of the sound, but it’s too dark. It takes a moment for him to realise it’s because his eyes are closed. At about the same time, he realises he hurts. A lot.
He groans a bit, trying hard to open his eyes. It’s hard, but he manages it. There’s a white wall in his vision, and a door. He looks down at himself, sees the cast around his arm and groans again, though this time in annoyance. He knows where he is: SHIELD medical. He hates it here.
“Finally awake, huh, princess?” a voice beside him says and Tony turns to see Barnes in the chair near his bed.
Tony rolls his eyes. Ow. “God, what did I do to deserve waking up next to you?”
Barnes laughs. “According to Steve? Being a reckless moron.”
“Yeah, that sounds like him.”
“He was worried. You’ve been out for two days. Hang on, I’ll go get the Doc.”
Barnes returns with a SHIELD doctor, who grabs the chart from the end of the bed.
“Well, Mr. Stark, you were incredibly lucky.”
Tony snorts. “I don’t feel it.”
“I don’t doubt it. You came in with a dislocated shoulder, extensive facial bruising from the pressure of your faceplate-” that would be why it hurts to open his eyes and everything feels kind of puffy, “a minor concussion, three cracked ribs on your left side, and extensive bruising right across your abdomen. We were concerned about internal bleeding, but you managed to escape that, though I have no doubt you’ll be sore for a long while.”
Tony nods. Considering how he feels now, he’s not surprised.
“Do you have any questions?”
“Yeah, how did I-?” He gestures with his good arm to try and indicate his being alive in a hospital and the doctor nods in understanding.
“As I understand it, when the building came down, some of the foundations collapsed around you, which, along with you suit, created some protection. But don’t underestimate it,” the doctor tells him firmly. “You’re definitely lucky to be alive.”
He heads out after that, leaving Tony with Barnes.
There’s silence for a while. Then Barnes clears his throat.
“Why did you do it?”
“Why did I do what?”
Barnes glares at him. “Don’t play dumb, Stark, it doesn’t suit you. Why did you throw me out of there?”
“So that you would get out, Barnes, what do you think? I wasn’t getting out, no need for both of us to die.”
“If you’d have waited, we might both have made it out. The team could’ve gotten us out,” Barnes shoots back, hotly.
His tone gets Tony’s hackles up. “The building was coming down, Barnes. You think I was going to put my family at risk like that?”
Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up for some reason, but he doesn’t do anything except continue his argument. “That’s their call. You didn’t see how angry Clint was when he found out, or Nat. Bruce is probably not speaking to you, by the way, the Other Guy had to dig you out, and he was worried.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “That’s because the Hulk hates digging through fibreglass. It itches. I don’t know what you’re worried about anyway. You won. Congratulations! They like you better. I’ll just go back to being the hermit in the workshop, thank you very much.”
Barnes stares at him. “Steve’s right. You are an idiot.”
Tony huffs, folds his arms over his chest, then unfolds them when the movement makes his body hurt. His injuries remind him of the fight, and it suddenly occurs to Tony that he doesn’t know how the rest of the battle went. He doesn’t want to have to ask Barnes, but he’s got no choice. He has to know.
“What happened with the giant, mechanical thingamajig? Is everyone all right?”
“Bruce showed up not long after you went under. The Hulk ripped that thing to shreds. It was being controlled remotely, so SHIELD tracked the signal and Coulson picked the guy up. They’re all fine. The doctors wouldn’t let all of them stay, only Steve, and he was here until about an hour ago when I sent him back to the tower.”
“And he went?” Tony asks, incredulous. A stubborn Steve was a truly unmoveable thing.
“Natasha took him.”
“Ah.” That made sense.
“I thought it would be good for him to get something to eat, change of clothes. Plus I wanted to talk to you.”
“Do I have to?” Tony asks. He’s tired, and the pain is getting worse.
“Yes,” Barnes says, tone brooking no argument. “But first I’ll get the nurse to give you more painkillers. Your wincing is putting me off.”
Barnes leaves and returns a moment later with a nurse, who places a needle in his I.V tube and injects his meds. A few minutes later, he feels the pain drop to a more manageable level.
“So,” Barnes starts, looking at Tony hard. “You don’t like me very much.”
It’s not a question.
Tony frowns at him. “What?”
“You don’t like me,” Barnes repeats. “Yet, you gave me a new arm and saved my life. I admit I’m curious.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “Have you read my file? On the first Avengers mission I flew a nuke into a portal to save the city. You’re not that special.”
Barnes smirks. “Still. Seems strange that you’d bother.”
The painkillers are making his head a bit fuzzy which is the only reason Tony has for saying what he does. “You’re important.”
Barnes’ eyebrows shoot to his hairline. “Important?”
“To Steve.”
“So are you. In fact, maybe even more so, considering-”
“What, that we’re dating?” Tony snaps. He’s not quite ready to say it past tense, and he thinks that if Steve hasn’t managed to break it to him yet, he shouldn’t have to. “You’re the one thing Steve has from his life before. He’s known me a year, he’s known you forever. It’s hard to remember, since for us the war’s long over, but for Steve, it’s hardly been any time at all.”
Barnes’ gaze is hard. “So what, it doesn’t mean anything to you?”
Tony stiffens angry. Ow. “Of course it does. I love Steve, but he’s better off with you.”
Barnes’ face smooths out into a confused expression. “So if you love him, then why are you trying to foist him off onto me?”
“Because I know how much he loves you. I don’t want him to have to choose and I’m not sure I could take it if he does.” He’s so tired but he needs to finish this with Barnes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever have the strength to do this with Steve.
Barnes sighs. “You know when Steve told me about you, and what you two were, I admit I was pretty shocked. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you two are evil or sinners or anything, it’s just not something that was done in our time, well, not done openly, and it takes some time getting used to the idea that it’s alright now. That even though some people still don’t approve, people actually look down on them, it’s pretty incredible, you know? And then I met you, and I don’t know, I thought maybe you were just another person who was trying to take advantage of him. I mean before he got all super-soldier the dames didn’t really go for him-”
“I’ve seen pictures. Pretty stupid dames,” Tony mutters- because seriously, Steve was adorable back then- and Barnes chuckles.
“Yeah, I always thought so. They didn’t get that he was more than just a scrawny kid from Brooklyn. Then he got big and all of a sudden they cared. I guess what I’m saying is, that kid has always needed someone who got that he was more than just what he looked like. I looked you up, and saw that you were this guy who went with a lot of important people, and I thought, maybe, that you were just with him ‘cause he’s Captain America. But then I realised, there wasn’t anything about you being into guys, and that if you were such a hoity-toity skirt chaser, why would you be with Steve? The papers here really care about who you go with. If you were just in it to be seen with someone impressive, you’ve got enough money to get any kind of broad you want. Why would you make Steve your fella?”
Tony goes to open his mouth, he thinks he should be insulted, though its not like he can deny he slept around a lot before Afghanistan and Pepper. Barnes puts up his hand to stop him.
“I had it wrong. And I’m sorry. I saw how you were with him, and now that you’re apparently ready to step aside in Steve’s best interests, to the point where you let a building nearly kill you, I know that you’re the one he’s been waiting for.”
Tony’s chest feels tight. He doesn’t think he’s ever had someone say he was good for someone. He never has been.
He’s not now.
“I’m a placeholder. He doesn’t love me, I mean, I know he cares for me, but I was convenient while you were gone. In all fairness, it’s not as if it was likely you were coming back, seeing as for all intents and purposes you were dead, so it’s not like you can blame Steve for not waiting or anything-“
He takes a breath to stop himself from babbling, no need to draw this out, “-but you’re here now.”
As though that last outburst had drained the last of the energy he had, he feels his eyelids get heavy. Deciding this is probably the best time to get out of the conversation since no one wants to pick on the unconscious guy, he lets them fall shut, falling asleep almost immediately.
xXxXxXxXxX
When he wakes up again, Barnes is gone and Steve is there.
He’s sitting kind of slumped, staring at Tony’s hand, which he’s holding and stroking gently with his thumb. It feels nice. He lets it go on for a few minutes, before he squeezes gently to let Steve know he’s awake.
Steve’s head snaps up, his eyes boring into Tony’s. He’s got his specific worried-about-Tony face on, which always makes Tony feel like a total dick. He also looks exhausted.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” He doesn’t really know what to say, because Steve’s face also looks kind of sad. He’s not sure if he wants to listen to Steve break up with him.
Steve looks torn for a moment, then says quietly, “Ok, so first things first. I want to make it clear that normally I would already be having the ‘Tony-you-need-to-stop-throwing-yourself-into-dangerous-situations-and-nearly-getting-yourself-killed’ talk - and don’t think that you’re managing to dodge that, because what you did was unbelievably reckless - but I think there’s something we need to discuss first.”
He takes a deep breath and then says, “I talked to Bucky.”
Tony hates that they’re doing this here. He’s trapped in this hospital bed, he can’t leave and hide in his workshop if it gets too much. And the last thing he wants to do, while he’s injured and in pain, is to actually have to hear Steve tell him he’s leaving him for Bucky.
“Did you?”
“Yeah, and I really think we need to talk, Tony.”
The worst phrase ever uttered, Tony thinks bitterly.
“First of all, and I’m not sure how you got this from what’s been happening lately, though I guess we have been hanging out a lot together, and I haven’t really seen you much, but you know he’s just woken up, and you said you weren’t bothered, and you’ve been spending a lot of time in the workshop but I just thought it was because you were busy! If I’d have known what you were thinking, I would-”
“Steve,” Tony interjects, because Steve when nervous is worse than Tony. He can babble forever.
Steve takes a deep breath. “Bucky and I are not dating. You and I are. I have no plans to date Bucky. Ever.”
“But you two would be great together,” Tony protests. He doesn’t want to, but he wants Steve to miss out on his chance of happily-ever-after with Bucky even less. He just wants Steve happy, even if it hurts.
Steve huffs, exasperated. “Bucky isn’t into men. At all. I really don’t understand how you got that from the stories I told you.”
Oh. That might have been why Barnes had said, “What you two were.” Tony likes to think he would have picked up on that if he hadn’t almost died recently.
He’s not sure that makes it better, being second best to a man who doesn’t even love Steve back.
“I’m sorry he doesn’t feel the same way,” Tony says, looking down at the bedclothes, and though it’s trite, he means it.
“I am not in love with Bucky,” Steve says and Tony’s eyes snap up to meet his. Steve’s gaze is fiery, and his mouth has a stubborn set to it. “I’m in love with you, you idiot. And I can’t believe that you didn’t know that. I think what bothers me most is that you thought I would just up and leave you for Bucky. I mean, geeze Tony, what kind of guy do you think I am?” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.
Tony struggles to think of how to answer this, because, wow, Steve loves him, and also because he never thought Steve was cruel.
“No, I mean- I just thought, you two had history, and you’ve already lost so much, Steve-”
“The last thing I would want is to lose you too, Tony,” Steve interrupts vehemently, and it makes something in Tony’s chest unfurl warm and tender. “And I’m sorry if you doubted how I feel about you. This is my first real thing, you know? And I didn’t want to look stupid by saying it too soon or something. I mean with Peggy we never really even said anything, but we both kind of knew we had something, and I guess I just assumed we were like that too. So I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but I love you, Tony.”
His face is doing that completely earnest thing again, and it makes Tony’s heartbeat speed up.
“I love you too, you know,” he says softly, and Steve smiles, ducking his head in that happy ‘aw shucks’ way that he does. He takes Tony’s hand again, squeezing it firmly.
“Course you do. You’re my best guy after all.” He manages to say it with a straight face, but Tony just laughs, feeling the cold ball of misery he’s been carrying around for the last few weeks start to finally break apart.
xXxXxXxXxX
Tony is allowed to return to the tower a couple of days later under strict medical instructions. He’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have been allowed but the doctor had taken one look at honest, steadfast Captain America who had promised to make sure Tony doesn’t do anything strenuous, and that he takes his medication, and comes in for a check up the following week. Tony disagrees with all three of these things, but he gets strategy, and it’s the only way he’s going to be allowed out of here. Medical insists on a wheelchair out of the hospital, which is ridiculous, but Tony ends up having to deal, because there’s not much you can do when you’re injured and Steve Rogers picks you up and places you in one. Outside, Coulson is there to greet them, along with Clint who looks way too thrilled to be behind the wheel of one of Tony’s cars.
Once Steve has gotten Tony loaded safely into the car, Tony glares at Clint. “Who exactly gave you permission to drive one of my babies?”
Clint looks at him eyebrows raised. “Oh, I’m sorry, didn’t you hear? New rule, if someone on the team makes a dick move and almost gets himself killed, he gives up all rights to complain.”
Tony goes to respond, but Coulson beats him to it. “Children, perhaps we could leave the fighting till we get home?”
Tony wants to respond to that too, but then Steve is in the car, pressing up against him, and he leans against him, enjoying the warmth he finds.
When they reach the tower, Steve helps him from the car, and they take a detour through the lab so that Tony can check on things.
The bots are pleased to see him, and the suit- oh god, the suit. He’s had the suit damaged before of course, but that doesn’t make it any less painful to see it all bent and broken. He’ll have a lot of work to do on it, if he doesn’t have to just start from scratch. If it’s hard for him to look at, it seems harder for Steve who goes pale when he sees it. Tony takes his hand and squeezes gently and Steve gives him a small smile and kisses his forehead gently before leading him out of the workshop to the main living room. Everyone is already there.
Surprisingly, Darcy is the first one up to hug him, berating him for being an idiot. She’s not the only one to do it. The sentiment is thoroughly backed up by Jane and Betty, who also hug him – it’s pretty nice, the most hugs he thinks he’s ever gotten in one go- then Thor runs to him, picking him up with a big grin.
“Thor, careful of his ribs!” Steve yelps, trying to pull the god away, but Tony just grins despite the pain, hugging Thor back just as enthusiastically.
When he gets put down, Natasha is at his side, still being a goddamn ninja, and tells him that if he ever, “pulls something like this again, I will end you Tony.” He thinks this means maybe she likes him or something, and when he says this, she smirks. “In your dreams.” But Tony can see the affectionate glint in her eye that gives her away. “I was just sick of having to hand Clint tissues as he moped about missing you.”
Clint tackles her, yelling, “I was not, Nat, shut up!” and they start a wrestling match on the ground that everyone wisely takes a step back from.
Tony looks over at the person in the living room who has not approached him. Bruce is very decidedly not looking at him. The others move away to give them some space, talking about making a dinner to celebrate Tony’s not-death, and he goes to sit beside Bruce.
“Bruce…” he offers, not really sure what to say.
“You’re a jerk,” Bruce retorts, still not looking at him.
“I know, I’m sorry.”
“I had to dig you out from under a pile of ruins, and then pry your unconscious body out of your broken armour.”
“I know,” Tony repeats softly.
“And why didn’t you tell me you were upset about Bucky being here?” he says quietly, finally turning to look at him. Tony feels embarrassed. He looks around the room to see Barnes at the table, raising an eyebrow and shrugging a shoulder in a ‘what did you expect me to do’ kind of manner. Tony glares at him, but Barnes just smirks.
He looks back at Bruce, who is staring at him expectantly. “It was stupid.”
“It’s not stupid if it bothers you,” Bruce tells him sagely. “You need to let us know so we can help. We just kind of assumed you were busy with a project. You know how you get. If we’d have known you were feeling left out, we could have done something about it.”
Tony nods, because he knows they would, and really he should’ve known better. Then Bruce smiles. “Besides, you know you’re still my favourite. Well, except for Betty, but you understand that, right?”
Tony laughs, feeling lighter. “Hoes before bros? Yeah, I get that, I mean I’ve got a Steve so-” He’s cut off by a choking noise from the kitchen, and he and Bruce turn to see a blushing Steve, clearly having heard everything with that super hearing of his. He can’t tell if Steve’s offended at Tony using the word ‘hoe’ to begin with, or the fact that Tony just called him one. Bruce snorts and then starts laughing uncontrollably, and Tony joins him, loving that Bruce is finally relaxed enough to do this with the team. He can hear Natasha asking Steve what’s wrong, with that tone that says she already knows but likes to watch Steve stammer and blush. And Barnes is slinging an arm around Steve’s shoulders and joining the teasing. It doesn’t make him twitch to see Barnes do that anymore, not since Steve affirmed that Tony has nothing to worry about on that front. And the team’s reactions to him not being crushed by a building have Tony convinced he probably doesn’t need to worry on that front, either.
Maybe, he could even like Barnes. Eventually. He’s starting to think his worry about losing Steve may have made Barnes seem like more of a jerk than he really is. And Barnes even admitted he was essentially testing Tony this whole time (which is not cool, because if anyone is going to perform social experiments in this tower it will be the guy with his name on the building, thank you very much). The short of it is, Barnes and he understand each other a little better now and Tony thinks that they might be able to be something resembling friends, one day.
Maybe.
To be fair it’s mostly that it’s really hard to continue hating someone who gives you their blessing to date the most important person in their life. Barnes thinks Tony’s actually good enough for Steve, the best man Tony’s ever known.
Tony sits with Bruce for a while, until Betty comes over to tell them to come eat and they join the others at the table. It feels good to be with everyone again and Tony is deliriously happy (he suspects the painkillers might have something to do with it, but he can’t be sure). He tucks into the food he’s handed with gusto. He doesn’t even put up much protest when Steve refuses to let him have a scotch (“Not while you’re taking pills, Tony.”) with his dinner. They manage to make it through half of dinner without incident before Clint takes a drink from Darcy’s glass by accident, and Darcy makes grossed out noises until Clint rolls his eyes.
“Don’t be so uptight about it,” Clint says. “I mean we are a family after all. Isn’t that right Tony?” He says it jokingly, but kind, not smirking or anything.
Tony still freezes. His face flushes and he’s embarrassed, because he must have said it in front of Barnes, though he doesn’t remember, and he feels like an idiot. And everyone probably thinks it’s pathetic that Tony even thinks that and he wants to bolt, because it’s emotional and embarrassing and old habits die hard-
But then Steve is coming out of the kitchen, putting an arm around Tony’s shoulder, and taking a seat on the bench beside him.
“It’s ok,” he says. His smile is warm, and Tony tries to calm his body down from fight-or-flight. “We care about you too, you know.”
Then Darcy is saying, “I think it’s sweet, at least Tony is man enough to admit he loves us. Not like you Clint.”
And then Clint is yelling, again, and Coulson is rolling his eyes, but smiling warmly at Tony. Bruce nudges him with his shoulder and Barnes has the audacity to wink at him and grin, and Tony’s not sure what’s happening. Then Steve is leaning over to kiss him lightly. “It’s their way of saying you’re their family, too.”
Tony looks around the table to see the others smiling at him.
He lets the panic subside, feeling the happy glow spread through his body, because apparently it’s not just him and that is greatness.
He rallies himself. “Just because you all think I’m a sap, doesn’t mean I am one,” Tony tells them, trying to sound firm, but he has a feeling that the smile he can’t seem to keep off his face may be undermining his stern tone. “I am Tony Stark and you should all consider yourselves lucky that I am generous enough to let you all live here, family or not.”
Natasha snorts. “Whatever you say, Tony.” Then it seems the moment is over, everyone going back to their normal conversations and table routine. But Tony knows it’s for his benefit, giving him time to deal, and he loves them for it.
Steve finds Tony later, standing out on one of the balconies and looking out at the city. Steve wraps his arms around him, pulling him close, and Tony goes without any resistance at all.
“You were right, about what you said before,” Steve says to him quietly. “We are lucky. Did I ever thank you for what you did, bringing us all together here?”
Tony chuckles. “Yeah, you did. You were all ridiculously polite about it, remember?”
“Well, it bears repeating. I got back everything I was missing, and it was all thanks to you.”
Tony feels embarrassed; he always does when Steve tells him these sorts of things.
So like every other time, he just goes for the most honest answer.
“I love you.”
And Steve nuzzles his jaw, whispering, “Love you, too,” and Tony thinks that this right here, and everyone inside, is exactly what he’s always needed.
The End.