Chapter Text
“Orderrrr up!” Spongebob yelled as his voice rang throughout the Krusty Krab.
“You don’t need to yell when the customer is still in line!” Squidward fussed back at Spongebob.
“But Squidward, the customer should always feel valued!” He shoved the tray holding the customers' food over Squidwards head.
“Watch it! You almost knocked me out! You’re lucky Mr. Krabs likes that you don't care about getting paid because you’d be gone by now.” Squidward complained. He turned to the customer, “Here’s your slop, don’t choke on it. Heh.. choke on it.” He said to the customer in between chuckles at his own joke.
A beep went off on Squidward’s watch, it was time for his break. “I’m going on my break now Mr. Krabs. Mark my words, one of these days I’ll leave for my break and never come back!” He yelled as went to the break room.
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Squidward had been working at the Krusty Krab for the past 20 years. When he first got the job he was freshly out of college and recovering from a break up from his 6 year relationship with his now arch nemesis Squilliam Fancyson. He had been hoping to get his mind off of things in a productive way since he also had college debts to pay off. But he soon found himself working everyday at a dead end job hoping his art or music career would take off so he could quit this job, but it never happened so instead he’d spend his days imagining a life where the Krusty Krab had never existed.
When he first got the job, Spongebob was still a kid so instead a fry cook named Jim worked there. And no matter how much Squidward hated to admit it, he was head over heels for the man. Jim was a down to Earth guy, completely different from Squidward’s ex boyfriend. He adored his ginger curls and perfect blue skin. One day Squidward had heard Jim describe his current girlfriend and talk about her long blonde hair. Squidward had made it his goal to make himself appealing to Jim even though he was straight and taken. He grew his hair over the next year to make it long and blonde, just the way Jim liked it. But no matter what Squidward did, Jim would never notice him.
Squidward had planned to tell his coworker about his feelings on Jim’s birthday. It had been almost 12 long years of his feelings not being reciprocated or even known and he couldn’t take it anymore. He had written a love letter and planned to give it to Jim during closing at 8. After a long day of anxious waiting, it was time. Squidward walked over to Jim to give him his letter and gift, a brand new spatula.
“H-hey Jim, happy birthday again... I got you a gift.” Squidward said anxiously.
“Thanks Squid,‘preciate it a lot!” Jim said as he reached his fin out, but then he hesitated and dropped it. “It feels wrong taking yer gift before I say sumtin I’ve needed to say fer a while…”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me I-I don't mind.” Squidward said, trying to hide his rapidly growing anxiety.
“... I’m gettin married ‘nd she wants to move to Shell City.” Jim said, averting Squidward’s gaze.
“Oh. I didn’t know you were serious about your relationship.” Squidward said while looking at the ground.
How dumb could he be, of course Jim would take his relationships seriously, he's a good guy! Squidward thought.
“Also uh… I know you like me, Squid. It’s pretty obvious. I’m not like that ya know?” Jim said.
“W-what do you mean? GAY?? I-I’m not gay who said I was GAY?!” Squidward said in a panic.
He couldn’t know. After everything Squidward had done to keep people from knowing, Jim still found out. Of course Jim wouldn’t like him, he was normal and amazing unlike Squidward. He knew there was nothing wrong with being gay, but he didn’t want it to be obvious. He had planned on telling Jim about his dumb unrequited love, but now he could never. He had missed his chance. He would never see Jim again. He was the only thing that made his job worthwhile. Tears started to fill his eyes.
Jim probably noticed the tears so he put his arm on Squidward's shoulder and said, “Hey it's okay ya know? I don't mind.. I err never have. I want you to be my best man.” He said to Squidward.
“I’d love that. Your girl must be really lucky to have you as a fiancee, whoever she is. Sorry for overreacting, I thought you’d think I was gross or something.” Squidward said dejectedly.
“Never! Yer a great bud, Squid. Can I have my gift now?” He asked.
“Yep here you go.” Squidward put the wrapped gift into Jims hands.
“Uh.. what ‘bout the letter?” Jim asked.
“Oh uh this? It was s-something I wrote about me being.. gay… I wanted to tell you by letter, b-but since you already know you don’t need this…” He replied while shoving the letter into his shirt pocket.
“Okay then, thanks fer the gift Squid. Yer a great bud!” Jim pulled Squidward into a hug and clocked out for the night. “I’ll see ya tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Goodnight Jim. Happy birthday!” Squidward said while trying to hide the sorrow in his voice as he watched Jim walk out of the restaurant.
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You’re seriously thinking about him again? Squidward thought to himself. Before he knew it, he had spent his break thinking about that awful night. He took a deep breath and pushed the bad memories further back into his mind so he wouldn’t be able to remember what happened.
He didn’t realize how long he sat there trying to forget until an obnoxious sponge opened the door to the break room.
“Squidward, you’re 10 minutes over your allowed break time! It’s time to get back to work!” He said while pointing to his watch.
“For Neptune's sake! Can’t a squid get any peace here?! I’ll come out when I want to!” He yelled at the sponge.
“S-sorry Squidward I was just so excited to work with you again…” Spongebob said as he walked out of the room with tears in his eyes.
Neptune, how can that sponge be so sensitive all the damn time? Squidward thought. He came to the decision that it's in his best interests that he ought to return to work before he’d actually get his pay docked.
He sighed as he began to take orders again, stuck again in a cycle until he eventually clocked out for the night and went home to an empty bed.