Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Madalyn paced around her shop listening absently to Asra begging her to run off with them away from this awful sickness. She was so tired. All she wanted for so long was for them to ask to take her to run away with them and here it was. Not because of the love she had hoped would form but because of fear. They always run, She reminds herself though it does little to dull the arch in her chest. This person she had spent the better part of her life pinning over was willing to drop everything so easily and run. She couldn’t, she had built a life here; this was her home. “Asra I can’t leave these people, my people, they’re dying.”

“If we don’t leave, how do you know you won’t die? Maddy please.”

Tears stung her eyes, “Asra if I am to die here among the people who have cared for me for so long then that is the blessing I will hold on to, but I can’t run like you. I can’t leave behind these people like you. We can help them Asra. Have they not cared for you too?”

“I will not stay, Maddy.”

Asra’s voice was like cold water waking her from the delusion that they would ever stay. They never stay and yet expect me to always wait for them. She forced air out of her lungs. Oh, the pain in her chest was unlike anything she’d ever felt. “Then leave. Do it like you always do. Go ahead, look at everything and say you do not care that it is falling apart, but my aunt’s bones live here and so will mine.”

Asra became somber. The air told Madalyn that much. Asra turned and pushed open the door. No goodbye left their lips. Madalyn sank to her knees as the air around her began to swirl. Her sobs were small and choked as this was not the first time they left when she needed them and deep in her bones she knew it wouldn’t be the last.

Eventually, she rose from the floor when her sobs became bearable. She walked over to the urn of her aunt and thought back on what she’d always said, “Life is a blessing, do all you can to preserve it, but remember death is a promise one that shouldn’t be broken.”

She still doesn’t fully understand those words, but to some degree, she knew her aunt would want her to stay and help these people.she pushed against the shelf. She wanted quiet peace. She decided to head to the woods. She sat in the clearing allowing the breeze to blow away her worries. Besnik, her familiar lumbered over to her licking away her tears. Besnik couldn't speak like Faust could but the understanding between Besnik and Madalyn always made it seem as if Besnik could. “Hey Bez, no Asra decided to leave before it got too bad.”

Besnik slammed his paw into the ground. “No bez you can't smash Asra into the ground. See this is why Auntie Naza never let you into the shop bez.”

He shook his shaggy head. “Yes I know you’d only do it to people who deserve it but that’s not the point.”

She spent the evening talking to Besnik and even fell asleep in the forest that night letting its calm wash over her.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

A handwritten note hung from the local clinic door. The chicken scratch of a note caught her eye. She stepped closer to it. It was a “help wanted” note. Finally, some way she could help the sick of the city and an excuse to not stay in the shop. She pushed open the door. A young man stood from his desk messy auburn hair shone in the dim candlelight.His voice was deeper than she had expected. It shocked her a little. “Hi. yes, are you here for an appointment?”

“ I saw a note that you needed help.”

“Are you a doctor?”

He looked excited, she looked around and realized how the room seemed to close around a person and trap them. “ I’m not a doctor but a magician who specializes in medical herbs.”

“Close enough. Name’s Julian, Doctor Julian Devorak.”

He stepped closer and he bowed with a flair that Maddy couldn’t help but smile at.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Time passed and they helped who they could but it got worse and worse. She sat at her desk practically begging the powers to give her the insight needed to help these people. “Do you think we’re doing enough Madalyn?”

She looked up. Julian’s sleepless eyes stared into hers. She took a deep breath and closed her notebook. “We’re doing everything we can.”

“The count has gotten the red plague. All of the best doctors are banding together to make real discoveries.”

“And you want to go?”

“I don’t know Maddy, we're not getting anywhere here, more and more people die.”

The air swirled around her. The more patients they lost the more Julian seemed to slip away from her. “ I'll stay here and help the people.”

He looked conflicted but in the end, he grabbed his coat and walked off. She lost another she knew she had. He might not have the red plague but no doubt it had taken Julian from her. Just like it pushed Asra away from her.

Day and night she cared for the dying. She sent letter after letter to Julian and Asra trying to get even one of them to care enough to come back to her. She watched as people stopped getting buried but rather taken to get burned. It made her sick.

In the end, it did make her sick. She woke her body ached with exhaustion and something else, something scarier. She walked to the mirror. Maybe the feeling would fade with a bath? She stepped in front of a mirror. Her eyes, the deadly red, covered them.no, No, NO. She couldn’t die, she was still helping people.

That's what she did till she got too tired to move. She spent the last of her moving moments writing letters to both Julian and Asra. She didn’t want to die alone. She accepted that she was going to die, but she still prayed to the powers to not let her be alone. She found peace in that but missed Julian’s goofy smile and dramatic flair. She missed Asra’s smooth voice and the feeling of their magic. She only hoped they would miss her when she was gone.

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Bones know very little of desperation. They are only pulled through life by the muscles. These bones know only stability. They were never broken and if the muscles around them hurt there was water that would heal them, But now the bones are alone being pulled from the ash. The water boiled with a pain the bones did not understand. Ripples of pain made all the bones sad. The water promised to fix the bones, but the bones didn’t understand. What was there to fix? We’re not broken, they wanted to say, but no one hears the bones.

Madalyn, I’m Madalyn. Soft thoughts filled her head. I should be dead. She opened her eyes to fields of neon blues and greens. Six beings looked down on her. She only recognized one. The magical fox she’d see with Asra sometimes. “Why am I here?”

The magician knelt. “Madalyn you live.”

Living, and dying both had lost their meaning to her in this place. She knew nonetheless that this was not true. It was an honest mistake. “No, I don't, I am of the magic. I do not live.”

“You will return to the world.”

Fear for the first time in what felt like forever held her. She could see its ugly coils on her body.“No, but I don’t live, I'm free.”

He ignored her words.“But what we take we also give. We take your death, what do you want?”

“I don’t want to go back. Let it be someone new who goes back.”

“As you wish you will not be you when you go back.”

She cried. That isn’t what she meant. She realized it was too late as the ground beneath her opened up and she fell in. She could feel the peace slipping from her and the memories of the many spiritual realms. The colors fade to more real colors. She forgets more and more. She lost more and more of herself. The only thing that stuck was a burning fire of anger. The last thought that was her own was, how dare my death be taken from me!

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

They open their eyes completely in pain. Who am I? Everything hurts and feels wrong. A person stood over them, studying them. “Madalyn?”

They wanted to answer but all they could do was let their mouth fall open. Their thoughts hurt them but they weren't alone it seemed.

How Asra took care of them. Asra reminded them of water. Asra’s name was the first thing they learned how to say in those times. “As-ra.”

How quickly Asra turned and scampered over, their eyes bright as purple stars. “Yes, Madalyn.”

They said it again this time with a little more clarity. “Asra.”

Nothing could replace that smile. The unadulterated joy of that moment made a distant part of Madalyn’s memories swirl. It made their head hurt but they couldn’t say anything else. They were tired after all.

Time passed and soon they learned more things. Like what the names on her arms meant. “They are your family. You left to help your aunt here as she was getting sick.”

“I wish I remembered.”

They tried to think back. They tried so hard to think back, but it only made their head hurt. It hurt so badly. It made them wish they could sleep and never wake up. They took deep breaths and imagined rain washing away their worries like Asra taught them to. It still hurts but less.

Soon they could walk and make food on their own. That’s when Asra began their adventures. They’d leave and Madalyn would sit at the door bleary-eyed. Asra was all they knew. Everyone else looked at them weirdly when Asra was gone. Sometimes people would whisper just loud enough that Maddi could hear the people call them an abomination. They liked the new people who would come and be nice to them. There was also a nice baker. They liked his pumpkin spice bread. They still felt lonely though. When the loneliness became too much they would walk to the forest and lay on the ground. The forest was quiet and did not say mean things about them or leave them for something better. Part of them also hoped they would find a familiar in these woods. Then they would never be alone. They closed their eyes and dreamed of what kind of familiar they would find.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Today Asra is coming home. Maddi bought the pumpkin spice bread and cleaned the whole shop that day. They were so happy. They knew Asra would sit with them and tell them all about the adventures in the great big world and they’d bring Maddi gifts from far-off places, but the best part is that they would be here for however short the time. They would be here and Maddi wouldn’t be lonely. They would wait however long it took to have Asra by their side.

The hours seemed to pass slowly and the bread became cold. Still, they sat and waited. They wouldn’t cry, not yet. Sometimes Asra can be a little slow but they always get here.

The sun began to set and the ache began. They ate the cold bread with tears in their eyes. Asra just got lost. They'll be here tomorrow.

They tell themself that over and over again, but the tears don’t seem to slow. They decided the shop was making them sad. They wandered off into the forest and curled up in a small clearing. Their head burned and their body shook. Even with all the independence they tried to build on their own, they wished Asra were here. Especially since Asra began their adventures. They were the only ones who tried to hide how weird Maddi made them feel.

“Who are you?”

The voice was cold and sounded vaguely like a goat. Of course, if goats could talk that is.

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Maddi sat up and wiped the tears from their eyes. “Who said that?”

A tall, translucent, and lanky goat-thing stomped into the clearing. His eyes were an intense crimson, and twisted horns sat atop his head. One of his arms seemed to be a stub. Maddi was transfixed by the creature. They had never seen anything like him; they had encountered many ghosts and spirits, but not one that looked like a goat-man. They stood and stepped closer to the creature. Their sorrow was burned away by curiosity. He stepped back and glared at them. “Who are you?”

Maddi smiles softly, trying not to seem like a threat. Not every day you get to commune with a spirit, and they weren’t about to lose this chance. “My name is Madalyn, but you can call me Maddi. What is yours?”

The creature tilted its head and circled slowly around Maddi. Finally, it huffed and said, “Lucio.”

He flashed a toothy grin as if he were famous. Sadly, before the last three years, there were no memories. He stared at them and said, “Count Lucio, the greatest count ever.”

They frowned as they tried to think hard about who he might be. “I’m sorry, I only remember the last three years. I don't know who you are.”

He frowned and sat on the grass. Maddi sat next to him. “After everything I did for Vesuvia. I mean, I’m the one and only Lucio. Not many people get to talk to me, you know.”

He can’t be dead. Ghosts don’t remember details like places and names. It might not be every day they can talk to still-trapped spirits, but it is a skill they have and they know that this just doesn’t happen. They reach up without thinking. You could almost feel the fur that covered him. He jerked back. Traces of something falling on his face. They stared down at their hand. You definitely can’t feel ghosts by any means. “You're not dead, are you?”

“Obviously not! Just that I made a mistake, it's nothing I can’t fix.”

“Are you sure? For a mistake to do this, you would need to mess up pretty badly. I happen to be a pretty strong spirit mage. I could help if you want.”

The creature huffed its red eyes, staring at some far-off place. “I don’t need help. I can do this.”

Maddi was confused. Most spirits were quick to accept their help, but then again, this spirit was different. He seemed more real and didn't seem to want her around. They weren’t going to risk overstaying their welcome. “As much as I would love to spend hours talking to you, I want to sleep. Good night. Should I come back tomorrow?”

He huffed again but didn’t disappear. That was close enough to a yes that Maddi was already making plans.

“Then tomorrow night it is Lucio.”

They were practically skipping as they left. Maybe they don't have to be so lonely all of the time. Besides this spirit could use some help.

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Maddi woke up early and got to work gathering supplies. When they saw Lucio again they were going to be helpful. This was going to be a Maddi thing. One of the first Maddi things to ever exist. They read books all day learning more about complex spirits. They noted how some people are made spirits for breaking magic deals. This along with some other things was sure to help them. Asra walked into the shop but Maddi was so deep into their studies they didn’t even notice. 

“Maddy.”

Their voice was smooth like a river soothing their tired mind. They closed the book and stood. “Asra I’m glad you’re home you had me worried.”

“What are you studying?”

Madalyn smiled. They liked it when people asked what they were doing. It made them feel important. “Oh, I’m reading up on complex spirits. I met one and I want to see if I can help it.”

“Maybe I could help.”

They say it so matter-of-factly that it makes Madalyn’s stomach churn. They don’t like to be rude or anything but Asra scares most spirits. They always say something is missing about Asra, besides this is a Maddi thing. Spirits and ghosts are their thing even if Asra thinks it’s  just a hobby while they study medical herbs. Which by the way  is so boring! Asra won’t even let them work with fire anymore saying they would be better at air magic when that is the one they’re the worst at. They breathed a sigh, “I want to focus on you. I’ll get some tea or we can go to the market for lunch. You can tell me all about your adventures.”

The more adventures he tells the less interesting it feels, but Asra is only home for a short time so making them feel good about their adventures is important. Maybe they could get Asra to stay around for three days if they’re lucky. 

The sun sets and they clean while Asra goes to rest after their journey. They are almost excited that the day is ending. They’ve already gathered everything they think they’ll need for the complex spirit. They cast a quick quieting spell to keep the door from squealing as it opened and they were off. Their steps pounded onto the pavement as they ran through the streets. Excitement falls off of them in warm waves. They passed the threshold of the trees. The forest seemed to respond to their excitement. 

They found the clearing and relaxed, pulling out a couple of books. The forest seemed to cool as if to warn them that an unfriendly spirit was near, but they sat not paying it any mind. “You came back?”

They didn’t even have to lift their head to know who it was. They just replied,“I said that I would but I can't help until I know everything about why you ended up like this.”

He huffed and sat on the grass. “ It was a lot. The main thing was this deal that the court magician Asra swore would give me a new body. They ended up stealing it for some dead girl.”

Maddi’s head began to burn but they pushed it back. Asra? Not my Asra, probably someone else. 

Somewhere deep in their bones, they knew it was their Asra. “Seems it didn’t work out for you entirely. Can I see your hand?”

He reached out his hand lazily Maddi placed their hand over his trying to feel out for the kind of magic that filled him. It felt like ash and blood. The longer they spent trying to understand the more it made them feel sick and broken. Deals! Lots of deals for one mortal. All of them except one were broken. Each one tied around him like chains. Trapping him trying to pull him to his death. They yanked their hands back. Their breaths became labored, the sickness clung to them like the smell of that one awful herb they use in their medicines. They collapsed to their knees and clutched their pounding head. “Are you alright?”

They cleared their mind and washed the bad feelings away but it didn’t help. They took an even deeper breath and tried again. This time they grounded theirself enough to not feel catatonic. “Lucio, what were you doing marking all those deals?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Power obviously. Why does anyone do anything if not for power?”

“And you didn’t do your side?”

“I got what I wanted and left, it's not a problem,” he said in a way that made them almost believe him. Then they thought about it for more than a second and remembered that magic deals are never that simple.

“That is not how magic works. Deals like the ones you made have a price. You pay it no matter what you do. You want to know why you're like this? It’s because you didn’t do your side of those deals. There is always… something.”

They were still struggling to breathe. It feels like those first months after waking up. The suffocating burning sensation over every inch of their body. Asra was there. They took care of me. They could do it again. 

They fell onto their back and stared up at the leaves of the trees. They were terrified and frozen in a moment they had prayed would never be again. How did this spirit know Asra? Why does this feel so familiar? “You said you knew Asra?”

“He worked for me for a while. Real pain in the a…”

They couldn’t hear the last part as a shockwave of heat covered them. Finally, the oppressive magic vanished as if it had been burned off. They sat up. “Do you know the name of the person Asra raised from the dead?”

“I’m pretty sure she had the same name as you. He used to obsessively talk about doing right by Maddy while doing research. All you magic types are weird.”

Maddi’s heart froze in place. Asra calls me Maddy.“When was this?”

“Time is weird in this form but I’m sure it’s been three years, possibly four.”

Again their hearts seemed to freeze up. Surely this creature is wrong, surely Asra would have told them if they were just some kind of resurrectee; right? They couldn’t bring themself to move, they should. They should run from this liar. Somehow deep in their bones, they knew. It left them numb. Then it made them cry quietly like they had done so many times before. Lucio looked down at them. “I have never seen someone cry so quietly. It's weird, do you plan on stopping soon?”

That for some reason made Maddi laugh. What was sadness became anger and indignation. Why didn’t he tell me?

It all started to make sense. the odd stares, the whispers, the longing looks from Asra. They laughed; powers, they didn’t know what else to do. They laughed and laughed. “ I know I’m funny but I think I missed the joke.”

They laughed until their whole body ached. They wanted to break something. They were so angry! Asra told them story after story of their people's beliefs. How important death is. Hypocrite! Were they even a person at this point? They didn’t remember who they were. They could feel in a way that they weren’t the same. So what were they? Who were they? They had no family and the name of a dead woman. Oh, Madalyn, no. How could they disrespect her death like that?

They were a replacement and not even a good one. Asra couldn’t even stand to stay with them. The laughing subsided. Lucio looked as if he were watching a cart crash. “I’m sorry I just have to find someone. I’ll talk to you tomorrow night. I think I have an idea. If we can just find something important to you I’ll be able to help.”

Lucio nodded, he looked like he wanted to say something but chose not to. Not that maddi cared. Their whole life was crumbling. They were struggling to pick up the pieces. Not that there were many pieces in the first place. Three years wasn’t much of a life by any stretch of the imagination. Though mostly they felt robbed of what could have been instead of what was. 

They walked and the trees felt like they were dipping their breaches down to maddi as a condolence. It wasn’t enough. Nothing was enough to stop Maddi from wondering if it was a lie. Maybe when they told Asra what happened they tell maddi that it was all a lie and that one day they would get more than just a basic understanding of the world. They would remember being part of it. 

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They walked home in a daze. Realization after realization striking them like rocks from the heavens. The more they thought about it the more it just made them feel disgusted. Their skin didn’t feel like it was theirs anymore. They were just some temporary owner. They walked into the shop tempted to burn everything. The whole place felt like chains to a past that didn’t exist for them.They placed their bag on the counter and noticed a note was left on it. 

“Went to the castle, the Countess had a weird dream. Stay safe. 

            ~love Asra”

Fire traced the edges of their entire body. The note turned to ash. They took a deep breath temporarily tempering the fire in their veins as they marched out of the shop. They made their way through the street and bumped into a woman. The two of them scowled at each other. “Watch your step.”

Her voice was like claps of thunder. Her spear was held tight in her hand. Maddi summoned a ball of fire. “And I would watch your tone.”

The woman laughed and walked off, it was condescending as if she were amused by a small child. Maddi sighed and continued to make their way to the castle. 

They made it to the castle gates just in time to see the woman with the spear demanding entry. Maddi couldn’t help but grin at the opportunity that had presented itself. They walked up to the guards with a soft smile on their lips. The guards nodded and opened the gate for Maddi as the woman scowled. Maddi turned back to the woman and grinned. This sent the woman over the edge as she started hurling obscenities as fast as any sailor. The guards attempted to restrain the crazed woman but she ended up running off into the distance.

They continued to make their way to find Asra. Portia walked past and Maddi called out to her. “Have you seen Asra?”

“Oh, I was just sent to retrieve you. I’ll take you there now.”

They walked into a well-decorated tea room. The Countess regarded her with a simple nod. Maddi couldn’t help but admire the long swathes of dark plum colored hair. Asra leaned back and cleared his throat, breaking Maddi’s quiet appreciation of the Countess. “You got here quickly.”

“I was already on the way.”

It sounded more bitter than they had intended it to but too late to take it back. “Anyways the countess was having odd dreams that her late husband was not dead. I know you dabble with sprites. Have any suspension.”

They narrowed their eyes. “No,” 

I know you dabble not like you're good at it or anything. It was when they said things like that made Maddi feel their humanity being stripped away. They are what Asra says they are. “Asra I came here to ask you a few questions.”

“I’m sure I can answer them quickly.”

“Did you respect death?”

Maddi leaned back against the wall. Waves of heat rolled off of their body. Asra got visibly uncomfortable. “Were you expecting me to be the same eventually and planned to never tell me the truth?”

“Madalyn, we can talk about this at the shop.”

Asra spoke to them as if they were some disrespectful child. Maddi was an adult as far as they could tell. Sure they didn't know or get to learn everything but they didn't deserve to be shut down like this. The Countess looked between the two of them. “I would like to know what is going on.”

Maddi’s eyes seemed to glow with fire. “Oh I was helping a spirit who revealed to me that I had died, but if I died, how am I here? You taught me how death was a part of life yet you did what you wanted when you wanted to with someone else’s life.”

“Maddy I couldn’t let you just…”

“Just what? I didn’t ask you to save me and even if I did I can’t even remember who I was so I might as well be a new person. Yet I have her name and you expected me to replace her. Worse of all, you left me. YOU MADE ME THEN LEFT WHEN IT DIDN'T WORK RIGHT!” 

They didn’t feel alone in their words. Like they weren't the only ones saying them. Maybe the real Madalyn was just as angry as they were. 

Asra stood and tried to calm them with magic. They weren’t having any of it and burned it away. “Maddy I was going to tell you but things happened.”

Maddi turned to the door. “Right, your adventures became more important.”

They began to march off. Asra wanted to follow them but The Countess stopped Asra. She wanted an explanation for what just happened. Not a good look when your head magician is possibly a necromancer. Necromancy in most places is illegal and seen as a violation of the dead’s body.

Maddi walked aimlessly through the castle till they found themself too tired to even know where they were. The last thing they noticed was the bark of dogs and blurs of dust. 

Chapter Text

They sat up in an unfamiliar room. The whole room was dusty and dark. Fine ash covered everything. They got up from the bed and shook the ash from their thick curls. They looked around the room, seemed lost and dead. All of it except a large painting that hung on the wall. The frame was golden, having a magic luster to it. The painting itself was very self-indulgent. A blonde man looked off into the distance with a sword and his foot over a skull. By any means, it wasn’t an ugly painting, but it felt fake, like an expensive copy of the real person.  Maddi chalked it up to probably how all portraits of this type looked. “I was handsome, wasn’t I?”

They turned to the familiar voice and found themselves face to face with the creature. “How did I get here?”

Lucio laughed, it was like the sharp bleating of a goat. Though maddi found it not grating but infectious. They were unable to hide the smile it brought. “You stumbled into here and passed out. I stuck around out of curiosity of course.”

They were not sure why Lucio felt the need to reassure them of that but Ok. They lit a ball of fire in their palm and threw it into the air. The ball lit the whole room while began to look around. They could imagine this room being opulent if the dust and ash would be cleaned. 

A bark sounded in the distance and before Maddi could react two large white dogs trampled them. They licked Maddi's face, their warm red eyes gleaming at her. “Hi, you two surprised me,” they petted the dog and kept talking to them, “yes you did Mercedes. You too, Melchior.” 

Maddi laughed as they circled and sniffed all over them. Lucio knelt and called them over. “Mercedes! Melchior!” 

The two dogs leapt over to Lucio. They ran laps around him, it almost made him look alive. He looked back up to Maddi. “They seem to know you.”

“I come to the castle often to see Portia, a friend of mine. These two seemed to have made a game of running me over. No matter where I am.”

They stood and wiped the dust from their pants. Mercedes and Melchior made a run at them. Maddi braced themselves to get knocked over, but Mercedes and Melchior ran past them. They dragged a charred and dusty chest. They pushed Maddi closer to the chest. Maddi knelt and opened the chest. Warm magic thrummed from the golden arm that laid in the chest. They had never seen anything so well crafted. They lifted it from the chest, studying it close. It was layered with powerful magic. Most notably a binding spell no doubt to keep the arm in place without straps. “There's my arm. I was wondering where it was.” 

“Do you want it back?”

“Obviously!”

Maddi pulled one of their books from their bag. They remembered there was a spell that would work. They found one that would work. ‘Binding souls’. Yeah there was no way they were binding their soul to a random spirit. They kept looking for another that would work. ‘Solidifying past’ using an object of Emotional value, a spirit can become the median of what they looked like with the object. That would actually be perfect. They couldn't imagine binding themselves to him. 

They walked closer to lucio and pressed the arm into place. This spell was a vocal spell. Maddi has a natural talent for spirit magic. Which only meant that they didn't have to get an object of high emotional importance. “Spirit, I speak to your past and call it forward bearing this gift of your past!”

Fire coiled around Maddi’s arms and the golden arm. They closed their eyes tight. When they opened their eyes they found themself looking at a very objectively attractive man. Lean muscles and sharp features. Deep crimson painted Maddi’s face. THE GOAT WAS SECRETLY AN ATTRACTIVE MAN?!? How does that even happen?

He was still seen through in the way most spirits were and his eyes still held that crimson hew but he was human. Mercedes and Melchior ran around him with revived energy. Lucio stepped past them towards a mirror. “You made me look like me!”

Maddi explained that it was a spell that looked like he did in the past and made him a tad more corporeal. He turned, admiring himself and unknowingly allowing Maddi to admire him also. “Do I have to pay you back for this?”

They laughed nervously, “you don't have to worry about that. I'm helping you because I want to. Not because I expect you to pay.”

 “If you come up with something, be sure to tell me. Such skills should be repaid.”

He took their hands. He said nothing but it felt like a thank you. Yeah there was no way that Maddi was going to tell him that actually it was a fairly low skill spell. Tiredness washed over Maddi and they yawned. He laughed, “you should get some rest i bet the spell tired you.”

Technically he's not wrong but honestly it was more about how long the day seemed to go on. maddi was invested now so they wanted a way to make sure they could keep helping him. “ Only if I get to keep helping you.”

He looked them over their brows knitting together almost. “Why do you want to help me?”

“You told me the truth about my existence. It's the least I could do for you.”

Lucio gave them the most charming smile their eyes had ever seen. They had to leave before they said something they regretted. They walked out of the room and realized they were still in the castle. How is this the castle. How did the staff let it fall into such disrepair? 

The drapes were worn and torn. It was run down and dark. Dust became the new paint of the walls. This was the Vasuvian castle. They had to summon a ball of light to even see down the hall. The only elegant and detailed things left were the webs of spiders.  

Chapter Text

Maddi lay in bed, wondering if they would ever feel human again. They traced the veins in their arms. They wondered if this made them broken. They wondered if any parts of them were missing. They wondered if they would know. Even when they didn't see anything directly wrong, they still couldn't help but hate their body. Everything was off as far as they were concerned. Their skin was too tan and their hands too thin. That's how they fell asleep, wishing their body would disappear and that they would be free.

 ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Maddi woke the next morning to a knock on the door. They headed down the stairs. They pushed the door open, and Asra took them into their arms. “Madalyn, I know this is a lot. I’m sorry I didn't tell you sooner.” 

They felt sick to their stomach. They didn't want to be a dead woman. It meant they weren't sure what they were, but they knew they weren’t Madalyn. They knew they could never be Madalyn. They pulled themself from Asra’s arms. They were covered in goosebumps; their fire dimmed in the cold light of the truth. “You made me…”

 “I didn't make you, I… made a deal. Not you.”

They tried to get Maddi to look at them, and Maddi did. Their eyes were red and puffy with more emotions than could be put properly into words. “Why am I here?”

“Because I love you.”

Maddi saw the way they seemed to look past them. They don't love me, they love her.

Their nails dug deep into the skin of their hands, and tears tumbled down their face. “I don't believe you… And I don't think you believe it either. I think you're never home because I'm not Madalyn.”

Their voice was barely a whisper. They wanted to scream and be angry, but it hurt. Everything hurts. They’ll leave, they always do. 

Asra lifted Maddi’s hands in theirs, carefully avoiding the thin trails of blood sliding down. “I do love you. Madalyn, please .”

They remembered asking Asra what it was like losing a person. The pain that doesn’t go away. Asra wasn’t dead, but Maddi felt that pain biting in the pit of their stomach. The pain brought back the fire. The burning that wouldn’t leave them alone. “ I’m not Madalyn .”

It was a plea. A plea for Asra to listen to them. A plea for Asra to recognize them. A plea to be seen as their own person. A plea that fell on ears blinded by their ambitions. “You’ll always be Madalyn to me.”

The pit in their stomach grew with realization. That is all they’ll ever be to anyone. A shell of a person long dead. Tears stumbled from their eyes as they froze there. No one was ever going to know them as not Madalyn. They shuddered and felt an overwhelming emptiness consume them. They wanted to rip their body to shreds. They hated it so much. They marched out of the shop. People stared at them. Oh, they hated people now more than ever. Everyone knew and said nothing. EVERYONE! Except Lucio, maybe he can help them. It’s only fair, right?

They marched to the clearing. Some of the forest hides from them. Other parts tried to cool, warning her of the danger ahead. Maddi was too focused to pay any mind to the odd reaction of the forest. They stopped just before the clearing. Brushing a quick healing spell over the crescent cuts in her palms, leaving small scars. Another imperfection to add to the list of things they hate about themselves. They looked up from their hands. Lucio lay in the grass looking up and the clear blue of the sky. A soft smile and sleepy eyes drew them in. 

They walked over, “Good morning.”

He smiled up at them like it was the most natural thing in the world. It almost made Maddi forget what happened earlier. The whole forest fell quiet. “Good morning, Madalyn.”

He tried to sound charming; they knew that. Nonetheless, the name still made them sick. They sat next to him in the grass, trying to ignore the gnawing numbness in the pit of their stomach. 

“So, Lucio, do you know who you made deals with?”

“Of course, just not sure how those deals are important.”

“Those deals are why you're trapped like a ghost thing.” 

Lucio’s face scrunched. He stood holding out his hand to Maddi. “If that's so, follow me.”

They took his hand and followed him. He led them through the woods into the city. Maddi had to keep pulling him into different alleys. “It's gonna take forever if you keep dragging me through all these alleys.”

“It's gonna take even longer if we have to push through a panicked crowd because, OH MY POWERS, COUNT LUCIO IS ALIVE!”

He looked off to the side and mumbled something Maddi couldn't hear. Not that they cared much. They had a mission, right now, it was the only thing distracting them, and they wouldn't let Lucio mess that up for them. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

He led Maddi to one of the courtiers' mansions. Everything was covered in thin white dust. The mansion looked like it was ancient. Even the grass lacked color. The courtiers were some of the richest in all of Vasuvia. Who in the world would let this place fall into disrepair? “Who did this to this poor house?”

“ Vlastomil …”

His voice dripped with disgust, and Maddi recognized the name, but not enough to put a face to it. They walked to the door and carefully knocked. They weren't sure what the courtiers had to do with his deals, but Maddi was ready to find out. Slick slithering sounds slid through the double doors. Maddi pulled their hand away, trying to hold back a gag. 

One of the doors pulled open. A tall, swindling, and sickly pale man towered over them, even with Lucio like a foot off the ground. Everything about him felt stretched and very much out of proportion. His voice yawned and stretched through every syllable. It made Maddi queasy. “What are you doing here?”

Maddi took a deep breath and tried to put on an almost sleazy smile. “I am Lucio’s magical representative, and I’m here to help him clear his debts.”

Either this courtier knew who he was indebted to, or was the person he was indebted to. Maddi wouldn't be surprised either way. Vlastomil raised a thin eyebrow and led the two of them inside. Lucio leaned over and whispered, “Really magic representative?”

“Oh, I'm sorry, what would you have had me say? Hi, I'm some random spirit mage we met in the woods, and out of the goodness of my heart, I've decided to help him.”

Last time Maddi whispered this aggressively, Asra took them to the theater, and they were trying to remind Asra they were 6 months late on rent. He looked ahead and huffed but didn't argue further. Maddi took that as him accepting their plan. 

They enter a room with see-through walls and worms of all kinds wiggling around inside. Maddi tried to keep their eyes away from the weird worm decor. They tried to steady their breathing despite the illness and rot that permeated the air. “The others will be here soon. Please sit. It is not often I have guests. I would have brought out some of my precious worms if I knew.” 

“Oh, how… fascinating.”

Vlastomil took Maddi, trying to be polite as the queue to start a 15-minute monologue about worm care and all the different kinds of worms there are. Maddi was sure he would go on for hours had it not been for the loud knock that made Lucio tensed next to them. Three figures walked in, each bringing a new sickness to the air. One was of green skin and a pointed tooth grin that made Maddi want to hide. The other was short and looked angrier than they had ever seen a person. The last one looked like a child with one pure white eye. Maddi tried to focus on Lucio's presence. As it is, the only one that doesn’t make them actively sick.“So you're going to do well on your deals, how… interesting.”

The green one's voice was like being thrown into an ice bath. The others snickered and cast judging glances at Lucio. He tried to shrink a little behind Maddi. Maddi had to take control of the situation. “ Yes, we are, though I wouldn’t call it interesting. A deal is a deal after all.”

“AND WHAT ARE YOU GETTING OUT OF IT!”

Why was she screaming ? Madalyn raised an eyebrow. “ What I get out of this is none of your business, but if you're so desperate to know, I’m sure we can arrange something.”

Maddi’s eyes seemed to burn like fire, and they reached out a hand as if offering a deal. Fire swirled around their wrist. They tried to match the courtiers' threatening energy. They recognized they had to. All of them grinned. The child-like one popped her head up from behind the angry one and said, “You can get me the heart of the forest he owes me?”

The heart of the forest was a spirit even seasoned spirit mages struggled to find. Maddi took a deep breath, “Yes, we’....”

“WE’LL SEE! WE’LL TALK IF YOU CAN DO THAT! HAHAHAHAHA!”

“I would much like to see where this one leads him,” said Vlastomil. 

 I just hope this isn't another empty promise,” the green one said as they brought their mask up over their face. 

Maddi narrowed their eyes. “Empty promises are not my line of work.”

“We’ll see.”

Maddi and Lucio left. When they reached the outside of the house, Lucio started to talk, “They respected you! You were awesome, of course, having me there helped.”

“It did.”

“I know it’s hard to believe, but… wait, what?”

Maddi laughed, “They’re all… uncomfortable, you were the only one who didn’t make me feel sick.”

He looked genuinely happy. The hubris surrounding him seemed to step back and let the feeling of being appreciated shine . He smiled brighter, “your welcome.”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

They headed back to the forest together, talking. Lucio would point out how things used to be, and Maddi would tell them how things were now. It was comfortable, but leave it to Maddi’s luck to run into the last person they wanted to see. “Madalyn! I was so worried after you ran out of the shop this morning.”

Asra pulled them into a tight embrace. Did they not hear a word I said this morning?

Tears stung Maddi’s eyes as they pushed Asra off of them.  “I told you already I’m not Madalyn. I’m…” Their words stumbled as tears fell down their cheeks. They looked around and noticed a pawn shop. Lian’s pawn shop, “I’m Lian. Madalyn died, Asra, and I’m sorry you thought I would replace her.”

The fire in their veins threatened to pour out and turn Asra into a crisp.   Lucio took it upon himself to do something. He already didn’t like Asra. Might as well help Maddi out and mess with Asra. He pulled out his dramatic flair and began to mock Asra. Lucio floated over Asra and mocked him as Asra tried to tell Lian that they were Madalyn and that they were just confused. 

Lian looked up at him and started to laugh, Lucio being goofy, and Asra thinking they could tell Lian they were confused and thinking it was gonna work. It was all too much, they couldn’t help but laugh. Asra stared at them, confused and concerned. Lian finally got a hold of themself for long enough to say, “It’s sad, Asra. You were so sure I would do anything for you when you couldn’t bear to stick around. Guess what, Madalyn may have stuck around, but Lian is done with you.”

 They turned on their heels and flipped the thick coils of their hair. Lian held their hands to their hips as they walked away. Lian slipped into an alley, all of their confidence and adrenaline disappearing all at once. 

“Did you see that? Ha! Asra was so sure you were going crazy, and you told them, Lian!”

Lian looked up at him, “You called me Lian?”

“I don’t see why I wouldn't. You said that’s your name.”

An odd giddiness flooded Lian. They weren’t expecting anyone to call them Lian. It felt like a tiny bit of confirmation that they were, in fact, their own person. Yep, Lian was going to be their name from now on, and no one was going to take that from them.

Chapter Text

Lian tried to get their magic to light the ground and help them. But their magic wasn't responding to them. They hated it. Lian took a deep breath and tried again. A small spark lit in their hand. “We've been walking for AGES . How much longer are we gonna wander around this stupid forest?”

The spark died. Lian took a deep breath, but the strain in their voice was obvious. “You're not even walking. I should be the one complaining, not you. Now, please shut up.” 

They found a large clearing and took a seat. They had been looking for what felt like forever, even though it had only been three hours. They dug their hands into the ground, trying to find a connection to the forest. It didn’t work. They were frustrated and tired. Still, their magic wasn't responding to them. They flopped back into the soft grass and stared up at the cloudy sky. It was going to rain soon. If they didn't find the heart soon, they'd have to… go back to the shop. “What are you getting out of this, Lian?”

They couldn't move. The thought of going back had them chains pulled close to the ground. “ I want to.”

It's all they could bring themselves to whisper. Lucio laughed, “People don't trudge through a forest right before a storm because they want to. Why are you really doing this?”

Lian sat up, tears stinging their eyes, “I'm not a person, and helping you helps me forget.”

Lucio didn't say anything for a while. Lian didn't blame him. What do you say when someone tells you something like that? “You seem like a person.”

“It doesn't matter, it's not like helping you is going to change anything.“

He took their hand in his gauntlet. “Maybe not, but you have to make others see you how you want to be seen. You have to make them see that. I want to be seen as Count again, and to do that, we are fixing my deals. What do you think you have to do to be seen as human?”

“I have to be my person, someone separate from Madalyn.”

“So what better way to be your person than going on a quest with none other than me!”

He lifted them from the ground and laughed as Lian freaked out. Something stung in their hand as they squealed, “Put me down!”

He set Lian down on their feet. The moment was melting and quiet. “I promise Lian, I'm gonna help you believe in yourself like you're helping me.” 

“And I promise to help you complete all these deals.”

He squeezed their hand, “Then it's a deal.”

“It's a deal.”

They looked at the thin cut on their hand and the tiniest amount of blood that seemed smudged. Everything around them began to spin. The air grew hot and suffocating. Feelings that didn't feel like their own swirled in the pit of their stomach. “ What did you do ?”

The heat pushed further into their body. Fire swirled around them. Lucio’s gauntlet still held tight to their arm. They looked at him. His eyes were squeezed shut. He didn't do this .

Obvious in hindsight, though not easy to come to when the weight of what feels like a continent is on you. They pushed themselves up and pulled their wrist free. A mark glowed on their hand. It reminded them of the mark on their chest. They traced the mark and watched as it turned dark and cemented into their palm. They lifted his other hand, and a matching dark mark rested on his palm. Their left hand, his right hand. Then it dawned on them. They could feel his hand in theirs. Not fully, but it was more than before. “Lucio.”

His eyes shot open, and he sat up. One of his eyes lost its intense red glow. In unison, they both pointed out the change in each other's eyes. Lian pulled the little mirror they were gifted. Lucio was right. One of their eyes was that bright crimson. Lian tried to think of what would do this to them. Ok, so we have matching symbols on our hands, and our eyes have changed. It also happened right after we agreed to work together. Wait noooooooooooo, “I'm so sorry, Lucio.”

He looked around and fidgeted with his cape. “What are you sorry for?”

“We're bound to each other. Our bodies, minds, everything.”

“How long?”

Lian stood and started pacing. “Until both sides are complete. I help you with the whole ghost thing, you help me find myself, I guess.”

He lay back in the grass. “I mean, there are worse things to be bound to. I don’t mind being bound to a pretty witch like you.”

Oh, Powers, what have I done? I'm bound to an idiot. I have to find myself. How do you even know when that's complete?

Chapter Text

The forest had cooled dramatically in contrast to the heat in Lian's cheeks. They wondered how on earth they let themselves get bound. They sighed and stood. “We have to find the heart.”

“Right.”

Lian pressed their hand to the ground. Their magic was back. No, not their magic; this magic was like ash. Lucio’s magic poured from their palm. They weren't even sure if this would work, but had to try. The forest tried to get away from the burning ash. The hot air made Lian dizzy. Lian grabbed Lucio's hand. “Lian, are your eyes supposed to glow?”

The forest froze as the two got yanked through the woods. Ash coated the air. Sharp turns made Lucio dizzy. Lian looked like they weren't even there anymore, and they whispered one thing: “Seek out the heart of the forest and take me like the winds take the sail of a ship.”

After getting dragged in every direction possible, they dropped in a clearing deep in the forest. Trees leaned close to them, and Lian collapsed to the ground. Blood dripped to the ground. He knelt and lifted their chin. A thick cut slid along their cheek. “What happened?”

“Seeker spell it’ll get you where you want to go, but there is no protection from getting hurt.”

“Why can't magic just be simple?” His thumb brushed over the cut, slowly healing it. He pulled back his hand. “Did I just…”

“We share magic now.” Lian stood carefully, finishing the healing.

Lucio grinned. He had always loved magic, but no matter how much power he asked for, he couldn't do anything like he had seen Asra and Lian do. “Why couldn't I do that before?”

“Some people’s magic is freer than others. While your magic is incredibly powerful, it’s also limited. My magic may be weaker in comparison, but it is more versatile.”

Lian was still healing cuts and bruises that covered their body. “Can I help you?”

Lian looked up with a slight tinge of pink painted on their cheeks. “Sure, I guess.”

Lian took off layers of fabric until they were left in a thin, tight fabric wrapped around their torso. Thick bruises covered their back. Blood dripped from cuts along their shoulder blades. “Ok, so how do I do this?”

Lian laughed, pressing his hand to a bruise on their side. “Imagine what it would look like if the spot was healed and let yourself heal it.”

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and listened. He felt the warmth of Lian’s magic pass through his hand, pulling on something in him. Something ashy and cold. When they lifted their hands together, the bruise was gone. Lucio smiled brightly and pressed his cold hand to a cut on their shoulder. The cold from his hands and his magic made them shiver. He grinned, taking the shiver as a sign that the magic was working. When he lifted his hand, the cut was gone. “I did it! I did magic!”

He looked like a kid, grinning and offering to heal the other spots. Lian had to take a deep breath each time his magic touched them. It was so cold, like a ceaseless blizzard. Maybe the ash was just from the deals. Maybe the cold was just his magic. A small, curious part of them wondered what it would feel like to be covered in their magic. It made Lian nervous; they had only ever felt Asra’s magic. The thought of feeling the magic of someone else was exhilarating.

Lucio studied his work and their torso. It was a lot having someone look at them so closely. Not even Asra studied them this closely. He traced the lettering of the names that traveled up their arms and over their shoulders, and they were sure the names went down their back, too.

“What are the names for?”

“My people have a spell put on them as a child so that when someone they were close to dies, the deceased’s name marks their body. I just don't know any of these names.”

Lian carefully layered back on the fabrics of their outfit. The wind whistles through the tree. Lian thought about the way everything turned upside down when they met Lucio, but for the first time, they were doing something of their own accord, and if they were able to be bound with someone, that meant that they had their own soul. It's not much, but maybe this proves they are their person. Lucio shook their shoulder, causing them to glare at him. “What?”

“Look,” He pointed up at the large deer spirit right in front of them. The air whistled harder like a song that followed the spirit. The spirit was elegant. Vines coiled around its legs, and flowers covered it. Whirls of glowing silver covered its body. Its antlers are like a crown atop its head. Vines connected the two antlers, which were also covered in flowers of every color.

Lucio’s voice shook as he asked, “Is that the heart?”

“I think so.”

“I wasn't expecting something so… magical.”

Neither was Lian, but they had to help Lucio. They… had to… kill it. The thought dawned on Lian that they weren't here to admire it or learn from it but to kill it. People kill beautiful animals all the time… this isn’t different. They repeated that over and over again. They both slowly stood to seem non-threatening to the creature and its tired eyes. It stood before us, its head held high. 'I have lived in this forest longer than the tribes of your mothers have existed. This isn’t how I fall.'

” Lian felt their words in their head. Ringing and not leaving. They looked over at Lucio, who had the same unsure look they had. Lucio reached out his hand to the spirit, but before they could do anything, Lian got picked up and thrown across the clearing. I'm going to die before I even get to really live. Shit.

Chapter Text

The rough bark of a tree met Lian’s back, knocking the air from them. They tried to stand, but the pain forced them back down. They were getting attacked, but by what and why? Does the forest have magic beasts defending it?

Adrenaline and magic burned through Lian, they wouldn't let anything happen to Lucio. They were not about to learn what happens when you break a soul bond like that. Lian stood to their feet, wiping the blood from their lip. Their magic was already working inside, trying to fix the broken parts. They looked up at the giant that had thrown them. Giant forest guardian, cool, I've got this.

Lian tried to get a good look at his face. He was also trying to avoid staring at his barely clothed torso, but thick mats of black covered his face. The only thing they could vaguely make out was a piercing green eye and a tight scowl. “Leave Madalyn.”

Who does this giant think he is, bossing me around?

Indignation burrowed itself in their chest. Flames lit the edges of their curls. The fire swallowed their fists. They straightened their backs and glared up at the man. “Do not call me the name of a dead woman. I am Lian.”

His eyes narrowed further as he took a lumbering step towards them. That's right, be disgusted. Madalyn is dead. 

They weren't sure how to use their magic to fight. Asra was all about outsmarting those around him, not fighting them. They were sure that offensive magic couldn't be that hard. They lifted their hands to get the fire to form a ball, then threw it and missed horribly scorching a nearby tree. “Next time it'll be you.”

They tried to sound confident, but throwing fireballs seems not to be on the list of skills they have. Lucio came up from behind and slashed the giant's back. The giant fell to his knees and grabbed Lucio. “Lian! Get the Heart, I’ll deal with this scourge.”

He continued to mock the giant as he slid from his grasp. One of the few times Lian was glad he wasn't physically there. Lian took a deep breath and ran after the Heart. Dodging tree branches that tried to reach out and stop them. The air was thick with magic. The forest is defending itself. 

Too bad the forest isn't the only one with access to magic. Lian threw their hands into the air and spun. “Shield of light saves me from the night.”

Light poured down their skin. It was tainted, gray, and ashen. Lian was still relying on Lucio’s magic. They knelt, pressing their hand into the soft earth. “Seek out the Heart of the forest and take me like the wind takes the sails.”

The air swirled, and the forest again pushed back. Their fire tried to push through, but the forest stopped hiding its intent. It was fighting back and was done playing games.  They pushed harder, ash and ice pouring out of them in nauseating waves. They lifted their free hand to their mouth as thick crimson poured from it. It wasn’t blood. It was too bright to be blood and coated their throat with the taste of ash. Everything was spinning, but Lian didn't move. They pushed again. The fire, ice, ash; everything changing, spinning, and sickening. They looked back and saw Lucio. Their eyes meet for just a moment before Lian gets ripped through the forest. 

The spell stopped just outside of the largest clearing Lian had seen in this forest. The shield shattered as they stepped into the clearing. The sun poured over them, its heat sticking to every inch of them. The brightness was burning their eyes. The smell of flowers became overpowering at that moment. ‘Is this truly your wish child? I comforted you in your time of loneliness, and still, you seek to kill me.’

Lian pressed their palms over their ears and screamed. “Get OUT OF MY HEAD!”

They didn’t want this, they didn’t want to be the one to do this. Why was it them? Tears poured from their eyes. “The least you could do, Child, is look me in the eyes.”

Lian lifted their head and straightened their spine, but nothing could hide the sickening fear pushing throughout their body. “You stand before me, my life in your hands, and yet you are the one filled with fear. Tell me, Child, how you beings do such contradicting things?” 

Lian froze as the spirit trod closer, bearing its chest to them. “Well, if I am to die, I would prefer to be killed by someone who would regret it.” 

The stomps of the giant match the drumming in their heart.“They are coming, child, this is still your choice. Where do your loyalties lie?”

This was the moment, but Lian couldn't move. They couldn't kill it. Cold, icy rain poured over them; it was summer, yet the cold still soaked them to the bone. “I am so sorry.”

“Say sorry when you can mean it, dear Child.”

Fire clung to Lian’s hand as they lifted it. The fire flicked weakly, as weak as Lian’s voice when they said, "I can't do this.”

“Then don't, Child.”

They heard Lucio call out their name. I can't let him down. He is the only one who sees me.  

They forced their hand into its chest, their tears and the rain mixing to the point that they couldn't tell the difference. They pulled out the heart of the Heart. The deer slumped and began to wither.” I have always loved you as if you grew from my roots. Maybe in another lifetime, you would love me too.”

Their vision clouded, and they swore they were holding the Heart. their hands were clean. They couldn't move. They killed the forest, and now their guilty conscience is torturing them. Silver painted their hands, glistening and dripping. The roar of the giant filled their ears, but they still couldn't bring themselves to move. They kept begging for forgiveness, but they had killed the only thing that could forgive them. They made their choice, and now it paints their hands. 

They got knocked into the air again, but they couldn't bring themself to care. This was what they deserved. In all honesty, they deserve to have died and never come back. If they had just stayed dead or had gone back to being dead, things would be alright again. They clung to the heart as they heard one last roar from Lucio and—then darkness.  

Chapter Text

They rolled onto their back with a groan. The sky was still pouring down on them, but the rain slid around them, like she wasn't even really there. The grass beneath them was colder. It was dead… everything was dead… because of them.

Tears slid down their cheeks. They killed a forest that had never been anything but kind to them. The realization had hit them and froze them to the core. At that moment, they understood a fundamental fact of the world. The world was far less fortunate than they were taught to believe, and worse, this is what they did with the freedom they fought so hard to have. They made the choice, but the Heart gave its heart to them anyway. This isn’t on them. This isn’t their fault. It can't be their fault. If it's their fault, what does it make them?

Lian opened their eyes to find Lucio pacing beside them, a sparkling shield wrapped around them. Did I do this?

 They lifted their trembling hand, and the force field rippled before shattering into thousands of magical little embers. Lucio got hit by some of the sparkles and turned to them. A deep sigh left him as he knelt next to them. “Thank the powers, I had no idea how I was gonna get that heart with that magic shield bubble thing.”

He laughed at his comment but took their hands into his. The silver had hardened into their skin, but he didn't flinch. He simply held them. It was enough to make the butterflies in Lian’s stomach go wild. “At least you have the heart now.”

“Yeah…” 

Their voice was weak and painful. This was the first time they had killed anything bigger than a bug. They always thought death like this would be a necessity, only happening when it absolutely had to. But this was optional. It was scary how much they knew they would do it over and over again… for him. They blamed the soul bond, but what part of Lucio would cause this? They sat up, leaning against the tree. The boiling fizz of magic crept through their bodies. It was a terrible sound. It sounded like flesh boiling and melting. They wanted it to stop. Magic like this was for emergency use. Lian must have almost died, if their body was forcing healings like this. “Who was that giant? He almost killed me twice.”

Lucio stiffened slightly. “Probably some forest hermit being protective of his woods,” he paused and looked at them wide-eyed, “What do you mean you almost died? Twice!”

“Don't you hear the fizzing my body is forcing high-level healing spells to keep me alive? I shouldn't even be conscious.”

He quieted, listening to the gross fizzing happening across their body. His face scrunched, and he said, “You’re alive. You did what had to be done. That’s what matters. You’re strong enough to survive it, so why not use that strength? That’s what winning is about.”

They took his gauntlet in their hand, “right. We won.”

He didn't care. The forest was dead, and all he saw was victory. One less problem. They wanted to say something, but a slow metallic clap filters through the trees. “I’VE GOT TO SAY THAT WAS ALMOST IMPRESSIVE! YOU COULD LEARN FROM THIS ONE!”

Rage personified and the little child atop their head walked out from behind the trees. The small child hopped off and ran over to Lian. “I’m sooo hungry. Give me the heart.”

Lian handed her the heart and felt a gag rise in her throat as she watched Volta swallow the heart whole. Silvery blood dripped down the side of her chin as she frowned.  The symbol of the entire forest, eaten in one bite. No respect, no honor, just unadulterated consumption. They got thrown around and killed an entire forest to feed this small person. They hated it, no matter how sad Volta looked. “REMEMBER MY WARRIOR’S HEART, LUCIO! IT LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT GET WHAT WE WANT AFTER ALL, RIGHT VOLTA! HAHAHA!”

Lucio said, “Of course, Volgora expects nothing less.”

He didn’t even flinch. Not at the fizzing, not at the forest, and not at the way Volta treated something sacred. Just smiled like this was the plan all along.

Volta nodded her head solemnly. “Still hungry, Volgora.”

She walked back to Volgora, and they both disappeared. A wave of that ashy magic washed over Lucio and Lian. The tingling of the magic brushed over them, leaving Lian feeling slightly stronger. They looked over to Lucio, who was back to looking like a goat. They stepped forward, wondering if somehow their magic had gotten washed away. Their hand ran through the soft fur of his arm. First of many deals completed.

“You’re real…” They studied his face more closely, “ A goatman… but you are real.”

He looked down at his claw. A frown formed on his face. A look that Lian recognized when they would look at themself for too long. “Could you still make me look like me?”

They smiled and said, “If you want to, I haven't done illusions like that before.”

They closed their eyes and imagined him. The eyeliner and every sharp feature. The infuriating cocky grin he has from just existing. The image solidified in their mind, and they reached their hand out and rested it on his cheek. The moment was odd to them. They were completely at ease, being so close that they could feel his breath. By all definitions, Lucio was a monster, but Lian didn't see that. They see the arrogant cocky and annoyingly attractive Lucio. They opened their eyes. There he was, their hand on his cheek. That same cocky grin. “Did it work?”

They didn’t know how to speak; they didn’t expect it to work with such accuracy. Asra always said illusions took a lot of work. Have I been thinking of him that much?

They pulled their hand back and nodded. Their head felt like it was fizzing, everything felt like it was fizzling. 

 “It must have. Only a person as stunning as I could leave someone so speechless,” he teased. 

They slid down till they were back to lying on the grass. Their magic sucked the life of the grass beneath them. Lian could feel the grass dying under them. Still, the fizzing continued. “Don't go passing out on me, ok?”

“It's fine, I'm… just tired.“

He sat next to them and asked, “What do we do next?”

He lifted them to where they were resting on him. Their head was still swimming. “We need to find this warrior heart Volgora wanted.”

“It’s a ways away from here.”

“If only I had seen this thing we have to find. Or had like really good trackers with us.”

He grinned, “What about two hunting dogs?”

Is he really suggesting what I think he is suggesting? 

Lian raised an eyebrow and asked, “You want to dog-nap Mercedes and Melchior?”

His grin got even bigger.“I want to dog-nap Mercedes and Melchior.”

They sighed, “Can we at least rest till tonight? I still can feel most of my bones, and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“Yeah, of course it’s good to rest after a battle.” 

They laughed softly. “And you know this from experience?”

Lucio stood and flexed his muscles. “Oh, the stories I could tell you. You wouldn't believe half of them. The battles I've won are more than you can count.”

They couldn’t help but smile. Part of them was jealous; they wished they had interesting stories about their life like Asra or Lucio. Lian would be just as interesting as they are if Lian had stories. They sighed; they probably had to listen to the stories to get him to stay. “Why don’t you tell me then? Oh, mighty man of conquest.”

He lay on the ground next to them, telling them of all of his fierce battles, and Lian just listened. It was easy to listen; it's all they were used to, but at least they had the comfort of knowing that these stories meant that Lucio wasn't going to leave. He was gonna stay, and Lian wouldn't be lonely.

Chapter Text

The cool of the evening coiled its fingers around the forest. Lian woke from the strange cold. A cold Lian had never been seen in the forest, even at night. They scooted closer to the only source of warmth in the whole forest. The warmth moved. Wait, what is that? 

 Lian sat up and looked down. Oh no. 

Lian put a little space between themselves and Lucio. They felt three days was a little soon to be getting so close, though they already missed his warmth. He looked simpler when he was sleeping. Less like everything he did had to be some kind of impressive event. Part of them wondered if Lucio had ever fully let his façade down when he was awake. They wondered if they’d ever get to see that side when he isn't asleep. What made you so hidden? Will I ever learn?

Lian quickly averted their eyes, reminding themselves that staring wasn't polite. It was odd to them. They didn't feel the need to wake him like they did with Asra. They didn't feel alone. Lian didn't feel like something was missing. They liked the quiet for once and knew that it didn't have to last long. After all, they were with Lucio, the ball of self-absorbed energy. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

A cold chill went through the room. Lian woke from the cold but found no warmth. Asra left while they were sleeping, again. They’d known he would, but they hated it every time. They got up and made a pot of tea. Just once, they wished they’d wake up first, force him to say goodbye properly. Just once, they wished Asra would stay long enough to say it at all. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lian stopped that memory in its tracks. It happened too often for them to dwell on it now. They decided the quiet was becoming too loud and gently woke Lucio. He rolled away from them and groaned, “I don't wanna.”

“I’m not getting Mercedes and Melchior alone.”

He shot up, “I almost forgot! Listen, I know the fastest way there, trust me.”

He stood lifting Lian with him.  He led Lian through the forest. Everything looked dead around them, but Lian tried not to focus on that. Rather focused on the brightest person they had ever seen. Lucio was like the sun. Bright and warm. Lian felt they could simply follow that light and warmth, no matter where it led, and be happy. They knew the forest would never welcome them again, but it was fine; they didn't need a forest, they had the sun now.

Lucio continued to lead with well-practiced confidence. Sparing no details on how he became the count of the city. They liked listening to Lucio’s stories. He brought them to life like he wanted Lian to be there. He had done more to make Lian a part of his life in three days than Asra had in three years.

They reached a trap door in the ground. With a dramatic flourish, Lucio opened the trap door to the darkest pit they had ever seen. They lit their hand and went down into the pit. Lucio followed after. They took Lucio’s hand without thinking as he continued to lead them through the tunnels.  Fire danced on their hand. Lucio kept glancing back at the fire with a curious gaze. “Does it burn?”

They stopped and stared at the fire covering their hand. The fire had never burned them before,  somehow, they knew it never would. They felt most at home in the fire. The way it swayed reminded them of something. Something that had happened before they could remember. The fire crept up and over their shoulder. “Lian!”

Someone was calling them, but the fire was so pretty. Till something hit them, snapping them out of their trance. The fire went back into their hand. They looked up at Lucio. His brows were furrowed. Is he upset or worried? 

“Are you ok?” he rubbed the spot they got hit at, “Sorry about hitting you, but the fire started… eating you?”

Lian laughed. It wasn’t warm, it was forced, almost pensive. “Right, it wasn’t eating me,” they paused, “actually, I'm not sure what it was doing.”

“How does that not burn. You wouldn't even respond.”

“I'm sorry, I really don't know what happened there. But to answer your question, I just never really thought about it. It’s always felt like a part of me. Like it made me somehow. Though I guess that's how every magician feels towards their natural element.”

Lucio looked ahead with the same stretched smile he wore when he felt nervous, but he didn't say a word. Instead, he continued to lead them deeper into the tunnels. As they walked, Lian noticed that some parts of the tunnels felt new, while others seemed older than anything they could imagine. Still, Lucio guided them through with ease, showing no doubt in his steps, just steady confidence.

He led them to a long rope ladder that he swore by, but Lian wouldn't trust it to carry a feather, let alone both of them. Before they could put out their objections, he was halfway up the rope. 

They sucked in a deep breath and whispered, “make me lighter than air and carry me in midair.”

they hated this spell and it made them dizzy. Asra insisted they should learn it. Something about it being their favorite spell. Lian wasn't sure what they had ever done to make Asra think that. 

Lucio looked down. “ Where did you go?”

Lian tapped his shoulder. Lucio quickly covers his mouth with his hand to stop himself from screaming. “You can fly?”

“Fly, no. Float, yes.” 

“That is awesome.”

For the first time since learning that stupid spell, Lian felt proud of it. He unlocked the hatch on the floor of his room and let out a high-pitched whistle. Barks sounded in the distance, followed by several screams. Lian could promise they heard Portia trying to stop the dogs from running. They watched as Mercedes and Melchior ran up to the door. He climbed down as Lian floated down with the dogs. They looked back up and closed the door with magic. Footsteps pounded overhead like wordless warnings.

The sharp voice of a woman filled the air, “he is near! I can sense him. Come out, Montag! We can end this quickly!”

Lian recognized that voice, and it seemed Lucio did too. He grabbed their arm, his gauntlets digging into their skin, and ran. Mercedes and Melchior are scrambling and stumbling to keep up. The creaking of the large trap door began like the call of death. Dread washed over Lian. Their feet could not move fast enough, and their breath couldn't fill their lungs enough. It was up to them to get everyone out of this. This was why they were here in the first place: to help. They pulled Lucio to a stop. He turned and whispered, “ We have to go .”

“We are.”

Lian stretched their hand towards the ground. “Take me home.”

The world around them slowed. They pulled Lucio close and closed their eyes. Asra’s voice filled their heads. ‘ Just take a deep breath and imagine where you want to go.’

‘But why would I leave? This is my home.’

‘You never know, besides, it’s good to know if you ever get lost. Home is never far from you.’

Tears stung their eyes as the memories flooded every corner of their mind. Asra’s voice coiled around their mind. Playing over and over again. They wanted to find comfort in it, but it choked them. It drowned out everything the way it did in the past. But now there was no comfort in it. It became all they could hear. All they could see. Asra became everything again. 

Something landed hard on their back and snapped them out of their trance. Not fully, but enough to realize it wasn't real. 

That wasnt how the spell was supposed to go. Normally, the landing would be gentle. A pained groan left Lian as they rolled off of whatever they had landed on. The cool wood floor pressed against their heated skin. They hated how the heat clung to every inch of their skin. The floor couldn't cool them, and neither would the air. Sound couldn't push past the pounding of their heart. 

 Mercedes began to lick their face, grounding them just enough that they could move a little. They lifted their hand to their nose. Blood thick and warm. 

At Least everyone is safe. 

They took a deep breath and closed their eyes. The exhaustion won. They need real rest, not sort-of rest.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“You're pushing yourself too much, Madalyn.”

Exhaustion pushed through them, but they stood like nothing was wrong. “How do you know, master?”

Asra flinched and said, “Because you're bleeding. If your magic is causing you to bleed, you're pushing too hard.”

They grabbed a towel and pressed it to Lian’s nose. Lian felt sick. They should be able to do all these spells no problem. Asra said these were spells I used to do all the time. Why are they so difficult for me now?  

They wanted to scream, but nothing happened. Except for the fire swallowing their body whole. Asra pressed their hand through the flames. Their hand covered the mark on Lian’s chest, then the world went black. 

“You'll come back to me someday, Madalyn. I know it.”

Chapter Text

Lian pulled him to a stop. Lucio panicked and tried to pull them along. “We have to go.”

Lian’s eyes already began to hollow as they reached their hand towards the ground. Fear vanished, replaced by burning resolve. Fire spilled from Lian’s hand like it had a will of its own. Lian pulled him close. Under normal circumstances, this would be the perfect time for a flirty quip, but being dropped through a portal didn't leave room for that. Bright swirls of amber and crimson crashed and mixed. The colors stung his eyes and invaded his mind. Something about this place made him feel alone. He swore he could see his mother. He looked at Lian. Their eyes were open, and tears poured down their face. “Hey, what is this place?”

Lian didn't respond and let go of him. The colors reached out and coiled around them. Lucio pulled them back as Mercedes and Melchior growled at the colors. A hole opened beneath them. The colors poured into the hole, pulling the group down to the other side. 

Lian landed on top of him, and Mercedes and Melchior landed on top of Lian. He bit back a pained scream with a hiss. Lian rolled off of him with a soft thud. Mercedes began to lick their face. He breathed a sigh of relief. He still couldn't believe Lian got them out of that. “That was amazing; you are the best magician!”

He looked over at them. They made eye contact before Lian took a deep breath and closed their eyes. Melchior whimpered and nudged Lian. Thick blood poured from their nose. Mercedes pulled Lucio closer. “Calm down, girl. What am I supposed to do?”

He pressed his hand to her forehead and quickly pulled back. Burning to the touch with some kind of fever. They needed something cool. He looked around. The room was covered in fabrics and trinkets. Every color seemed brighter than the last. He noticed a painting on the wall. He stood and examined the painting. It depicted Lian and Asra. Everything was done in gentle pastels, making it stand out from the over-saturated nature of the rest of the room. The painting felt too soft. It clashes with everything. It was Lian—but not really. Too still. Too quiet. It was as if the painting tried to soften the fire within Lian. The more he looked around, the more he noticed things that seemed to belong to Asra, not Lian. Where are we ?

“Mercedes Melchior, you wanna keep looking around with me? Lian will probably be fine.”

Melchior stopped pacing and looked him in the eyes, bared his teeth, and turned, still pacing around and guarding Lian. Mercedes lifted her head from Lian's lap, looked at him, then went back to resting her head. He's never seen Mercedes so gentle with anyone. He was sure it wasn’t that big a deal. Mercedes could probably just tell that they are sick.  

He went down the stairs and found himself in a shop filled with all kinds of odd things. The walls were littered with Herbs and glowing vials. The shelves had jars of glittering magic and marmalade? Somehow, the marmalade felt out of place. A sign painted with gentle blue hues and hung over the counter read. “Naza and maddi’s shop of magic.” 

He caught a glimpse of a mirror. Of course, he had to make sure he was still handsome. His reflection showed his goat form, bound in chains coiled tightly around his arms, legs, and throat. They were colored in sickly greys and deep bloody crimsons. The chains weren’t there . He told himself. But he felt them, deep in his bones. The plaque under the mirror said it was the truth mirror. But he refused to accept what he saw. His mother's voice rang in his head. “ Run, Montag. ”

He did, into an alcove covered in the same bright fabrics as the room upstairs. Three cards sat faced up at him. He recognized them from Asra when Asra worked for him. Their names linger like a forgotten memory: The Devil, The Tower, and Death. The cards didn’t move, but they whispered anyway. 

Fate

Fate 

Fate 

The word rang mercilessly in his head. Candles around the room went out in unison. He had to get out. He ran back up the stairs, his breath rushed. 

Mercedes and Melchior looked up in unison. Lucio put on a brave face and gave them both pets. “Lian’s still out? Oh well, guess we stay till she wakes.”He'd have already run from this awful place if he weren't bound to Lian. He couldn't wait to escape this place; it felt like it was out to get him. He sat next to Lian, taking deep breaths and gently lifting his hand to his neck, trying to discern if what he saw in the mirror was real. Of course, he knew it wasn't. Everything was fine. It had to be. Because if it wasn’t... He stopped that train of thought. Lucio had a powerful magician working with him and had already completed one of those pesky deals. Everything was moving exactly as it should.  He was going to fix this and get his throne back. He looked over at Lian. They were his key. After all, real strength comes from how you use those around you, and Lian was proving to be quite useful. He didn't notice, but Lian shifted ever so slightly closer.

Chapter Text

Lian opened their eyes. They were standing in a void. Thick darkness seemed to close in around them and be endless simultaneously. The heart of the forest trotted from the darkness. The darkness slid off of it like fabric. It had a hole in its chest. Silver poured from the hole, and the flowers that once adorned its body now were sickly browns and blacks.  

“Hello, Child.”

“I killed you. How are you still in my head?”

The spirit shook its head, wilted petals falling and getting swallowed in the darkness. “My blood covers your hands, and I believe you will do right by me one day. As long as you see the silver, I will know there is good in you.”

It trotted off back into the darkness. Lian followed the spirit. “Wait! You can't just vanish! What do you mean by ‘do right by you’?”

The spirit turned a single black tear rolling down its face, “You are still my own. I will allow you to see what you have set in motion.” 

The tears fell and splashed into the darkness. The ground rippled and became like black water, pulling Lian under. They screamed and tried to swim out of it. The forest just watched as they sank farther and farther into the ink. 

A bright teal thread coiled around their chest, gently pressing to the hidden mark beneath their shirt. It connected to the mark and felt like water. They tried to burn it off, but their fire was smothered by the silver that painted their hands. The thread pulled them. They cried and begged for someone to save them. Ink filled their lungs and silenced them—a quiet, suffocating silence. A pool of light opened beneath them. The thread tugged harder and pulled them through. 

They landed hard on a chair. They opened their eyes, slowly praying not to be tortured anymore. The Countess waved off Portia and pinched the bridge of her nose. Asra’s eyes were wide, his posture rigid. “I know your visions are rarely wrong, but might this be one of those times? Madalyn would never work with the Devil. I've taught them better than that.”

“I appreciate your input, Asra, but I fear this vision has been too persistent for me to believe it is not so. So I will ask this of you only once. Don't question me.”

He looked at the floor. Lian narrowed their eyes. “Taught me better, what do you mean, taught me better. You were never around long enough to teach me anything!”

He did not move. He didn't hear them. Though they doubted it would change anything if Asra could hear Lian. They would simply deny what Lian was saying. 

One of the outer palace guards marched in and announced, “Countess, an angry southern woman claims to be the late count’s mother and is threatening the lives of the other guards.”

The countess took a long sip of her wine and told the guard to bring her in. Asra looked up, but the countess silenced any possible questions with a simple look. 

Lian recognized the woman. The woman from the streets, the voice from the trapdoor. The reason Lian is being put through this in the first place. Her thick grey hair was slicked down with sweat. She was dressed for the dead of winter, layers of furs and skins made up her outfit. She was wearing all of that in the middle of a Vesuvian summer. The woman marched over to a painting on the wall and asked, “Is that supposed to be me?”

Her face scrunched in a way that reminded Lian of Lucio. The countess grinned like she knew what was going to happen. “Lucio had that painting commissioned in your honor.”

“Is that what my son is calling himself? Tch, leave it to Montag to change the name of a warrior to something so stupid.”

She marched over to the painting and made quick work of slicing the painting into pieces before throwing it down. Lian narrowed their eyes, “like mother, like son. A tad bit of a dramatic way to show you don't like a painting that's supposed to be a gift.”

The woman looked over in Lian’s direction, her voice sharp, “I will make this short: my son lives and has a powerful witch helping him. I do not need your help, but this place is filled with the weakest kind, so you will do well to prepare.”

The countess cast a knowing glance at Asra. Asra rolled a piece of their scarf between their fingers. “How do you know?”

“I sensed him and the witch in the woods before they killed it. Not even the man who stole my people's name could stop them. Scourge? Tch, more like weakness.”

Asra’s face paled. “I'm sorry, Countess, I have to go.”

The countess tried to tell them to stop. Asra didn't listen. They reached their hand into the air. Water condensed and swirled in the air, then poured over him and Lian. Both of them were pulled into the forest. Asra ran through the trees, calling out for someone named Muriel and Inanna. Lian struggled to keep up, still feeling the burning of the magic burnout even in this incorporeal form. 

A large wolf ran towards them, almost towering over the two of them. Asra reached out and petted the wolf’s thick black coat, “Ianna! What happened?”

Inanna just ran fast, stopping now and then to wait for Asra to catch up. Lian was getting sick of chasing after a person they wished they'd never have to see again. They entered a clearing Lian recognized all too well. The grass was still damp. Lian realized this was a vision of the past. This already happened. The giant sat in the middle of the clearing. As the two got closer, Lian saw what he was holding. The Heart had already mostly rotted. Asra’s voice was smooth and gentle as they knelt in front of him. “Muriel…”

Lian could still see the shimmering of the bubble that held their unconscious body. They were so close. 

“This is all your fault,” Muriel mumbled as he met Asra’s gaze. Asra flinched not without reason. Muriel’s green eyes had dulled with pain and tears. Seeing the way he looked and spoke broke a small part of Lian. They knelt and brushed their hand over the Heart. The part they had touched rotted even faster. Another reminder that they had caused this. For the first time, they let it break them. Tears poured from their eyes as Lian’s screams fell on deaf ears. “I’M RIGHT THERE! Please… don't let me get away with this.”

Lian knew better; they had already gotten away with it. It was too late again. 

Asra asked, “What happened, Muriel?”

“Lucio…”

“Was there someone helping him?”

Muriel stayed quiet. Lian wiped their tears. “Come on! I'm right there! Tell them it was me! Tell them!”

Muriel looked up as if he could see them for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m not sure; I was busy with Lucio.”

Lian stood with a deep sickness rooting itself in their stomach. They glared down at Muriel, “Lying to them won't change what I did. You're defending a killer!” 

Muriel just stared at them. It was like they were being seen. Still, he said nothing. He ignored them. 

 “You have to tell the countess.”

Muriel just clung tighter to the dead creature. “They won’t believe me. They’ll forget; they always forget.”

“I won’t let them. Please, Muri, I think that Maddy is in trouble.”

Muriel looked away from them almost enough to see the bubble. Maybe he did but still chose to be silent. It made Lian so mad. Lian didn't need this stranger protecting them. They can fight their own battles. They paced as Muriel whispered, “Fine.”

Muriel stood, revealing several wounds across his chest and abdomen. Asra stepped closer and tried to heal the wound. The magic turned to steam. Lian reached out and burned off whatever magic was blocking the healing. Asra watched the small flames dance over Muriel's wounds. They narrowed their eyes, "Fire?"

 For a moment, it felt like both Muriel and Asra could see them. But Lian was focused on Muriel and said, “This makes us even, Muriel. You don't get to act like I owe you anything.”

A string coiled around their wrist. It looked like it was made of snow dipped in blood. It slid down from their wrist to the mark on their hand. Burning the silver away and merging itself into the mark. The familiar pit of light opened beneath them. “No!”

They screamed as they were pulled under. The ink filled their lungs, and the darkness clouded their vision. It burned as they gagged and swallowed and struggled against the string. 

They broke the surface, and the water became solid. They coughed and sputtered out the thick ink. 

“Dear child, if you are so loyal to Lucio, why do you help those who seek to stop him?”

They looked up, spitting out what was left of the ink. Their laugh was short and bitter. “I owed him.”

“And I mean nothing to you? I was with you in your darkest hour, and you still killed me. Did you not owe me more than you owed him?”

They stood and looked at the Heart. Tears stung their eyes. “I didn't want to kill you. Besides, you said they're against Lucio. Someone has to protect him, right?”

“And who will protect you?”

They didn't answer. They knew no one would—not really, of course, unless they were useful. They began to sink, but they didn't fight it anymore; it was easier to just drown. They swallowed the ache and steadied their breath.

After all, real safety only comes from people needing you. And Lian was still useful.

Chapter Text

Lian slowly opened their eyes, expecting to find themself in another vision of a past that wasn't theirs. They were wrapped in comfort, the air still thick with herbs. A soft breath left them… left them as tears slid down. They couldn't believe they didn't wake up alone. They wanted the warmth to stay forever. 

They sat up and looked around. They were home in their own bed. Mercedes was curled next to them, and Lucio must have fallen asleep while watching over them. He was leaning up against the wall. Something in their heart squeezed. He was obviously forced to stay; he was tethered to them. But it was nice pretending someone just stayed. No matter how fanciful the thought. 

They slowly got out of their bed. Lucio did not look comfortable, unlike in the forest; he looked guarded, even in his sleep. Lian knelt, slightly mesmerized by him. Lian had seen sharp features on people, but Lucio was all sharp features and somehow was still beautiful. Lian looked at their hands, silver flashed on their hands, then sank in. The silver seemed to be just beneath their skin. Sickness bubbled up in their throat. Their body made them sick. It was covered in reminders of the dead. There was nothing beautiful to be found in a corpse. They tried to force their breath. They looked back at Lucio and brought their knees to their chest. If nothing else, he was a distraction. A really pretty distraction. Lian reached out tentatively. They weren't sure what they were doing. Maybe to prove he wouldn't wilt like the heart, maybe to prove this isn't a cruel illusion. Maybe, just maybe, they could be close to someone without them disappearing.  

Lucio’s eyes fluttered open, and he just looked at them. They both stared at each other like neither could quite believe the other was real. Lucio's smile turned to a grin, and He lifted their hand to his lips. He said, “Enjoying the view, Lian? I don't blame you. Waking up and getting to see the powers' most beautiful creation is quite the privilege.”

They could feel warmth spreading across their face. The idea of admitting why they were staring was too embarrassing for them to handle. So they forced a sharp breath and carefully stood. Lucio’s sharp laugh filled the air. He stood still holding their hand. “You know, there is nothing wrong with admitting when you see something beautiful. I have always loved being admired, especially by someone almost as beautiful as me.”

Something in them shifted off kilter when he grinned. They hated how much everything reacted to his half compliment. Even worse, they didn't like how this could all be pulled back to the fact that they are bonded to each other. Lian pulled their hand back and went over to Asra’s desk, which was more of a disheveled pile than a desk. “We should plan our next move.”

He had more papers and scrolls than seemed necessary. Most were rune drafts, others were magic texts. Still, they were going to unfold every piece of parchment if they had to. Lucio wandered over and started helping rummage through it all. Lian found one that was tattered on the edges and browned with age. This has to be a map. They carefully unfolded the paper and revealed a letter. Why was a random letter kept hidden? 

‘ To my dearest Asra,

What I am going to say will come as a shock to us both, but illness brings clarity. You were right, there was no way to know if I would survive this plague. Odd isn’t it. I want you to at least know it wasn’t arrogance of the heart that kept me here. I did do all I could to help the city, but in the end, it has left me dying. I no longer stay at the shop. The guards check the city daily for the dead or the close to dead. I fear that if I stay in the city, they will decide I am close enough to death. 

I say all of this in the hopes you will listen to my next request. I wish you were here. I feel that soon I am to go into the hands of my ancestors. I am dying, and this might be the last letter I write. I understand if fear keeps you from me, but even a letter would be better than the silence you’ve so graciously provided. I am ready to pass on, but please don't let them burn away my history and my body. 

Yours hopefully, 

Madalyn’

“What did you find, Lian?”

Lian shook slightly. Sickness coiled around their stomach. Tears poured from their eyes as they fell to their knees and dropped the letter. They wished they hadn't read the letter. They didn't want to know that Madalyn never asked to come back. Because if Madalyn never wanted to return, then what was Lian but the shadow of a mistake? Every desperate hope that this is what Madalyn wanted. It just went wrong, burned, and Lian was left in the cold ashes. They just wanted a map, not to find out that Maddalyn had been perfectly fine with passing. He did what he wanted. He didn't care; he wanted to remedy his own selfish guilt. 

Lian snatched the letter from Lucio's grasp and balled the letter in their hands. They screamed like it would make the pain go away. Flames covered their body, swallowing the letter. Lucio knelt, “Lian, look at me! That letter changes nothing. You are still Lian. Don't let him win.”

Lian had had enough of learning things they didn't want to know. They only wished to go back to when things were simple. They were lonely then, but at least everything wasn't so complicated. They forced themselves to breathe, then carefully stood. The fire pulled away from the rest of their body and poured itself into the letter and turning it to fine ash. The fire left their hand and burned away all of the papers. Except for a map. It seemed even Lian’s fire was done with the useless clutter and the beating around the truth. “Where is the heart of the warrior?”

“Lian, are you…”

“Don't, Lucio, just please don't ask.”

 Lucio pointed to the Turske forest. Asra had told them stories of the forest. They said that the World had blessed the forest with magic as old as itself. Not that anything Asra said was believable. They guessed they'd find out when they got there. “I'll get some supplies. It's gonna be a long trip.”

They gathered clothes and what little wools they had. They heard the south was cold, and they didn't think their Vesuvian summer clothes were going to cut it. They opened the oven. Inside was their oven salamander, and behind the oven, in a place only the creature could reach, was a small bag of coins they kept. They never knew when Asra was going to be back, if he came back at all. The little satchel provided a small amount of reassurance. “Mister Sparkles, can you get the satchel behind the oven?”

“Are you talking to the oven?”

“Of course not, I'm talking to Mister Sparkles.”

A small glowing orange salamander lumbered lazily out of the oven carrying a bag of coins. Lian lit a small fire in their palm. Mr. Sparkles dropped the bag of coins in their other hand and then hopped into the fire. Lucio looked at the small creature. “That is the cutest thing I have ever seen!” Mercedes headbutted Lucio’s leg, “except Mercedes and Melchior, of course.”

Melchior sniffed Mr. Sparkles curiously. Mr. Sparkles shot a plume of smoke, causing Melchior to sneeze. “Have you ever seen an oven salamander?”

Lucio looked away at an odd pink they didn't expect to see painted on his cheeks. “I was banished from the kitchen in the castle.”

Lian stifled a laugh. “How did you get banished?”

“ I set my cape on fire… ”

“Could you say that again?”

“I was showing off my kitchen and did a flourish with my cape, and someone left an open flame, and my cape caught on fire.”

Lian fell over laughing. Spooking poor Mr. Sparkles, who ran off back to the oven. “Don't worry, I fired the servant responsible.”

The world felt like it had stopped. Lian stopped laughing, then sat up and narrowed their eyes, “You fired someone for something you did?”

“They left the fire!”

Lian stood, “You didn't think that maybe no one was at fault and maybe an accident just happened.”

Lucio stared at them. Lian looked casual as if they were speaking some well-known fact. But it wasn't. People don't think like that. Words pouring like memories over his head. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“ Did you hear? The count fired Tianee because he burned his cape .”

“ This Count is so stupid, it's no wonder the city is struggling. ”

“ You're firing them over something you did, and now you want me to find a replacement. Powers Lucio, how did you ever become Count? ”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“Listen, Lian, I had my reasons. I don't need you judging me.”

“I'm not judging you. I'm asking. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't. You're an action-first kind of guy. I respect that. Talk doesn't mean much anyway.”

Lian tied a cloth around their eye, covering the red. Lucio just stood there completely frozen. It didn't make sense to him. Why are they on my side? Why aren't they making fun of me?

Lian walked out the door, heading for the market for supplies. “You can go ahead of me to the forest. I have to pick some things up.”

“Yeah… I will…”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

The market was filled with the smell of herbs and spices. The voices of bartering, stray musicians surrounded Lian. They had one mission to get provisions. Sadly, they were going to have to leave on foot. The horses would have cost all of their savings, and they still needed food and water.

A familiar voice calls out to them. “Madalyn! Why haven't I seen you in a good while? What happened to your eye? How is Asra doing?”

Lian smiled weakly and walked over to the bakery, swallowing the urge to correct him. “You know how it is. Accidents happen. Doesn't matter, I'll heal it soon. Just right now, I'm tired, and Asra left on one of his adventures again.”

The baker laughed, “If I were you, I would never put up with Asra.”

Lian smiled, “Sometimes I don’t know why I did it.”

The baker gave them two loaves. “In case he comes home today.”

“In case…”

 They were grateful for the bread. A little growth spell and prevision magic, and these loaves would last a good while. They would miss this place, but the thought of staying, no, of sitting still in a life that was never really their’s made every inch of their skin crawl. Besides, Lian was so excited to go beyond the city’s walls and have their own grand adventures.

Chapter Text

They walked into the forest, its death clinging to their skin. Mercedes and Melchior stalked cautiously, barking at even the movement of shadows. They wished they had the money for horses. They probably would have if Asra had ever paid his half of the rent. 

A roar ripped through the trees, calling to something deep in their bones. Lian ran to the sound. It called them, no, it begged. Their bodies seemed to move despite them. Lucio called them, but they couldn't stop. Lian dodged trees and roots, Mercedes and Melchior's barks fading into the background.

The tether froze and coiled around them, rooting them in place. Lian found themself in the same clearing they had killed the forest in. A large bear froze and stared at Lian. Their heart jumped to their throat. The bear looked rotten. Patches of black fur were gone, and its eyes were clouded with death. A crossbow bolt sticking from its head bone poked through patches of flesh that had been torn away by something. Despite having what any sane person would call a monster standing before them, Lian felt completely safe and filled with sorrow. “Lian, get away from that thing!”

They looked back as the bear stepped between Lian and Lucio's blade. “When did you get a sword?”

“Stole it. Castle had extras.”

The bear snarled and bared its teeth. Mercedes and Melchior circled the bear growls coming from both of them. Lian walked to the beast and rested a careful hand on its side. “I'll tell him to put down the blade. It's ok, I'll protect you.”

They narrowed their eyes on Lucio. “You can't be serious. It's a zombie bear!”

“I need you to trust me, Lucio… please .”

He looked between Lian and the bear. They could see the conflict playing in his eyes. Till finally he sheathed his blade and called Mercedes and Melchior over. Lian thanked him with a smile. They knelt on the ground calling over the bear. It lumbered over, lying down and resting its head on their lap. Carefully, they reached out their hand to take the bolt. “Is it ok if I take this from you?”

The bear brushed its nose against their arm. It felt like a yes. They took a deep breath as their fingers trembled around the bolt, and when they pulled, the sound was wet, unnatural. Tears welled in Lian’s eyes. A crushing weight slammed into them. Lian rested their head on the bear's. Magic poured from the two of them. The magic burned and coiled around them. Tears poured from Lian’s eyes as the fire began to swallow both of them. The truth had passed through the magic. Besnik had hidden, watching Lian’s life from the sidelines, unable to intervene. “I'm so sorry.”

The magic poured out of them. They felt like they were being split in half. Their screams ringing off the trees. Fur grew back thick and black. The bear's eyes cleared, and flesh covered the bones again. “I can't believe you're here, Besnik.”

The magic settled. Lian looked up at Lucio, tears still pouring from their eyes. Their voice was soft and broken. They didn't remember Besnik, but the pain was real and the connection was obvious. Besnik closed his eyes, enjoying the attention. An understanding crept up their body. This wasn't just any bear. This bear was their familiar. Brought back the same way Lian was. Lian peppered kisses on Besnik. “You didn't have to hide, even if I didn't understand, I would have loved you.”

The bear seems to huff at their comment. Lian hugged Besnik tightly. “You know what, I'm just happy I found you!”

They looked into his eyes and tried to look away. They didn’t want to remember. They wanted to be right here. But the way the sun filtered through the leaves, bouncing off the residual magic, forced them back. To a past they were running from. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“This is a beautiful clearing, Maddi.”

“I know, right? The best part is that tons of animals pass through here. Maybe one day I'll find them here.”

Fire burned on the edge of exploding. Maddi quickly sucked in the fire and tried to redirect their excitement into the air, but Asra just looked past Maddi and whispered, “someday…”

Maddi paused. That quiet again. She seemed to be finding more and more ways of causing the quiet lately. Maddi knew what the quiet meant. They wanted to find their familiar so they wouldn't be alone. Maybe they wouldn't find their familiar till they remember their past… but they didn't know when that was going to happen, and they didn’t know how much longer they could survive the quiet.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lian blinked back tears. I still don't remember. So why did it take so long for me to find Besnik?

Lucio cleared his throat. “What is going on?” Lian stood and wiped what was left of the tears away. “Lucio met my familiar Besnik. Besnik met Lucio and his dogs Mercedes and Melchior.”

Besnik stood looking at Lucio with careful eyes. Besnik stepped closer to him.  Mercedes and Melchior run up to the bear. The three seemed to greet each other based on the yips and growls. “How do you know that you're familiar?”

“I feel the connection. It also helps that he recognized me.”

“I’ve always wanted a familiar. I mean, imagine if it were something cool. They would have to be, you know, being my familiar.”

Lian laughed, “What about Mercedes and Melchior?”

Upon hearing their name, they leap over to Lian. Knocking them down and covering them in doggie kisses. They pushed the cloth covering their eye off. Lian carefully pushed the pair off of themself. But Melchior had already made his bed on Lian. Mercedes went back to bother Besnik. “I’m serious, Lucio; Mercedes, and Melchior, they're like your other halves.”

Lucio knelt and petted Melchior. For the first time, Lian looked calm, peaceful, and even. But Lucio’s insides twisted. He knew this feeling. He just couldn’t name it. Comfort. That’s what it was. It was dangerous. It lulled you into softness, made you forget you were supposed to be running. He needed to ruin the moment. Fill the quiet. He took Lian’s hand. “Thank you.”

Lian opened their eyes. They were expecting a soft smile. He hadn't softened in the moment. This was just him making sure Lian stayed. Little does he know I don't have a reason to leave anymore, but I can't let him know that, though. 

Lian put on a soft smile and traced their thumb over their knuckles. “Why are you thanking me?”

Lucio lifted their hand and placed a small kiss on the back of their hand. “Because you are something amazing, and if you ever come up with a way for me to show you that, don't be too shy to tell me.”

Then he winked at them. Lian was pretty sure they were going to combust into flames. The worst part is that it was an actual possibility. Their magic, as of late, has been harder to control and a lot more dependent on their emotions. Lian pulled back their hand and took a deep breath. They couldn't let on too much how deeply he was affecting them. “You don't have to pay me back, Lucio. People are allowed to want to be kind to you,” Lian smiled sweetly. They decided to play his game, and if it kept the truth buried, all the better. "Besides, who wouldn't want to help someone as handsome as you?”

Magic thrummed around them. Lucio's smile brightened. Their tether felt real and coiled around their joined hands. The magic was warm and cool like a gentle summer breeze. The moment scared Lian. If Lian could feel the way the tether reacted, no doubt Lucio could too. The tether was trying to sell them out. Lian whispered, “We should get going.”

“In a minute.”

Lucio’s hold tightened slightly. It was almost so subtle that Lian didn't notice, but the magic reacted to it. Luckily, Besnik came to their rescue and nudged Melchior off of Lian. Giving Lian an excuse to let go. The warm magic slipped away, causing Lian to shiver. “Do you want to go on an adventure with us?”

Besnik perked up, standing and nudging Lian up. Lian stood and hopped onto Besnik with ease. Like they had done it a million times. “Muscle memory for the win, right bez.”

Beznik shook his head. Lian looked over to Lucio, who was standing there with his jaw practically on the ground. “He just lets you ride him!”

Lian leaned forward. “Is it ok if Lucio rides with me? Would it be too much?”

Besnik looked back at them like they had offended him, then bumped Lucio with his snout. “You don't expect me to ride a bear!”

"You could walk to the forest, but if you complain, I will put a silencing spell on you.”

He sighed and took their hand. Lian had to do most of the heavy lifting on getting him on Besnik. It felt like Besnik was stifling whatever bears do to laugh at something. Once he was on, he was able to find his balance. Still, Lian didn't want to risk anything. “Do you want me to use some magic to help keep you balanced?”

Lucio put on a cocky grin, “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Lian didn't fully believe him. He did struggle to get on, though the thought of him falling off was slightly entertaining. Lian grinned and whispered to Besnik to start heading out of the forest. As Besnik started moving, Lucio found himself wrapped around Lian, desperate not to fall off and get left behind. 

He did fall off. He was fully expecting Lian to laugh at him. But Lian hopped off and ran to his side. “Are you ok? I should have been more insistent.”

It wasn’t funny. Not to Lian. It felt like failure. They felt more guilty than anything. They knew he would fall, and they let it happen. Lian was supposed to stop things like this from happening. They had to be useful, not whatever this was. “It's ok, Lian, maybe I underestimated this.

Lian took a deep breath and helped him back on. Lian’s warm and bright magic circled Lucio. They could feel his arms loosen. Lian watched as the world shifted from the dead hues of the forest to the warm, golden hues of wheat fields and sunlight. The fields seemed to go on forever. Lian reached down and let their hands brush against wheat. Mercedes and Melchior ran around racing ahead, then back to the rest of them, then back ahead, tromping around in the wheat. There was no way Lian wasn’t going to find themselves. After all, they had a purpose now. All they had to do was be useful.

Lucio relaxed in Lian’s magic. He thought all magic felt the same, but Lian’s felt special, warm, and perfect. There was no way he wasn't going to complete his deals now.  After all, he had such a loyal magician on his side. All he had to do was keep them close. 

Chapter Text

The wheat had turned to sparse buildings and grass as far as the eye could see. The stars sparkled overhead, and the moon cast full beams on the group. They had traveled all day, and Lian was starting to feel it. They weren't going to say anything, but part of them felt like they were going to fall over and pass out at any moment. Until Besnik huffed and knelt. “Besnik?”

Besnik just nodded towards the ground. Lian caught on. “Besnik says he needs to rest, and he said this area is empty, so we should be safe.”

“You got all that from him shaking his head?”

They shrugged, “Yeah.”

Lian pulled off the cloth covering them. They didn't want to wear it. It was not the most flattering or comfortable thing, but it was better than getting turned away for being plagued. Lian stretched, and every part of them felt stiff as a board. Lucio carefully unhooked his arm. Lian tried not to stare, but they had never seen anything like it. The magic in it was powerful, and it moved as if it were his arm. This is not like the other prosthetics Lian encountered while running the shop. “That arm… where did you get it?”

“Why do you want one? Sadly, it'll cost you an arm or a leg.”

Lucio laughed at his joke, but Lian was genuinely curious. They lifted the arm. It's magic felt like a warm stream. I'm just curious, this kind of craftsmanship is rare. I've worked my whole life at the magic shop and still have never seen anything like this.”

“You've also never seen anyone like me. So say rare people have rare things.”

He was being defensive. He is hiding something. You can't trust him. LIARS CAN'T BE TRUSTED. This is the kind of person who leaves. Secrets leave!

“And you're not one to shy away from gloating about how you got a rare thing.”

Their mind was screaming that he was going to leave. They pushed the thoughts aside. He couldn't leave; he was tethered to them. It was just the two of them. Besnik, Mercedes, and Melchior were already asleep. Lucio still shifted as if he were being asked to admit to a crime. “I commissioned it after I became count.”

“Then why were you dodging the question?”

“Lian, it really isn't important.”

“It is when you are hiding something.”

The fire crackled around their hands as they set the arm at his feet. The moment became nothing but tension. Lian stared Lucio in the eyes until he sighed, “Magicians named Salim and Aisha. It really, really  isn't that important.”

“You're right; it isn't, but if I'm going to help you, we need to be completely honest with one another. My cost of helping is honesty.”

“Right, cause you're going to be honest about everything.”

Lian narrowed their eyes. “Yes. I don't have time for lies.”

“If you're so honest, tell me why you were crying in the woods that night.”

“Cause someone I was dependent on didn't come home again. Left and didn't come back and wouldn't tell me why. But I know why now, and now I won't let others pretend away the truth.”

They dropped it like a stone of truth between them. They laid against Besnik. The warm air didn't help the burning heat in their throat.  They wanted to cry and burn and destroy, but they couldn't. Not here, not now. Lucio won't get to win this with that question. 

A warm weight settled next to Lian. They didn't move away, but they didn't move closer either. No one said sorry that night, because neither was going to admit they were in the wrong. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Warm darkness wrapped around Lian. Their mind was lulled by sleep. Besnik ran up to Lian. “ Madalyn, goodness, I'm so happy right now when they told me I would never be part of your life again I was so sad .”

“Besnik?”

Lian looked up. They were floating in a void. This is a dream . Soft grass formed beneath their feet, creating a field not unlike they were asleep in. They looked to Besnik.

He laid his head on Lian's lap. “I missed you, Madalyn.”

“Besnik…” The truth sat on Lian's tongue like a stone. It got all the heavier when Besnik looked up at them with those eyes, but Lian couldn't do it; they couldn't lie. “I'm not Madalyn.” 

“But…”

“Yes, I know I look like her, sound like, and lived where she lived, but I'm not her. I just made it from her death.”

He stood and began to pace, " If you are not Madalyn, then how come I could not reach you sooner?”

“I don't know.”

“What are you sure you are not who you are, but you can't tell me I could not get to you.”

“MADALYN DIED!”

“I KNOW I WAS THERE.”

“Whatever Asra did to bring her back brought me instead. But Asra told me a was Madalyn, and I believed him till I couldn't anymore. Is that what you need to hear? That I was lied to and puppeted into the place of a dead woman,” Tears formed in their eyes. They didn't need to be tortured in their waking hours and their sleep, “I should be dead. Asra should never have tried to bring her back.”

Lian collapsed under the weight. They said that they were too weak to fight this pain in their chest. Besnik lifted their head with his snout. “I am sorry. I should have been able to tell. But if you are not Madalyn, then who are you?”

“Lian.”

“Then I can't wait to know more about you, Lian. Is there anything you want to know about me?”

“How come you're the only one from Madalyn's past that I recognized?”

“A person and their familiar are tied together; their very souls are linked. So that no matter what happens, they will be bonded.”

“So you said you were there when she died. Is that metaphorical since you're tied? If you don't want to tell me, it's fine.”

“You deserve to know where you came from.”

Besnik leads them over the field. They walked in silence for a while as day became dusk in this dream world. And green became white sand. Lian recognized the beach and the docks. A man stood on the docks. It wasn't till Lian heard his voice that they recognized him. “Please let me take her and bury her.”

Muriel…

“And I've already told you, without the money, there is no way I'll let you take her.”

A sickly woman inside the boat reached out and took his hand. “Muriel, it's ok, just don't forget my story.”

“I'm sorry Madalyn.”

Lian didn't know what they were expecting, but every time they hoped for a good ending, something kind happening to Madalyn, it never did. Soft tears form in both the woman's eyes and Lian’s. 

A roar sounded behind the group.  “I was so angry that Muriel didn't just take you. He is as big and strong as I am, yet he still allows it to happen.”

They watched in quiet fear as Besnik ran towards the dock. His paws thudded against the worn planks. Time seemed to slow as a nearby sailor, his face etched with grim determination, swiftly notched an arrow onto his bowstring and drew it back with practiced ease. The air was rent by a sharp whistle as the arrow soared through the air, its deadly trajectory aimed directly at Besnik's head.

A sickening crunch, followed by a heavy thud, reverberated through the air, causing Lian's stomach to lurch. The world seemed to blur as she instinctively rushed towards the fallen Besnik, their mind reeling with a maelstrom of emotions.

“This isn't fair! She was good, why did she have to suffer so much?”

Lian turned to Muriel. “Why did you let Asra bring me back?”

He couldn't hear them. He walked over and lifted Besnik into his arms. Lian screamed. It's the only thing they could do. Madalyn died alone, no one saved her from becoming Lian, and it only served to make Lian sick. “Please, Besnik, make it stop.”

“Lian…”

Lian couldn't bring themselves to move. All they could think about was the letter. All Madalyn wanted was to have Asra by her side again, but she wasn't even allowed that. A hole opened in the sand, pulling them into a forest filled with trees that were colors that didn't make sense. The magician walked up to Besnik, who was frolicking with other animals. “Besnik, would you like to go back to Madalyn?”

“Of course, she is my other half. I'm so glad she survived.”

The magician's face fell slightly. “I'm glad, too, but there is a small price you have to pay.”

“What is it? I'll pay anything.”

“You will never be seen by Madalyn again; you will only get to watch her from a distance.”

“But I will see her?”

“Yes.”

“Then take me to her.” 

Again, they got pulled to the forest just beyond Vesuvian. Lian was curled in the clearing. Lian knew exactly what they were going to find. Someone who got left behind again. Someone who was sobbing and broken. Someone alone, but they weren't alone. Lian spotted the rotted version of besnik watching Lian like a statue. Lian was numbed to the pain now. It was all the same. 

They were alone in this life and the last. No matter how good and how strong they were, they were left behind by the rest of the world. The truth hurt like nothing Lian had experienced before. They wanted the truth. This was their punishment. “Lian?”

They didn't move even when the dream began to quake and split. Lian was already drowning, there wasnt anything an earthquake was going to change. They barely breathed the fire inside of them, getting choked to nothingness. All they could feel was the overwhelming nothingness. Even as besnik tried to bring them out of it. “Make it all stop, please.”

No one answered. Not besnik and not the powers. No one tried to explain that it had to happen, that there was a purpose behind the pain; there was just gut-wrenching nothingness.

Chapter Text

Lian shook quiet sobs racking the whole of their body. Lucio felt it, so he sat up and whispered their name. It only caused Lian to curl further into themselves. “Lian... I'm sorry I asked that.”

Lian didn't move. Melchior whined and nudged their shoulder. Lian rolled over and pulled themselves closer to Lucio. This was an odd first for Lucio. Sure, he had plenty of relationships, but having someone unintentionally move closer to you in their sleep felt intimate in a way he hadn't expected. It felt like all the air in his lungs had gotten sucked out. Lian looked safe. They shouldn't look safe, not near him. He looked out at the empty field. There was no one in sight, yet the silence rang with their mocking. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

‘ He bought exotic eels.’

‘Of course he did.’

‘Yeah, that's not even the worst part. They are poisonous, and he let them get into public waterways. 6 people have already died and more are injured, sure to follow.’

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

That wasn't even his fault. They were contained… until they weren't. Of course, he didn’t know how they got out. That's what he had servants for.

He looked back down at Lian; they didn't hear the mocking; they just stayed close to him. Lucio ran his fingers through the chaotic mess of curls. It annoyed him how much Lian made him feel things. This hadn't happened before. People were tools, and Lian is no different. As soon as their soul bond deal was completed, he would be done with the emotions and be done with them.     

The shaking got worse. Fire curled around Lian. Their sleepless screams filling the air. Melchior whined and bumped them again even mercedes woke licking Lian’s hand. What does a person supposed to do when someone is having this kind of nightmare? He tried gently shaking them awake. “Lian…”

It came out like a whisper, something softer than what Lucio ever thought could come out of him. The fire grew and covered more of their body. It wasn’t hot and didn’t burn, but it consumed. It coiled around Lucio’s hand and filled him with a dread that took its time hollowing out his stomach. He shook them again, desperate to get them to wake up and stop the fire from eating both of them. 

Lian shot up, nearly knocking their head into Lucio’s. The fire died immediately. Lucio reached out and took Lian's hand. They were still shaking and staring off at something that wasn’t there. Their breath sounded like they had to fight for it. “Lian… what happened?”

They looked over at him with tears in their eye and pulled back their hand. They looked at their hand with narrowed eyes and disgust. Tears began to pour from their eyes. “I can’t do this…”

“Do what?”

They took his hand, their eyes wide, tears barely slowing. They looked worn in a way that made him wonder if there was an answer to what he asked. “I can't keep living in this body that isn't mine.” 

“What does that matter! You have it, you should make it yours.”

“You don't understand.”

They pulled back. At least now they have stopped shaking. He scooted closer. “Of course I don’t understand fully, but I know what it means to hate what you are.”

The wind whistled, reminding him of a time he looked too much like Lian.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“GET UP!”

“Mother, please.”

“If you want to eat, you will kill it.”

The pup looked at Montag like it knew what he had to do. It's sad whine ringing in his ears. The snow clung too closely the air smelled like death. Morga whistled. Jeager swooped down from the trees. Morga commanded the bird to kill the pup. Montag stepped between the bird and the pup. Morga’s voice rang over him, “do what you have to jaeger.”

Deep talons curled into Montag’s arm. He screamed, trying to swat the bird away. His mother's cold voice washed over him. “For the next month, you hunt your own food.”

Montag begged his mother to stop this. He tried to fight off Jaeger, but it was too late. The pup's last cry matched Montag’s. He failed at killing it and at defending it. He curled into the snow, watching it turn red from his and the pup’s blood. He promised himself he was going to be stronger next time. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

He tried to shake off the memory, but Lian’s tired sobbing wouldn't let it leave. He couldn't stand to listen to it anymore. He pulled them onto his lap, wrapping his arm around them. 

“You should be allowed to feel comfortable in your own body.”

“I told you I didn't want it.”

“But you have it. You think the powers didn't have a hand in this. I’m sure people as amazing as us don’t just happen by accident.”

Please stop crying.

They didn't. 

“You know, I have the perfect thing to get your mind off of whatever is causing this.” He reached over and grabbed his arm. The magic suctioned on with a quiet pop. “A little sparring normally gets my mind off of things that upset me.”

Good thing he stole two swords from the castle. Sure, Lian had magic, but it never hurt to be good with a sword, too. If it had the bonus of getting Lian to stop crying, that was also a win in his books. 

Lian lifted their head. “I don't know how to fight.”

“Then it's a good thing I'm the best swordsman ever and a great teacher too.”

Lian smiled, it was weak and quickly faded, but it made Lucio feel odd. The soul bond, or whatever was causing him to feel things was getting real annoying. He stood and grabbed the two swords. 

Lian watched him while quietly picking at the names scattered across their legs. Lian started to hate the names that covered their body. They were the names of people they didn't know. They wanted to burn them all off, or maybe just burn and be free of this stupid burden of a body. They scratched at the dark letters, wishing they could get them to go away. All it did was draw blood. 

Lucio reached out to them with that bright-as-the-sun smile. Even worse, the sun had slowly begun to peek over the field, wrapping Lucio its warm early gold, but even with sun as a backdrop he shined brighter. He was beautiful and still was going out of his way to help something like them They took his hand as he hoisted them up with ease. 

He handed Lian one of the swords. They had seen palace guards carry swords, but holding one felt odd and foreign. Whatever they did while carrying it caused Lucio to laugh. He fixed their posture and taught them about the importance of stance. To Lian’s surprise, Lucio was pretty good at the whole teaching bit. The visions from the dream slid into the back of their mind as they slipped into the rhythm of the lesson. 

“You're going to almost be as good as me,” Lucio said when Lian knocked his sword from his hands and pinned him to the ground. “It really is too bad that you never know what your opponent will do next.”

Lian raised an eyebrow, and Lucio pushed the blade aside with his gauntlet. Lian took it as a victory with an eerie lesson on the end and dropped the sword next to his. Then he kicked their leg, causing them to fall. They reacted fast and caught themselves with magic. Now Lucio was pinned beneath them with a goofy grin that Lian couldn’t decipher. “You know this is one of the best views I’ve gotten of you.”

A blush painted their cheeks as he laughed. It was warm. Lian wanted to find a way to keep that sound all for themselves. It made every part of them warm. Even worse was the realization of how close they were to each other. Lucio didn't stop and continued, “You know you can get off of me unless you plan to do something.”

His eyes lingered shamelessly on their lips. There was no way they were going to survive kissing him. But no doubt it was a tempting idea. Lian found themselves leaning in. It would be better if they pulled back. It would be safer, even. Emotions and adrenaline were still running too high for Lian to care. When he kissed them, they let him.

 It was electric to Lian. They hadn’t kissed anyone before, and now they were wondering why it took so long to try it. And for a little while, the whole world disappeared.

Chapter Text

The group stopped at a tattered tavern, dim lamps swaying in the breeze. Thep hoped it was abandoned. Lian looked torn to tatters. They hadn't spoken since that morning. Lian preferred it like that. Everything felt like it was crumbling. They were barely able to hold themselves together. They didn't want to have to put this on anyone. Lian refused to be a burden. 

A sigh hung over the dilapidated dusty building. The shrinking shrike.  “Real piece of poetry.”

Lian was too tired to laugh. All they wanted was to sink into a quiet abyss. They had nothing left. No past, no future. Lucio was the only constant. Lian leaned on Lucio. Besnik nudged them.  Lazy hand slipping through Besnik's fur. The door opened with no resistance, and a small bell rang overhead. 

A short man with pale skin hopped up from behind the counter. “Oh, customers. We haven't had some of those in a long time.”

Lucio and Lian grimaced at each other. Lian straightened themselves out and spoke.  “We’re looking for a place to stay for the night.”

“Ahh, yes, we are under construction right now and sadly have only one room available.”

If cued by his words, the sounds of hammers and things crashing against each other shook the dust from the walls. Lian felt this was a ghost home, a place between worlds, a place where those who had a love for the world could still serve the world even as spirits. If they rejected the room, it would anger the spirits here. “How much does it cost for a room?”

“No need to worry, say it is a repayment for all the work being done around here.”

Again, the crashing sounded. Lucio pulled them from the counter, close as if to hug them. Instead, he leaned down and asked. “We're not staying in the filthy place.”

“If you want to anger these spirits and find out how real those crashes are, then be my guest, but I want to sleep on a bed.”

Lucio sighed and smiled at the man. The short man led them up the creaky stairs. “So how long will you be staying with us?”

The air swirled, and mist crept down from the ceiling. Lucio reached for his sword, but Lian stopped him and said to the innkeeper. 

“We’re not spirits, just staying a night.”

“Huh, not spirits but cover in your death, how curious. Well, enjoy the room.”

They stepped through the threshold. When Lian turned to thank the man, he had disappeared.”

Lucio grumbled, “This isn't bad, but I don't know if I want to be in a haunted house.”

“This place is run by benevolent spirits that only want to help. Besides, the room itself is quite nice… if not…”

“Tiny.”

Besnik and the dogs had already curled themselves in a comfortable huddle in the corner. The hearth cast a warm, lazy glow on everything, and compared to the rest of the inn was very well kept.  The only problem was that there was only one bed. Lian swore they had read this cliche in a million books. At least Lucio and Lian were used to sharing spaces like this. Still, it was only right that Lian offer an option. “I could sleep on the floor if you want.”

“That sounds amazing, thank you.”

Lian just watched as he walked into the washroom. There were a lot of cliches around this, but his straight-up being fine with Lian taking the floor with no hesitation whatsoever caught them off guard. They were glad they were stepping out of cliches. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lucio woke up in the middle of the night. He wasn't sure what woke him. All he knew was that no matter how he rolled, he couldn't get comfortable. He sat up and looked over at Lian. They were curled in a tight ball and shivering. 

There was only one blanket and one pillow, but Lian still gave them all to Lucio. They were perfect in their selflessness. They were so quick to sacrifice everything to him, and Lucio knew he could use that.

The longer he looked at Lian, the more the image seemed to tug at his heart. It was a feeling Lucio wasn't used to. He just knew he needed the feelings to stop. He popped on his gauntlet and went over to Lian. He could leave them there. They wouldn’t know and wouldn’t complain, and it makes it worse.  

 It was a good thing they were light; that would have been a pain if they weren’t, but maybe if they were, it would be easier to leave. He was careful as he set them down on the small bed. Their curls lay in stark contrast to the rest of the bed. The gnawing feeling slowed with Lian's calm breathing. He hated this. This stood against everything he understood about the world and people. Lian felt everything so loudly that it confused him. Emotions were supposed to quiet out of existence, and now his emotions were loud, too. Lian made them loud. Louder than his confidence but never louder than his fear. 

Chapter Text

Fields of grass shifted to hills of wild flowers. Small towns broke up the endless expanses of green that filled the group's travels. Lian did odd jobs to support the group. If an inn needed tables or chairs, Lian was there to fix it. They got the food with the group. They got the warm beds for everyone. They were needed. They were irreplaceable. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

The air moved. Lian was cold. They shot up. Fire burned the blanket beneath them. They were alone in the dark room. Tears poured from their eyes. They were supposed to be irreplaceable. The fire surrounded their body, casting its light more clearly on how alone they were. Maybe he wanted his own room. I should have worked harder. 

Tears poured from their eyes as they curled under the hold of the fire. I wish this stupid town would have let besnik stay with me. He'd know what to do.

Their thoughts became suffocating, and the fire ate at more of them. They quietly whispered Lucio’s name like a prayer. They needed him. They couldn't be alone again. They didn't know anyone, and they didn't want to start from nothing. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lucio walked into the room. The tether screamed and burned. He was worried about Lian, but it didn't make the reaction comfortable. He pushed open the door, holding the bread that reminded him of the first loaf that Lian always smiled when eating. The room was filled with thick black smoke. It didn't smell or even feel like smoke; it felt like pain and fear. His name rang through the smoke like a broken prayer of a dying saint. He tried to fan away the smoke. But it clung and refused to part. There was a bright light at the center of the room. It was barely shining through the thick smoke. 

Lucio moved towards the light. He'd probably have to find Lian to fix this. 

He got to the fire. Amid the flames, Lian lay curled up and cried. Shit, they're freaking out about something again. 

He reached through the fire and gently tried to shake them awake. The fire crawled away from his hand. Lian looked up at him.  

They looked tired and scared. He couldn’t tell what caused it, though. 

They wrapped their arms around him, rambling about how they thought he had left them. He mattered enough that they were terrified to lose him. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to move; he wanted to live in this moment forever. Eventually, Lian was going to get sick of him. Everyone did, but they were clinging to him like they needed him. Until they pulled back.  The moment ended. The smoke cleared. 

He looked out the window, unwilling to look at Lian and acknowledge how they made him feel too many things. “Yeah, you shouldn't have. We're tethered, remember, I can't leave.”

“Right…"

The silence stretched between the two of them. Lian grabbed the bread off the table and took a bite. “Did you get this?”

A barely there smile graced Lian's face. “Yeah, you were out cold. I was hungry, thought I might as well get us something.”

They broke the loaf in half and gave him the slightly bigger half. Lian whispered a thanks. The air was filled with tension, but for right now, neither of them wanted to acknowledge it. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

They had passed through six forests, big and small. Some brimmed with magic, others bursted with life, but none of them compared to the Turske forest. The ancient magic wrapped Lian in a sweet calm. This was nothing like any forest the been in before. “Is this the right forest, Lian?”

“Yes.”

Lucio followed in the forest. The air shifted from calm to anxious. The trees passed secrets and whispered judgments in a language lost to time. Besnik stepped in front of Lian, growling. Mercedes and Melchior bit at the air. Their barks bounce off the trees. 

“The forest doesn’t want us here; we should go.”

Lucio took Lian’s hand. “Calm down Lian. The forest just recognizes greatness when it sees it.”

The air swirled with mocking flutters. Even the forest seemed impressed by Lucio’s ignorance. His confidence made it easier to ignore the forest. 

Lian was getting better at almost holding whole conversations with Besnik, and if Lian were to guess what Besnik was saying right now, with his posture. His saying ‘ he can’t actually believe that! Can he?'

Lian stepped closer to Besnik as Lucio went over to the dog in an attempt to calm them down. “He can believe whatever he wants. We get what we need, then we leave.”

‘ And when that overconfidence gets you hurt.'

“Trust me, I'll prevent that.”

“Lian, I think they just need a little attention. You wanna join?”

Lucio held out a stick. Lian knelt and took the stick. “Of course, who wouldn't want the best to join?”

They tried to emulate some of Lucio's bravado. Lucio laughed one of those laughs that was too pitchy to be fake. One of the laughs that Lian found themselves treasuring. “Alright, we'll see about that.”

Lucio launched the stick into the air, and Mercedes ran after it at full speed. Becoming like a white barking blur. Melchior sat at Lian's feet, waiting patiently. Lian threw the stick and boosted it with magic. Sending it reasonably farther than Lucio. Lucio’s jaw dropped as Melchior stated his chase after the stick. “That can't be far.”

“You never said I couldn't use a little magic. Since obviously I'm better, shouldn't I get something like a trophy?”

“I could be your trophy.”

Lian, like every other time he did this, was caught off guard. Sometimes he'd get defensive and distant, and sometimes moments like now would happen. Lian could never tell which side they were gonna get at any given moment. 

Luci lifted her chin and did that stupid grin. Lian didn't like moments like this. It was easy to want to stay with this side. It was easy to forget that he would forget they even existed when this happened. It was easy to forget this was all temporary, and the moment he got the chance, he would leave like everyone else, and when warm moments happened, Lian tried to freeze them in time. “It seems more like a reward for you, not me.”

His grin didn't falter; he just leaned in and whispered. “Maybe.”

His magic crept down their spine. Clingy like ash and cold like snow. For a little bit, Lian lived in the moment, pretending it was perfect. Pretending it would last. Only to have it cut short by Mercedes and Melchior trampling the two of them. Lucio laughed as Mercedes dropped the stick on his chest, and some small, annoying part of Lian thought maybe this time would last. It was a silly, outrageous, and tempting thought. one they couldn't let last. He'll leave once this is all over. 

“We should get going.”

“Why the rush? Relax a little? We've finally made it.”

Lian sighed at watched the clouds move through the trees. “Yeah, but don't you want your body back and not be dependent on my magic?”

“Yeah, I… I do, but I guess what are you going to do? After everything is said and done.”

Lian tried not to think about what they were going to do after. After scaring them. After see meant this had to end. “I don't know… I haven't thought about it.”

“You know, I could always use a court magician. Oh, and I'll throw a massive party in our honor—me because hello, I'm back, and you for helping get me back.”

Lian smiled. He wants to keep me around. I'm useful enough to throw a party for! “You know, that doesn't sound too bad, but before we can do that, we've got to finish the deals.”

“Fine.”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

They searched for a while but got nowhere, and the forest's whispers pounded against Lian’s head. Lian knelt and brushed aside the leaves. The whispers grew louder, yet what they meant grew all the more vague. Lian placed their hand on the ground. Magic crept up Lian’s hand, and the whispers became clear. 

The child is here…

They will destroy us too…

They are of ash…

Their magic is burning…

I smell death on them… 

We need to get rid of them…

We cannot let them stay…

Lian tried to pull their hand from the ground, but the grass grew up and around their hand. They tried to burn the grass, but the ground swallowed their magic. It felt like the magic was sucked so deep into their body that it disappeared. Their vision began to blur. “Lucio! Besnik! HEL…”

Cool, earthy magic drowned out their senses. 

‘ Hello, child. ”

Chapter Text

“ Hello, child. ”

A large turtle lumbered over to Lian. It towered over them and was made of tree roots and magic. It lowered its head to where Lian stood before a large eye. Their distorted reflection stared back in quiet shock. “ Did you come here to kill me as you did my brother? ”

Lian watched as thick liquid silver coated their reflection's hands. Lian hated when this happened. It was a reminder, one they didn’t want. They hoped it was only in the reflection. Lian looked down. It wasn't just their reflection. Lian tried to rub off the silver, but it wouldn’t come off. “Listen, we only want the warrior’s heart. If you could please show us where it is, I promise we’ll leave as soon as we get it.”

The turtle lifted its head, “ Leave and do what? Follow the path of the poison. I see no reason to allow it. ”

Lian ran as the turtle lifted its leg and nearly stepped on them. Instead of stepping on them, it was stepping past them. “We’re not poison.”

The spirit turned its head towards Lian, “The line between naivety and hopefulness is almost invisible. Tell me how far you will go for such a careless mortal?”

“As far as I have to go, but that does not make us poison.”

The sound of pained screams filled the air. They sounded like Lian. But they came from the darkness that filled this place. The ground shook, and an earthy pedestal lifted Lian face-to-face with the spirit. “ I hope this heart gives what you think it will. I am not foolish to the ways of mortals. I know you will stop at nothing, and if I kill you, I have no doubt the other mortal will attempt to destroy me. So I will lead you to the heart, and you will leave, never to return. Besides, so few mortals think to ask me. ”

The turtle stomped and the pedestal crumbled, and Lian tried to slow their fall, but it was no use. The voice of the turtle rang over them. 

“ Be ready, child.”

The darkness became like water and swallowed Lian. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“Lucio! Besnik! HEL…”

The air stopped with the cut-off cry. Lucio turned as the tether froze. Icy numbness crept up his arm. Besnik pushed Lucio. Mercedes and Melchior ran full speed towards the scream. 

The three reached a tiny clearing. Lian’s head was thrown back, staring up at the sky. Melchior whined, nudging Lian. Mercedes nipped at the grass creeping up Lian’s arm, but for every blade she pulled off, two more grew in its place. 

Lucio knelt and tried to pull their hand from the grass. “Come on, Lian. This isn't funny.”

Their eyes were bright yellow-green. Not the warm brass he had been used to. It was like all their warmth had gotten sucked into the ground. Besnik tried to help pull Lian from the ground, but whatever was holding them down was stronger than the whole group. “How hard is it to move a fucking person. YOU'RE A BEAR!”

Besnik growled at Lucio and lay down next to Lian. Lucio never liked bears, and besnik was being especially annoying right now. Mercedes and Melchior stalked around the lian, watching for any signs of danger. Leaving Lucio feeling useless and powerless. 

“Fuck this. I’m gonna find the heart. Then I’ll be strong enough to get them out of this place.”

He picked a random direction and started his march. Past the trees. Past the strange statues that were littered around. The wind blew in a way that sounded like words. 

Something yanked on his wrist. The mark on his hand began to burn. Still, he marched through the pain.

The pain crept up his arm and down his spine. Nausea took root. Everything was spinning. Still, he kept going. Till he tripped over a random root. Everything burned, and then it faded. The smell of damp earth and a shivering cold were the last things he remembered when his memories took over his mind. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“Get up, Montag!”

Montag lay shivering in his bed. No amount of furs could keep off the chills that shook his whole body. “Mother, I'm sick.”

“Then you’ll learn to toughen up. Jaeger makes sure he gets out.”

The cold winter air swept in from the open door. The large bird landed on the edge of the bed. Montag tried to get away from the vile creature, but he could barely move. Only getting as far as sitting up. 

Its black, beady eyes stared down at him. Montag did try to get out of bed. He didn’t want to be hurt. He still remembers the deep scars Jaeger gave him. He didn’t want to repeat the pain. Years couldn’t heal the memories, and worse of all, years didn’t change Jaeger. The bird was still ever eager to tear into Montag. 

The blur of black and red was all Montag could see before his screams bounced off the walls. Talons cut into his shoulder. Blood trickled from the wound. More blood left to be bandaged by him on his own. More scars, none from the battles he won or the strength he had. All from toughing up. Not that toughing up was gonna help him.

He couldn’t toughen up enough for anyone to care. He knew people heard him. He knew they would laugh. They didn’t see the talons. The cuts that took weeks or more to heal. All he could hold onto was the fact that he would be the leader one day. Then no one could hurt him.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

The tether dragged him back to the clearing. His vision cleared from the terrible memory, but he could still feel Jaeger's talons on his shoulder. Lian still stayed stuck to the ground. He took their hand. The tether barely pulsed, but it was enough for him to believe that Lian was fighting to get free. 

Lian squeezed his hand. He nearly jumped. “Lian!”

The yellow-green bled away, and the grass slid back into the ground. They shivered and shook the dirt off their hand. Lucio took their hand and searched for any sign of injury. “What are you doing?”

“Oh… just making sure you’re ok. Injuries would slow us down,” he brushed away one of the blades that had gotten cut off by Mercedes’ nipping. He paused and quietly asked, “Are you ok?”

Lian laughed, “Other than my eyes feeling dry, I feel fine.”

“What happened?”

Lian looked away, staring at one of the far-off trees. They sounded rushed and overexcited.“Oh, right! I know where the warrior’s heart is. I spoke with the forest. It just wants us to leave.”

Lian stood and whispered something to besnik. Lucio followed after them. They had just gotten possessed by the ground and were quick to get back on the hunt. It didn't feel right to Lucio, “What do you mean by you talking to the forest? Was that what that whole grass possession thing was about?”

They looked back with a look that scared Lucio a little. They were brushing something off. He had done it a million times. It also meant he wasn’t going to get the answer he wanted.

Chapter Text

They stood at the mouth of a large cave. Yellow and red markings marched across the cold gray stone. Besnik stepped in front and was the first to enter the cave. Lian whispered, “You don’t have to be in front.”

Lian ran their hand through his fur. Besnik was tense and didn’t move from being in front. ‘ I remember this cave. My mother was born here. She said this cave was born of sacrifices and nightmares. ’

“You were raised here?”

The symbols on the walls hummed with old magic. ‘ No, my mother left for a forest closer to the mountains. She didn’t want to stay in a place that birthed ancient evil. ’

Lucio tapped Lian’s shoulder and asked, “What are you two talking about?”

Lian traced the symbols covering the walls. The marking glowed with a strange heat that felt like a warning, but Lucio didn’t need to know. There was no reason to scare him. “Besnik's mother was born here.”

A voice fell from the walls , “ Try not to worry about the past, Maddy. ”

Lian looked up and tried to find where Asra’s voice came from. The glow of the marks was more aggressive. The deeper they went, the more the darkness seemed to close in on them. The markings stopped being purposeful. They became erratic and covered large swaths of the stone. Lian pulled out the sword that Lucio had gifted to them and held a ball of light on the tip. Lucio reached out and touched one of the red markings. Voices seem to fill the cave. The markings matched the rhythms of the voices. “ I’m going to give you a head start, and you'd better run for your life, Monty. ”

Lucio tensed, looking around, trying to find the source of the voice. Lian took his hand, “Listen, this cave is trying to get to us.” He was still on edge, so Lian took his face in their hands, “Look at me, this isn’t real.”

 Lian pointed to the symbols that still pulsed with an onslaught of voices, “They're coming from those.”

The cave glowed with a bright red and yellow light. Even Besnik snapped at the walls a couple of times. “ Don’t worry, Madalyn, I'll always find you. ”

The cry of a bird filled the cave. Lucio’s hand tightened around Lian’s. They tried not to focus on the dizzying feeling of hearing Asra. It was strange how their voice now made Lian uncomfortable.  

“ You’re not a replacement. ”

“ So why am I here? I don't think you believe that. I think you and I both know it. I think the reason you're never here is because you can’t bear to accept it. I'M NOT MADALYN! ”

“ You’ll always be Maddy to me. ”

Lian felt that old pit in their stomach grow, and the voices didn't let up. 

“ You’re almost a man, Monty. When will you grow up? ”

“ I'll always be part of you, Maddy. ”

Lian tried to hold back the shaking. Hold back the way that the fire crept up through their body. They had to stay calm. It’s not real. It’s not real. It isn’t real!

“ Magic connects people no matter how far they may go. So I’m never really too far.”

The rest of the voices became a blur. Lian forgot that Asra had said that to them. They remembered they were upset because Asra was late. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

“You promised you would be home in three days.”

“Things happened.”

Maddi held Mister Sparkles close. The oven salamander left puffs of smoke in the air. Tears burned in Maddi’s eyes. “What if you don’t come back?”

Asra lifted their chin and brushed away the tears, “Then you’ll find me. Our magic connects us. Magic connects people no matter how far they may go. So I’m never really too far.”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

The fire took over Lian’s mind. Rage and pain clawed through every vein in their body. The heart became an erratic war cry of beats, “LIAR!”

A blast of fire left their palm. The blast pushed Lian back into besnik. Their breath shook. They looked down at their hands, the tingle of the magic still stung. 

“Since when could you do that?”

Lian recognized the spell. It was an offensive spell Asra taught them after some kids tried to break into the shop, but it never got that big. And definitely couldn’t blast through a wall. “I have no idea, but that felt amazing.”

Adrenaline continued to race through Lian. Stone still dripped in molten blobs, making the wall become an archway. They had done that. For longer than Lian would like to admit, they thought they couldn’t do magic cause every spell Asra taught them felt like a stone Lian couldn't lift. This made Lian feel raw, free, and confident. 

 They walked into the revealed room, ready for anything that was going to come at them. What Lian didn't expect was to enter a tomb. The air was thick with the smell of dust and death. Tattered fabrics were strewn across the area. The sand that littered the area felt too soft to be sand but too heavy to be dust. A pile of bones with a singular amber heart-shaped gem sat in the center of the room. 

Lucio went over to the bones and picked up the heart. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

“I wish you were right.”

Lian lifted their sword as the bones lifted into the air and spun. Magic hummed in the air. The sand funneled toward the bones as they broke and stretched. The fabric dressed the drake. Large spines crowned the beast. Lian choked on the thick dust that began to cover the beast. The heart pulled itself from Lucio’s hands. It set itself in the crown of the drake’s head. The bones wrapped around the heart. The eyes of the beast glowed yellow, and plumes of red dust escaped its flared nostrils. A loud rumbling roar shook the stone. Lucio sighed, “I spoke too early, didn't I?”

Chapter Text

Lian took a deep breath, trying to gather the flames onto the sword's point. Lian tried to be careful as they aimed for the drake. The fireball was of solid size but didn't even scratch the beast. The scorch marks got scrubbed away in the sand.  “Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

Besnik snatched Lian. The Drake's barbed tail swung, barely missing Lian and Besnik. Lucio tried to take a stab at it, but it was to no avail. Not only was the deal big, but it was fast. Mercedes and Melchior did their best to keep the drake’s attention on them. Besnik tried to get close but focused on keeping Lucio from getting impaled. 

Lian had to find a way to get them out of this. They had to win.

“ What happens when I'm not strong enough? ”

“ Ask for help. A group is stronger together. ”

It would be nice if that were true. If only there were a way to strengthen the group. Wait, that’s it.

Lian lifted their sword, pointing it towards the air. Fire crept up Lian’s body, taking over their mind. They let the fire swallow every inch of their body. Waves of heat rolled off and lifted Lian into the air. The drake turned towards Lian before the beast could swing at Lian, and Besnik bit through its tail. “ You're doing a strengthening spell! This is gonna be fun. ”

All the magic around Lian was being pulled in and repurposed towards the strengthening spell. Lian felt like their whole body was melting. The magic ran free from them. This was the most powerful they had ever felt. For so long, they thought they were terrible at magic, but this felt like power.

Lian took a deep breath and finally felt in control. Mercedes and Melchior kept the drake distracted. Besnik tore bones from the drake. Lucio tried to climb the weakened beast. 

 In a last desperate attempt, the bones lifted and formed a tight ball and shook Lucio off. Lian ran and caught Lucio. “You get yourself in the worst spots.”

“I’m doing fine, thank you very much.”

Lian set Lucio down as the ball started throwing out randomly, sending out bone spears. Lucio dodged them with practiced ease. Lian burned them before they could get anywhere near Lian.

Lian ran towards the ball of bones. They swung their flaming sword, burning through the bones as if they were cutting butter.  The ball split just wide enough for them to reach in and grab hold of the gem. 

The bones clamped down around Lian’s arm. The sharp pieces pierced their flesh, and the heavier bits crushed their bones. Lian could feel the bones in their arm beginning to crack under the pressure. Orange magic crawled into their arm. Lian’s screams were stolen by the bones as they lost consciousness. An ancient magic kept Lian’s mind from slipping to any place even slightly pleasant. 

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lian was dropped, but not on strange sand. Rather thick carpet. The cave looked younger somehow. The stone walls, less weathered and the archway Lian had made, were gone. 

“Get out of my home!”

A young person ran over to Lian and started to attack. Their hair was wild waves of black, and their eyes were almost reptilian. Sharp-clawed gauntlet slashed at Lian. Lian tried to dodge the blows, but their arm still ached like the bones were still digging in, but the bones were nowhere. 

Lian asked, “Why are you fighting me?”

Lian jumped out of the way of another slash and summoned a fire shield. The person was dressed in thick red Robes. Red and yellow war paint covered their arms and faces. Their voice rang with a familiarity Lian couldn’t pinpoint, "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS TRESSPASSING NOW FIGHT ME, COWARD.” 

Lian sighed and summoned their sword and leapt over their fire shield. “ I don’t want to fight you. I didn't know I was trespassing.”

“YOU STEP INTO THE CAVE OF THE RED DRAGON WITHOUT EXPECTING TO FIGHT THE RED DRAGON WARRIOR. YOU'RE A FOOL.”

Lian felt like they agreed. The warrior was faster, stronger, and more skilled than Lian. The only card Lian had was their magic. Lian blasted the warrior with a fireball, knocking them into the cave wall. 

The warrior came at them full speed. Their claws leave deep gashes across Lian’s arm. Lian spun, leaving a gash of their own. They took a deep breath. They didn't even know why this vision was happening. They tried to heal the cut across their arm, but their magic wouldn't listen. 

Lian tried a fireball. That also failed. “Have you lost touch with your mystic? Tch, weakling.”

A muddy feeling covered their body a weight pressed into their chest. They tried to ignore it and kept on fighting. Their fire that covered the sword flickered and disappeared. 

“I will not fight the weak. I fear there would be no joy in that battle, but your sacrifice is commendable, mystic. What do the powers call you?” 

“I’m Lian."

“The powers call me the red dragon, protector of Turske, but you can call me Agora. Do you mean this place harm?”

“No.”

“Good, I would have had no choice but to fight you to the death. I swore to protect this place, and I'd give my life for it.”

The cave shook and…

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Lian was dropped from the bone ball. The bones crumbled dust forced Lian to close their eyes. They had the Heart. That was what was important. Their sword slipped from their hand, and they braced to land against the hard, jagged stone. 

The air froze for a moment.  A weight pressed into Lian’s chest. Their magic buried itself into their being. It sucked itself so far in that the magic felt like it had disappeared.

“ We have to get to them before something bad happens. We both heard the scream. ”

“ I told you I don't want to go in there. ”

“ Please, Muriel, I need you with me. Besides, we can defend each other. Think of what Morga taught us. ”

Something caught them. Sharp metal cut into Lian’s back. They choked out a quiet statement. “They found us.”

Chapter Text

Lucio leaned them against the stones. “Hey, look at me, Lian.”

They tried to hold open their eyes as Lucio’s cold magic slid over their broken arm. The blood seeped onto Lucio’s hand, but he didn't flinch. Just continued to heal them. They took a deep breath as the healing fizz began. They wish they could stop the blood. Instead, they whispered the only thing they could think to say, “Thank you.”

Lian carefully set the heart in his lap and closed their eyes, trying to take back their magic. The more Lian chased their magic, the farther it seemed to burrow. Magic that felt like mud covered Lian. They felt like they were drowning in it. All they could do was open their eyes and listen to Lucio whisper something they couldn’t understand, “Descende de turri tua. After puram destructionem tuam. Praesentiam tuam imploro, Vulgora.”

A hot breeze shifted through the air, and A slow metallic clap filled the air. “YOU TWO KEEP SURPRISING US, ESPECIALLY THE LITTLE MYSTIC. I WAS SURE THE HEART WAS GOING TO CRUSH YOU TWO LIKE LITTLE PUNY PEBBLES.”

Their laugh rang in Lian’s head. Their voice had that same aching familiarity and intensity that Agora had. Wait, Mystic, that's what Agora called me.

Before Lian could voice their observations or even think through the theory properly. Footsteps approached like the rush of a river. Two familiar faces stood at the archway. Asra and Muriel. Their eyes carried deep-set circles, and weathered clothes clung to them like a desperate prayer.  They looked like how Lian felt: wrecked.

The muddy magic felt thicker when they entered. Lucio handed Vulgora the heart. Lucio’s taunting laugh fed the tension, “I hope you don’t try to stop us. It didn’t work out too well for you last time.”

Lucio walked over to Lian. Vulgora decided to go after Muriel and Asra. He knelt next to them. Lucio’s goat-esque figure was back as their magic had gotten sucked away. His sharp, dark eyes scanned over them. Lian had to find the source of the power drain. “Lian, what's going on?”

 His voice was earnest and quiet. Lian wished they had an answer. They closed their eyes. The only thing they could draw up was a memory.

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

Asra carefully tied a necklace around Maddy’s neck. “This necklace will keep you safe always and from everything.”

✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠ ——— ✠

That everything felt like it was ringing in their ears. They hoped they were, but they had to see. “The… necklace.”

The words barely slipped past their lips. Besnik and the dogs padded over. Lucio cut the string of the necklace with his gauntlet. The necklace fell to the ground. They waited to be proven that they were just paranoid. Then slowly the muddy magic fell off. Their fire came back full force. Hot tears burned their eyes. That necklace was a gift. No… it was a lie.

Lian didn't hold back the tears. They just quietly let them fall. Lian breathed as deeply as possible, but it didn't quiet what felt like another stab to the back. Asra never told Lian they could remove Lian’s magic whenever they wanted. They watched as Asra held tight to a magic shield, trying to protect Muriel and themselves from Vulgora’s vicious onslaught. Thin cracks appeared on the water-like surface.  Part of Lian thought they deserved it.

More footsteps approached. They were heavier, like they were running. Lucio checked over the healing spell. A spear hit the stone, and the sound rang like a war drum through the cave, pulling everyone's attention. An older woman stood at the archway with a sharp spear and an even sharper scowl. It was Morga. Why are they chasing us? Is Asra trying to take me back? They surely wouldn't.

Tears burned behind their eyes, but Lian was too tired. They didn't have the energy to deal with the idea of Asra enlisting the help of that crazed woman just to take them back.

Lucio hoisted Lian up onto Besnik. Morga called out a name. The cry of an eagle sounded overhead. Lucio tensed and hurried to get on Besnik. Mercedes barked aggressively at the bird. “I think now is a great time to leave.”

Lian nodded and leaned against Lucio. Coarse fur brushed against their face. The healing magic still fizzed. All Lian could bring themselves to do was recast the illusion and spell that kept Lucio on the bear.

A careful hand brushed down their arm. It lulled them to a soft, warm dream.

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I'm missing more chapters than I have the energy to catch up on....