Chapter Text
It was a stupid fight that ultimately wouldn't even amount to anything. The kind of fight that she got into with her mom constantly, but for some reason, especially around christmas.
Dess used to love Christmas, which was the thing that pissed her off the most. It was maybe the one thing that she and her mom could relate to. Seeing the joy on people’s faces when they opened their presents, especially Noelle. Nothing beat it.
… except maybe all the sweets.
But now she was out in the middle of the night, in the cold, again. She could barely even remember what the argument was about. Something about college, her mom had gotten her a fuckin math textbook as a “gift” so she could “get ahead on her studies.”
There was only one university she wanted to go to, the one Asriel was being shipped off to, the same one she had already gotten a rejection letter from a few weeks ago.
She tore it up before anyone could see. But she knew deep down, somehow, her mom knew she was fucked, and that textbook was just some petty way to rub it in.
And besides the point, she had been talking about how much she wanted the new Rude Busters vinyl for months! MONTHS! THIS WAS A BULLSHIT PRESENT AND SHE KNEW IT. Living at home with that monster was already a living hell, she had to make christmas, the one fuckin day a year where maybe they could function as a happy family, a nightmare too.
She hated doing that to her dad, doing that to Noelle, but she had her mother’s temper, and it was either “storm off into the snow shouting obscenities” or break something.
Dess pulled a cigarette out of the pack in her jacket. She always had to keep them on her person or her mom would have them in the trash before she could even get a word in. She lit it, and took a long drag. She loved her new lighter, a gift from Asriel, metal, windproof, probably from her favorite surplus store. It made a lovely noise when you opened or closed the lid. Which she was almost constantly doing in the pocket of her jacket. Engraved on it was an annoying message.
“Don’t get cancer!”
- Love, Azzy
She snorted, reading it again. God, what a dork.
She wanted to go visit him, but she had already ruined one christmas, and she didnt want to fuck up the Dreemurrs’ as well. Especially with the, uh, marital problems, they had been having. And how this was probably Asriel's last Christmas in Hometown. She shook her head at the thought; that was not something she needed to think about right now. It would only make her cry, and the angel knew she was already barely holding back tears.
She took another drag of her cigarette, a nice distraction, and flicked some of the ash into the snow below her. It was getting really cold.
She was glad she had managed to grab her jacket before running off. It was a vintage paratrooper camo from her favorite surplus store, built for the elements and survival. She had stolen her mom’s credit card to buy it, which had caused them to get into yet another big fight when it arrived.
That bitch wouldn't have even realized the money had been taken from her account!! Well, if it wasn't for her "disappointment of a daughter” sporting a sick new jacket. But who cares?! The money was way better spent on this than yet another stupid Christmas animatronic!!! Whatever, it looked great on her and when the end came (which it will!), she would be the one with camouflage.
She had been walking for a while now, having forgotten her phone in the chaos of the fight, she only had the birds and the wind to listen to, and the birds were especially quiet tonight. Whatever, she was pretty sure her mom had one of those "find my phone" trackers hidden on it so she could stalk her at all times, so it was probably for the best. Her cigarette was now nothing more than a butt, and the cold was starting to bite at the ends of her fingers.
She guessed it was time to turn back. Hopefully she could run past everyone and make it to her room, if her mom hadn't removed the door, again. The last time that had happened she ended up crashing on the Dreemurrs’ couch for like two weeks, not that she was complaining. That house always felt so warm, maybe she would crash there tonight. Toriel was nothing but kind, even if Dess could often read the frustration behind her eyes when she was overstaying her welcome. And it would be nice to see Azzy.
She turned around, only to realize she had no idea where the hell she was.
She was in the woods, obviously, but no part she recognized. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was walking but she didn't think she had been walking long enough to be somewhere entirely new.
The snow was reaching up to her shins and she didn't see light from any nearby roads. But it was fine, this was fine. There was no reason to panic and there was definitely no reason to yell for help. It had been snowing, but she could just follow her tracks, there’s no way they had already been covered.
She was able to follow her tracks for about 5 minutes, before they disappeared.
Fuck. FUCK. Ok, this was fine, just, uh, she remembered reading something on one of her survivalist websites about following the stars? Like monsters used to do before the days of cars and GPS. The one that pointed east was … Capricorn? She thinks? Or was it Leo? One of the two. But was that dependent on the season? Shit it didn't matter, she would just pick one and follow it.
It had been hours. She had no fucking clue what either constellation looked like so she just picked the one that maybe kinda vaguely looked like a lion. And it was hard to see anything though the clouds, the falling snow that had only seemed to increase in density. She couldn't feel her hands anymore, no matter how much she tried to warm them up with her breath, and her legs felt like rubber from trudging in the snow. She was exhausted, she was fucking terrified, but she would not scream for help. She would not give her mother the satisfaction of sending out the cops, scouring the woods only to find her idiot daughter who had gotten lost on Christmas night after running away from home. She would hold this over her head for the rest of her life. And there was no fucking way she was letting that happen. Dess tried to grab the lighter from her pocket, maybe holding the flame to her hands could help warm them up. But her fingers were numb and the moment she took it out, it fell into the snow.
That was it, she couldn't hold it in anymore, she began to weep, tears falling into the snow, she collapsed onto her knees, holding her head in her hands as her sobs echoed around the empty woods.
More time had passed, she couldn't feel her feet now, or her hands, or her face. The tears that ran down her face had frozen in place. But she wouldn't let this be the end. She kept walking. She had managed to get her lighter back, after dropping it a few more times. Her fingers were too frozen to flick it on, but its presence alone was a comfort. She had to get back, even with everything, she had people she cared about, people who cared about her, this was not going to be how December Holiday died.
Something came into view in the distance, shelter, literally, the shelter or bunker or whatever it was at the south side of town. She had tried to break into it with Asriel a few times, but the doors always remained shut, even that one time she used a crowbar.
But now, its doors were wide open, and the faint glow of warmth came from inside.
She knew it was stupid, walking into an abandoned building in the middle of the night, especially when she knew where she was now. Home was only a little ways away, but she felt sick, she felt like she was dying. She needed to get warm now or she was legitimately concerned she might die. She stumbled her way through the double doors, barely able to keep herself standing up, her legs barely responding to her commands to keep moving! But eventually she made it, her boots making contact with the concrete floor. In front of her, stairs descended endlessly. And far at the bottom, a promise of warmth, a fire glowed shades of pink and yellow. She limped forward, reaching the first step. She felt her body give way, falling down flights of steep steps, impact after impact causing her bones to crack and her skin to tear.
Behind her, the sound of doors slamming closed.