Chapter Text
Alfred Pennyworth-
Alfred Pennywoth’s service as a gentleman’s gentleman (the common phase is butler) for the Wayne family has never been ordinary nor predicable. Early on, Alfred pledged to never let anything unsettle him or interfere with his duties. To that end, Alfred prepared dinner, knowing Master Bruce would be exhausted, but too stubborn to admit or show it after a night as Batman. He had water boiling for tea and a wonderful dumping soup prepared and ready to reheat at a moment’s notice, since there was no way to predict when the man would return The smell of fresh bread filled his kitchen and should still be warm when Master Bruce finally appeared. Alfred was just preparing the teapot for himself; it was too early for Master Bruce, when the silent alarm in the medieval weapons gallery went off.
“Now, what in the world could that be?” the Englishman said to himself as he dried his hands. Better investigate before whatever it was become an inconvenience for Master Bruce.
Though he advanced cautiously, nothing seemed out of place and no other alarms had sounded. Master Bruce called, interrupting his patrol of the city to check on the situation. Alfred assured him that he could handle the intruder, whoever they may be, so there would be no need for the Batman to come to the rescue. After promising to call if this was not the case, Batman gave in.
A quick sweep of the perimeter showed that all the alarms were functioning correctly, no mechanic malfunctions or sabotage. Only the motion sensors in the gallery registered movement.
As Alfred came to this conclusion, Master Dick called to check in; apparently he was still connected to the manor’s defenses and worried for his old caretaker. Honestly, did they all think he was helpless? He’d have to think of a suitable punishment for their lack of faith. Maybe he would stop baking scones for a few weeks.
With a sigh at their folly, he finally headed to the source of the problem. The door to the gallery stood open, and Alfred knew he had closed it last time he cleaned. Conclusion: someone was inside, which concurred with the tripped motion sensors.
“Pardon me,” Alfred said into the heavy silence. “No one is permitted inside here without Master Bruce’s expressed permission. I must ask you to leave.”
“Huh?” a masculine voice from over by the Japanese displays. The man sounded annoyed, but not particularly hostile.
“I said that you are trespassing,” the Englishman stated as calmly as he could. He could barely make out the outline of a man and he didn’t want to aggravate the intruder before he knew what he was dealing with.
The stranger came out into the light, revealing the oddest young man Alfred had ever seen. His musculature rivaled even Batman’s and his open green robe revealed a vicious scar across his chest. That wasn’t his only scar either; one eye was sealed shut by yet another scar, giving him a rakish look. However the scars weren’t his oddest feature, which was his bright green hair. He was armed with three katana, and moved with a grace that told Alfred that he knew how to wield them. He seemed very out of place among the Wayne Family antiques and his youth was revealed by the pout on his face. The poor boy was lost.
Alfred waited patiently for the man to respond. He didn’t quite look like a villain, at least not one that has ever come across Batman’s radar. He believed that he wouldn’t need Batman and Nightwing’s help with this intruder, which was certainly positive. He hated to take them from their nightly escapades.
The man sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “My crew got lost and I was looking for them when I wandered in here. I started looking at the weapons here but the door keeps moving and I couldn’t get out.”
“The door was moving?” Alfred asked, bewildered. Briefly he wondered if Master Bruce had done some renovations, but quickly dismissed the idea. He wouldn’t have done that without telling Alfred, probably.
“I wasn’t lost,” he said defensively.
“I see, well perhaps I can help with that. Where do you wish to go?” Alfred asked, wanting to help the poor man. He seemed very frustrated and slightly embarrassed.
The man growled. “I don’t know. Nothing looks right around here. I need to find my captain.”
“And who is your captain?”
“Straw-hat Luffy, the pirate,” he said, turning to look out the window. “He’ll show himself, don’t worry. Wherever there is trouble, that’s where I’ll find Luffy.”
“I see, and you are?” Alfred asked, letting his curiosity show.
“Roronoa Zoro,” the green haired man said with a bow. “Uh, pleasure to meet you.” He added awkwardly, like he wasn’t used to being polite.
Alfred inclined his head in return. “Alfred Pennyworth, at your service.”
“Thanks, mister. Hey, sorry about the trespassing. I’ll be going now,” the man turned and opened the door to the closet. With a muttered curse, he slammed it. “At least I will if the damn doors stop moving.”
Alfred flinched at the damage to the door, which now sported a large crack through the hard wood. Zoro didn’t seem to know his own strength. “Now, lad, don’t be so hard on the manor. Let’s just have a spot of tea and you can tell me about that captain of yours. Maybe I know someone who can help you find your way.”
With minimal grumbling, Alfred led Zoro out of the gallery and immediately turned to retreat to the kitchen. Zoro however stood frowning at the door like it had insulted him and turned the opposite way and started walking with remarkable confidence considering he had been lost in a room full of glass cases and two clearly marked exits.
Alfred knew how to deal with proud young men from experience, so when he ordered Zoro to stop, the pirate obeyed. “Mr. Roronoa, please refrain from wandering on your own. I will lead you to the kitchen and we can have a civilized cup of tea,” he said sternly, not looking away from the piercing gaze from the man’s one eye. He had been staring down Batman since Master Bruce was a toddler; a green haired swordsman wasn’t enough to make him back down.
Zoro nodded and came to heel remarkably quickly but Alfred soon learned that nothing was simple with pirates. They had only made it halfway down the hallway toward the master staircase when Alfred noticed that his guest was missing again. A quick search found the man standing in the library looking lost again.
“Where did you go?” Zoro accused.
“I went nowhere, young man. You wandered off,” Alfred retorted dryly. “Please try to stay with me this time.”
They left the library and made it to the stairs but at the bottom of the stairs Alfred looked up to see Zoro climbing to the next level. A terse, shouted argument later, Zoro was back with Alfred on the ground floor and this time Alfred swore to keep the swordsman in line: by keeping him in front and telling him which way to head. This also didn’t work as Zoro invariably turned the opposite way Alfred wanted him to. Finally, they reached the kitchen and Alfred manhandled the pirate into a chair with orders not to move. He prepared some Japanese-style green tea (guessing Zoro’s preference based on the katana) and after serving them both a cup, sat down with a sigh across from his guest.
The Englishman took a soothing sip of his tea. After Master Bruce’s training in Japan, Alfred always kept a supply of this tea ready. It always seemed to have a calming effect on the rare times that Master Bruce allowed himself to relax. It seemed to have the same effect on this young man.
Zoro deeply inhaled the fragrant steam. “I haven’t tasted tea like this since the dojo,” he said quietly.
“I’m pleased you like it,” Alfred said, as he set down his cup. “Isn’t this a tad more civilized? Now, let’s hear your story, Mister Roronoa.”
Zoro closed his eye as he cradled the cup and took a sip. He sighed in contentment. “Won’t hurt to explain, but I’m not real good at telling stories. That’s Usopp’s thing.”
“Well, do your best. I’m in no hurry,” Alfred encouraged.
“We were sailing on the Grand Line in our ship, the Thousand Sunny, when Nami started yelling about a storm. It picked up out of nowhere and next thing I know we were all blown off the ship, except Franky, he was in the docking system below deck. I tried to keep track of people but the wind stole my breath so I couldn’t breathe and I passed out. When I woke up I was in a strange city.” The swordsman shrugged and took another sip of tea. “I decided to look for everyone and started walking. After a couple of short cuts, I found my way into that room with all the weapons. I stopped to look at the swords and that’s when you found me.” He looked at the butler, his eye deadly serious.
Alfred had to admit he was surprised by the tale, though he did not show it. Nor did he disbelieve it. In his time serving Master Bruce he had seen and heard stranger things. Problem was he wasn’t sure how to help the young man, and he clearly needed assistance. He deliberated if this was a case for the Batman.
He must have taken too long to ponder the situation, because his guest scowled at him. “It’s all true,” Zoro grumped. “I’m not a liar like Usopp.”
“No, no, of course you’re not,” Alfred reassured him. “I’m considering how to help you find your compatriots. How many of you are there?”
“Nine,” Zoro said regaining his calm.
“It seems small crew for a pirate ship,” Alfred commented.
“It works for us.” Zoro held up a hand and started to count off his fingers. “Luffy, the captain; Nami, she’s the navigator; Ussop is our liar and sniper; Curly-brow, the shit-cook; Chopper is the ship’s doctor; Franky’s the shipwright, there’s Robin and Brook’s the musician.”
“Impressive,” Alfred observed. “You all must be very strong.”
Zoro grinned, it was actually kind of frightening, like Batman’s glare. “Yeah, we’re infamous. Every one of us has a bounty. Mine is 120 million beris. Luffy’s is up to 400 million after his trouble at Marineford.”
“Indeed,” Alfred said, impressed despite the fact that it meant he was sitting before a wanted man. Though he remembered quite clearly when he worked for a wanted man; thank goodness Batman was in the GCPD’s good graces now. He was just about to ask more about this unusual crew when he received a call from Batman.
“What is the situation there?” the crime fighter asked. He sounded annoyed about something, not that anyone else would be able to tell any difference from his usual gruff tone.
“I have everything in hand, sir. An unexpected guest got lost in the manor and he was just confiding his circumstances to me,” Alfred explained calmly. He didn’t want to alarm Master Bruce by bringing up the bounties, but he did want to share about the fascinating visitor.
“Get off,” Batman growled over the line, completely throwing off Alfred’s train of thought.
“Sorry, sir?” Alfred asked, feeling as lost as Zoro was earlier.
“Forget it. Is your guest a pirate?” Batman asked.
“Yes, sir, how did you know?” Alfred exclaimed, impressed as always at Master Bruce’s deductive skills.
“They seem to be prevalent tonight. Nightwing will be there soon. Don’t let the pirate leave until then.” Batman ordered.
“Yes, sir. We are just sharing a spot of tea,” Alfred said with a smile at his green haired guest, who seemed to be ignoring him. “It might help to know that he said that there are nine of them.”
“It will help,” Batman sighed. “Hopefully your charge is less trouble than my own. Get down from there! Batman out.”
The line cut off and Alfred smiled to himself. It sounded like Master Bruce had an interesting guest of his own. Now there was nothing to do except wait for Master Dick. In the meantime, “So, tell me more about yourself, Zoro. Why do you carry three katana?”