12 Works in Borderlands (Video Games) Humor
Listing Works
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Ness thinks there might be something really wrong with Kaiser. Can he help him? Or will Kaiser destroy both of them before he has a chance?
The Ness-centric disaster romance bringing chaos, angst, and smut to your Fridays as long and real life permits. Now with chapter titles in case you get lost just like the author did.
Update 9/26/2025: Hey, everybody! Lorenzo's back!
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We men are wretched things.
- Homer, The IliadRECOMMENDED READING: The entire JFV series up to this point - but if you must limit yourself, then Jakobs Family Values chapter 26, chapter 27 and chapter 23 should suffice.
Series
- Part 11 of JFV Universe
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Nattsudd by Mauser_Frau
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games), Blue Lock (Manga), Yeah I went there - Fandom
09 Aug 2025
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If you’re here from Borderlands Fandom: The Calypso Twins hire a pair of hunters to take care of some murdering they just don’t have time for. They’re devilishly handsome AND unhinged— a combination that surely won’t cause any problems.
If you’re here from Blue Lock Fandom: AU where Ness and Kaiser live on the grubbiest planet imaginable and do murders for some sus cult leaders.
Strictly in its own universe, but Pandora picked up some off-model traits from my other fics. We’re serving trickster Troy tonight.
Update 8/9/2025: We got to the smut! Note that much of the remaining chapters are that as well, but as you do.
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A MOST RIVETING ARRANGEMENT OF SNIPPETS FROM AN ADJACENT NARRATIVE
FEATURING FAMILY, RUTHLESS CAPITALISM AND THE HORROR INDUCED AGONY OF REALITY
KEEP YOUR RIBCAGE SHUT AND YOUR MIND UNWOUND
PUBLISHED BY [REDACTED], A SUBSIDIARY OF THE JAKOBS CORPORATIONA Borderlands rewrite, with a twist. No, several twists. More twists than... a pack of cinnamon rolls? If cinnamon rolls were full of tentacles and space magic, that is.
Rated M for roughly the same reasons the Borderlands games are rated as such.
Content warnings distributed on a per-chapter basis, please familiarize yourself with the chapter summary before reading a chapter. Assume spoilers for any and all "new" Borderlands content (except the movie lol) because I am *that* kind of guy.
New chapters roughly every 2 weeks.
If you have any questions or suggestions about this fic, please shoot me an ask on my tumblr @wainwrightjakobshammerlock.
Series
- Part 3 of JFV Universe
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Two old men bathe together.
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TFTBL AU: Just wing it! (Season 1 Ep 5) by shinakazami1
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
29 Aug 2024
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Rhys was a programmer, so maybe he wanted to eat pizza as his last meal. Sad and pathetic, but plausible.
"You could get into that blade and let me cut you in half."
"Okay!"
Every step Rhys took to the machine was filled with such overenthusiasm, that it made Jack sick. Where was the fun in just watching the guy joyfully walk into the blades? Typically, there was something in such acts - heck, he paid Rhys the price of making him a CEO for ten minutes so he would just get killed but…Where was the fun in that?
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A TFTBL AU where, starting from episode 5, a small little plan changes the course of the story and the universe.Series
- Part 1 of Just Wing It TFTBL AU
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The Devil went down to Georgia
He was lookin' for a soul to steal
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind
And he was willing to make a deal
I suppose you think you’ve heard every story in the stars by now...
RECOMMENDED READING: JakobsEstate.sav, Jakobs Family Values up to at least chapter 22, Form & Function.
Series
- Part 8 of JFV Universe
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Rhys AI AU Drabbles by shinakazami1
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games), Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
08 Mar 2024
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One night, not too long after killing the resistance members who manipulated his daughter into sacrificing herself for them, Jack woke up, raising his head, confused by all the code right in front of him. As he read it, he realised he had written a rough outline for an AI assistant the day before. Staring at the screen for long enough, he called his secretary to free the next week of meetings and before they could say anything, he hung up and started to polish the code.
Because what type of hero would you be, if you didn't have your sidekick?
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A series of small drabbles for one of my Borderlands AUs to try to get myself back to writing :] -
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Tyreen and Troy struggle to get their little cult off of the ground. A chance encounter as they approach the seashore might change their luck, but what is Tyreen hiding and how much more trouble will it cause?
The final story in the Satellite arc. Second arc on Pandora pending.
Update 3/17/2023: And that's another wild ride concluded with most limbs intact! Thank you for reading, everyone!
Series
- Part 10 of Grimeverse: The Satellite Arc
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Alistair and Wainwright get married. Again. This time: not in the stomach of a Vault Monster, not stained in blood, and in proper goddamn suits.
Series
- Part 2 of JFV Universe
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Reach For The Sky, Shoot Between The Eyes by rhysothy
Fandoms: Borderlands (Video Games)
18 Sep 2022
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The Vault Hunters receive a strange, "anonymous" ECHO.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,070
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 35
- Hits:
- 184
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Sir Alistair Hammerlock and Wainwright Jakobs are getting married.