18 Works by TheOnlyHuman in Dream SMP
Listing Works
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are you smelling this shit, eau de résistance by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP
02 May 2025
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Summary
When fairytale-like stories were woven for things happening on real soil, the desired endings were rarely met. Eret was proof of that; weary, haggard, molded by war-death-fear. They seldom lingered in one place, always on the move. Always leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.
The night they stumbled upon a hamlet in a small country, they forgot why they always moved on. They settled down, prepared to join L'Manberg's fight for freedom.
It took them very little time to remember why they did not stay in the towns they passed by. The white eyes of death did not bring peace with them.
or,
once a child soldier; always a soldier, never a child. eret is broken but at least they break everything they play with.Chapters 1-19 = L'Manberg/SMP [Arc 1]
Chapters 20-26 = Interlude
Chapters 27-current = The Antarctic Empire [Arc 2]Series
- Part 6 of eret is traumatised collection
- Part 1 of vissna
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Eret is the Lord Consort. When the Emperor is indisposed, they lead the Empire. This is common knowledge.
Their enemies know this, as well, and one of them aims to take out the Lord Consort whilst the Emperor is not in sight. It does not end well for anyone.
aka, eret gets poisoned and philza is pissed off ft. ot6 poly and the unfortunate long-lasting effects of managing to poison a god-blessed being
Series
- Part 1 of olsow spin off au fics
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Summary
Low-class noble, Foolish of Cail, attends the Autumn Ball in hopes of quietening his Mother's raving for him to find a wife. Unexpectedly, the Crown Prince of the Empire is there. Things take an unexpected turn.
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Sitting on the gold throne, they rose their hand and bent their finger.
Foolish’s heart thundered in his chest. Unsure, he rose his hand and pointed to himself.
The Crown Prince nodded.or, Foolish is called upon by the Crown Prince. He has no choice but to obey.
Series
- Part 3 of eret is traumatised collection
- Part 1 of Lagom
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Summary
Broke and sleeping on park benches, Eret is desperate for a job. So desperate, in fact, that she'll risk having to deal with someone else's kids if it means she has a roof over her head.
Puffy is a wealthy businesswoman who needs a maid, a cook and someone to make sure her kids don't fall off the face of the earth. She gets Eret, who's five wrong minutes away from actually falling off the face of the earth.
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or, the maid/nanny/house manager au which is actually found family <3 the work-life balance does not exist and her boss's family are trying to adopt her
Eret finds people who care for her. -
the f̶a̶l̶s̶e̶ king by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, DreamSMP
29 Sep 2023
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Summary
"To think my King would go behind my back and send supplies to the enemy? I didn't want to believe it at first."
He kicked her again. The force with which he laid down the blows suggested he was not holding back. He hadn't even let her get a word in.
Or,
Dream dethrones Eret in favour of George. Eret is kicked out, injured and weak. They find themself on a stranger's doorstep.
Series
- Part 1 of 𝖕𝖊𝖔𝖕𝖑𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊
- Part 1 of eret is traumatised collection
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The Anarchist Babysitter by GudsBarn, TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
16 Jul 2023
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Summary
“Thank you so much for doing this,” Foolish said, handing off a small backpack of stuff. Technoblade took it without question, setting it on the floor quickly to clear his arms for the tyke the other god was bouncing on his hip.
"No worries."
- Technoblade agrees to babysit Eret ft. surprise visitors.
Series
- Part 2 of the Arctic Commune
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Summary
Pirates are dangerous. They roam the high seas and steal from the King and Empire. They are heartless and cruel monsters who are better suited to a swaying noose than a jail cell.
Ranboo never expected to become a pirate. Nor did he expect them to treat him better than anyone else had.
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Eret is the lone tailor of a lone town perched in a mountainside. Wilbur is the mysterious musician who sits in the town square and scares everyone away with his droll tune.
They meet. They talk. A friendship blossoms but like life, nothing is eternal.
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Technoblade had intended to visit the desert to recruit another god to their Syndicate, not to end up looking after a regressed, toddler-aged Eret
- little ! eret ft cg ! foolish and sudden baby sitter techno and phil
Series
- Part 1 of the Arctic Commune
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According to the Academy's textbooks, there are no living Rangers who have the mental ferocity to Solo Pilot. The neural load was made to be split; everyone says it can't be done, that any Ranger who does is an anomaly. The Ranger who actively solo pilots on a regular occurrence - Eret, lone Jaeger pilot of Mark III Jaeger 'Eternal' - should be dead.
That doesn't change the fact that someone can solo pilot without frying their brain. Ranboo clings onto this whenever a kaiju kills his partner. He can avenge Tubbo - if only his Marshal would let him pilot his Jaeger alone.
Ranboo's normal, the other pilots spit in his face, the neural load would fry his brain - but Ranboo can't take no for an answer unless he wants to shatter apart into a million tiny pieces.
In response, they ship him off to Anchorage Shatterdome to meet his new mentor: Eret.
OR, Pacific Rim solo piloting au: Eret mentors Ranboo on how to do the impossible. Neither are okay, but they don't need to be to beat the shit out of the monsters that threaten humanity. Momret and kidboo.
Series
- Part 4 of eret is traumatised collection
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you don't have to speak (i know your language better than my own tongue) by GudsBarn, TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
22 Oct 2022
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Summary
Eret age regresses when visiting the summer home. Foolish looks after her:
A shadow fell over her closed eyes, and she opened them to find her baba standing over her, looking really reeaallllly tall.
“Heya, little one,” he chuckled, voice big and boomy and heavy in that nice way she super-dooper liked.- tldr; agere, nonverbal eret with big softie caregiver foolish
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i've got nothing left to give you but my love (i'll dig my heart out if i have to) by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
15 Oct 2022
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Summary
With winter, comes its chill. Sitting in a cold hall all day, it's no wonder Eret gets sick.
It's fine, she says to herself. Just a cold.
Just a cold, agrees Foolish.
She's bedridden within the day.
It's not just a cold.or, the eret sickfic that i've been desperately wanting for years
Series
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Eret's an old vampire who's been living by herself for years. She's all alone, until suddenly, she isn't. Then, she seems to attract people in a horde.
These people, she holds dear.
__“State your reason for bothering me,” Eret demanded.
The human swallowed. “I ask that you bite me.”
“Do you know the consequence of such?”tldr; vampire eret keeps biting people who stick around and ends up with a family <3
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Eret, Child of Brine, Eyesight of Eras, Eater of Chaos, sets her eyes on General Totem. Foolish.
Her life crescendos because of this.
[see eret's life from infatuation to SMP Earth to, finally, the Dream SMP]
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“My throne is built on blood, Dream,” Eret grinned; smiling wide and ugly, cruelty glittering in her eyes, canines sharp with the lustful scent of death. “I built this castle on greed. I paved my own floor with the bodies of the fallen. This is my Kingdom. This is my castle. This is my legacy!”
or, what if Eret didn't regret betraying L'Manberg.
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gonna sleep cause you live in my dreams/ you're always too busy to be with me by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Dream SMP
26 Feb 2022
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Summary
Living in a gangland is hard enough, nevermind the fact that Eret has to deal with a rowdy four year old girl, a crowd-pleaser six year old boy and then, fully grown men who should know better. Foolish is her saviour, because he's always been there, but sometimes even the saviour has a part in the downfall of the protagonist.
or, Eret's stressed, she has a really bad day and Foolish and his kids love her dearly <3
aka, this is eret angst ft lots of crying :)
Series
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abrogation by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
09 May 2021
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Summary
A trip to Cuba had been a long time coming.
Or,
Eret goes to check up on Arkhos' Cuban subset and brings Watson family and co. What's meant to be a peaceful three day trip turns into a rollercoaster straight from hell.
But, really, what did they expect with Tommy there?
mafia au :)
Series
- Part 4 of arkhos
- Part 8 of eret is traumatised collection
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strøm imperium erő by TheOnlyHuman
Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP, Video Blogging RPF
11 Mar 2021
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Summary
Eret is offered a little more than a throne in return for betraying their friends. This offer comes from someone not even the oldest tomes speak of, ancient writers too afraid to whisper its name in fear of curse.
or,
When Eret gets the throne they take kingship a step too far.
Tyrant/Emperor Eret au + magic/gods