Chapter Text
Dave P.O.V.
About three days after Dirk told me that Karkat was ready to work on things, I finally came up with an idea. I can’t say for sure it was going to be perfect but it definitely felt right to me and that was what mattered. I rushed home to Dirk’s from the studio, the ice finally starting to melt enough on the sidewalks that I could skateboard most of the way without issue. The chill air was actually really refreshing today too. Maybe it was just my excited energy, or it really was the weather, but it felt like things were starting to look up as a whole. I could do this.
I burst through Dirk’s door without warning. Maybe not my best idea since I catch him and Jake making out on the couch, but at least that was all they were up to. Everyone’s clothes were still on and that’s what mattered.
“Bro, knock first? Maybe?” Dirk groans from his spot under his boyfriend. Jake’s buried his head into Dirk’s neck, probably out of embarrassment or frustration with having been interrupted. I simply do not give enough of a shit to humor them today though.
“Nope. I’ve made a plan and I need to tell you about it right now.” I plant myself into the living room chair, which really was my only option with the couch fully occupied. I’m not a complete asshole so I give them a minute or two to adjust and sit the fuck up from their previous positions before I launch into the details.
“Okay, so what the blast is so damned important that you needed to barrel in here like that?” Jake asks once righted.
“I figured out how I’m going to apologize to Karkat and I’m going to need your help to do it. So are you in?” I feel like I’m practically bouncing out of my seat at this point.
“Well I’m gonna need a lot more detail than just that before I can promise anything. So what’s up? What exactly are you gonna need from us?” Dirk scratches his neck and twists it side to side to crack it.
“Well okay, so it’s gonna take at least two days to set up completely but I promise it’s perfect.” I gush. “I’m gonna set up a picnic on the roof of my apartment building-”
“The one we’re banned from strifing on?” Dirk then squints at me.
“That would be the one, yes. But we’re only banned from strifing, not picnicking. And it’s not like the landlord will ever find out if you stand guard, right?” I say with a ridiculous amount of conviction in my tone, trying to get Dirk to agree to it without asking him outright.
“You want me to fight anyone that comes up the fucking stairs? Or would I be buying you time to make an escape down the side of the building spiderman style in the middle of winter with Karkat on your back?” He deadpans.
“Okay so neither of those sound like good plans, but really I’d just want you to keep watch and convince anyone that tries to come up there that they shouldn’t bother.” I slide my legs to the side to hang off the arm of the chair, there was no way I could sit still and not fidget while I was this excited about something. Fucking ADHD am I right?
“And me just hanging out in the stairwell won’t seem suspicious at all?” Leave it to Dirk to find a way to poke holes in any plan I come up with literally ever.
“Maybe? Will you do it anyway?” I groan, not wanting to agonize over the maybes. We could be at this all day if I let him come up with too many fucking weird scenarios.
Dirk takes a long pause to think about it before sighing and nodding a little. “Yeah, okay. Fine I’ll do that for you.”
“Fuck yeah.” I cheer.
“Now, if I may ask, why the devil is it going to take two or three days to set up a simple picnic?” Jake chimes in.
“Because we’re going to make it nice and decorate it well and set up a gazebo thing in case it snows or something and hang lights from it. Trust me, I’ve got the details drawn up in my sketch book and it looks fucking amazing.” I assure them.
“Can I make one request about the ‘bouncer’ situation?” Dirk puts a single finger up to illustrate his sole request.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“I will only do this for you if you promise not to do anything really fucking stupid like trying to have makeup sex on the fucking roof.”
“WHAT? Are you fucking kidding me? I wouldn’t even dare! Why would you-”
Dirk just breaks out into loud laughter and Jake chuckles a little beside him.
“Bro, chill. I’m just yanking your chain. I’d hope you’d head back to your apartment if it did come to that anyways. You’re smarter than that.”
“Yeah. I also can’t even be sure if Karkat will even forgive me despite all of this, but I have to at least try.” I sigh and sit properly in the chair again.
Everyone in the room stays weirdly quiet and it doesn’t exactly ease my mind, but at the same time I don’t know if Dirk is at liberty to say anything about where Karkat is at mentally or whatever. Maybe they just don’t know what to say? Jake is kinda awkward like that when it comes to giving romantic advice as far as I can tell. As if on cue, he gets up and walks off to the kitchen, probably to start something for dinner for them since it’s about that time.
I shake it off and decide to press on and keep telling him more details about what I have in mind for the rooftop.
“So we’re also gonna need charcoal and a little bonfire that won’t put us at risk of actually lighting a fire or whatever. Safety first of course. Because it’s a picnic we’re gonna need sleeping bags or blankets or both. Something to keep us warm if the fire isn’t enough. Extension chords for all the electric pieces of course. I wanna get music up there somehow whether it be like a stereo or bluetooth or record player or what. I wanna be able to dance with him if it goes well.”
“That’s gay as fuck bro.” Dirk says while resting his head in his palm.
“I sure fucking hope so.” I roll my eyes at him. “It’s a little bit reminiscent of what he did for my birthday. He set up this blanket fort in my living room to surprise me and we watched movies and he put lights in there and shit. It was so goddamn cool. I wanna try to emulate and amplify that night.”
“Well, seeing as I wasn’t there for that, I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.” Smug bastard. I mock him in a whiny little voice, scrunching my nose the whole time and making ugly faces.
“Wan ther no fuckin clu talkin bou- trust me, its fucking peak and ill be the final judge on if its good enough, so we’ll find a way to make it work.”
It’s quiet for a long moment before Dirk speaks up again.
“You know if this works and you end up proposing someday you’re going to have to one up yourself at that point and do something even bigger than this.” Right as he says it, Jake walks past and perks up at the sound of it. I can’t tell if Dirk notices he’s there, but seeing that reaction tips me off immediately to the fact that Jake’s been considering marriage. The guy was basically an open book with text to speech on, in terms of his expressions.
“We’ll cross that bridge if and or when I get to it. Gotta make this up to him first and see if he’ll forgive me at all.” I reply, trying to keep my focus on Dirk.
Jake leans over the back edge of the couch where Dirk is sitting, resting his head on my brother's shoulder even. “Just give us specifics of what to get and I’m sure we can get it sorted for you. There’s nothing we can’t accomplish when we put our minds to it. And after all, I did sort of play a major part in messing this up for you, so the least I can do is lend a hand in how you plan to untangle it.”
“Thanks man, but it’s really not your fault. He would have found out eventually. I wish I’d been the one to tell him about it, but realistically I had all the time in the world to do that and just fucking didn’t.” I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I know I fucked this one up for me and I’m ready to own to that.
“Very mature of you.” Dirk comments, nodding a little in approval. It might be the proudest he’s sounded of me in months, and that only solidifies for me that I’m doing something right. Regardless of how it turns out, I can know that I did the best I could.
“Thanks man. I’ll get all the finer details picked out and text you guys a list of stuff to get over the next few days if that’s okay? I’ll pay you back of course.” I assure them.
“Don’t worry about it. Just send us the info and we’ll handle this.” Dirk says. Jake puts his hand on Dirk’s shoulder in a reassuring way and I watch Dirk reach up to grab his hand and hold it. They’re so fucking sweet to each other. I think for a moment how glad I am that they worked their shit out. It takes a moment before I recognize that I’m staring just a little. Fuck.
“Alright well then I’ll see you tomorrow probably?”
“Yeah man, just try to send a text before you barge in next time maybe?”
“Noted.” I nod.
The next few days go as according to plan as I could have possibly hoped for, and when the evening finally arrives I’m nervous as all fucking hell. The roof looks goddamn amazing. We managed to create a space that I can only really explain as ethereal, existing outside the realm of reality. We got the tent gazebo thing to cover the space, the lights to hang up around the spot. Better than a real bonfire, we got a space heater shaped like a bonfire. Plenty of blankets and comforters that would be able to keep us plenty warm during the evening. The record player that doesn’t have to be plugged in to a source but actually runs on batteries so that I can play vinyls for him. I made sure to pick a few albums that I knew were special to him and that he would really like.
I spent the majority of the morning being anxious about asking him over, only to get an immediate yes. The rest of the day was spent throwing in final touches and picking out what exactly we were going to eat. Whether or not I wanted to try and bring wine up or if that was too presumptuous. I eventually settled on a rose that I figured would be acceptable because it was on the cheaper end for wines and a red wine that would go well with the steak and chicken I’d spent hours marinating and then cooked for us. This was a stupidly fancy picnic, but Karkat deserved it.
When I say that I spared no expense, I literally mean that I also had candles of his favorite scents lit around the place to add to the ambiance and burnt some incense around the area to make sure that the whole place would be somewhat permeated with pleasant smells to really make it seem like it wasn’t just a shitty rooftop. I had thought of just about everything I could to make sure the experience was nothing but pleasant. I even picked out a fucking suit to wear. I mean a real suit. Not just a button down and some nice slacks, but the coat and vest and everything.
All I had to do now was settle on what I was going to say to him and have somewhat of a speech prepared. I had it all buzzing around in my skull but I needed to get it pinned down in some kind of decent order and make sure I had it worded decently. I really couldn’t afford to fuck this up any further.
Karkat P.O.V.
After sitting on my fucking ass the past few days, weeks, fuck knows how long it’s been since Dirk was at my apartment because time keeps dragging its feet through the proverbial mud, I finally got a message from Dave. It was a lot shorter and more to the point than what I was expecting, but that’s not a bad thing by any means. I expected him to be pouring his heart out to me via text and instead I got a very mature, very polite request to meet and talk in person. Since I had nothing better to do than sit around and wait for him to get his shit together, I responded immediately.
If Dave wanted to see me, then I’d be more than happy to meet him wherever and hear him out. I was plenty calmed down by now. It didn’t mean that I’d completely forgiven him, because he needs to understand how he fucked up and own to it. It did mean that I was giving him a chance though, and that made me nervous for some fucking reason. I probably didn’t want him to fail. Maybe I fucking missed him. Guess we’d wait and find out. I wasn’t really allowing myself to have big emotions about the potential of the night until I got to see exactly where Dave was at.
If I had to guess, he was probably just going to take me on a walk or have me sit down in his apartment or something so that we could talk things out. That was fine. I could handle that. He’d said to meet him around 7-ish and it was still winter, so I made sure to grab a coat that would keep me warm enough if we did end up going on a walk. I wasn’t about to give him any excuses to ‘be a perfect gentleman’ and lend me his coat or anything.
Really I was just a fucking mess. Look at all that shit. I clearly can’t make up my damn mind on where I stand with him at the moment. And with all the uncertainty I’m experiencing can you fucking blame me for being a mess? I wonder for a second if I should sort my own shit out first, but then it just circles back into me being unsure due to multiple potential outcomes of this time away from Dave. Hell is real, and it exists in my mind when I have to gauge how I should feel versus how I actually feel.
Enough mental rambling though, it was time to get the fuck on my way to Dave’s for whatever it was that he had planned for me tonight. I was dressed pretty plainly in some slacks, a little nicer than what I’d wear at work, and a thermal shirt that buttoned down only a little at the neckline. It was going to keep me warm and was a comfort to have. Naturally the big coat mentioned before was part of it, my snow boots, and a hoodie for under the jacket because it was really fucking cold.
I drove to his place and didn’t give myself the chance to freak the fuck out or change my mind about being there. I parked, got out of the car, and went straight up to his apartment without another thought. The cold was pretty good at distracting me so that I could only think about the sting on my fingers, after realizing I forgot gloves like an idiot.
When I finally make it to his door, I wrap the material of my sleeve over my knuckles and knock gently. My fucking pulse starts going apeshit almost immediately. Of course I couldn’t make it through the night without flipping out about seeing him again. Dave answers the door so quickly it’s as if he was waiting right there on the couch for me to arrive.
“Hey.” I spit out, sounding way more anxious than I’m even aware I’m feeling.
“Hey.” Dave responds in kind. He isn’t wearing his shades. I’m immediately locked on to his eyes because of it.
“You … gonna let me in?” I ask, trying to gauge exactly what he has in mind.
“Hm? Oh nah, follow me. I have something to show you before we get to the talking, if that’s okay.” He makes a motion with his arm and steps beside and then around me to head back towards the stairwell. I tilt my head a little in confusion but follow him anyways. As I do, I really start to take in his appearance and realize he’s wearing a fucking suit. I’ve never seen him in a suit. It’s kind of nice actually. I make a point to not stare at his ass, despite the fact that I know no one will see me doing it or notice or care. It’s about the principle of the matter. He can’t be gawked at until he apologizes.
“Dave where the fuck are you taking me?” I ask as we pass the elevator platform and head towards the stairwell itself, apparently heading upwards. He holds the door for me at least so that’s also something.
“Just trust me. I promise it’ll be okay.” He says as he starts making his way up the spiral staircase. I can’t help the scathing comment that comes to mind, and before I realize or can even attempt to filter it, it’s slipped out.
“Trust is what got us into this whole mess in the first place.” I huff. I immediately regret it because I know it’s a sore subject and it even pangs me in the chest to have said it at all.
“Okay then, just humor me, will you? Please? Let it be a step towards regaining trust maybe?” He offers his hand back to me as if he’s asking me to hold his hand while we ascend these stairs. That is stupidly unsafe so I brush off the gesture and keep moving in the direction he was leading me. He seems to be fine with that for now.
“Fine.” I grumble under my breath. He takes strides to make sure he’s ahead of me again and continues to lead me up and up and up. I have to assume whatever it is that he’s taking me to is on the top floor of the building because there’s no way he’s taking me to the fucking roof in the middle of winter.
We get to the last loop of stairs and I can tell that we’ve passed the top level. So actually yeah, he is taking me to the fucking roof in the middle of winter. I’m thinking of all the ways I could tell him off about how fucking stupid that is, when he opens the door to the roof access.
I get a gust of wind that would have made me shiver, if I hadn’t just been sweating in three layers of clothes up the fucking stairs in a heated building. In retrospect I should have expected that. What I hadn’t expected was the view. Before me, Dave has some kind of magical garden set up here and it’s so fucking beautiful. I start to wonder how long he was working on it, but quickly settle myself back down. I can’t forgive him just because he made the roof look really cute and cozy and nice. I have to hold my ground until he starts talking, no matter how much I want to throw myself into his arms right now.
But goddamn, I’m going to gush about it for a second, because it looks like he took someone’s winter garden pinterest board and plucked all of the perfect details from it to make something so specifically tailored to me and him. The lighting is subtle and the bulbs on the string lights are shaped like little stars which only makes them that much cuter to look at. If I were any less mad at him or any less strict on myself and my own emotions right now, I might be in complete and total awe.
I step further into the area he’s set up and take a spin just to really take it all in. I then turn back to face him. He’s beaming like he’s just seen something amazing. His whole expression lit up like it was on New Year’s Eve. It’s unfairly adorable and I have to look off to the side to tear my eyes away and keep my cool.
“So what do you think?” He asks, hands in his pockets as he rocks back and forth on his heels.
“It’s really nice.” I try to keep my tone flat.
“I’ll admit I was hoping you’d like it a bit more than that.” He looks extremely nervous again and glances around like he’s looking for something to be wrong with it.
“Okay yeah, it’s fucking gorgeous. But if you think that you can win me over with some cute decorations on your roof, you’d be better off going back home right now.” I don’t mean for that bit to come out as snippy as it does, but I guess it serves the purpose.
“No, no. I just, … wanted to take you somewhere special and I know our special places are like, … a dumpster and your work. So I created a new one for you. At least, I hope it’ll be special.” Dave explains. The way his cheeks tinge pink and his eyes try not to linger on mine for too long, it’s all very telling. He’s also fidgeting with his hands in front of him now, and I’m almost positive he doesn’t realize he’s doing it.
“So …. Are we talking up here then?” I ask, trying to move on. I won’t feed his hope until he apologizes. I can see the little flame of it there in his eyes and I need him to make shit right before I can fan it to full fire.
“Yeah! Yeah. If you’re alright with that.” He answers quickly and gestures to a padded spot on the ground like he wants us to sit.
“Dave. No offense. But I know you won’t be able to sit still and have this conversation. Do you just want to say what you have to say, and get it out of the way?” I try and succeed in keeping my tone just flat enough that he can’t tell what I’m thinking behind it. There’s a small voice in the back of my mind that makes a comment about it being easier to kiss him if we’re both standing too. I scrunch my nose a little and dismiss the thought because we’re not fucking going there just yet.
“Oh. Yeah, that’s fair. Thanks for thinking of me.” He gives an awkward finger gun point at me like he’s trying to be charming in some capacity. It’s ridiculous and somehow still manages to succeed in making me smile a little.
“So?” I urge him on, waving my arms a little to motion for him to keep talking.
“Fuck. Okay um- Sorry for swearing. I guess let’s just-. I’ll just start now, yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair and messes up the little coif that he’d managed to get in place. He then panics over that as well, trying to sweep it back in place. The secondhand embarrassment is palpable in the space between us, and I can’t help but crack a wider smile and scoff a little.
He must catch sight of it because he smiles as well and takes a deep breath.
“Alright. Karkat.” He puts his hands out stiffly in front of him, like he’s setting down an invisible box. Or maybe like he’s poorly mimicking a robot? I’m not sure.
“Dave.” I mimic his arm motion, and he groans and messes up his hair even more by running both hands through it. It’s a little bit funny to torture him like this.
“Why is this so fucking impossible? Why can’t I just talk to you?” He says, obviously more to himself than actually asking me.
“You could start by apologizing.” I say, stepping closer but still maintaining a polite distance and keeping my hands safely tucked into my coat pockets.
“You’re right. I know that. And you were right to be upset with me in the first place. I fucked up bad. I should have told you everything from the start, but because the bet was called off, I just hadn’t even thought about it. I was so wrapped up in being with you that I didn’t think it would matter. I didn’t consider your feelings about it. That was 100% my bad, and if you give me another chance I promise I won’t hurt you like that again.”
He takes a pause and I say nothing, because he still hasn’t delivered the words I’m sorry. Until I hear those, I won’t say a single thing to him. He takes it as a sign to keep going.
“Karkat, without you-... without you I’ve been a disaster. I’ve felt like half a person. Constantly missing something, and that something is you. I never want to make you feel uncared for or lied to ever again. And if you need to scream at me again to get it all out, I’ll gladly listen. I’ve been an idiot and a jerk, and just about every name in the book, and for that I am so very very fucking sorry. God. And not sorry that you found out, but sorry that I was too stupid to think of it any way aside from how I had. Sorry that I was being selfish and sorry that I wasn’t as open as I could have been from the start. I will do anything to make it right for you. Just say the words and I’ll do it, Karkat.” At this point he’s grabbed my hands and is holding them in front of him, but neither of us have stepped any closer to one another.
I’m almost in tears over it, but I hold his gaze. He keeps trying to glance away and it shows just how guilty he feels. I hate that he feels like this, and I hate that both of us being stupid caused all of it. I start to shake my head and tears stream down my cheeks. Dave slowly lets go of my hands, taking it as me giving up on him or turning him down.
“You’re so fucking stupid.” I tell him, wiping tears from my eyes onto my sleeve.
“I deserve that- oof.” I cut him off from validating the insult with a forceful hug. I throw my arms around his neck and practically suffocate him with how hard I'm squeezing him. It tips off his balance and we topple onto the ground, thankfully avoiding knocking anything over and landing on a semi-cushioned blanket.
“Karkat?” Dave asks, seemingly in shock.
“You’re not completely forgiven but I do accept your apology, and I’m sorry too, you fucking asshole. Now shut the fuck up and kiss me already before I cry some more.” I let out a little hiccup of a chuckle and push myself up to look at him. My eyes are bleary and I’m smiling wider than I can remember ever smiling.
He pulls me down to him and kisses me like I asked. Despite what I’d said, I start to cry even harder. I really am just a blubbering mess when it comes to large emotional situations that don’t call for anger. And despite there being a smidge of residual anger at Dave for the whole thing, there was mostly just longing. There was an intense and overwhelming sense of missing someone so bad it aches in your chest day in and day out. Maybe you know what I mean.
When we finally pull apart, we’re both gasping for air and panting, even though it was a closed mouth kiss. I just couldn’t seem to care enough about breathing to stop pressing my lips to his.
“Would you do me the honor of picnicking on the roof with me?” Dave asks, breathless and dazed. It’s too fucking cute.
“Yes. I’d fucking love to. What did you bring for us?” I ask, climbing off of him finally and sitting up like a normal fucking person. Thank fuck no one else was around to see that mess of and emotional explosion. I’d be embarrassed to hell and back. Maybe the roof wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
The first thing I notice when I pull myself away from Dave is that despite my warm coat, I’m fucking freezing. I grab some of the spare blankets that are stacked neatly, and pull two of them around myself. Dave pulls a picnic basket out of the corner, like a genuine fucking wicker basket with the flip lid and everything, and starts to rifle through it. He pulls out a couple wine glasses and gets up again. Over to the side there is a pile of snow in the corner that he’s placed two bottles of wine in, as an impromptu ice bath. It’s kind of hilarious and I can’t help the chortle that makes its way out of my throat.
“You really did all that?”
“Of course I did. You’re worth it.” Dave replies easily. He pops one of the bottles open and pours me a glass of rose. I don’t recognize the label which can only mean it’s really fucking cheap or really fucking expensive because my workplace only carries mid-priced wines apparently.
It smells kind of light and sweet though, so I can’t be all that mad. I take a small sip and it’s pretty decent. I glance over at Dave who has taken a considerably larger swig from his glass, and he’s grinning at me from behind the rim of it when he catches me looking.
“You like it?”
“Yeah …” I trail off, smiling and holding the glass closer to me. It’s just so fucking cold and the reality of this being a make up date is sort of hitting me.
“Something up? You wanna talk about stuff more?” He picks up on it immediately and there’s a small part of me that wishes he hadn’t. While it’s nice that he’s genuinely being more attentive, he also won’t let me dismiss my lingering thoughts for us to instead have a nice night of reconnection. I set my glass down carefully and nod.
“We probably should talk a little more, yeah.” I let it show in my voice just how much I’m metaphorically dragging my feet about this.
“You sure you want to?” He laughs a little, just to keep the tone light I’m sure.
“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get the talking out of the way so we can have a better night.”
“You got it. Where do you want to start?” Dave asks, setting his wine down as well and pulling out a sealed platter of assorted fruit and cheeses. Of course he’d have some kind of charcuterie board for us. That’s so fucking cute.
I take a deep breath and the first thing out of my mouth is “I missed you.” He looks at me knowingly and leaves room for me to elaborate.
“I missed you and I was so mad for a stupid amount of time, but really? It wasn’t entirely your fault. It was a lot of shit decisions and situational lack of clarity that led us to that fight. I’m sorry too. I should have let you talk to me on that date instead of flipping out so harshly. I was a sad lump on the couch so fucking often when I wasn’t at work, and it felt goddamn pathetic. All I wanted to do was contact you, but I told myself I couldn’t until you apologized. I- ….” I trail off, dropping my hands after animatedly gesturing with them the whole time.
“You’re stubborn. It’s alright. I can be too.” Dave says. It makes me wonder when the fuck he got so wise, even if that’s not exactly a hard observation to make. “We’re just people. We’re gonna have fights every now and then. If watching Dirk and Jake’s mess of a relationship has taught me literally anything, it’s that communication fixes most misunderstandings.”
“Yeah, I still just wish that I had given you the chance to communicate there. That was kind of mostly my fault.” I can’t bear to look at him while admitting that, so I fiddle with the blanket and look down at my hands.
“Hey, don’t go trying to take all the blame here. We both failed to communicate at different points. We’re equals here and we both had a hand in the problem we created. And regardless of who gets blamed for it, we’re here now aren’t we? We’re talking it out and we’re working on ways to move through and past it and strengthening shit.”
“Fuck you for being so smart about this shit.” I sputter, before I can really think to catch it with any sort of verbal filter. I know it sounds fucking mean, and maybe a little bitter, but at least it was honest.
“Woah. What’s really up, Karks?” He looks at me with such a soft concern, I can’t fucking take it and I start to cry again.
“You’re just so fucking put together about this! It feels weird. Nobody’s ever done this sort of thing with me before and it’s fucking weird. I don’t know what to say or do and I feel so goddamn small and like, dumb for all the shit that went down. Like we’re minimizing it.” I wipe the tears from my eyes with the blanket and cocoon myself a little tighter inside it, trying to self soothe.
“Oh. Woah, hey. Come here. Trust me, I’m not as put together as I seem. I’ve just been mulling over what I want to say so I’ve got it like, prepared and shit. Is it too scripted? Am I making a total ass of myself?” He scoots closer to me and rests a hand on my back gently.
“Just fucking, be yourself, okay? All this mature ass conversational whatever the fuck feels more like an interview than like, talking to you.” I can only imagine how fucking stressed I look.
“Is it the suit?” He asks, and I can’t tell if it’s a joke to lighten the mood or if he’s actually insecure about wearing the nicest thing I’ve ever seen him in.
“No, the suit is nice. God it’s so nice. You look great … Can we just be fucking normal for a bit?” I ask and when I meet his eyes again, he’s so much closer to me than I realized.
“Yeah. Yeah, totally. Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that.” He rubs my back a little as he says it. He’s being so goddamn caring and I can’t stand how cold and alone I feel.
“Great, apology accepted, now get in the fucking blanket with me and stop holding me outside of it. I missed you too much to have this distance bullshit.” I grumble, but honestly I’m relieved that he dropped the act so fast.
Dave and I shuffle a bit to adjust everything without spilling any wine glasses or knocking anything over, but eventually he’s pressed against my side and we’re cocooned together. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, focusing on getting my breathing to calm and the ache in my chest to feel less like a solid heavy lump. It works pretty well and Dave wrapping his arm around my back to hold me certainly helps a lot. Once I feel more composed I speak up again.
“I’m glad that we both learned a huge life lesson from all this and that we can work on shit together, but I’d appreciate it a fuck ton more if you presented it like yourself and less like you’re giving a speech for a class. I want it to feel as genuine as it can, and it feels inorganic when it’s all stiff and shit. I just want you, Dave, as yourself.” I give him a small kiss on the cheek and watch lovingly at the way it makes him blush just a little.
“Yeah. I was so nervous I sort of scripted it in my head so that I wouldn’t forget anything. But you’re right. It feels weird when I do it anyway. Fancy phrasing doesn’t mean shit if it makes us both uncomfortable.” I feel him sigh at the end of his statement and he sort of relaxes his body language after that.
It’s quiet for a long moment as we both just sort of warm up together and take in the calm and ease of being cuddled up.
“So, I brought cheese.” Dave says, gesturing towards the platter.
I can’t help but fucking laugh. It’s so ridiculous. “Yeah, you sure did. Cheese, and wine, and fruit.”
“Yeah!” He perks up and reaches for the fucking plate again, popping it open finally and offering it to me.
“This is really fucking cute, but please tell me you brought something that constitutes as a real meal also?” I say, while tossing a grape and a little cube of cheese into my mouth.
“You mean this isn’t totally satisfying? Absolutely filling? The pinnacle of a complete and balanced dinner?” He glances dramatically between me and the platter as he picks off a couple things for himself to snack on also. It’s so fucking comical and cute, I can’t help but roll my eyes and kiss his cheek again.
“So what did you bring, then?” I pick up my rose again and take a much larger sip, hoping it’ll help calm any of my residual nerves. With the combined aftertastes of the cheese and fruit it’s somehow even better than on its own. Kind of nice. I wouldn’t say I’m normally the biggest fan of wine, but this is nice.
Dave pulls the picnic basket closer and sort of rifles through it for a moment, apparently fighting with a container that he just barely managed to fit in there. He opens the tupperware and no small amount of steam comes out once the lid is off. He really made a hot, home cooked meal for us to share up here? I take a closer peek, leaning over his shoulder and almost start drooling right then and there. He’s got a couple of bacon wrapped somethings in there and whatever it is smells fucking delightful.
“Chicken or steak?” he asks me, as he pulls out two plates and sets of silverware.
“Is there enough for both?” Holy fucking shitttt.
“Yeah, of course babe.” He sets both our plates with two little bacon wrapped delights. I really don’t fucking know what to call these at this point, and pulls out another container afterwards. “Any sides?”
“Fuck, what is there?” I’m practically crawling over him at this point, but his cooking is phenomenal and I’d honestly forgotten to have dinner before coming to see him.
“Potatoes, gravy, biscuits, carrots, uhhh, asparagus. The works.”
“Holy hell. You’re really trying to spoil me here, huh?” I feel my stomach rumble and get mildly embarrassed by it.
“All of the above, then?” He asks with a light laugh as he goes about setting his own plate.
“Yes please.” I sit back and let him make everything all fucking nice and just sip my wine impatiently because goddamn. Holy shit goddamn. I guess the way to my heart really is through my fucking stomach.
Once he hands me a plate I swear the next five minutes are a blur of pure bliss. Everything is exceptional. The cold air doesn’t chill any bit of it all too much because of how quickly I’m shoveling food into my mouth. You’d think I’d been starved with the way I was acting. It would be embarrassing if not for the way Dave practically swallows his plate whole in much the same fashion. There’s a few moments where we make eye contact while chewing that are sort of, charged? There’s something there for sure. It feels normal and nice and by the time we’re done eating it almost feels like nothing ever went wrong between us in the first place.
I rest the plate on the ground near the little bonfire shaped heater and lean back against Dave’s shoulder once more. Looking around the little tent he’s set up is just so peaceful. The string lights aren’t too bright so it’s nice and soft and cozy. I start to space out a little, staring off into the distance.
Dave brings me back from it by resting his head against me and placing his hand over mine, not quite holding it yet. It takes a moment for me to realize he’s got a little vinyl player set up and the soft sweet sounds of one of my favorite albums is playing in the background now. I’m not really sure when he pressed play but I still start to hum along regardless, lacing my fingers through his and squeezing a little.
I can’t help but think back to our first kiss. I have no fucking clue why this would remind me of that, since there’s a distinct lack of dumpsters or noisy club nonsense. Nevertheless it’s a fond memory and it occurs to me that this will also be an amazing memory someday. Something small and warm flutters in my chest at the thought of that.
“This is nice.” I admit.
“Yeah, definitely better than a back alley.” Dave chuckles.
“You were thinking about that night too? Our first kiss?” I sit up a little and look at him.
“Yeah. You were too? Fucking wild. We must be telepathically connected or something.”
“Oh shut up.” I roll my eyes at him and relax back into our cuddle.
“No, I'm serious. Karkat we could be onto something. Maybe we’ll be able to send messages to each other with this new power we’ve cultivated. We could be like some weird kind of hero couple or some shit.” He prattles on.
“I don’t know how many people we’d save by talking to each other without words.” I squint and raise my eyebrows.
“Fine, fine, but it would be revolutionary. We could be studied for science! Maybe we’re both being exposed to radiation right now and we’re gaining powers together.”
“Dave?” I ask him, turning my head in his direction.
“Yeah?” He turns to look at me and we come just about nose to nose.
“Shut the hell up.” I say it affectionately, and I can only assume he knows that.
“Make me.” He shoots back, glancing down at my lips before meeting my gaze again.
Oh.
I mimic the action, and lick my own lips. Fuck. Okay. This is fine. We’ve kissed a million times before. Everything is fine. I literally have no fucking reason to be nervous about this. Why am I nervous about this? We both falter for a moment, the weight of everything hanging in the air and the faint scent of alcohol between us as our warm breaths waft over one another.
I’m not even sure who fucking moved first, but we end up in a very sloppy very needy kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth and force and pressure and everything I’ve damn well missed and needed. I accidentally nip at his lip a little hard, and he gasps, but when I try to pull away to see if he’s alright he just plunges right back in and keeps making out with me. It’s incredibly intoxicating, and I find myself just going with the flow of it and threading my fingers into his hair.
When I start to clue back in again, I realize I’ve crawled into his lap and am straddling his waist. He’s holding my back and the blankets are miraculously still draped around my shoulders despite all this. The music in the background has changed songs and I recognize “Heavenly” by Cigarettes After Sex because it’s literally one of my favorite songs. I match my movements to the pace a little bit, before pulling back for air for a second.
“This is my favorite song.” The words come out almost in a single breath and we’re both smiling wide at each other.
“Yeah? You wanna make it our song?” He suggests. It’s not the worst idea, but the timing is all sorts of fucking wild.
“One thing at a time, babe. Just kiss me again.” I’m too worked up to worry about anything else right now.
I can tell Dave wants to say something like “you don’t have to tell me twice” but he doesn’t get the chance to, with my lips covering his almost immediately. I’ve missed making out far too much and I need to make up for some of that lost time.
Dirk POV
GT: Hows it going? Been able to discern any fun details from the other side of the door? Tell me everything.
TT: I told you before, I’m not pressing my ear to the door to listen in on them. There are some things I just don’t want to accidentally happen to hear from my little brother.
GT: Right. Fair enough. Need any company guarding the stairwell then, plum?
I mull it over for a moment, thinking about how bored I am versus how likely it is that Jake would distract me or draw undue attention to the stairwell. I am supposed to be making sure no one bothers them after all. Right as I’m about to type out my reply to him, I get a new message from Dave.
TG: hey shits good youre free to go if you want well be heading down soon and can clean up the rest tomorrow
TG: leftover food and wine if you and jake wanna sneak up in about half an hour to collect
Well that makes things a lot easier. I quickly type out a response to Dave first, since it’s probably the most pressing that I get out of the stairwell ASAP for them. Definitely don’t wanna get caught being guard detail.
TT: No thanks, but enjoy your night. Glad it went well. Congrats lil man.
I reopen the conversation with Jake and can’t help but grin. He’s sent a few new messages since I wasn’t immediately replying.
GT: I promise I won’t start any shenanigans.
GT: I can be a perfectly inconspicuous guard detail when I want to be.
GT: If I’m honest, I just miss you and I’m bored out of my mind Dirk.
GT: Won’t you let me come hold your hand at the very least?
TT: It’s fine. I’m done here. Do you want to come pick me up? We can go for a late night walk and hold hands if you’re down for that.
GT: I’d be over the moon for that. See you in five shakes of a lambs tail.