Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Sanemi first heard word of the hashira meeting, the only thing he was able to feel was dread. Firstly, because no good news ever comes from an emergency hashira meeting, and two, because a meeting means seeing the other pillars, and seeing the other pillars mean seeing Tomioka Giyuu.

Sanemi hates the egotistical asshole, who thinks he is better than everyone else. The bitch could atleast talk more, instead of ignoring everyone who he deems underneath him.

With a deep sigh, Sanemi deflated with defeat, and began navigating the forest, leaving behind a beheaded demon.

—

When Sanemi first met Tomioka, he just knew he was going to hate the asshole. The freshly turned pillar gained joyful greetings from most of the other Hashira, if not too joyful. He blinked towards the dark-haired man in the corner, before turning to the bejeweled pillar (What’s his name? Tagen? Togan?) 

“Hey, you, flashy, what’s up with the gloomy asshole in the corner? Does he think he’s to good for introductions?” Sanemi demanded, his voice growing in volume the more he speaks. The sound hashira just gave a exhale, seemly thinking for a moment before responding.

”That’s Tomioka Giyuu, the water pillar, no one really knows much about him, doesn’t speak much, doesn’t ever try to hang out, dismisses everyone. Has this whole ‘I’m not like you’ mentality. I wouldn’t try with him, been trying to get the guy out for beers ever since I met him.” The guy looks actually put out by the constant dismissal from his coworker, and Sanemi decided right then he will get a response from the asshole, positive of negative he could care less. 

“Hey! Asshole!” He exclaimed throughout the room, and it fell silent as everyone glanced at the direction the loud exclamation came from, and the sound pillar was shaking his head rapidly in the corner of his eye. Tomioka glanced over, before tilting his head curiously. Sanemi hesitated as that dead stare focused on him, before shaking it off “Yes, you, who the fuck do you think you are, are you too good to talk so us normal people!”

Tomioka looked quizzical, before shaking his head slowly and turning to walk out.

Yeah, Sanemi definitely hates Tomioka Giyuu.

—

Sanemi shuddered at the memory of those dead eyes, by the time he finished reminiscing he was at the doors of the meeting room. Everyone was already there, chatting with eachother and Tomioka, as usual, stood in the corner, looking like he would much rather be fast asleep, something he didn’t get the privilege of recently if the deep bags under his eyes is anything to go by. 

Sanemi was quickly surrounded by Mitsuri, the love hashira cheerfully chatting away at his side. Suddenly, he heard a commotion and glanced over, seeing Obanai storm off from Tomioka’s side, Mitsuri gave a squeak from his side and rushed to comfort the masked man. 

He felt his eyes drift back to the water pillar and froze when he made eye contact. Eyes looking like the deepest part of the ocean, without any hint of soul behind that ever so dead gaze, his usual dark blue eyes looking ever more striking paired with the dark circles underneath them.

God, Sanemi hates everything about Tomioka Giyuu. He hates his face, hates his walk, hates that stupid monotonous voice, but the worst thing about Tomioka is his eyes, the eyes that unnerve Sanemi to no end. Those deep, endless voids that sit without emotion, like a old puppet thrown away. No human’s eyes should look like that, but, then again, can Tomioka Giyuu really count as human?

With skin as pale as snow, even though he must spend so much time in the sun, hair dark and silky as night, reaching up to his waist when released from the large ponytail, with a face that never uses more then three muscles and a voice that is just so… emotionless that is keeps you wondering if he could even feel emotions. Fuck, and that gaze. So dead, so lifeless, like he’s a shell of a once happy man, like something reached inside and took away the thing that makes a human, crushed it up and threw it away, leaving this creature behind.

Sanemi doesn’t know what happened to Tomioka, but he just knows, whatever it was, it was horrifying. It took his soul and with it his humanity. He’s a monster, wearing the face of a man, but one thing no monster could mimic is humanity.

Something horrible happened to Tomioka Giyuu, but Sanemi is a coward. Sanemi will hate and hate and when it becomes too much, when Tomioka finally snaps, Sanemi will be right there to take him out.

Because Tomioka Giyuu is a wilted rose, and no matter how hard anyone tries there is no fixing him, there is no getting better. 

So Sanemi takes deep breath, because Sanami Shinazugawa and Tomioka Giyuu are enemies, before snarling,

”What the fuck are you looking at, huh asshole?”

Chapter Text

Shinobu has stolen her sister’s smile.

This is a fact, the sky is blue, the sun is hot, Shinobu Kocho has stolen her sister’s smile.

There are many facts in Kocho’s life. She enjoys collecting facts, it simplifies life between the slaying and the chaos comes with the butterfly estate. 

But there is one fact that she has never brought up with others, and that fact is Tomioka Giyuu is haunted by ghosts of the past.

The sky is blue, the sun is hot, dogs bark, Kocho has stolen her sister’s smile and Tomioka Giyuu is haunted.

Now, Kocho likes to think her and Tomioka are at least on a friendly term. Yes, she likes to tease and torment him but she truely does appreciate his company.

But, as much as she likes Tomioka, he’s a broken man. Sometimes, when Tomioka once again gets on a mission, and the butterfly estate is quiet, she will sit next to him while he ‘rests’. He has never stated he has trouble sleeping, but it’s clear he must have some sort of insomnia, so on this day as he stares tiredly  at the ceiling, and she makes more medicine on the nearby table, it’s almost peaceful. 

She backed off her usual pestering, getting a subconscious feeling that Tomioka is not prepared nor in the right state of mind to deal with it. He got sliced by a demons claws taking it for a young girl who got caught up in the fight, a slice spreading down his arm and shoulder. 

As she finishes up the numbing agent, she turns back to her patient, sitting on the bed next to him as she begins to apply the mixture gently, running her hands down the loose muscles. With a exhale, she glanced up at the raven haired man, he looked even more exhausted as usual, the bags underneath his eyes reaching bruising level, his gaze half lidded and dead.

”You can’t keep doing this to me Tomioka-san, I’ve sewed you up more times than I can count, it’s like you are just waiting for the killing strike to hit.” Her usual smile is plastered firmly on her face, a light joking tone filling the air. 

Tomioka gave a soft hum, and Shinobu’s hands stilled. That… That wasn’t an acknowledging hum, that was an agreement hum. Her gave traveled upwards, feeling her smile growing more strained.

”Tomioka-san.” Her voice was soft and silky, but a hostile undertone. Tomioka have another hum, his eyes locked on the ceiling.

”Tomioka.” She repeated, once again another hum.

”Giyuu.” Shinobu caved, calling out the others given name. Tomioka’s eyes finally slid over, locking onto her tense frame with a slight tilt of his head.

“Yes Shinobu?” His soft, monotonous voice carried through the air.

”Giyuu, do you want to die.” She asked blankly, leaning forward on two hands, Tomioka blinked sluggishly, as if processing her question before shrugging. She exhaled, her smile dimming.

”Alright, let me phrase it like this, a demon is coming at you for a killing blow, you can’t dodge, it hits you, would you care you’re dying?” Her voice comes out steady, but her smile gets more and more shaky.

”I… I suppose not really?” His voice wavers a bit at the end, unsure on what he is meant to be saying. 

Shinobu sighs, because what else is she meant to do? Her friend doesn’t care about his life, and god does it pain her to know that. She plasters on her best Kanae smile and went to speak but a curious voice interrupted her.

”Why do you mimic Kanae’s smile and personality?” His eyes lifted slightly, the grogginess slowly fading and Shinobu freezes. 

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about Tomioka-san. When have you last slept?” Is what she said, because the sky is blue, the sun is hot, and Shinobu Kocho is a liar, through and through.

A simple hum was all she got, and she steadied her hands and continued her task, but when she next looked up Tomioka was staring off to the distance with a far away look in his eyes, like he was seeing something no one else could. 

She tied off the bandage and got up, packing up her stuff and turning to leave, but a soft voice interrupted her.

”I had a sister too, you know.” She froze, glancing behind her. The man had a haunted look in his eyes, before shifting that every so empty gaze toward Shinobu.

”What was her name?” Was all she said , staring at the floor.

”Tsutako.” And oh, she didn’t know the usual emotionless man could sound so… fond, yet so haunted. 

She simply nodded, before leaving the room. To her surprise, a soft smile creeped across her face. This wasn’t Kanae’s smile though, no this was her own.

—

Three months later, it was a night so late it was becoming morning, and Shinobu slides open the door to Tomioko’s room. The man has come in yet again for another injury (This time broken ribs), and she is praying to all gods he didn’t run away in the night.

The door is silent as it moves open and she shifts to poke her head in, but freezes. The man in question is leaning against the window, the moon shining in and illuminating his form. His hair falling over his shoulders as he looks nothing short of ethereal. But what struck her most was his soft voice, filled with so much grief that she felt her heart pound.

”-rry, I’m so sorry Sabito, I broke my promise, I’m so sorry this happens more time then we can count, it’s broken ribs this time, I just wish it was me that died that night, you would’ve been such a bette-“ She stepped out and slid the door close. She didn’t deserve to hear that, no one did. So, she plastered on her bright smile and cheerfully walked down the hall, humming a light song that she remembers so fondly from Kanae, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Tomioka ever missed Tsutako, the name that now also haunts in the back of her mind.

In the end, the world is built of facts.

The sky is blue, the sun is hot, dogs bark, cats meow,

Kocho Shinobu has stolen her sisters smile,

And Tomioka Giyuu is a broken, haunted man.

Chapter Text

The moon is bright.

Muichiro wonders through the dark woods, each step paving a way on the muddy ground.

What was he doing here again?

Where is here exactly?

Where’s his estate?

He remembers a voice telling him not to get lost, and he remembers another telling him it’s normal for him not to remember.

He feels so confused, his brain feels like a forest on a foggy day. His memories have a layer of mist covering them.

He glanced down at his outfit, he’s wearing his full uniform, was he on a mission? Is he still on a mission? He can’t remember.

His hair is damp, and entirely down. It keeps getting tangled with his fingers, it’s irritating him (he thinks it is at least?).

He glances at the sky, the moon is bright, he thinks he already noticed that, did he?

His fingers get tangled in his hair, it’s flowing across his back and damp, he notices.

He’s wearing his uniform, was he at a mission?

Where is he right now?

The dirt has become muddy. Has it rained?

His hair is damp and illuminated by the moon.

The moon is bright, has he noticed that?

Wher-

“Muichiro?” A monotone voice interrupts his thoughts, he didn’t recognise the voice, but then again when can he recognise something.

Is it always this bad?

He can’t remember (But then again isn’t that the problem?)

What is he doing again?

Huh, the mo-

“Muichiro.” The voice spoke (again? Did the voice speak before? He can’t remember.) He turns around, coming face to face to semi-familiar face. The person has long black hair tied into a ponytail. Their features are delicate and feminine. Their eyes were most striking, a deep blue without emotion, like the deepest part of the ocean where only the most dangerous lay. Is this man dangerous? He can’t remember. 

The moonlight reflects of his frame, making him look otherworldly, his pale features resembling something other than human. Is this a demon? Is this thing a human? He can’t remember. Maybe he’s the reason the moon’s so bright.

”What are you doing out here Muichiro?” The thing questions, it’s voice deep and emotionless, his name rolls off of the things tongue with practised ease, do they know eachother? 

“Who are you?” Muichiro finally speaks, What are you, is what he meant to ask, why are your eyes like that, he meant to ask, where is your soul, he meant to ask.

His hair is damp, the moon is bright, his hair sways in the wind and tangles in his fingers, has it rained recently? 

Why is it muddy?

Why does it smell of petrichor?

“I’m Tomioka Giyuu, the water pillar, why are you out so far?” The thing speaks after a noticeable pause, what is it again? Surely no human looks so ethereal. Water pillar, he remembers dark hair and blue eyes, distant as they look of to the distance, He remembers complaining and rude words about a Tomioka. Is it this Tomioka?

”I don’t know, I can’t remember.” Is all he replies, why can’t he remember? His hair is damp, the moon is so bright, why can’t he remember.

Theres a silence, one of which both are unsure how to break. His hair sways in the wind, getting tangled in his fingers. It’s irritating him, why is it damp?

”Is your hair irritating you?” The thing finally asks, it’s head tilting like a dog. What is this thing again? How does it know he’s irritated? Is he in danger?

”I think so.” He mutters, hands clenching over multicoloured hair. He’s tired, where is he again?

“You think so?” The things voice doesn’t have tone. It’s not judgemental. It’s oddly calming, he decides he likes this thing, whatever it is.

”I can’t remember much, someone told me that’s okay, I can’t remember who. The moon is very bright today, isn’t it?” He mutters, his eyes flicking to the star filled sky. He feels relaxed, whatever this thing is, its presence is oddly calming.

His hair tangled over his hands, it’s irritating him. He frowns, clenching his hand, when did he unclench it? He can’t remember. 

“Do you want me to braid your hair, and then I’ll take you to your estate.” The thing questions, and Murichiro pauses before nodding his consent. The thing leads him to a relatively dry rock and sat him down.

It’s quiet, only illuminated by the moonlight which makes the things eyes glow. Hands gently cradle through his hair, the feeling is familiar, did someone do this before? 

It feels nice, as the thing starts to braid. His mind is less foggy now, he remembers a mission, a lower demon. It rained during the fight. The moon is quite bright though. He is pretty sure he thought that. 

The soft hands in his hair makes the tension release from his body. A feeling of warmth spread across his body, he remembers hands smaller then the current things hands doing similar motions. He thinks the memories are real, he doesn’t know though.

A soft humming fills the air, it takes him a moment to realise it’s coming from the thing. It’s a soft tune, he hears soft lyrics coming from the thing. Even it’s voice isn’t human enough. Although, he feels his eyes getting heavy, and he melted into the solid body behind.

The next thing he knows, he’s being gently nudged awake. His mind feels groggy with sleep and arms boneless with comfort, he blinks up to see the thing lifting him up.

Murichiro leans heavily against the thing next to him, a yawn climbing up his throat and when he looks down, he sees his hair tied up into an intricate braid. His eyes trail upwards to the thing and sees its black hair free and flowing down his back. He thinks it was tied up before, he can’t remember.

The ground is muddy, why was he here with the thing?

The things eyes glow in the light, the moons bright.

”How do you know to braid?” He asks, the song the thing is singing stops and it looks down, those dead eyes locking onto the younger kid.

”My sister, she couldn’t braid so I learnt. She would sit me infront if the fireplace and make me braid her hair as she sung that song.” The thing hums and Murichiro couldn’t help but wonder why it’s pretending to be human, pretending to have a family. 

He’s to tired to ask though.

Why is the dirt wet?

Why is he here?

Did he have a mission?

Oh, he’s at his estate.

The thing pats his head, nudging them forward 

“Go sleep, Murichiro. I don’t want to find you lost on any more of my late night walks.” Murichiro (That’s him, isn’t it?) nods and walks inside. He falls into bed and falls asleep, thinking about the bright moon.

—

The sun rays wake him up, and he blinks groggily before rising up. He blinks.

His hair is in a braid?

He can’t remember last night, who put his hair in a braid.

All he remembers is the bright moon, a humming song and comfort.

Was there a demon there? Why does he remember thinking about something not human?

Murichiro sighs, relaxing into bed.

He doesn’t know, he thinks the moon was bright.

Did that thing make the moon bright?

Chapter Text

Mitsuri is terrified of the ocean.

Of course, she doesn’t tell anyone! It’s not very lady-like or Hashira-like to have such a silly fear!

It’s just, the ocean is a dark, freezing place with anything that can creep and it’s just not a nice place!

There’s just a tiny problem with that though.

Tomioka Giyuu is the ocean.

Everything about him represents the ocean. Those endless blue voids everyone just pretends are eyes, his voice so deep yet so silky, his words flowing like tides. His movements are fluid, like water flowing. Even the way he breathes is like the ocean! Deep and slow, as quiet as a boat stranded. His personality, as cold as can be.

Now, that’s not a problem, Mitsuri loves her friend like a brother, but he’s just so… well cold.

When Master and her first met, he said something she just couldn’t forget.

”The difference between slayers and demons is a subtle one. Slayers are a warm fire, bringing comfort and protection from the cold. Demons are that cold, bringing fear and discomfort where ever they go.”

So far, it’s been true! Everyone she has met has been warm! Rengoku is warm like the sun, bringing life and joy, Uzui is like an ever-flickering flame, it’s colour blending and shifting, demanding your attention. Sanemi is warm like a forest fire, destroying anything in its path. Obani is warm like a fluffy jacket on a cold day, brining comfort and protection. 

Giyuu on the other hand, is freezing cold, the type of cold that creeps up on a corpse, the type of cold that signifies terror and suffering.

She likes to believe that he was once warm, that once upon a time he had a flame, bright and cheerful.

Maybe he was be like a campfire, bringing joy and people together. Maybe he was be like a candle, lighting the path to safety. Maybe he was a bright star, flickering in the sky, inflicting hope into children’s souls.

Yeah! He must of been like Jupiter, a star that failed but grew to be something even bigger.

But as Mitsuri sits opposite this man, this cold, cold man, she can’t help but wonder if she’s being hopeful.

If Tomioka Giyuu was simply born wrong. If he was always this way, cold and distance.

If Tomioka Giyuu is more demon then the monsters that they slay.

Because demons are true to their nature, you know when you stumble upon a demon.

Tomioka isn’t true. He hides like a cat from water. He’s on the edge of a cliff, a cliff that leads to a dark place and nothing can get him away from the cliff. 

One day, maybe today, maybe in years time, he will snap and all Mitsuri can hope for is that someone will put a stop to this terrifying monster before it’s too late.

But then, she’ll see that small smile. Hesitant and full of emotion, and she’ll be horrified that she ever thought that. Horrified she would even consider that.

”Mitsuri, are you quite alright?” Tomioka speaks, his voice monotone but that ever so small curve of his lip still in place.

”Of course Giyuu! I was just thinking how pretty those flowers are!” She speaks with her usual loud tone, a smile growing across her face. Giyuu looks thoughtful before he rises from the bench.

Her head tilts, eyes following his movements as he approaches the flower filled bush. He bends down, his movements ever so graceful as he gently begins to pick the most beautiful flowers.

Mitsuri can’t see what he’s doing, but telling from the small shifts of his arms he’s being very deicate as he weaves the flowers together.

And then he turns, and in his hands is a small flower crown, so beautiful that she can’t help but squeal.

”Is that for me! I love you so much Giyuu!!” She squeaks, rushing over with childlike joy.

With hesitant movements, Giyuu places the crown in place upon her head. She grins.

”Didn’t take you for a flower man, who taught you this!” She chirps, grinning widely.

”Nezuko.” He blandly replies, and Mitsuri feels worry stir up. Now she’s closer she can see deep bags under his eyes.

”Have you been sleeping, Giyuu? You look so tired!” She exclaims, worry filling her tone. The man in question shrugs slightly.

”I can never sleep.” Is all he replies, his eyes growing dead and cold once more.

”Nightmares, or just can’t sleep?” She questions, tilting her head to the side.

The man shrugs, staring at her with such a lifeless look she couldn’t help but wonder if he stole his eyes off a corpse. If when he dies, will he look any different.

She shrugs off the thoughts as they begin to walk back, her worryfilled questions filling the air.

(And if late at night, she sits there with the flower crown gently resting in her hands, wondering, well that’s just her secret.

Because she can’t help but wonder if the day Tomioka Giyuu was born, the world got that much colder.

Because the world is a warm place, and Tomioka Giyuu is a cold man.)