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Match Game

Summary:

The Bridgerton siblings are sick and tired of Colin and Penelope's obliviousness. A late night group text escalates into a chaotic competition for the ages as they take things into their own hands.

Or, how Colin and Penelope finnaly get their shit together and get their HEA.

Notes:

  • Huge thanks to the Romantic Wallflowers Discord (Join us! We have so much fun talking fanfic) for inspiring me to write my first ever fic! 
  • I just can’t help myself but drop in little nuggets of fanon references and memes because they are just wired into my brain at this point. Enjoy all the easter eggs.
  • I don’t have a Brit-picker, so apologies in advance for anything my U.Statesian self got wrong in that area!
  • I played fast and loose with ages in this fic, opting to split the difference between book and show Polin and landing with a 3ish year split. Pen is 28 and Colin is 31 (but also this fic takes place over the course of ~a year and I forgot to account for birthdays in there soooo it is what it is and what really is time in fanfiction anyway?)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Strike a Match

Notes:

Thanks to Lauren for beta-ing and to The Romantic Wallflowers Discord for encouragement and inspiration.

Chapter Text

2 September 2023

[23:41]

Daphne Basset added Simon Basset, Anthony Bridgerton, Kate Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Sophie Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Francesca Stirling, Michaela Stirling, Gregory Bridgerton, and Hyacinth Bridgerton to the chat

Daph: What the hell does our dear brother think he’s playing at?

Ant: What did he do now?

Daph: Did you see him with Penelope tonight?

Soph: I thought for a second he was just going to jump her right there in the pub

Greg: tbh wouldnt blame him penelope looked 🔥2nite

El: she did but also ew Greg

Soph: is he still pretending they’re ‘just friends’?

Fran: I think he actually believes it

Greg: 🤦

Ben: the only people who don’t know colin loves penelope are colin and penelope

Hy: and eloise

El: I will kill you in your sleep

Ant: Don’t threaten your sister.

Eloise Bridgerton disliked a message, Kate Bridgerton disliked a message, Benedict Bridgerton disliked a message, Sophie Bridgerton disliked a message, Daphne Basset disliked a message, Simon Basset disliked a message, Eloise Bridgerton disliked a message, Francesca Stirling disliked a message, Gregory Bridgerton disliked a message, Hyacinth Bridgerton disliked a message

Hyacinth Bridgerton renamed the chat Colin Who?

Mick: fr though I think he’s clueless

Greg: 🙄

Fran: Maybe we should tell him?

Kate: I don’t think he’d hear it.

Hy: we shld just lock them in a room 2gether until they figure it out

Hy: naked

Ew: that crosses so many lines I don’t even know what to say

Ant: Agreed.

Kate: It’s not a bad idea actually.

Ant: wtf

Soph: ???

Fran: ?

Mick: uhhhhh

Ben: lmao

Greg: 💀

Kate: Not the naked part!

Kate: But the locking them in a room thing.

Kate: Maybe we figure out a way to get them to admit their feelings for each other.

Mick: we could send them fake love letters from each other

Greg: sign them up 4 a reality dating show

Hy: make them solve a murder 2gether but they can only solve it if they get married

Ben: those are all terrible ideas

Anthony Bridgerton emphasized a message, Kate Bridgerton emphasized a message, Sophie Bridgerton laughed at a message, Gregory Bridgerton disliked a message, Daphne Basset emphasized a message, Simon Basset laughed at a message, Eloise Bridgerton emphasized a message, Francesca Stirling liked a message, Michaela Stirling laughed at a message, Hyacinth Bridgerton disliked a message

Daph: What if we make this more interesting?

Ben: say more

Greg: 👀

Daph: What if we each try our own way of getting them to figure out whatever is going on between them?

Daph: And whoever gets them together wins

El: no way

El: that’s stupid

Greg: its not stupid

Fran: It could blow up in our faces

Soph: might be worth it though

Ben: 👆

Kate: We’d need to establish clear rules of engagement.

Kate: And all agree to follow them without exception.

 

Daphne Basset is inviting Colin Who? to a Facetime call

Call ended, duration 1:47

 


 

3 September 2023

[01:28]

Kate: I am sharing the rules we agreed upon here for posterity. Please confirm receipt and understanding.

 

Rules of Engagement

  1. Each sibling will have a chance to get Colin and Penelope to recognize and admit their feelings for one another.
  2. No sibling may interfere with another sibling’s attempt.
  3. Spouses may assist in execution.
  4. Those siblings who are unmarried may request assistance from one accomplice. Accomplices are subject to the same rules as spouses unless otherwise noted.
  5. A minimum of one month must pass between each attempt so as not to arouse suspicion.
  6. The order of attempts will be determined by the drawing of straws at the next family gathering.
  7. No one shall speak of the game to anyone outside of this group (selected accomplices may be told about the individual attempt they are assisting but are not to be informed of the larger game).
  8. No one shall inform Colin or Penelope about the game.
  9. No one shall directly instruct, advise, or otherwise tell Colin and/or Penelope to get together.
  10. If Colin or Penelope asks for advice regarding their relationship, participants may give general advice only and all parties agree to remain as impartial in this as possible.

The winner shall receive:

  • Permanent bragging rights
  • First choice of mallet at the next annual Pall Mall game
  • A speech at Colin and Penelope’s wedding
  • Anthony’s nicest bottle of whisky (if Anthony is the winner, the prize will be pulled from Simon’s collection instead)

Game objective:

  • Colin and Penelope admit they are in love
  • Colin and Penelope begin dating / get engaged / get married or otherwise enter into a romantic relationship with one another

Dissenting opinions:

Eloise has requested inclusion within this official record of her opinion that this game is “intrusive, heteronormative, and disrespectful of Penelope’s agency". She also notes that she doesn’t particularly care about Colin’s agency.

Anthony Bridgerton liked a message, Benedict Bridgerton liked a message, Sophie Bridgerton liked a message, Daphne Basset liked a message, Simon Basset liked a message, Francesca Stirling liked a message, Michaela Stirling liked a message, Gregory Bridgerton liked a message, Hyacinth Bridgerton liked a message, Eloise Bridgerton disliked a message