1 - 20 of 37 Works in Snarky Q (James Bond)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Yes, this is based on the tweet:
    - The bond's Name. James Name.
    - Pleased to… what?
    - Bond Name's the james.
    - Are you alright?
    - Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance.

    This is entirely my friends' fault and I take no responsibility for this crack.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    458
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1,875
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The new head of the Employee Professional Development department at MI6 mistakes Q for a lowly flunky. Q gets his revenge in a perfectly professional manner. Bright Star ‘verse, but may be read on its own.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,354
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    570
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    5,534
  3. Tags
    Summary

    They talk, and Q reveals a little backstory, James returns the favour.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,785
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Coda to “Crash and Burn.” The beginning of a beautiful friendship, set in 2008. Featuring Tanner and Q (who’s not yet Q at this point), with a splash of protective former double-oh (Q’s father). Basically, we find out what Q’s father was up to during “Crash and Burn” (read: causing chaos, ex-double-oh style), and we learn that a bored genius is a bad thing for the global economy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    290
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    3,296
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Eve Moneypenny makes a new friend after the disaster in which she accidentally shot MI6's best agent off of a train. Takes place at the beginning of Skyfall. Bright Star 'verse, but may stand alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,701
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    328
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3,034
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Q, who isn’t Q yet, is sent out on a mission with 002. Only one of them makes it back alive. Pre-Skyfall Q backstory for why Q is afraid of flying. Features big brotherly Alec Trevelyan, and lots of hurt/comfort and angst. Part of the Bright Star ‘verse, after “The Recruit,” but can stand alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,275
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    412
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    5,587
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Хроника восьми лет одних отношений — с осени двенадцатого, когда Рауль Сильва убил Оливию Мэнсфилд, Кью стал главой технического отдела, а Мэллори пришёл в разведку, до карантинного лета двадцатого.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    100,289
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    3,189
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Everyone lives two lives. The second one begins when it is realized that the first is temporary.

    This is a story about salvation. Or rather, a story about two men and their two lives. Bond: old, weary, nothing left to lose. Missing. Q: Young, powerful, nothing left to lose. Ever-present, ever wondering.

    This is a story about abandonment. Or rather, a story about fidelity. What one has to be loyal to when the world is crumbling. Q: Queen and Country, Earl Grey tea, Eve and Mallory and his brothers. James Bond. Bond: unknown. Nothing.

    This is a story about legacy. The brave new world. The Fighting Temeraire. Or: how to pick up the pieces after Bond leaves, with Q's car and Q's stupid, shameful heart.

    Someone has to be 007, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,442
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    487
    Bookmarks:
    110
    Hits:
    11,123
  9. Tags
    Summary

    There is a monster sinking ships all over the world. No one knows what it is, where it came from, or what it will do next. M sends Bond and Q on an expedition with the Americans (including the CIA's own Felix Leiter) to help hunt the monster and stop it from attacking more ships. Along the way, Bond and Q's friendship grows into something deeper, secrets of the sea are revealed, loyalties are tested, and Leiter would just like to go home before they all get eaten by sharks or something.

    Herein is a Bond-inspired rewrite of Jules Verne's Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, updated for the modern times.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,808
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    63
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    993
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which Q gets into an argument (with HR), and gets out of his head (about Bond), and gets by.

    Or: MI6 finally gets to the paperwork around Q's emergency promotion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,334
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    265
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2,852
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Renna Albach Soong. Ensign. Happily marries the android love of her life, Lieutenant Commander Data, in a ceremony historic for both the Federation and cybernetic advancement. But the festivities are cut short when the body of Dr. Bruce Maddox is found the morning after the happy occasion. Solving a murder isn't exactly what the Soongs had in mind for newlywed life but the quest the mystery takes them on will teach Data about the complexities of emotion and rectify Renna's own misplaced feelings towards cybernetic research. BOOK TWO of the Soong Tetralogy. COMPLETE.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,922
    Chapters:
    45/45
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    416
  12. Tags
    Summary

    [...]And no-" Q raised a finger, letting it hover imperiously in the air between them "-don't do that. Don't pout"

    "I'm not pouting"

    "Oh, and what do you call that?"

    "Disappointment"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,628
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,321
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In an ironic twist of fate, Picard has his heart stolen by the last person anyone would expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,263
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    924
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Renna Albach, your normal 26-year-old public historian, loved her simple life on Earth That was until December 2379 when a mysterious intergalactic plague killed her. Saved by Lieutenant Commander Data and brought aboard the Enterprise as a historian consult, she'll admit she doesn't know the first thing about Starfleet. But she does know she hopelessly loves a Soong android, and that a mysterious entity might want to be her greatest frenemy. BOOK ONE of the Soong Tetralogy

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,489
    Chapters:
    49/49
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,663
  15. Tags
    Summary

    In which James Bond has a habit of catching colds and disappearing off the face of the earth without as much as a word. Q is quite sick of Bond not realizing that his friends do worry about him and makes sure that he knows from now on. Bond is mostly busy crushing on him, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,531
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,079
  16. Tags
    Summary

    [The shave scene from Skyfall, but with Q instead of Moneypenny]

    Bond pulled the door open, his gun pointed at whoever his surprise visitor was.

    "007. Do lower the gun, if you wouldn't mind."

    "Q."

    Series
    • Part 1 of 00Q
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,664
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    306
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    3,291
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Picard's head snapped up. Q lounged against the opposite wall, wearing a credible rendition of Shinzon's iridescent armor. "What fresh hell—"

    Q pouted, of course. "Now, now. Is that any way to greet the father of your child?"

    (After the events of Star Trek: Nemesis, Picard considers his legacy, and Q has thoughts.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    802
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    346
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Bond has been ignoring his biological needs. Boothroyd is retiring and MI6 is in need of a new Quartermaster. What do these two things have in common? They both have an easy solution... if only M can get Bond to extract a certain hacker.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,654
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    870
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    12,781
  19. Tags
    Summary

    a second-person perspective of Q sucking James's cock

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    522
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,246
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Q decides to mess with Picard... celebrity Jeopardy has never been so strange.

    Spock and McCoy get timeline swapped with Chakotay and Tuvok during an important ritual.

    McCoy doesn’t like machines, his reaction to The Doctor (Voyager) is unsurprising.

    Spock’s reaction to being trapped in a room with McCoy is unexpected

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1,111

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